ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ธ.ค. 2023
- For those who don’t know. I’ve had a difficult past and I come from an abusive family. I tried to go no contact with them and just move on but recently they found my social media pages. I wrote this letter to show them how much they have hurt me and hopefully they will leave me alone and stay out of my life. And I share my story to hopefully show people who have similar experiences, that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That there is hope for a better future, and that you can eventually reach a place where you are happy and safe. Stay strong and kind and you’ll be okay. This is the final chapter of my past. There’s no one else to hurt me now and I will live an extraordinary life without all the people from my past. I have me and that’s all I need.
- บันเทิง
If Ryan’s mom sees this comment, you didn’t deserve to have this amazing man as your son. He’s a beautiful human being in spite of everything you ever said and did to him. Ryan keep going you’re doing so great.
Forgive her
@@harlan5339tf
no@@harlan5339
@@harlan5339 there is no redeeming her. She is pure evil.
@@harlan5339 some people can't be forgiven.
a man doesnt cry because he is weak.
he will cry because he was strong for too long...
This saying is for everyone going through anything as bad as Ryan did and or is going through it just felt the need to say something but this is extremely true
Exactly, someone actually understands.
You are goddamn right
Whoever associated “weak” with crying lives in a bubble. Tell me you’re insensitive and emotionally immature without telling me you’re insensitive and emotionally immature! We are strong and if anything, the people labeling are the weak ones.
I've seen this crappy thing everywhere, get some originality or i don't know, everyone knows that phrase just make a new one
Women that bring (and keep) abusive men into their families are the worst…such selfishness, such cowardice, such a betrayal to their own kids.
Agree!
People can be kids get abused n meet an abuser due to there inner child been programmed to be abused I lived this life so I'd never judge anyone who did this my mother abused me father of my kids abused me n long after leaving the animal he continued working on my beautiful kids to brainwash them n model abuse into there brains as Been normal I'm n counselling my hole life due to the abuse I suffered I walked away thinking that was the end of been abused but it wasn't they den work on your kids to brainwash them against u had I not gone thru this I'd never have believed it
@@reg8297🫶 hang in there, you deserve a life of peace and love.
Oderick8-1- how can you stereotype this? Some women have no idea that their husbands would be this abusive. I’m not saying this is the case with the subject of the video, but there are quite a few women who don’t realize their men were bad.
@@crystalprice1942 you marry someone that you don’t know is abusive? That is another problem in itself. BUT I clearly said KEEP abusive men in their families, allowing for the possibility that maybe you didn’t know.
Dear brother from another (abusive) mother: As someone who got emotional abused since childhood, narcissistic, emotional abusing mother, emotionally cold father, being bullied in my school (which I changed a few times), getting slapped by my teachers and classmates, I feel every nuance of pain in your video! I tried so hard to please people, “please love me” was the undertone behind all my actions. I was an adult at age 12. Tried to first hang myself at 14. Broke many times to the point that all I wanted was just to be dead. Like you, I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that people are so cruel to me despite the fact that all I wanted was to be loved. At Age 31 I was sitting in my miserable little apartment and thought to myself “let’s end it.” I didn’t. I chickened out again. Then, more shit hit the fan. Couldn’t get a stable job, cheating girlfriends, false friends. I spiraled out of control. Got diagnosed with PTSD from massive trauma.
Felt like I was the crazy one. As if everything that happened to me was because I was crazy.
Then I started bodybuilding. Trying to channel my rage, my anger, my fear, my torment. And I did. I built myself again. For the 253th time so I felt. But with it something else came.
The realization that not matter how hard I try, I’ll always be branded. Today I’m 44, still massive hunk at 1.91m, 123kg. Get many compliments by females. But I don’t feel it anymore. Don’t care. I’m alone. And the feeling creeps in, that I always will be. I have a scared soul, all over. It will never heal. But at least one thing is for sure: I bully back. I can be pretty intimidating now and I used it to get revenge. I became the monster to the monsters. I became what I feared so hard when I was little. But once in a while, I stumble around people like you, feel this connection we have, the brave soul you are, fighting this war inside and I would fight to the death to protect people like you. It’s a cruel, cruel world out there, I got hardened by it, disillusioned by it. But people like you are the reason there is this little spark. I wish you all the best in the world and that you can grow out of this pain before it consumes you. Know this, there are many people who genuinely feel for you, knowing exactly what you’re going through. The loss of innocence at a such young age is devastating and cannot be reversed. I hope you find your demon, put this bastard on a leash and use it to your advantage. It’s too late for me but you can do it. With this pain, there comes an incredible amount of neglected anger and hate. Don’t let it consume you. Use it to help others struggling. And don’t be sad when you realize, that these scars will never fully heal. You are a true warrior, fought on many battlefields in your mind over the years and still, there you are! Exchanging all this information with is lucky ones! Your tears are not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of a gentle soul, who fought.
No, it isn't too late for you! A person who can write as beautifully as you has a reason for being here! I know that God has a plan for you! Please, open the door when He comes calling and you'll never be alone! ❤️
You are honest, that’s what differentiates you from abusive ppl. You got anger and you tried to heal through venting the anger. Now that you realized what is wrong, you are a gentle soul again. Be strong! Be happy!
Thanks for sharing! This is very helpful and will heal alot of souls with similar abuse. You are REALLY STRONG 💪for sharing. God bless you! Sending prayers for you brother, no one can face this world alone, NO ONE. This abuse was ment to destroy you but in the name of Jesus Christ this experience will build you to be greater than anyone could have imagine.
What a brave man you are! Well said. ❤
First of all, I wanna thank all of you for the nice comments! It’s nice to hear, that my life and the way I worked through it inspires people! This, for me, is the biggest compliment I can ever get! Not gonna lie, I have tears in my eyes right now! Thank you all! And keep supporting Ryan! Much love to you all ❤️
All children deserve parents, But not all parents deserve children.
I wish u could tell my parents this
@ThatRblxDevYT do me a favor pray that what ever I'm going tru gets fixed in the name of Jesus please
@@rix1199 you got it
over used line
I heard that somewhere- forgot where
This man needs a hug.
We should all give him one.
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Don’t let this distract you from the fact that I am hungry!
🤗
@@indigoguy12 shut up bro
@@Skip2mylou240 ☹️
ryans mom did not deserve to have such an amazing man as her son.
Kids deserve parents, but some parents don’t deserve kids.
Yes 😢
copying comments aint wise lil bro
@@p3rf3ctionz it's a common saying. people say it when they feel bad for somebody.
Ryan. I'm 74rs old. Old grandma! And you have just been adopted by me!!! Your a precious, precious soul! I'll pray for you. And this world is cruel!! But there still are good, GOD FEARING FOLKS! AND WE CARE! YOU EVER COME TO IREGON. YOU GOT A GRANNY HERE! HUGS BOY! YOUR LOVED!!!!
this is so heartwarming
RYAN GOD LOVES YOU❤ I AM PRAYING THAT GOD WILL SEND SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE THAT WILL LOVE YOU AND THAT YOU WILL HAVE THAT LOVE YOU NEVER HAD.
@maxinehilliker9206 I cried seeing your love for Ryan, thank you Grandma. 🎉❤❤
No one cares and ew
You’re a bit late, the personality was already created and I’m sure the guy has mental issues now
You're so damn strong Ryan. We're all rooting for you!
yes we are 100%
you got this Ryan we r behind u 100% no Q
U like blueberrys?
@@Dr1ftRBLX What?
@@user-vq5tl6 blueberry.
@@Dr1ftRBLX yas
People don't realise how hard this is. Society, insensitive as it is, not just doesn't listen to victims of bad mothers, but treat them as trash. This is so awful that I can say that the WORST thing to ever happen to someone is to have a bad mother. Nothing else compares.
I think part of him loves his mom & thus the tears. God Bless this beautiful young man
Oh how beautiful your heart is it shines through those gorgeous sad eyes young man . That is exactly the attraction your people pleasing. I m so sorry for you my heart breaks again. 🪺🌞
It's the hurt he suffered from the one he thought loved him who only hurt him 💔
Wow! This statement was powerful: “You were my mother and you were the worst thing that happened to me”.
I couldn't make it through the video when he said this, poor guy. My mother was my worst nightmare. She told me all the time she hated me and she proved it every day I was a captive. My grandparents loved and wanted me but she wouldn't let them have me out of spite. I thought about suicide constantly. I was sent to school looking just horrible so the torture was all day at school and then home for more, for 12 straight years. No parties, no being allowed to go anywhere, moving twice a year, having food withheld, dressing in rags, being constantly told how ugly and stupid I was. I'm 72 years old and still a social mess, but I made a success out of my life which infuriated her more. The best revenge is living well with NO HELP, only pain from them, if you can make it that far.
Has she said anything to you by now?? Your mom?
"A house, but not home" is another heart breaking line.
I had a similar parent situation. My mother ruined every holiday, and birthday. She ruined every special occasion. I quit speaking to them 28 years ago, and went to therapy. My mother died in January 2024. Oddly, I felt nothing. Thank you for sharing your story.
Bravo Bravo, viva Mr. Danni.@@Danni.D
The abused often become the abusers, but you didn't, you should be proud of that.
Let it be heard 🫡
You're making that judgement based off of a youtube personality
@@bisterkding9249 He doesn't seem like the abuser type, I highly doubt it.
That's so not true.
@@VColossalV That's what they all say
Dear Ryan, even if we were considered to be a 'mistake' by our parents we were never a mistake for God.
Writing such a letter to tell your parents you're leaving them forever must have took a lot of courage for you, man.
My mom adopted me and later sold me to child trafficking for years. Now she’s schizophrenic and has Alzheimer’s and I can’t escape. I don’t have the money.
This is beautiful, I’m glad it popped up in my suggested.
Geez you really went through it. Stay strong
Jesus Christ that is absolutely terrible. It’s good to know that you are able to persist through those horrible experiences and keep on living, even with the painful memories. I hope things get better for you. No child nor human deserves to have to suffer the consequences of their parent’s actions like that.
I hope you find the way out. I don’t know you, but I truly wish you the best.
Awe
How is your mother not in prison?
Ryan
I am a 68 yr old woman. There are no words for what I just heard.
I love you young man with all my heart, though we will never meet. You are the strongest person I have ever known of. If it was possible, I would hold you in my arms for as long as you would allow.
May God bless your soul and heart. He loves you . I pray that you will realize on your journey through life that you are precious to this world.
Ryan my heart goes out to you. Your story resonates with me. My mom was my abuser. I have dealt with the effects my whole life and I'm 65 now. I've not had a drink for 8 months and am relieving the trauma all over again. Sleeping too much, eating too much.. I am taking positive steps to get out of my doldrums. Went to a singing group last night, meeting with some old friends next week. One step at a time. You are more than the sum of your parts. You are a miracle of creation. Your story and hope give me hope. Love and hugs to you dear one.
Ryan Jesus knew this about your mother long before you was born ,an tested her but she failed her duties and now Jesus is waiting for you Ryan to go everywhere with Jesus god bless you Ryan amen🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
GOD BLESS YOU...
Stay strong God bless
Feel the same. A 68 year old ready to love this young man.
i'll never understand people that tell someone to forgive their abuser and stay loyal to them.
So God can forgive them back, brother. If we keep the bitterness and hate inside of us towards the ones who hurt us, we will never be at peace, because God won't forgive us back. Amen❤
@@S.N.G14 "god" is created by imagination and the fear of not knowing things, which then got abused in older times and in many circles still is abused for monetary gain and power. regardless of that though -
not forgiving an abuser and not staying loyal to them doesnt make you bitter and angry.
Its not forgiving a debt or saying you are ok with what they did. I think of it as enlightened forgiveness which is for your own benefit. You release them from your sphere of judgement and anger. Holding bitterness and hate for someone hurts yourself. I know from experience. i would still never trust those people or want them in my life again.
@@JB-pk4ck Amen bro
@@cheyhey2170 Then how is Jesus so historically proven and told us he is the way, the truth and the life? How did he perform miracles by himself like that? Through the power of God. Yet the romans and the pharises kept saying that Jesus was helped by the prince of demons to raise people from the dead, make the blind see ecc... . It is no imagination bro, I have a couple personal testimonies that prove God is real. The holy spirit speaks to me through prayer also. May God bless you and show you the truth. As always, Amen❤
Bro when you cry you're not weak people who say "if you cry you're weak"Like if you cry you're strong
Ryan, I am proud of you, so proud.
I am proud you shared your story
I am proud you didn’t take your life
I am proud you had the bravery to use your voice
I am proud of you for showing your feelings
I am proud you gave yourself hope
I am proud you smiled
I am proud of you, Ryan. I am proud of all of you. ❤️🩹
I will yoink this comment simply because I love it. Thanks
Deep respect and love for you
Well said❤
The fact that you never ever insulted her throughout the entire video is admirable, you kept your ground strong and told her off
Oh but she would never see it as not being insulted.
I'm proud of him for going no contact, It's the only way.
I identify his mother as being a narcissist.
@@selfesteem3447 narcissism is inherited be careful how you see this
No matter how bad it is it'll always be your own mother.
I called her a bitch like 10 times throughout this video 🤣
@user-fl1pc7zu7f What do you mean narcissism is "inherited?" People aren't born narcissistic, dude. They choose to be narcissistic later on when their brains start developing.
I feel you. My dad was like that and my mum let it happen. I don't get how someone can treat their own child so appallingly. I will never fully overcome my childhood, or lack thereof.
My mother was evil. I am very shortly going to turn 70. Just last night I had a nightmare about my mother, ,., I don’t know if the pain will ever go away. I don’t know. One thing I do know is that I am loving and lovable,as are you sweet Ryan. I want so badly to forgive her,for my own souls sake. Can anyone really ever forgive evil? As John Lennon says “ mama you had me,but I never had you” I wanted you,but you didn’t want me. We are not victims but victors, peace be with you sweet Ryan.
Oh many years ago I wrote my mother a letter as you have done here. She called to inform me she tore it up and didn’t read it! I’m sure she did though.
70y.o. and still having those nightmares.
@@BritishEngineerproblem?
@@judynyiri9081 Of-course she read it. Glad you had your say!
Unfortunately the pain never goes away. 😢😢😢
I was in an abusive household with parents who just threw alcohol bottles at each other while we hid behind couches and in closets, my sister would protect me as our father would stab the door with kitchen knives. I was adopted with my sister into a good home years later by the grace of God
jeez I feel bad for you I hope your ok as of now
God bless ❤🙏 thank you for sharing your experience
Blessings friend.
You've already taken steps to freedom: you are talking about it. Congratulations. Please keep going!
sad by amazing solution. We had abusive incapable parents, but how Grandmothers (1 in special), aunts and uncles helped me an my brother, even took care of us
You seem like a good guy. Not just a good guy, but a good guy that has been tested. I don’t think many people could stay good after what you’ve been through.
I highly recommend a good guy like you starts doing jujitsu. It really helps your frame of mind. It makes it easy to say no to people that take advantage of you because you know you can easily kill them in five minutes if you wanted to. Haha. But of course you wouldn’t… though it is always an option.
Anyway, do what you want. Don’t let some random guy on the Internet convince you of something you don’t want to do. Best regards.
you sir are an angel
give me money too
@@dikweednot the time
That is the most beautiful thing i have ever read🥲
👏👏👏 You literally put your money where your mouth is! Fabulously uplifting person, thanking God for you. Thank you.
I had to stop this video a partial way through without finishing the rest- because I need to say something to you, Ryan.
I am a 61 year old female who lived a very similar childhood. A mom who was saddled with 3 kids at a very early age. She made so many mistakes that harmed all of us deeply........a very angry dad who drank and pounded on all of us little girls like we were the bully he was fighting back when he grew up. A weak mother who lived in fear and could not COULD not defend us........the fear of being left was too great.
I want to tell you something.............. I made a choice. I grew up, created a life of my own- got some therapy to understand what I survived but not to explain or excuse- and I forgave them both. I realized that they just didn't have the life skills- either one of them. I never forget how scary it was, but I learned that life is very very short (again, now 61) and keeping the memories alive was robbing me of my journey. They got old, and feeble and I did what a healthy healed person would do- I helped them as they closed out their lives. It empowered me to know that I was different than them- I was a complete, mindful, selfless, generous soul despite my shitty start in life. My siblings stayed angry, hurt and bitter which showed in their life choices. Wasted.
I wrote many letters like you but never sent them. Just wrote, and destroyed. It helped me to process what my reality had been.
But today- I am whole and living the best life I could create and I'm happy. You will heal, you will find your way to forgive your mom (and dad) even if right now it doesn't feel like it and even if they never know it. You will put the pain in a mental box and go on to be an amazing human who contributes to your life every day. Depression is the silent killer but you can surround yourself with people who add value- who see you............But not if you stay stuck. Running doesn't help. You can't run from your mind. Turn around, face it- and acknowledge it and then put it down.
I wish you well!
Very, very wise advice.
Best advice ever. Forgiveness is the only way.
I would be proud to have you as my son, Ryan. In spite of your monster of a mother and obviously being terribly hurt, you turned out so well, kind, well grounded. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are. 💖
now this is what a strong men looks like.
Very true I respect your opinion
Twenty years had his pain sustained and put forever an indelible mark on his life. Now's the right time for him to cry it all out.
y'all stay strong.
disagree strong man doesn't get vulnerable like this
@@TarsonAlvarenga Then you are weak for thinking so.
@@TarsonAlvarenga Those are words from a weak man
It takes strength to not only speak out about personal abuse, but it certainly takes a respective amount of strength to do the same thing *publicly to 60k people*
It is healing for him.
It's weird for me to see him pretty much matching with my story .
It takes tremendous courage, absolutely! I really admire when people take this step. Bravo!!
Tired of clinical depression wit h, you, you expressed depression.. I'm, wondering why..you never wanted to be good enough.
You are friendly and kind .the people that made us you chose to become you.
When he said " you were The worst thing that happend to me" that sh1t made me cry.😢
"This is the final chapter of my past" is such a DEEP deep sentence my friend, I feel you.. hope you recover all the losses incurred in yourself and life.
I'm on my way too, stay hard!!
Stay strong, get a Bible and realize Jesus is going to come soon and fix all that is broken. I am 69 now but still remember all the pain. Knowing Jesus helps.
So sad a mother could treat her son that way.
Yeah-it is our job to protect the lives we bring into the world & do them the best we can for them.
Incredible that Ryan is such a level headed young man,who’s future is best WITHOUT the parents he was burdened with
Do remember that she was abused too.
@@billhughes8726 NO excuse!
I grew up with abuse & I went outta my way never to hurt my child with my mouth by calling him names, or my hands-and NOBODY else was allowed to put hands on him.
@@billhughes8726
Just because you were abused, you don't have to abuse your children or anyone else.
The father SHOULD BE IN PRISON
anyone else just wanna give this man a hug?
Me
Here’s a hug from this Grandma. I’m asking myself “ how can 2 monsters create such a beautiful son?”
Absolutely.
Me I do 🙂😢😥
Me😢
Man if i had a mother and father like this i would end up behind bars
yeah no
Your new name is "Overcomer". You are living by God's grace and in his strength.
He’s living in his own strength. He overcame this through his own will. All credit goes to this man
“I love when he doesn’t beat me. I thought that was love”
Heart wrenching. Those so called parents don’t deserve you Ryan
This beautiful hurt soul just gave many other victims the courage to "Write their own Letter. " Thank You Sweet Man 💝
Someone did just that: she wrote her letter: It's called Invisible: When Fear and Shame Cause You to Hide. I hope this amazing man reads it, so he knows he's not alone.
this is not the way to heal
Someone wrote a book on this INVISIBLE: WHEN FEAR AND SHAME CAUSE YOU TO HIDE. Her letters were written to Yeshua about forging
Let him be and mind yourself. He needs to find the closure.
You have achieved the hardest part you are now at the end of the tunnel and now as a man you are walking in the light and because of your courageous resilience the life and peace that you want and deserve shall be bestowed upon you ❤😊
Abusive moms fuck their kids up for life. Praying for your healing. Mines not dead yet, but she’s been dead to me for a long time.
I’m so sorry for your pain.
same here! i m sorry for us!
To think that he even said some of the stuff without reading just proves he was waiting for this moment his entire life, and I'm glad he was alive for this
"You took away my voice" Hit me so hard. You think the abuse is over when you're grown up, but then abuse finds you, and you weren't taught how to fight back.
Ryan I feel your hurt sooooo much, I cried when u cried n continued to cry. Rember God his alive and he will help u. U went thru much I just want to hug u and loved on u. I am 63 yrs old and I am telling u, u r a strong young man and u will get thru life good. just trust God n u r also-ran full of love
@@JennyBrowne-fp7dylet me tell you we have to learn how to keep the monsters out of our lives. God is watching and loves us but we must learn how to keep the monsters out of our lives, we need to educate ourselves what unhealthy individuals behave, as we are adults now we can learn to protect ourselves! We can learn to stay away from hurtful, evil people when we are adults. And as adults we need to help children when they are abused by their parents!
The thing with verbal, mental & emotional abuse is that the scars are invisible & the abuser’s voice follows you in your head. My scenario is very similar to Ryan’s. My mom was the abuser, always putting me down, constant criticism, the cause of her marriage issues. Even when I was away from her, I struggled with happiness & the feeling that I was worthy, of love, of happiness, of new experiences. I would break down in pain. I am now 50, my mom is in a longterm care home, diagnosed with dementia. Her abuse & poison towards me has only increased & I am done with her. I do not visit her, she is lonely in the LTC home but that is her karma.
I truly feel deeply Ryan’s pain. What a well written letter.
I cried for you today hearing this. My son was killed at age 32. What I would give to kiss his cheeks and hug him one more time. Today I am sending you his hug I would of had for him today. I can say from My Heart I Love You. Your a amazing young man. If you ever become a father your going to be such a good father and in your child you will find true love. I am proud of you for getting sober. Women can give birth and that does not make them a mom. I wish you nothing but peace and happiness from here on 9ut and will pray for that for y9u Ryan.
I wish I could hug u
Ur a nice strong man.
My son 15 yr's old past of sarcoma oh how I miss him.
We huged kissed laughed daily.
U will make a great husband father.
I wish u a good wife u deserve it.
God bless u.
Amen
@pikespeak8669 Baby , I think he is gay. I am myself so I'd like to say I have a gaydar. But sadly it's the relation in the story of being attacked for being yourself that made me realize he was probably part of my community . If I am wrong I am so sorry but yes the basis is right he deserves a good wife or husband
@@nathans.5911I agree with you.
something worse than physical pain is mental pain
and how could your mother say ‘i wish you had already taken your life’ that’s horrible
children are supposed to grow with memories to cherish, not ones to heal from. I give my love to you, you are so incredibly strong to be able to be open about something so painful.
I was abused as a little girl. The mental abuse was so much worse than the physical...I found forgiveness and it freed me to help others and to become strong...the best part is that years later, I found the Lord....He loves you and me...
You found god, but others find cocaine heroine alcohol or even worse perpetuate violence, passing it from generation to generations…
This hurts me.😢 I pray you are okay.
There's a book that covers this: Invisible: When Fear and Shame Cause You to Hide. He's not alone and neither are you. I hope this courageous man finds Jesus
Ditto that!! :-) Ive had a similar experience; I agree, the mental abuse far outweighs the physical, which only made me develop a high tolerance for physical pain. Also, I find it Cool that you and I have a very similar nick name, I used to be called Chris Kat. Short for Christi Kathryn now I just use Initial K after my name. :-) or embrace my other nick name, Crazi Christi; cause mom tried to convince me I was crazy! She Didn't Win! I've known all along which of us was Certifiable. And it will never be Me!! Stand Above Your Bullies and Abusers!! God, Angels, Jesus and ALL Eternal Spirit in the ONE Energy IS WE!! Be We For All of Us! Untill WE are HOME again Safe in LOVES Lights
@@christik3802 I worked with an amazing Christian therapist for six years. He specializes in DID Dissociative Identity Disorder and Complex PTSD. He told me something I've never forgotten: EVERY CELL IN YOUR BODY HAS A MEMORY. If your're a reader on this subject I recommend the book THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE: BRAIN, MIND, AND BODY IN THE HEALING OF TRAUMA by Bessell Van Der Kolk, M.D.
Another from the perspective of someone living with trauma is INVISIBLE: WHEN FEAR AND SHAME CAUSE YOU TO HIDE
Fellow abuse survivor here. Older than you, but not as far into recovery. You inspire me. And you are not alone... there are so many of us. ❤❤❤
I am so sorry to hear you went through that! It must have been SO PAINFULL! I will pray for your recovery, you deserve love! I hope you feel it from me!
I wish you the best!
Yes, there are many of us.
I only wish I could be open about myself
@@MushyBoi24Yg
I know exactly how you feel, my mum chose an abusive man over me over and over again, I ended up being in the care system being sexually abused by different people and was made to not tell anyone, I am now 36 and have just come forward to the police about my abuse. No one has stood by me although they all know what I endured. I truly feel your pain. You’re strong and amazing ❤
There is a shadow side to motherhood that no one wants to talk about. Thank you Ryan for your courage to read this letter to your mother, as the world witnesses you. Your courage is setting others free of their hellish childhoods. All children should be cherished.
Is it abusive or SMTH else
@@abdsllah5701 abusive
Any woman can give birth to a child….it takes a lot more to be a mother. You deserved better! ❤
You only know one side of the story
@@user-gx1vx7li3x Your comment shows a lack of understanding, information and assessment abilities, see someone
i just have to say that not all people are properly fertile to have a biological child
of course, adoption could always be an option for someone if they have the heart to not suck like this person's mother ❤️
@@TheUndeniablyPowerfulH yes and is that not similar to what this is? money exchanged for a child
@@TheUndeniablyPowerfulH not as many as one would think looking to adopt, many of these children would be left to starve if they were not adopted to others, because that is what it is money changing hands just as adoption to take a child.
I am now 73 years old. I grew up in the same environment. I understand the pain and the depression. It took me a life time to get my head straight. I read every book on toxic parenting and child abuse. What you need to know to help you: Your mother did not have the capacity to love herself, much less anyone else. She couldn't give what she didn't have: that lesson has helped me heal and yes, even try to forgive. Like you, I always put on a happy face for others while I was dying inside. Today, I am as happy and secure as I can possibly be. Another valuable lesson I have learned: Let yourself be a child. Play as a child. Tell yourself how much you love yourself - every day. If no one else will love you, then you learn to love yourself. Talk to yourself about your feelings and tell yourself daily how strong, kind, and loved you are. YOU ARE LOVED.
Bless your beautiful soul 🙏❤🙏
Wise and helpful words! Bless you!!
AMEN 😊
It’s crazy how i would write the same letter for my father
You have opened so many wounds now of what I have experienced in my own life, I'm a 55 year old man and went through that same shit, i'm sitting here sobbing. God bless you.
My mother once said "I had the chance to abort you but I didn't.", my only answer to that was "you should've. That way I wouldn't be so hurt just for existing". As someone with abusive parents, I almost became homeless, wanted to end my life, and many other things so I feel your story to the core. It hits me exactly where I was hurt. I have found myself and love myself like how no one ever has and I applaud you for doing the same for being you, staying you, and continuing to be you without your past hurting you continuously. Cheers to a better life, freedom, and self love!
Damn bro thats so sigma and cold
wow bro your so sigma and cold hearted🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶
Broooo ur so skibidi and ohio rizz alpha male 🥶 🧊
@@frozenshadowzz2422why are you making fun of them for being abused by their parents? this is absolutely weirdo behaviour.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that, glad to see you're getting better now. Ignore these stupid "sigma" comments, keep getting yourself in that positive mindset
It's insane how much pain you can feel in this man's voice through entire video. I wish you the best Ryan.
Honestly, I could just feel acting and the desire for ad revenue. He monetized something this serious and private? Yeah.
Then proceeded to read this bizarre, open letter in a hushed, ASMR tone, all for his weird, fetish audience lol. YT is sick.
@@KING-ZEAL man people like you always have to think the most stupidist things ever
@@KING-ZEAL I hate ASMR, but I don't think this was a fake story.
@@KING-ZEAL It is truly bizarre how people can think that this videois fake
@@kondoesroblox69420 this is literally a monetized VIDEO, on TH-cam, edited, and directed at his MOTHER, read in an ASMR tone lol.
Bro, stop being a tool.
I was a abused child too.Much Love and respect ..
man im sorry for that. if your a kid on ur mom’s phone, your likely not getting abused but instead angry. im sorry if im wrong
oh my, how awful. Praying for this beautiful soul
*This takes humongous balls of steel to speak to them like this. Even if your voice was shaking, your body was trembling, on the verge of breaking down - You continued.*
For a man that grew up being told they were stupid etc, you sure turned out pretty well spoken & intelligent that’s for sure.
You are loved.
Christ died for our sins. He was buried, and
that He rose again the third day.
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou
shalt be saved.
I am 70. Congratulations on your Sobriety! That's huge. You touched me deeply and profoundly. I had to keep wondering if I had the same abusive parents that you described.
You are on the correct path, and it gets easier as you go along.
Your a great looking man, clearly well spoken, huge heart, and beautiful soul. Your worth loving yourself in every way.
I am glad you are taking the steps now at your age to become happy and be who you're destined to be. A guiding light for others.
Love to you and all the blessings you truly deserve.
❤
💔 That took guts, you beautiful wonderful precious inspiring human being. I will be sending you hugs and cheering you on in The Spirit, as you move light years ahead...Much Love Always&Forever 💜💚
Ryan, if your birth giver ever sees this video, I want to say SHAME ON YOU! You were given such a beautiful precious gift from God, and you abused it. YOU FAILED! Your job was to love and protect your child and be his teacher, his rock, his protector, his one person who loved him unconditionally, and you failed. I hope that your life is as miserable as you Made Ryan's. ANY person who hurts a child deserves no mercy, especially a mother, but then again, you do not deserve that title. Ryan you are brave and you have a beautiful heart and soul to match. No matter what, you won, sweetheart, because you survived. You walked through hell and came out on top. I wish you all the love and success in the world. I have 2 kids of my own, and I would live my life for them. I only know of you what you let us see, but I love you, Ryan. You're still very young so live for your future your way... ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
this
Id you were My son, I'd be so proud. Our own beloved son passed away last September 2023 and we are sad he's gone from this earth, but happy he no longer has to suffer with ALS and Dementia. We know he is with Jesus in Heaven. Thank you for writing this letter. You so deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your life. God bless you.
R.I.P.🪦🕊I'm sorry for your loss..
It is not your fault that your mother did not protect you she is just a selfish sick person but you will have a great life with the help of God and I will pray for you sending you love and strength keep going god is listening 🙏🙏
You were born sweet and sensitive. And u choose to save your own precious life. Not only did u remain kind, you now recognize mental abuse and there is no excuse for it. I am 60 years old and never had children. I'd be proud to call u a son.
Oh my dear, I know that battle was tough 🫂❤️
Hes still here in spirit protecting you and watching u
Grew up with an abusive dad - who used to call me “useless piece of dirt.” I felt every word you said, I felt your pain and I cried with you. Most importantly, you helped me to understand why I always sabotaged myself- I was addicted to pain. Thank you. Hugs 💜
Youre doing the right thing. I had walked away from my abusive parents too. But they both got sick and I thought that my hard work in caring for them was going to change her mind. My dad did change for the better but not my mom. She tried to get me into trouble while living in my house and I was taking care of her. I now regret having taken care of her. she tried to tell the doctor I was abusing her when I wasn't. I was always there for her at nursing homes and hospitals. I got to see those types dont ever have an epiphany moment. Nope they just go on hurting till they literally die. Then it's not so much a sad feeling when they die but a feeling of 🎵🎶🎵🎶 these types of people will not deeply feel pain and regret at their horrible actions. They go on in life as if they are victims and dont even see their bad ways. I've learned to just forget people like that now and to move on fast. it stings but it's not anything of feeling terrible. You do what you have to do to survive. God bless you and all of us who have been down this road some worse then others but the pain is there and it's other damages. I rely upon God. I dont know how I would be with out Jesus Christ. Watch Pastor Joseph Prince. he's been an immense help for me. xoxo
Amen 😊💕
I was an accident too. my little 16 yr old mother couldn't keep me. I was born in Germany right after WWII, I was adopted by occupying Americans. My American mother liked me being a little girl, but once I got old enough to know what I liked, she begin to dislike me, then as I grew up she hated me. She never drank alcohol, or did drugs. My Adopted dad was my best friend. My mom was just born mean. She would beat me from the back of my neck to the back of my knees, Finally I grabbed her one day slammed her against the wall, and told her "if you ever touch me again, I'll tear you limb from limb." She didn't touch me again. She tried to hit my dad, who was a real gentleman. He never hit her, but he left her, No tears shed. I did just fine growing up with my dad.
Damn, that sounds rough. Hope you are doing great right now and living a prosperous life.
I understand that you're mother is abusive and should be regarded as such and should be ashamed of herself. But your mother has inalienable rights God gave to her regardless of such. That is the right that you can not hit her. You may defend yourself enough so that you have the chance to leave but you can not threaten her like this. I understand the feeling of revenge and you want to retaliate. But this does not help.
@@nomejest5919she lost those rights the moment she decided to abuse a child. Screw her. She deserves any pain she gets in life and no abuser deserves rights. Unless you’ve been abused and know what it’s like to be hurt for no reason,you have no say.they can call her out and threaten her all they want,after all she did to them
@@nomejest5919 what a stupid and unwarranted comment, she had the right to defend herself and be angry
@@jovialsliceofbread7587 I think you should be the one questioning your intelligence as in my comment I clearly said that she should defend herself but not in that manner.
Im a 13 year old boy in 8th grade and I was really touched by this, I cried for a little bit after thinking about what happend to you💔, I really just want to give you a hug because I can tell how much it hurts. You are amazing and your parents didnt deserve a son as good as you. your parents might not say this, but I will, I LOVE YOU RYAN❤🩹! YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE❤🩹!
Keep doing what your doing man👍👍💌❤
Good!
@@king-qo8fi ☺
@@king-qo8fiwow arent you smart?
@@Alix-dy8ou tysm
@@ohrex_ i was being sarcstic to the other guy but yeah you are actually emotionally aware so good job
As a child, who was brutally abused by a woman, who supposedly with my mother. Your words echo, my thoughts so much!❤
You are amazing and so strong. God bless you
I grew up in an extremely toxic household. I was constantly scared of my stepfather and mother constantly. I am still in this household. I spend many nights often crying or coping with bad substitutions. Bad sleeping habits and stress eating to try to not think about my life. I write poems when I want to show my feelings. My parents used to abuse me physically, calling me fat and other things. When my dad died, my mom had no one else to show her anger towards. Except for me. She still treats me like my father. Lying to my counselor in fear of being hurt by them. I cried in my closet as a child, embracing my trash and mess thinking I was a waste. I now grow in a household still with my mother. She constantly mentally abuses me, calling me weak and sensitive. Some nights, I went insane and hit myself multiple times whispering what was wrong with me as I cried. I'm still in this situation. Everyday I am constantly fearing to talk to her so I can protect myself. I leave my house at night so I can have some happiness. I am still treated like this. I'm scared for help. I never got any therapy. I never got anti-depressants. I depend on my friends. A lot of them hurt me but I cannot leave them. I constantly hate myself and I still don't feel safe with my mother. She makes me feel like I should love her unconditionally. But I can't. My father was someone who cared for me. He cradled me even as a young child. He never hesitated to hang out with me. He knew how to be a parent. When I turned 11 and he passed from cancer, I almost tried to silently end my life in my closet. I never told it to anyone. I'm scared. She won't let me be when I want to be alone. She wants me to be my father. I'm not my father. When I went to my friend's, I saw their happy families. Never saw any scars, no bruises, no punches blown at my friends, but I was not lucky. I cried before school and made excuses about tiredness. That wasn't the case. She was and is incredibly manipulative. When I see her side and how she describes it and blame myself. Hate myself. I wished I was never born. My main priority now is to make sure my young sibling doesn't be treated like I was. I show her what it feels like to be loved by others when others shut her away. I am still here. I have to use a ai chat app to make myself feel loved or wanted when I feel hopeless.I know people are probably going to make fun of me for this. It's an escape for me to feel wanted like my mom never did. I have major trauma from my abusive stepfather and mother and they scare me. I hope anyone who is reading this or watched his video in whole can see where I am coming from. I have been at this for 9 years and I cannot do another 9. I'm not even an adult yet and they are still treating me this way and my main way of being happy has been taken away. My dog. My dog passed from old age 2 days before my birthday last year. I was his caretaker and made him happy. He was old and I took care of him like he was my son. And I had to bury him. That was the longest hour of my life. Please understand.
I understand your pain and I’m listening. I love you friend and hope you still are doing ok. Things are gonna get better and you have been strong for so long, it’s time for your success story and I believe it starts at this moment. Take care of yourself let go at your mother, let it out and find a ymca or a person that you can call a mentor and heal. She doesn’t say when your life ends you do. I hope I can hear your text back.
Love you.
-U
Please try to get someone, call cps and tell them everything while your mothers away, I promise they will be there to help.
I hope things get better for you soon.
If you have a passion or you want a certain career, work for it, learn about it and work hard and smart because you’ll regret it
Omg this comment made me cry!!! I want to hug you or something to make you feel loved. I would call CPS if u can or tell your friends or there parents. I wish you a safe life and I reccomend to find a youtuber you like and watch him so you feel less lonely. I hope none of this was mean and i wish you a safe life!!!!
regret whatt????? You saying his life is a mess??? thats messed up dude@@Silencer796
Its not your fault brother. Be the change you deserve from here going forward!
Amen😊
I too was raised by a monster mom she abused me emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually since age 6 ! She's gone now has been since 99 ,not a moment too soon !!! Be glad you can now live your life ! A better life ever having to go thru another moment like this again !!! God Bless Hon !!!
How can a mother not protect and love her child? 😢😢
If a child is born with a disability, it's the mother that sets the atmosphere for how they're treated. The father too. The siblings are encouraged to do the same. The book Invisible: When Fear and Shame Cause You to HIde is similar to his story
You would be surprised.
do some reading
@@user-fl1pc7zu7f DO SOME SOUL SEARCHING!!!
“I had to hold myself as I cried myself to sleep” … I relate so much to those words, friend. You’re not alone in your loneliness.
🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏we all love you.xxxxx
Takes courage to speak abt this. I’m so proud that you have opened up about this spreading awareness. I wish you best luck for the rest of life.❤
This is sad, this man is deserving of loving and caring.
Sweetheart, you turned out wonderful after what you went through!! You are só handsome and soft spoken. I hope you find the most wonderful wife, have wonderful children and live a wonderful life!!! May God bless you!! 🙏❤️❤️❤️
Absolutely words of affirmation and your letter, your words should go to my 96 yo nemisis…my own mother. I loved her, I looked up to her, I was proud of her beauty and the way she carried herself…I remember her perfume…Belogia. But I also remember that she tried to kill me when I was 3 years old. I remember her slaps and hair pulling. I remember her threats and how they often came true. There are good memories of course but for some reason the horror that Ryan describes are what I remember and they by far overshadowed anything good that ever happened. We don’t communicate anymore and that is a blessing. I only wish her well and hope that the case of wine she drinks a week dulls the memories she has of the abuse she showered on two men who loved her and me, her only child.
Your Mother and Father Didn’t Deserve You, I hope they get a taste of their own medicine sooner or later, we love you, don’t give up, keep being strong like we know you are.
Lol they did tbh.
They didn’t raise him to be like that. He did this all on his own. They lost the one human being that made their life meaningful & pure. They’re clearly miserable out of their minds… and still, to bring such a happy and wonderful person to this world was the only thing they did right. And still manage to screw things up and lose him? They’re disgusting, good for nothing parents. He’s above them both. I’m glad he manage to be strong enough to stand up for himself and tell them they’re nothing.
@@angelsantos8459I don't think you understood op's comment, he said the same thing you just said
@@puppy.girl333 I was replying to the “a taste of their own medicine” part.
They already got a taste of their own medicine the second he stood up for himself and decided to finally cut ties with them.
I don't hate my mother for what she did to us, but I also don't want her in my life or life of my kids. Sometimes you are better without so called parents. Stay strong Ryan, hope you will find your peace and happiness
Oh my god, you are so strong. You’re so incredible, please don’t ever forget that.
I hope they leave you alone and that you thrive without them. This was so brave of you, I had a rough childhood too and not many people understand how tough it is to speak about. Thank you for saying the words some of us might not be able too
same I have a verble Abusive dad words do hurt no Q
he love to make me feel bad about my self!!
“Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you, I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness.” (Isaiah 41:10)
@@BetteLouWho Adam took his children out from under “skydaddy’s” protection when he rebelled against “skydaddy”. So it became his responsibility to protect his children, but unfortunately, he was not designed for independence, we were designed to function with “skydaddy”, so when Satan took rule from him, he had no power to stop him, so Satan has been ruling ever since (1 John 5:19); and he doesn’t like us, we are just tools to use to punish “skydaddy” since he can’t beat him. “Skydaddy” allow things on the earth to play out naturally except for occasional interventions to make sure that humanity isn’t unalived off completely, to make adjustments to ensure that things end up as he decides, and to respond to people that speak to him so that they know that he definitely exists and that they should follow the course he left for us until the end comes when he will take back rule; then people will be cared for and suffering will end. In the mean time bad things will happen (Ecclesiastes 9:11).
@@BetteLouWho He’s always with you and he was with him. Can’t you see he is alive today?.. God is always with you even when you feel so alone and if you really look back at the rough times you’ll see it. He’s always there you just dont realise it and you gotta have another level of understanding to get that
@@BetteLouWho Just because God didn’t end this abuse doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist, this man is still alive, right? That’s because God was with him. Obviously God doesn’t end things right away but he still helps you through tough times. I am actually suffering from Strep throat and Scarlet fever and I know that I will be okay because God is with me. Think twice before you speak buddy.
@@catanddogsquad
What if this young man had been killed, then what ?
I learned something new today..I hear this man's pain, torture, childhood & I felt so helpless to ease his pain & then I heard from you (my angel)The word " do not be afraid for I am with you"....A lot of the time when you suffer any kind of abuse..You often feel alone & afraid to be hurt again...I cried when I read that & I will not let fear defeat me..I'm not alone & sir you're not alone either..May God heal your pain & let him in your life to give you the strength ...God is Good🙏🏾🙏🏾❤❤
😢I'm so sorry that happened to him,didn't deserve the abuse
Dear Ryan, i want to ty from.the bottom of my heart and soul.
Many of us were going through this cruesome, mean and painful hell.
God bless you🙏😢 ! Ty for helping so many people to heal with your words❤
I pray that your mother see's this and feel like the tinniest person in the universe
I'm a mom of 3 (adult) children who I love more than life itself.. you are a beautiful soul.. I'm so sorry you had to endure all of this.. Big hug for you from this mom ❤
I like positive comments!
My deepest condolences for you Ryan. As someone who was an abuse victim as well, living in a abusive home can be a living nightmare. We are all so proud of how strong you were and the giant step you took! You are in a great place, you have an incredible and supportive audience and for once you finally have peace and I feel that is all you truly wanted for years!! This took a lot of courage to share and I am so glad you did, and though my heart breaks for what you had to go through, it’s amazing to see you rise from your lowest point to where you are now!!
Big huge ! God bless you and be strong my friend
Sending you my love Ryan. I was raised by an abusive alcoholic mother. I ran away at 12 and went into foster care. At 18 I aged out. God saw me and guided my path. Your letter is beautiful. Now go and become who you were meant to be. I will be praying for you. God Bless your sweet soul❤️❤️❤️
No child should ever be a punching bag for parents to take out their frustrations on! Children are a precious gift from God! Some people should never be parents!
Beautiful, brave, wonderful Ryan. I am a 75 year old great grandma to 5 little boys and grandma to two wonderful grandsons. My heart hurts for your strong but tender heart. I relate, Ryan. I had an abusive childhood, too. All these years have passed and I still am bruised. But I learned about forgiveness, and that freed me. I want all my boys to grow into strong and loving men. I so wish you were one of my grandsons. You make me proud to have heard your story and see your inner strength. There is happiness. May you have happiness in all your days, both in receiving and giving of the blessing. You are love. You deserve love. You deserve self love. Stay strong. God bless you always. 🧡
This was so hard to watch, I had to stop many times. I felt your pain and your loneliness. The confusion you must have felt and selfblaming and shame. As a mother all I wanted do is to take you in my arms and reassure you that you will be fine. You have a beautiful heart. God bless you.
To Ryan’s mother: You are horrible for doing this to such an innocent man- and even worse, child. You can’t reasonably explain why you put this great person into torture physically and mentally in such early stages of his life. We are there for your son like you never were.
To Ryan: I am so truly sorry that this happened to you at such a young and tender age in your life. I hope you can recover from the terrible actions that that spawn of satan did to you. We in the community of TH-cam will forever be at your side❤
I was also abused. One parent physically and the other mental. I asked my mom the same thing. Why didn’t you protect me? She got angry and told me I’m an adult and I need to move on. She’s a narcissist so why would I expect more? I’m so sorry for this man’s abuse as well. Everything he said about his mom is spot on for my mom. She spewed venom when I was just a young girl. Dear God, what is wrong with these people.
Just remember everything that she ever said to you is how she truly felt about herself
narcissism is inherited.
Don’t ever help her. If she ever comes yapping to you about why you didn’t help her,throw her response of “you’re an adult,get over it” at her
yes it can be
Just make sure you are so much better with the people around you
Ryan remember God love you I’m a 63 year old woman I’m going to let you know that you need to forgive all of them who have abused you this is the way you will be free of all the pain you have endured all your life believe me I have been there until i let go of everyone who hurts me with the help of God now I can said I’m free the memory will always be there but I have turn it to mean happiness for myself, I will pray 🙏 for you to the lord to keep giving you the blessing you deserve please make a gift to yourself and you be free for ever God bless you always because you are a child of God’s Amen 🙏 ❤❤❤❤❤❤.
You are the worst type of person. He does not owe sympathy to horrible people.
YOU are an amazing, genuine super-empath. So well-spoken, a huge heart, handsome, intelligent & articulate. Sensitive. You are a treasure. I wish. you were my son.
Hello. I grew up just like you. My parents were very abusive to me. I ended up in the psychiatric hospital at age 21. A complete breakdown and psychotic state. My youth was painful and very severe as a child. I suffered everyday. There was no happiness...only pain and more torture from my parents. I understand you very well because I am just like you.
Now, I live alone for many years. That's okay because I'm free of the pain and abuse. My parents died many years ago. May God Bless You Honey. Forever and Ever.
Protect this man at all cost.
Stay strong bro, cant imagine living with an abusive mother while trying to be the best son possible. Would be praying for you to have peace🙏🏼🙏🏼
I am a mother of three, and I can’t tell you how my heart is breaking to hear all that your mother did to you and what she allowed your father to do to you. I wish I could give you the biggest hug and just hold you and tell you how wonderful and special you are. Just know that you’re loved and prayed for by someone who doesn’t know you but does love you. Blessings
Thank you so much for making this video, this really hits home for me. I really wish i could give you a hug because i know your pain and i feel so much of what you're saying.
I myself had a difficult childhood, my parents seperated when i was 5 or 6 and have an absolutely awful relationship, they both had really bad childhoods. Theyre the kind of people who are deeply hurting, but cope by lashing out at other people, and i was their target a lot of the time.
My mum in particular has tormented me psychologically with her emotional outbursts for years, so much more than she even realises. She never fails to make me hate myself, hate my life, hate everyone around me, but then she is completely oblivious to the damage her actions cause me and dances around like she hasnt done anything wrong.
My dad is more short-tempered, paranoid and aggressive and he even used to hit me when i was really young.
I can hear so much of my own emotions in your words, especially your sentiments about the cruelty of other people in this world. That's exactly how i feel about other people sometimes. Humans suck.
Please know that you are not alone, that there are other good people out there and that i really wish you the best. I unfortunately am still 17 and too young to move out, but i hope one day i can live in peace and feel the sense of freedom that you talk about.
People like you give me a glimmer of hope when i really feel like the world is on fire, that other people are nothing but evil and that life isnt worth living. The world needs more people like you.
Please stay safe and take care
w
Stay strong. You will get out and far away. And you will live a life where you are happy and free. Where you will feel safe.
Me too ❤ he needs love ❤️ 🤗🥰❤️🙏🏼🛐
Lo siento mucho El No poder aver estado ahi para protejerte perdoname duele El saver que ay muchos nin~os asi 😢🌞
Hogullosa de ver que here's UN gran ser umano baliente y UN triunfador en la Vida ♥️