I found out that my grandparents, despite working hard as doctor and nurse from the Great Depression, were able to teach me a lot about being classy! My grandfather was orphaned young, and actually quite unclassy in many ways. However, he taught me to respect people, to leave things better than I found them, and to listen to people to learn new things about the people and THEIR world. Even if their world is different from mine, I can learn to see from their perspective. It is easier in life to try to understand someone than it is to judge them and shout at them ("impose your feelings on them"). Did he follow his teachings? Of course no! He was quite stubborn. But his words were still good lessons. My grandmother taught me to sit and stand straight, in order to sing well in church. She taught me to think about how others will see me, and to use this to communicate before anyone hears a single word I say. To her dismay, I learned to ensure everyone would leave me alone 😂 I slumped over, highlighted my eyes to look MORE tired, and stared behind people when talking to them 😊 Anything to go sleep! By the time I got those lessons, as a small child, my grandparents were well-socialized with Old Money. They had multiple properties in beautiful places, and yet taught me to say thank you, and to find other ways to ensure people know that I really MEAN that I am grateful. They found class. As you know, class does not come from money. It seems to come from health, love for your people, interest in the world around you, care for your belongings, and being a genuine and good person.
@sulalee7413 I believe it's important that we learn about other cultures so we learn not everything experts state is written in stone. I interface with people from these regions not just caucasians.
1. You're mindful of how you dress 2. You're grateful for service/treat service people with respect 3. You listen more than you speak 4. You're mindful of your posture 5. You have boundaries you express politely/gracefully 6. You have clean hands and nails 7. You make other people feel good/valued 8. You ask for permission because you're mindful of how the other person will feel 9. Wait patiently, when in line 10. You don't speak too loud, because you are mindful of others --
Was solo dining in Barcelona and bumped into another solo diner who is the most classy woman I have ever met. First of all she had this very classically beautiful face, not ‘influencer’-esque, very light makeup that showed off her natural features. She dressed quite simply in a white top and black shorts, both from mid range boutique brands. She had both a manicure and pedicure that looked recently done. Now appearance aside, I loved how when she entered the room she had such a beautiful presence. When she sat down next to me she greeted the bartender and myself in a friendly manner. Even though she looked older than I was, she spoke to me as if I were the same age. It turned out that she was actually a managing partner at one of the top law firms in the US and is one of the best lawyers in the country in her field. She also had a small number of hobbies that she is fascinated by. And through all this her aura was so relaxed - and it’s this exact feeling that makes me think a woman is classy. She was not overconfident and did not say things to show off her assets, nor was she too humble and waiting for my queues. She was just very comfortable and relaxed being herself. It’s clear that she was very smart and had an immense wealth of inner grace that supported everything I could see on the outside. This woman just had such a beautiful aura, I meet many many people on my travels and yet I still keep thinking about her!
Yes, really classy people are rare, they never show off, and I think you were lucky to meet one of them - even for a short time. But I would like to admit that if you were able to notice and appreciate all that sofisticated features of the lady it says a lot of your wit and taste.
This is SO down to earth, I was skeptical at first because you can find so many bullshit on instagram and tiktok about “elegance”, but your view and your takes on elegance are on point. Not just about looks. Thank you!
The practice of holding a wine glass or champagne flute by the stem is because you don’t want to warm up your drink. Most (but not all) rules of etiquette have a practical base.
we make wines and MCC and agree, white and MCC is held by the stem or the base. I get edgy seeing wine being clutched and warmed up 😂 Brandy and red is more acceptable to hold slightly at the bowl but….up to the drinker 😊
There is a difference between clutching the bowl in one's fist with all fingers clamped around it and holding it lightly as Mademoiselle does with 3 or 4 fingers just to steady it.
I really appreciate how you pointed out the difference between being classy and judgmental. You are correct - "grace" is about more than just elegance in clothing or body posture. It also means thinking and behaving with grace, and that automatically means that you are either less judgmental, or more polite about it. The real judgmental people are, indeed, those who are defensive and feeling like they have something to prove. Thank you for discussing it in this video.
Listening more than you speak and being polite is not a rule for making a 'lady' a classy. It's a sign of respect that everyone should practice. That's class.
We wish you had this VLOG available when our three daughters were in their twenties. They would have experienced much less anxiety. We're going to recommend you to our granddaughter. Merci!
Could you not help your daughters feel less anxiety? Surely they needed a mental health professional for this if you couldn’t help them, not a TH-cam video 😢
You give this subject warmth and you come off as very genuine. I enjoy your take on what it is to be classy. It's not a way to try to not be something dislikeable, but rather a strive to be mindful. I'll take that subscription, thank you! Best regards, Alexandra from Sweden
I was just in the french hypermarket, a place where you do not expect to see ‘ Fancy’ people. Yet, had a perfect example of people kindly waiting in line without tutting and mumbling whilst an elderly lady had forgotten to weigh her veggies. Absolute french class. The kind of manners you rarely see in a similar store in the UK.
UK doesn't have any fashion sadly. People dress disgusting most of the time, no one knows what size are there, crocs and flipflops are being worn 24/7 and it just demotivates me to look good a lot of the time. Everything is baggy or girls go out literally naked, no self-respect. And it's not about class difference or money, Primark and charity shops sell very nice things but it's what you choose and how you wear it. Most of the time - tacky but I've seen very elegant and beautiful dressed girls from Primark. If this video is more popular in the UK people would probably sue her/ cancel her for what she said.
@@Bella-dr5zoI hear you. I'm in the UK and I don't dress extravagant but just more classic normal very much how she has been suggesting, and even then I still feel too dressy simply because everyone around me has made 0 effort. So sadly depending on where I go I dress down a bit just so that people won't feel intimidated. Sad really 😢
In the US I remember waiting in a long line with my then 3 year old who was waiting quietly with me while the woman behind us was huffing and puffing the entire wait time. As a fellow American I was horrified that a 3 year old was more capable of waiting than an adult woman.
@@Bella-dr5zo Please try not to be too judgemental. The UK is going through the most awfully oppressive time at the moment, socially, and it badly affects the morale of everyone but especially the young. Who wants to bother when you are being denigrated by foreigners taking over your own country. It's as if they can't to anything to get ahead. It's demoralising in the extreme! I pray for better days for us all but for my home country in particular. The Sixties was heady and loving and glorious, with colours and music and new styles coming out of every doorway in London! I WANTED to look good because I felt SO good!! Sending love to everyone in our delicate world.
My mother was once on a very busy avenue and her car broke down (not that she ran out of gas). The person behind was honking and hollering and calling her names nonstop. So after a while she got out of the car and said to him "Let's trade places. I'll honk and shout, you sit in my car and wait for the tow-truck" 😂 he was not humored
I'mB on the spectrum of AuDHD, and sometimes I have a hard time with eye contact, and I avoid it in public spaces. However, I feel bad because right after, i feel that I have embarrassed someone who may have felt ignored. I'm working on it, however these things happen so fast, i catch after it hairnet - again. I feel guilty a lot and inadequate. I've been working on it for years, and it got better but still... 😢 Class is about treating everyone equally, and with respect. Keeping the golden rule. Thank you for your video 🌷
Nicely stated. Remember that we all have things we’re working on or are self conscious about. We’re overly aware of these but many times other people never notice them.
I'm AuDHD too. I don't make eye contact much any more for self care. I value myself and my precious energy. It is finite and being autistic is exhausting in a way neurotypicals don't experience. No one is going to judge someone in a wheelchair for not using the stairs. Allow yourself the grace of being neurodivergent and maybe help educate people you are around about how our brains are wired differently and how we can listen to them so much more deeply when not looking at them. We can engage our whole mind to their topic if we remove the burning, overstimulation of eye contact. Please allow yourself to be your beautiful neurodivergent self. Good people will love you for your authenticity.
Classy Traits: 1. Mindful of how you present yourself 2. How you treat service people 3. Listen more than you speak 4.Mindful of poster, stand,how you move & carry yourself 5.express calmly your boundaries 6. Care of hands 7.How you make them feel valued 8.Ask for consent, date, hug etc 9.Patiently wait in lines 10.Don't speak too loud
The string thing (to not slouch) is something I learned in ballet class, when you learn it for a long time it becomes an habit. If you want your kids to get used to it, you can make them learn ballet in their youth and they’ll certainly remember it later on. Parents can also remind their kids to sit properly when dining. Kids might feel it a bit annoying growing up, but they’ll get the habit and naturally sit right as adults.
I was expecting fashion here and got much more. My heart is warmed by this, and you are so correct! American here, and a very casual one at that (in both fashion and mannerisms) - however, I agree with and try to do these things as a rule - respect service workers, be patient in line, listen more than I talk, ask people questions, don't brag, etc. I am always astonished at people who don't ask a question after their answer (this is actually my biggest pet peeve). I am happy to see that I need more work on my fashion than my manners! But Thank you for this - I think you really captured it, even though it should go without saying. Truly, thank you!
Listening to this superb episode, I am picturing our beloved Catherine Princess of Wales. To me, she is the embodiment of elegance and grace. Bravo to your grandparents for teaching the lovely Mlle Spends proper etiquette and decorum. 🇫🇷🥂🇺🇸
I don't like to hold the base of the champagne glass because I want it to be as cool as possible, the body contact heats it up. I'm someone with class, I do all these things (I also had 12 years of ballet while growing up), and ppl ask me "why are you so different?". I've been asked that my entire life. I can't tell them I have class and you obviously don't, so, I tell them I was raised by refined parents who modeled proper etiquette etc and I simply followed suit, I was after all their child, that's what children do❣️
I think I’m a French born in Brasil 😁. Tbh my dad was adopted by my French grandparents and I spent some holidays with my dear mémé, the love of my life. I don’t remember she teaching me nothing specifically but her great Light always inspired me. The great human she was, the caring, the tenderness, how she used to speak for herself and the knowledge to drop a conversation when she knew the other person/people weren’t real listening. I could speak about her till my last day on Earth. Thank you dear for helping me remind of it. Merci à bientôt 🙏🏼💖✨
I grew up in the barbarian north (Denmark 😅) and unfortunately never learned many rules about clothing, but in this video I am happy to say that my upbringing ticked all the boxes. I think you provide a public service with this channel. It really helps people get along when they are respectful and mindful of the feelings of others and are aware that also clothing and tone of voice is making others feel a certain way. Thank you for the clarity of your explanations. Very beautiful.
Hi there, I really enjoy your content! Actually permission and masculinity made me laugh a bit 😂 ! When I first met my husband, he was asking for permission to get me out on a date for a week or so and I was turning down his questions. As a result he decided to text me: "Be ready at 8, I will come over, pick you up and get you out for dinner!" That was it then, I fell in love!! ❤
Waiting in line patiently was something I was always told and always found normal. People dont make other people wait just for because they want to have fun, usually its because they dont have control or have some problem to solve and it gets on my nerves when I see people being so rude, making sounds or comments... Never understood that.
One would hope it would be understood, but I would add to number 4 to remove obviously chipped nail polish as soon as possible (though, as you said, a small dent is okay). I'm amazed at how many videos I've seen where the nails of the content creator's hands have just a small patch of old, peeling polish left in the center. When I see that, I hear my mother's voice in my head saying, "slovenly". Nail polish remover is not expensive.
Bonjour - I’m so happy to have discovered your TH-cam channel. I especially appreciate how candid you are and not apologetic for explaining your content and high, refined standards. Today, I was thrilled to discover that the way I was taught to hold a wine glass is not incorrect! I have seen videos on TH-cam that say one must hold a wine or champagne glass by the stem. I cannot seem to do this without feeling the bowl might topple to the right or left! I’m looking forward to seeing more of your interesting and helpful work.
Muted colors and pastels look bad on me, and they depress me. I have to wear vibrant colors. My life style requires sensible jeans. I can still look and feel classy in my own way though with a cute necklace, flattering top, and no ugly holes in my jeans. Classy is definitely a state of mind as well.
Brilliant. Many might expect this video to be solely about appearance. I am so impressed that you have identified behaviours and fashion. Given the details you shared in your video, you are obviously a women of class...and you appear to be a delightful human being.
Really enjoyed this! Another example, that money cannot buy style. It needs to be taught by a kind spirit to another. It is not about taking, but about giving.
I found the video very interesting. It's especially interesting how things that make someone classy can change from culture to culture (some things like talking out loud or asking for permission or the way to sit are like that) but some things are more or less the same (like being considerate to people of service and being mindful of the way you dress and personal hygiene in your nails).
This is so interesting. Thank you for talking through these things. I was raised in a very proper environment where I was often in the public eye and was taught to only cross my legs at the knees when I was at home or going for some sort of intimate event-like a date bc it alludes sexuality and many cultures find crossing at the knees offensive. That in a proper setting a woman with class would sit knees and ankles together or tuck one foot behind the other ankle with knees together and slightly turned to one side(like you would to get out of a car with a skirt or dress on) if you need a bit more stability while sitting.
I really enjoyed this video and was wondering if you might consider doing a video about polite conversation with the French in the context of, say, a cocktail party or meeting them the first time with friends that sort of thing. I find your approach to be especially interesting and would love your point of view on this topic.
It was called “finishing school” in the Southern USA. Also it’s a huge part of southern hospitality in being a gracious host or guest. Making others feel welcomed and comfortable in any setting is true class. Of course, my family ancestors were French, so much has been taught as tradition. I appreciate your video content and delivery❤
It's so delightful to hear your voice, it's so sweet 😊 not even to mention the content of your videos, that are very helpful and rich. Thank you for sharing with us ❤
Really enjoyed this. For someone that wasn’t taught manners to such an extent (although I do the majority from having observed others, and personal intuition), it was simple to understand and easy to apply in daily life. Thank you ❤
In Austria, we are supposed to hold the champagne glass or wine glass at its stem exclusively. It is regarded rude and bad manners to leave fingerprints on the glass.
Thank you. Your graceful instruction gives confidence to those of us who find social situations awkward. It is also nice to know that, in treating others as I should, my usual behavior would be considered properly done. I am somehow put at ease. Again, thank you.
Thank you for teaching me this. I hope i can improve myself even just a bit and if so, you helped me. Also I loved how you explained how to have a good posture :)
I could kiss you for the politics comment. I was already loving the video. It’s election year in the states and I am over it. None of us are policymakers and it’s all anyone wants to talk at each other about. The listening rule is also useful here. ❤
This happens to be the most important election of the century. So it's important the people are informed and vote for the best person to lead our country forward. So that is why there is so much political conversation these days.
Hello Thank you for your wonderful videos giving us a French perspective ( which is thought of so highly throughout the world) on true Elegance. It is nice to know that what I was taught In etiquette studies for ladies over 50 years ago here in Australia still applies 😊
Could you do a video on make up? I'm always dressed vintage 50s and want to include your fashion rules. I have no idea to do make up without a winged eyelinger or a red lip :D I want to learn from you!
I personally dislike how people move the fork and knife up and down and sideways driven by the passion of their speech as if they were the stick of an orchestra director. I think etiquette should require they are to be kept on the dish whenever they are not driving the food to your mouth
Beautiful video! My Dad was French and I feel he’d approve of all of these! Speaking of nails as one of the things may I ask what pink you’re wearing in this video? It’s lovely!
Being thoughtful and considerate is being a good human being to your fellow humans, no matter what "class" or gender you are. I think it's ok to be assertive and to ask for what you want (like making sure you got soy milk in your latte) but you can do it in a polite and thoughtful way.
I love your channel, this is the first video of yours I watched. It’s wonderful. I also found you on Pinterest too so that’s fun. I look forward to more of your content, it’s really needed in this world.
I have seen several of your videos, but this is my favorite by far. Loved that it was not only about clothes/look (how we look), but also basic human behaviors and interaction with others (how we act). About manners and grace that make us polite people and respectful of each other. Bravo! (Though I have to admit that people holding cutlery badly has always put me off)
Thank you for your advice. What if I am very angry about someone who treated me like very badly? You know , a long time ago , when I had been a waitress in a restaurant, a 80 years young lady told me: I am a doctors wife and elegant , but sometimes you have to fight like an animal. This doesn’t seem very elegant , but useful in some situations.
aw that was a wonderful last thing that doesn't matter! i didn't realize how much i needed to hear that ^^ videos of this type really build a lot of pressure, so thank you for ending on such a gentle note 🙏💮
I just discovered your channel today. I am really enjoying your videos i think you're just great. Some of us know a lot of these already but its always nice to be reminded. ❤
Thank you for sharing this. You brought back memories of being told exactly the same things as a child. Life is better when kindness, confidence, and common sense can be at the heart of our personal interactions. What you said about the unimportant things holds true in Britain also, at least in my personal experience. Some things are universal I think 😊
Thank you so much for your videos. I’m really enjoying them. Would you please tell us about your couch? It looks really nice and I wonder if it is also comfortable? Mahalo!
The pictures from the "elegant ladies" channel..... they are rather costumes.... really wealthy people are not "flexing", also when something is "mainstream" with millions of followers and obvious tagging that means that is usually no longer "classy". For the last few ones: I think they are OK or as a matter of fact any mistake is OK as long as people see that we are trying to be our best selves and I think that is the key here! :-)
I was taught not the cross my legs at the knees but at my ankles when seated. Maybe this is a throw back to generations past when women wore skirts and dresses more frequently-especially skirts that ride up when you cross at the knee.
This is great! I just discovered your channel and love it. I would really like to see more of a series on classiness, both in dress and in social situations. Thank you for this great content!
What did you think? Were any of these items new to you? 👀
Crossed arms in some cultures is a sign of respect. So be mindful of who you are conversing with and their culture.
I found out that my grandparents, despite working hard as doctor and nurse from the Great Depression, were able to teach me a lot about being classy! My grandfather was orphaned young, and actually quite unclassy in many ways. However, he taught me to respect people, to leave things better than I found them, and to listen to people to learn new things about the people and THEIR world. Even if their world is different from mine, I can learn to see from their perspective. It is easier in life to try to understand someone than it is to judge them and shout at them ("impose your feelings on them"). Did he follow his teachings? Of course no! He was quite stubborn. But his words were still good lessons.
My grandmother taught me to sit and stand straight, in order to sing well in church. She taught me to think about how others will see me, and to use this to communicate before anyone hears a single word I say. To her dismay, I learned to ensure everyone would leave me alone 😂 I slumped over, highlighted my eyes to look MORE tired, and stared behind people when talking to them 😊 Anything to go sleep!
By the time I got those lessons, as a small child, my grandparents were well-socialized with Old Money. They had multiple properties in beautiful places, and yet taught me to say thank you, and to find other ways to ensure people know that I really MEAN that I am grateful.
They found class. As you know, class does not come from money. It seems to come from health, love for your people, interest in the world around you, care for your belongings, and being a genuine and good person.
@@Scheherazad100 She was speaking about her culture, wasn't she? :)
@sulalee7413 I believe it's important that we learn about other cultures so we learn not everything experts state is written in stone. I interface with people from these regions not just caucasians.
I believe the main reason for holding a champagne glass by the stem is to prevent your hands from warming up the contents.
1. You're mindful of how you dress
2. You're grateful for service/treat service people with respect
3. You listen more than you speak
4. You're mindful of your posture
5. You have boundaries you express politely/gracefully
6. You have clean hands and nails
7. You make other people feel good/valued
8. You ask for permission because you're mindful of how the other person will feel
9. Wait patiently, when in line
10. You don't speak too loud, because you are mindful of others
--
Thank yu❤
Well I do all this...except when I'm REALLY upset.
I agree with all of these things. Good list!
Yeah so it's just basic education...
Thank you 🌷
Was solo dining in Barcelona and bumped into another solo diner who is the most classy woman I have ever met. First of all she had this very classically beautiful face, not ‘influencer’-esque, very light makeup that showed off her natural features. She dressed quite simply in a white top and black shorts, both from mid range boutique brands. She had both a manicure and pedicure that looked recently done. Now appearance aside, I loved how when she entered the room she had such a beautiful presence. When she sat down next to me she greeted the bartender and myself in a friendly manner. Even though she looked older than I was, she spoke to me as if I were the same age. It turned out that she was actually a managing partner at one of the top law firms in the US and is one of the best lawyers in the country in her field. She also had a small number of hobbies that she is fascinated by. And through all this her aura was so relaxed - and it’s this exact feeling that makes me think a woman is classy. She was not overconfident and did not say things to show off her assets, nor was she too humble and waiting for my queues. She was just very comfortable and relaxed being herself. It’s clear that she was very smart and had an immense wealth of inner grace that supported everything I could see on the outside. This woman just had such a beautiful aura, I meet many many people on my travels and yet I still keep thinking about her!
Yes, really classy people are rare, they never show off, and I think you were lucky to meet one of them - even for a short time.
But I would like to admit that if you were able to notice and appreciate all that sofisticated features of the lady it says a lot of your wit and taste.
Thank you for sharing that, a lovely experience with lovely woman❣️
Vids like me make me realize more and more that class is not about wealth, but kindness consideration for yourself and others.
A lot of rich people have no class…
This is SO down to earth, I was skeptical at first because you can find so many bullshit on instagram and tiktok about “elegance”, but your view and your takes on elegance are on point. Not just about looks. Thank you!
I totally agree 💛
The practice of holding a wine glass or champagne flute by the stem is because you don’t want to warm up your drink. Most (but not all) rules of etiquette have a practical base.
The French drink it too fast..
we make wines and MCC and agree, white and MCC is held by the stem or the base. I get edgy seeing wine being clutched and warmed up 😂
Brandy and red is more acceptable to hold slightly at the bowl but….up to the drinker 😊
I searched for your comment :)
There is a difference between clutching the bowl in one's fist with all fingers clamped around it and holding it lightly as Mademoiselle does with 3 or 4 fingers just to steady it.
@@MademoiselleSpends😂
I really appreciate how you pointed out the difference between being classy and judgmental. You are correct - "grace" is about more than just elegance in clothing or body posture. It also means thinking and behaving with grace, and that automatically means that you are either less judgmental, or more polite about it. The real judgmental people are, indeed, those who are defensive and feeling like they have something to prove. Thank you for discussing it in this video.
Class isn't about being better than others. It's about being better than your own selfish urges.
Listening more than you speak and being polite is not a rule for making a 'lady' a classy. It's a sign of respect that everyone should practice. That's class.
We wish you had this VLOG available when our three daughters were in their twenties. They would have experienced much less anxiety. We're going to recommend you to our granddaughter. Merci!
Could you not help your daughters feel less anxiety? Surely they needed a mental health professional for this if you couldn’t help them, not a TH-cam video 😢
You give this subject warmth and you come off as very genuine. I enjoy your take on what it is to be classy. It's not a way to try to not be something dislikeable, but rather a strive to be mindful. I'll take that subscription, thank you! Best regards, Alexandra from Sweden
Proper speech and grammar are important, too.
That would make an interesting topic!
I'm sure the context was about speaking English as a foreigner...
Yes, but you don't need to over-impress.
Wonderful! to see that one's old-school manners still hold the test of time!!
Thank you for caring to share this content in this day and age!
I was just in the french hypermarket, a place where you do not expect to see ‘ Fancy’ people. Yet, had a perfect example of people kindly waiting in line without tutting and mumbling whilst an elderly lady had forgotten to weigh her veggies. Absolute french class. The kind of manners you rarely see in a similar store in the UK.
UK doesn't have any fashion sadly. People dress disgusting most of the time, no one knows what size are there, crocs and flipflops are being worn 24/7 and it just demotivates me to look good a lot of the time. Everything is baggy or girls go out literally naked, no self-respect. And it's not about class difference or money, Primark and charity shops sell very nice things but it's what you choose and how you wear it. Most of the time - tacky but I've seen very elegant and beautiful dressed girls from Primark. If this video is more popular in the UK people would probably sue her/ cancel her for what she said.
@@Bella-dr5zoI hear you. I'm in the UK and I don't dress extravagant but just more classic normal very much how she has been suggesting, and even then I still feel too dressy simply because everyone around me has made 0 effort. So sadly depending on where I go I dress down a bit just so that people won't feel intimidated. Sad really 😢
In the US I remember waiting in a long line with my then 3 year old who was waiting quietly with me while the woman behind us was huffing and puffing the entire wait time. As a fellow American I was horrified that a 3 year old was more capable of waiting than an adult woman.
@@Bella-dr5zo Please try not to be too judgemental. The UK is going through the most awfully oppressive time at the moment, socially, and it badly affects the morale of everyone but especially the young. Who wants to bother when you are being denigrated by foreigners taking over your own country. It's as if they can't to anything to get ahead. It's demoralising in the extreme! I pray for better days for us all but for my home country in particular. The Sixties was heady and loving and glorious, with colours and music and new styles coming out of every doorway in London! I WANTED to look good because I felt SO good!! Sending love to everyone in our delicate world.
My mother was once on a very busy avenue and her car broke down (not that she ran out of gas). The person behind was honking and hollering and calling her names nonstop. So after a while she got out of the car and said to him "Let's trade places. I'll honk and shout, you sit in my car and wait for the tow-truck" 😂 he was not humored
7:30 I love my “squoval”shapes nails. Now and forever. 🥰
I'mB on the spectrum of AuDHD, and sometimes I have a hard time with eye contact, and I avoid it in public spaces. However, I feel bad because right after, i feel that I have embarrassed someone who may have felt ignored. I'm working on it, however these things happen so fast, i catch after it hairnet - again. I feel guilty a lot and inadequate. I've been working on it for years, and it got better but still... 😢 Class is about treating everyone equally, and with respect. Keeping the golden rule. Thank you for your video 🌷
Nicely stated. Remember that we all have things we’re working on or are self conscious about. We’re overly aware of these but many times other people never notice them.
I'm AuDHD too. I don't make eye contact much any more for self care. I value myself and my precious energy. It is finite and being autistic is exhausting in a way neurotypicals don't experience. No one is going to judge someone in a wheelchair for not using the stairs. Allow yourself the grace of being neurodivergent and maybe help educate people you are around about how our brains are wired differently and how we can listen to them so much more deeply when not looking at them. We can engage our whole mind to their topic if we remove the burning, overstimulation of eye contact. Please allow yourself to be your beautiful neurodivergent self. Good people will love you for your authenticity.
Classy Traits:
1. Mindful of how you present yourself
2. How you treat service people
3. Listen more than you speak
4.Mindful of poster, stand,how you move & carry yourself
5.express calmly your boundaries
6. Care of hands
7.How you make them feel valued
8.Ask for consent, date, hug etc
9.Patiently wait in lines
10.Don't speak too loud
The string thing (to not slouch) is something I learned in ballet class, when you learn it for a long time it becomes an habit. If you want your kids to get used to it, you can make them learn ballet in their youth and they’ll certainly remember it later on. Parents can also remind their kids to sit properly when dining. Kids might feel it a bit annoying growing up, but they’ll get the habit and naturally sit right as adults.
I remember this too from ballet. ❤
Thats why in greece sent us as kids in ballet class.
I’m thankful that my mom would always correct me while sitting on the table.
Yes! Ballet helped me with my body for life! I practiced from 3-18, moving to pointe. It was a wonderful experience🤍🩰
I learnt this in Yoga class as an adult. Really changed how I carried myself
I was expecting fashion here and got much more. My heart is warmed by this, and you are so correct! American here, and a very casual one at that (in both fashion and mannerisms) - however, I agree with and try to do these things as a rule - respect service workers, be patient in line, listen more than I talk, ask people questions, don't brag, etc. I am always astonished at people who don't ask a question after their answer (this is actually my biggest pet peeve). I am happy to see that I need more work on my fashion than my manners! But Thank you for this - I think you really captured it, even though it should go without saying. Truly, thank you!
Listening to this superb episode, I am picturing our beloved Catherine Princess of Wales. To me, she is the embodiment of elegance and grace.
Bravo to your grandparents for teaching the lovely Mlle Spends proper etiquette and decorum.
🇫🇷🥂🇺🇸
Thank you for your kind words ♥️
I don't like to hold the base of the champagne glass because I want it to be as cool as possible, the body contact heats it up.
I'm someone with class, I do all these things (I also had 12 years of ballet while growing up), and ppl ask me "why are you so different?". I've been asked that my entire life. I can't tell them I have class and you obviously don't, so, I tell them I was raised by refined parents who modeled proper etiquette etc and I simply followed suit, I was after all their child, that's what children do❣️
I think I’m a French born in Brasil 😁. Tbh my dad was adopted by my French grandparents and I spent some holidays with my dear mémé, the love of my life. I don’t remember she teaching me nothing specifically but her great Light always inspired me. The great human she was, the caring, the tenderness, how she used to speak for herself and the knowledge to drop a conversation when she knew the other person/people weren’t real listening. I could speak about her till my last day on Earth. Thank you dear for helping me remind of it. Merci à bientôt 🙏🏼💖✨
I so miss these elegant gems that were once taught in charm school ❤
I am really very happy to hear your opinion on professional envy, on price tags and on showing success without being asked. You are absolutely right!
Nothing new but all very considerate and reassurring, thank you. And the end with the stuff that "does not matter". Lovely hear that. 👍
I grew up in the barbarian north (Denmark 😅) and unfortunately never learned many rules about clothing, but in this video I am happy to say that my upbringing ticked all the boxes. I think you provide a public service with this channel. It really helps people get along when they are respectful and mindful of the feelings of others and are aware that also clothing and tone of voice is making others feel a certain way. Thank you for the clarity of your explanations. Very beautiful.
Hi there, I really enjoy your content! Actually permission and masculinity made me laugh a bit 😂 ! When I first met my husband, he was asking for permission to get me out on a date for a week or so and I was turning down his questions. As a result he decided to text me: "Be ready at 8, I will come over, pick you up and get you out for dinner!" That was it then, I fell in love!! ❤
Hahaha! I am so glad it worked! Good on your husband for taking the lead and getting his dream lady 💪♥️
Thank you for your kind words!
I enjoy every video that you make. Because you are so natural, classy and clear ❤
Waiting in line patiently was something I was always told and always found normal. People dont make other people wait just for because they want to have fun, usually its because they dont have control or have some problem to solve and it gets on my nerves when I see people being so rude, making sounds or comments... Never understood that.
It’s all about how you make others feel or receive; how wonderful! And about comfortable with yourself, or as the French say, in your own skin… yes! 🙌
Thank you for this video! I love your sweet, elegant and concise manner of sharing useful tips. Merci beaucoup! ❤
You are so welcome!
One would hope it would be understood, but I would add to number 4 to remove obviously chipped nail polish as soon as possible (though, as you said, a small dent is okay). I'm amazed at how many videos I've seen where the nails of the content creator's hands have just a small patch of old, peeling polish left in the center. When I see that, I hear my mother's voice in my head saying, "slovenly". Nail polish remover is not expensive.
I agree, much better and quicker just to remove chipped nail polish if you don't have time to redo it 😊❤
😭imagine judging a fellow woman on her nails :( I’m guessing you don’t have any friends
Bonjour - I’m so happy to have discovered your TH-cam channel. I especially appreciate how candid you are and not apologetic for explaining your content and high, refined standards. Today, I was thrilled to discover that the way I was taught to hold a wine glass is not incorrect! I have seen videos on TH-cam that say one must hold a wine or champagne glass by the stem. I cannot seem to do this without feeling the bowl might topple to the right or left!
I’m looking forward to seeing more of your interesting and helpful work.
Thank you for your kind words!
@@MademoiselleSpends And now that is a classy response. Simple and heartfelt.
Your videos are lovely. Thank you.
Muted colors and pastels look bad on me, and they depress me. I have to wear vibrant colors. My life style requires sensible jeans. I can still look and feel classy in my own way though with a cute necklace, flattering top, and no ugly holes in my jeans. Classy is definitely a state of mind as well.
Brilliant. Many might expect this video to be solely about appearance. I am so impressed that you have identified behaviours and fashion. Given the details you shared in your video, you are obviously a women of class...and you appear to be a delightful human being.
Ty.. My hubby is American French, and is very impatient which is what you hit the nail on the head when you said just that😊
Really enjoyed this! Another example, that money cannot buy style. It needs to be taught by a kind spirit to another. It is not about taking, but about giving.
I found the video very interesting. It's especially interesting how things that make someone classy can change from culture to culture (some things like talking out loud or asking for permission or the way to sit are like that) but some things are more or less the same (like being considerate to people of service and being mindful of the way you dress and personal hygiene in your nails).
This is very well said!
You are charming. I'm learning new things ( like holding my champagne glass) but your voice is so pleasing.
Merci!
This is so interesting. Thank you for talking through these things. I was raised in a very proper environment where I was often in the public eye and was taught to only cross my legs at the knees when I was at home or going for some sort of intimate event-like a date bc it alludes sexuality and many cultures find crossing at the knees offensive. That in a proper setting a woman with class would sit knees and ankles together or tuck one foot behind the other ankle with knees together and slightly turned to one side(like you would to get out of a car with a skirt or dress on) if you need a bit more stability while sitting.
I really enjoyed this video and was wondering if you might consider doing a video about polite conversation with the French in the context of, say, a cocktail party or meeting them the first time with friends that sort of thing. I find your approach to be especially interesting and would love your point of view on this topic.
Thank goodness my grandmother taught me how to walk, sit and treat people properly.
It was called “finishing school” in the Southern USA. Also it’s a huge part of southern hospitality in being a gracious host or guest. Making others feel welcomed and comfortable in any setting is true class. Of course, my family ancestors were French, so much has been taught as tradition. I appreciate your video content and delivery❤
I love how genuine and down to earth you are. Thank you for the practical tips
Wonderful! Thank you so much! I love the bonus part too.
What if you like bright colours?
Wear whatever you want😊
Great video. Good counsel for both women and men.
Aaah, I loved this, dear Ariane !! It's what my father taught me, but a little differently. Lots of love to you in Norway, Astrid Eta Anja ❣
Great video- so practical, thank you!
wow this is exactly the kinda tips i was looking for! they're so genuine! loved the vii one
It's so delightful to hear your voice, it's so sweet 😊 not even to mention the content of your videos, that are very helpful and rich. Thank you for sharing with us ❤
My pleasure 😊
I love all your tips!
Really enjoyed this. For someone that wasn’t taught manners to such an extent (although I do the majority from having observed others, and personal intuition), it was simple to understand and easy to apply in daily life. Thank you ❤
In Austria, we are supposed to hold the champagne glass or wine glass at its stem exclusively. It is regarded rude and bad manners to leave fingerprints on the glass.
Please tell me more about your country!
I am really really loving your channel! For sure I will recommend to my sister and dearest friends! Thank you a lot!
What a great video! Thank you so much. 🧡
I just found your channel..and I LOVE IT!! I’ve really enjoyed them and look forward to seeing more💗
Such a lovely video thank you so much. :)
Thank you. Your graceful instruction gives confidence to those of us who find social situations awkward. It is also nice to know that, in treating others as I should, my usual behavior would be considered properly done. I am somehow put at ease. Again, thank you.
Thank you for teaching me this. I hope i can improve myself even just a bit and if so, you helped me. Also I loved how you explained how to have a good posture :)
I could kiss you for the politics comment. I was already loving the video. It’s election year in the states and I am over it. None of us are policymakers and it’s all anyone wants to talk at each other about. The listening rule is also useful here. ❤
This happens to be the most important election of the century. So it's important the people are informed and vote for the best person to lead our country forward. So that is why there is so much political conversation these days.
Thsnk you, I really enjoyed this, when you know better, you do better, I learned a few things, and will use them❤
I loved this video, such good information
I’m glad!
These are called"manners"!
Love your videos. Great advice!
I love your channel, thank you ❣️
I loved your take on elegance and class! You expressed it simply, kindly, and accessibly.
Hello
Thank you for your wonderful videos giving us a French perspective ( which is thought of so highly throughout the world) on true Elegance.
It is nice to know that what I was taught In etiquette studies for ladies over 50 years ago here in Australia still applies 😊
Thank you for this video. I appreciate so much because it's done without being condescending. ❤️❤️❤️. Greetings from your neighboring country!
Thank you! Greetings back 👋
Very good. Agree. Thanks for sharing things that don’t matter. It’s a good balance.
Could you do a video on make up? I'm always dressed vintage 50s and want to include your fashion rules. I have no idea to do make up without a winged eyelinger or a red lip :D I want to learn from you!
I personally dislike how people move the fork and knife up and down and sideways driven by the passion of their speech as if they were the stick of an orchestra director. I think etiquette should require they are to be kept on the dish whenever they are not driving the food to your mouth
That is correct. You’re not meant to wave your cutlery as you speak. They’re meant to stay on your plate.
Utterly delightful. Subscribed.
You are so sweet and informative! Thank you!😘
Very nice! Thank you!❤🎉😊
Beautiful video! My Dad was French and I feel he’d approve of all of these! Speaking of nails as one of the things may I ask what pink you’re wearing in this video? It’s lovely!
I love your videos ❤ and the way you explain
Excellent!
I'm so grateful for this thank you❤
Being thoughtful and considerate is being a good human being to your fellow humans, no matter what "class" or gender you are. I think it's ok to be assertive and to ask for what you want (like making sure you got soy milk in your latte) but you can do it in a polite and thoughtful way.
I love your channel, this is the first video of yours I watched. It’s wonderful. I also found you on Pinterest too so that’s fun. I look forward to more of your content, it’s really needed in this world.
I have seen several of your videos, but this is my favorite by far. Loved that it was not only about clothes/look (how we look), but also basic human behaviors and interaction with others (how we act). About manners and grace that make us polite people and respectful of each other. Bravo!
(Though I have to admit that people holding cutlery badly has always put me off)
I just found you today. Thank you so much for making these videos. I have wanted to learn things like this for so long. You explain it so well. ❤
New subscriber here. I love your channel!
I love your channel, I just discovered it! Looking forward to more!
Thank you for your advice. What if I am very angry about someone who treated me like very badly?
You know , a long time ago , when I had been a waitress in a restaurant, a 80 years young lady told me: I am a doctors wife and elegant , but sometimes you have to fight like an animal. This doesn’t seem very elegant , but useful in some situations.
That lady sure knew what she was talking about!
aw that was a wonderful last thing that doesn't matter! i didn't realize how much i needed to hear that ^^ videos of this type really build a lot of pressure, so thank you for ending on such a gentle note 🙏💮
Thank you.
Very good information. ❤
I just discovered your channel today. I am really enjoying your videos i think you're just great. Some of us know a lot of these already but its always nice to be reminded. ❤
Same here! :-)
That was real ❤Thank you merci bucu
My pleasure 😊♥️
New subscriber here ! Thank you for informative videos you make, I learn so much about being a lady from you.
Thank you for sharing this. You brought back memories of being told exactly the same things as a child. Life is better when kindness, confidence, and common sense can be at the heart of our personal interactions. What you said about the unimportant things holds true in Britain also, at least in my personal experience. Some things are universal I think 😊
Thank you writing this! I am really glad my experience resonated with yours ♥️
Definitely universal. We just need to remind people (and ourselves) how to/why we do it these days. 🙂
What a nice video! Thank you.
Your channel is very refreshing, I love it, keep making videos 👏👏👏
Thank you so much for your videos. I’m really enjoying them.
Would you please tell us about your couch? It looks really nice and I wonder if it is also comfortable? Mahalo!
I loved this!
Tusen takk!
I was taught the string method posture maintenance. I am Slavic.
The pictures from the "elegant ladies" channel..... they are rather costumes.... really wealthy people are not "flexing", also when something is "mainstream" with millions of followers and obvious tagging that means that is usually no longer "classy". For the last few ones: I think they are OK or as a matter of fact any mistake is OK as long as people see that we are trying to be our best selves and I think that is the key here! :-)
I was taught not the cross my legs at the knees but at my ankles when seated. Maybe this is a throw back to generations past when women wore skirts and dresses more frequently-especially skirts that ride up when you cross at the knee.
This is great! I just discovered your channel and love it. I would really like to see more of a series on classiness, both in dress and in social situations. Thank you for this great content!