Immigration Courts: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ต.ค. 2024
  • America’s dysfunctional immigration court system forces many children to appear in court alone. That’s as ridiculous in real life as it would be on a courtroom television show.
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ความคิดเห็น • 10K

  • @whuzzzup
    @whuzzzup 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1886

    USA:
    Having sex with someone under 16/18: HELL NO!
    Drinking alcohol under 21: HELL NO!
    Representing yourself in court as a 4 year-old: Sure, why not.

    • @BucketOfFuk
      @BucketOfFuk 6 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      whuzzzup Logic is overrated anyways

    • @ahmedffh7953
      @ahmedffh7953 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      whuzzzup dude it's the greatest country in the world don't say that

    • @ryanbacker4870
      @ryanbacker4870 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      USA USA USA!

    • @ahmedffh7953
      @ahmedffh7953 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Mac Mcskullface is this real??? do they actually make people under 18 not allowed to watch porn ?????? You thought I'm gonna say guns right nooo it's USA

    • @edmannope7497
      @edmannope7497 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      whuzzzup murricaaaaaa fuck yeahhhh

  • @MrTheAnimationshow
    @MrTheAnimationshow 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2008

    I remember a segment on Fox News a couple years ago where they were also agreeing that a 3 year old is old enough to represent themselves in court. Which is great because they have also recently held the position that the Parkland students shouldn't be trying to influence gun policy with their opinions because they are just mostly 15 to 17 year olds.

    • @timotyj3596
      @timotyj3596 6 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      Faux News!

    • @Avrysatos
      @Avrysatos 6 ปีที่แล้ว +231

      So they're old enough to represent themselves but should never be trusted or taken seriously enough to do anything important like say... represent themselves...? Sigh.

    • @voidface8827
      @voidface8827 6 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      Why you gotta go there
      "Kids should stop eating tide pods lmao"
      *the kids plan world-wide marches to implement gun control and create awareness*
      "Wait no not like that"

    • @q345ify
      @q345ify 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      its like that joke from family guy how Rush Limbaguh convinced Brian was a liberal by saying there was a 3 year old executed in Texas and when he expresses shock he's like "see your concern for others betrays you"

    • @Jasonblade9012
      @Jasonblade9012 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      My man is back!!!!!!!

  • @thelogan4641
    @thelogan4641 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1679

    If 3-4 year olds understand immigration law, then clearly they should be sent to university rather than to some other country

    • @godofshinobi9993
      @godofshinobi9993 6 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      The Logan nope then the children should be made judges instead of that judge.

    • @davidsouza7994
      @davidsouza7994 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That'd be grt if their lives weren't in danger where they originally came from. TF.

    • @arturofernandez4058
      @arturofernandez4058 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Everyone talks about that part, but what impacted me the most is HOW THE F*CK CAN A COURT NOT BE PART OF THE JUDICIARY?????!!! It's a clear violation of the separation of powers. And as far a I know this is not done in any other modern democracy.

    • @spakentruth
      @spakentruth 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      "that's the America I know, and I promise ya, you're gonna be confused by it"

    • @mattmas32
      @mattmas32 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      No. The US government doesn't want immigrants who can read or write, let alone understand the law.

  • @omarcarrillonavarro6916
    @omarcarrillonavarro6916 4 ปีที่แล้ว +290

    I’ve come back to this episode to say, WE FUCKING GOT THEM! My father and grandmother are now COMPLETELY OFFICIAL LEGAL CITIZENS OF THE US! It’s been a long 16 years, going to courts and barely getting to see my dad because of how much he and my grandmother worked for it, but I can now say happily, we’ve done it. My grandfather is probably smiling at us from up above seeing my entire family happy we did it considering we were doing it for him and my grandmother but he passed away before we could even get halfway through the process. Let me tell you all in the comments, this shit was some of the most stressful kinds of stuff I ever had to see and deal with, PLEASE if there’s any kind of law or bill that seems to be on the ballot, PLEASE I beg of you as a fellow American, HELP YOUR FELLOW MAN!

  • @albevanhanoy
    @albevanhanoy 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4659

    America : "3 years old can understand immigration law and defend themselves in court."
    Also America : "17 years old can't argue about gun laws, it's an adult topic."

    • @alfio1421
      @alfio1421 6 ปีที่แล้ว +376

      But 18 to go to war

    • @civilhand5837
      @civilhand5837 6 ปีที่แล้ว +225

      And 15 to get married in Utah

    • @C_Bat
      @C_Bat 6 ปีที่แล้ว +221

      and under 10 to get molested by a priest.

    • @farah4l
      @farah4l 6 ปีที่แล้ว +135

      And a newborn to get circumcised

    • @AndyAce83
      @AndyAce83 6 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      And brain dead to comment on youtube.

  • @MrGearOfficial
    @MrGearOfficial 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2257

    We need full season of Tot Bench.

    • @ndasdsad17
      @ndasdsad17 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      The 1000 Degree Knife vs Immigration Courts Video Is Taking A While Huh?

    • @melissaspahr3810
      @melissaspahr3810 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I would watch it. HA HA

    • @aquatank23
      @aquatank23 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      MrGear i would actually watch that

    • @grmmth3
      @grmmth3 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      MrGear you would care more about that than the injustice in this country!

    • @melissaspahr3810
      @melissaspahr3810 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      You can care about injustice and realize tot court is really funny.

  • @KalleNoble
    @KalleNoble 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1532

    I think we should be most alarmed that Republican lawyers are saying their skills are on par to a baby's

    • @Onigirli
      @Onigirli 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Lmao

    • @kurtsudheim825
      @kurtsudheim825 6 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Kalle Noble exactly, if a baby can do your job, why are you here being paid si much

    • @KalleNoble
      @KalleNoble 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I'm not going to take the time to read this because I loved the first line too much, Republicans literally wanted a pedophile to lead them earlier this year, some of them saying it was better that he was a pedophile. Like it doesn't get much lower and hypocritical than that lol

    • @KalleNoble
      @KalleNoble 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      True, a Republican lawyer would probably only be able to say "I do not recall!"

    • @keatonm100
      @keatonm100 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Because all lawyers are Republican?

  • @justbe411
    @justbe411 6 ปีที่แล้ว +526

    Let’s not even mention that most of these people can’t speak fluent English. Even if they were adults that could inform themselves good luck finding it in a decent translation.
    This is so sad to see and that these people have to go through this and be treated as criminals when they’re just trying to be safe.

    • @johnmininger7472
      @johnmininger7472 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      @jack Maher - And yet it is not illegal to present at an official port of entry for asylum as was the case of the woman whose appeal we heard in this video.

    • @erichall090909
      @erichall090909 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      jack Maher then can we create a clearer and easier way of immigrating legally?

    • @flappy7373
      @flappy7373 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      but is it sad enough for you to do anything about it? anything at all? at all? anything....? at... all?

    • @libertariantranslator1929
      @libertariantranslator1929 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The courts actually use good interpreters. The hearing asks four questions. Republican politicians export policies that make those countries into fascist dictatorships, so naturally everyone without a hand in the till seeks to flee.

    • @libertariantranslator1929
      @libertariantranslator1929 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Simultaneous interpreters are provided at your expense, just like in 1908.

  • @tonycrash9418
    @tonycrash9418 6 ปีที่แล้ว +527

    Teach a 3 or 4 year old immigration law? There truly is no hope for us.

    • @gatorfan98
      @gatorfan98 6 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      If the 70-year-old in the White House doesn't understand it (he thinks people are still coming here for DACA, which is impossible), I doubt that a four-year-old will understand it, either.

    • @RC-vs3hp
      @RC-vs3hp 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know... If only their parents wouldn't have been irresponsible and put them in that situation. We need to send illegal immigrants back with their kids. I don't want to split up families.

    • @naviamerie
      @naviamerie 6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      did you even watch the video? this is the responsible thing to bring them here. its dangerous back home and i guess you may not be for splitting up families, but for killing children then.

    • @mariamatias5801
      @mariamatias5801 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Brandon Hernandez they don't understand what that family is going through back in their country so it's easy for those guys to say get out and get a visa and so on but I can guarantee you that if thier families where threaten to death by some serious gang members (like in most south American countries) they would look to flee the country, I can almost guarantee you that those people saying get a visa and get out and so on would do the same as those people

    • @RC-vs3hp
      @RC-vs3hp 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      So we should allow every person who says "they're going to kill me" stay? great system. Expect the number of people who say they'll be killed if they go back to their home country to go up.

  • @MostlyNotDps
    @MostlyNotDps 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1104

    I've tried to address this many times, including contacting ACLU and other non-profits. Maybe Last Week Tonight can get some results.
    I do immigration in southern California. I have many, many people come to me seeking help, but they have no money. None of the attorneys are willing to represent a client who can't pay (including my boss, who won't allow me to anymore). And, unlike the bankruptcy court (where I volunteer) and every other court, there is no self-help legal clinic for the immigration court. so these people have nothing, and no way to get help. Not only that, but the agencies who *do* have the money, and the means to help them, don't. They spend all their time lobbying and advocating, but none of it actually doing good.
    The backlogs and clogged courts can't be fixed. that's a symptom of the massive caseload. But the people can be helped through it. I proposed to the ACLU that they find attorneys, like me, who are willing to represent these clients for very little money, and they just cover the costs of their case. My firm charges $2,500 + court fees for, say, an asylum application. But if the ACLU called me and said "we will pay all of their court costs, lets make a fee deal" then I would do every one for significantly less. $500 or so. THAT would be a phenomenally better expense than paying some dude to scream every week on CNN because that $1,400 (court costs + fee) would actually save somebody. It would confer an actual, tangible benefit. If those numbers don't work, then lets talk about number that do. Lets talk about actually helping people, rather than screaming about how the system needs to be fixed.
    Of course it needs to be fixed. Of course it's broken. But, until the day it is fixed, there are people suffering. there are people suffering *right now* who need help. They don't care if the system will get fixed. They care about not being sent back to their rapists. They care about not being torn away from their families. There are lawyers out there, like me, who want to help. But we're hamstrung. Hey, John Oliver, ACLU, and all those other non-profits have the power to help. I'm just one attorney in a crappy building in Oxnard. Please help me to help these people. Or don't.

    • @amandaorr4288
      @amandaorr4288 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Mostlynotgay join AILA and they will help

    • @ireneadler4925
      @ireneadler4925 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      did you even watch the goddamn video?

    • @Nosirt
      @Nosirt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      at that point you may as well just close up immigration courts and give citizenships to anyone thats this side of the border. The problem with sound innocent and liberal and "of the suffering of people" is that you need to draw the line somewhere. What is the point of having courts that has a track record of 29% or 90%? either way, you're being biased. Not deporting anyone with the sad story isn't helping, nor is it deserving of praise. My point and absolute mistrust of people like John Oliver and Fox News is what they think is important, To John and to you probably, the problem was Atlanta's 89% rather than the discrepancy of 29% in Cali, too. If Mexico is a crime-ridden place that this many people need sections, I grentee you I could make sime case for over quater of teh qorld population.

    • @AkRed-cn7eh
      @AkRed-cn7eh 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😩😩

    • @AkRed-cn7eh
      @AkRed-cn7eh 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can you share you contact information / email?

  • @GiantEagle610
    @GiantEagle610 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1670

    Nobody wants to uproot themselves and move to another country. People want to stay in their own country , grow old and die with friends and family and loved ones. If they flee to another country it means they really are desperate

    • @deanchampion6777
      @deanchampion6777 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Why flee so far? Why flee from Honduras to USA, instead of another country in south/central America? Why must :Somalis come to USA, instead of some other country in Africa? And BOTH China AND South Korea are large enough and rich enough to support their own citizens -- so why should any of them EVER leave home?

    • @backinorange
      @backinorange 6 ปีที่แล้ว +260

      why did they British colonize half the world? why did white people move to America? why!? :p

    • @bookXbat
      @bookXbat 6 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      Dean Champion youre assuming that that the ua is the only country with people who flee to it. It is not. There are tons of people who do just what you're saying and flee or just immigrate to the uk or canda or South korea etc. Each country has its own immigration laws and some have corrupt sytems for forcing people in need out quickly as well. Japan for example has a rocky relationship with brazillian immigrants similar to the usa and mexico immigrants. South korea has an entire system for helping north korean defectors assimilate to south korean life once thoroughly vetted to be sure they're not spies. Syrian refugees can be found in Turkey, Canada, the US, etc. Immigration, both legal and illegal, isnt just an american thing. Though we seem to want to believe it is.
      As for why so far. Sometimes these other countries force them out or dontnlet them in so they find other ways to get out. Many countries have a set number of refugees they will take. And some places are easier to get to depending on who you know or are related to

    • @bajramgashi8762
      @bajramgashi8762 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Daniel Galeano Thats basically irrelevant, he does have a point despite though, Africa will have around 4 billion people by 2070, Africa currently has just over 1 billion and the poverty there is the worst in the world, just what happens when there's 4 billion africans in Africa and when 70% will be starving, the humanitarian crisis will be absolutely immense, so what do people like u propose? "Ummm lets just send all of them to Europe cuz Britain used to colonize and shizzzz" Thats not how it works...

    • @Celisar1
      @Celisar1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Daniel Galeano
      History education can easily answer that.
      GB wanted the resources and cheap labor force.
      The first white people expected to find lots of gold.
      The first white settlers were looking for a better life.
      And now the answer to why people from Somalia want to come to the USA:
      not because they need protection but because they want a better life in a rich country.
      If it were about needing protection they would stay in another nearby African country.
      They come for economic reasons!

  • @EposVox
    @EposVox 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1645

    I'd watch Tot Bench omg

    • @rowansafley6133
      @rowansafley6133 5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      EposVox we need Tot Bench to be a real thing

    • @israellai
      @israellai 5 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      it's like a show that doesn't need a script but is full of twists and turns regardless

    • @PaddySnuffles
      @PaddySnuffles 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      tbh I'd watch any show featuring toddlers in charge.

    • @PaddySnuffles
      @PaddySnuffles 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@israellai Which basically sums up toddlers in a nutshell. ;D

    • @marcorock101
      @marcorock101 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Especially if Archer is getting canned 😂

  • @TacetTheTerror
    @TacetTheTerror 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1678

    "You've been doing this for 14 years, but you're 4."
    "Ugghh yeaaah."
    Too perfect. XD

    • @hexaquras9374
      @hexaquras9374 6 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Tacet the Terror every job interview's requirements

    • @varyag1393
      @varyag1393 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Judge Riley should be a national treasure

    • @alanacrail3244
      @alanacrail3244 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      It reminds me of when a girl around 3 or 4 told me her birthday was soon and when I asked he how old she was turning her answer was "24"

    • @tiffyw92
      @tiffyw92 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This here is a qualified judge, yessiree.

    • @Lolly4twDasOrginal
      @Lolly4twDasOrginal 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      "You've been doing this for 14 years, but you're 4."
      "Ugghh yeaaah."
      now we know at which level the donald is operating

  • @SaintYvesLaw
    @SaintYvesLaw 6 ปีที่แล้ว +418

    As an attorney, this is alarming and heartbreaking. I'm going to try and do my part to help those in need. Not sure how much of a difference I can make but I will try.

    • @antetarokic
      @antetarokic 6 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      You can make a huge difference! Even just going to volunteer for a week at Dilly Detention Center would help these kids out. caraprobono.org/volunteer/

    • @juliaset751
      @juliaset751 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Marie-Yves Nadine Jean-Baptiste, you have my respect.

    • @LeYt0nG
      @LeYt0nG 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Diimaa are you a bot?

    • @dallastexas8934
      @dallastexas8934 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Marie-Yves Nadine Jean-Baptiste if you do you will be the real mvp

    • @goldfishlover147
      @goldfishlover147 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Few more people like you with councious; and the world would be a better place 😊

  • @MH-pe8wj
    @MH-pe8wj 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1463

    Tot court is a good represetation of our entire justice system.

    • @ThePanuccio
      @ThePanuccio 6 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      Michael Hammer I mean the tots got a confession and a sentence.

    • @Iason29
      @Iason29 6 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      The children's court is better actually. Because it's just as bad but at least it's more fun.

    • @-Trauma.
      @-Trauma. 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      When you look into Cash for Kids, and you realize, that is still happening in other states, all the time you'd see differently.

    • @dudleybalrog7348
      @dudleybalrog7348 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wait, so you're saying H Jon Benjamin DID burn down a hospital?

    • @supersquare
      @supersquare 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yeah but real court doesn't have snacks!

  • @user-jy8zb2wc8l
    @user-jy8zb2wc8l 6 ปีที่แล้ว +201

    I can't believe how apathetic people are to this kind of thing happening. It's a human rights issue. Just because they are not their own citizens. It is disturbing the kind of psychopathy that the bad judges in this system must have to people's plights.

    • @juliangorrido1392
      @juliangorrido1392 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Then, useless, virtue-signaling, pieces of shit like you do nothing to improve anything.

    • @the_modfied_car4903
      @the_modfied_car4903 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@juliangorrido1392 explain your reasoning then

    • @bobjones2959
      @bobjones2959 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The whole point of the occupation of judge is to judge and punish people. It's not a stretch to think that it'd attract power-hungry psychos and moral grand-standers. Not saying all judges are like that of course, but the nature of the application is going to bias the sample of applicants.

    • @bobjones2959
      @bobjones2959 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@juliangorrido1392 Empty buzzwords with no substance to be found. Have you even tried making an attempt at thinking or is that too difficult?

    • @spooky2526
      @spooky2526 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@the_modfied_car4903 I agree Mr Julian over here has used some strong words but if you watched the video you saw those statistics, 90% deportation rate when most places. Have less than 40%? That says quite a lot about the judge more than the system.

  • @jamesburgess2k
    @jamesburgess2k 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1767

    Jesus, this entire episode was so damn depressing. I couldn't even bring myself to laugh at the jokes.
    It's crazy how we say we're one of the best countries ever, yet if you aren't a US citizen, we won't show any level of human decency to another person. We demand respect, yet we can't even show the bare minimum.

    • @neonflights5951
      @neonflights5951 6 ปีที่แล้ว +386

      King Andres, yeah. Except, holy shit dude, a person entering your private personal residence is WORLDS away from someone being allowed to simply live within the US border far away from whatever they came this far for or from. Those are not the same things and should not be compared so recklessly like that

    • @nishantsharma7436
      @nishantsharma7436 6 ปีที่แล้ว +204

      Yeah now you are getting somewhere sir... For someone outside US...
      Your country come across as the biggest hypocrite in the world,seriously not even kidding, take a look at the decisions made by your government from the last 5 decades.. Right from the start of Vietnam war which was none of your business to the Iraq war which again was none of your business except you know Oil...
      Just endless supply of hypocrisy...

    • @KayleaFleming
      @KayleaFleming 6 ปีที่แล้ว +250

      If you truly think that literally every other human on planet earth is out to steal your stuff, you need to see a psychologist. Paranoia is not normal.

    • @jonbates2897
      @jonbates2897 6 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      King Andres Stop living in your own world of paranoia for a change. Otherwise you're just weak.

    • @MrTheAnimationshow
      @MrTheAnimationshow 6 ปีที่แล้ว +149

      +King Andres. Your country spends trillions of dollars on an already over stuffed Military every year and has yet somehow convinved poeple like you that helping thoese in need is the problem.

  • @akmal94ibrahim
    @akmal94ibrahim 6 ปีที่แล้ว +946

    If a kid has to defend him/herself, then the only fair thing to do is to have the judge a child too.

    • @shubhamnew
      @shubhamnew 6 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      You want to be deported to pizza ? Done !!

    • @rileyjones9413
      @rileyjones9413 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      NEW NO-NO

    • @awsomemagic16
      @awsomemagic16 6 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      “This court is now in recess!” *everybody runs to the playground*

    • @dinothunder629
      @dinothunder629 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      wasnt that judgeboss a kid?

    • @EMETRL
      @EMETRL 6 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      or perhaps there should be a system in place that protects children from being equally liable as adults for the same actions... oh wait that already exists in pretty much every field of law other than immigration. yay

  • @3p1cand3rs0n
    @3p1cand3rs0n 6 ปีที่แล้ว +877

    Nonsense! I went up against numerous three-year-olds in mock trials during law school, and they are vicious. Don't let little "pizza" girl fool you. She is chief counsel for American Girl.

    • @Barzins1
      @Barzins1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      ElyssaAnderson 😂😂🤣🤣

    • @NaohMkS
      @NaohMkS 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You made my day

    • @fatpatMC
      @fatpatMC 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      haha well done good form

    • @AshleyS.
      @AshleyS. 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ElyssaAnderson lmfao

    • @wahpanda1520
      @wahpanda1520 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      little cheese pizza girl :

  • @Angry5704
    @Angry5704 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    I would legitimately watch a court show run by toddlers.

    • @Gambit22003
      @Gambit22003 ปีที่แล้ว

      I would watch them everyday of my life until the very end! 🤣

    • @islandneni1829
      @islandneni1829 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Lol same they're too cute & funny

  • @ColoringKaria
    @ColoringKaria 6 ปีที่แล้ว +504

    it is insane that a judge tried to say that 3 year olds can totally defend themselves in court. I dont think its by mistake. remember all the talk of terror babies. this is on purpose. they can barely handle going to the potty. By the way Tot court was really cute.

    • @nhagan001
      @nhagan001 6 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      Nah. you can blame this on Trump. Immigrants are bad.
      Albert Einstein could be at our border with the cure to cancer, but we wouldn't give a damn because MURICA FIRST.

    • @michaelzellman2150
      @michaelzellman2150 6 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      that judge taught my 5 year old theoretical physicsi too, shes on track to finish her doctoral thesis next week..now if only she could learn multiplkashun :)

    • @MauroTamm
      @MauroTamm 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      He also told it takes time. Like 15 years give or take.

    • @cookiebandit18
      @cookiebandit18 6 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Fuck dude. If you take a glass of water in a skinny glass and pour it into a fat glass, then the kid will think there's magically less water.

    • @nikhilkasabe6862
      @nikhilkasabe6862 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      ColoringKaria I

  • @austinblessing2013
    @austinblessing2013 6 ปีที่แล้ว +518

    Ok, I am currently in law school. If a TWENTY-THREE year old (me) struggles to learn complex legal concepts then certainly a THREE year old would!!! There is a reason you need a bachelors degree and an admissions test to even be considered to enter law school...

    • @charlottem.1477
      @charlottem.1477 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Austin Blessing I read your comment before the corresponding part of the video played, so I was very confused.
      Then to my amazement that idiot said he has taught immigration law to 3&4 year olds... I can’t... I just, I mean……What?!?!

    • @MonicaG_
      @MonicaG_ 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Baron Von Grijffenbourg it's not that difficult to understand really. The U.S. government hates people like my family and my Abuelita (grandmother) in particular. It's demoralizing but most of us have known it all our lives. 😒😓😢😡

    • @Jonnyg325
      @Jonnyg325 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh please its not that difficult, you just have to review any case that might have any possible connection to yours, interview everyone involved is said cases (graverobbing is permissable) then have an encyclopedic knowledge of all cases. Then you can get started on trial prep.

    • @IstNurMeineMeinung
      @IstNurMeineMeinung 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      plaatsvervangende schaamte? It's "Fremdscham" in German, you know, because of the stereotypical efficiency.

    • @MedjayofDeath
      @MedjayofDeath 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Empathy in a basic sense

  • @mariyanafees9195
    @mariyanafees9195 6 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    Honestly, I love when John does pieces like this. It makes you realize just how fucked up our justice system can be, and the fact that a lot of us don't even know about this really says a lot.

    • @knivesmillions2913
      @knivesmillions2913 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You think this is fucked he hasn't even got to the legalized slavery in prisons (Which is against the 13th amendment) Or even Civil Asset forfeiture which is robbery by Cop. He also should address the Blue Shield policy which is an unwritten rule that protects ALL members of Law Enforcement from scrutiny.

    • @AndrewWilson-fb8ge
      @AndrewWilson-fb8ge 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      unwritten rule is just another word for crack pot conspiracy

    • @alajondro
      @alajondro 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      if memory serves he did do a piece on that

    • @cameron6262
      @cameron6262 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      If you came here illegally then I don't have sympathy for you if you end up in immigration court

    • @intelpntium
      @intelpntium 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      So you believe they don't have the right to proper representation in court? Even if they are a child? Someone who had no choice about coming here?

  • @lordvoldemort8904
    @lordvoldemort8904 6 ปีที่แล้ว +418

    I think the judges who sends them back should be held accountable if that person is harmed or killed.

    • @JonSmith-yq1dw
      @JonSmith-yq1dw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lord Voldemort lol what?

    • @Envy_Leviathan
      @Envy_Leviathan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      @@JonSmith-yq1dw you laugh but he has a point if you knew someone was going to be killed by sending them back to a place where they just got away from almost dying and did nothing to change that and sent them right back to that spot and not a different one you would be a accomplice at worst and a murderer at best

    • @jamesleduke873
      @jamesleduke873 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Even the Dark Lord has standards, apparently.

    • @flappy7373
      @flappy7373 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@jamesleduke873 he's a stone cold killer, but he only kills those who deserve it.
      i mean, you know, according to his ultra conservative sociopolitical views.
      pure bloods and all that jazz. can't muddy the waters with foreign blood!

    • @Lucy-fn9rj
      @Lucy-fn9rj 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      i want them to be charged with manslaughter but honestly the bar is so fuckin low i’d settle for a pay cut

  • @jasonchen4807
    @jasonchen4807 6 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    *Looks at etch-a-sketch* “Holy shit that’s so good” got me 😂😂😂

    • @bloodyeagleofcainhurst9295
      @bloodyeagleofcainhurst9295 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Jason Chen "oh we have a sketch artist, I bet she's terrible. Holy shit, that's so good."😂😂

  • @ernestomarcos0103
    @ernestomarcos0103 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1221

    Sixteen year olds can't comment on gun policy but three year olds can defend themselves in court. Seems legit.
    (Also wtf bringing up Slenderman. All this time trying to forget about it)

    • @JohnnyCrack
      @JohnnyCrack 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Works the other way too. We need to figure out if kids are adults or not.
      > Some people say 17-year-olds aren't old enough to make legislation
      > Some say 17-year-olds aren't old enough to represent themselves in court

    • @janiemcallister1845
      @janiemcallister1845 6 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      As John Oliver said, children shouldn’t have to worry about being murdered. That is horrifying that we have to clear that up, and that people don’t seem to understand that concept and say we are to young to understand and have a voice. They are always thinking about the children until the children think for themselves, then we are on our own.

    • @aohige
      @aohige 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      +Fae it's quite easy to understand where they stand once you realize those people in favor of deporting children to certain death do not see "foreigners" or in some cases "non-whites" as human beings.

    • @jonathanwalker6512
      @jonathanwalker6512 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Just gotta stop sticking up for other because why your focus on some bullshit we keep getting fucked smh wtf has a protest some for y'all get it right. Not a fucking thing because they will never let there hang fall! Remember they will always be more powerful! Lol setups a bitch ain't no justice for us 🤣🤣🤣🖕🏽🖕🏽 we die everyday quit the shit!! Learn people learn! Smfh.

    • @ray25lee
      @ray25lee 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This.

  • @Ace_Maus
    @Ace_Maus 6 ปีที่แล้ว +295

    I'm from Honduras, and I can attest to the fact that 70% of people in our country live situations like the one Elena was. Many of us try to leave legally, but can rarely find any opportunities. When I graduated from High School, I applied to college, and I could only go if I had a lot of money. No I have been 3 years applying to Master's Degrees and jobs, for which I know I qualify, but I need money to go study or my job applications are completely ignored. And I can only think, my dad didn't sacrifice his own living and comfort to pay for the best education I could have here and to pay for me to learn 5 languages so I had more chances to leave, just for me to end up stuck in a country where we can only go from home straight to work then back for the fear of being killed while earning almost minimum wage here.

    • @EG36
      @EG36 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Debz Baumaus ✊🏽✊🏽

    • @lordythegreat88
      @lordythegreat88 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      damn man 5 languages.. apply to work as a diplomat in an embassy haha

    • @Crazy-Chicken-Media
      @Crazy-Chicken-Media 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      So fix your country, if enough people get together you can change some shit. Running away from your problems will never work.

    • @zzzanon
      @zzzanon 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Cool story bro. /s

    • @dildoschwaggins6236
      @dildoschwaggins6236 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Vinny yeah right get off fucking TH-cam and do something. Easy for us to say but the point is valid

  • @Anvilman
    @Anvilman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +149

    Proverbs 29:7 The righteous person cares for the legal rights of the poor; the wicked does not understand such knowledge.

    • @mikeaft3585
      @mikeaft3585 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      YoU DOn'T HaVE tO TakE THe BibLe SO LitEralLy!

    • @flappy7373
      @flappy7373 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      is that really in there?

    • @socrattt
      @socrattt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@flappy7373 Yeah, that quotation is really in the Bible. See here: www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+29%3A7&version=NIV

    • @andrewharper1609
      @andrewharper1609 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      The righteous person doesn't bring Bible quotes to a legal battle.

    • @Anvilman
      @Anvilman 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@andrewharper1609 The Trump administration already lost the legal battle lol, there's no reason to make a legal argument. I simply couldn't think of a better way of trying to get my point across to the sort of people who vote for Trump.
      Also, this post is over a year old .

  • @PowahSlapEntertainmint
    @PowahSlapEntertainmint 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1932

    15:56 Not gonna lie, the banana joke was fire.

    • @destroyerblackdragon
      @destroyerblackdragon 6 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      Anti humor from a 3 year old.

    • @tiffyw92
      @tiffyw92 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      "No, it was a banana."

    • @thelastcube.
      @thelastcube. 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The Fuck, first animation channels, then Science channels, and now this?!?!?!?
      STAHP FOLLAHIN' ME!

    • @ShujathHussain0
      @ShujathHussain0 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      i didn't understand what kid said in the end? what was his answer?

    • @tiffyw92
      @tiffyw92 6 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      Shujath Hussain He said the banana is yellow.

  • @FourForceUniverse
    @FourForceUniverse 6 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    "Will you please just tell them that I didn't burn down the hospital?"
    *You bunned down the hospitaa*
    HAHAHAHA perfect.

  • @vahidfarahani5142
    @vahidfarahani5142 6 ปีที่แล้ว +537

    I keep hearing. Americans say "why America should solve the problem of other countries" or "why should we care". If so stop calling your president the leader of the free world. Stop meddling in other countries. Take your stand.also stop starting new wars in the name of democracy.

    • @aaronsorensen536
      @aaronsorensen536 6 ปีที่แล้ว +74

      They only want to 'solve problems' which their military-industrial complex can profit from.

    • @willj6392
      @willj6392 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      We don’t need to solve random countries’ problems, only ours and our allies. Hint: Middle East is our interest as they literally attacked us... and Kuwait was an ally

    • @vahidfarahani5142
      @vahidfarahani5142 6 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      Will Juneau at least google things before saying them. Midlle East didn't attack you (if you dont know middle east isn't a country) .it was al-Qaeda. You attacked Iraq to free them from Saddam Hussein (at least that was what your goverment said). Hence giving birth to Isis.and here's a fun fact, when you attack a country for some made up reason and raze it to the ground they tend to bocome hatefulle toward you which is a perfect condition for terrorist organizations to recruit them.

    • @willj6392
      @willj6392 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Citing state.gov. In 2016 22% of all terrorists were from Afghanistan, which we invaded to kill bin-Laden and Al Qaeda. There are way too many terrorist attacks from Middle Eastern countries so no I'm not referring to any specific attack.

    • @willj6392
      @willj6392 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol yes I'm aware that the middle east isn't a country. Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait, an American ally, thus American interests. And raze it to the ground? The military gave chocolate bars to kids for gods sake, we tried so hard to not get them to hate us, not our fault they are a backwards bunch of mindless jihadists.

  • @ragalyiakos
    @ragalyiakos 6 ปีที่แล้ว +728

    Im just imagining a kid who is already old enough to kinda get immigration law (about 14 and up) say the following:
    Judge: Would you like to designate a preferred country of removal?
    Kid: Yes
    J: And which one is that?
    Kid: The United States of America
    *kid dabs*

    • @blakejeffries3365
      @blakejeffries3365 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Ákos Ragályi I have so many friends who would 100% pull something like this

    • @Ubermensch9240
      @Ubermensch9240 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      And then that kid would die because nobody likes a smart ass. XD

    • @Miserablecollegekid
      @Miserablecollegekid 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      that's what we like to call in the legal profession, uno reverse card clause.

    • @Wysewolf
      @Wysewolf 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@Ubermensch9240 Not for nothing, but a smart ass of that caliber deserves to stay with us in the US. :)

    • @Ubermensch9240
      @Ubermensch9240 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Wysewolf Yeah. Yeah, hypothetically he should.

  • @maxhydekyle2425
    @maxhydekyle2425 6 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    Finally archer actually is in court, he's got so many things to stand trial for.

    • @neonflights5951
      @neonflights5951 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      kyle magaro you spelled Bob from Bobs Burgers funny

    • @Plex42
      @Plex42 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You mean Coach McGuirk from Home Videos?

    • @jjchilidogs1990
      @jjchilidogs1990 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Can of Vegetable from Wet Hot American Summer

    • @edenjung9816
      @edenjung9816 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So true. Love Archer. ;d

    • @bbrbbr-on2gd
      @bbrbbr-on2gd 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      kyle magaro
      Mini-mart employee from Family Guy.

  • @CezaMVO
    @CezaMVO 6 ปีที่แล้ว +776

    Yes the jokes throughout this are funny, but don’t let them distract you from the serious topic at hand. People that aren’t affected by this, love to talk about this subject like they know everything about it. I’m Mexican and a daca recipient. I have never had any type of trouble with the law, finished high school, pay my taxes, pay my car insurance, do everything I’m “suppose“ to be doing, and I’m still viewed as a criminal. That hurts. The ignorant people of the world love to say “just come here legally”, as if things are just that black and white. It’s easy to talk about something you have never had to deal with, and probably will never have to deal with, but the day that Americans have to switch places with us, most of them would fold under the pressure. Do you think people cross the boarder illegally because it’s fun? Because it’s easy? Because we want to come to America to cause problems? No. The majority of us just want the chance to find more opportunities that aren’t available where we come from. We aren’t going to sit until someone decides when and if we are good enough to receive a chance at a better way of life. The trump administration has proved time and time again, this isn’t about who is here illegally, it’s about pushing their brain dead racist bigot ideals. And if you disagree, you are blind to what is going on around you. But fine, hate me because I’m Mexican, hate me because I’m a “illegal immigrant”, kick us out, build your walls, but that won’t stop us. I will represent Mexico to the best of my ability every chance I get. We will forever fight until the very end.

    • @jester886
      @jester886 6 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      CezaMVO why wouldnt you fight like this for your own country which you were born in and go into the government and go for change ? Why run away and come here and bring problems to America where we cant even help fellows* americans ?

    • @jacklambert6453
      @jacklambert6453 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      thanks for the comment

    • @jester886
      @jester886 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jack Lambert who ya talkin to jack ? Lol me or the original comment

    • @alanp264
      @alanp264 6 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      Jester 88 The reason we come here is because we can't do that in mexico. Its either you're born into money or poor and the poor cant change much hints the reason we come to America

    • @metodichachov8653
      @metodichachov8653 6 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      It's not fair that orange-headed clown sits in the House and issues executive "orders" while the only thing he's qualified to do is to say "Ugghh yeaah"!

  • @SebastianSeanCrow
    @SebastianSeanCrow 6 ปีที่แล้ว +824

    How are children expected to be able to understand immigration law when grown adults can't?

    • @N0N0111
      @N0N0111 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Clearly a big SPONSORED agenda behind this, that has a lot corruption going on.

    • @jajaxaxa
      @jajaxaxa 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Maybe they've noticed that most adults are morons and that there is still some hope for the kids. But yeah it is ludicrous.

    • @antoinehanako3193
      @antoinehanako3193 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What is not understandable on it, though? You get in with valid visa, or you have a problem. That's all. Same as if you don't have a ticket in a train. You can ride without it, but only until someone finds out. Is it problematic for many? Yeah, but that's how the world works. Nobody has enough resources to cater for everyone for free. YET.

    • @wolfwoodphreak
      @wolfwoodphreak 6 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Antoine Hanako you do realize the average 4 year old cant even feed or bathe themselves reliably don't you?

    • @jajaxaxa
      @jajaxaxa 6 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Antoine Hanako Obviously you need a valid visa, but in many cases these kids aren't making any decisions to migrate or seek asylum.
      If you find a frightened and lost 4 year old alone on the train and they don't have a ticket you don't just kick them out at the next station and wish them good fortune do you? I hope not.

  • @ex-32
    @ex-32 6 ปีที่แล้ว +376

    "Mr. peanut domestic violence" is now the third google autofill result for "Mr. peanut" 😂

    • @Ubermensch9240
      @Ubermensch9240 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That was fast.

    • @ricochet4674
      @ricochet4674 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      the second one is now death. because they fucking killed him off in a commercial.

    • @Dalton1294
      @Dalton1294 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      It appeared on the bottom of my auto fill result

    • @cf6755
      @cf6755 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      grdgrgr

  • @Thee_Sinner
    @Thee_Sinner 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1609

    Archer S9E1: Sterling goes to Tot Bench

    • @Kingatje
      @Kingatje 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I had to scroll far too low for this comment! A thumbsup for you sir!

    • @DangerousUrNot
      @DangerousUrNot 6 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Is that the real voice actor? I thought his voice sounded familiar haha

    • @OnionChoppingNinja
      @OnionChoppingNinja 6 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      I never thought I'd see the day that Sterling Archer gets judged by a 4 year old.

    • @simbaonsteroids8836
      @simbaonsteroids8836 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      DangerousUrNot yeah that’s H John Benjamin

    • @SuperJJAlexander
      @SuperJJAlexander 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I thought the voice sounded familiar. Thanks for reminding me.

  • @ResidentTarantino
    @ResidentTarantino 6 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    *John Oliver:* "Remember, Slenderman already loves you the way you are."
    *That **_one_** audience member:* "Aww."

  • @sevenam9609
    @sevenam9609 6 ปีที่แล้ว +662

    Tot Bench looks acutally fun to watch 😂

    • @n2011b
      @n2011b 6 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Right? Especially if Archer keeps playing all of the defendants lol

    • @MaxAmSax
      @MaxAmSax 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Or Bob. He'd be great too.

    • @john-qp3wm
      @john-qp3wm 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Seven AM hot bench* you spelled it wrong

    • @greggasiorowski4025
      @greggasiorowski4025 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      MaxAmSax
      Fuck Bob, McGuirk or Satan even.

    • @buksy
      @buksy 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Tot Bench is actual situation in US now... but with smarter peoples

  • @AJ-of9yw
    @AJ-of9yw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    I'm too distracted by the fact the defendant in Totcourt was H.Jon Benjamin, the voice of Archer and Bob from bobs burgers

    • @heyysimone
      @heyysimone 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I thought i recognised Bob's voice!!

  •  6 ปีที่แล้ว +236

    - You've been charged with possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, how do you plead ?
    - ...Koala.

    • @CollinMcLean
      @CollinMcLean 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I would watch that show if it existed.

    • @JoyfulJasperJamesCalmClaire
      @JoyfulJasperJamesCalmClaire 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Will the koala write a letter to the judge?

    • @72marshflower15
      @72marshflower15 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Trucs en Série ...funny, but life's become so depressing in the US that we joke and find pleasure in the most batshit crazy forms of escapism...
      war on weed is just a proxy war by conservatives against liberals... by fixed thinkers against free thinkers...
      the founders surely must have dabbed...
      🤗😆😊

  • @vaylonkenadell
    @vaylonkenadell 6 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    That's H. Jon Benjamin, the voice actor for Sterling Archer, Bob from Bob's Burgers, and Coach McGuirk from Home Movies!

    • @TheMaddWatcher
      @TheMaddWatcher 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Vaylon Kenadell And the devil in Lucy daughter of the devil :)

    • @WatcherCobalt
      @WatcherCobalt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're damn right he is!

    • @JelloPuddingFood
      @JelloPuddingFood 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      THANK YOU! I KNEW he sounded familiar.

    • @gamesmaster0459
      @gamesmaster0459 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I knew it. I freaking knew it

    • @majinxenu9267
      @majinxenu9267 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      He's also that guy Carl from Family guy who did the impressions of Bob from Bob's Burgers ("Hi. I'm Bob from 'Bob's Burgers'.") and Archer from Archer ("Hi. I'm Archer from that show 'Archer'.").

  • @Donika691
    @Donika691 6 ปีที่แล้ว +306

    Why is it always about whether all or no immigrants should be allowed here or not? I think it's more about making immigration court run better so that the good, hardworking people who deserve a chance, can actually have a chance. I'm not saying we should just let in everyone, but we should at least take it more seriously so that those actually deserving of mercy don't just get murdered. What about the children too? If a 2 year-old is in court because they are an immigrant, should that 2 year-old be treated like an immigrant that we don't want here? It's a toddler for christ's sake.
    Basically it's not a matter of "let them all in" or "don't let anyone at all in" that's just two extremes, why don't we try something in the middle, like actually doing immigration court in a smart way.

    • @zerosysko
      @zerosysko 6 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      But now you're just being reasonable!

    • @christiandauz3742
      @christiandauz3742 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      The problem is that we have to replace ALL of our politicians with capable leaders
      Anybody who is mentally ill or corrupt shouldn't be a politician

    • @totalpovvortex
      @totalpovvortex 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Donika691 Common sense is dead.

    • @Donika691
      @Donika691 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Starset Phantom which is a very sad and unfortunate thing. I mourn you "common sense"

    • @marvium-howthingswork723
      @marvium-howthingswork723 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Donika691 indeed. Take all benefits no one since we cant help all which leads to segregation and poverty

  • @JoelErhart
    @JoelErhart 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    The more absurd reality gets, the more I want to laugh and cry at this channel. Hilarious, and absolutely devastating. How is this real?

  • @recombinantgestalt
    @recombinantgestalt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    As a minor I had to appear for curfew violation and the Judge both did not allow my mother, a Legal Assistant, to so much as speak to me nor would he explain any terminology he used or give any context.
    I can't fathom how minors are given no support whatsoever to argue their case especially for deportation.

    • @PorQpine215
      @PorQpine215 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well, you see, children aren't people yet, so you can't explain things like this to them because it will affect their development I'm pretty sure.

    • @Cazy243
      @Cazy243 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      PorQpine 215 Just to be sure... That's sarcasm, right?

    • @maythesciencebewithyou
      @maythesciencebewithyou 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How can that even be lega? The US sucks. Not because it is ruled by deplorables, but because deplorables are everywhere who want this.

    • @MyChemRomance
      @MyChemRomance 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      PorQpine 215 The only time they consider children as humans is when they're still in the womb. After that, they're just lazy bums mooching off the system.

    • @wilddogspam
      @wilddogspam 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      May the Science be with You
      It happens in many places:
      Because it's a civil court, many of the constitutional guarantees for fair trials are substantially weekend. Then, in the case of the curfew violation, they're trying to decide what's "best" for the minor, so they don't actually need to defend themselves from being "helped".
      It happens all the time because of some fucked up paternalism. Basically, stfu, daddy the state know best.

  • @AlexanderMartinez-mk6cl
    @AlexanderMartinez-mk6cl 6 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    When the girl said pizza she was actually trying to go to Italy to vote for John

  • @MRblazedBEANS
    @MRblazedBEANS 6 ปีที่แล้ว +266

    This shit makes me sick to my stomach, these people deserve more.

    • @JNEGRON-hl3dc
      @JNEGRON-hl3dc 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      And I deserve a million dollars, but for some reason no one is giving it to me.

    • @503leafy
      @503leafy 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      And who exactly will pay for it? No one.

    • @costakeith9048
      @costakeith9048 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They deserve summary execution without trial for violating our frontiers and invading our country.

    • @JNEGRON-hl3dc
      @JNEGRON-hl3dc 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      503leafy- That is exactly my point! Those who claim 'they deserve more' are quick to give out other peoples money.

    • @xfranczeskax
      @xfranczeskax 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The problem with this type of thinking is that once you've established non-citizens don't due trial and care, some smart-ass is gonna convince you who else is non-citicez, or less-citizen or not-fully-citizen. I'd thought America just kinda got rid of that not too long ago at least on paper, but I'm sure you've gonna find your nxt target group. Soon being born in America won't be enough to be a citizen, maybe only those making say million a year are actually worthy of that? And for the rest it's gonna be the hunger games. Don't scoff, blacks and Jews have seen it all and soon some other group will. An YOU might just be part of it, or your kid. What then? Bottom line: More rights for all means more rights for all. A civil country only gets stronger by extending rights of ever more. Less rights for some leads to less rights for some more. You really wanna go down that road?

  • @maraiilavan7012
    @maraiilavan7012 4 ปีที่แล้ว +222

    Just a btw, Johnny Depp has recordings of his wife talking about abusing him, so hopefully now that the case is pretty much closed, we don’t have to blame the victim anymore.

    • @far2ez539
      @far2ez539 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Doesn't jive with Oliver's agenda to admit that a woman is capable of flaws. Sorry. Check his video some time on the "Wage Gap" if you want to see real quality sexism.

    • @Samer911
      @Samer911 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@far2ez539 The "Wage Gap" does not exist and has been debunkt dozens off times.

    • @rohitr9400
      @rohitr9400 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well, if he has those recordings they def didn't work in the English courts.

    • @stevencampbell7394
      @stevencampbell7394 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Incel waiting room here

    • @rohitr9400
      @rohitr9400 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Samer911 , proof?

  • @Ralphfish4
    @Ralphfish4 6 ปีที่แล้ว +182

    Well that was depressing

    • @NobleTenz
      @NobleTenz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ralphfish4 CHEECH

    • @bg8163
      @bg8163 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂True

  • @nicovank
    @nicovank 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1262

    4 year olds can learn law but 17 yo can't be taken seriously protesting against guns.

    • @mats7492
      @mats7492 6 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      who is "you"..some morons on the internet isnt an entire generation...

    • @ryanscottnix
      @ryanscottnix 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Not agreeing with their opinions about gun control is *NOT THE SAME* as not taking them seriously. When people start their debate with, "assault rifles should be banned," it's time to tune out; they're just not informed well enough on the topic to speak on it.

    • @rshs5821
      @rshs5821 6 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      Lockheed - explain how that "banning assault rifles" is a bad idea. I'll wait

    • @rshs5821
      @rshs5821 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Lockheed - your only argument is that you like guns. That's it. Don't give me that bullshit about stopping a unruly government cuz that's a load of shit.

    • @ryanscottnix
      @ryanscottnix 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @RSh s - - If you can't tell me why "banning assault rifles" is an idiotic statement, then it tells me how uninformed you are on the subject. Assault rifles are fully automatic guns... Fully automatic guns are already banned.
      Tyrannical governments have stripped their people of the right to carry weapons in the past, so ya, there's that. There's also the aspect of self defense, and my right to protect myself. If a bad guy with a gun wants to hurt me and my family, what would you have me protect us with? ... A knife? Also, quick question: have you seen the statistics on lives saved vs. lives taken with guns? It's pretty eye-opening.

  • @samgopnik6638
    @samgopnik6638 6 ปีที่แล้ว +378

    15:56 For anyone doesn't understand the kid here's the subtitle
    Kid : What is the different between a banana and a cow.
    Man : What is the different between banana and a cow? I don't know. What?
    Kid : Banana is yellow

    • @TheLe016
      @TheLe016 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Arif Aiman Wow. Just wow.

    • @Krovahn
      @Krovahn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      He’s not wrong.

    • @tonikross2725
      @tonikross2725 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      damn how long you have being an interpreter?

    • @spock7945
      @spock7945 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Toni Kross, to be honest i rewound and re-played it twice after hearing the elder/man repeat the question and did get what the kid said (that a banana is yaeyooh)
      *nonetheless, thanks to Arif bhai for posting it here!*

  • @taylor3557
    @taylor3557 5 ปีที่แล้ว +623

    That Johnny Depp reference did not age well at all

    • @chrisfoley1065
      @chrisfoley1065 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Marxism-Taylorism haha came here to say that

    • @kirkjohnson2924
      @kirkjohnson2924 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Yeah...I’m sure John didn’t know...

    • @chumuheha
      @chumuheha 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Neither did the Mr. Peanut one

    • @BrainbusterLeckie
      @BrainbusterLeckie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +118

      @@kirkjohnson2924 Exactly, he didn't KNOW. He just believed someone who made a claim with no evidence. Something he constantly shits on others for doing.
      I'm a fan of John Oliver, but it's perfectly valid to criticize him for this, lol.

    • @redfedalpha24
      @redfedalpha24 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@BrainbusterLeckie The joke might need an apology, (even though its obvious both were abusing the other) but it has no actual bearing on the rest of the segment.

  • @vahidmirkhani
    @vahidmirkhani 6 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    Constantino Morales case broke my heart. A man of law.....

    • @fluidthought42
      @fluidthought42 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Fourty Four
      Non sequitur.
      I'm not speaking Mexican, if you were wondering.

  • @PramitChatterjee1993
    @PramitChatterjee1993 6 ปีที่แล้ว +310

    "What's the difference b/w a cow and a banana?"
    "A banana's yellow"
    Word!

    • @bighawn2319
      @bighawn2319 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Pramit Chatterjee whats the difference between an orange?

    • @Carewolf
      @Carewolf 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It's orange?

    • @barrocaspaula
      @barrocaspaula 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Smart kid!

    • @hamzaktk18
      @hamzaktk18 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Took me a jillion years to get it.

    • @KevinP32270
      @KevinP32270 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pramit Chatterjee LOLOL

  • @omarcarrillonavarro6916
    @omarcarrillonavarro6916 6 ปีที่แล้ว +248

    I am the child of an undocumented immigrant, my father, while my mother was here legally. Thanks to my mother, even though I was born in Mexico, I was easily able to get my papers and all my certifications by the age of 3. My father, on the other hand, had to deal with these courts, and the stories that John here spoke of hit so close to home for me because I had uncles and cousins denied asylum here, because they were brought here through illegal means, later back in Mexico we would receive calls from our family saying that they were killed. My father had originally come here in 1985 just before his 10th birthday, he did not understand English and was put through schooling for it. When I was born my father decided it was time for him to get his certifications, so he’ll be able to work freely and be able to support me. The immigration court we had gone to denied his first hearing, so my mother told him to appeal and try again. This time they did hear him out, but we had to wait 15 years before he was able to get anything and in that time he was not able to leave the country or go out of state or else he would have to start over again. My father had scraped up whatever money he could doing odd jobs and working lawns and the fields so he could pay for a lawyer. Thankfully he was able to get one, for him and his mother. If he didn’t he knew that he would’ve been in some serious trouble, if there’s one thing about America that needs to change it has to be this damn system, I understand how difficult it must be to change, but this is just ridiculous, 15 years before any hearing or something to help someone? Americans, I am not trying to bash or outright hate on any of you, but this system is some serious BULLSHIT. Go ahead and call me a “libtard” or whatever the hell you call liberals when they speak their minds, but listen to all these cases and determine for yourselves whether or not this system is in need of some modifications to modernize it.

    • @mydixiewrechedagn
      @mydixiewrechedagn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Omar Carrillo Navarro, go fix your country you fucking coward! It's not America job to wipe your ass

    • @Trixareforkidsvegeta
      @Trixareforkidsvegeta 6 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      I will never understand how people like you 2 seem unable to have empathy for other people. They deserve everything we do, where we are born shouldn't effect that at all.

    • @GraphiteShores
      @GraphiteShores 6 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      Your father is a good man. I am constantly ashamed of the United States.

    • @JuQui228
      @JuQui228 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Never Ends earned it from the backs of immigrants, you mean. Russian bots are the wooooorst! They just repeat the same 4 things.

    • @Tibbles11
      @Tibbles11 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      But do you understand that your father came here illegally? That it is illegal to do this? I feel for you and I hate the Immigration court system but America puts more emphasis on citizens who came here through legal channels or were born here...

  • @caad5258
    @caad5258 6 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    I'm getting flash backs to "Papers Please"...

    • @fredarok579
      @fredarok579 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Glory to ArzTOTzka.

    • @richmondrk2
      @richmondrk2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@fredarok579 Long live the Potato man.

    • @nobodys_winds6580
      @nobodys_winds6580 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      *GLORY TO COBRASTAN*

    • @yukitakaoni007
      @yukitakaoni007 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Glory to USA!
      Denied your immigration in this country that was founded by immigrants

    • @bumble872
      @bumble872 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      DETAINED!!!

  • @7supergirl
    @7supergirl 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I'm 97% sure the arsonist on "Tot Bench" is the voice of Bob in Bob's Burgers and I'm living for it. Also, it's awful that children have to represent themselves in court and even more disgusting that some people genuinely believe that 3-4-year-olds have the capacity to defend themselves in court. Some people are just completely devoid of compassion, and Jack H. Weil is one of those people.

    • @thehoove100
      @thehoove100 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You are correct, that would be H Jon Benjamin. I recognised him from Archer.

  • @kebzero
    @kebzero 6 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    I think anyone who are okay with children representing themselves in court should have all their court cases and minor offenses brought up in Tot Bench.
    That parking fine won't be something you shrug at when they deport you to Pizza for it, with no possibility of supper before bedtime.

    • @aeis1056
      @aeis1056 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      kebzero Would be better if everyone 4 and under who had to go to court and represent themselves went to tot bench. That way it would be a fair trial. Also hilarious.

    • @vgamesx1
      @vgamesx1 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      I don't know about fair, little kids can be mean too you know...

  • @ChrisAwake
    @ChrisAwake 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1247

    TOT BENCH!

  • @nahhfam7678
    @nahhfam7678 4 ปีที่แล้ว +340

    That Johnny Depp one may need an apology with recent revelations.

    • @mondhase5915
      @mondhase5915 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Yeah, that one did NOT age well!

    • @saraann23
      @saraann23 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      definitely

    • @birdn4t0r7
      @birdn4t0r7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      top ten non-offensive jokes that aged like milk

    • @Krotas_DeityofConflicts
      @Krotas_DeityofConflicts 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Immediately looked for this type of comment, assoonas he said it.
      Certainly aged badly

    • @jessicalaszlo5152
      @jessicalaszlo5152 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      very much so

  • @nessarolla
    @nessarolla 6 ปีที่แล้ว +829

    My uncle was deported after 5 years of waiting and didn't have anything when he went back to Mexico. He had been raped in jail, made bad choices and ended up in a gang and a couple weeks later he was found dead from blunt force trauma. He had lived in the U.S. for almost 20 years, had done nothing wrong and that's how his life ended.

    • @FranciscoSanchez-sb3wb
      @FranciscoSanchez-sb3wb 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      My cousin is in a imagratraion jail

    • @smilesmile-xl9cm
      @smilesmile-xl9cm 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Are you guys serious?

    • @debbiegross3136
      @debbiegross3136 6 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      LochNess 64 I am so so sorry for your loss. 😢

    • @syrtech121
      @syrtech121 6 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      Kevin Schmidt how did he break the law? You do know that people under DACA are being deported. Also if your ignorant ass can read, he was living in US for 20 years. 20 years ago there were many ways to get into the US which were legal, but no longer considered legal today

    • @debbiegross3136
      @debbiegross3136 6 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      Kevin Schmidt It amazes me how many idiots there are. And you are definitely one of them. You are heartless and soulless. But keep sending out your negative vibes and I promise you, in one way or another, karma is going to bite you in the ass and she isn’t going to let go.

  • @SLEEPYJK
    @SLEEPYJK 6 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Even having a 15 year old represent themselves is disgusting.. The fact there are 2 and 3 year old makes me feel even worse about our countries immigration policies and enforcement.

    • @umpygoodness2369
      @umpygoodness2369 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      NOT ONE SHRED OF ANY OF THIS IS LEGAL OR CONSTITUTIONAL, but John and others will NOT TELL SOCIETY THE REAL TRUTH.
      The #1 criminal in American has ALWAYS BEEN THE GOVT.
      Because you can't call 911 when you're ROBBED BY POLITICIANS.

  • @ZenPaladin
    @ZenPaladin 6 ปีที่แล้ว +205

    Anyone who says a 2 to 3 year old is ok to represent themselves either is not a parent or is a lawyer...

    • @scaper8
      @scaper8 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I'd argue not even a human.

    • @scaper8
      @scaper8 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      So, yeah, a lawyer.

    • @roguecactus7
      @roguecactus7 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      And some lawyers become judges and so on and so forth.
      Just a little boys’ club and the reason our justice system is broken. If you see something wrong, sue it. Fucking babies. 😀👍

    • @lukas.caldwell
      @lukas.caldwell 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They aren’t citizens therefore don’t deserve a lawyer

    • @lukas.caldwell
      @lukas.caldwell 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      radio tech genius

  • @fravatel
    @fravatel 6 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    How is something like this possible in the United States? People that feel themselves empowered to uphold "the law" - even if the law is obviously insane, isn't this what Hannah Ahrendt wrote about in her great work "the banality of evil". Keep addressing this, mr. Oliver and hopefully some sane group of people can stop this nonsense from happening.

    • @Kpimpmaster
      @Kpimpmaster 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Keep dreaming pal the people who change things won’t and people who would change things can’t

    • @bas_ee
      @bas_ee ปีที่แล้ว

      Because America is too big for its own good. Such a "super" power is way too fragile for shit like this, awful gun laws, school shootings, homeless problems, disgusting abortion laws, etc. to happen.

  • @MkWii17
    @MkWii17 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I can't believe there are people who actually think a three year old can understand any form of law. Let alone a poor child who is already under stress from the immigration process and from potential turmoil in their native country

    • @maythesciencebewithyou
      @maythesciencebewithyou 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They clearly don't. They just want to get rid of those three year olds. Imagine they grow up and start "stealing" jobs, or god forbid manage to build a better life for themselfes than the deplorables have.

  • @joelayoub2774
    @joelayoub2774 6 ปีที่แล้ว +165

    Those judges need to be held accountable for the violence they allowed.

    • @aluisious
      @aluisious 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No they don't. We don't owe someone from Ecuador shit just because they're standing here. We cannot solve the world's problems by letting everyone in here.

    • @LadyKillerGamer
      @LadyKillerGamer 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      nice no morals or ethics.

    • @stevens1-o7s
      @stevens1-o7s 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah let's bring people here so they can bring their fucked up culture over here and have 10 kids each that will fill up jobs you could possibly have. Why does this guy run to the USA? He could have ran to Guatemala, Ecuador, Brazil, Chile, Dominican Republic, countries that speak his own language and the cartel isn't at. Why do we need to take them on?

    • @callmeishmael4659
      @callmeishmael4659 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's not our job ie our courts to babysit the world. Oh no, there's a gang after you? You can't run to your mom (US) and expect her to keep you safe. How about you make better choices in your life so that you aren't being targeted? What life isn't fair? You don't say

    • @stevens1-o7s
      @stevens1-o7s 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Not everybody can simply avoid the gangs, but it is funny nobody runs to Argentina or Chile, all these people from Honduras and places that aren't even close to the border have no reason to be coming up here other than to get our benefits

  • @Widdekuu91
    @Widdekuu91 6 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    6:50
    I work with kids and I sériously understood most of the 'unintelligible' statements of the kids.
    They were still not 'qualified' to be in court on their own, but this is what she meant: (again, I'm serious)
    7:04; "I placed a tie over fairies"
    Meaning; She put a tie on the fairyballoon she had.
    "7:05 "to ?????"
    Meaning; To tie them on my wrist and she (?) blue."
    Basically, she made sure the fairyballoon would not escape.

    • @MethosOhio
      @MethosOhio 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Sounds like you should sign up to be an immigration judge. Obviously they need more of them.

    • @desi1790
      @desi1790 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Your like the toddler whisperer !!

    • @Widdekuu91
      @Widdekuu91 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      +MethosOhio
      Haha, thanks :) Well I live in the Netherlands, but who knows, if I ever visit America, I will see if they've got a spot for me.
      +desi1790
      Thanks ^_^ I just realised btw that the girl might've meant 'blew' instead of 'blue.' Maybe the wind blew the balloon around on the string. OR the balloon was blue, either one of those.

  • @mikotomisaka8714
    @mikotomisaka8714 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    speaking as an English Teacher in Taiwan who teaches 3 year olds too, I will be the first to say, that whatever judge says they can teach immigration law to 3 year olds, must think they'll have 5 years to completely teach it to them for 5 hours a day.

  • @diginaderose9618
    @diginaderose9618 6 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    Seriously teaching 3 year olds and 4 year olds Immigration laws ?That Immigration Judge thinks the kids could represent themselves in court. Are u kidding??I mean come on...seeing those cute kids speak should have rung bells in his thick head. ...Sad.😣

    • @Splucked
      @Splucked 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Lawyer? No. Much worse. He was an Assistant Chief Immigration Judge.

    • @yaceya
      @yaceya 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      He told "it will take a lot of time, but it is possible". If by "a lot of time" he meant 10-20 years he would be factually correct.

    • @marving.8868
      @marving.8868 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I mean if 3 year olds can do it nobody needs him... Should be replaced by a 3 year old

    • @aaronmolly4332
      @aaronmolly4332 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They should make the kid he, "taught" to represent him in a case. Lol

    • @diginaderose9618
      @diginaderose9618 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Spluck It Ya my bad.He indeed was an Asst.Chief Immigration Judge.Thank u for correcting me buddy.

  • @Epags1996
    @Epags1996 6 ปีที่แล้ว +204

    Remember when america was a melting pot for immigrants fleeing horrible situations in their home countries. Pepperidge farm remembers

    • @jessetorres8738
      @jessetorres8738 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Yeah, but not with racist Republican politicians in charge it ain't.

    • @BillyBob-oi9kl
      @BillyBob-oi9kl 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Thats really never been the case, i mean sure it was easier to legally immigrate to this country in the past; however, all people that weren't british have all faced discrimination, so they weren't really welcomed with open arms.

    • @here_we_go_again2571
      @here_we_go_again2571 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Eric Pagliari,
      Ever hear of Winter Garden or Ellis Island?
      *People were not admitted if they did not
      have a sponsor (no welfare at the time)
      who would vouch for them or proof of
      a job awaiting them.
      *Anarchists, criminals, the insane, the
      ill were not allowed entry.
      Build the wall!
      Stop the illegal immigration!

    • @martin22336
      @martin22336 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Eric Pagliari isis members would love to
      Come here legally what aren't they immigrants too. And yet here you are complaining about an issue that has changed since 9/11 ignorance is a killer just like cancer

    • @Epags1996
      @Epags1996 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Here_We_Go_Again2 Yes my grandparents immigrated to this country from Germany after world war 2. My grandfathers sponsor was his employer, that was back in the day where all you needed was proof that you would work. Now we have over complicated the system to the point where people chose to just not become a citizen. The wall will do nothing except waste taxpayer money, i mean what else are republicans good for. Most illegal immigrants came here legally on a work visa, and then proceeded to overstay the visa, but instead of putting money towards departments to better regulate that mess, you want to build a pointless wall. Its like the ship is sinking and instead of plugging the hole, you want to drop the anchor.

  • @BabarKhanJaved
    @BabarKhanJaved 6 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    From the story:
    "Back in her hometown, Elena was assaulted at gunpoint by the man she’d fled.
    He tortured her, holding a lighter to her skin.
    Other gang members cracked her thirteen-year-old son’s skull.
    She fled, with her kids, to a tobacco-farming town in western Honduras, where the man who’d been pursuing her found her again.
    Once more, she escaped to the U.S.
    This time, authorities agreed that Elena’s fear-and the threat to her kids’ lives-was credible.
    But, like Rosaleda, she is barred from receiving asylum because of her prior deportation."

    • @grmmth3
      @grmmth3 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Babar Khan Javed set up to fail!

    • @achehex
      @achehex 6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Jesus Christ that is horrifying.

    • @mydixiewrechedagn
      @mydixiewrechedagn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      why should I give a fuck? It's not my fault these people vote in socialist government that turn into hell. If they won't fix their own country I don't want them her. How many ILLEGALS are living at your house right now?

    • @adj_ustment
      @adj_ustment 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Dan hates the man did your parents hate you? Were you abused? I don't get it. How are you this much of a human piece of shit?

    • @Trixareforkidsvegeta
      @Trixareforkidsvegeta 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      How can you have so little compassion for another person, that is just evil.

  • @asrexproductions
    @asrexproductions 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I'm so glad John Oliver chose to end this segment with "Tot Bench," because I was literally in tears prior to that. #worldsocruel 😭

    • @Rattrap007
      @Rattrap007 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I would watch the hell out of Tot Bench. Hilariously adorable.

  • @ZhangtheGreat
    @ZhangtheGreat 6 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    There's one part that this segment doesn't even cover: the number of LEGAL residents and US _citizens_ who erroneously get deported by the courts because of how quickly each decision is made. The Adam Ruins Everything episode on immigration courts covers one of these stories. Here's another: news.vice.com/article/the-us-keeps-mistakenly-deporting-its-own-citizens

    • @RustinChole
      @RustinChole 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      ZhangtheGreat thanks for the link. Speechless.😕

    • @torntokoroa
      @torntokoroa 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      ZhangtheGreat because thats a whooooole other thing embedded into it. Like. To discuss both of them at once is fuckin insane.

  • @adrianoines521
    @adrianoines521 6 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    This is super important! I grew up with an immigration lawyer as a mom and trying to explain this to people is a pain in the ass.

  • @reinerjung1613
    @reinerjung1613 6 ปีที่แล้ว +288

    How can bringing people before a judge without a layer be constitutional in a Western country? And how can it be possible that kids have to go there at all? This is clear against the Convention on the Rights of Children (CRC). Oh wait, the US has not ratified that. Great USA. It is even more heartless than not having the metric system is stupid. BTW the US is the ONLY (real) country which did not ratify the CRC. Even North Korea ratified that.

    • @grmmth3
      @grmmth3 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Reiner Jung that just proves how great Amerikkka is!

    • @torilee6677
      @torilee6677 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      “(Real)”? What does that mean exactly?

    • @Lynsey17
      @Lynsey17 6 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      As far as I can tell, the US doesn't really have human rights, they have citizen* rights. So anything less than a citizen, you get nothing.
      *I mean, being real they have white, male citizen rights. Every step you take away from being one of those is a lower level of rights. The first case mentioned was a WOC so I'm sure a gang member didn't kill anyone or assault her at gun point - she's just his bitter ex trying to ruin his life.

    • @omarabuaita3858
      @omarabuaita3858 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Lynsey17 no such thing as white male citizen rights...

    • @reinerjung1613
      @reinerjung1613 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      It is set in () for a reason. For example, places like Gibraltar have not signed it, but that is part of the UK to some extend, but not to completely. Ask a British person for help.

  • @robjohnson2141
    @robjohnson2141 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Love the court room toddler skit... Bt my heart definitely goes out to those who simply wanna work and have a good life ,especially in cases where they just wanna live...

  • @MythicalRedFox
    @MythicalRedFox 6 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    I love how "law and order" Republicans seem to have no quarrels with kangaroo courts like this, and don't seem to care how much asylum law is trampled on.

    • @aaronsorensen536
      @aaronsorensen536 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      If you talk to these people, you will quickly realize that due process is not an important part of their 'law and order' society.

    • @Justanotherconsumer
      @Justanotherconsumer 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      “Law and order” is a dog whistle for racism, it doesn’t have anything related to law or order.

    • @bigshow771
      @bigshow771 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      To a Republican, "law and order" means that a wealthy white person did nothing wrong...everyone else is fucked.

    • @angolin9352
      @angolin9352 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It's because most diehard Republicans don't care about the rule of law, they care about authority. By demanding that the rule of law be followed, you're disrespecting authority and are thus a Bad Person. Once you're a Bad Person, anything can be done to you and it's not a problem to them.

    • @jwonz2054
      @jwonz2054 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Holy echo chamber in these comments!
      First, non-citizens do not have legal representation rights. (Perhaps they should, but that would be taxing to a country they do not belong to)
      Second, asylum laws do not open a country to free immigration. If someone fleeing danger has other options, they should explore those before being granted US citizenship. For example, 12:11, she did not consider other cities (or other neighboring countries for that matter).

  • @DeterminedDIYer
    @DeterminedDIYer 6 ปีที่แล้ว +541

    There are a lot of heartless people in our country. I'm ashamed. Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door! The Statue of Liberty

    • @georgeb.wolffsohn30
      @georgeb.wolffsohn30 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Beth Ann amen.

    • @seeamerica1
      @seeamerica1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Sadly it won't happen with this administration which prioritizes money over people's rights. Vote them out in Nov!

    • @felicitousfeline9956
      @felicitousfeline9956 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I totally agree. What makes/made our country great was our compassion.

    • @DeterminedDIYer
      @DeterminedDIYer 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Khashon Haselrig not all white people are the enemy. Like me.

    • @pragmaticindependent3514
      @pragmaticindependent3514 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      that is a outdated saying that was to encourage immigration and to utilize the opportunity’s that our country HAD we don’t have the same circumstances today our immigration process needs major reformation but ppl are flocking to the US for the wrong reasons its not trumps fault these ppl chose not to follow our laws if you truly have good intentions follow our laws and wait the process taking it into you’re own hands is disgraceful to those waiting to be heard

  • @opheliawhite9740
    @opheliawhite9740 6 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    Finally! This is why I love John Oliver. He puts the light on situations that really matter. He calls on the BS in our society so that we can see what actually happens.

    • @elenorblacksmith362
      @elenorblacksmith362 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He partially does. I appreciate his commentary, but he did give Hillary Clinton a free pass with she publicly stated that the children fleeing the violence in Honduras should be sent back. She said it twice in 2 presidential 2016 debates. Not a word from John Oliver.

    • @lohitjagarapu9351
      @lohitjagarapu9351 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Elenor Blacksmith: Damn, I didn't know that.

    • @kadeemdemills3152
      @kadeemdemills3152 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      he's still a democrat, even if he doesn't endorse them oppenly he wont speak against them as much.

    • @shykittyfool
      @shykittyfool 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Steven Scummy you speak from experience no doubt

    • @R2D2xC26
      @R2D2xC26 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +Steven Scummy wow you sound like Jack Wiel

  • @MCDexX
    @MCDexX 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Best LWT celebrity cameo ever. Jon Benjamin + toddlers = pure entertainment

    • @Mikeyprs21
      @Mikeyprs21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      IKR but all I hear it Archer when he talks haha! waiting for him to Scream LANAAAA! 😂😂😂

  • @ducheswannabe
    @ducheswannabe 6 ปีที่แล้ว +277

    How on earth did America become a global powerhouse while it was/is so dysfunctional in so many ways?? such a paradox....

    • @clambake2734
      @clambake2734 6 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      duchesswannabe Our war economy is strong

    • @nh5739
      @nh5739 6 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      1. Slavery
      2. A great PR campaign

    • @maythesciencebewithyou
      @maythesciencebewithyou 6 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      Being isolated, having vast natural recourses and intellectuals fleeing Europe because of WW1 ans WW2 gave them the edge. Also they did not suffer through the World Wars as all other nations on the planet did. So after WW2 they had the best starting line for a new era.

    • @yellowbeard1
      @yellowbeard1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It is dysfunction for the oppressed, paradise for the wealthy and powerful.

    • @Warden_Vtel
      @Warden_Vtel 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      duchesswannabe I think we're trying to be the new Rome, I'm not sure though

  • @user-cv3fu6xv5c
    @user-cv3fu6xv5c 6 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    Is it mostly upbringing that causes a lack of compassion and empathy in people? (It’s baffling that some people can’t even imagine what it’d be like to be born in different situations and what they’d have to go through just to live).

    • @AndrewWilson-fb8ge
      @AndrewWilson-fb8ge 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      yea asking people in their country to fix their government and economy like the people in America decades and hundreds of years ago did is an obvious display of American privilege

    • @camelopardalis84
      @camelopardalis84 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not trying to be a prick here and mixing up different issues that don't have to do with one another, but it might sound like it: In the US corporal punishments ("disciplining" childring with the aid of belts and such) and throwing "misbehaving" teenagers out before they can earn a living wage seem to be WAY more common and accepted as normal in the US than in other countries. And it's not just the US. In South Korea you are as a parent allowed to beat your children half to death and there are many South Koreans with no compassion at all for North Korean defectors. I see a connection there.

    • @asdfasdf154
      @asdfasdf154 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Fiddlesticks
      The problem is that everyone sympathizes with them. BUT we can't take care of everyone. Or jeopardize a system that keeps things in order. You really have to be a realist. We have, just like any other country, a immigration policy in first place. I really hate when people (not you) say that USA is heartless or Republicans are heartless because they don't want to help other people. They are living in a fantasy world.

    • @Henk14789
      @Henk14789 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      They show some horrible examples, and putting children in front of a judge on their own is just unbelievable. And even the cases where they say horrible things have happened, what proof is shown there? Because I bet most immigrants, be it genuine or economic put up a story like that. So you can imagine the judges taking that as bullshit.

    • @YumLemmingKebabs
      @YumLemmingKebabs 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      asdf asdf Except this isn't about protecting systems that keep things in order. It's about protecting systems that keep a certain group in power. It's the same bullshit we've seen in basically every regime ever, Nero's Rome had Christians, USSR and China had intellectuals, free thinkers, and capitalists. Nazi Germany had Jews, Roma, Homosexuals, and various others, the Taliban had westerners and people who didn't subscribe to their specific form of Islam. Even if we really couldn't afford to let people stay in our country and work because that apparently somehow costs more than imprisoning and deporting them it wouldn't change the fact that the reason why politicians in the party of big business are doing this is because they need a scapegoat to take the sins of their corporate masters while they continue to enrich themselves at our expense.

  • @boxertest
    @boxertest 6 ปีที่แล้ว +260

    TOT Bench HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA (The guy is the voice for Archer and Bob in Bob's Burger's)

    • @kro1146
      @kro1146 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      boxertest I had a feeling it was ^.^ I could tell by the end when he finally raised his voice tho lol, Archer is never that quiet.

    • @ericreese7792
      @ericreese7792 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      H. John Benjamin, unlike nearly every other cast member in Archer, looks nothing like his character.

    • @christenford3864
      @christenford3864 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      boxertest I thought his voice sounded familiar, thanks for placing him for me

    • @kalokalo4
      @kalokalo4 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you! I was wondering for ages where i knew this voice from :D

    • @Opine_Divine
      @Opine_Divine 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Danger zone!

  • @GamingOB
    @GamingOB 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    I can't believe they'd sentence Archer to prison for 1 jillion years

    • @sirius1696
      @sirius1696 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Bob Belcher didn't deserve this

    • @thechosenone1533
      @thechosenone1533 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Don't do the crime of you can't do the time.

  • @panterino
    @panterino 6 ปีที่แล้ว +155

    This guy has so much material, now I know why John Oliver came to the United States.

    • @MyBichSustained
      @MyBichSustained 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yea,he came legally!

    • @barrocaspaula
      @barrocaspaula 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The material is excellent. In the UK the available material is very good too but, it lacks variety.

    • @lokostill
      @lokostill 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Don't forget, He started as a lowly extra on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart but you might have a point.

  • @Graceful_Peaceful
    @Graceful_Peaceful 6 ปีที่แล้ว +825

    How could they do that to the children?! That is so wrong!!

    • @RYN988
      @RYN988 6 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      This is what happens when 'Murica mentality takes over the federal government.

    • @masonnelson6710
      @masonnelson6710 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      But screw the adults though, right? Once you hit 18, we don't care 'bout you no more.

    • @PkKingX11
      @PkKingX11 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Modern country, ancient laws

    • @jomonticristo5696
      @jomonticristo5696 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      wake up the trump era wants these people and children gone dead or alive they don't care how it happens or how broken the system they use to do it is there was another origination that felt the same about the jews it didn't end so well for them

    • @ghost7519
      @ghost7519 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      no whats rong is the fact these parents gamble on the hearts of americans and just send there infant kids up north to be arrested by authorities and face deportation and a grueling court hearing

  • @the1flym459
    @the1flym459 6 ปีที่แล้ว +640

    Another great segment by British Milhouse

    • @virenvs905
      @virenvs905 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Noah Lamberty
      More like grown Harry potter

    • @GoldieXBL
      @GoldieXBL 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Your last name is "Lamberty" and you're trying to talk shit 😂😂

    • @the1flym459
      @the1flym459 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      DeejBot No u

    • @adampalmer7387
      @adampalmer7387 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Noah Lamberty Bart dho

    • @Mike_Greene
      @Mike_Greene 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      lmao british millshouse

  • @TheQuashingoftheTub
    @TheQuashingoftheTub 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    That Johhny Depp + Domestic Violence joke aged... well it aged lol

  • @nolimitsuk
    @nolimitsuk 6 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Adult: "If you are removed, would you like to designate a country of removal? What country would that be?"
    Kid: ".........pizza."
    Pizzagate confirmed.

  • @monkeyking9863
    @monkeyking9863 6 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    how is it legal to have a court system that is not under the judicial branch?

    • @williestyle35
      @williestyle35 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      There are actually several small courts in the government that are separate from the Judicial system. "Immigration court" just happens to handle the most cases.

  • @andrineslife
    @andrineslife 6 ปีที่แล้ว +316

    Not Mr. Peanut too! Poor Mrs. Peanut, I hope all involved are getting help!

    • @ProgrammingLinguist
      @ProgrammingLinguist 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      they call him... the nutcracker

    • @antonioro1229
      @antonioro1229 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      gotta admit he is a bit of a nutshell

    • @robertfeight1205
      @robertfeight1205 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      She probably abuses him, too-they're both nuts.

    • @CAP198462
      @CAP198462 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Did Oliver mean she was a salted? 😣
      Seriously. Beating that old peanut joke doesn’t make it butter.

    • @Molybdaenmornell
      @Molybdaenmornell 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's a scam, Peanut! The courts are just trying to cashew in!

  • @maxdoubt6504
    @maxdoubt6504 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    When the defendant in the skit said "Will ANYONE share their snacks with me?" I realised who the voice of Archer is...

  • @gorillaguerillaDK
    @gorillaguerillaDK 6 ปีที่แล้ว +365

    Who wouldn't be okay with getting deported to Pizza.....?

    • @jessetorres8738
      @jessetorres8738 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm more interested in finding the nation of Taured!

    • @TheTsar1918
      @TheTsar1918 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Many would be very cool with it. Unless you don't like that particular pizza...

    • @plasticdevil3
      @plasticdevil3 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If "pizza" was code for Italy...

    • @Bobelponge123
      @Bobelponge123 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      If it was pineapple pizza...

    • @TheCalabrese1989
      @TheCalabrese1989 6 ปีที่แล้ว

  • @lynnwilhoite6194
    @lynnwilhoite6194 6 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    Oh my goodness, our country is sentencing people to death in traffic court! Without an attorney. In a hearing that lasted less than two minutes... This scared me to my core. There but for the grace of God go I.

    • @vavan100
      @vavan100 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Maybe Other countries should stop being Fascist hellholes?

    • @jaygarrick9585
      @jaygarrick9585 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Gouky We made the central american countries those hellholes. Now we have to live with the consequences

    • @thetrustysidekick3013
      @thetrustysidekick3013 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Gouky
      Has nothing to do with anything in this video.

    • @vavan100
      @vavan100 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Americans told central american countries to Murder and rape each other ... and they said ... ok

    • @jaygarrick9585
      @jaygarrick9585 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Gouky www.thirdworldtraveler.com/US_ThirdWorld/deathsquads_ElSal.html

  • @mypal1990
    @mypal1990 6 ปีที่แล้ว +492

    Law and order special immigrations unit. *Dun Dun*

    • @thewonderlander1372
      @thewonderlander1372 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Emmanuel Alejandro They should definitely make that.

    • @randybuddernubsbidder5364
      @randybuddernubsbidder5364 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Emmanuel Alejandro to

    • @veritasg9020
      @veritasg9020 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      ♪Ba duuunnn dadadad daaahahhnnnnn babaaam dadadadannndaaaahhh daaaa beeewwbebwbe duueuduedh da duedueuuuuu duuuuhhduhuu dhdee deiiie deuuu deiiuuuhhhng- dud ud nunn dunddaaann bwbebwebwbewub beaaoing boinn, baduuuun dadadaduuudannnn, bebeededeeiiie - da da daaaa dannnn♪

    • @lindinle
      @lindinle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No one would watch it unless sex crimes were involved. We all know svu was the most popular one

    • @q345ify
      @q345ify 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      also from what can be gathered from watching his shows Dick Wolf is fairly pro-immigrant- most of the shows make an explicit point to say that the cops won't call immigration (last season of SVU for example had Olivia saying she was going to call ICE for the first time so a witness would tell the truth)- making unlikely that he would even support a show like that

  • @TheSneezingAnouki
    @TheSneezingAnouki 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Of course you can teach law to a three-year-old. Provided you wait, oh, I don't know, fifteen years.

  • @brocksamson3282
    @brocksamson3282 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Man, I was getting so depressed watching this. Thanks, Jon Benjamin for cheering me up at the end.

    • @MyChemRomance
      @MyChemRomance 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too! I couldn't even find myself able to laugh until Jon Benjamin showed up. It really was a disheartening episode.

  • @abrokatec
    @abrokatec 6 ปีที่แล้ว +392

    Most people won't do a single thing even after hearing this. I suppose maybe saying that often translators for the defendants are not even physically present a lot of the time won't help either. I think amkig a charity organization to help provide a defender from donations would help a lot.

    • @Damnitjim7
      @Damnitjim7 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Andrea Brokate would love to donate, and most people would love to help just a lack of know how, time, and the opportunity. If you want to garner support for a cause it's best not to alienate the people you want to participate.

    • @abrokatec
      @abrokatec 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      akadeepsea I'm a 14 year old. I wish I could.

    • @abrokatec
      @abrokatec 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I'm sorry if my comment sounded alienating, it was actually more expressing dissapointment.

    • @007kingifrit
      @007kingifrit 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      i am doing something, i'm fighting to build a wall and to stop sanctuary cities

    • @Kabcr
      @Kabcr 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Glenn Coco People come despite the consequences. Why? Because life is probably better as an Undesirable than where they used to be. This includes unaccompanied minors, yes.

  • @ggnoxious2533
    @ggnoxious2533 6 ปีที่แล้ว +349

    *C H E E C H*

  • @m0sifer
    @m0sifer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Actually. John. I'd like Depp to have some input on domestic violence cases. Especially considering he is a victim of it.
    This information came out shortly after the allegations but whatever, John.