i just watched number three again 😎. and yes ….I DID WIN 👍🏼. and that feels so good . she beat me down for 40 years but ….. it’s over . i found my very first friend again and we are very happy.. some thing i never thought would ever happen again . again.. thank you Danish.. your helping so many 🙏🏼
Walk away, and be prepared to be stalked. My ex (first husband) stalked me and my children (from my second marriage) for 23 years. Whenever I moved, within a few months he and his new wife would move to within 5 minutes driving distance from my my new location When my children started work at the neighbourhood Mall's food court, my ex and his new family would spend hours there drinking coffee and watching them. He would follow my daughter in his car and offer her rides home whenever he saw her walking from school without her brothers; the children soon learnt to travel in a pack. He tried to be chummy with my sons. It got extremely creepy. Do not hesitate to inform the police should the stalking Narc not back off when told to.
Mine had his parents find him someone to marry quite quickly after he broke up with me. I thought id be free from his harassment aftef hearing that he was married. But no, he still tries to get me to talk to him, tells me he misses me and still can't forget me. I have no emotions left for him. So I've learnt to just stonewall him. He hates it😂 i don't believe his crocodile tears at all. Told him i have no interest in married men. Plus he moved abroad for work so i feel like i can freely go about my life without fear of running into him anywhere
He ghosted me back in early January and I asked once by text what was going on, got ignored and then got busy. I mailed back all of his things and all gifts to him- so he had zero reason to show up and I had nothing to obsess over. I deleted all photos and conversations, I didn't trust myself even with his number on my blocked list so I deleted his number completely as I didn't want the temptation of being able to access his number at a weak point. 3 months later he text and I had done so much work and made so much progress that I said one thing "I'm not your backup plan for when sh*t hits the fan with someone else" Then I changed my number with my provider and that was that, today I am 251 days free of him and it takes work not to reminisce but videos like this help me stay strong 🙌
Good for you. I did the same thing. I placed all of my things in storage. I bought a ticket out of town. Then I deleted his phone number. Moved out of town and did not call him.
@@Katie_Woo GOOD FOR YOU//STAY STRONG YOU WILL MAKE IT 🫶🏿✌🏿🌹LEARN WELL FROM THE LESSONS LEARNED FOR ME 18 YRS OF NARC CRAZINESS AND 5 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN/11 GRANDCHILDREN IM STILL STANDING🔥🙌🏿
yup she's got three kids from other guys I'm younger and don't have any but she still trys to control me even tho she knows I won't cheat makes everything look like my fault
@@theresaelizabethelijah117 of cmon most women never learn, to them abuse is love and they cling to it with all they have. They are completely addicted to drama and abuse and can no longer function without it.
Exactly and once you figure them out they know they can never go back and that makes them angry and they will try to destroy you even more. They will not hold back once they are exposed.
I’m more the non traditional way of how most would deal with narcissistic rage. They like to slam cup boards. Their head was right by a cupboard one day and I let it smack right there beside them. SMACk!! Not a word said. They let out an exhausted sigh.
When you finally meet the real person behind the mask, it confirms everything. It is how you should always remember them so you can heal from the trauma.
Most narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored; the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder because of their need to feel validated. As the narcissist understands that you are intentionally ignoring them will deflate their inflated ego. Their self-esteem is connected by how much attention they can get from you or others. A person with high levels of narcissism can get more aggressive when being ignored. When they think you are ignoring them, some won’t be able to control their temper, so they may lash out or change their approach by being aggressive with their calls or text messages demanding to talk or communicate with you. They will never be ready to discuss or be accountable for what they did or said to you. They will just expect you to accept what they want or need while they will be very hypocritical by ignoring their actions. Yes, they will be mad or upset at you for ignoring them, but when or once you call them out on their behavior, they will get mad at you, and in return ignore you. Even if you ignore a narcissist for whatever reason that may be, they will eventually get bored and seek attention from someone else. The narcissist may replace you with someone else who won’t ignore them and give them the attention, and control that they seek. This is why ignoring a narcissist should be more about you, and less about them. This is how they operate, and how they satisfy their narcissistic supply. Solution: Ignoring them is one of the easiest ways to redeem your control, regain your sense of clarity, and restore your power by focusing your attention on yourself. As far as what happens to a narcissist when you ignore them is really irrelevant. May you know the signs. May you not become a victim. And may you be more concern about your healing, recovery, and emotional-mental health. Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: Barryinvestigation@gmail. com.
They're so manipulative. If one thing doesn't work they quickly move to the next. Its like watching someone running around on a merry go round. If they can they'll try to get you on that ride as well. Its so gross. They never have any answers for anything. No accountability. They answer questions with more questions and always try to put the blame on someone else. Anyone else. But once you see them with the mask off you realise how disgusting they really are. And they scramble to put it back on but we know who they really are at that point. The mask will never work on me again. He hates that he can't manipulate or gaslight me anymore
@@lilfairycupcakeI call it that too. Mine repeated the same patterns with ex girlfriends and eventually me. He renovated the houses to be the same, bought the same furniture, etc. Beyond it being dangerous and hurtful to the victims, it really is pathetic. Hollow people with no joy.
@@artgirl1339 lie, manipulate, back stab, sabotage, bla bla bla... a never ending circle of bullsh it. they live a very hard life, and want you to be a part of it.
Absolutely true! I have experienced all these phases when I went no contact for good. Narcs lose it when they lose control over you. When all their hoovering attempts fail, they will punish you for destroying their false image and fragile self esteem.
It's true. When I went total no contact with my former colleague/friend (after discovering she had sabotaged a huge business opportunity for me), she attempted to get in contact with me after learning I had blocked her on everything as well as changed my cell phone number. She, I heard through the grapevine, lost her mind with rage. She actually had the nerve to Google my widowed senior citizen disabled mother's phone number and left a series of unhinged voicemails. Naturally, she resorted to revisionist history, deflection, blame-shifting, projection, went full DARVO and never once admitted to what she had done or taken responsibility for her actions. When it was made clear that she wasn't going to be forgiven (no contact, remember) and that the door had been closed forever, she embarked on a smear campaign against me. Unfortunately, for her, her reputation preceded her and her behavior had burned a lot of bridges. She was left isolated and her career never recovered.
I was Estranged from my Evil,Vile, Mother for 29 years.When I heard that she was 'Dying' in a hospital from Cancer. She told my Brother: "No one is gonna visit me in the hospital because, I know I have been a Bad Mother!" I felt a Brief Swell of Pity for her. (I was Shocked that she even acknowledged that she was a Bad Mother!) but suddenly I Realized this was just a 'Ploy' a 'Manipulative Tactic' to Garner 'Sympathy' and Pity'. in the end it was always all about her! I never went back or saw her again! Even when she died and was in a coma! I never even went to her Funeral. I Remember the Egregious Hell and 'Degradation' she put me through! My Mother was a self Serving Evil, Manipulative, Sadist. Who always put her Needs 'first'.The only good thing was she acknowledged to my late brother that she was a 'Bad Mother' I needed to Hear that! You can't imagine! It was the only and 'Greatest Gift' she could have given to me!
I was narcissistically abused as a child and my 'depression' from the age of 5 onward to 27 was such a mystery to my parents. I knew nothing about what was being done to me socially and I had a huge blind spot for my parents liability in my life until it all made sense THIS year! I feel so much better not trying to pacify them and moved out of state. My childhood was ruined by them and I have to grieve the things and the relationship I never got to have like other families...
I'm no contact for 5 years now. Not a single one of my mother's relatives has bothered to reach out to me for any reason.. when she dies not a single person is going to say she was a good mother..
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
I wish I could sense he was a narcissist too and was cheating on me after destroying me completely. I came to know about his cheat n betrayal after he committed suicide bcz of his own karma and i lost all my life time savings with him😢
They do that, I escaped from my ex to a women's residence and he tried to get inside, thankfully there were a lot of people around who were watching, men are not permitted inside and the woman in charge was ready to call the cops. Eventually he gave up.
Post separation abuse is narcissistic supply, especially for those who are addicted to fighting and drama. That’s why they say they want to destroy someone. Arguing often and repeatedly is a weapon they use to wear you down. They won’t let go of annoying you until the replacement comes into the picture. If a narcissist doesn’t want to let you go because of attachment, then it would be another story with a need for great caution and safety.
My Narcissist ex husband did all of those things you mentioned. I divorced him and moved to the other side of the world. He then did something really bizarre - he worked really hard to make friends again with MY family and friends.......people he wasn't interested in before. He managed to capture some very close family members and friends of mine and I saw this as his way of exerting his power......."trophies" as it were. Also a way for him to maintain some control and access into my life and what I was doing. I chose to distance myself from those family members and friends..............This to me shows how deep their need for control goes.
Wow every detail of your situation is exactly like a friend of mine down to trying to access the close family members and friends smh it’s really sad and pathetic. Wishing you the best outcome in that controlling “manipulationship”.
@@divinity_is_me Thanks so much I hope your friend gets free and stays free also. I am totally free now but he's still trying even 20 years later..............they hate to lose. As I said those friends and family are no longer part of my life anymore. I had to be ruthless to get free.
I know they won't apologize. So what. You don't need anymore apologize anyway. Just call them out on bad behaviors when they behaviors, then tell them you don't even want an apology. You just need that bad behavior to stop! And walk away. They will be shocked but called out. It works perfect. You got this.
@@cc1k435 The trouble is when your husband keeps opening the door because he can not believe they are as bad as all that. Covert narcissistic women usually target other women and play up the victim to the men in their lives.
I have blocked him for 4 weeks. I don't know if he has tried to contact me. I'm sure he's shocked. It was because of all the lies. Gaslighting, triangulation weren't the reason it was lies.
The sociopath I knew could apologize brilliantly. He would go into detail about things I thought he hadn't even noticed. It stunned me - he knew everything he'd done wrong. BUT it was fake, all fake.
They can apologise and go into detail because they believe they did nothing wrong. The detail is to make you feel bad because everything is always your fault. So they have no emotional attachment to truth of apology. It's all for show.
I experienced the same thing. He would apologise in great detail. Also things i didnt think he noticed. To the point where I thought he's even telling me about my qualities. How I don't argue, that I over explain because I don't want to create doubt in his mind. I appreciate all you do and would list it to me. And I'm there thinking omg he gets it, he's taking accountability, and he knows why I go about things the way I do.....AND THEN a day or 2 later it's all me again...I'm sensitive, I'm emotional, I'm too this I'm too that. And everything is my fault. If I had stayed he would have drove me crazy. I was already crying every day. Finding it hard to focus at work and around my child. Run victims! And don't look back.
@@DomsHouse Somehow, listening to your stories, it feels like most of you are emotional wretchs and blaming your ex just to calm yourself. You are playing the victim card
Thank you for eye an opener, I was married to one for 24 yrs with 1 child. I left him for 8 months now. It was a relief. God be glorified in Jesus Name
wrong! i have 4 kids, 0 contact with the ex.. the only thing you, and it, have in common is who pics up, drops off kids, at what times, and that has already been determined in court. i did this for 15yrs, so dont say it cant be done.
Danish, you are so correct. I had this exact experience recently with a neighbor. The man had said some very inappropriate things to me in front of his wife. His insinuations were so bad, his wife started to be overtly rude to me for no reason. I thought they either have a sick relationship or he wants to hurt his wife. So I went no contact. Then, months later, he used a lame excuse to come to my door with a gift of flowers which I refused to accept and reminded him of the awful liying things he had said. He feigned amnesia, could not remember a thing even when confronted with exact circumstances etc. I could tell he was super angry by his clenched jaw. Then he told me although he had no memory he would apolgize anyway and we could go back to being friends! I told him to go home and that we would never be friends bcs I didnt allow BS like this in my life! He stormed off as I shut my door. I am relieved that we have no contact, but I heard he was telling others I was a psycho. No, but I have learned a lot from Danish Bashir! Thank you for all you have taught us. We are now/forever armed with that wonderful word "No," and identify red flags that preceed it. Forever grateful ❤️❤️❤️
You did right. Those creepy people are not dependable. If they can lie so horribly to smear you, and then try to gaslight you that they don't remember...... creepy amoral people. No empathy. They have introjects of people in their minds -- that never match reality. Scary.
That's what works with women, if you abuse them and give them drama they cling to it and give it all. If you give them real love and stability they will leave you for a abuser. I can see why women had arranged marridges because if given the freedom they will spawn a army of narc babies.
By the time he realizes we're gone, my dogs and I will be in another state and he'll be blocked from all communication. I don't care what happens to him.
@@TeresiaR I agree. :( I had to leave my enabler dad, because he would not stop my mother's abuse of me. He was old and frail, but... he was an adult. I am not responsible for his marriage to someone who is evil. I really feel for those people who have kids that they must co-parent with. It must be so hard to protect oneself, while trying to protect the kids too. The best thing to do is try hard to not have kids with a narcissist. :( But sometimes one doesn't realize what one has done until it's too late.
@@mvbigmagic4048 self love first. And pray for the good ending of your dad. We don't know what karma he's facing now. Let universe deal with the situation ✨
I'm going through a divorce from a narcissist.... These videos I have been researching on narcissistic mannerisms have helped the rebuilding of my mental health, and have been helping me realize I was not the problem as I thought, and I walk with my head high.
After 39 years from birth to finally leaving, my father controlled, directed, and channeled every goal of my life. Following his lead i believed and embraced his lifepath he designed for me (very much what you described)... the only way of escape was to walk away from everything i thought was valuable... my family... my career path, my income... my inheritance... my self worth, having realized that i had been drawn into an enslavement with the promises of a setup-readymade-career and success. It was all a lie... so ...upon leaving, i burned every bridge and never looked back. Best decision i ever made to find my own independence and...my...life's path.🎉. Its been a wonderful 30+ years. ❤
@@JMThrills prayer.... It was the Lords call for me to go. After 2 years away, that parent suddenly passed at 74. I reunited with my mother and helped her live her next 12 years, as she discovered her independence and freedom. I lived 200 miles away but my help was essential for her security, safety and happiness...I count it as a solemn privilege to have been able to help her. "Nothing is impossible with God."❤️
@@BroJerHWGOh Wow! So Thankful to God Who Made This Happen For you. I kid you not, ONLY GOD Could Have Made This Happen For you! I TOTALLY Relate!!! Do remain DIVINELY ROOTED through Christ Jesus, Amen. Shalom profound...
Same, not one actual remorseful Apology no matter how big he fkd up.. I couldn't wrap my head around how he has zero accountability in the relationship.. I got empty ones like "uhhhh sorry just stop talking about it", "sorry, enough?" "you want to win, here you go, sorry", "i said sorry, now forget it", "sorry, but I was kidding", "sorry, but you're being sensitive", "sorry, but you're being emotional and hormonal", "sorry but I'm not soft like you and I don't see why I have to be responsible for you getting hurt" "sorry if I am such a bad guy" "sorry if I keep hurting you maybe you should leave" "sorry please don't leave I can't handle that" "sorry if I'm so difficult" "sorry I guess idk how to treat you well" "sorry if you think I curse a lot but my friends don't mind bad words" "sorry I'm just short tempered " "sorry I can't comfort people because I don't like feeling emotional " "sorry but real men don't like being emotional" Never an actual apology or a follow up to fix things.
Danish - Why don’t they makes sense? They are controlling and manipulative using anger and annoyance to control and punish you, but at the same time, they abandon and completely neglect you. It’s a challenge to determine if you belong or they don’t want you anymore. Why the insidious games? They believe you should chase after them and feed their self importance but they do not and cannot show genuine concern for you. They are odd creatures.
I know. They never see what they do wrong because they only see what you do wrong. They seem to think they are completely innocent & done nothing wrong while they magnify & punish you for your wrong doings. They will punish you for their wrong doings & be your judge & jury toooo! 😮😮😮 oh yes they are so very special to Themself looking down their nose at you. My experience anyway ❤
They are contradictory indeed. The way I see it, they don't feel the urgency to chase or (pretend to) care about you when you are already under their control. But if they feel they are starting to lose you, they freak out but are incapable of reacting in a normal and healthy way. Long story short, they do have a sick mind, so don't even try to understand...
i just listened to number three again .. and it made me realize…. YES, it is truly over 😊. i am happy now for the first time in decades.. thank you Danish.. thank you 1,000 times
My ex partner is now going round telling anyone who is connected with how bad a person I am and that they should never accept to talk to me or do anything positive with me because I am a very bad person. It hurts because he really keeps tabs of everything that I do, but I also feel relieved that I no longer have to deal with him again. Thank you for the video
That’s similar to what my dad’s 2nd wife did to me. They threatened to disown me in 2015 if I didn’t apologize (in a satisfactory and pleasing way to her) over an accident. My dad said he was on her side 100%. So I wrote a 6 page letter, emailed it to them both and never spoke to them again. Now come to find out she died 2 weeks ago and they aren’t telling me for some reason. Order brother pretends like nothing is wrong, but it seems “seeds of hate” are either my dad and younger brother. It seems like they are trying to force reconciliation between me and my dad, but I’m done. I don’t see any value in someone that would cut off his own blood to keep his wife happy. In the end yes I’m basically alone with no family. But I’m happier and healthier now with them not in my life.
Yes! To break the cognitive dissonance spell! The generational curse! ❤Thank you for language! Thank you for validation! Thank you for being here to help us to help ourselves!
In the end it was the same thing that brought me closure. When the mask slipped and I finally saw him unhinged and heard recognized the deflection, the calling me crazy, the last attempts at getting me under control. The threat to block me. I GOT it. I had a nice cry and finally was able to let him go.
I am THRILLED that you were able to escape from your narcissisitc family! (I got the "family of narcs thing" from watching your other videos). I KNOW the PAIN, but now you became a total EXPERT and you are helping so many others like me. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! May true love be yours forever!
100% accurate. I was the daughter meant to be the incompetent duplicate of her mother. When I finally left, my narc mother, forbade me to ever see my father again whom I was very close to. So he was taking the ‘punishment’ that we used to share, all on his own.
5:39 I’ve noticed this too, where narcissists pretend to be the victim and act like they have no idea what they did wrong. But how I can always tell that they knew exactly what they did is the fact that they turn their toxic behavior on and off at will. And they tend to display their abusive behavior/adult tantrums/gaslighting in private or when they had me corned, with no very few or no whitenesses.
It’s a definitive they will NEVER change! Even AFTER they promise they will change. They keep repetitively doing the same thing over and over again to hurt you . Thank you Danish as you are always appreciated for so much you do for us with you thorough knowledge. They ALL have resonate with me in the past.
I found myself back , my spontainity is back , yesterday worked as volunteer with a group of people never met before and it was awesome , enjoyed it so much , it is so good to being me again and there,s no one to shut me down .
The Mini Narc collapses that I have witnessed were like watching a balloon slowly deflate. If you are still in contact with the Narc, then come the apologies and punishment. Be aware that, if you have been sucked in by the apologies and have let the Narc back into your life, the punishment can take months, even years, to manifest itself. And when it does, do not hang around; leave at the first sign of trouble. The apologies: Don't forget the predicable, dangerous, and totally insincere tag 'It will never happen again'. I say 'dangerous' because it *will* happen again, and the inner rage in the Narc is so fierce that once you are lured back into the web of deception and control there is an extremely real possibility that you will die. Check the statistics. The numbers are chilling. The punishment: The venom and vitriol that they spew can be debilitating. Unless you are able to recognise and know how to stand up to the hate and defend yourself, odds are you will be destroyed, mentally, emotionally, socially, and/or physically. Best way to protect yourself from the punishment is do not fall for the apologies - get yourself (and all children and/or pets) out whilst you can.
This group of people who we knew from growing up in the same area and being into drugs literally played along so they could all financially manipulate me and run me into the ground. I never did anything in my actions to hurt anyone else but myself but I did lose my temper and say mean things when I would get frustrated of always giving and never getting anything from him in return. He allowed other people to rip me off and abuse me and the final straw was finding out they were planning to lure me into the woods, shoot me and bury me out there. Only one guy who wasn't even someone I was close with was the only one who was decent enough to tell me and give me a much needed reality check and heads up. I really had a hard time coming to terms with this even being a possibility but people are much more evil than a lot of people realize. I'm really wondering if I'm going to need to leave the area to get on with my life. He's in prison and has them convinced I'm at fault when it's his fault for stealing people's identities and money from some random guy. Recently I found out he burnt my social security number as well. These people are from the pits of hell
Wow, that insight exteriorised my deep knowing inside. It feels validating. I've been no contact for over 25 years but had to move 128 miles away to get away from stalking-like behaviors my mother demonstrated in trying to infiltrate my newfound freedom. My mother was a destructive force. I didn't know how far she'd go. I did know how easily people were manipulated by her. My mother also joined the Samaritans in a bid to make herself appear like a good person after I left. I'm not the only one whose narcissistic parent/parents make grand gestures like this. I had a friend whose mother left her and her brother to a violent father and when her son committed suicide she became a novice Nun to avoid accountability and blame. It's a way of saying to the world I am a good person when, in reality, they are evil, deeply self-involved people. The child leaving them in one form or another is a situation of their own making. It's horrific though to be a victim of the flying monkeys who are blindly manipulated by them. That's why I moved. The damage and victim blaming is unsurmountable. The last thing in the world she ever was, was a good Samaritan.
Mine raged and called the police. He claimed I stole from him, but I only took my clothes and my tires. He demanded that I bring everything back (all my clothes??) Law enforcement was on my side. They knew him for what he was.
I'm in the middle of all of these at the same time. Bouncing between fake apologies, guilt trips, love bombing, and threats to attempt to make myself and his children homeless so he can cash out on the house he didn't pay a dime on. Thanks for the work you put into your videos, they really are helpful. There is so much more to us than they can imagine. I'm glad you broke free and had the courage to expose their predictable patterns and manipulative tactics. The crazy making in these relationships can make you second guess you're instincts and question your sanity. We forget our own value and spend years in service to someone that can't honestly love, only use.
I see all these reactions from the narc in my life that I left. This person is still in the stages of not giving up, going through the cycle you mentioned of shock, victim, smear campaign, panic attacks, then she starts over and over. I don’t respond a word to her texts, her attempts to reach out through mutual friends, or social media. Blocking them is a temporary fix. They just keep finding another way.
One person in the comment section said that Narcissists already have a replacement ready when your relationship ends. That might be true, but their goal is to use their replacement against you. They still have you in mind because you weren't supposed to escape. That makes them look bad before others…especially when people thought they were perfect. They have to punish you by choosing someone they feel is so much better than you to hurt you, but don't respond and don't look back. And since they are so consumed with thoughts of destroying you, they make the new victim's life miserable because they can feel the disconnect. If they're really out of control, they might start comparing the new person to you.
For me, the key pointer (at 4:20) is to ask the presumed narcissists for details or specifics, which they would not produce owing to the scripted tendency. Thank you!
I caused him to RUN AWAY, INTERSTATE, NOT GAME TO RETURN...I used his friends to bring them truth of him, as the thieving, he had done to them too.. we are now skilled in what to do..
I didn't find this help until now. I'm 63. It took a healthy dose of psilocybin to rebuild me. I had aunts that paid zero attention to me call to say they heard that I had stolen everything from my mother. Yes she heard about ALL of the terrible things I did. That was how I learned of the smear campaign. My situation was complicated by my mother's physical condition, and the fact that my father passed when I was 16, tied me in even tighter to try to care for her. I left twice and was roped back in because of that. I'm SO grateful for all of this good information in 2024 AND it is SUCH a relief to know that I am not really alone in this. ❤🍄
This is true. I had a narcissistic mother too. Looking back it was a terrible childhood that I had with verbal and physical abuse. When I went to the university it was as if I woke up from a bad dream, a haze. The moment she realised she was alone, she became a good person clinging on me. Later in life when she got old and blind she screamed that it was because of her that I became the person I am today including everything I had. I owed her she said. Although I gave my heart and soul for her wellbeing, she never had a good word for me. She said that she was more intelligent and more beautiful than me and that when I was born I was very ugly. When she cried, I was shocked over me that I didn't feel empathy for her. I remember the moment when I thought what had become of me and I was disturbed. But after all the years of being there for her both financially and emotionally, my emotions for her were gone. When she died she asked me for forgiveness. She was very artistic, schooled and charming and had her own world. She couldn't cope with the social environment and she had only me. I was her victim. My question is, do people become narcisists or are they born as such.
Absolutely true. Good for you for escaping. It must be so much harder for the narcissist to be your parents 🩷🙏🏼
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I think my mom was a narcissist. She passed away last year and she always felt like she was vulnerable, that she needed someone to take care of her, to be there with her, to support her financially. I gave her all of that. Now I'm 34 years old, still in my parents home, with very few social connections, WFH and I have a weird feeling of guilt when I think about going out or even moving to a new place. I feel stuck, frozen...
You are so kind, a true healer, a true hero for changing your family curse, and, helping yourself, and , helping others! I can’t thank you enough, friend 💕💕💕
As the son of a malignant narcissist, I have been ensnared' by narcissists more times than I care to mention. But I don't think it's helpful to feel foolish or ashamed, even though this is instinctive. I was preprogrammed for this and it can take so long to de-program. My mother died last year. It's like a spell has been broken and now I can see the whole sorry history of my life with narcissists for what it really was. Finally, I feel confident that I will never repeat this again. Thank you for this video, it is very helpful.
I love you Danish! I too am a male who was deeply enmeshed with a psychopathic mother. Only fully realized who she was in my early forties! She almost destroyed me emotionally, relationally, financially, and vocationally. My last encounter with her was terrifying; I actually saw evil in her eyes. Walked away two years ago - never going back, ever. With best wishes, love and prayers for you from USA!
The apology was exactly word for word what you said. Toss in fake tears. Which stopped as soon I asked what he was apologizing for. Told him it didn't matter, I am done.
All resonated with me. I have faced all of these avtars. I can't explain how I was drained psychologically. I have now ghosted the narcissist. Today I'm very scared of relationships.
Got it. In order to overcome the narc we must develop some slight narc behavior of our own.. Sort of like how standing up to a bully requires you to become a bit of a bully yourself in some ways
They’ll not only hurt you. They’ll destroy you completely if you don’t wake up in time to save your soul. 16 years over here. Didn’t took my soul because God said enough and gave me the strength to walk away before was too late for me. ❤Much love Bashir! I can imagine how it must be for you…! My heart goes out for all of us!!
4:31 This make so much sense! They apologize only to manipulate you. My mil does that very thing. She keeps meddling in my life and relationship, then apologizes and acts like she finally realizes she overstepped, then continues the cycle of doing it and apologizing for it, then doing it again and again. She also at other times makes herself out to be the victim and me out to be the problem, and claims not to know what she did wrong (even though she has brought up things she did wrong multiple times before and apologized for before). She has even accused me to the family behind my back of “hating her.” The thing is, I’m always very calm and non-reactive when she acts bossy to me/tells me off (for literally just living my best life), but I also don’t pretend to agree with her when I don’t, and I’ve never let her control me. I think that is why she has such an issue with me and is out to make me look like the mean one.
At some point, it just gets so old and you just cut them out. You acknowledge they will speak to your child, but just stay out of it. There is no reason to engage. It would not end up well, and at that point, your life has moved on way beyond them.
When I walked away, he sent me a text with soo much lies!… How he tried to uplift me and wanted to marry me 😂. Then tried to use guilt saying he hopes my mum is well, that his dad was falling fast… He wanted to guilt me to get me to reach out and ask what was wrong with his dad?…but I didn’t. I called his mother to see how his dad was and told them what he said. They said how he was being dramatic. 😂 He tried to get me to break no contact, but I refused. They do the most when they realize their slave is getting away lol
If the narcissist thinks anything of you, and you ignore them when they want to be seen, then this can trigger their inner wounds. Narcissists have very fragile cores and, whilst they are not looking for every human being to massage their ego, appreciate them, tell them how special they are, and sacrifice themselves to the narcissist, narcissists do expect a fair number of people to play this role. If you are one of those who the narcissist wants attention and adoration from, or any other form of supply, if you are a chosen one, then they will not be happy if your supply tap is running short. You have a role to play, supply them, and you should be grateful you are sacrificing yourself for such a good cause. And don't even think about resigning from this important role, they need you, and you don't matter, so just play the part. If you don't play the part, this will trigger in them feelings of frustration, jealousy, short-temper, anger, anxiety…, as well as things like low self worth, and potentially abandonment issues. When you are not playing the part, when you are signalling to the narcissist that there are more important things out there than giving your undivided attention to them, it stings. They hate being reminded that they are nothing more than ordinary… on the best of days. Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
I left covert narcissist in 2022 October thanks to your videos.Now I’m happily married and moved to another country.That narc did /doing every bad shitty things in this world to ruin my marriage and still do.My husband never even replied to his msgs and ignored him like he was nothing.Then the narc tried to provoke my husband saying that he is not a man etc..but still not getting any reply from my husband .I realised that the silent towards narc is best revenge.He still ruining another lady and she is stuck with him forever it seems😢because i got to know lately she was there with him long time before he interact with me.
I have left two narcissistic persons behind, that I know of. But really I can’t make my mind up if they were psychopaths or narcissists. Anyway, one of them started the smear campaign and played a sweet victim and the other one tried to get me in prison for crimes to horrible to mention. Yes, they really try to hurt you and there is no limits to their lies and evilness. I won in the end by being persistent. Don’t revenge in reality. Seek your happiness within you. You being strong and happy is the best revenge. They can never have what you have.
Seems pretty accurate. My ex hasn’t come back, and it’s been 8 months. When I broke up with him, I recall him saying how much he loves me, that he cant imagine living without me, even saying he might be depressed and that’s why he was acting up. When I put my foot down and said no, he gave me the predatory stare. He looked like some serial killer lol. I blocked him everywhere but I’m scared of running into him in person 😬
Man,man,man, you just described what happened to me before I finally left my X wife. All three points you discussed happened exactly in the sequence you described. This women still takes every opportunity to destroy me. Although she already had caused me to lose my job forced me out my home by convincing the landlord to remove me from the rental agreement. Had me arrested after pretending to wanting to talk and apologize face to face. And I fell for it. Now I am homeless and no work permit or residential permit. But in the end I am Happy with myself and life again although I have nothing, Happier as those Years with Her, I guess it's true that love 💕 Blinds You.
brother everything resonated with me...each thing happened step by step...hell even the words you said "you will regret this decision, yo will never find true love" all this she said to get me back..guilt tripped me ..when this didnt work..she started smear campaign, rage baiting and abusive messages
Basically, if you pierce their veneer of grandiosity, their shield, if you have your own personality with your own autonomy and agency (free will), this is seen as a profound betrayal to them. This may not make sense to you, but the reason is this: In their mind, you exist as an internal voice, an image, that should have a fixed version. You exist only as a messenger and validation of their own hallucinations, not as your own personality. And once you show your own personality or demonstrate this to them, it creates anxiety, abandonment anxiety in them. That's why they belittle and abandon you; fundamentally to avoid rejection and their own sense of abandonment.
I think I have shared about my mother becoming worse as I got older and tried to live my own life moving in with me and then asking me to get an apartment together with her. Both times she worked less and less and asked me to take over all of the payments for the one-bedroom apartment because she couldn't work anymore and I was making peanuts. My father had died and my sister was in a relationship. I was her favorite but now I was her primary supply and when I told her no I couldn't do what she was asking she started beating on my back. I was in shock. I have learned from you I think when you are there only supply they can get physical if they feel they are losing you. I secretly planned to move out over the next couple of weeks. She what's left with an apartment she didn't want to pay for and I was the bad guy. I had one friend who knew the Dynamics of my situation with her and was my source of support. Thank goodness.
If she couldn’t work anymore so you can help her she needs your help she’s not narcissistic 😢 if my mom needs me I well help her for everything she beating u cause she angry you’re the one who responsible for helping her but you not helping her so she feels alone very sad
@@kowsardagan you certainly don't know the whole story. You don't know what a narcissist is. She could work she just didn't want to. Be respectful of things you don't know this is a channel for people who know that they had a lifetime add narcissistic manipulations by their parent. And I said I was making peanuts there was no way I could afford to pay for everything. I've suffered a lot coming out of the entanglement of being brainwashed to be a caregiver to my mother instead of having a mother to raise me! Mind your manners. And you are excusing physical abuse! You really need healing.
@@castingcauldron6578 you’re right I really need healing cause I meet biggest narcissist husband in my life I know very well what means narcissist but just thought mother is different sometimes we need to be kindness to the older ones if it’s impossible and I apologize to you if I say to you wrong I don’t mean
@@castingcauldron6578 I experienced a similar situation with my mom who is now 90 years old. People who criticize your decisions clearly don't get it! Be blessed! 🙏💗🫂
You were soooo SPOT ON w/ all the quotes that Narcs use to make excuses. My most recent narc ex literally said almost the SAME exact thing about "hopefully trust can be regained" and would keep claiming he was working on himself and was gonna "get me back". He tried doing the silent treatment on me but I've been grey rocking the FUCK outta him for like the past month and now it's fired back on him cuz he's messed up so many times and showed his rage while I made sure to stay "sweet" and "calm" and "respectful" and "professional" and now he's stuck in a corner because he knows him reacting with abuse will just give me MORE reasons to give him for why I won't see him anymore! They HAVE to be silent @ that point b/c they know they are not equipped to NOT be abusive so they are quiet to pretend they have some semblance of reasonableness and stability. HA ! I'm just studying him @ this point and actually find it quite amusing watching things play out the typical way they do with these energy vampires! I act "aloof" to his drama baits and his emotional cycles. The narcissist got GOT! :D Good for you for standing up to your Narc Mother and thanks for sharing your experiences and educating others on what this looks like. Much Love
The best way to empower the narcissist to grow spiritually and change is to walk away from them. If the narcissist is truly interested in you, they would do WHATEVER it takes to change and grow spiritually and emotionally.
Don't be afraid to leave because of the kids, they are suffering too. They see what's happening and feel anxious and angry. I stayed because I kept hoping he would be a better dad. I listened to bad counseling too. My adult daughter who suffers from anxiety and ended up in a phycopath narcissist. He finally discarded her when he thought she was destroyed. Through therapy she identied that it goes back to her dad. She said I should have left a lot sooner.
I got away from my narc mom and got trapped again to my narc husband...now after years of thinking I was wrong and blaming myself.. got rid of both of them ...living by best life ever...❤ reborn...coz I dono who i am anymore....so now it's like i literally birthed myself and getting to know ti's new fun loving person...who was dead down inside
I was involved with a narcissist years ago. Every time I tried to leave she would make my life he'll. She called my family and told them all the things I had said about them during a time I had confided in her. Turned them against me. Then called my job telling them all kinds of lies about my character to try and defame me and get me fired. I stayed with her to keep the peace but I was miserable. One day I had received a phone call that she had been found dead. Bludgeoned to death. Her own child did it to her. I was sad but same time I was relieved. I was set free and begin the journey of rebuilding my life
@@irenehamilton2981 thank you. Saved by the grace of God only. It happened on a Friday evening which was always the day n time we would hang out together. Just so happened that I wasn't there that day. If I were...I could've been caught up in it too. The thing with narcissist is that there is no peaceful end to their lives. They do not age or die gracefully due to the fact that they are infested with demons as well as God delivering divine justice to them for all of the good people's lives they've seriously harmed and destroyed.
@@shirlspark_stardust yes. He was only 16 when he did it. They had alot of issues within their relationship. She used to go off on him with narcissistic rage fits like she did with me. One day it happened and he just snapped and ended her life in his own fit of rage
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Oh my God, I needed to hear this 😮
This is so vague.
From experience, it is best to walk away from a narcissist. They will only hurt you over and over and over and over and over again.
Do they fight you to stay or do they just let you walk away?
i just watched number three again 😎. and yes ….I DID WIN 👍🏼. and that feels so good . she beat me down for 40 years but ….. it’s over . i found my very first friend again and we are very happy.. some thing i never thought would ever happen again . again.. thank you Danish.. your helping so many 🙏🏼
Walk away, and be prepared to be stalked.
My ex (first husband) stalked me and my children (from my second marriage) for 23 years.
Whenever I moved, within a few months he and his new wife would move to within 5 minutes driving distance from my my new location
When my children started work at the neighbourhood Mall's food court, my ex and his new family would spend hours there drinking coffee and watching them. He would follow my daughter in his car and offer her rides home whenever he saw her walking from school without her brothers; the children soon learnt to travel in a pack. He tried to be chummy with my sons.
It got extremely creepy.
Do not hesitate to inform the police should the stalking Narc not back off when told to.
Losing*
Facts. It was so hard for me to leave for good. But I couldn’t take all the abuse anymore. I’m proud of myself for going no contact. 8 months so far!
Narcissists often have replacements lined up even before you leave; they maintain a 'waiting list' of potential new suppliers.
Mine had his parents find him someone to marry quite quickly after he broke up with me. I thought id be free from his harassment aftef hearing that he was married. But no, he still tries to get me to talk to him, tells me he misses me and still can't forget me. I have no emotions left for him. So I've learnt to just stonewall him. He hates it😂 i don't believe his crocodile tears at all. Told him i have no interest in married men. Plus he moved abroad for work so i feel like i can freely go about my life without fear of running into him anywhere
I know right!
@@artgirl1339thank God his no longer here 😂
Totally
Yes
100% true !
100% she ended up sleeping with everybody and anybody. Men and women. It's disgusting
Losing their 'trained victim ' is a nightmare for Narc
Yes it takes so much time and effort to destroy someone to obey. He even said that he doesn't want to go through all the training again😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂@@MarjaNieminen
😂😂😂😂😂😂oh my goodness
😂😂😂😂😂😂 so you mean i was their trained victim lol
You said it all in just a few words.
Thank you!
Don't listen to all the drama the narcissists tell you. They're good at giving guilt. Stay away as far as you can.
Everyone has cancer so you must stay ! Cancer is abusive.
agree 1000% percent.
They are victims 24/7
agreed
Trueeee
He ghosted me back in early January and I asked once by text what was going on, got ignored and then got busy. I mailed back all of his things and all gifts to him- so he had zero reason to show up and I had nothing to obsess over. I deleted all photos and conversations, I didn't trust myself even with his number on my blocked list so I deleted his number completely as I didn't want the temptation of being able to access his number at a weak point.
3 months later he text and I had done so much work and made so much progress that I said one thing
"I'm not your backup plan for when sh*t hits the fan with someone else"
Then I changed my number with my provider and that was that, today I am 251 days free of him and it takes work not to reminisce but videos like this help me stay strong 🙌
Good for you. I did the same thing. I placed all of my things in storage. I bought a ticket out of town. Then I deleted his phone number. Moved out of town and did not call him.
Good for you, no one who loves another, would ever do anything to cross their boundaries and/or attack that persons dignity. Stay strong.
How tf r y’all so strong God damn
The women are the narcissistic ones@palmtrees2420
@@Katie_Woo GOOD FOR YOU//STAY STRONG YOU WILL MAKE IT
🫶🏿✌🏿🌹LEARN WELL FROM THE LESSONS LEARNED
FOR ME 18 YRS OF NARC CRAZINESS AND 5 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN/11 GRANDCHILDREN
IM STILL STANDING🔥🙌🏿
Walk away...with a plan..NEVER look back or go back
That's easier said than done .
Bye FELICIA 👋
They need you, you don't need them always remember that, never trust them, you hurd🇨🇦💪🏻
yup she's got three kids from other guys I'm younger and don't have any but she still trys to control me even tho she knows I won't cheat makes everything look like my fault
i snapped on mine
@@SirquincyWashington go no contact let them roam the streets from wents they came
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me
me twice married to same narcissist
No problem we can help you to overcome
I am sorry. Must have been bad@@reettaelina
If you are able to love genuine,and you are also dumb, you can be fooled even 10 times😢
@@theresaelizabethelijah117 of cmon most women never learn, to them abuse is love and they cling to it with all they have.
They are completely addicted to drama and abuse and can no longer function without it.
When they show you just how hideous the monster behind the mask is, it just confirms your victory over them.
Exactly and once you figure them out they know they can never go back and that makes them angry and they will try to destroy you even more. They will not hold back once they are exposed.
I’m more the non traditional way of how most would deal with narcissistic rage. They like to slam cup boards. Their head was right by a cupboard one day and I let it smack right there beside them. SMACk!! Not a word said. They let out an exhausted sigh.
facts
@@bayjay864 facts way better to ignore them
When you finally meet the real person behind the mask, it confirms everything. It is how you should always remember them so you can heal from the trauma.
Do you know what hurts most when you realise that the enemy is not outsider but your closed one😢
no way really>? thjats crazy bro. they probalby thought that was genius. use your dyslexia for onnce .negativ e positive. hjih
hit em with reverse segregation . u did it to yourself lol . nice mechanics lo l
They treat you like your the enemy
That's exactly what hurts me the most. I trusted someone, not something I do often, and they were only out to hurt me.
Most narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored; the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder because of their need to feel validated. As the narcissist understands that you are intentionally ignoring them will deflate their inflated ego. Their self-esteem is connected by how much attention they can get from you or others.
A person with high levels of narcissism can get more aggressive when being ignored. When they think you are ignoring them, some won’t be able to control their temper, so they may lash out or change their approach by being aggressive with their calls or text messages demanding to talk or communicate with you. They will never be ready to discuss or be accountable for what they did or said to you. They will just expect you to accept what they want or need while they will be very hypocritical by ignoring their actions. Yes, they will be mad or upset at you for ignoring them, but when or once you call them out on their behavior, they will get mad at you, and in return ignore you.
Even if you ignore a narcissist for whatever reason that may be, they will eventually get bored and seek attention from someone else. The narcissist may replace you with someone else who won’t ignore them and give them the attention, and control that they seek. This is why ignoring a narcissist should be more about you, and less about them. This is how they operate, and how they satisfy their narcissistic supply. Solution: Ignoring them is one of the easiest ways to redeem your control, regain your sense of clarity, and restore your power by focusing your attention on yourself. As far as what happens to a narcissist when you ignore them is really irrelevant. May you know the signs. May you not become a victim. And may you be more concern about your healing, recovery, and emotional-mental health.
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: Barryinvestigation@gmail. com.
They're so manipulative. If one thing doesn't work they quickly move to the next. Its like watching someone running around on a merry go round. If they can they'll try to get you on that ride as well. Its so gross. They never have any answers for anything. No accountability. They answer questions with more questions and always try to put the blame on someone else. Anyone else. But once you see them with the mask off you realise how disgusting they really are. And they scramble to put it back on but we know who they really are at that point. The mask will never work on me again. He hates that he can't manipulate or gaslight me anymore
i call it hamster wheel mentality. spinning spinning spinning, going nowhere. ive seen the mask fall 2x, very nasty.
@@lilfairycupcakeI call it that too. Mine repeated the same patterns with ex girlfriends and eventually me. He renovated the houses to be the same, bought the same furniture, etc. Beyond it being dangerous and hurtful to the victims, it really is pathetic. Hollow people with no joy.
@@FuneraryGirl thats creepy as fu ck, to go so far as renovat, same furniture, ect., and i can totally believe it. they are the living dead.
@@lilfairycupcake it's maddening really. I was thoroughly losing my mind with it. Its like their motto in life is to beat around the bush for eternity
@@artgirl1339 lie, manipulate, back stab, sabotage, bla bla bla... a never ending circle of bullsh it. they live a very hard life, and want you to be a part of it.
Absolutely true! I have experienced all these phases when I went no contact for good. Narcs lose it when they lose control over you. When all their hoovering attempts fail, they will punish you for destroying their false image and fragile self esteem.
It's true. When I went total no contact with my former colleague/friend (after discovering she had sabotaged a huge business opportunity for me), she attempted to get in contact with me after learning I had blocked her on everything as well as changed my cell phone number. She, I heard through the grapevine, lost her mind with rage. She actually had the nerve to Google my widowed senior citizen disabled mother's phone number and left a series of unhinged voicemails. Naturally, she resorted to revisionist history, deflection, blame-shifting, projection, went full DARVO and never once admitted to what she had done or taken responsibility for her actions. When it was made clear that she wasn't going to be forgiven (no contact, remember) and that the door had been closed forever, she embarked on a smear campaign against me. Unfortunately, for her, her reputation preceded her and her behavior had burned a lot of bridges. She was left isolated and her career never recovered.
They want you DEAD...
I was Estranged from my Evil,Vile, Mother for 29 years.When I heard that she was 'Dying' in a hospital from Cancer. She told my Brother: "No one is gonna visit me in the hospital because, I know I have been a Bad Mother!" I felt a Brief Swell of Pity for her. (I was Shocked that she even acknowledged that she was a Bad Mother!) but suddenly I Realized this was just a 'Ploy' a 'Manipulative Tactic' to Garner 'Sympathy' and Pity'. in the end it was always all about her! I never went back or saw her again! Even when she died and was in a coma! I never even went to her Funeral. I Remember the Egregious Hell and 'Degradation' she put me through! My Mother was a self Serving Evil, Manipulative, Sadist. Who always put her Needs 'first'.The only good thing was she acknowledged to my late brother that she was a 'Bad Mother' I needed to Hear that! You can't imagine! It was the only and 'Greatest Gift' she could have given to me!
I was narcissistically abused as a child and my 'depression' from the age of 5 onward to 27 was such a mystery to my parents. I knew nothing about what was being done to me socially and I had a huge blind spot for my parents liability in my life until it all made sense THIS year!
I feel so much better not trying to pacify them and moved out of state. My childhood was ruined by them and I have to grieve the things and the relationship I never got to have like other families...
G0 you!! I did thi as well
I'm no contact for 5 years now. Not a single one of my mother's relatives has bothered to reach out to me for any reason.. when she dies not a single person is going to say she was a good mother..
@@thecrapartistxno contact going on a month now and this time am not looking back as I’ve done in the last couple past. Now onto mothering myself. 😢
@@machumak4915 DO THAT
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
I wish I could sense he was a narcissist too and was cheating on me after destroying me completely. I came to know about his cheat n betrayal after he committed suicide bcz of his own karma and i lost all my life time savings with him😢
K
@@Equanimous-6 😢😢😢
Same script, different cast!!! Wow! Almost scary.
@Equanimous-6 I lived something similar. Mine just wanted to remain in control and go out how he wanted ! Wipe himself clean. He was a coward .
Post-separation-abuse, stalking, psychopathic behaviour, since the Narc we talk about is typically a psychopathic narcissistic person.
They do that, I escaped from my ex to a women's residence and he tried to get inside, thankfully there were a lot of people around who were watching, men are not permitted inside and the woman in charge was ready to call the cops. Eventually he gave up.
my Narc is really not in control of his eating- rages~ or interactions!
The stalking is so freaky.
@@ashton1952 what if the narc is female? theres nothing to seek help for that.
Post separation abuse is narcissistic supply, especially for those who are addicted to fighting and drama. That’s why they say they want to destroy someone. Arguing often and repeatedly is a weapon they use to wear you down. They won’t let go of annoying you until the replacement comes into the picture. If a narcissist doesn’t want to let you go because of attachment, then it would be another story with a need for great caution and safety.
My Narcissist ex husband did all of those things you mentioned. I divorced him and moved to the other side of the world. He then did something really bizarre - he worked really hard to make friends again with MY family and friends.......people he wasn't interested in before. He managed to capture some very close family members and friends of mine and I saw this as his way of exerting his power......."trophies" as it were. Also a way for him to maintain some control and access into my life and what I was doing. I chose to distance myself from those family members and friends..............This to me shows how deep their need for control goes.
That's so messed up
Wow every detail of your situation is exactly like a friend of mine down to trying to access the close family members and friends smh it’s really sad and pathetic. Wishing you the best outcome in that controlling “manipulationship”.
@@divinity_is_me Thanks so much I hope your friend gets free and stays free also. I am totally free now but he's still trying even 20 years later..............they hate to lose. As I said those friends and family are no longer part of my life anymore. I had to be ruthless to get free.
I am sorry for whatever you perceive I did to you.
That is no apology at all. That is the only apology I got from the covert one I know.
I know they won't apologize. So what. You don't need anymore apologize anyway. Just call them out on bad behaviors when they behaviors, then tell them you don't even want an apology. You just need that bad behavior to stop! And walk away. They will be shocked but called out. It works perfect. You got this.
and why should you care? it would be just one more lie to add to the list.
Just walk away and keep the door closed behind you. There's nothing but aggravation on the other side of it.
"I'm sorry for everything I've done to you." But they'll never be specific about any particular action.
@@cc1k435 The trouble is when your husband keeps opening the door because he can not believe they are as bad as all that. Covert narcissistic women usually target other women and play up the victim to the men in their lives.
I left the narcissist and went no contact
Me too left mine 2 weeks ago now blocked him. It will pay off in the long run😊
@@MelanieWard-ni1em 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Me too 14 months ago. Hardest thing. So proud of myself ✊🏾
@@Tend-er-Rose yes proud of us 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I have blocked him for 4 weeks. I don't know if he has tried to contact me. I'm sure he's shocked. It was because of all the lies. Gaslighting, triangulation weren't the reason it was lies.
The sociopath I knew could apologize brilliantly. He would go into detail about things I thought he hadn't even noticed. It stunned me - he knew everything he'd done wrong. BUT it was fake, all fake.
They can apologise and go into detail because they believe they did nothing wrong. The detail is to make you feel bad because everything is always your fault. So they have no emotional attachment to truth of apology. It's all for show.
Both of these comments are golden nuggets of what to look for.
I experienced the same thing. He would apologise in great detail. Also things i didnt think he noticed. To the point where I thought he's even telling me about my qualities. How I don't argue, that I over explain because I don't want to create doubt in his mind. I appreciate all you do and would list it to me.
And I'm there thinking omg he gets it, he's taking accountability, and he knows why I go about things the way I do.....AND THEN a day or 2 later it's all me again...I'm sensitive, I'm emotional, I'm too this I'm too that. And everything is my fault. If I had stayed he would have drove me crazy. I was already crying every day. Finding it hard to focus at work and around my child. Run victims! And don't look back.
@@DomsHouse
Somehow, listening to your stories, it feels like most of you are emotional wretchs and blaming your ex just to calm yourself.
You are playing the victim card
@@trira1171 go read a good book 🤦🏾♀️
Thank you for eye an opener, I was married to one for 24 yrs with 1 child. I left him for 8 months now. It was a relief. God be glorified in Jesus Name
Scariest part of this for them is when they run out of Supply- age does that- they can’t get anything to work again 😢
and they take up drugs or alcohol to replace you.
It’s a different story when the narcissist is your ex and the only connection is your child-there’s no apology but continued abuse through them. 💔
when the narc. wants you to be dead, than is staying no possibility, then you must run as fast as you can
wrong! i have 4 kids, 0 contact with the ex.. the only thing you, and it, have in common is who pics up, drops off kids, at what times, and that has already been determined in court. i did this for 15yrs, so dont say it cant be done.
@@lilfairycupcakegood for you, that does Not make anybody with a different experience "wrong"..👀
@@gigiarmany agree, it does not make them wrong, but i despise hearing that it cant be done. i just think its a bad excuse.
If you can make a video if we still need or not to communicate with ex-narc partner with a child? Please
Danish, you are so correct. I had this exact experience recently with a neighbor. The man had said some very inappropriate things to me in front of his wife. His insinuations were so bad, his wife started to be overtly rude to me for no reason. I thought they either have a sick relationship or he wants to hurt his wife. So I went no contact. Then, months later, he used a lame excuse to come to my door with a gift of flowers which I refused to accept and reminded him of the awful liying things he had said. He feigned amnesia, could not remember a thing even when confronted with exact circumstances etc. I could tell he was super angry by his clenched jaw. Then he told me although he had no memory he would apolgize anyway and we could go back to being friends! I told him to go home and that we would never be friends bcs I didnt allow BS like this in my life! He stormed off as I shut my door. I am relieved that we have no contact, but I heard he was telling others I was a psycho. No, but I have learned a lot from Danish Bashir! Thank you for all you have taught us. We are now/forever armed with that wonderful word "No," and identify red flags that preceed it. Forever grateful ❤️❤️❤️
You did right. Those creepy people are not dependable. If they can lie so horribly to smear you, and then try to gaslight you that they don't remember...... creepy amoral people. No empathy. They have introjects of people in their minds -- that never match reality. Scary.
Spot on 💯
My husband is gaslighting me.
Lovebomb today and tomorrow it will be different
Same
That's what works with women, if you abuse them and give them drama they cling to it and give it all. If you give them real love and stability they will leave you for a abuser.
I can see why women had arranged marridges because if given the freedom they will spawn a army of narc babies.
By the time he realizes we're gone, my dogs and I will be in another state and he'll be blocked from all communication. I don't care what happens to him.
They will only lie and hurt you, run and never ever look back, truly evil people,🇨🇦💪🏻
OMG!! What I'm dealing with right now...when I was accused of stealing and she (mother) said she had proof, I said the exact thing - bring it!
never fight. leave.
Thank you Sir for being here with us. There is no sin to leave narcissist parents, partners, families, friends,relatives and so on.
The problem is when you must leave others behind that you love, that the narc controls as well, but they won’t or can’t leave. 😢
@@TeresiaR I agree. :( I had to leave my enabler dad, because he would not stop my mother's abuse of me. He was old and frail, but... he was an adult. I am not responsible for his marriage to someone who is evil. I really feel for those people who have kids that they must co-parent with. It must be so hard to protect oneself, while trying to protect the kids too. The best thing to do is try hard to not have kids with a narcissist. :( But sometimes one doesn't realize what one has done until it's too late.
@@mvbigmagic4048 I am so sorry that you went through the same thing as well 😢! Peace and strength to you!
@@TeresiaR pray for the good. And let universe deal with your situation ✨
@@mvbigmagic4048 self love first. And pray for the good ending of your dad. We don't know what karma he's facing now. Let universe deal with the situation ✨
I'm going through a divorce from a narcissist.... These videos I have been researching on narcissistic mannerisms have helped the rebuilding of my mental health, and have been helping me realize I was not the problem as I thought, and I walk with my head high.
That's me now I'm 100 percent responsible. Don't dare respond. I'm in Hell.
After 39 years from birth to finally leaving, my father controlled, directed, and channeled every goal of my life. Following his lead i believed and embraced his lifepath he designed for me (very much what you described)... the only way of escape was to walk away from everything i thought was valuable... my family... my career path, my income... my inheritance... my self worth, having realized that i had been drawn into an enslavement with the promises of a setup-readymade-career and success. It was all a lie... so ...upon leaving, i burned every bridge and never looked back. Best decision i ever made to find my own independence and...my...life's path.🎉. Its been a wonderful 30+ years. ❤
it must have been tough to leave a parent because you may feel for them plus there is going to be social pressure. How did you handle it?
@@JMThrills prayer.... It was the Lords call for me to go. After 2 years away, that parent suddenly passed at 74. I reunited with my mother and helped her live her next 12 years, as she discovered her independence and freedom. I lived 200 miles away but my help was essential for her security, safety and happiness...I count it as a solemn privilege to have been able to help her. "Nothing is impossible with God."❤️
@@BroJerHWGOh Wow!
So Thankful to God Who Made This Happen For you.
I kid you not, ONLY GOD Could Have Made This Happen For you!
I TOTALLY Relate!!!
Do remain DIVINELY ROOTED through Christ Jesus, Amen.
Shalom profound...
My narcissist must be an ultra elite. Never apologised for anything 😢
Same here. We share a child together
Same here too😂
Same, not one actual remorseful Apology no matter how big he fkd up.. I couldn't wrap my head around how he has zero accountability in the relationship.. I got empty ones like "uhhhh sorry just stop talking about it", "sorry, enough?" "you want to win, here you go, sorry", "i said sorry, now forget it", "sorry, but I was kidding", "sorry, but you're being sensitive", "sorry, but you're being emotional and hormonal", "sorry but I'm not soft like you and I don't see why I have to be responsible for you getting hurt" "sorry if I am such a bad guy" "sorry if I keep hurting you maybe you should leave" "sorry please don't leave I can't handle that" "sorry if I'm so difficult" "sorry I guess idk how to treat you well" "sorry if you think I curse a lot but my friends don't mind bad words" "sorry I'm just short tempered " "sorry I can't comfort people because I don't like feeling emotional " "sorry but real men don't like being emotional"
Never an actual apology or a follow up to fix things.
They only apologise if you call them out and argue, be willing to fight.
It's the only way this will happen.
@@IYouLikeCheeseI I did all that, made him more abusive.. :(
Danish - Why don’t they makes sense?
They are controlling and manipulative using anger and annoyance to control and punish you, but at the same time, they abandon and completely neglect you. It’s a challenge to determine if you belong or they don’t want you anymore. Why the insidious games?
They believe you should chase after them and feed their self importance but they do not and cannot show genuine concern for you. They are odd creatures.
Demons?
@@Donnahodginsyes 😈 of lying,and violence,and manipulation ❤
Very true..am confused too
I know. They never see what they do wrong because they only see what you do wrong. They seem to think they are completely innocent & done nothing wrong while they magnify & punish you for your wrong doings. They will punish you for their wrong doings & be your judge & jury toooo! 😮😮😮 oh yes they are so very special to Themself looking down their nose at you. My experience anyway ❤
They are contradictory indeed. The way I see it, they don't feel the urgency to chase or (pretend to) care about you when you are already under their control. But if they feel they are starting to lose you, they freak out but are incapable of reacting in a normal and healthy way.
Long story short, they do have a sick mind, so don't even try to understand...
i just listened to number three again .. and it made me realize…. YES, it is truly over 😊. i am happy now for the first time in decades.. thank you Danish.. thank you 1,000 times
17yrs of this wickedness. God have mercy
Nothing to be proud of, if you enable abusers you get abused it's that simple.
Women emotional thinking is what makes them slaves to narcs.
17 for me to!such a long time wasted.Keep ur head up
My ex partner is now going round telling anyone who is connected with how bad a person I am and that they should never accept to talk to me or do anything positive with me because I am a very bad person. It hurts because he really keeps tabs of everything that I do, but I also feel relieved that I no longer have to deal with him again. Thank you for the video
That’s similar to what my dad’s 2nd wife did to me. They threatened to disown me in 2015 if I didn’t apologize (in a satisfactory and pleasing way to her) over an accident. My dad said he was on her side 100%. So I wrote a 6 page letter, emailed it to them both and never spoke to them again.
Now come to find out she died 2 weeks ago and they aren’t telling me for some reason. Order brother pretends like nothing is wrong, but it seems “seeds of hate” are either my dad and younger brother.
It seems like they are trying to force reconciliation between me and my dad, but I’m done. I don’t see any value in someone that would cut off his own blood to keep his wife happy.
In the end yes I’m basically alone with no family. But I’m happier and healthier now with them not in my life.
I'm having a really hard time with people who don't even know me already hating me bc of what he was telling them
Yes! To break the cognitive dissonance spell! The generational curse! ❤Thank you for language! Thank you for validation! Thank you for being here to help us to help ourselves!
It was hard at first and I have no regrets about it. It's about having firm boundaries from the beginning. Thanks Danish for the video 📹. 💜
In the end it was the same thing that brought me closure. When the mask slipped and I finally saw him unhinged and heard recognized the deflection, the calling me crazy, the last attempts at getting me under control. The threat to block me. I GOT it. I had a nice cry and finally was able to let him go.
They drag out a divorce to punish you! They are the victim not the children it’s really creepy. Great topic
I am THRILLED that you were able to escape from your narcissisitc family! (I got the "family of narcs thing" from watching your other videos). I KNOW the PAIN, but now you became a total EXPERT and you are helping so many others like me. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! May true love be yours forever!
As I have heard before- and experienced- years of restoration can be ruined by one conversation with the narcissist- Guard yourself.❤
100% accurate. I was the daughter meant to be the incompetent duplicate of her mother. When I finally left, my narc mother, forbade me to ever see my father again whom I was very close to. So he was taking the ‘punishment’ that we used to share, all on his own.
5:39 I’ve noticed this too, where narcissists pretend to be the victim and act like they have no idea what they did wrong. But how I can always tell that they knew exactly what they did is the fact that they turn their toxic behavior on and off at will. And they tend to display their abusive behavior/adult tantrums/gaslighting in private or when they had me corned, with no very few or no whitenesses.
It’s a definitive they will NEVER change! Even AFTER they promise they will change. They keep repetitively doing the same thing over and over again to hurt you . Thank you Danish as you are always appreciated for so much you do for us with you thorough knowledge. They ALL have resonate with me in the past.
I found myself back , my spontainity is back , yesterday worked as volunteer with a group of people never met before and it was awesome , enjoyed it so much , it is so good to being me again and there,s no one to shut me down .
The Mini Narc collapses that I have witnessed were like watching a balloon slowly deflate.
If you are still in contact with the Narc, then come the apologies and punishment. Be aware that, if you have been sucked in by the apologies and have let the Narc back into your life, the punishment can take months, even years, to manifest itself. And when it does, do not hang around; leave at the first sign of trouble.
The apologies: Don't forget the predicable, dangerous, and totally insincere tag 'It will never happen again'.
I say 'dangerous' because it *will* happen again, and the inner rage in the Narc is so fierce that once you are lured back into the web of deception and control there is an extremely real possibility that you will die.
Check the statistics. The numbers are chilling.
The punishment: The venom and vitriol that they spew can be debilitating. Unless you are able to recognise and know how to stand up to the hate and defend yourself, odds are you will be destroyed, mentally, emotionally, socially, and/or physically.
Best way to protect yourself from the punishment is do not fall for the apologies - get yourself (and all children and/or pets) out whilst you can.
this couldn't be more accurate. he killed my bird. kept my dogs. locked me out and changed locks. my animals were moved to his workplace.
Yep this has already happened to me. It's become so hard to exist
This group of people who we knew from growing up in the same area and being into drugs literally played along so they could all financially manipulate me and run me into the ground. I never did anything in my actions to hurt anyone else but myself but I did lose my temper and say mean things when I would get frustrated of always giving and never getting anything from him in return. He allowed other people to rip me off and abuse me and the final straw was finding out they were planning to lure me into the woods, shoot me and bury me out there. Only one guy who wasn't even someone I was close with was the only one who was decent enough to tell me and give me a much needed reality check and heads up. I really had a hard time coming to terms with this even being a possibility but people are much more evil than a lot of people realize. I'm really wondering if I'm going to need to leave the area to get on with my life. He's in prison and has them convinced I'm at fault when it's his fault for stealing people's identities and money from some random guy. Recently I found out he burnt my social security number as well. These people are from the pits of hell
Wow, that insight exteriorised my deep knowing inside. It feels validating. I've been no contact for over 25 years but had to move 128 miles away to get away from stalking-like behaviors my mother demonstrated in trying to infiltrate my newfound freedom. My mother was a destructive force. I didn't know how far she'd go. I did know how easily people were manipulated by her. My mother also joined the Samaritans in a bid to make herself appear like a good person after I left. I'm not the only one whose narcissistic parent/parents make grand gestures like this. I had a friend whose mother left her and her brother to a violent father and when her son committed suicide she became a novice Nun to avoid accountability and blame. It's a way of saying to the world I am a good person when, in reality, they are evil, deeply self-involved people. The child leaving them in one form or another is a situation of their own making. It's horrific though to be a victim of the flying monkeys who are blindly manipulated by them. That's why I moved. The damage and victim blaming is unsurmountable. The last thing in the world she ever was, was a good Samaritan.
Mine raged and called the police. He claimed I stole from him, but I only took my clothes and my tires. He demanded that I bring everything back (all my clothes??) Law enforcement was on my side. They knew him for what he was.
Thank you for opening my eyes to what I suffered in my marriage and still suffering and I left. I have peace now
I'm in the middle of all of these at the same time. Bouncing between fake apologies, guilt trips, love bombing, and threats to attempt to make myself and his children homeless so he can cash out on the house he didn't pay a dime on. Thanks for the work you put into your videos, they really are helpful. There is so much more to us than they can imagine. I'm glad you broke free and had the courage to expose their predictable patterns and manipulative tactics. The crazy making in these relationships can make you second guess you're instincts and question your sanity. We forget our own value and spend years in service to someone that can't honestly love, only use.
I see all these reactions from the narc in my life that I left. This person is still in the stages of not giving up, going through the cycle you mentioned of shock, victim, smear campaign, panic attacks, then she starts over and over. I don’t respond a word to her texts, her attempts to reach out through mutual friends, or social media. Blocking them is a temporary fix. They just keep finding another way.
One person in the comment section said that Narcissists already have a replacement ready when your relationship ends. That might be true, but their goal is to use their replacement against you. They still have you in mind because you weren't supposed to escape. That makes them look bad before others…especially when people thought they were perfect. They have to punish you by choosing someone they feel is so much better than you to hurt you, but don't respond and don't look back. And since they are so consumed with thoughts of destroying you, they make the new victim's life miserable because they can feel the disconnect. If they're really out of control, they might start comparing the new person to you.
For me, the key pointer (at 4:20) is to ask the presumed narcissists for details or specifics, which they would not produce owing to the scripted tendency. Thank you!
I caused him to RUN AWAY, INTERSTATE, NOT GAME TO RETURN...I used his friends to bring them truth of him, as the thieving, he had done to them too.. we are now skilled in what to do..
I didn't find this help until now. I'm 63. It took a healthy dose of psilocybin to rebuild me. I had aunts that paid zero attention to me call to say they heard that I had stolen everything from my mother. Yes she heard about ALL of the terrible things I did. That was how I learned of the smear campaign. My situation was complicated by my mother's physical condition, and the fact that my father passed when I was 16, tied me in even tighter to try to care for her. I left twice and was roped back in because of that. I'm SO grateful for all of this good information in 2024 AND it is SUCH a relief to know that I am not really alone in this. ❤🍄
This is true. I had a narcissistic mother too. Looking back it was a terrible childhood that I had with verbal and physical abuse. When I went to the university it was as if I woke up from a bad dream, a haze. The moment she realised she was alone, she became a good person clinging on me. Later in life when she got old and blind she screamed that it was because of her that I became the person I am today including everything I had. I owed her she said. Although I gave my heart and soul for her wellbeing, she never had a good word for me. She said that she was more intelligent and more beautiful than me and that when I was born I was very ugly. When she cried, I was shocked over me that I didn't feel empathy for her. I remember the moment when I thought what had become of me and I was disturbed. But after all the years of being there for her both financially and emotionally, my emotions for her were gone. When she died she asked me for forgiveness. She was very artistic, schooled and charming and had her own world. She couldn't cope with the social environment and she had only me. I was her victim. My question is, do people become narcisists or are they born as such.
No one on earth knows a narcissist inside out as you. A big thanks & salute
Absolutely true. Good for you for escaping. It must be so much harder for the narcissist to be your parents 🩷🙏🏼
I think my mom was a narcissist. She passed away last year and she always felt like she was vulnerable, that she needed someone to take care of her, to be there with her, to support her financially. I gave her all of that. Now I'm 34 years old, still in my parents home, with very few social connections, WFH and I have a weird feeling of guilt when I think about going out or even moving to a new place. I feel stuck, frozen...
He's speaking from experience and experience is the best teacher.
Narcissists stonewall and use the silent treatment.
You are so kind, a true healer, a true hero for changing your family curse, and, helping yourself, and , helping others! I can’t thank you enough, friend 💕💕💕
As the son of a malignant narcissist, I have been ensnared' by narcissists more times than I care to mention. But I don't think it's helpful to feel foolish or ashamed, even though this is instinctive. I was preprogrammed for this and it can take so long to de-program. My mother died last year. It's like a spell has been broken and now I can see the whole sorry history of my life with narcissists for what it really was. Finally, I feel confident that I will never repeat this again. Thank you for this video, it is very helpful.
Oh Wow!
What a Story!
I TOTALLY Relate!!
Do kindly seek Divine Help for New Beginnings.
Only God Can Do This For you.
Shalom profound...
I love you Danish! I too am a male who was deeply enmeshed with a psychopathic mother. Only fully realized who she was in my early forties! She almost destroyed me emotionally, relationally, financially, and vocationally. My last encounter with her was terrifying; I actually saw evil in her eyes. Walked away two years ago - never going back, ever. With best wishes, love and prayers for you from USA!
I treated them like they never existed. It wouldn't move me no matter what they do or don't. Good riddance
Literally, a life altering experience that changes SO much for MANY! Good vs Evil per say.. 🙌
Im living it but im bout to free myself in silence..... I'M TIRED...10 yrs of it...God Got Me
The apology was exactly word for word what you said. Toss in fake tears. Which stopped as soon I asked what he was apologizing for. Told him it didn't matter, I am done.
The rage bit. I have seen it up close and personal. It helped me get over the narcissist.
All resonated with me. I have faced all of these avtars. I can't explain how I was drained psychologically. I have now ghosted the narcissist. Today I'm very scared of relationships.
You need more videos about leaving a narcissist with young kids involved.
YOU do I think
Got it. In order to overcome the narc we must develop some slight narc behavior of our own.. Sort of like how standing up to a bully requires you to become a bit of a bully yourself in some ways
They’ll not only hurt you. They’ll destroy you completely if you don’t wake up in time to save your soul. 16 years over here. Didn’t took my soul because God said enough and gave me the strength to walk away before was too late for me. ❤Much love Bashir! I can imagine how it must be for you…! My heart goes out for all of us!!
You are so spot on that it shocks me😳
4:31 This make so much sense! They apologize only to manipulate you. My mil does that very thing. She keeps meddling in my life and relationship, then apologizes and acts like she finally realizes she overstepped, then continues the cycle of doing it and apologizing for it, then doing it again and again. She also at other times makes herself out to be the victim and me out to be the problem, and claims not to know what she did wrong (even though she has brought up things she did wrong multiple times before and apologized for before). She has even accused me to the family behind my back of “hating her.” The thing is, I’m always very calm and non-reactive when she acts bossy to me/tells me off (for literally just living my best life), but I also don’t pretend to agree with her when I don’t, and I’ve never let her control me. I think that is why she has such an issue with me and is out to make me look like the mean one.
At some point, it just gets so old and you just cut them out. You acknowledge they will speak to your child, but just stay out of it. There is no reason to engage. It would not end up well, and at that point, your life has moved on way beyond them.
When I walked away, he sent me a text with soo much lies!…
How he tried to uplift me and wanted to marry me 😂. Then tried to use guilt saying he hopes my mum is well, that his dad was falling fast…
He wanted to guilt me to get me to reach out and ask what was wrong with his dad?…but I didn’t. I called his mother to see how his dad was and told them what he said. They said how he was being dramatic. 😂
He tried to get me to break no contact, but I refused.
They do the most when they realize their slave is getting away lol
If the narcissist thinks anything of you, and you ignore them when they want to be seen, then this can trigger their inner wounds.
Narcissists have very fragile cores and, whilst they are not looking for every human being to massage their ego, appreciate them, tell them how special they are, and sacrifice themselves to the narcissist, narcissists do expect a fair number of people to play this role.
If you are one of those who the narcissist wants attention and adoration from, or any other form of supply, if you are a chosen one, then they will not be happy if your supply tap is running short.
You have a role to play, supply them, and you should be grateful you are sacrificing yourself for such a good cause. And don't even think about resigning from this important role, they need you, and you don't matter, so just play the part.
If you don't play the part, this will trigger in them feelings of frustration, jealousy, short-temper, anger, anxiety…, as well as things like low self worth, and potentially abandonment issues.
When you are not playing the part, when you are signalling to the narcissist that there are more important things out there than giving your undivided attention to them, it stings.
They hate being reminded that they are nothing more than ordinary… on the best of days.
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
They'll do this in the workplace and just on the street as well
*I'm glad you made this video,* it reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, $89k biweekly and a good daughter full of love..
I left covert narcissist in 2022 October thanks to your videos.Now I’m happily married and moved to another country.That narc did /doing every bad shitty things in this world to ruin my marriage and still do.My husband never even replied to his msgs and ignored him like he was nothing.Then the narc tried to provoke my husband saying that he is not a man etc..but still not getting any reply from my husband .I realised that the silent towards narc is best revenge.He still ruining another lady and she is stuck with him forever it seems😢because i got to know lately she was there with him long time before he interact with me.
Narcs will always have women waiting to be abused and have thier babies.
Women are corrupt to the core and are bringing about a plague of narcisists.
I have left two narcissistic persons behind, that I know of. But really I can’t make my mind up if they were psychopaths or narcissists.
Anyway, one of them started the smear campaign and played a sweet victim and the other one tried to get me in prison for crimes to horrible to mention. Yes, they really try to hurt you and there is no limits to their lies and evilness.
I won in the end by being persistent. Don’t revenge in reality. Seek your happiness within you. You being strong and happy is the best revenge. They can never have what you have.
Im so sorry you went through this. You seem a great person. Thanks for helping us all❤
Thanks your video is like a therapy. I was in a dark alone for 30 years counting until I bump into your video.
Seems pretty accurate. My ex hasn’t come back, and it’s been 8 months. When I broke up with him, I recall him saying how much he loves me, that he cant imagine living without me, even saying he might be depressed and that’s why he was acting up. When I put my foot down and said no, he gave me the predatory stare. He looked like some serial killer lol. I blocked him everywhere but I’m scared of running into him in person 😬
They will stalk you - get a PO Box - unlisted phone number.
Man,man,man, you just described what happened to me before I finally left my X wife. All three points you discussed happened exactly in the sequence you described. This women still takes every opportunity to destroy me. Although she already had caused me to lose my job forced me out my home by convincing the landlord to remove me from the rental agreement. Had me arrested after pretending to wanting to talk and apologize face to face. And I fell for it. Now I am homeless and no work permit or residential permit. But in the end I am Happy with myself and life again although I have nothing, Happier as those Years with Her, I guess it's true that love 💕 Blinds You.
brother everything resonated with me...each thing happened step by step...hell even the words you said "you will regret this decision, yo will never find true love" all this she said to get me back..guilt tripped me ..when this didnt work..she started smear campaign, rage baiting and abusive messages
Proud of you Bashir!!! For leaving your narcissist behind ❤️💯🙏🏽✨
Basically, if you pierce their veneer of grandiosity, their shield, if you have your own personality with your own autonomy and agency (free will), this is seen as a profound betrayal to them. This may not make sense to you, but the reason is this: In their mind, you exist as an internal voice, an image, that should have a fixed version. You exist only as a messenger and validation of their own hallucinations, not as your own personality.
And once you show your own personality or demonstrate this to them, it creates anxiety, abandonment anxiety in them.
That's why they belittle and abandon you; fundamentally to avoid rejection and their own sense of abandonment.
Walked away slammed that door shut never looked back. I focused on myself and my 2 kids and the peaceful home is divine ❤
Congratulations! You can't put a pricetag on the gift of Peace... Be blessed! 🙏❤✨
I think I have shared about my mother becoming worse as I got older and tried to live my own life moving in with me and then asking me to get an apartment together with her. Both times she worked less and less and asked me to take over all of the payments for the one-bedroom apartment because she couldn't work anymore and I was making peanuts. My father had died and my sister was in a relationship. I was her favorite but now I was her primary supply and when I told her no I couldn't do what she was asking she started beating on my back. I was in shock. I have learned from you I think when you are there only supply they can get physical if they feel they are losing you. I secretly planned to move out over the next couple of weeks. She what's left with an apartment she didn't want to pay for and I was the bad guy. I had one friend who knew the Dynamics of my situation with her and was my source of support. Thank goodness.
If she couldn’t work anymore so you can help her she needs your help she’s not narcissistic 😢 if my mom needs me I well help her for everything she beating u cause she angry you’re the one who responsible for helping her but you not helping her so she feels alone very sad
@@kowsardagan you certainly don't know the whole story. You don't know what a narcissist is. She could work she just didn't want to. Be respectful of things you don't know this is a channel for people who know that they had a lifetime add narcissistic manipulations by their parent. And I said I was making peanuts there was no way I could afford to pay for everything. I've suffered a lot coming out of the entanglement of being brainwashed to be a caregiver to my mother instead of having a mother to raise me! Mind your manners. And you are excusing physical abuse! You really need healing.
@@castingcauldron6578 you’re right I really need healing cause I meet biggest narcissist husband in my life I know very well what means narcissist but just thought mother is different sometimes we need to be kindness to the older ones if it’s impossible and I apologize to you if I say to you wrong I don’t mean
@@castingcauldron6578 I experienced a similar situation with my mom who is now 90 years old. People who criticize your decisions clearly don't get it! Be blessed! 🙏💗🫂
You were soooo SPOT ON w/ all the quotes that Narcs use to make excuses. My most recent narc ex literally said almost the SAME exact thing about "hopefully trust can be regained" and would keep claiming he was working on himself and was gonna "get me back".
He tried doing the silent treatment on me but I've been grey rocking the FUCK outta him for like the past month and now it's fired back on him cuz he's messed up so many times and showed his rage while I made sure to stay "sweet" and "calm" and "respectful" and "professional" and now he's stuck in a corner because he knows him reacting with abuse will just give me MORE reasons to give him for why I won't see him anymore!
They HAVE to be silent @ that point b/c they know they are not equipped to NOT be abusive so they are quiet to pretend they have some semblance of reasonableness and stability. HA !
I'm just studying him @ this point and actually find it quite amusing watching things play out the typical way they do with these energy vampires! I act "aloof" to his drama baits and his emotional cycles. The narcissist got GOT! :D
Good for you for standing up to your Narc Mother and thanks for sharing your experiences and educating others on what this looks like. Much Love
The best way to empower the narcissist to grow spiritually and change is to walk away from them. If the narcissist is truly interested in you, they would do WHATEVER it takes to change and grow spiritually and emotionally.
why would I want to empower a narcissist!?😂
@@gigiarmany Because we love people and treat them as children of God. This can actually draw them closer to Christ!
@@SunShineLady-d4ramen! I love your comment. The first positive comment I have seen on one of these videos....... God bless you and your family.
@@SunShineLady-d4rI watched some videos comparing narcissism to the spirit of jezebel. No Spirit has authority over Christ!!!
@@samanthareadyable Yes absolutely. Satan/Jezebel spirit does have power, but NOT authority which only belongs to God.
Don't be afraid to leave because of the kids, they are suffering too. They see what's happening and feel anxious and angry. I stayed because I kept hoping he would be a better dad. I listened to bad counseling too. My adult daughter who suffers from anxiety and ended up in a phycopath narcissist. He finally discarded her when he thought she was destroyed. Through therapy she identied that it goes back to her dad. She said I should have left a lot sooner.
I got away from my narc mom and got trapped again to my narc husband...now after years of thinking I was wrong and blaming myself.. got rid of both of them ...living by best life ever...❤ reborn...coz I dono who i am anymore....so now it's like i literally birthed myself and getting to know ti's new fun loving person...who was dead down inside
Same here
I was involved with a narcissist years ago. Every time I tried to leave she would make my life he'll. She called my family and told them all the things I had said about them during a time I had confided in her. Turned them against me. Then called my job telling them all kinds of lies about my character to try and defame me and get me fired. I stayed with her to keep the peace but I was miserable. One day I had received a phone call that she had been found dead. Bludgeoned to death. Her own child did it to her. I was sad but same time I was relieved. I was set free and begin the journey of rebuilding my life
Omg sorry that happened to you glad you're ok
So sorry wow her own child goodness
@@irenehamilton2981 thank you. Saved by the grace of God only. It happened on a Friday evening which was always the day n time we would hang out together. Just so happened that I wasn't there that day. If I were...I could've been caught up in it too. The thing with narcissist is that there is no peaceful end to their lives. They do not age or die gracefully due to the fact that they are infested with demons as well as God delivering divine justice to them for all of the good people's lives they've seriously harmed and destroyed.
@@shirlspark_stardust yes. He was only 16 when he did it. They had alot of issues within their relationship. She used to go off on him with narcissistic rage fits like she did with me. One day it happened and he just snapped and ended her life in his own fit of rage
@@justman4891 wow 😮
Wowww I can’t believe how accurate this is. Thank you for making this video. I feel less alone.
Thank you sir , your videos are really helpful and informative 🙏