We talk about BM and How They Treat Children but How do we as an ENTIRE Community do Them?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ส.ค. 2024
- Do we treat them like a prize or a burden
#Children #Community #Love #burden #dating #datingadvice #datingtips #datinglife #relationships #relationshipsbelike #relationshipsgoals #relationships101 #men #women #fyp #foryoupage #trending #fypシ #blacktiktok #love #TonyaTko #tonyatkoshow #tonyatkoclips
People used to sacrifice their lives for the benefit of their children. Now, they sacrifice their children for their own benefit
I think more black ppl are treating their children with love and respect than in the past. I personally stand up for children that are being yelled at, berated or insulted, when I was a child, I NEVER saw anyone stand up for a child being put down, cowed down by an adult...especially if that adult was their parent. Almost all children I knew got beltings when I was a child tht was the norm, when a fellow parent says they beat their children as a form of discipline today, I am shocked! It even comes down to just knowledge of your childs likes and dislikes...no one cared about a childs opinion when I was a child, and it was worse in my parents generation...ppl routinely gave awsy their children to family and others.
@@haileys5371Thank you, this is so true. I remember how shocked adults were that my grandfather would ask for a child’s side of things in a conflict. This was in The 70’s and people were so offended but he didn’t care. It taught me that I had a right to stand up for myself.
It's been that way since 1922 with the Little Rascals
We need to talk about this more. It’s terrible how we treat our children. The lack of patience, our kids are unheard too. Recipe for disaster.
I completely agree
As a community we can all do better
Their is NO community with BM have destroyed the community.
I remember taking my 5 year old to visit my aunt and cousins. I put a cute little shirt on my daughter that read "baby girl". We walk in the door and my very own aunt looks at my daughter and says "you ain't no baby girl" to a 5 year old! I think I was so shocked I just kinda zoned out for a minute thinking did she really just say that..nah that's not what she meant though right..smh so yeah especially if those babies aren't yours we don't give af about a baby.
I left the X man bc of this. He treated our children like as if they annoy him. But he bragged outside with them. I am a white woman, he was a nigerian man. Cultural differences. He also wanted that our children serve him. They are his pension/retirement he said. Now we live free and the children can develope their education and talents. You have to be strong to survive such a man.
You better say that again, it’s the most narcissistic thing I’ve witnessed in my personal life and in other black ppl, it’s a shame, disgrace and God is watching and executing judgement. They think God is pleased with them, they obviously haven’t read the Bible they just quote scriptures and go to church to find a man or a woman.
As a half Nigeria woman in the UK I can agree with what you said. Our African parents are looking at us as their investment plan. That we should financially take care of them in their old age instead of them preparing themselves financially. There are videos about this on TH-cam. It’s a bit similar also in Chinese culture
Why are you even dating outside of your race when you have the best men
You're right, I know because I am Nigerian.
Abuse of children is rampant in Nigeria. And Nigerian men generally don't treat their children well even when they provide financial. Of course there are ones that aren't like that, but most are. Its the general culture in Nigeria regardless if tribe. This is coming from a person with a Nigerian father grew lived in Nigeria for 10 years. I would marry a Nigerian man no matter how rich he is For this reason exactly.
Listen I’m 42 and I can recall in my early teens thinking to myself why would I want to have children, when all I saw children born in poverty, broken homes or a community that hate their skin color worshipping skin color bright or white. It definitely drove home after graduating with a social worker degree and worked as a social worker. My god it was like a culture shock and I’m in the culture smh.
I love babies. However babies and children require a great deal of energy, sacrifice, and labor. The act of pouring into the next generation while being pulled in so many directions, is difficult, and a marathon. We do not know or truly understand what we are signing up for when we have children. No one teaches us to pace ourselves for the long journey. Everyone has expectations of us, the man, children, parents, siblings, bosses, friends, society, and etc… Most are taking and before you know it you are operating on fumes. You are empty and your fuse is short. You don’t know if you are coming or going, and the goal is just to make it through the day because everyone is relying on you. You went from a young woman full of life, energy, hopes, and dreams to a robot. You go through the motions just trying to survive.
I’m my mind the problem for many women isn’t a lack of love for children. It’s a lack of love and support in society for the women who are raising children. We are not given the raw materials needed to function. So we break down.
This was a whole sermon.
THIS COMMENT Needs to be PINNED 🎉
💯 As a millenial, society used scare tactics to turn us off from having kids too soon. In one sense, it worked as I believe teen pregnancies did decline. However, it worked too well because there's a general ick about having kids. I find it pretty funny because how TF did they think raising an entire generation to believe getting pregnant is the worst thing ever would work out? 😂 We understood the assignment. Society better figure out how to find some respect for mothers and families right quick!
I think many women don't want to have children because of the lack of support. It takes a village and the villages are gone, you're on your own and that can be overwhelming. The 50/50 males and deadbeat fathers are no help, they only add to the stress because they don't support their children, not even financially (for deadbeats), and if you're married the husband is more like another child you have to feed and clean up behind. He offers very little to no support in most cases, and if he's a 50/50 male, which most men are in this day in age, he wants you to do everything including cook, clean up behind him and the children plus go to work to help him pay bills because he's inadequate to do it by himself. And those are just some of the reasons. The stuff the schools are teaching the children (or being made to teach them) is appalling. There are so many crazy, unhinged males going around unaliving women nowadays. I don't blame women for not wanting to bring children into this madness. And if you do decide to bring children into the madness and they don't turn out right or they do something bad even if they are adults, YOU, the woman, gets blamed for it.
Poor and middle class women of all races have always worked full time, in addition to doing the second full time job of being a wife and mother, and we still see this right now across the globe. Only rich women or women who married wealthier men were the ones who had the luxury of only doing the one full time job of mother and wife.
This!!
@@BlkOnyx0508 OMG! TH-cam glitched and put my comment under a different video. But thank you for the support!! ❤️
😂So Cardi is right , broke men don't deserve p😸ssy?
Have you been all across the globe to know that for certain? Many places around the globe are not like the U.S., culturally or otherwise.
@@escah9150 YES! I am not American, and I have always been very knowledgeable about the world. Very few communities banned women from working as a complete control tactic, as opposed to the other and more global control tactic of banning women from high paying jobs and higher education that the feminist revolution fixed for us.
This woman needs a bigger platform!! Fr
I left a friendship bc my friend didnt like the fact i thought about my kids and actually liked them while she was busy celebrating her weekly "fuck dem kids friday" events that i wouldnt show up to
Similar for me, she was so mean to her kids for no reason. I knew I had to go when I realized that the only reason I hung out with her all day was because I was worried about how she was always doing her babies wrong.
To be fair, women in this society are demonized for not having children. So women will have kids they really don't want in order to conform. It's never about the kids. It's about fulfilling a societal expectation. Women are damned if they do, damned if they don't.
Not being funny, but this feels like a result of Our male leadership issue, yet again. Treating children like mistakes, burdens, a nuisance. Treating women like commodities to be used, traded in. Treating themselves with false respect. Honestly? All this crying they are currently crying is needed. Because WE must be the ones to save our children. We have tried following men. And we are all in a ditch and women are getting blamed for it. Enough now.
My sister is so mean to her children, they think they have a right to do this, the names she calls her children are despicable. They are huge liars and talk like a baby to their men. Theirs no love or foresight for these children, complete selfish parents. The decent ones are only for their children and talk crap about the community of children, always putting their children on a pedestal and above others because they got a little more than the others. It’s disgusting! Please make this go viral, they need to be exposed heavily, they will deny it tough!
Wowwwww! So you see what I mean
You are absolutely right. You know what was the nail in the coffin for me❓ When COVID lock down started. I was mortified to see parents were more concerned about sending their children out there to schools knowing people were dropping de@d during the peak of lockdown.
Children immune systems are the weakest. I was baffled and shook and also sad. 😢
Parents chanting “they been in the house enough” 😮 what⁉️😢 so let me get this straight you working from home and you’re pushing your kid out into them streets cause they been in the house too long⁉️🤔
Man oh man I will never forget.
Children have the LOWEST risk of dying from Covid. The average age of people who died from Covid was higher than the national lifespan. Obese and older people with comorbidities were the ones in danger, unless you had a child who was already terminally ill.
My husband was a father figure for my two son's friends. My husband took them to the movie theater. He took them fishing, he took them to church with us, because he saw how their moms treated them. Now they are still friends, One of the boys is grown and he is a male nurse. He just got married to a med doctor. His mother calls me and says they don't give her no money. My husband hates to see women treat their children bad because their dad is a jerk. The other kid got married and has two children because his mom was a piece of work. He is a bank manager. They both call me mom also. They come to see us all of the time, their wives are not interested in their mother n law. Those are two sad moms.
When I'm out shopping I see the worse treatment of kids by women. Yelling at them calling them names..and my only response is...then why did you have them when you didn't have to. I see children getting used to trap the other parent, and this can go both ways...men have nooo problem using their kids against the mom..trust, I'm experiencing this first hand. I've been saying out loud people care about kids and I wish we would stop pretending like we do. Look at the schools..inner city schools haven't changed in years. Yet the men have no issues sending their kids to them. 🤷🏽♀️
I cannot speak for everyone but I can speak for my circle, LOVE kids and LOVE their kids...
Same!
I be needing to get away and I make no mistakes about it. My mental is always a priority.
I have seen it ALL in the black community when it comes to children. The ones deemed a chance versus the ones from defunct families. From birthday party invites, mentorship,gifts and verbal praise.
Don't let the child be astetically on the wrong spectrum of scale; it's disgusting how many parents succumb to their child's handicap and lave them to the wolves as an attempt to "keep them normal".😢
Being responsible at all times is key.
Tonya, I love your content, but I think you are being unfair here. You don't bring up a very important and pivotal issue. You are discussing the result and not the REAL problem. I see this ALL THE TIME working in pediatrics. I've seen the problem for decades.
People are upset at parents mistreating and abusing their children, and rightfully so. But when does anybody say it's OK if you don't want children? It's ok to be childfree. Nobody says that. Does anybody understand that these women just never wanted children? They had children to conform to societal expectations and not to be demonized. The number of women who have cried 😢😢😢😢😢 to me over the years about not wanting to be mothers would break your heart. But they have children because they believe they have no choice, no matter how bad their own traumas and mental health are. That is the problem. Our society FORCING motherhood on women.
I'm sure all these high and mighty women in the comments would never support their female relatives and friends being childfree, but want to get mad and outraged at abusive mothers.
That is why I work as hard as I can in my community to spread awareness to young women about being childfree.
Wish I could like this millions of times 😅
Is that why so many white young couples are pushing strollers with black babies in there? The pregnant woman decided to give it up for adoption ?
This shyt is so true and its SO very sad. The men and women stay praying for GOD to save them while they neglect their own creation and kill their own creations. No they dont care and i dont believe they will
Yup I’ve been saying this in my soul for years, very selfish parents and have the nerve to call in God when he’s all about the welfare of children and their Childrens children. Bible scripture says a good man leave’s an inheritance to his children’s children. When was the last time you know a bkack person inherited an inheritance and their children from their parents or grandparents? I’ll wait! They find every excuse on the book to shift blame on why they have attitude or problems toward their children, unbelievable
Get babies for the sake of it nope...enough of that already. Dont know how to parent nor care for getting into healthy relationships and having children then so can have a real family unit. In the majority not done. Children brought into world as mistakes, raised under abuse. Need alot of help and growth spiritually, mentally and physically. Raising a child around untrained children...mayne caring about the future is closing off.
Speak on it 🎉
More than meets the eye 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😹😹😹😹🤦🏾♀️
When you go outside with a child, people get angry
This woman is gorgeous.
There is a lot of unhealed trauma that needs to be addressed in our society. I appreciate that. But not everyone in our community treats their children badly or doesn’t appreciate the gift of the future these new lives bring. There are many people in our community who appreciate this gift, support and love it. Let’s not generalise or believe that our experience is everyone else’s experience. The world is just too big for these blanket statements.
First , we are not one community, we are many different communities raised in different ways! The mistake people make is lumping us all in one community, the hood communities. We are not all of one mind, we’re individuals! What you do with your kids is what you do. Yes we love and support our babies!! They are not any of those things! They are ours to love and nurture!!
💯
This is exactly the root of the issue we see in adult's dating now. It's all connected. We terrorize and emotionally abuse and neglect children and then these little girls and boys grow up to feel less worthy and become hurt and angry adults that struggle to understand true care and connection for another. It manifests in men and women in different ways.
Very interesting!
So EAGER to drop them off to teachers, treating them like babysitters without the pay, and then think we're supposed to raise them...
I don't think the mother is happy with a child whose father is not participating with the mental and physical growth of their own child. However, you cannot tell a child that their dad don't love them.
So true ❤❤❤
True!!! Folks get mad at me because kids love me. I’m the gentle mama. But they don’t act up with me. Why? Consistency.
Thank you
I do!
Yes we should talk about how black men and black women treat their children
I see kids as a loud annoying nuissance that you have to take care of for 30 years, and i want to relax in peace thats why i don't have any.
You shouldn’t have to explain to anyone why you don’t want or don’t have children. It is your body and your decision. Live your life
This is true
Thank you. Here I am, loving my babies by myself, because soooo many people mistreat children and I refuse to put up with their nonsense. My children are MY gift, MY labor of love, and my only regret is that they have such an awful world to grow up in. But, yes, I do advise women not to have kids moving forward. People don’t value mothers and some mothers don’t even value their kids. Shameful.
Just read that a mom has been accused of killing her two children. So much savagery.
I tell people this: if you dont want kids, dont go out there f!@#ing. Its really that simple. I craziest thing i keep seeing is woman putting they life on the line, having a child with a man who didn't promise them stability, loyalty, compassion. Even for married people, yall not checking this people before marriage. Do they want to be a parent? If something happens, will you be partially ready to support your child by yourself? Man and woman need to watch up and fet it together! These kids didnt ask to be. Fix your recklessness!
Yoo. Hehe 😂
It is not just one culture, so why after all that people in society label us , you speak against your own race your just as ignorant with this video .
I’m asking a question and you’re calling ppl names… I bet you call children names and that’s why you’re so triggered. SMH.
If we followed the instructions of God, we could avoid a lot of this. The Bible says children are a blessing , and every male and female has been a baby. If we would raise them according to the will of God, and with the help of God, things would be different, not perfect but much better. And most black women don't close their womb, it's wide open to sex!! They choose abortion to stop life, and that's Satan working through them. And as for some men not doing their father duties because of their wants and needs, Satan is working through them as well. all of this is sin. And consequences come with sin. We are all seeing the consequences of this sin. The only way to stop this is to invite Jesus in your life. Repent of sin and the transformation of life starts. It's going to take some time, but I'm a living testimony of being changed from what she's talking about.
Girl please 😒
Yuck
I had to go overseas to get my wife, thank God he blessed us with 3 kids
I agree with ya