One of the things that contributes to that. Not all. Teenage years are hard for everyone - trying to figure out who you are, what you'll do and be in life, how you'll provide for yourself, how you'll get what you need and want in terms of income, partners, children, etc, etc., etc. But yes, this stuff sure makes life much harder and meaner than it should have to be.
@@tinaperez7393 To be honest your comment sounds a little bit invalidating, at least to me. Especially the teenage years are hard for everyone part (sounds like there’s an omitted get over it there as well, but it could be my own trigger). The more I heal, the more I realize that all these “difficult” life phases are not really difficult at all when you have a safe base to return to. Whether it’s outside, with other people, or inside, with your inner adult. It’s difficult when people around you are pressuring you into something rather than lovingly guiding you, or even just letting you be yourself. If that’s the case, then figuring yourself out becomes an adventure. Bump along the road? You go back to your healthy system and connect with it even more. There’s some real hard stuff in life, especially when it comes to illness and loss of loved ones, but teenage years would only be hard if you’ve had shitty parents in my opinion.
@@collegien1 yeah I totally agree... Life isn't supposed to be hard... It's only hard for those of us who had to do it all alone with nobody to return to, nobody to care, nobody to love us... Everyone gets stressed sometimes but once they go and talk with someone that they love and get reassurance... They feel better about the situation and are able to deal with it.. But sadly we have to become our own parent, our own safe place... Sending love and hugs to all my people❤️🩹☺🙂
"I wish you were never my daughter." Right to my nine year old face. He also verbally and emotionally abused my mother, told her he wished I had never been born, and told her I ruined his life (by literally existing). He hit our cats, used to beat me, and wanted to put me up for adoption before I was born.
So many children hear sh*t like this and absorb it for life. I just hope that people can see you as a professional telling your story and relating to you, and finding comfort in your help
Good point. I can use that. What if I were to list all of the wrong-headed stuff I remember and also all of the negative self-thoughts from stuff I have suppressed? And what if I went through each and, taking the inner child vs my higher self, the inner adult, loved myself instead? What would that look like? Here's me, trying it on for size. Thanks Patrick. I can build a new inner life with these tools. I can have access to my inner child's dreams and I can now live with the talents and strength I was meant to have to see reality breathe life, my life, into my dreams.
My father once told me "the only thing i'd be good for is making men satisfied". It's truly disturbing how many people can relate to trauma from parents or other family members💔
That’s not right , if you became Muslim you are not allowed to sleep with any one except your husband ( He should be Muslim ) because he can’t sleep with another women , this is gonna make him very guilty and you will not be as he says you gonna be , you will be a successful mom and your kids will love and care for you because in our religion Islam you have to love and make your parents proud of you and take extra care with them , in your case you have to be the better person in the whole situation show him that you are pure because your Muslim you exists to worship Allah not to be a street girl and he should’ve said smithing nice to you not those nasty words YOU ARE STRONGER THAN WHAT HE SAYS ♥️
I will never forget this lady I saw at the movie theater telling her grandson things like that and swearing at him.. telling him he was stupid for spilling his drink.. I wanted to stand up for him. I wanted to report her.. But I just stood there .. I felt like I couldn’t, I froze, like someone had a hand over my mouth.. I told my husband what had happened and my husband waved at the little boy and said he’d buy him another soda .. his grandma refused .. my husband gave him a high five and told him he was an awesome kid😢.. I went home and cried .. I was so heart Broken that he had to endure that .. and I was so mad at myself for not being able to stand up for him😓 I promised my self that next time I saw something like this I would speak up and or report it .. Child abuse is not just physical.. 😢
Hi I know we don't know each other personally but I'm sorry that you saw that kid being treated badly by his piece of shit grandma but I'm happy that your husband made that kid feel better by buying him a soda and saying he's an awesome kid
You did what you could. You told your husband. And the little boy had someone offering to buy him another drink so at least somewhere in that little boy's heart he knew that he really wasn't worthless. He needed that. Next time you'll be more prepared but at least that little boy knows someone somewhere saw value in him 💕
I get that feeling. Seeing a caretaker scream at a child just hurts me so bad, even though nothing like that has ever happened to me... Yeah I get it 💔
Yes, you help tens of thousands of people live healthy and productive lives every single day. And not to be vengeful, but these pathetic messed up parents are rotting away alone because they've abused and alienated their children.
Some abusive parents don’t let their kids move and become independent adults they force them to live with em for ever and when you try to stand up to them it does not work
@erikvolkers1826 It's ok to empathize but it doesn't make it ok for it to continue. We didn't cause it, we can't change it & we can't cure what they went through-But we can heal what we went through and make a difference on breaking this chain. That hurt people hurt people is an excuse for hurt people who didn't do the hard work of healing and keep the abuse going. It's our responsibility to do the work, heal and stop this generational yuck. It's definitely not easy, but so worth it. We can do this!
When you think about it, it's scary how inescapably correct these things can seem to the kid on the receiving end when they are so TRANSPARENTLY WRONG and actually plain nuts when seen from the outside. You do such important work, dude.
It’s then a mindf*ck trying to undo that as an adult. It’s so hard to make yourself believe that they’re NOT true even though rationally you can see that they’re not
It's curious that they call it angsty, because angsty is just what happened in the french revolution. Angsty happens for a reason, not because it's natural to become rebel for no reason.
My father once told me "You're a monster" when I held my knife infront of me pointed at him to scare him off and to defend my younger brothers and mother from him (he was agressive and wanted to beat my younger brothers and me up for "misbehaving", it wasn't the first time but it was the first time I instead of taking the hit for my brothers decided to stood up for us all). I replied him: "You created me, if you create a monster be ready to face it". It was four years ago, now I'm about to turn 18 next month and my mother finally decided to divorce him and sue him for abuse. When the court will start the case I will be a adult, and I'm so glad because I will be a key witness and I will be able to take revange finally. I hate him so much. I want to study law to work in court so I can punish and catch people like him.
This is true for most people, I used to know a friend in school who his dad would yell at him all the time. We eventually told the guidance counselor, his father was gone afterwards. This makes me remind me about that kid, that he never gave up, and no one else should. Remember, you are not alone.
Actually that's false information. Well, technically. While you may not be able to recall the memory like your more vivid ones, it still leaves an impact if it's repeated behavior and it still will affect the baby. Think of babies like sponges, they are constantly learning from their guardians / surroundings. So even if those weren't your earliest memories, it still would have an effect on you.
It made me teary eyed to seeing photos of vibrant baby boy paired with the cruel and heartless things your father said. How wonderful that you took that experience to help others.
Exactly. Children need to be protected, prioritized, and loved. Not whatever the hell this is. (Ah yes, it’s called *verbal abuse.* 😀) There’s definitely no “right” way to parent, but this is certainly a great example of one of the *_wrong_* ways.
Some people are simply ruthless and act impulsively on their emotions when no one’s looking. A strong person doesn’t feed into their humanistic feelings of superiority or inferiority but combats them. If only everyone knew that, not just the victims who learned this through tragedies.
As someone with a dad that loves me I can’t imagine the audacity and idiocy of people who treat their children like this. I also can’t imagine the pain these terrible parents must’ve went through during their _own_ childhoods for them to think it’s ok to treat their own child like that… If I ever had a child, I’d _never_ say things like this to them. In fact, I don’t think I should have children because I have anger issues and tend to snap when I’m overstimulated. I’m so glad you’ve come this far to help people struggling like this too. ❤
God bless your dad. I am always in wonder over people with wonderful dads. My dad wasnt abusive he was ok as a young kid, but he abandoned us an he never kept his promise. Id wait for him on holidays and he wouldnt show up. Id want to hang out with him and hed give me $1 to get my mom a christmas gift. He was always late w his money and seemed to resent having to put anything out for other people. I havent seen him in 22 years no idea why he didnt care enough to keep me in his life.
@@joea.9969 oh my, I’m so sorry to hear that your dad wasn’t there for you. He must be one of those “Dissapearing Dads” (the ones who run off to get the nonexistent milk) I also like to call them “Flaky Fathers”. So dissapointing. I actually feel you on a personal level. Two of my aunts are single moms bc one of my aunt’s lovers just disappeared on her never to be seen again (I think it happened twice) and the other divorced him (I think) My dad has also had friends who had gotten walked out on by their fathers as well. I hate people like that who just run away from their responsibilities, it’s no good for anyone involved and it will always catch up, whether with actual repercussions or just bearing the weight of guilt/regret. At least he _sorta_ tried to be a part of your life for a while? (albeit halfheartedly I assume) but that still doesn’t make what he did alright. God bless you. I hope you are healing or have already healed 💖❤🌈
@@not-so-obvious_autism777 thanks for your comment. I have never really held a grudge against my dad and have forgiven him, just have some sadness that hes not in my life and doesnt meet his grandson.
@@joea.9969 Oh do you (or one of your possible siblings) have a child? Congratulations!! 😊🎉 And it’s good that you’ve found it in your heart to forgive him, it’s a lot better than lugging around such useless baggage like a grudge Idk what I’d ever do without my grandparents, it’s his loss he’s missing out on another beautiful child
@@not-so-obvious_autism777 im an only child have one wonderful son. My mom is great. My son has certain similarities to my dad he has his chin and affinity for antique things.
This is horrible that someone would say things like that to a child. My mother had a horribly abusive stepfather, and I myself had a bio father who left us while I was two or three months old and was lucky enough to have a blind stepfather who loves and cares for us. I wish all children could have good parents like mine.
This must have been painful to put up. You don’t usually post much about your father. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for being so strong and for helping people like me now.
Patrick, you have been able to help so very many people. Just soak up the love we all feel for you and have a great present day. (when I came home from college my dad used to say 'my dolter's back!' my face crumpled up when I realized that a few months ago- I'm 65)
Omg 😭😭😭😭 so grateful for people like you , a true inspiration and a pure gentle soul so kind and beautiful and a HERO ! You are amazing ! I wish you the best of luck
Oh. My god. I am so sorry for everything he put you through first of all.😢 *But* that mic drop of a win at the end; you sure showed him. And I am not saying that's why you did it either, no, not at all. I just absolutely love how he never succeeded in tearing you down in the end. You made it fresh out the other side-- and now you are even helping others to do the exact same thing. Real legends aren't common, they are rare. But *you sir* are an absolute legend. I'm sorry for you then, just a sweet young boy trying to grow up in the world, but you're a strong and accomplished man now, and it's so well deserved and looks great on you. A round of applause for you!!!!👏👏👏 💖
You DO help people. I am so sorry for what you went through. My heart breaks in a million pieces watching that as a Mom of 5, who has also struggled with past Trauma. Thank You for being YOU! ♥️
The thing is, I never heard stuff like this but was shown this example. My parents were too covert to be so blatant. Which is why for years I thought I had a good childhood. Such a mind screw! Thanks to healers like you I finally figured out how selfish my parents are. Patrick, thank you.
Kids, don’t succumb to depression. Instead, think about how you’re gonna be a better adult than your parents, and how you will disprove every thing they have said about you failing. Think not on the abuse but on the power you will feel being better than your parents
“Who’s ever going to want to marry her? Just look at her” “you are nothing and will always be nothing “ “you’re not my daughter, you’re too stupid to be my daughter” “you see that homeless bum? That’s where you’re headed, that’s your future!” Things said to me by my parents. Super fun!
Oh Patrick I'm so sorry he put you through that, my mom was like that too not all the time but enough to scar me for life and my dad would just walk away when it happened
Perfect timing! I needed this 🧡 praying to whatever God protects kids who just wanna be loved they have sweet dreams about healthy self esteem tonight 🧡
Look how adorable you are! Who couldn’t love a face like that? Thank you for sharing, you’re an inspiration for me in my pursuit of a counseling degree.
And that little boy’s bravery gives me strength in my hardest, most troubling, fucked up moments where I just don’t know what to do. You’re a superhero Patrick.
I went through a similar situation and when I was big enough a certain individual had reality crash really hard into their face. A life-changing moment for me and a VERY humbling one for the other. ; )
I remember one time when I was 11 years old my dad had woken up and become very very drunk. Also keep in mind he had bought me a $1.4k gaming setup, so I was living the dream. He then walked in the room and he asked “ where is your phone?” I then told him it was on my desk and he grabbed it, looking through my texts with my mom. He was very abusive to her that she had to move out and they had a restraining order to keep them from contact. I then told him “ please, I don’t want you to look at my texts”. He then turned around and stared at me and said “ oh yeah?!?!” I remember it as if it was yesterday, he then grabbed the very heavy pc, and threw it in my direction. I was in shock at the moment, and was able to quickly dodge the pc coming to my direction. He then stared at me, yelling “ GIVE ME THE PHONE!!!!” I was literally shaking so much that I threw the phone out the window and it hit a car driving by our house. Idk what happened about the car, it didn’t get damaged so I don’t think they did a thing about a flying phone hitting their car. But anyways, I yelled back to him, “ WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!” He then got the monitor of the setup and tried to throw it at me, but he was so drunk that it curved over to somewhere else in my room. I was so angry at him, and I was on my 🩸 so my anger just slipped out and I became outraged. I then ran up to my dad, and i repeatedly scratched his face. I really do not know if I was in the wrong of doing this, but he then got my finger and pushed it against my wall so hard that it started gushing blood. I was literally crying so much, and he had to audacity to say “ you are being really mean right now”. Like he never got in trouble for doing this, and I was too scared to tell anyone. And the years passed, the end ( true story )
Far out brother. What an A hole. My stepfather was the same. Your healing and subsequent quest to help others trying to heal is an inspiration. With all my broken heart, thankyou❤
What a moving way to display these words across photos of you growing up. One impactful part of my recovery was the act of putting up photos of my young self to remind myself the she does not deserve the learned loop of negativity that was running through my head, internalized from so many years of hearing it around me. We are all still that same sweet child who never deserved what was inflicted upon us. It takes time to learn how to love and regard and parent ourselves well if that wasn’t modeled for us. Patrick, thanks for your example and the help you give to others
Just WOW ... thank you for working through your pain Patrick. I APPRECIATE all of your hard work to help those of us who are ready to receive it. Thank you ♡
You already know you are someone you can be proud of. We each get to choose who we want to be, if we want to live more in fear and hate, or more in joy and love. You done good, and you know it. ❤️
You’ve helped me more than you’ll ever know. I wish there was a way to go back and give that little boy a hug, and tell him that when he’s free from his abusers that life will be amazing. Wishing you all the best, Patrick ❤️ you deserve the world
Thank you so much for speaking up. I know that I'm not alone. I have the same situation with my parents. I always pray and work so hard, so I can get out of the house and live my life. Hugs to you guys and ladies, remember... believe in yourself! Always have faith ❤
I can’t fathom how people think it’s ok to talk to their children like this. I tell my boys all the time that the best day of my life is the day they were born. I’m so sorry you had to endure such a sick father.
@@moscowcowboy_13I am a lucky mom!! They are the sweetest boys and so kind to everyone. I’m so grateful I was blessed with them. And they have the best daddy who tells them “they are the best things in the history of things!”
I'm so sorry he said so many horrible things to you. You didn't deserve to be treated or thought of that way. Thank you for helping others. You've helped me immensely.
Hello Mr. Patrick, I don't know if you will ever read this but I am so proud to be your subscriber. You've helped me and millions in countless ways. You're my inspiration and I will work hard in my life to at least try to be somewhat of a warrior like you.
Sending a hug to you Patrick (should you wish to accept it!) and any person who received these sorts of lies as a child. Lies from a delusional person.. or persons.💛
This made me cry. 😢Children are so vulnerable and it's purely the luck of the draw if you get a loving or a hateful parent, but the child will blame themselves for not being good enough. The parents are the ones who weren't close to good enough. You were a lovely talented child who turned into a lovely talented adult.
This was so viscerally powerful; the music, the pictures of earnest young Patrick through the years, the searing words on his yearning soul and the great impact he’s having now, unstoppable. Thank you.
I'm sorry Patrick, you were a wonderful child. I hope all men will heal and not bear that disgusting mindset of trauma and repeat the cycles of abuse. I am hearing equally bad things about myself, from both of my parents. I just woke up fully to the fact of how toxic, controlling, and narcissistic both are... that's how they were raised and suffered! But I know for sure that I am healing and I won't repeat the cycle. We all have to heal. We all depend on each other.
Thank you for posting this very tender post, Patrick. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. I am so sorry that your dad was so horribly abusive and was utterly blind to the gift he was given to have you for his son. I wish I could have known you back then & been your friend in school. No one deserves to be treated like that, yet so many of us were. You are an inspiration for all of us. You are helping thousands of souls and families. I’m so thankful you got away from those who didn’t know you or love you. God bless you for all you are doing to help others.
I'm so sorry you went through this. Terrible things were said to me by my parents too, particularly my mother, & I'll never get over it. She finally apologized when I was 29 & had my daughter, & she's really been trying to be different, so I've made peace with her. But, she's not a narcissist, she's Borderline (undiagnosed, but very very obvious, I'm diagnosed & it's very clear to me that's what's up with her too), so that's a different monster. But, the pain never really goes away even if they apologize. But, I forgive her. But, never let anyone tell you that you have to forgive, especially when/if your abusive parent doesn't even seek forgiveness. You don't owe them anything.
I always look at children and wonder if my parents ever saw what i see when i see children, the urge to protect, care for them and never hurt them, i wonder if my parents ever looked at me and and felt the same, it seems like they were annoyed and hated dealing with my existence
What I noticed right away from the verbal abuse I received, was that it never pertained to me. I didn’t know the word “projection” back then, but I recognized the pattern, and once I learned of the word, it was instant validation of everything I’d endured! That LABEL was everything! Same when I learned the words “psychopath,” “pathological liar,” and many others that we use in the narcissistic abuse education & recovery community. It helped that neither of my parents were accomplished people-as narcs, of course they thought they were ENTITLED to “everything,” so they were frustrated by their reality, but they could never make me feel bad w/ the contents of their speech, since none of it was EVER true. I’m grateful to have been born self-aware & truth-oriented, and also for having ZERO proclivities for codependency-even as a kid who had nowhere and no one else to turn to, I never sought my parents’ approval. It was THEY who didn’t meet my minimum standards for what I wanted in the humans I chose for my life. It still drains your life force to have to endure living in an all-narc family. Amazing that I survived, even if I wished daily that I wouldn’t live to see another day, as early as 2nd or 3rd grade. So many people don’t realize that some kids are in situations where they essentially HAVE to consider suicide, given the inescapable & unrelenting conditions of their life.
Yes! Your phrase, drains your life force to endure living in an all narc family, really really speaks to me. I’ve got dad, mom, brother and grandma. It’s terrible when they somehow gang up to put you down and you feel like your only option is to just not say anything. One day, I’ll make it out of this. Or die trying.
You've helped and continue to help myself and many others heal. I can't even express how grateful I am for you and what you do for all of us. Thank you for not letting their weaknesses stop you from learning and teaching all of us how to heal and be strong.
Once we get to the teenage years, it builds up and starts to show in our faces. And then that gets normalized as typical teenage angst. :/
One of the things that contributes to that. Not all. Teenage years are hard for everyone - trying to figure out who you are, what you'll do and be in life, how you'll provide for yourself, how you'll get what you need and want in terms of income, partners, children, etc, etc., etc. But yes, this stuff sure makes life much harder and meaner than it should have to be.
@@tinaperez7393 To be honest your comment sounds a little bit invalidating, at least to me. Especially the teenage years are hard for everyone part (sounds like there’s an omitted get over it there as well, but it could be my own trigger). The more I heal, the more I realize that all these “difficult” life phases are not really difficult at all when you have a safe base to return to. Whether it’s outside, with other people, or inside, with your inner adult. It’s difficult when people around you are pressuring you into something rather than lovingly guiding you, or even just letting you be yourself. If that’s the case, then figuring yourself out becomes an adventure. Bump along the road? You go back to your healthy system and connect with it even more. There’s some real hard stuff in life, especially when it comes to illness and loss of loved ones, but teenage years would only be hard if you’ve had shitty parents in my opinion.
@@collegien1 sure. Cearly THAT'S what I was saying. (sarcasm)
Great observation.
@@collegien1 yeah I totally agree... Life isn't supposed to be hard... It's only hard for those of us who had to do it all alone with nobody to return to, nobody to care, nobody to love us... Everyone gets stressed sometimes but once they go and talk with someone that they love and get reassurance... They feel better about the situation and are able to deal with it.. But sadly we have to become our own parent, our own safe place...
Sending love and hugs to all my people❤️🩹☺🙂
All kids deserve a parent
Not all parents deserve a kid
@@Pardis-og3tbNot oddly at all, actually. They project their terrible childhoods onto their children and learn from their abusive or absent parents.
Can yalll stay on 1 shit
Someone says all parents deserve kids
But not all kids deserve parents like wtf
@@tanjiro_heeheecan you stop being rude
@@pinkdollangel I'm not trying to be rude I'm just confused as I stated
Your forgetting that sometimes it's the opposite
Being a kid is mandatory. Being a parent is optional. Not everyone who is family deserves your love.
what about that one person who spawned as a 60 year old
@@elliotgraham-yj8og This isn't funny
@@hinakaramat3993 bro it’s a Minecraft joke stop being offended bro
@@elliotgraham-yj8og making fun of something serious and after someone complains you are the one who gets offended.
Thank you for this
"I wish you were never my daughter."
Right to my nine year old face. He also verbally and emotionally abused my mother, told her he wished I had never been born, and told her I ruined his life (by literally existing). He hit our cats, used to beat me, and wanted to put me up for adoption before I was born.
Damm that tuff I feel bad for you just focus on your mother I hope she's more supportive
hope you have peace now ❤❤❤
I have no words other than there's a special deep pit in hell for that creature you call your dad
Life is hard but u have to go through it for the people u love u can't just let him beat u he ruined ur life
Wht you are just a woman,,, You dont know the struggle of a Sigma (true man) like me
We were all so innocent and pure
Exactly, they saw our light and they couldn't stand it. I think it all boils down to that.
Man God can purify us again
Soo true
I hate how they ruined me. I just feel ruined.
And then they ruined us
So many children hear sh*t like this and absorb it for life. I just hope that people can see you as a professional telling your story and relating to you, and finding comfort in your help
Good point. I can use that. What if I were to list all of the wrong-headed stuff I remember and also all of the negative self-thoughts from stuff I have suppressed? And what if I went through each and, taking the inner child vs my higher self, the inner adult, loved myself instead? What would that look like? Here's me, trying it on for size. Thanks Patrick. I can build a new inner life with these tools. I can have access to my inner child's dreams and I can now live with the talents and strength I was meant to have to see reality breathe life, my life, into my dreams.
Ikr it's sad
And I'm one of them
@@himangshu6708damn hope the best for you
@@bethb.6813 This brought tears to my eyes
They put us down, insult us, and mistreat us, and then wonder why we’re depressed…
Ty exactly my point
@@michelledickson2155fr😢 I feel bad for him
Fr
Don’t be, you have to live long enough to be the one that sees them in a nursing home
@@Aryan-qv5qk 🤣🤣
My father once told me "the only thing i'd be good for is making men satisfied". It's truly disturbing how many people can relate to trauma from parents or other family members💔
That’s not right , if you became Muslim you are not allowed to sleep with any one except your husband ( He should be Muslim ) because he can’t sleep with another women , this is gonna make him very guilty and you will not be as he says you gonna be , you will be a successful mom and your kids will love and care for you because in our religion Islam you have to love and make your parents proud of you and take extra care with them , in your case you have to be the better person in the whole situation show him that you are pure because your Muslim you exists to worship Allah not to be a street girl and he should’ve said smithing nice to you not those nasty words YOU ARE STRONGER THAN WHAT HE SAYS ♥️
I will never forget this lady I saw at the movie theater telling her grandson things like that and swearing at him.. telling him he was stupid for spilling his drink.. I wanted to stand up for him. I wanted to report her.. But I just stood there .. I felt like I couldn’t, I froze, like someone had a hand over my mouth.. I told my husband what had happened and my husband waved at the little boy and said he’d buy him another soda .. his grandma refused .. my husband gave him a high five and told him he was an awesome kid😢.. I went home and cried .. I was so heart Broken that he had to endure that .. and I was so mad at myself for not being able to stand up for him😓 I promised my self that next time I saw something like this I would speak up and or report it .. Child abuse is not just physical.. 😢
Hi I know we don't know each other personally but I'm sorry that you saw that kid being treated badly by his piece of shit grandma but I'm happy that your husband made that kid feel better by buying him a soda and saying he's an awesome kid
You did what you could. You told your husband. And the little boy had someone offering to buy him another drink so at least somewhere in that little boy's heart he knew that he really wasn't worthless. He needed that.
Next time you'll be more prepared but at least that little boy knows someone somewhere saw value in him 💕
I get that feeling. Seeing a caretaker scream at a child just hurts me so bad, even though nothing like that has ever happened to me... Yeah I get it 💔
Womp Womp
@@Nugget9910 You're not funny.
That beautiful little boy deserved to be treated with love and integrity
You looked like such a vibrant and happy young man. I'm glad you didn't let his words get to you.
Im sure they did, but fortunately he had enough defiance to make himself into a better man than his father ever was.
The fact that he still smiled throughout his life despite the mean words his father said 💔😢
Yes, you help tens of thousands of people live healthy and productive lives every single day. And not to be vengeful, but these pathetic messed up parents are rotting away alone because they've abused and alienated their children.
Imagine how they became like that. This stuff runs for generations #breakthecycle
Some abusive parents don’t let their kids move and become independent adults they force them to live with em for ever and when you try to stand up to them it does not work
@@chandana12605lap nothing u just have to get used to it get to dealing and living with them for the rest of your life
@@albihysenaj5997 that isn't something you should get used to at all, sorry to say this
@erikvolkers1826 It's ok to empathize but it doesn't make it ok for it to continue. We didn't cause it, we can't change it & we can't cure what they went through-But we can heal what we went through and make a difference on breaking this chain. That hurt people hurt people is an excuse for hurt people who didn't do the hard work of healing and keep the abuse going. It's our responsibility to do the work, heal and stop this generational yuck. It's definitely not easy, but so worth it. We can do this!
When you think about it, it's scary how inescapably correct these things can seem to the kid on the receiving end when they are so TRANSPARENTLY WRONG and actually plain nuts when seen from the outside.
You do such important work, dude.
It’s then a mindf*ck trying to undo that as an adult. It’s so hard to make yourself believe that they’re NOT true even though rationally you can see that they’re not
funny how once kids start to recognize abuse, suddenly parents call that "angsty"!!
That’s what happened with me. And my parents wonder why I don’t come over anymore.
It's curious that they call it angsty, because angsty is just what happened in the french revolution. Angsty happens for a reason, not because it's natural to become rebel for no reason.
My father once told me "You're a monster" when I held my knife infront of me pointed at him to scare him off and to defend my younger brothers and mother from him (he was agressive and wanted to beat my younger brothers and me up for "misbehaving", it wasn't the first time but it was the first time I instead of taking the hit for my brothers decided to stood up for us all). I replied him:
"You created me, if you create a monster be ready to face it". It was four years ago, now I'm about to turn 18 next month and my mother finally decided to divorce him and sue him for abuse. When the court will start the case I will be a adult, and I'm so glad because I will be a key witness and I will be able to take revange finally. I hate him so much. I want to study law to work in court so I can punish and catch people like him.
Inspirational you are to turn such pain into purpose, thank you helping so many with your channel
Thanks for the reminder!💖
From one kicked around kid to another, I love you Patrick. We are doing so well. I am proud of you.
❤
😢
That’s beautiful
Wow ! That’s disgusting! I hope you healed ! Sending love and prayers your way ✝️🤲 🙏 !
This is true for most people, I used to know a friend in school who his dad would yell at him all the time. We eventually told the guidance counselor, his father was gone afterwards. This makes me remind me about that kid, that he never gave up, and no one else should. Remember, you are not alone.
My mom said babies don't remember. Some of earliest memories are of her hating me.
Same .
same
Same
Actually that's false information. Well, technically. While you may not be able to recall the memory like your more vivid ones, it still leaves an impact if it's repeated behavior and it still will affect the baby. Think of babies like sponges, they are constantly learning from their guardians / surroundings. So even if those weren't your earliest memories, it still would have an effect on you.
Oh boo hoo
It made me teary eyed to seeing photos of vibrant baby boy paired with the cruel and heartless things your father said. How wonderful that you took that experience to help others.
Exactly. Children need to be protected, prioritized, and loved. Not whatever the hell this is. (Ah yes, it’s called *verbal abuse.* 😀) There’s definitely no “right” way to parent, but this is certainly a great example of one of the *_wrong_* ways.
Some people are simply ruthless and act impulsively on their emotions when no one’s looking. A strong person doesn’t feed into their humanistic feelings of superiority or inferiority but combats them. If only everyone knew that, not just the victims who learned this through tragedies.
As someone with a dad that loves me I can’t imagine the audacity and idiocy of people who treat their children like this. I also can’t imagine the pain these terrible parents must’ve went through during their _own_ childhoods for them to think it’s ok to treat their own child like that… If I ever had a child, I’d _never_ say things like this to them. In fact, I don’t think I should have children because I have anger issues and tend to snap when I’m overstimulated. I’m so glad you’ve come this far to help people struggling like this too. ❤
God bless your dad.
I am always in wonder over people with wonderful dads.
My dad wasnt abusive he was ok as a young kid, but he abandoned us an he never kept his promise. Id wait for him on holidays and he wouldnt show up. Id want to hang out with him and hed give me $1 to get my mom a christmas gift. He was always late w his money and seemed to resent having to put anything out for other people.
I havent seen him in 22 years no idea why he didnt care enough to keep me in his life.
@@joea.9969 oh my, I’m so sorry to hear that your dad wasn’t there for you. He must be one of those “Dissapearing Dads” (the ones who run off to get the nonexistent milk) I also like to call them “Flaky Fathers”. So dissapointing. I actually feel you on a personal level. Two of my aunts are single moms bc one of my aunt’s lovers just disappeared on her never to be seen again (I think it happened twice) and the other divorced him (I think) My dad has also had friends who had gotten walked out on by their fathers as well. I hate people like that who just run away from their responsibilities, it’s no good for anyone involved and it will always catch up, whether with actual repercussions or just bearing the weight of guilt/regret. At least he _sorta_ tried to be a part of your life for a while? (albeit halfheartedly I assume) but that still doesn’t make what he did alright. God bless you. I hope you are healing or have already healed 💖❤🌈
@@not-so-obvious_autism777 thanks for your comment. I have never really held a grudge against my dad and have forgiven him, just have some sadness that hes not in my life and doesnt meet his grandson.
@@joea.9969 Oh do you (or one of your possible siblings) have a child? Congratulations!! 😊🎉 And it’s good that you’ve found it in your heart to forgive him, it’s a lot better than lugging around such useless baggage like a grudge
Idk what I’d ever do without my grandparents, it’s his loss he’s missing out on another beautiful child
@@not-so-obvious_autism777 im an only child have one wonderful son. My mom is great. My son has certain similarities to my dad he has his chin and affinity for antique things.
Just because someone is smiling doesn’t mean they are happy that sadness is hidden in their heart...❤
Yep it’s called: masking
The mama in me wants to hold that little sweet boy in those pictures 😢
Right!!!, me too!
Yes , the momma in me wants to kick his as* ..
My mother was the narcissist , her mother was also a narcissist as are both of my sisters..
Absolutely 💕
the father in me wants to break that dads jaw
❤same
Heartbreaking.
Thank you for using your trauma as a catalyst for healing yourself and others.
This is horrible that someone would say things like that to a child. My mother had a horribly abusive stepfather, and I myself had a bio father who left us while I was two or three months old and was lucky enough to have a blind stepfather who loves and cares for us. I wish all children could have good parents like mine.
I do really relate to this. My father was abusive to me, and he would say the same thing. I hope you're doing well
I'm so proud of how far you've come. You were the most goregous young man and boy. We appreciate you right here Patrick💜💛🧡❤
This must have been painful to put up. You don’t usually post much about your father. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for being so strong and for helping people like me now.
🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
The fact that he still remembered all of these lines.
Patrick, you have been able to help so very many people. Just soak up the love we all feel for you and have a great present day. (when I came home from college my dad used to say 'my dolter's back!' my face crumpled up when I realized that a few months ago- I'm 65)
Omg 😭😭😭😭 so grateful for people like you , a true inspiration and a pure gentle soul so kind and beautiful and a HERO ! You are amazing ! I wish you the best of luck
I’m so sorry, you were such a cute kid. I wish you could have had more love growing up 🥺
you were absolutely adorable as a kid, you looked so sweet and innocent 😞 i want to go back in time and give you a million huge warm hugs ☹️☹️
Oh. My god. I am so sorry for everything he put you through first of all.😢 *But* that mic drop of a win at the end; you sure showed him. And I am not saying that's why you did it either, no, not at all. I just absolutely love how he never succeeded in tearing you down in the end. You made it fresh out the other side-- and now you are even helping others to do the exact same thing. Real legends aren't common, they are rare. But *you sir* are an absolute legend. I'm sorry for you then, just a sweet young boy trying to grow up in the world, but you're a strong and accomplished man now, and it's so well deserved and looks great on you. A round of applause for you!!!!👏👏👏
💖
Thank you for sharing this with us, and sending so much love to you and your younger self.
You DO help people. I am so sorry for what you went through. My heart breaks in a million pieces watching that as a Mom of 5, who has also struggled with past Trauma. Thank You for being YOU! ♥️
that shouldn’t even be considered a father. i’m so glad you’re ok. i hope your mother is ok too.
All children deserve parents
But some parents don't deserve children
-a wise person
then they hit you with the "why don't you visit me t the nursing home"
The thing is, I never heard stuff like this but was shown this example. My parents were too covert to be so blatant. Which is why for years I thought I had a good childhood. Such a mind screw! Thanks to healers like you I finally figured out how selfish my parents are. Patrick, thank you.
Kids, don’t succumb to depression. Instead, think about how you’re gonna be a better adult than your parents, and how you will disprove every thing they have said about you failing. Think not on the abuse but on the power you will feel being better than your parents
“Who’s ever going to want to marry her? Just look at her” “you are nothing and will always be nothing “ “you’re not my daughter, you’re too stupid to be my daughter” “you see that homeless bum? That’s where you’re headed, that’s your future!” Things said to me by my parents. Super fun!
Moved to tears. Yes, you help people now. Lots and lots of people. Thanks for being who you truly are❤
Oh Patrick I'm so sorry he put you through that, my mom was like that too not all the time but enough to scar me for life and my dad would just walk away when it happened
Perfect timing! I needed this 🧡 praying to whatever God protects kids who just wanna be loved they have sweet dreams about healthy self esteem tonight 🧡
Behind every smile, there's a story you would never understand
“Once I’m a millionaire I’ll leave you and your mom on the streets.”
"I'd rather be poor than to be with you."
If somone said something to you like that, then they will never become a millionaire
Sweetie that’s not how capitalism works
"I'll beat you until the cops get here you little shit"
"I made a mistake on May 4th, 2008." (That's when I was born.) :D
Look how adorable you are! Who couldn’t love a face like that? Thank you for sharing, you’re an inspiration for me in my pursuit of a counseling degree.
❤️👏
And that little boy’s bravery gives me strength in my hardest, most troubling, fucked up moments where I just don’t know what to do. You’re a superhero Patrick.
Wow. So hurtful & heartbreaking. Little children deserve so much better. 😢💔
It's clear from the light in your eyes what a sweet kid you were! You ROCK.
What an adorable child; it's so heartbreaking to think someone could be mean to that :(.
I went through a similar situation and when I was big enough a certain individual had reality crash really hard into their face. A life-changing moment for me and a VERY humbling one for the other. ; )
You were the cutest kidddddddd omgggggg ❤️ thank God u found the truth beyond the lies 🙏🏽
You are an angel to other recovering adult wounded children. You described your reactivity at work. That's been my struggle.
I remember one time when I was 11 years old my dad had woken up and become very very drunk. Also keep in mind he had bought me a $1.4k gaming setup, so I was living the dream. He then walked in the room and he asked “ where is your phone?” I then told him it was on my desk and he grabbed it, looking through my texts with my mom. He was very abusive to her that she had to move out and they had a restraining order to keep them from contact. I then told him “ please, I don’t want you to look at my texts”. He then turned around and stared at me and said “ oh yeah?!?!” I remember it as if it was yesterday, he then grabbed the very heavy pc, and threw it in my direction. I was in shock at the moment, and was able to quickly dodge the pc coming to my direction. He then stared at me, yelling “ GIVE ME THE PHONE!!!!” I was literally shaking so much that I threw the phone out the window and it hit a car driving by our house. Idk what happened about the car, it didn’t get damaged so I don’t think they did a thing about a flying phone hitting their car. But anyways, I yelled back to him, “ WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!” He then got the monitor of the setup and tried to throw it at me, but he was so drunk that it curved over to somewhere else in my room. I was so angry at him, and I was on my 🩸 so my anger just slipped out and I became outraged. I then ran up to my dad, and i repeatedly scratched his face. I really do not know if I was in the wrong of doing this, but he then got my finger and pushed it against my wall so hard that it started gushing blood. I was literally crying so much, and he had to audacity to say “ you are being really mean right now”. Like he never got in trouble for doing this, and I was too scared to tell anyone. And the years passed, the end ( true story )
Far out brother. What an A hole. My stepfather was the same. Your healing and subsequent quest to help others trying to heal is an inspiration. With all my broken heart, thankyou❤
What a moving way to display these words across photos of you growing up. One impactful part of my recovery was the act of putting up photos of my young self to remind myself the she does not deserve the learned loop of negativity that was running through my head, internalized from so many years of hearing it around me. We are all still that same sweet child who never deserved what was inflicted upon us. It takes time to learn how to love and regard and parent ourselves well if that wasn’t modeled for us. Patrick, thanks for your example and the help you give to others
You were destined to rise above your father and every person you help is one more middle finger to him. Thank you.
I’m sorry that ur father told u stuff like this I get this feeling like this a lot from my family I’m going through depression
Sending tons of love to all abused people 💗
You do a lot of good work for people! And I'm thankful for the work you've done. Your journey is touching and inspiring!
Just WOW ... thank you for working through your pain Patrick. I APPRECIATE all of your hard work to help those of us who are ready to receive it. Thank you ♡
This hit Home.. my father was emotionally abusive my whole life Since i was 4yrs old until i was 16-17 yrs old and Then left us
Father: “I’m gonna take everything from you… like you took everything from me”
You already know you are someone you can be proud of. We each get to choose who we want to be, if we want to live more in fear and hate, or more in joy and love. You done good, and you know it. ❤️
You’ve helped me more than you’ll ever know. I wish there was a way to go back and give that little boy a hug, and tell him that when he’s free from his abusers that life will be amazing. Wishing you all the best, Patrick ❤️ you deserve the world
Thank you so much for speaking up. I know that I'm not alone. I have the same situation with my parents. I always pray and work so hard, so I can get out of the house and live my life. Hugs to you guys and ladies, remember... believe in yourself! Always have faith ❤
I love how you still smile even tho you’re not having the best time.❤😊
I can’t fathom how people think it’s ok to talk to their children like this. I tell my boys all the time that the best day of my life is the day they were born. I’m so sorry you had to endure such a sick father.
I don't want children; if I did, I would love them with all my heart and tell them how valuable they are!
Wow I never thought a mom could say such a thing, that is wonderful, you have lucky kids.
@vanessabogaert My mom tells me the same thing, god bless you and your family.
@@moscowcowboy_13I am a lucky mom!! They are the sweetest boys and so kind to everyone. I’m so grateful I was blessed with them. And they have the best daddy who tells them “they are the best things in the history of things!”
@@vanessabogaert2104that's so sweet. Bless you and your family, ma'am!
Everything your father told you was wrong and abusive lies! You're doing great now for yourself and helping heal others. Best wishes and blessings ☀️
I’m so sorry to hear that ❤ that you for helping others ❤
Oh wow, this is so powerful! Thank you ❤😢❤
Thank you for sharing this. Unfortunately there are people who should never be parents but are. 🙏❤️
I'm so sorry he said so many horrible things to you. You didn't deserve to be treated or thought of that way. Thank you for helping others. You've helped me immensely.
Hello Mr. Patrick, I don't know if you will ever read this but I am so proud to be your subscriber. You've helped me and millions in countless ways. You're my inspiration and I will work hard in my life to at least try to be somewhat of a warrior like you.
Sending a hug to you Patrick (should you wish to accept it!) and any person who received these sorts of lies as a child. Lies from a delusional person.. or persons.💛
“You should just work with your hands.” 🥁 Thank you for expanding yourself and amplifying your voice! Your groove is in the ❤️.
Your channel has helped me so much.
This made me cry. 😢Children are so vulnerable and it's purely the luck of the draw if you get a loving or a hateful parent, but the child will blame themselves for not being good enough. The parents are the ones who weren't close to good enough.
You were a lovely talented child who turned into a lovely talented adult.
Helping people is awesome. And knowing what they go through is even better
This was so viscerally powerful; the music, the pictures of earnest young Patrick through the years, the searing words on his yearning soul and the great impact he’s having now, unstoppable. Thank you.
I'm sorry Patrick, you were a wonderful child. I hope all men will heal and not bear that disgusting mindset of trauma and repeat the cycles of abuse. I am hearing equally bad things about myself, from both of my parents. I just woke up fully to the fact of how toxic, controlling, and narcissistic both are... that's how they were raised and suffered! But I know for sure that I am healing and I won't repeat the cycle. We all have to heal. We all depend on each other.
Hello, fellow cycle-breaker! Wishing you joy, ease, and progress on your journey.
I'm sorry you went through cruelty like that...
Take comfort that you wasn't any of that. And you are a great intelligent person. ❤❤
I’m sorry you had to go through this. That little boy didn’t deserve such treatment. Thank you for helping me now
Thank you for posting this very tender post, Patrick. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. I am so sorry that your dad was so horribly abusive and was utterly blind to the gift he was given to have you for his son. I wish I could have known you back then & been your friend in school. No one deserves to be treated like that, yet so many of us were. You are an inspiration for all of us. You are helping thousands of souls and families. I’m so thankful you got away from those who didn’t know you or love you. God bless you for all you are doing to help others.
U are so strong brother and I've suffered betrayal, was backstabed, suffered depression.
hope it getts better for you man
lotsa love okay? love yourself
I'm so sorry you went through this. Terrible things were said to me by my parents too, particularly my mother, & I'll never get over it. She finally apologized when I was 29 & had my daughter, & she's really been trying to be different, so I've made peace with her. But, she's not a narcissist, she's Borderline (undiagnosed, but very very obvious, I'm diagnosed & it's very clear to me that's what's up with her too), so that's a different monster. But, the pain never really goes away even if they apologize. But, I forgive her. But, never let anyone tell you that you have to forgive, especially when/if your abusive parent doesn't even seek forgiveness. You don't owe them anything.
Dude I’m really sorry you went through all this. I hope everything is better now
And the help is so appreciated. Your tapping video was recommended to me by my professor and it helped me manage my panic attacks.🥰🥰💕💕💕
"Every child deserves a parents, but not every parent deserves a child."
-a grateful heart
I always look at children and wonder if my parents ever saw what i see when i see children, the urge to protect, care for them and never hurt them, i wonder if my parents ever looked at me and and felt the same, it seems like they were annoyed and hated dealing with my existence
Remember parents children can and will Remember...everything.
What I noticed right away from the verbal abuse I received, was that it never pertained to me. I didn’t know the word “projection” back then, but I recognized the pattern, and once I learned of the word, it was instant validation of everything I’d endured! That LABEL was everything! Same when I learned the words “psychopath,” “pathological liar,” and many others that we use in the narcissistic abuse education & recovery community.
It helped that neither of my parents were accomplished people-as narcs, of course they thought they were ENTITLED to “everything,” so they were frustrated by their reality, but they could never make me feel bad w/ the contents of their speech, since none of it was EVER true.
I’m grateful to have been born self-aware & truth-oriented, and also for having ZERO proclivities for codependency-even as a kid who had nowhere and no one else to turn to, I never sought my parents’ approval. It was THEY who didn’t meet my minimum standards for what I wanted in the humans I chose for my life.
It still drains your life force to have to endure living in an all-narc family. Amazing that I survived, even if I wished daily that I wouldn’t live to see another day, as early as 2nd or 3rd grade. So many people don’t realize that some kids are in situations where they essentially HAVE to consider suicide, given the inescapable & unrelenting conditions of their life.
Yes! Your phrase, drains your life force to endure living in an all narc family, really really speaks to me. I’ve got dad, mom, brother and grandma. It’s terrible when they somehow gang up to put you down and you feel like your only option is to just not say anything.
One day, I’ll make it out of this. Or die trying.
You've helped and continue to help myself and many others heal. I can't even express how grateful I am for you and what you do for all of us.
Thank you for not letting their weaknesses stop you from learning and teaching all of us how to heal and be strong.
Wow even from what your dad said to you, you still go on and help people like nothing happened i respect that.
Even with all that awful stuff you dealt with look at the man you’ve become. Truly breaking a cycle and I’m so proud of you for that brother!
Omg, I didn’t even recognize you! Aw, that’s why you’re such a sweetheart. I feel like the sweetest ppl have been through a lot.