Extra notes: Some people have assumed that because we mention a long history of SA and CSA, that our most recent relationship must have also been sexually abusive. I can understand why people might have assumed this, but we need to firmly clarify that this is not true. That relationship was a rare and brief exception to an extensive abuse history. Because of this, it never came to mind when talking about abuse in this video. We have been SA'd again since the relationship ended. The specifics of our abuse and the people involved is not something we ever intend to share or allude to. We know it's natural to draw assumptions, so we do ask you to please keep this in mind in order to avoid accidentally jumping to conclusions about our abuse history when you watch our videos.
@@DissociaDID Really thank you for showing that consent can be withdrawn when needed, it’s a good reminder for me. Had someone cross our boundaries so many times even when we said no was terrifying. Traumatised after :/ Regardless, we’re trying to live our life and thrive when we can. Thank you for your videos, seriously, especially Mara’s video. Her presence just makes me feel calm haha :p Anyway, thanks again! Please take care
Love you guys, thank you for putting out this video. Obviously it covered a lot of things going on with you guys currently but even just you guys speaking and being open was very powerful thank you ❤️❤️ Sending support
Thank you for clarifying when it comes to that past relationship. I hope my comment (if it's mine you're addressing here) before didn't come across as an assumption or accusatory. It was more of a concern and curiosity. I'm just glad that you're taking care and standing up for yourself now. You're really strong and we all care about you deeply!
The privacy thing reminds me of how some people say, "Why are women okay with marching around in revealing bikinis, but they get upset when we want to see them in their underwear!?" CONSENT! We do not consent to you seeing us in what we deem a private moment. When we go out in revealing clothes, we THEN consent to being seen in such a way (still not a good excuse to sexualize someone and openly attack them for wearing clothes they're comfortable in)
As a victim of childhood sexual abuse myself, this was a lesson that took me years to learn. It's hard to explain this concept to anyone when they haven't had someone take advantage of a body and a mind that wasn't developed. Do not let anyone, especially people on the internet, take that discovery from you. It is a great step forward towards healing. It took me finding a partner who accepts and it pacient with me to even get close to that place.
This is how I've felt most of my growing up life! As someone who is not a victim of CSA, but had a scary, scarring experience of a sexual nature as an young adult, I did think it was because of my looks/body. There is something about me that has always attracted the creepiest of people, and I thought there was something wrong with me or that I was somehow seeking that kind of attention. Otherwise, why would those disgusting creeps keep advancing or coming for me? In my tween/teen years, I often wished that I could be considered ugly in the eyes of men, so that pervs wouldn't be so drawn to me. It's taken me years to finally feel comfortable with my own sexuality, especially after my first non-consensual sexual encounter. What happened to me was NOT my fault, I did NOT ask for it by looking at a person a certain way, or by "simply being beautiful," as one creep put it to me. And there is NOTHING WRONG about feeling sexually aroused and consenting to what you want to do about those feelings, either taking them further or stopping there. My body is MINE, what I want to do with it is MY right, within MY control, for MY pleasure, REGARDLESS of what I look like to other people. I do NOT need to apologize, feel embarrassed, or be ashamed about my body being attractive. Thank you, DissociaDID, for making that abundantly clear. And thank you, Zuzanna Kuklinska, for highlighting this; even now, I still need gentle reminders to tell me that there's no shame in being/feeling beautiful.
Even if you have no fun people get mad at you lol...literally someone out there will complain about EVERY single thing...the most wholesome pure good content has people complaining somewhere in the comments smh
conclution, there is always somebody complaining, what matter though is if its the same people complaining, because then they are hypocritical otherwise its just a unfortunate coinsidence.
A line from a recent song by the female artist chinchilla is I can naked in your bed still entitled to decline. The song is know no. It's about boundaries and people accepting the no they're given when it is given
@@dightonazpeitia4350 could be that a person who has previously been abused in bed is trying to do exposure therapy so their in bed with someone they trust. The more it continues they feel less and less comfortable and say no. That person (or anyone) can say no at any point in a situation.
@@jessicalingo4346 So, they are drawing in a person who never consented to be a part of their "sexual therapy" by luring them into bed? They say no, and bam, THEY are the victim all of a sudden. I see a lot of shifting goal posts here lol. It’s not ok to exploit others for your own therapeutic needs, just as it is not ok to keep going thru with something when someone has already said no. There are boundaries to be respected on BOTH SIDES here.
Agreed. I think "being the bigger person" only applies to children. And even there only in some situations. If someone hurts you, you are allowed to speak up. And there is nothing wrong with that.
i take being the bigger person to not mean you dont tell anyone about it just that you dont lash out about it. as if it is a situation that you have to "be the bigger person" that means that it shouldnt be ok under social norms and needs correction, not that you just ignore it and pretend you dont feel anything about it
I remember Chloe. She wouldn't have raged like this. This is so interesting to see DissociaDID's development from intensely sweet and worried about offending anybody to her setting boundaries and raging. I'm here for all of it.
There is something very wholesome about the fact that Mara is a scary-looking persecutor and yet the others in the system will fight so hard on her behalf, to protect her and her right to heal and live an authentic life 🖤
because they are loving family. You may be mad at your sister/brother becayse they eat your cake or prank you, you can be furious because your child just broke your Ming vase, but if anythihg dangerous happens - you WILL protect them. Cause that is what healthy family do. At least this is my perception of DID systems in general and Disociadid in specific :P i know that what persecutors sometimes do is not 'i ate your cake' but on the other hand - most families dont share the same body :)
as a SA trauma survivior myself, exploring sexuality is a complex and difficult thing to do. especially combinied with the guilt, self hatred, overthinking, disgust or even just simply the pain of feeling yourself. sexuality isn't something perverse, and people shaming it online, saying that SA victims aren't allowed to have feeling sensual as a healing progress is insane to me. sexuality is something that SHOULD be normal, should be safe, should be fun, should be healthy. and we are all in this together to keep fighting to make if a safe space without shame (especially for women) everyday. shaming this is dangerous and reveals alot about someones mindset. there is nothing wrong for someone to find power and confidence within themselves by dressing up and having fun with a tiktok. get a grip people. Mara has been through alot. and her videos help me. i see myself in her problems and it makes me feel more normal and it makes me feel like its worth fighting and reclaiming your own power.
Honestly thanks, it is truly hard to simply exist as a normal sexual human being after something like that happens. I have experienced it myself too, and I feel as if you took my words out of my mind.
This might seem a bit random, but maybe try saying AFAB (assigned female at birth) to be more inclusive because not all women are.. women, ya know? 😅 Hope that makes sense, and if you don't want to consider, you don't have to ofc ❤️
Seeing Jade's rage come through along with Kya's was a little terrifying. The way you address issues and stand up for others is incredible, and it's amazing to see how you stand up for others who have been through trauma.
Very valid arguments. The terms CSA/p*dophilia are so watered down and thrown around so often nowadays that people don't even understand what they're saying. It's so inappropriate and disrespectful to compare CSA to something like this.
Hypersextuality is a common consequence of SA. It’s no one’s business how people deal with their sexual trauma. Or any trauma for that matter! These people are disgusting and I’m so sorry you have to deal with them. I would have like to be able to stand like that in front of the people that didn’t believe me. Take care, we love you so much and thank you so much for everything you are doing!
"There's nothing shameful about being sexy, there's nothing shameful about being sensual" I personally have never experienced physical sexual harassment, but I do often feel like my body isn't mine. You guys saying this, felt like a warm hug. Thank you guys for being a safe space, not only for Systems, but for people without DID as well. Sending love and luck ❤
Exactly to the point: those people are mad because they can't objectify you now that you're showing that you own your sexuality. Misogyny 101. You took their power away and it made them angry. They're trying to shame you, while the only shameful thing is their own behaviour. I'm glad you took a stand and addressed this. Hope you're feeling okay ❤
I know this may sound weird but, I love that they(including the alters who were present and more than likely weren't present) became angry, more specifically, around the "child abuse alligations" around their TikTok and that they were uncensored in this video - they normally censor any swearing. Bravo to you all for standing up for yourself and putting your foot down and as always, you worded everything incredibly.
Yeah seriously. There's always this fear, when you're perceived as a woman, that you won't be taken seriously if you get visibly mad, but men get to be taken seriously when they're mad, why shouldn't we!! I really appreciate the anger and the uncensored swearing. You worded things wonderfully!
I am so proud of how passionate and angry Kya became when they stood up for the system in this video. Some people live their entire lives without ever understanding that sexuality isn’t bad, dangerous, or the like. I’m so happy that you’re protecting that truth with such fire in your eyes.
Definitely not just kya. I'm pretty sure I saw a lot of jade at one point and I guess mara must have played a big part too. It would make sense she's angry.
@@alystairmabloch401 same here, I sensed a bit of Jade into the mix. We love a protective mama 🤧 as for Mara, I saw a bit of her in Kyas eyes. I appreciate that they decided to address this because it's ridiculous that people are shamed for what happened to them yet there's no backlash on who did it to them. I truly love this system because they stand up for people who feel they don't have a voice.
@@reign_sw4g176 I happen to be on the Reddit and see what's being posted at the moment. It's ridiculous. I don't understand why people spend time and energy talking about people they dislike instead of just scrolling past. I need to leave that sub actually. It's becoming toxic and it's not why I originally joined! Whatever Kya and the system does will always scrutinised and picked apart. They can't win with those people and I think not wanting to hear about it is the best call.
"Be the bigger person" is gaslighting for survivors to shut us up I've been realizing. I'm shaking (good shaking) watching this, your power is so inspiring. Thank you so much for standing in your power and showing that healing can look all sorts of different ways. We're so proud of you all
I recently have gone through a traumatic experience that left me afraid to even look in the mirror. It was very difficult to be able to feel sexy, to be able to feel attractive, etc without feeling disgusted with myself. This video and this comment section really made me feel less alone. I'm starting to get back out there, I certainly can't view myself as I did before, but I am wearing more attractive clothing again, so I'm beginning to take steps in the direction of taking my sexuality back. But it's nice all the same to hear that I'm not alone. I believe everyone owns the right to express themselves however they choose to, and it has no say on your character if you like to express your sexuality in a safe way.
I know what looks good on me, what makes me look good, and that’s what I like to wear. And I’m ace, always have been. Glad you have been able to start to disconnect what you choose to wear from how others choose to act. Nothing wrong with you.
I hope you can notice how much healing you've done to be able to speak about some of your past traumas now. That is no small thing, and I am so proud of you all.
i can only imagine just how hard this video was to make but also just how empowering it must have been to finally tell these people off on how absolutely horrific they have been
As a CSA survivor it was difficult to open up to my partner, he still doesn't know what happened but he is aware that when I say I'm not comfortable doing something or to continue doing something even if it isn't sexual we stop. I thank my lucky stars every day that he is a respectful man and he listens. These videos are so helpful bringing things to light and making a voice. Thank you DisassociaDID
Being a collective with two sexual alters we really appreciated this video. Particularly the parts that touched on how it’s ok to be sexy and sensual. We still struggle quite a lot with being fully comfortable in our body which is compounded by all of us identifying under the non-binary umbrella. Also I agree, there comes a point where staying silent and being the bigger person as it were no longer works. We can tell this video must have been difficult to film so we hope you’re all doing ok. The fact people actually have the audacity to compare Mara’s TikToks to csa is insane and it made one of us physically recoil. Thank you again.
Just wanted to let you guys know, that this video, as well as your recent live, inspired me to reevaluate my relationship with one of my persecutors and now she has her voice back and I started my healing journey by speaking up about the abuse I went through (and she holds as memory). Don't stop whatever you are doing. You are very strong and inspirational and we would like to pass on the message to our platforms as well.
This is such a POWERFUL message. You all kicked so much ass with this video, and I'm just awestruck. You never have to be silent because it might make someone uncomfortable. Call them out. You all do you all for yourselves. I'm so proud of you all. You're all doing amazing. You can all live your lives and be yourselves without anyone having to give your permission, just like ANYONE FUCKING ELSE. Love you ALL!
But, if they succeeded in making HER uncomfortable, (as this video clearly demonstrates at multiple points) then is it really a victory? They ultimately ended up getting what they wanted.
Your passion in this was frighteningly powerful and so on the mark. Everyone has the right to exist on the internet in whatever capacity they choose, and that includes you. This community that you've built through the DissociaDID project will never stop fighting for you, either.
what Mara is doing is actually so admirable, we could never, so we glad you do it. We also nearly cried at the second "it's not your fault." Thank you. thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you all so damn much for what you said from 13:35 to 14:35. We aren't there with our own healing yet but wow. We're going to keep that saved to remind ourselves that we deserve to feel safe and in control of how we feel about our sexual selves. That it can be safe. That it's ours. That it can be for us. That it isn't shameful. Thank all of you also for what you said around 28:40. We felt like you were the adult we needed to stand up for us against the people that harmed us. Like we were a kid being held behind you and protected while you safely told them how dare they do such things and minimize what happens. Thank you for reminding us that it's not our fault.
This made us really emotional. Im so glad we can be that for you. It wasn't your fault and we believe in you. You'll get there and you deserve to get there ❤️
I’m pretty sure the rage of Ruby, the protectiveness of Jade, and every emotion ever of Kya just absolutely exploded when talking about CSA. That was amazing and I’m so proud of you all for what you have done and how you are handling everything. You’re all incredible people and we love and support you through it all ❤
I am so angry people would ever compare a tiktok video to CSA. I’m just on the path to diagnosis for OSDD and my sexual protector was screaming about this. Thank you for standing up for yourself and for other survivors. ❤
It's admirable that your system withstood so much hideousness from others and are still taking the time to educate and share your perspective. It is both shocking and inspiring to us.
The INTENSITY of their voice and words just sends chills down my spine. I cant even begin to express the love and respect I hold for this system. Insane work and Im just so proud of them!
You are so correct about “sexualised content” is only a big issue when it is consensual. It is revolting how people are treated. Got through the rest too now and wow you all just didn’t miss even once. Honestly thank you. I will absolutely share this video with others thank you for your message
What you said about being able to have no shame about feeling and being sexy just because you want to. That was so powerful. I never post comments on videos, but I wanted to let you know how much that resonated with me and inspired me to heal my own trauma in a similar way. Thank you 🙏🏻❤️
We are 32 as a body and we only just had a connection with someone, who felt SAFE. it was so beautiful. We were respected. Safe and not having to switch out. We hope you all get to feel that. We love you all ❤️
I didnt even have any clue this was happening and i still feel like im being scolded! Genuine congratulations for standing up for yourself so firmly. You are incredible and the things that have happened/are happening to you are horrid. Hopefully this will get people to start backing off.
I was 4. 4 years old. Unfortunately, I still remember it and the other times it happened. I wish I didnt. I want to thank you for this message. Just because we have been through horrific things, doesn't mean we cannot be comfortable with ourselves for the first time in a very long time. I appreciate you so much. You deserve to be happy, loved, understood, accepted for everything you are. You are such a lovely, sweet young person. I am still trying to heal.
I can't imagine how scared you were when it happened to you. I was 14 when it happened to me and he was in his 60s. Then had more incidents following that, including a recent incident earlier this year from an ex roommate.. It's horrific how people compare a simple suggestive but innocent tiktok to CSA and even more disgusting that victims are shamed for it yet the abuser doesn't receive backlash. Why? Because it's "our fault"? No, it was never our fault. I'm glad you're on the path of healing, it's not that easy but I'm sure we'll all make it there. Much love to you sweetheart 💙
@@reign_sw4g176 I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm sorry for anyone who goes through anything like that. It's never your fault. Ever. Love you all.
As a system who has gone through CSA and has a sexual alter who likes to be sexual at times, I'm glad that someone who has a voice has spoken out about this. Thank you so much. You guys have always made me feel better about having DID and about the trama that I have gone through. Mara is such and inspiration to Ellie in my system. Mara shows that it is okay to look good and just have it be for herself, which is what Ellie in my system needs to see sometimes. So thank you guys again. Much love to you all. 💕
I love the bluntness, I love confidence, it's like everything Chloe wanted to say in the past but was to scared too, I miss Chloe, Nina, Nin and Kyle but Kya is what they all needed ❤️❤️
Ive never seen such obnoxious backlash over basic normal videos. Those "thirstraps" are everywhere online. Those people are obviously just taking things out on you for their own misguided and selfish reasons. I hope you can feel better after speaking your truth, and can continue living a normal life posting those completely normal things. Those people are not worth your time after this, you've spoken extremely well on it.
I saw one person comment that Mara's spooky makeup and overall appearance supposedly contributes to stigma, especially towards persecutors ... but isn't it common for persecutors to look somewhat intimidating?
Thank you so much, to everyone in the DissociaDID system for making this video. You are so strong, and I cannot tell you how much it meant to hear how you all keep fighting, for those suffering and recovering from their trauma. And as a survivor from CSA and severe bullying as well, thank you especially for standing up for our rights to our sensuality and fun in our bodies in safe places/ways. Because yes, we do like to express ourselves as a means to recover, we do suffer flashbacks, dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and feeling overall yucky in our own skin sometimes. And that does NOT invalidate us from also wanting to reclaim the sensual side of ourselves for our own safe use. In tears right now, thank you, just thank you.
Hey don’t group all straight men in the same damn group. This is a problem that exists no matter your sexuality. Certain people will be fucking creeps about sex but that doesn’t mean that all straight men are.
A song that really fits this its my body and i can be flirty and its not shameful to be that way is a song by chinchilla called know no. A line from that song fits really well is "i could be naked in your bed, still entitled to decline" such a powerful line! Thank you for this video.
I really love the way you can be strict with your boundaries and even get really angry in such a healthy and protective way which is 0% sadistic. You set an amazing example and say so many things that are ON POINT that this would be a full novel instead of a comment if I listed them all here. Thank you for everything you do! Much love
I don't have DID but I am a survivor of sexual trauma from childhood and teen years. You speaking about this is so fucking important. People are disgusting, truly. It is SO important for trauma holders to recognize that it is NOT your fault. Some never get there in their lifetime. And those who are fighting every day to absolve themselves of someone else's wrong doings, have to see this kind of shit from people is horrific. I'm so glad mara has a place to be herself. I'm so glad that you are focused on your healing because beyond anything THAT is the most important. You safety, health and well being are very important to this community you've made and too all of us who you fight for everyday. Those of us who have sever trauma and even little trauma. Trauma is trauma. It all hurts the same, it all silences us the same. I appreciate the good of your channel and the championship you have taken upon yourselves to help us fight. To give us coping skills, to tell us we aren't alone. Trauma makes you feel so alone. And as a woman I am thankful that you are coming to your systems defense AND our defense for those of us who have suffered sexual trauma. So thank you to kya and the dissociadid system I will be forever thankful for your efforts and love.
Although I have never personally experience this trauma. This video made me feel like it’s okay to stand up for yourself and set boundaries. And it’s okay to have done it before. Not only is it okay but it’s necessary and brave. Thank you for this. It helped me in more ways than one
I have to thank you for directly saying "it's not your fault". I'm only 21 and when I was 15 to 16 I was sexually and emotionally abused by my first partner. I chalked everything up to it being because I was too young to know what I was doing, it being my first relationship and that the red flags I was supposed to know I ignored. Hearing you guys, the Dissociadid system, talk about how a body is nothing to be ashamed of for using it the way you want is so inexplicably powering for someone like me who's self image and esteem was torn down piece by piece from one person. I've never been able to fully express the pure rage I feel when describing how my appearance and body were weaponized against me and that because I was feminine presenting, I was always at fault no matter what I did. Thank you for putting it so powerfully and in a way that millions of people, and women like me, can empathize with. Thank you.
Im so grateful for this. I love that you guys were angry and unafraid to be loud or take up space. I cannot get truly upset or express when I'm feeling rage without bawling and hyperventilating. It makes me feel infantile and regressive that I must either cry or sit in silence. I don't know how to take up space and be unashamed of expressing myself, so I admire your guy's ability to to be angry, scathing, and sophisticated.
So many times during this video I wanted to jump up and give you a standing ovation! I can't believe how incredibly strong, direct, and well spoken you are while talking about such incredibly upsetting content and harassment! Everything you said is so spot on and I am behind you 100%. I hope you continue to do everything and anything that makes you all happy. Let the haters continue to cry in their little pathetic corners. Sending love!
This video is SO important. Kya, Jade, Mara, Ruby and anyone else present during this video, THANK YOU. Mara deserves to heal, you all deserve to heal. Everyone deserves to heal. It is disgusting that they have demeaned CSA by comparing Mara’s tiktok to it. It’s unbelievable. I enjoy Kya&Co’s content, and I enjoy Mara’s content. Keep posting, keep healing - I know it’s difficult to block all of this out, but just know that they couldn’t be further from the truth❤
19:33 The amount of happiness I felt. It's hard to have a s. protector, and hearing that it is normal and okay..It makes me deeply happy. Thank you. 💙 I'll make sure to show them this video. Take care💙
i havent visited your channel in a while- ive been following you for years and check up every now and then, especially with the shitstorm of 2020(?). i just had to point out what an incredible change ive seen in your growth. youre so strong for a million reasons, but the jade-like way you clearly establish your boundaries and stand up for/protect your system is just amazing to see. the minute you read that first comment i couldnt help but smile!! “sorry, did i ask?” GIRL you fuckin tell em ! this “blend of altars” (like its a coffee blend lmao) is exquisite
As a survivor of CSA this means so much to me and my system (literally in tears). We can not explain how liberating and empowering to hear someone speaking up on such a topic. Sending lots of love and support, System Unknown
The advice to go private is so terrible because if you WERE to make that account private, you could be accused of hiding the content. And if a minor is found to be following a privated account that no one can verify what is being posted on it is just putting you in a position to look bad. You cannot possibly monitor a public social media to the point you can insure no minor comes into contact with it. The most someone can do is put a warning and make it known they are not welcome here. You cannot control other peoples reactions and are not responsible if someone ignores those warnings.
I didn't realize the TikTok TOS said that you can only make TikToks for healing/therapeutic purposes! How dare she use it to have fun, engage with the internet, or be a human being doing whatever tf they want! The horror.
You guys have been through so much since the time I've started watching y'all's channel. I don't understand why people want to hurt someone who's been hurt so much before. I'm very sorry that we have a society like this, to the point where we can't even be ourselves without getting bashed on. I hope that y'all can continue fighting through this and stay strong, because the world needs strong people like you guys. ❤️
You can only "be the bigger person" for so long, and then it just becomes getting walked on or otherwise treated like sh*t. Good for you, expressing yourselves and speaking out!! Like so many have said, I am so proud of you.
Hello Kya! I've been a viewer of the Dissociadid channel for a long time now, and all of you guys helped me to understand myself a lot, when it comes to topics of trauma, anxiety and depression. Although I don't have DID, your content deeply resonnates with me and is a stepping stone for my own healing journey. After watching the last video posted on the channel, I debated for a long time whether or not to send you this letter because I have no idea how it will be received. But considering all the things you indirectly helped me with, I felt like it was right to give you a little bit of support. So here I go: I absolutely love your videos and I hope you continue making them. I created a tik tok account to check out what Mara was doing and I have to say that I am ashamed of the people who would look at that and accusing her of abusing children. This is vile, this is gross, this is bullying a creator out of envy and sadism. Mara did absolutely nothing wrong, you did absolutely nothing wrong, and I am so sorry for the behaviour some of the other viewers are exhibiting on the internet. I'm sending you love and strenght and I want to tell you that there is a lot of people on your side who you are helping, a lot. Keep on shining, you deserve it. xoxo.
This is so powerful. I am so proud of them for sticking up for what is right. That stare gave me chills, I could see Jade in it. When they say that it was in no way you fault, I started crying if I'm being entirely honest.
You have worded this so strongly and your advocacy for yourself and other people is such a great example for others. You are so resilient and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come and the healing and education you’ve been really brave to share. Bravo. You have every shred of my respect and support.
Throughout this whole video I was like “PERIODT KING!!! FREAKING GO OFF ON THEM!!! SLAYYYY 💅💅💅” Freaking loved this video as a SA survivor and now protector for others
I'm so proud of you for taking back your voice. That boundary of not interacting with those toxic people and spaces really is so important, but sometimes just setting things straight can have so much power. Great job finding that balance here.
Oh gosh, this doesn't look very good. I thank you for educating us viewers about issues going on that we may not see for ourselves. Hope you all are okay and this issue comes to an end ASAP, whatever it may be!
I’ve been watching since before Chloe and Nina fused and seeing how much the system has survived and grown through is so unbelievably tragic and yet so beautiful and inspiring. I don’t think the system back then would have ever thought they’d be strong enough to fight back against their bullies and speak out for justice. All so fearlessly defending yourselves and the others in your systems against any adversity. Thank you all for continuing to be so brave and share your experiences and educate us (I found the channel doing research on DID for a school project) about such a complex disorder. As a fellow survivor of CSA it’s so important to share how hard it is to reclaim your own sexuality and feel comfortable in it. It’s a huge part of feeling really at home in your body and it is an insanely hard journey. You don’t have to justify yourselves to anyone. You are the only ones who have walked your path and you are the only ones who can know what you need to heal. Sending all the love and good vibes your way. Cheers lovelies x
I'm not neurodivergent and I've watched you for years now just because I genuinely enjoy you as a person and think you're very interesting and lovely! I can't imagine why anyone would wish ill of you. I also was so unaware (albeit I'm clearly late to this video) about what you said around 13:00. So very sad. Wishing you all the best. ❤
Goodness...can I just say how spectacular you are? I don't know if this was off the cuff or written, but either way, it is SO clear and decisive. It seems like you are in a much more healthy and confident place right now to be able to be this open, yet also this assertive toward those who are against you. Way to go! Also...I just adore Jade. First time I remember seeing her is the one where she said that she'd protect the littles, and she was front and center when speaking toward the end. If we were face to face, and I was even remotely in the place where she was mad at me, I would wither at her gaze. All y'all are awesome, but because Jade doesn't get as much "face time" as others, I just wanted to call her out and let her know that she is amazing and her efforts are seen.
I was gonna say something similar about Jade. They said they were pretty blendy throughout the video, and though I don't think either of them fully fronted, I felt Jade and Ruby near the end, loud and clear. The righteous and protective fury of those two (along with Mara and Kya, I'm sure) could shake mountains and boil seas, and I felt it tangibly as I watched this video. I have so much respect for the protectors in not just this system, but every DID (and similar situations) systems.
Thank you! And we susprised ourselves with this, we just sat down and pressed record and talked almost completely non stop for 40 minutes. I've never felt such swift and smooth communication and passing over between us. There were at least 5 of us in different parts of the video.
@@DissociaDID So Proud of you. I am a pretty big dude and I have a female friend with DID they have a couple that I have seen really chewing people out. They scared me just like part of this video did. Very well done. I don't know anything about the stuff this stemmed from but what an amazing response!!
@@DissociaDID I count it as a priviledge to be able to see it. There were times that I could tell that someone else was up front, but identifying that wasn't as important to me as hearing what y'all (best thing to come out of living in the southern US is the natural use of 'y'all' 😁) were saying. I think I appreciate Jade so much because, from what I've seen, she tends to stay in the back? I LOVE people like that, who aren't in the spotlight, but support those who are. And it also seems she comes up front when kids/littles are involved, and potentially threatened or harmed? That will get my attention more than anything else as well, so seeing her outward reaction of my inner reaction...like I said, I just adore her. I hope that I've encouraged her and I am thankful for the times that she's revealed herself a little.
@@dwell7315 You're right, now that you mention it, it did seem like a Ruby/Jade tag team near the end. It's Jade's gaze/glare that always makes me do the DiCaprio point/snap "There she is!" thing in my head. What a couple of warriors!
The fact that we have to live in a world with this makes me so mad. My spite is through the roof right now and thats what ultimately got me out of depression from my trauma. Thank you for documenting this, csa survivors deserve to be respected and noticed. Sending lots of strength!
I'm so proud of you (collective). You shouldn't have to go through this, but you spoke words in a way I never thought I'd be able to put together and for that you have my thanks. ❤️
As a DID system, we understand and support this on so many levels. It’s so important to be able to stand up for ourselves, and empower ourselves in safe ways. It is so unfortunate and frustrating how misunderstood those of us with DID truly are. Thank you for continuing to speak out and fight back in constructive ways.❤
I simply wanted to thank you for this project of yours. My daughter has a dissociative disorder, not dissociative identity disorder, and has used some of your tools to help herself. Thanks to your channel, she has better coping mechanisms in place. She and I have also had frank discussions about attempts each of us made to end ourselves because of the honesty of your system. Thank you for what you do.
I struggle with accepting sexuality after SA as well. There are so many emotions that go into learning who you are, including the sexual side of yourself, and the last thing anyone needs is hateful people on the internet policing them. I am so grateful for your system, you guys feel like a safe older sibling and I love it ❤
As a singlet with some non physical sexual trauma (online) from when I was a younger teenager, you make me feel so safe and I’m so happy you are spreading awareness about quite literally everything you’ve said in this video. I’m proud of all of you in these comments and I hope the best for everyone 💗
23:56 “without using…your fucking brain” 🤣 deceased. Even on the rewatch. You’re a genuinely funny person and so much more than your struggles. More of this please, more of your authentic self ❤
I felt chastised and this video wasn't even directed at me, gosh damn. This is such a strong video. You've all come so far. Thank you for making this video. I am here for this strength and power and confidence.
I find it extremely unfair that you have gone through such trauma online that it caused a new split to emerge. Im sorry to hear that you have had such a tragic experience throughout your life that feels like from the minute you were born up to even now. I sometimes forget that just because your an adult and fully independent that you can still experience intense trauma.
i’m so sorry but “an onlyfans for someone licking their fangs?” absolutely sent me because you know somewhere out there that exact account exists, i had to press pause to type this and laugh for a second… idk how i missed this vid when it was originally posted, but i’m proud of you for not standing for this bs, don’t let these idiots silence you anymore, you hold so much power and your voice can travel far further than theirs ever will!
it is so hard to feel sexy in our body. we appreciate so much the validating words you share. it is so hard to feel safe and comfortable, let alone even using social media the way other people do. thank you so much for sharing your experience with this. it takes so much strength. thank you for being so brave. really, thank you.
As someone with PTSD from child sexual abuse and trauma, I one million percent understand reclaiming your own sexuality is absolutely healing!! It directly is. When others took my body for their own use, I grew up feeling tainted and that my body want my own. Going on a journey to allow myself to be sensual in my own way and *reclaiming!!* my body again was an amazing and difficult journey. Proud of Mara and so sorry for all you've been through. Thank you for validating people like me, you all are amazing ❤
Extra notes:
Some people have assumed that because we mention a long history of SA and CSA, that our most recent relationship must have also been sexually abusive.
I can understand why people might have assumed this, but we need to firmly clarify that this is not true. That relationship was a rare and brief exception to an extensive abuse history. Because of this, it never came to mind when talking about abuse in this video. We have been SA'd again since the relationship ended.
The specifics of our abuse and the people involved is not something we ever intend to share or allude to. We know it's natural to draw assumptions, so we do ask you to please keep this in mind in order to avoid accidentally jumping to conclusions about our abuse history when you watch our videos.
Also we want to thank everyone who has left such incredible supportive comments! ❤️
@@DissociaDID Really thank you for showing that consent can be withdrawn when needed, it’s a good reminder for me.
Had someone cross our boundaries so many times even when we said no was terrifying. Traumatised after :/
Regardless, we’re trying to live our life and thrive when we can. Thank you for your videos, seriously, especially Mara’s video. Her presence just makes me feel calm haha :p
Anyway, thanks again! Please take care
Love you guys, thank you for putting out this video. Obviously it covered a lot of things going on with you guys currently but even just you guys speaking and being open was very powerful thank you ❤️❤️ Sending support
@@Jesse_2302 I'm so sorry you experienced that. ❤️ Sending love and support
Thank you for clarifying when it comes to that past relationship. I hope my comment (if it's mine you're addressing here) before didn't come across as an assumption or accusatory. It was more of a concern and curiosity. I'm just glad that you're taking care and standing up for yourself now. You're really strong and we all care about you deeply!
The privacy thing reminds me of how some people say, "Why are women okay with marching around in revealing bikinis, but they get upset when we want to see them in their underwear!?" CONSENT! We do not consent to you seeing us in what we deem a private moment. When we go out in revealing clothes, we THEN consent to being seen in such a way (still not a good excuse to sexualize someone and openly attack them for wearing clothes they're comfortable in)
You do have the right to mind your own business
"there is nothing shameful about existing in a body that other people found attractive" i was enlightened
The people who sexually objectify others and then try to shame the victims are simply evil.
@@philopharynx7910 Agreed.
As a victim of childhood sexual abuse myself, this was a lesson that took me years to learn. It's hard to explain this concept to anyone when they haven't had someone take advantage of a body and a mind that wasn't developed.
Do not let anyone, especially people on the internet, take that discovery from you. It is a great step forward towards healing. It took me finding a partner who accepts and it pacient with me to even get close to that place.
This is how I've felt most of my growing up life! As someone who is not a victim of CSA, but had a scary, scarring experience of a sexual nature as an young adult, I did think it was because of my looks/body.
There is something about me that has always attracted the creepiest of people, and I thought there was something wrong with me or that I was somehow seeking that kind of attention. Otherwise, why would those disgusting creeps keep advancing or coming for me? In my tween/teen years, I often wished that I could be considered ugly in the eyes of men, so that pervs wouldn't be so drawn to me.
It's taken me years to finally feel comfortable with my own sexuality, especially after my first non-consensual sexual encounter. What happened to me was NOT my fault, I did NOT ask for it by looking at a person a certain way, or by "simply being beautiful," as one creep put it to me. And there is NOTHING WRONG about feeling sexually aroused and consenting to what you want to do about those feelings, either taking them further or stopping there. My body is MINE, what I want to do with it is MY right, within MY control, for MY pleasure, REGARDLESS of what I look like to other people. I do NOT need to apologize, feel embarrassed, or be ashamed about my body being attractive.
Thank you, DissociaDID, for making that abundantly clear. And thank you, Zuzanna Kuklinska, for highlighting this; even now, I still need gentle reminders to tell me that there's no shame in being/feeling beautiful.
Enlightened? It's basic logic.
If you have fun while being attractive, people get mad at you
If you have fun while being “unattractive” people get mad at you
There’s no winning
Even if you have no fun people get mad at you lol...literally someone out there will complain about EVERY single thing...the most wholesome pure good content has people complaining somewhere in the comments smh
If haters start to violate your personal boundaries and you have the opportunity to put them in their place, putting them in their place is a victory.
huft.. humanss.. 😂
conclution, there is always somebody complaining, what matter though is if its the same people complaining, because then they are hypocritical otherwise its just a unfortunate coinsidence.
I am ur 900th like
“Consent can be withdrawn at any time.”
It’s as simple as that.
A line from a recent song by the female artist chinchilla is I can naked in your bed still entitled to decline. The song is know no. It's about boundaries and people accepting the no they're given when it is given
@@jessicalingo4346Why are you in the bed in the first place, gas lighter?
@@dightonazpeitia4350 could be that a person who has previously been abused in bed is trying to do exposure therapy so their in bed with someone they trust. The more it continues they feel less and less comfortable and say no. That person (or anyone) can say no at any point in a situation.
@@jessicalingo4346 So, they are drawing in a person who never consented to be a part of their "sexual therapy" by luring them into bed? They say no, and bam, THEY are the victim all of a sudden.
I see a lot of shifting goal posts here lol. It’s not ok to exploit others for your own therapeutic needs, just as it is not ok to keep going thru with something when someone has already said no.
There are boundaries to be respected on BOTH SIDES here.
'We are allowed to exist in a body that other people find attractive' This was so powerful.
Yeah right.
'keeping quiet' and 'being the bigger person' usually only serves the abuser - good on you for being vocal about it
Agreed. I think "being the bigger person" only applies to children. And even there only in some situations. If someone hurts you, you are allowed to speak up. And there is nothing wrong with that.
God thank you yes, seriously it’s hard to find people who think this way so this is refreshing.
@@lilabrat ❤️
i take being the bigger person to not mean you dont tell anyone about it just that you dont lash out about it. as if it is a situation that you have to "be the bigger person" that means that it shouldnt be ok under social norms and needs correction, not that you just ignore it and pretend you dont feel anything about it
Yeah that’s how the church gets away with so much- mandatory forgiveness
I remember Chloe. She wouldn't have raged like this. This is so interesting to see DissociaDID's development from intensely sweet and worried about offending anybody to her setting boundaries and raging. I'm here for all of it.
This!!!
She's come a long way!💕💕🎉🎉
I think i saw Jade at some point ;)
@@beheroot..."HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!" (Queen Jade 👑)
i wouldn’t call it raging. but the more solemn and assertive delivery may also have something to do with Jades proximity to the front
*”there is nothing dangerous or wrong about how we use our body”*
point blank. period.
"It was not your fault!" and now I am sobbing at 4 in the morning clutching that sentence to my chest.
Me too. Thank you. ❤
There is something very wholesome about the fact that Mara is a scary-looking persecutor and yet the others in the system will fight so hard on her behalf, to protect her and her right to heal and live an authentic life 🖤
100% Agree 🧚♂️
Yes i said something similar. I lovr how they have helped her become who she wants to be and hopefully it can help her process some stuff
because they are loving family. You may be mad at your sister/brother becayse they eat your cake or prank you, you can be furious because your child just broke your Ming vase, but if anythihg dangerous happens - you WILL protect them. Cause that is what healthy family do. At least this is my perception of DID systems in general and Disociadid in specific :P i know that what persecutors sometimes do is not 'i ate your cake' but on the other hand - most families dont share the same body :)
This. Omg.
as a SA trauma survivior myself, exploring sexuality is a complex and difficult thing to do. especially combinied with the guilt, self hatred, overthinking, disgust or even just simply the pain of feeling yourself.
sexuality isn't something perverse, and people shaming it online, saying that SA victims aren't allowed to have feeling sensual as a healing progress is insane to me. sexuality is something that SHOULD be normal, should be safe, should be fun, should be healthy. and we are all in this together to keep fighting to make if a safe space without shame (especially for women) everyday.
shaming this is dangerous and reveals alot about someones mindset. there is nothing wrong for someone to find power and confidence within themselves by dressing up and having fun with a tiktok. get a grip people.
Mara has been through alot. and her videos help me. i see myself in her problems and it makes me feel more normal and it makes me feel like its worth fighting and reclaiming your own power.
Honestly thanks, it is truly hard to simply exist as a normal sexual human being after something like that happens. I have experienced it myself too, and I feel as if you took my words out of my mind.
sorry that happened to u, ur so strong!
Wonderful comment ❤❤ sending love
This might seem a bit random, but maybe try saying AFAB (assigned female at birth) to be more inclusive because not all women are.. women, ya know? 😅 Hope that makes sense, and if you don't want to consider, you don't have to ofc ❤️
@@earthariss why would they say AFAB people if they're speaking of women. AFAB nonbinary people and trans men aren't women lite...
Seeing Jade's rage come through along with Kya's was a little terrifying.
The way you address issues and stand up for others is incredible, and it's amazing to see how you stand up for others who have been through trauma.
i know right? it's the eyes for me. the jade eyes come out and you know shit's going down.
Exactly what I thought! The eyes! It’s impressive. So brave to stand up for herself and others❤️✨
Ikr I heard the tone in her voice and I immediately knew it was Jade
Terrifying is good in this situation. Good for Jade.
I am so proud of them for finally standing up for themselves!
Very valid arguments. The terms CSA/p*dophilia are so watered down and thrown around so often nowadays that people don't even understand what they're saying. It's so inappropriate and disrespectful to compare CSA to something like this.
People think it's funny to just use the words without even knowing what it truly means, or what happened to people.
Hypersextuality is a common consequence of SA. It’s no one’s business how people deal with their sexual trauma. Or any trauma for that matter! These people are disgusting and I’m so sorry you have to deal with them. I would have like to be able to stand like that in front of the people that didn’t believe me. Take care, we love you so much and thank you so much for everything you are doing!
Big same, dealt with that as a trauma response since I was a child
People need to learn not to shame people and look themselves in the mirror.
Hope you guys didnt have a hard time making this video as it looks like it may be a triggering video. Love you guys sending warm hugs and good vibes.
They are strong
@@feliciabuchanan9803 i would definetly have to agree with you on that
Obviously it was hard but that's why they did it. To address what needs to be addressed.
Are you worried for them or for you? Either is ok, but don't project.
"There's nothing shameful about being sexy, there's nothing shameful about being sensual"
I personally have never experienced physical sexual harassment, but I do often feel like my body isn't mine. You guys saying this, felt like a warm hug. Thank you guys for being a safe space, not only for Systems, but for people without DID as well. Sending love and luck ❤
100% agree with this
@@shelley5449If you give others this kind of power over you, but think that the issue is all theirs, then you haven’t done enough personal work.
I love how this is uncensored. This is exactly what people need to hear.
Demonetized lol
Exactly to the point: those people are mad because they can't objectify you now that you're showing that you own your sexuality. Misogyny 101. You took their power away and it made them angry. They're trying to shame you, while the only shameful thing is their own behaviour. I'm glad you took a stand and addressed this. Hope you're feeling okay ❤
OMG EXACTLY
+
But if you are responding at all with this kind of anger, did you really win? 🤨
@@dightonazpeitia4350They are setting boundaries that shouldn't have to be set. They are asking for basic human respect.
@@Womp_Womp307 that’s one person
I know this may sound weird but, I love that they(including the alters who were present and more than likely weren't present) became angry, more specifically, around the "child abuse alligations" around their TikTok and that they were uncensored in this video - they normally censor any swearing. Bravo to you all for standing up for yourself and putting your foot down and as always, you worded everything incredibly.
Yeah seriously. There's always this fear, when you're perceived as a woman, that you won't be taken seriously if you get visibly mad, but men get to be taken seriously when they're mad, why shouldn't we!! I really appreciate the anger and the uncensored swearing. You worded things wonderfully!
I am so proud of how passionate and angry Kya became when they stood up for the system in this video. Some people live their entire lives without ever understanding that sexuality isn’t bad, dangerous, or the like. I’m so happy that you’re protecting that truth with such fire in your eyes.
I stan the passion. Much respect.
Definitely not just kya. I'm pretty sure I saw a lot of jade at one point and I guess mara must have played a big part too. It would make sense she's angry.
@@alystairmabloch401 same here, I sensed a bit of Jade into the mix. We love a protective mama 🤧 as for Mara, I saw a bit of her in Kyas eyes. I appreciate that they decided to address this because it's ridiculous that people are shamed for what happened to them yet there's no backlash on who did it to them. I truly love this system because they stand up for people who feel they don't have a voice.
@@reign_sw4g176 I happen to be on the Reddit and see what's being posted at the moment. It's ridiculous. I don't understand why people spend time and energy talking about people they dislike instead of just scrolling past. I need to leave that sub actually. It's becoming toxic and it's not why I originally joined!
Whatever Kya and the system does will always scrutinised and picked apart. They can't win with those people and I think not wanting to hear about it is the best call.
@@alystairmabloch401 yes for sure! I should’ve addressed the members of the system that they mentioned were present in the intro.
‘It was not your fault. We will always fight for you’…
Thank you Kya. Thank you everyone.❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
"Be the bigger person" is gaslighting for survivors to shut us up I've been realizing. I'm shaking (good shaking) watching this, your power is so inspiring. Thank you so much for standing in your power and showing that healing can look all sorts of different ways. We're so proud of you all
I recently have gone through a traumatic experience that left me afraid to even look in the mirror. It was very difficult to be able to feel sexy, to be able to feel attractive, etc without feeling disgusted with myself. This video and this comment section really made me feel less alone. I'm starting to get back out there, I certainly can't view myself as I did before, but I am wearing more attractive clothing again, so I'm beginning to take steps in the direction of taking my sexuality back. But it's nice all the same to hear that I'm not alone. I believe everyone owns the right to express themselves however they choose to, and it has no say on your character if you like to express your sexuality in a safe way.
Proud of you!
I know what looks good on me, what makes me look good, and that’s what I like to wear. And I’m ace, always have been. Glad you have been able to start to disconnect what you choose to wear from how others choose to act. Nothing wrong with you.
@@DissociaDID thank you so much :) proud of you all as well!
I hope you can notice how much healing you've done to be able to speak about some of your past traumas now. That is no small thing, and I am so proud of you all.
Thank you so much ❤️
i can only imagine just how hard this video was to make but also just how empowering it must have been to finally tell these people off on how absolutely horrific they have been
As a CSA survivor it was difficult to open up to my partner, he still doesn't know what happened but he is aware that when I say I'm not comfortable doing something or to continue doing something even if it isn't sexual we stop. I thank my lucky stars every day that he is a respectful man and he listens.
These videos are so helpful bringing things to light and making a voice. Thank you DisassociaDID
Being a collective with two sexual alters we really appreciated this video. Particularly the parts that touched on how it’s ok to be sexy and sensual. We still struggle quite a lot with being fully comfortable in our body which is compounded by all of us identifying under the non-binary umbrella. Also I agree, there comes a point where staying silent and being the bigger person as it were no longer works. We can tell this video must have been difficult to film so we hope you’re all doing ok. The fact people actually have the audacity to compare Mara’s TikToks to csa is insane and it made one of us physically recoil. Thank you again.
Just wanted to let you guys know, that this video, as well as your recent live, inspired me to reevaluate my relationship with one of my persecutors and now she has her voice back and I started my healing journey by speaking up about the abuse I went through (and she holds as memory). Don't stop whatever you are doing. You are very strong and inspirational and we would like to pass on the message to our platforms as well.
That's amazing, proud of you ❤️❤️❤️
Alternate title: "Puritan Redditors feel a little hot under the collar for Mara, demand OnlyFans to relieve their thirst"
👏😂
@@SweetSeraph93Lol Don’t celebrate too much honey. They are a month away from getting their wish. LOL
im so sorry about all of this happening, sending you all so much love and support! i hope you’re doing okay, lots of virtual hugs being sent too !! ❤
This is such a POWERFUL message. You all kicked so much ass with this video, and I'm just awestruck. You never have to be silent because it might make someone uncomfortable. Call them out. You all do you all for yourselves. I'm so proud of you all. You're all doing amazing. You can all live your lives and be yourselves without anyone having to give your permission, just like ANYONE FUCKING ELSE. Love you ALL!
But, if they succeeded in making HER uncomfortable, (as this video clearly demonstrates at multiple points) then is it really a victory? They ultimately ended up getting what they wanted.
To anyone that was possibly triggered: please take a moment to ground and take time for yourselves.
Your passion in this was frighteningly powerful and so on the mark. Everyone has the right to exist on the internet in whatever capacity they choose, and that includes you. This community that you've built through the DissociaDID project will never stop fighting for you, either.
"how fucking dare you"
That hit me in my core. Thank you for being strong when others cannot be much love ❤️
what Mara is doing is actually so admirable, we could never, so we glad you do it. We also nearly cried at the second "it's not your fault." Thank you. thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you all so damn much for what you said from 13:35 to 14:35. We aren't there with our own healing yet but wow. We're going to keep that saved to remind ourselves that we deserve to feel safe and in control of how we feel about our sexual selves. That it can be safe. That it's ours. That it can be for us. That it isn't shameful.
Thank all of you also for what you said around 28:40. We felt like you were the adult we needed to stand up for us against the people that harmed us. Like we were a kid being held behind you and protected while you safely told them how dare they do such things and minimize what happens.
Thank you for reminding us that it's not our fault.
This made us really emotional. Im so glad we can be that for you. It wasn't your fault and we believe in you. You'll get there and you deserve to get there ❤️
I know it took a lot to even consider speaking on the sexual trauma, let alone formulate the words on camera. I’m so proud of you all.
I’m pretty sure the rage of Ruby, the protectiveness of Jade, and every emotion ever of Kya just absolutely exploded when talking about CSA. That was amazing and I’m so proud of you all for what you have done and how you are handling everything. You’re all incredible people and we love and support you through it all ❤
I'm blown away by how eloquently you are speaking. I'm sorry you have to go through that. You're doing absolutely amazing
I am so angry people would ever compare a tiktok video to CSA. I’m just on the path to diagnosis for OSDD and my sexual protector was screaming about this. Thank you for standing up for yourself and for other survivors. ❤
It's admirable that your system withstood so much hideousness from others and are still taking the time to educate and share your perspective. It is both shocking and inspiring to us.
The INTENSITY of their voice and words just sends chills down my spine.
I cant even begin to express the love and respect I hold for this system.
Insane work and Im just so proud of them!
I could hear SO MUCH of Ruby and Jade in this video. Good for you guys reclaiming, not only your body, but your LIFE. I love to see it.
“It is not your fault. It wasn’t your fault.” That made me cry. Thank you love 💚
You are so correct about “sexualised content” is only a big issue when it is consensual. It is revolting how people are treated. Got through the rest too now and wow you all just didn’t miss even once. Honestly thank you. I will absolutely share this video with others thank you for your message
What you said about being able to have no shame about feeling and being sexy just because you want to. That was so powerful. I never post comments on videos, but I wanted to let you know how much that resonated with me and inspired me to heal my own trauma in a similar way. Thank you 🙏🏻❤️
We are 32 as a body and we only just had a connection with someone, who felt SAFE. it was so beautiful. We were respected. Safe and not having to switch out. We hope you all get to feel that. We love you all ❤️
This was so powerful. You've stepped into righteous anger and are taking ownership of your presence, body, and self. You are a formidable ally.
I didnt even have any clue this was happening and i still feel like im being scolded! Genuine congratulations for standing up for yourself so firmly. You are incredible and the things that have happened/are happening to you are horrid. Hopefully this will get people to start backing off.
I was 4. 4 years old. Unfortunately, I still remember it and the other times it happened. I wish I didnt. I want to thank you for this message. Just because we have been through horrific things, doesn't mean we cannot be comfortable with ourselves for the first time in a very long time. I appreciate you so much. You deserve to be happy, loved, understood, accepted for everything you are. You are such a lovely, sweet young person. I am still trying to heal.
I'm so sorry. We were about 3 when it started, we feel it with you. You can get there. Sending you love and support ❤️
I can't imagine how scared you were when it happened to you. I was 14 when it happened to me and he was in his 60s. Then had more incidents following that, including a recent incident earlier this year from an ex roommate.. It's horrific how people compare a simple suggestive but innocent tiktok to CSA and even more disgusting that victims are shamed for it yet the abuser doesn't receive backlash. Why? Because it's "our fault"? No, it was never our fault. I'm glad you're on the path of healing, it's not that easy but I'm sure we'll all make it there. Much love to you sweetheart 💙
Oh no, I’m so, so sorry. I wish I could help people that have had these experiences through that. I really wish I could do anything.
@@DissociaDID Awe, thank you so much! I appreciate you! 💚
@@reign_sw4g176 I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm sorry for anyone who goes through anything like that. It's never your fault. Ever. Love you all.
As a system who has gone through CSA and has a sexual alter who likes to be sexual at times, I'm glad that someone who has a voice has spoken out about this. Thank you so much. You guys have always made me feel better about having DID and about the trama that I have gone through. Mara is such and inspiration to Ellie in my system. Mara shows that it is okay to look good and just have it be for herself, which is what Ellie in my system needs to see sometimes. So thank you guys again. Much love to you all. 💕
TIMESTAMPS:
00:42 - Mara
02:00 - Reddit & Boundaries
04:21 - DissociaDID vs. Other Socials
06:21 - Our TiKTok Boundaries
09:47 - Mara's TikToks
12:13 - SA Surviours reclaiming sexuality safety
15:34 - Our Diaganosis
16:07 - Why we're calling this out
18:56 - Responding to Reddit
I love the bluntness, I love confidence, it's like everything Chloe wanted to say in the past but was to scared too, I miss Chloe, Nina, Nin and Kyle but Kya is what they all needed ❤️❤️
Ive never seen such obnoxious backlash over basic normal videos. Those "thirstraps" are everywhere online. Those people are obviously just taking things out on you for their own misguided and selfish reasons. I hope you can feel better after speaking your truth, and can continue living a normal life posting those completely normal things. Those people are not worth your time after this, you've spoken extremely well on it.
This is exactly what I was thinking too. Like why is it suddenly a problem now? SUSSY af
I saw one person comment that Mara's spooky makeup and overall appearance supposedly contributes to stigma, especially towards persecutors ... but isn't it common for persecutors to look somewhat intimidating?
Thank you so much, to everyone in the DissociaDID system for making this video. You are so strong, and I cannot tell you how much it meant to hear how you all keep fighting, for those suffering and recovering from their trauma. And as a survivor from CSA and severe bullying as well, thank you especially for standing up for our rights to our sensuality and fun in our bodies in safe places/ways. Because yes, we do like to express ourselves as a means to recover, we do suffer flashbacks, dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and feeling overall yucky in our own skin sometimes. And that does NOT invalidate us from also wanting to reclaim the sensual side of ourselves for our own safe use. In tears right now, thank you, just thank you.
The obsession a big part of straight men have with lack of consent is seriously concerning
Hey don’t group all straight men in the same damn group. This is a problem that exists no matter your sexuality. Certain people will be fucking creeps about sex but that doesn’t mean that all straight men are.
not all, just 90 percent of men.@@Guava11534
Sending good vibes and hope everyone who sees this stays safe
I haven't ever found someone talking as open as you are on the effects and dealing with sexual trauma. This helps so much. Thank you so so much
A song that really fits this its my body and i can be flirty and its not shameful to be that way is a song by chinchilla called know no. A line from that song fits really well is "i could be naked in your bed, still entitled to decline" such a powerful line! Thank you for this video.
I really love the way you can be strict with your boundaries and even get really angry in such a healthy and protective way which is 0% sadistic. You set an amazing example and say so many things that are ON POINT that this would be a full novel instead of a comment if I listed them all here. Thank you for everything you do! Much love
I don't have DID but I am a survivor of sexual trauma from childhood and teen years. You speaking about this is so fucking important. People are disgusting, truly. It is SO important for trauma holders to recognize that it is NOT your fault. Some never get there in their lifetime. And those who are fighting every day to absolve themselves of someone else's wrong doings, have to see this kind of shit from people is horrific. I'm so glad mara has a place to be herself. I'm so glad that you are focused on your healing because beyond anything THAT is the most important. You safety, health and well being are very important to this community you've made and too all of us who you fight for everyday. Those of us who have sever trauma and even little trauma. Trauma is trauma. It all hurts the same, it all silences us the same. I appreciate the good of your channel and the championship you have taken upon yourselves to help us fight. To give us coping skills, to tell us we aren't alone. Trauma makes you feel so alone. And as a woman I am thankful that you are coming to your systems defense AND our defense for those of us who have suffered sexual trauma. So thank you to kya and the dissociadid system I will be forever thankful for your efforts and love.
Although I have never personally experience this trauma. This video made me feel like it’s okay to stand up for yourself and set boundaries. And it’s okay to have done it before. Not only is it okay but it’s necessary and brave. Thank you for this. It helped me in more ways than one
I have to thank you for directly saying "it's not your fault".
I'm only 21 and when I was 15 to 16 I was sexually and emotionally abused by my first partner. I chalked everything up to it being because I was too young to know what I was doing, it being my first relationship and that the red flags I was supposed to know I ignored. Hearing you guys, the Dissociadid system, talk about how a body is nothing to be ashamed of for using it the way you want is so inexplicably powering for someone like me who's self image and esteem was torn down piece by piece from one person. I've never been able to fully express the pure rage I feel when describing how my appearance and body were weaponized against me and that because I was feminine presenting, I was always at fault no matter what I did. Thank you for putting it so powerfully and in a way that millions of people, and women like me, can empathize with. Thank you.
Proud of you ❤️ I'm so sorry you went through something so terrible
@@DissociaDID Thank you guys so much for speaking up about these issues, it truly means so much for people like me. Keep doing what you're doing!
Im so grateful for this. I love that you guys were angry and unafraid to be loud or take up space. I cannot get truly upset or express when I'm feeling rage without bawling and hyperventilating. It makes me feel infantile and regressive that I must either cry or sit in silence. I don't know how to take up space and be unashamed of expressing myself, so I admire your guy's ability to to be angry, scathing, and sophisticated.
Sometimes being a bigger person is calling out disgusting behaviour and not be in silence. You all are amazing! 👏🏻👏🏻❤
Absolutely!!!
So many times during this video I wanted to jump up and give you a standing ovation! I can't believe how incredibly strong, direct, and well spoken you are while talking about such incredibly upsetting content and harassment! Everything you said is so spot on and I am behind you 100%. I hope you continue to do everything and anything that makes you all happy. Let the haters continue to cry in their little pathetic corners. Sending love!
This video is SO important. Kya, Jade, Mara, Ruby and anyone else present during this video, THANK YOU. Mara deserves to heal, you all deserve to heal. Everyone deserves to heal. It is disgusting that they have demeaned CSA by comparing Mara’s tiktok to it. It’s unbelievable. I enjoy Kya&Co’s content, and I enjoy Mara’s content. Keep posting, keep healing - I know it’s difficult to block all of this out, but just know that they couldn’t be further from the truth❤
I am sorry that this video was necessary. Keep being awesome!
Thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️
19:33 The amount of happiness I felt. It's hard to have a s. protector, and hearing that it is normal and okay..It makes me deeply happy. Thank you. 💙
I'll make sure to show them this video. Take care💙
🖤❤
i havent visited your channel in a while- ive been following you for years and check up every now and then, especially with the shitstorm of 2020(?). i just had to point out what an incredible change ive seen in your growth. youre so strong for a million reasons, but the jade-like way you clearly establish your boundaries and stand up for/protect your system is just amazing to see. the minute you read that first comment i couldnt help but smile!! “sorry, did i ask?” GIRL you fuckin tell em ! this “blend of altars” (like its a coffee blend lmao) is exquisite
As a survivor of CSA this means so much to me and my system (literally in tears). We can not explain how liberating and empowering to hear someone speaking up on such a topic.
Sending lots of love and support,
System Unknown
The advice to go private is so terrible because if you WERE to make that account private, you could be accused of hiding the content. And if a minor is found to be following a privated account that no one can verify what is being posted on it is just putting you in a position to look bad. You cannot possibly monitor a public social media to the point you can insure no minor comes into contact with it. The most someone can do is put a warning and make it known they are not welcome here. You cannot control other peoples reactions and are not responsible if someone ignores those warnings.
This!
I didn't realize the TikTok TOS said that you can only make TikToks for healing/therapeutic purposes! How dare she use it to have fun, engage with the internet, or be a human being doing whatever tf they want! The horror.
You guys have been through so much since the time I've started watching y'all's channel. I don't understand why people want to hurt someone who's been hurt so much before. I'm very sorry that we have a society like this, to the point where we can't even be ourselves without getting bashed on. I hope that y'all can continue fighting through this and stay strong, because the world needs strong people like you guys. ❤️
You can only "be the bigger person" for so long, and then it just becomes getting walked on or otherwise treated like sh*t. Good for you, expressing yourselves and speaking out!! Like so many have said, I am so proud of you.
Hello Kya! I've been a viewer of the Dissociadid channel for a long time now, and all of you guys helped me to understand myself a lot, when it comes to topics of trauma, anxiety and depression. Although I don't have DID, your content deeply resonnates with me and is a stepping stone for my own healing journey.
After watching the last video posted on the channel, I debated for a long time whether or not to send you this letter because I have no idea how it will be received. But considering all the things you indirectly helped me with, I felt like it was right to give you a little bit of support. So here I go: I absolutely love your videos and I hope you continue making them. I created a tik tok account to check out what Mara was doing and I have to say that I am ashamed of the people who would look at that and accusing her of abusing children. This is vile, this is gross, this is bullying a creator out of envy and sadism. Mara did absolutely nothing wrong, you did absolutely nothing wrong, and I am so sorry for the behaviour some of the other viewers are exhibiting on the internet. I'm sending you love and strenght and I want to tell you that there is a lot of people on your side who you are helping, a lot. Keep on shining, you deserve it. xoxo.
This is so powerful. I am so proud of them for sticking up for what is right. That stare gave me chills, I could see Jade in it. When they say that it was in no way you fault, I started crying if I'm being entirely honest.
You have worded this so strongly and your advocacy for yourself and other people is such a great example for others. You are so resilient and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come and the healing and education you’ve been really brave to share. Bravo. You have every shred of my respect and support.
Throughout this whole video I was like “PERIODT KING!!! FREAKING GO OFF ON THEM!!! SLAYYYY 💅💅💅” Freaking loved this video as a SA survivor and now protector for others
I'm so proud of you for taking back your voice. That boundary of not interacting with those toxic people and spaces really is so important, but sometimes just setting things straight can have so much power. Great job finding that balance here.
Oh gosh, this doesn't look very good. I thank you for educating us viewers about issues going on that we may not see for ourselves. Hope you all are okay and this issue comes to an end ASAP, whatever it may be!
I’ve been watching since before Chloe and Nina fused and seeing how much the system has survived and grown through is so unbelievably tragic and yet so beautiful and inspiring. I don’t think the system back then would have ever thought they’d be strong enough to fight back against their bullies and speak out for justice. All so fearlessly defending yourselves and the others in your systems against any adversity. Thank you all for continuing to be so brave and share your experiences and educate us (I found the channel doing research on DID for a school project) about such a complex disorder. As a fellow survivor of CSA it’s so important to share how hard it is to reclaim your own sexuality and feel comfortable in it. It’s a huge part of feeling really at home in your body and it is an insanely hard journey. You don’t have to justify yourselves to anyone. You are the only ones who have walked your path and you are the only ones who can know what you need to heal. Sending all the love and good vibes your way. Cheers lovelies x
Tearing up a bit at this, thank you ❤️❤️❤️
This is a healthy amount of rage, this is what anger is for. This is what fighting is. "I'm tired and angry but somebody should be"
“I’ve been polite, but won’t be caught dead letting a man tell me what I should do in my bed.”
I'm not neurodivergent and I've watched you for years now just because I genuinely enjoy you as a person and think you're very interesting and lovely! I can't imagine why anyone would wish ill of you. I also was so unaware (albeit I'm clearly late to this video) about what you said around 13:00. So very sad. Wishing you all the best. ❤
Goodness...can I just say how spectacular you are? I don't know if this was off the cuff or written, but either way, it is SO clear and decisive. It seems like you are in a much more healthy and confident place right now to be able to be this open, yet also this assertive toward those who are against you. Way to go!
Also...I just adore Jade. First time I remember seeing her is the one where she said that she'd protect the littles, and she was front and center when speaking toward the end. If we were face to face, and I was even remotely in the place where she was mad at me, I would wither at her gaze. All y'all are awesome, but because Jade doesn't get as much "face time" as others, I just wanted to call her out and let her know that she is amazing and her efforts are seen.
I was gonna say something similar about Jade. They said they were pretty blendy throughout the video, and though I don't think either of them fully fronted, I felt Jade and Ruby near the end, loud and clear. The righteous and protective fury of those two (along with Mara and Kya, I'm sure) could shake mountains and boil seas, and I felt it tangibly as I watched this video. I have so much respect for the protectors in not just this system, but every DID (and similar situations) systems.
Thank you! And we susprised ourselves with this, we just sat down and pressed record and talked almost completely non stop for 40 minutes. I've never felt such swift and smooth communication and passing over between us. There were at least 5 of us in different parts of the video.
@@DissociaDID So Proud of you. I am a pretty big dude and I have a female friend with DID they have a couple that I have seen really chewing people out. They scared me just like part of this video did. Very well done. I don't know anything about the stuff this stemmed from but what an amazing response!!
@@DissociaDID I count it as a priviledge to be able to see it. There were times that I could tell that someone else was up front, but identifying that wasn't as important to me as hearing what y'all (best thing to come out of living in the southern US is the natural use of 'y'all' 😁) were saying. I think I appreciate Jade so much because, from what I've seen, she tends to stay in the back? I LOVE people like that, who aren't in the spotlight, but support those who are. And it also seems she comes up front when kids/littles are involved, and potentially threatened or harmed? That will get my attention more than anything else as well, so seeing her outward reaction of my inner reaction...like I said, I just adore her. I hope that I've encouraged her and I am thankful for the times that she's revealed herself a little.
@@dwell7315 You're right, now that you mention it, it did seem like a Ruby/Jade tag team near the end. It's Jade's gaze/glare that always makes me do the DiCaprio point/snap "There she is!" thing in my head. What a couple of warriors!
The fact that we have to live in a world with this makes me so mad. My spite is through the roof right now and thats what ultimately got me out of depression from my trauma. Thank you for documenting this, csa survivors deserve to be respected and noticed. Sending lots of strength!
I'm so proud of you (collective). You shouldn't have to go through this, but you spoke words in a way I never thought I'd be able to put together and for that you have my thanks. ❤️
As a DID system, we understand and support this on so many levels. It’s so important to be able to stand up for ourselves, and empower ourselves in safe ways. It is so unfortunate and frustrating how misunderstood those of us with DID truly are. Thank you for continuing to speak out and fight back in constructive ways.❤
I simply wanted to thank you for this project of yours. My daughter has a dissociative disorder, not dissociative identity disorder, and has used some of your tools to help herself. Thanks to your channel, she has better coping mechanisms in place. She and I have also had frank discussions about attempts each of us made to end ourselves because of the honesty of your system. Thank you for what you do.
“Consent can be redrawn at any time” amen to that and all the rest of your video I’ve been agreeing wholeheartedly too. Man, ppl are idiots 😓
I struggle with accepting sexuality after SA as well. There are so many emotions that go into learning who you are, including the sexual side of yourself, and the last thing anyone needs is hateful people on the internet policing them. I am so grateful for your system, you guys feel like a safe older sibling and I love it ❤
As a singlet with some non physical sexual trauma (online) from when I was a younger teenager, you make me feel so safe and I’m so happy you are spreading awareness about quite literally everything you’ve said in this video. I’m proud of all of you in these comments and I hope the best for everyone 💗
Online matters and is hard. Me too.
"the issue isn't actually, that we're doing something sexual. it's the fact that it's now consensual for you to see." - that hit on another level.
23:56 “without using…your fucking brain” 🤣 deceased. Even on the rewatch. You’re a genuinely funny person and so much more than your struggles. More of this please, more of your authentic self ❤
I felt chastised and this video wasn't even directed at me, gosh damn.
This is such a strong video. You've all come so far. Thank you for making this video. I am here for this strength and power and confidence.
I find it extremely unfair that you have gone through such trauma online that it caused a new split to emerge. Im sorry to hear that you have had such a tragic experience throughout your life that feels like from the minute you were born up to even now. I sometimes forget that just because your an adult and fully independent that you can still experience intense trauma.
i’m so sorry but “an onlyfans for someone licking their fangs?” absolutely sent me because you know somewhere out there that exact account exists, i had to press pause to type this and laugh for a second… idk how i missed this vid when it was originally posted, but i’m proud of you for not standing for this bs, don’t let these idiots silence you anymore, you hold so much power and your voice can travel far further than theirs ever will!
it is so hard to feel sexy in our body. we appreciate so much the validating words you share. it is so hard to feel safe and comfortable, let alone even using social media the way other people do. thank you so much for sharing your experience with this. it takes so much strength. thank you for being so brave. really, thank you.
As someone with PTSD from child sexual abuse and trauma, I one million percent understand reclaiming your own sexuality is absolutely healing!! It directly is. When others took my body for their own use, I grew up feeling tainted and that my body want my own. Going on a journey to allow myself to be sensual in my own way and *reclaiming!!* my body again was an amazing and difficult journey. Proud of Mara and so sorry for all you've been through. Thank you for validating people like me, you all are amazing ❤