I am a survivor of adult grooming. I am creating awareness for the adult community so that they can protect themselves and protect their children. It starts with us.
@@ehrensjournal Grooming isn't even an accurate word to use ffs. That mostly only applies to children, not adults. That would be like saying that a child can become an adult at age 12 or 15. If anything, this is more like a human trafficking story, not a grooming situation.
I found an amazing man without having healed before getting together with him. I had CPTSD and what you are doing is gaslighting people who haven't healed into believing that they can never have a healthy relationship.
I'm so glad you made this vid. It doesn't just happen to kids. I've had guys and even some women try to give me things for free or help pay for things because they knew I was struggling financially or sometimes is depressed only to find sexual intent later. Very sick and disingenuous of someone to do. These adults also prey on the neurodivergent community
That's exactly what this guy did to me. He bought me a used washing machine because I needed one and was recovering from surgery. I didn't know he was gay. When I confronted him he ran out my door and left town.
Ahhh, so helpful, I'm 23 and currently I'm dealing with this, a man of 59 trying to manipulate me continiously, i feel super suspicions about being manipulated by this man, so i searched and found almost exactly what you r saying, actually I'm virgin and never had a boyfriend and he knows that the worst part is he is my dad most trusted friend😑 but, now im gonna woop his ass out of my personal space 💀
@@AlcoholDrinker he may not be purposely grooming her but any time there is a power difference or an age difference between two people, the one in power or older one is preying upon the younger or weaker one. A healthy man (or woman) would want to be with someone closer to their own age.
@@Tito_the_fish it's not grooming in an adult context, it's just pure manipulation. Sometimes grooming can be a good thing too, a son is groomed to take over a job of his father
This is the best explanation I have come across. I am working towards living in a van. Yesterday, I watched a video of a solo young woman traveler attempt to boondock in an isolated section of the desert in Arizona where she was approached by a predator. I felt anger while watching her give all her oranges away and then stuck around for round two. She was so lucky he had self control, even if it was just barely. We women struggle with protecting ourselves. Our societal grooming began as soon as we were old enough to communicate. We're supposed to be nice and inviting. Polite. We're not supposed to say no or tell a man we aren't interested if it will crush his ego or make him mad. We were taught that we are responsible for a man's behavior while also being told that we must appeal to a man's senses.
They also encourage women to be sexually appealing and not be mad at a man if he sexually assaults us. We’re literally dangling fresh meat in front of his face and getting mad when he takes it! Women do not have to be super sexualized or super pretty all the time. It leads to people thinking we want them to try to take sex from us. Relax & look messy for once ❤ Stay safe ladies
You were fortunate enough to learn about this early in life, narcissists. It’s unfortunate that you had to learn about this. I was married to a Narc for 12 years before I couldn’t take the abuse anymore. I had no idea what had happened to me or what was happening to me. I let that psycho control me for years, about 16, before I figured out how to make it stop. I only discovered what a Narc was about 3 years ago. God put a bunch of Narcissist videos in my TH-cam feed and I finally watched one, I was in shock after binge watching a bunch. I learned a lot about what she did to me and how it was still affecting me. I am very thankful that God put Alicia in my life. Keep fighting the good fight, stay strong.
Thanks for sharing your story. 16 years is a long time and a lot of brainwashing to undo. Good on you. I think the people who do educational videos on narcs almost literally save someone life sometimes.
My sis stayed with my aunt, most of high school, my aunt was married to a sicko, my aunt knew we didn't. So my aunt marries off all the girls under house one by one. For my sis, she finds her a narcissist psycho, who i have a feeling recognize each other, like psychopaths recognize each other....anyway, my sis is cheated on w multiple women a year by this narc psych and he is really good a grooming women and young women...but my sis doesnt see this, she gets angry, leaves and comes.back to him every single time. So she got married at 18, shes still with him almost 50, 4 kids, she pushed her mom us siblings away since marrying this sicko, basically brainwashed her thinking, now shes lost 4ever from us, nothing can be done...
I looked this topic up because I was groomed by my recent ex boss that was illegally recording me in the bathroom and stalking me. After everything came to light I realized he groomed me the whole 6 years I worked for him. I commented on one of the videos talking about the Coleen ballenger (Miranda sings) video talking about grooming and shared some of my situation and was attacked because they said I was using the word disrespectfully and “throwing it around” which takes a way from children that see groomed. I tried explaining how grooming children is much worse even though in my situation it has almost ruined my life but didn’t want to type out the whole story. These people attacked me making me feel worse. I didn’t ask for what happened to me but after many attempts to explain not only children can be groomed my comment was deleted and it really hurt me so thank you for making this video!
adult sexual grooming is said not to exist just because there is almost no empirical study about it. it's totally unfair. we need inductive and bottom-up approaches to prevent abuses and victim blamings in the light of adult sexual grooming.
@@kiichiroota2240 thank you! I have been put through hell and back with what happened to me and because of who my boss is he was let off with the lightest sentence ever and the amount of people that blamed me for continuing to work with him or not see the warning signs is awful. He promised me his whole practice once I finished law school and threatened me if I tried to quit. He got to know my family and me and used the lack of support I had against me to manipulate me for his own sexual needs by filming me in the bathroom at work and stalking me. I will admit those saying adult grooming doesn’t happen added salt to the wound with people not acknowledging it’s a possibility. Obviously I wouldn’t compare it to grooming children because that is a whole other level of evil but it does happen and unfortunately I’m proof of that. Thank you for your comment you have no idea how much it means to me 🩷 I would love to find a support group or something but it’s not widely talked about and so I like many will work through it the best I can and apparently make random comments on TH-cam hoping to spread awareness.
@@AngelFace-fu2uv I’m so sorry that happened to you! Thank you for speaking up! I’ve literally been attacked for saying I was groomed, which is exactly what happened, by a man old enough to be my father yet I am in my 30s so I have been blamed for taking away from actual grooming done to children. It’s awful and I truly am sorry you know what I’m talking about. I’m glad you are finally coming to terms with it. Mine just happened March 2023, that’s when I found out about it, and I’ve made progress but had no idea how difficult this would be. There are so many layers to it that dissecting them all is proving to be difficult. My heart goes out to you 🩷
@@kiichiroota2240 thank you! I am beyond grateful for your comment 🩷 I literally tried reaching out on the topic for some validation of what I experienced with others that I hoped knew what I was talking about but was shamed for taking away from “actual grooming” that is done to children. Even Google shows grooming as the manipulation of children which doesn’t help whatsoever. There definitely needs to be more research or even focus on grooming of adults too. I will say the grooming of children is beyond disturbing and should be highlighted as children are far more defenseless and I would never want to take away from this problem. If anything I just want to warn people of the possibility it can also happen to adults and the implications are also damaging. It’s been a year since I found out what was happening to me (grooming and severe stalking) and I do catch myself when I start blaming myself for what happened and when others also blame me it makes it so much worse. I hate this whole topic and the worst part about all of it is I didn’t ask for any of it. I have suffered immense consequences for even speaking out against my abuser because of his power. I’ve been through multiple therapists because they don’t know how to help me and this area is so “unique”……. it’s a mess. So again thank you for validating the reality I’ve found myself in and I know others have too as well as speaking up about the topic and it’s need for more research and recognition 🩷 a few kind words go a long way. Thank you 🙏🏻
One of the best videos talking about grooming. I have experience about grooming applied by human traffickers. I observed them and learned how that really works. I happened yo young and alder womans. They not always go directly with the girl, sometimes they start gaining the trust of the family. Some people don't have criteria and they trust in people just because are friendly and kind. They don't ask cuestions about their lives or investigate who they really are before trust on them
Another question to ask isn't just what do you have of value, but what does the Groomer have to lose. Narcissist & Psychopaths love control. To them the control they have can be the value. You could be a business rival, a romantic rival, a workplace rival. Their self-esteem may be linked to controlling you. Losing control of you may force them to look at aspects of themselves that they may not wish to. They could hold a grudge. They could be jealous. Resentful. There are countless things they value, that you yourself don't possess, but that they fear to lose.
I agree with this analysis and this could be helpful to realize-- to process and understand their motivations and the ramifications of leaving them. I believe that a lack of self-confidence and a lack of understanding yourself through your own eyes can be what keeps abuse survivors in cycles of abuse over and over again, even after they leave the first abuser. That is why I, personally, think realizing what you enjoy about yourself (in reference to yourself with yourself alone), instead of viewing everything in reference to the abuser, can be beneficial in the long run. Often times everything is in reference to the abuser in the abuse survivor's mind and that's also how the abuse survivor's identity becomes lost. But everything that you wrote is also true and accurate. Thanks for sharing
I have been watching predator shows for years trying to figure out my life I haven't understood how I let the guy take advantage of me as a kid your video is so relatable and insightful I wish you had a support group where I am I would definitely come😢😢😢😊😊
This is gold. I would include in the “no” their response demanding or repeated questioning WHY you are saying no. Why does this bother you, why are you saying no? “So I can understand”. This is a huge indicator to me.
My autistic friend is currently in the grips of an adult groomer (whos also a pedophile). He keeps her thin (she's beautiful, hes fat, old and ugly) and slowly has isolated her from friends and family. She's lost 35 lbs (she's 110 now)...she doesn't understand how doomed she is. He will eventually have a bunch of men take her to break her down further. What hes doing now is scary enough.
I know you can't do anything that's obvious, the manipulator is cleverer than us. All you can do is stay friends, watch quietly and watch for a good day to get her away from these guys.
That was excellent! Awesome explanation. I lived it. I relate. The brain fog and spiritual voodoo these people do is truly almost indescribable. You can be gone and incapable of recovering or seeing while being "tapped" by the demonic in these people. Your solutions and advice were excellent! God really will miraculously rescue us and lead us out if we depend on Him.
Another tip: Never trust someone who has laser-focus on making you like them. Getting to know someone and learning about them should come naturally at a pace that matches what you give away about yourself. The second someone starts dumping on you and prying for your life story - run. They are doing information reconnaissance. They do not care about you. They want to break your walls down and use your traumas and fears for personal gain.
What happens when you genuinely like someone but they say you groomed them? I’ve been questioning my whole love life now and it really feels like they manipulated me
wow thank u so much girl. I've been groomed all my life by man and I didn't even know about it. I'm 30 now and I can recognize these complex behaviors better but it's still challengin. What i have learned is to never alow them to make me doubt myself and be ready to leave even if it's hard cos ur attached. The longer u stay the worse it gets. The moment I feel like I'm questioning my own judgement is when I cut them off
Yes, I absolutely relate to this. This is where I still have to check in with my trusted friends / my plumb line for truth because my mind is still somewhat handicapped in this area with break ups. Keep practicing and keep learning, I believe in healing for all of us :-) Unlike what they try to convince us of-- you never have to go through your relationships /break-ups alone with them. We have friends for a reason
@@ehrensjournal True. But everything u said was eye opening 😭 It's hard to date. It's more common than we realize and the part u said they target compassionate people. I'm an empath I've e always attracted narcs n predators now I still find predators in my dating life it's exhausting. I just want to attract the right people.
@@secureboundaries Kind, emotionally healthy people are rare-- for the survivor community, as well. I think the greatest gift you can give yourself is the ability to be okay with being alone. We want emotionally healthy partners but sometimes we also aren't in an emotionally healthy place ourselves. It isn't good to "need" love, from anyone. I hope we all find partners but I also want to enjoy myself, as well.
fantastic video. You nailed it on the head when you talk about how you realized how you had felt empty after all the abuse and only then realized you suffered a great loss. Just went through this moment 10 years after my initial abuse and yeah, thats the moment that breaks you and changes everything.
wow as I continue watching the points just get more and more accurate. The idea of walking in a haze! You are completely trapped in your mind despite outwardly operating in the world.
This video really sheds light on how adults can get groomed to and how it is so normalized in our society. We need to make more videos and bring more awareness❤
Wow, Ehren, thank you SO much! This is one of the best videos I’ve seen. I just watched your story on Facebook and it brought me to your you tube channel. Your ability to communicate and share is incredible, especially after everything you’ve been through! I see someone in you who is so grounded and spiritually strong. It is both so empowering and beautiful to witness. Every second of this video has immense value!! I’ve been groomed a couple of times in my life and it has been so helpful to see this explained to such depth. I’ve definitely learned something new today xx much love!
Thank you so much for sharing this valuable information. It is like taking a valuable course in psychology. I am truly grateful and will keep this video in my files.
Thank YOU! Thank GOD!! This video gave me goosebumps. So chilling and informative as to what I’ve been dealing with for almost 5 years now. knowledge is power! Let’s keep learning, sharing, and growing in truth and love. 🙏🏽♥️
Thank you. This was so helpful, and validating. Your description was very accurate to what I've experienced which as you said is rather the opposite of what they say - that they make it all about you, and use pity ploys. I'm sorry you've been through this and thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your video. I've seen one of your other videos before and heard your experience. I can see you have put a lot of thought into analysing the objective and behaviour of manipulators. What you said, your analogy of the orange and how to value and protect yourself was useful. Thank you
I love your accent and your video. I've been in therapy twice a month for the last 8 months and I've only recently been able to comprehend I was preyed upon and groomed by my now ex fiancee, she was 2 years older than me and I was a naive homeschooled kid.
This was profound. 🎯 Subscribed. 😊✨ I appreciate your usage of visual languaging and examples. Those help me immensely. TH-cam is also one of my anchors lol. It's been a major element that's saved me more than once. I look forward to cruising through your videos like the YT addict I am 😂👍🏼.
Wow, this video helped put so many things into perspective for me. I had known these things but you stated the ideas so clearly thank you! I can't thank u enough This made me so emotional, hope i can heal soon, me and every innocent soul out there, we deserve better❤
I have watched hundreds of videos about narcissistic abuse and this is one of the best I have ever seen. Only a person who has been groomed by a master manipulator could have described it so perfectly. People who think adults can’t be groomed are badly mistaken. Your orange analogy is spot on. I was groomed for 3 years by a person and my whole life ended up destroyed. The only way I survived was by getting therapy and leaving the relationship forever. That was 20 years ago and I’m fine now. This video has been the best description of what happened to me. Thank you for your intelligent and very articulate way of helping people understand. I hope it will prevent others from being hurt. 🎉❤🎉
Hello, Ehren! I very much appreciated this video! I was looking into the topic of rape (it came up in my work recently) and I came accross this also. Thank you very much for putting it out here! 🙏🏻
Thank you so much. This was my life too. I agree on everything. New sub and shared. You know today is the first day I've cried in a while. I confronted today. Feeling a wee bit fragile😢Thank you and thank God. 🙏
This is amazing. You resonate!💗 I wondered if a situation in my life fit the criteria of having an “adult groomer,” and I needed to hear all of this 🤙Thank you - you’re doing God’s work!
12:20 The example with the briefing on how to rob the home successfully tickled me 😂 One of the best videos made to describe this kind of behavior. You broke the topic down in a very detailed manner and made it easy to understand. I think a lot of people will benefit from this ❤️ You’re saving lives!
I recenly was groomed online, and feel lost, i struggle to even tell my dad. but i reconised it and reached out and they helped me reconise it, looking back i feel like i was brainwashed
Your a legend, thanks so much for this video, I'm quite blown away and probably "triggered" by the world's largest lightbulb moment happening right now, but I am so appreciative of you and what you know about this stuff. I'm 42, it's been happening to me pretty much all my life, maybe starting at 10, then big time at 17, that's the grooming stuff. I was first molested when I was 6 by my 18 year old step brother. And of course abuse happened again and again and again, and still, the act of someone trying to groom me has just really hit me in a way like no other time. Probably also because I looked it up after having a very strange and upsetting experience this Friday just gone at a pool I work at. A man 30 years older than me did what I'm gonna call, on the spot quit gratification grooming ... Hahaha long title, what ever it was, I get it now, it's happened so much. I am so angry now, with myself, and with all the men who ever got away with it or even tried. My mum was a narcesestic bitch who had me trained well to cop alot of abuse and be manipulated way too easy. I thought there was something wrong with me for years because I didn't fight or flight... I am also so bloody glad that freeze and fawning are now recognised for what they are. I'm abit afraid of myself atm, I'm so angry. So bloody angry. 🙏🙏🙏
I checked and I only have apples ... (Just kidding ... Great video and ty for sharing + articulating a perspective that parallels the concept of sociopathic behavior we should all be taught to be wary of..)
Thank you. I met a man last year at my job. And he had become a close friend. Then he started dropping these " imma marry you one day" even tho I wasn't wanting a relationship n told him so. Love bombed me big time. He did all these things! Turns out he was an SO and I dodged a bullet!
The burglar metaphor is great as well as the house tour. Do you get emotional transference with these people? When they’re lying and trying to pull off a scam, they get really nervous. The tells are really important too. I saw so many tells with the predators and seeing them flesh out over time. I knew what they were without knowing what they were planning.
as of being a 20-year-old man and being manipulated by someone who just told me to talk to a girl it really created a pawn in the game of chess where you are the losing team. The aftermath was the last straw from my groomer is that I was trying to chat with my friend and then the person said "Hey come here, and just kept telling me. "Alcohol has helped get people laid" and I keep telling him I live sober and I like people that are not on any substances and it's really fucked up. I really was thinking when I turn 21 he wants me to start drinking and doing other shit I know is against the law and it is when you are in a vehicle. One of my neighbors is a very manipulative person and the person that is my next-door neighbor was siding with him and he was just drunk and had nothing to do with it and just laughing about the situation the guy that lives 3 doors away from me and brushed it off like said "I'm just messing with you" and I felt like when my friend got back I wanted to talk to him but I know that the person just is an asshole for wasting my personal life and time for wanting to talk to my friend. When I got home I felt like I was the one at fault and when I told my dad he understood something was up when I told him what happened. My friend drove off on me and I was so upset at this guy for getting into my life and he did not let me hang out with my friend when he needed a chat with me. I love being a man that is committed to being sober and staying away from everything because it makes me feel lots of freedom and safety.
Hell no, that was not only ok, but is a BIG RED FLAG to avoid that person forever. Very important. Never ever be with that person again alone or with people who would not protect you if he would do something nasty. Btw. Leaving and 100% no contact can set people up. Be aware 100% of that, so avoid that person from now on. If he calls you, say you have no time for any people right now and for the next months. No explanation needed. Say to him, thanks for hanging out together, but now you need to work something. A 30 year old who is with a 18 year old in any way, shape, form is anyway A RED FLAG. A 30 year old wants to build up a life with a full grown woman of his age or 3 years younger. Why? Because at that age, serious men want to build a family, a life..., where 2 adult people are essential to build it up. Work very hard, buy a house, this and that. Men like that who groom girls like you want something else, where you will be dragged down and thrown away, when they meet that adult woman. You are a toy to them, a pass time and a sexual challenge. A serious man does not even lose time with a woman of 18 years old, when he is 30 years old. At that age men have other priorities in life. If not, they are hunters who want to play and prey with no intention for a solud real life. No responsability either. Con men. You are young, but maybe you understand some video's i advice you to follow on youtube and maybe you want to buy the books too. Tony Gaskins. R.C. Blakes jr. 2 men, who know how man are, the good ones, the better ones, the nastier ones to avoid and they teach women to be as wise as possible in regard to men, life, work and so on, to empower them. To guide them thru life with so much dangers. Please watch them...or better bingue watch them and buy the books. R.C. Blakes or both have written a book that is titled> THE FATHER- DAUGHTER TALK. IF you want also to follow a woman on toxic people, relationships, see>>> Dr. Ramani Durvasula. If you want to learn how to not destroy relationships that seem ok, read all books written by>> John Gottman. Please, please, remember, your time and your life matters, like anyone elses, so do not LOSE IT ON people, who are just not right and good to you. Remember, you change also, into worse or better, depending what you experience and so on. Oooh, i forgot also a very important book, written by Gavin De Becker 'THE GIFT OF FEAR'. This book saves lifes. Reading books is so valuable, to educate you. P.S. focus on you and your studies, work, save money, maybe start a little business, save to buy a house, maybe even for off grid purpises, a plot land to grow your own food, just do not let you take your time away. This things are right now to important. Learn how to survive at all time. Finding a partner, the RIGHT partner for you and YOU for that special boy is one of the most important things in life. Choose very, vety, very wisely who that person might be. Do not and i mean DO NOT GIVE YOUR BODY AWAY. EVER JUST LIKE THAT. Only to the one who really DESERVES you for LIFE, until both of you are old TOGETHER! CHOOSE YOU, and see what kind of father you want for your baby, child, dog, cat, and so on. Life is for you and the vulnerable children allready hard enough with a caring, loving, trustworthy respinsable father and mother. Even, if you think or say right now...oooh but i do not want kids or maybe 1 day. I do not see much women who did not want kids, who where NOT pregnant at some point in life. With all consequences... Young lady, i am allready an older woman and i hope you just choose wisely and i hope you read or watch the right things to help you out, for making hopefully better life choices with men/women and everything. Meanwhile do not forget you are young and your life is now also. Kind regards and please, please, please, be safe out there. Do never be with a man alone and allways in public seeing them in plain daylight. Never after night falls. It has to be at day, not evening. Never give your adress, contacts your full name, facebook name, etc. Only e- mail. Also for some proof, if someone has no good intentions, for police records and so on. Never let a man pick you up at your place and never go to his place. Meet only in public, where a lot of people are, preferally with someone you can trust, like a sister, brother. Groomers want you to isolate you and be in private with you and of course..., that way you are allways vulnerable and basically they can do whatever they want and cause ptsd and so on, if they try with you something. Men are stronger. I allways advice to learn kick- boxing, selfdefence tactics and so on. Never bring your life, yourself, body, mind in a position, where someone has more power over you. Nature is beautiful, but very hard too and yes...also ugly. So preserve yourself from shite. Take your time to know eachother in face time and allways in publik. Eat ice cream somewhere in public. Nothing expensive and bring your lunch! That's easy! Not costing much. Never let a man pay you for anything, only ice cream! No gifts, money, etc. Provide for yourself. No alcohol whatsoever, no drugs ever. Be awake, alert, quick in reacting, so no drugs/alcohol of any kind. Only drink from your bottle, that was closed and never leave it 1 minute or second alone, not even to go to the ladies room. Do not ask if HE can watch it for you. Allways be independent from how you get there! Own your car and parke it somewhere safe, with him not knowing it ( do not be an open book ). I sound like a mother or big sister now, but i just felt the urge to say it anyway. English is not my language, so i hope i did my best. Maybe my post is long and you just wonder, how the heck...! Take care lady. Kind regards from Belgium.
I randomly decided to Google you because of the video of you at the Senate that I saw as I was flicking through your videos. I assumed you were an academic of some sort and I was surprised to learn that actually you were a model. Which is a little too on the nose that the first adult grooming video I find on here is made by someone who had the same profession as my two groomers. It’s almost a funny little sign lol thank you for making this video because im still going back and forth about whether my experience was just dealing with not so nice people or that I was in fact abused. This did help me figure it out a little more but im still a little but in denial. Regardless great video ❤
Haha that's so strange. That industry attracts narcissists and people saturated with personality disorders so it's not surprising that both they and I were in it at all haha If you want even more closure, look up videos by Sam Vaknin on TH-cam. Specifically the 2 hour lecture he just did called "Fantasy Lives of Narcissists and Borderlines" with Richard Grannon in Budapest. His entire TH-cam channel has caused me to reframe what I understand about myself and the people around me-- very insightful stuff 👍
9:36 "I find the hole that they have filled and become it." People really need healing before they start dating.
Yes. Many people date in order to find healing, they do not heal in order to be able to date.
@@ehrensjournal This is unrelated to the topic of the video.
I want to ask:
CAN I BOOK YOU as a coach to become skinny?
@@ehrensjournal Grooming isn't even an accurate word to use ffs. That mostly only applies to children, not adults. That would be like saying that a child can become an adult at age 12 or 15. If anything, this is more like a human trafficking story, not a grooming situation.
Start with amphetamin 150mg a day and you will be skinny (: @@Yomomma-jf9iy
I found an amazing man without having healed before getting together with him. I had CPTSD and what you are doing is gaslighting people who haven't healed into believing that they can never have a healthy relationship.
grooming is essentially committing trust fraud
I'm so glad you made this vid. It doesn't just happen to kids. I've had guys and even some women try to give me things for free or help pay for things because they knew I was struggling financially or sometimes is depressed only to find sexual intent later. Very sick and disingenuous of someone to do. These adults also prey on the neurodivergent community
That's exactly what this guy did to me. He bought me a used washing machine because I needed one and was recovering from surgery. I didn't know he was gay. When I confronted him he ran out my door and left town.
"The spirit knows" 100%
Covert narcissism. It is rife in society and goes mostly unchecked. It is a complex subject given the type of people these narcissists are.
the undercurrents are roaring
Ahhh, so helpful, I'm 23 and currently I'm dealing with this, a man of 59 trying to manipulate me continiously, i feel super suspicions about being manipulated by this man, so i searched and found almost exactly what you r saying, actually I'm virgin and never had a boyfriend and he knows that the worst part is he is my dad most trusted friend😑 but, now im gonna woop his ass out of my personal space 💀
That is so gross, how narcissistic do you have to be to think you could get a woman who could be your daughter? Ugh sounds like a predator for sure
A 23 year old can’t be ‘groomed’, you’re a fucking adult.
A 23 year old is an adult. Stop wanting to be a victim so bad.
Grooming is when someone says ‘here is some ice cream in my van’ to trick a 6 year old. Grooming isn’t an older man dating a woman in her early 20’s..
@@AlcoholDrinker he may not be purposely grooming her but any time there is a power difference or an age difference between two people, the one in power or older one is preying upon the younger or weaker one. A healthy man (or woman) would want to be with someone closer to their own age.
Online grooming for adults is so real.
How???
@@Chris-bs4qy There's online videos for it. You could just do your own research.🤦🏾♂
@@Tito_the_fish you could say this counts as research
@@Chris-bs4qy I clearly didn't so what's your point?👂🏾
@@Tito_the_fish it's not grooming in an adult context, it's just pure manipulation. Sometimes grooming can be a good thing too, a son is groomed to take over a job of his father
I feel like a piece of crap we always know who we are. I gave up so much of myself. This is a toxic society
This is the best explanation I have come across. I am working towards living in a van. Yesterday, I watched a video of a solo young woman traveler attempt to boondock in an isolated section of the desert in Arizona where she was approached by a predator. I felt anger while watching her give all her oranges away and then stuck around for round two. She was so lucky he had self control, even if it was just barely.
We women struggle with protecting ourselves. Our societal grooming began as soon as we were old enough to communicate. We're supposed to be nice and inviting. Polite. We're not supposed to say no or tell a man we aren't interested if it will crush his ego or make him mad. We were taught that we are responsible for a man's behavior while also being told that we must appeal to a man's senses.
They also encourage women to be sexually appealing and not be mad at a man if he sexually assaults us.
We’re literally dangling fresh meat in front of his face and getting mad when he takes it!
Women do not have to be super sexualized or super pretty all the time.
It leads to people thinking we want them to try to take sex from us.
Relax & look messy for once ❤
Stay safe ladies
“Your spirit knows the truth before the mind does, and the information about narcs and psychopaths help you figure it out”
I love the idea of using orange analogy to help kids understand when they're being manipulated. Thanks
Sometimes the simple things really help get a point across.
You were fortunate enough to learn about this early in life, narcissists. It’s unfortunate that you had to learn about this. I was married to a Narc for 12 years before I couldn’t take the abuse anymore. I had no idea what had happened to me or what was happening to me. I let that psycho control me for years, about 16, before I figured out how to make it stop. I only discovered what a Narc was about 3 years ago. God put a bunch of Narcissist videos in my TH-cam feed and I finally watched one, I was in shock after binge watching a bunch. I learned a lot about what she did to me and how it was still affecting me. I am very thankful that God put Alicia in my life. Keep fighting the good fight, stay strong.
Thanks for sharing your story. 16 years is a long time and a lot of brainwashing to undo. Good on you. I think the people who do educational videos on narcs almost literally save someone life sometimes.
Maybe the algorithm not so bad
This is more like a human trafficking story, not a grooming story. Don't get things confused.
My sis stayed with my aunt, most of high school, my aunt was married to a sicko, my aunt knew we didn't. So my aunt marries off all the girls under house one by one. For my sis, she finds her a narcissist psycho, who i have a feeling recognize each other, like psychopaths recognize each other....anyway, my sis is cheated on w multiple women a year by this narc psych and he is really good a grooming women and young women...but my sis doesnt see this, she gets angry, leaves and comes.back to him every single time. So she got married at 18, shes still with him almost 50, 4 kids, she pushed her mom us siblings away since marrying this sicko, basically brainwashed her thinking, now shes lost 4ever from us, nothing can be done...
I looked this topic up because I was groomed by my recent ex boss that was illegally recording me in the bathroom and stalking me. After everything came to light I realized he groomed me the whole 6 years I worked for him. I commented on one of the videos talking about the Coleen ballenger (Miranda sings) video talking about grooming and shared some of my situation and was attacked because they said I was using the word disrespectfully and “throwing it around” which takes a way from children that see groomed. I tried explaining how grooming children is much worse even though in my situation it has almost ruined my life but didn’t want to type out the whole story. These people attacked me making me feel worse. I didn’t ask for what happened to me but after many attempts to explain not only children can be groomed my comment was deleted and it really hurt me so thank you for making this video!
adult sexual grooming is said not to exist just because there is almost no empirical study about it. it's totally unfair. we need inductive and bottom-up approaches to prevent abuses and victim blamings in the light of adult sexual grooming.
@@kiichiroota2240 thank you! I have been put through hell and back with what happened to me and because of who my boss is he was let off with the lightest sentence ever and the amount of people that blamed me for continuing to work with him or not see the warning signs is awful. He promised me his whole practice once I finished law school and threatened me if I tried to quit. He got to know my family and me and used the lack of support I had against me to manipulate me for his own sexual needs by filming me in the bathroom at work and stalking me. I will admit those saying adult grooming doesn’t happen added salt to the wound with people not acknowledging it’s a possibility. Obviously I wouldn’t compare it to grooming children because that is a whole other level of evil but it does happen and unfortunately I’m proof of that. Thank you for your comment you have no idea how much it means to me 🩷 I would love to find a support group or something but it’s not widely talked about and so I like many will work through it the best I can and apparently make random comments on TH-cam hoping to spread awareness.
I have been groomed as an adult three times only just coming to terms with this now ...the first one was over 38 years ago now ...its real
@@AngelFace-fu2uv I’m so sorry that happened to you! Thank you for speaking up! I’ve literally been attacked for saying I was groomed, which is exactly what happened, by a man old enough to be my father yet I am in my 30s so I have been blamed for taking away from actual grooming done to children. It’s awful and I truly am sorry you know what I’m talking about. I’m glad you are finally coming to terms with it. Mine just happened March 2023, that’s when I found out about it, and I’ve made progress but had no idea how difficult this would be. There are so many layers to it that dissecting them all is proving to be difficult. My heart goes out to you 🩷
@@kiichiroota2240 thank you! I am beyond grateful for your comment 🩷 I literally tried reaching out on the topic for some validation of what I experienced with others that I hoped knew what I was talking about but was shamed for taking away from “actual grooming” that is done to children. Even Google shows grooming as the manipulation of children which doesn’t help whatsoever. There definitely needs to be more research or even focus on grooming of adults too. I will say the grooming of children is beyond disturbing and should be highlighted as children are far more defenseless and I would never want to take away from this problem. If anything I just want to warn people of the possibility it can also happen to adults and the implications are also damaging. It’s been a year since I found out what was happening to me (grooming and severe stalking) and I do catch myself when I start blaming myself for what happened and when others also blame me it makes it so much worse. I hate this whole topic and the worst part about all of it is I didn’t ask for any of it. I have suffered immense consequences for even speaking out against my abuser because of his power. I’ve been through multiple therapists because they don’t know how to help me and this area is so “unique”……. it’s a mess. So again thank you for validating the reality I’ve found myself in and I know others have too as well as speaking up about the topic and it’s need for more research and recognition 🩷 a few kind words go a long way. Thank you 🙏🏻
One of the best videos talking about grooming.
I have experience about grooming applied by human traffickers. I observed them and learned how that really works. I happened yo young and alder womans.
They not always go directly with the girl, sometimes they start gaining the trust of the family. Some people don't have criteria and they trust in people just because are friendly and kind. They don't ask cuestions about their lives or investigate who they really are before trust on them
Yes, many people are taught to think that only kind people are kind
@@ehrensjournal Manipulative Human Traffickers Try to Gain The Socially Naive Family's Trust of That Peculiar Victim 🔥
agree!
Love it! So well explained! I have been groomed by two people, I had gut feeling, now you’re validating all I’m feeling.
You mean sexually abused? Grooming and human trafficking are 2 different things in the same category, but they aren't the same thing.
Another question to ask isn't just what do you have of value, but what does the Groomer have to lose. Narcissist & Psychopaths love control. To them the control they have can be the value. You could be a business rival, a romantic rival, a workplace rival. Their self-esteem may be linked to controlling you. Losing control of you may force them to look at aspects of themselves that they may not wish to. They could hold a grudge. They could be jealous. Resentful. There are countless things they value, that you yourself don't possess, but that they fear to lose.
I agree with this analysis and this could be helpful to realize-- to process and understand their motivations and the ramifications of leaving them.
I believe that a lack of self-confidence and a lack of understanding yourself through your own eyes can be what keeps abuse survivors in cycles of abuse over and over again, even after they leave the first abuser. That is why I, personally, think realizing what you enjoy about yourself (in reference to yourself with yourself alone), instead of viewing everything in reference to the abuser, can be beneficial in the long run.
Often times everything is in reference to the abuser in the abuse survivor's mind and that's also how the abuse survivor's identity becomes lost.
But everything that you wrote is also true and accurate. Thanks for sharing
I have been watching predator shows for years trying to figure out my life I haven't understood how I let the guy take advantage of me as a kid your video is so relatable and insightful I wish you had a support group where I am I would definitely come😢😢😢😊😊
You didnt "let" him do anything, he wasnt a guy he was a predator, in the wild do the prey animals "let" the predators catch them?
Yes, the grace of God is why I'm here, not out of my mind & have been as safe as I have been. I was surrounded by wolves most of my life.
Yes. Not letting them make us bitter is the next prayer I pray for myself after surviving them.
This is gold. I would include in the “no” their response demanding or repeated questioning WHY you are saying no. Why does this bother you, why are you saying no? “So I can understand”. This is a huge indicator to me.
My autistic friend is currently in the grips of an adult groomer (whos also a pedophile). He keeps her thin (she's beautiful, hes fat, old and ugly) and slowly has isolated her from friends and family. She's lost 35 lbs (she's 110 now)...she doesn't understand how doomed she is. He will eventually have a bunch of men take her to break her down further. What hes doing now is scary enough.
Call adult protective services
please call your local emergency hotline!
How are you a friend if you aren't doing anything to help?
I know you can't do anything that's obvious, the manipulator is cleverer than us. All you can do is stay friends, watch quietly and watch for a good day to get her away from these guys.
@@johnvincent1088 You are making excuses. Doing nothing about this is WRONG.
That was excellent! Awesome explanation. I lived it. I relate. The brain fog and spiritual voodoo these people do is truly almost indescribable. You can be gone and incapable of recovering or seeing while being "tapped" by the demonic in these people. Your solutions and advice were excellent! God really will miraculously rescue us and lead us out if we depend on Him.
Spiritual voodoo is a great description. They will destroy you spiritually if you don’t get away from them.
Yes! The mind games are really otherworldly. Master manipulators.
Another tip: Never trust someone who has laser-focus on making you like them. Getting to know someone and learning about them should come naturally at a pace that matches what you give away about yourself. The second someone starts dumping on you and prying for your life story - run. They are doing information reconnaissance. They do not care about you. They want to break your walls down and use your traumas and fears for personal gain.
What happens when you genuinely like someone but they say you groomed them? I’ve been questioning my whole love life now and it really feels like they manipulated me
Maybe they applied reversed psychology on you. Accusing you of what they did to you.
wow thank u so much girl. I've been groomed all my life by man and I didn't even know about it. I'm 30 now and I can recognize these complex behaviors better but it's still challengin. What i have learned is to never alow them to make me doubt myself and be ready to leave even if it's hard cos ur attached. The longer u stay the worse it gets. The moment I feel like I'm questioning my own judgement is when I cut them off
Yes, I absolutely relate to this. This is where I still have to check in with my trusted friends / my plumb line for truth because my mind is still somewhat handicapped in this area with break ups. Keep practicing and keep learning, I believe in healing for all of us :-) Unlike what they try to convince us of-- you never have to go through your relationships /break-ups alone with them. We have friends for a reason
@@ehrensjournal True. But everything u said was eye opening 😭 It's hard to date. It's more common than we realize and the part u said they target compassionate people. I'm an empath I've e always attracted narcs n predators now I still find predators in my dating life it's exhausting. I just want to attract the right people.
@@ehrensjournal Can I share your video on tiktok? I would like to spread awareness.
@@secureboundaries Kind, emotionally healthy people are rare-- for the survivor community, as well. I think the greatest gift you can give yourself is the ability to be okay with being alone. We want emotionally healthy partners but sometimes we also aren't in an emotionally healthy place ourselves. It isn't good to "need" love, from anyone. I hope we all find partners but I also want to enjoy myself, as well.
@@secureboundaries Sure, just leave a link to my TH-cam somehow
fantastic video. You nailed it on the head when you talk about how you realized how you had felt empty after all the abuse and only then realized you suffered a great loss. Just went through this moment 10 years after my initial abuse and yeah, thats the moment that breaks you and changes everything.
wow as I continue watching the points just get more and more accurate. The idea of walking in a haze! You are completely trapped in your mind despite outwardly operating in the world.
This video really sheds light on how adults can get groomed to and how it is so normalized in our society. We need to make more videos and bring more awareness❤
I agree with you so many people resent your happiness. Keep it to yourself it's a envious world that wants whatever you have. Whatever!
Wow, Ehren, thank you SO much! This is one of the best videos I’ve seen. I just watched your story on Facebook and it brought me to your you tube channel. Your ability to communicate and share is incredible, especially after everything you’ve been through! I see someone in you who is so grounded and spiritually strong. It is both so empowering and beautiful to witness. Every second of this video has immense value!! I’ve been groomed a couple of times in my life and it has been so helpful to see this explained to such depth. I’ve definitely learned something new today xx much love!
Thank you so much for shining your light on this subject.
I appreciate you so much..
This is incredible information stated so well! Thank you!!!
This is an outstanding, detailed explanation. Thank you for helping others.
Ohhhhh thank you 🙏
I needed to hear this
I’m being groomed and I’m running up the mountains with all my oranges now ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for sharing this valuable information. It is like taking a valuable course in psychology. I am truly grateful and will keep this video in my files.
Thank YOU! Thank GOD!! This video gave me goosebumps. So chilling and informative as to what I’ve been dealing with for almost 5 years now. knowledge is power! Let’s keep learning, sharing, and growing in truth and love. 🙏🏽♥️
This video was super insightful! Very applicable to all parts of life as well. Knowing your value is a skill that is always useful!
Thank you, great info for everyone and anyone...eye opener for sure! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. This was so helpful, and validating. Your description was very accurate to what I've experienced which as you said is rather the opposite of what they say - that they make it all about you, and use pity ploys. I'm sorry you've been through this and thank you for sharing.
I'm glad that this could be helpful for you
Great analogies and great insights. God bless!
Thank you so much for this 💗 Very helpful!
Awesome explanation Thank you Ehran
Thank you for your video. I've seen one of your other videos before and heard your experience. I can see you have put a lot of thought into analysing the objective and behaviour of manipulators. What you said, your analogy of the orange and how to value and protect yourself was useful. Thank you
"Knowing the value of the orange". That was so point on. Bless you for this video. Brilliant
I love your accent and your video.
I've been in therapy twice a month for the last 8 months and I've only recently been able to comprehend I was preyed upon and groomed by my now ex fiancee, she was 2 years older than me and I was a naive homeschooled kid.
Hey there , fantastic video, you have really opened my eyes thank you so much 😊
This was profound. 🎯 Subscribed. 😊✨ I appreciate your usage of visual languaging and examples. Those help me immensely. TH-cam is also one of my anchors lol. It's been a major element that's saved me more than once. I look forward to cruising through your videos like the YT addict I am 😂👍🏼.
Wow, this video helped put so many things into perspective for me. I had known these things but you stated the ideas so clearly thank you! I can't thank u enough
This made me so emotional, hope i can heal soon, me and every innocent soul out there, we deserve better❤
I have watched hundreds of videos about narcissistic abuse and this is one of the best I have ever seen. Only a person who has been groomed by a master manipulator could have described it so perfectly. People who think adults can’t be groomed are badly mistaken. Your orange analogy is spot on. I was groomed for 3 years by a person and my whole life ended up destroyed. The only way I survived was by getting therapy and leaving the relationship forever. That was 20 years ago and I’m fine now. This video has been the best description of what happened to me. Thank you for your intelligent and very articulate way of helping people understand. I hope it will prevent others from being hurt. 🎉❤🎉
My therapist is the one who groomed me. Even they are not always safe.
Excellent talk ...should be shown to pre teens in school ...thank you
This was incredibly helpful. Thank you so much Ehren 💞
Glad it could help
Thanks for sharing this. Needed to hear this
I've had problems with this before...its so frustrating.
Ive literally had someone lie to me about their identity for this reason. Awful.
Hello, Ehren! I very much appreciated this video! I was looking into the topic of rape (it came up in my work recently) and I came accross this also. Thank you very much for putting it out here! 🙏🏻
Thank you so much. This was my life too. I agree on everything. New sub and shared. You know today is the first day I've cried in a while. I confronted today. Feeling a wee bit fragile😢Thank you and thank God. 🙏
You will continue to get stronger and I believe that your journey of healing will be a success. You got this
Hope you're feeling better! We are stronger than we think!
Amazing talk!!! Wow!! Thank you 🙏
Great analogy. Love it.
This is amazing. You resonate!💗 I wondered if a situation in my life fit the criteria of having an “adult groomer,” and I needed to hear all of this 🤙Thank you - you’re doing God’s work!
I just want to thank you for this video ❤
Yep boundries rehearse =plum line
12:20 The example with the briefing on how to rob the home successfully tickled me 😂
One of the best videos made to describe this kind of behavior. You broke the topic down in a very detailed manner and made it easy to understand. I think a lot of people will benefit from this ❤️ You’re saving lives!
I tended to oversharing myself too ! 🤦♀️
@@Catherine_Dana happens to the best of us 😂 We’re only trying to educate others 🙃
GOD bless U for making and sharing this video. ❤
I needed this video so much. Thank yoU!!
Thank God for this video I am going through it, but this speaks directly to me.
Thank you for doing this
This video made me realize that I had actually been groomed. Thankfully I’m no longer in contact with that person.
Thank you for sharing this.
Awesome 👌 👏 video on this and you communicate all of it so well while being yourself 😊, love it!
Your orange’s 🍊 break down helped so much ! Thank you for this video 🙏🏽 😊
What does she mean by oranges???
What does oranges mean?
i know it may sound weird but i miss my groomer, his name was seven labosky. i was groomed by him nearly a year ago.
That's not weird, that's super common, I discuss that in my video on Craving and Relapse
I get it
Thank you for this.
Thank you for this
This video is great and up to point.
👏🏼👏🏼thank you so much this is so true
Your content is great for the younger generation, I m glad I m 50 years old.
This was very insightful
I recenly was groomed online, and feel lost, i struggle to even tell my dad. but i reconised it and reached out and they helped me reconise it, looking back i feel like i was brainwashed
Such great info. Killin it
Amen, God is always the " life saving" plumb line. Excellent message and informational video....❤
Your a legend, thanks so much for this video, I'm quite blown away and probably "triggered" by the world's largest lightbulb moment happening right now, but I am so appreciative of you and what you know about this stuff. I'm 42, it's been happening to me pretty much all my life, maybe starting at 10, then big time at 17, that's the grooming stuff. I was first molested when I was 6 by my 18 year old step brother. And of course abuse happened again and again and again, and still, the act of someone trying to groom me has just really hit me in a way like no other time. Probably also because I looked it up after having a very strange and upsetting experience this Friday just gone at a pool I work at. A man 30 years older than me did what I'm gonna call, on the spot quit gratification grooming ... Hahaha long title, what ever it was, I get it now, it's happened so much. I am so angry now, with myself, and with all the men who ever got away with it or even tried. My mum was a narcesestic bitch who had me trained well to cop alot of abuse and be manipulated way too easy. I thought there was something wrong with me for years because I didn't fight or flight... I am also so bloody glad that freeze and fawning are now recognised for what they are. I'm abit afraid of myself atm, I'm so angry. So bloody angry. 🙏🙏🙏
I checked and I only have apples ... (Just kidding ... Great video and ty for sharing + articulating a perspective that parallels the concept of sociopathic behavior we should all be taught to be wary of..)
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻 direct from Brazil 🇧🇷
Excellent take on a toxic person!!
YES YES YES!!! They keep asking after you've said no.
thank you for your videos!
Thank you. I met a man last year at my job. And he had become a close friend. Then he started dropping these " imma marry you one day" even tho I wasn't wanting a relationship n told him so. Love bombed me big time. He did all these things! Turns out he was an SO and I dodged a bullet!
Very important topic!
The burglar metaphor is great as well as the house tour.
Do you get emotional transference with these people? When they’re lying and trying to pull off a scam, they get really nervous. The tells are really important too. I saw so many tells with the predators and seeing them flesh out over time. I knew what they were without knowing what they were planning.
Thanks for sharing this!
This video is pure gold
Excellent video 💯
Wow thanks so much for your immense value!! This has helped me deeply to understand and find clarity within my healing journey 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
Love the orange analogy.
Spot on. When you ask God to show you, he will. It's crazy how people will lie.
Thank you
as of being a 20-year-old man and being manipulated by someone who just told me to talk to a girl it really created a pawn in the game of chess where you are the losing team. The aftermath was the last straw from my groomer is that I was trying to chat with my friend and then the person said "Hey come here, and just kept telling me. "Alcohol has helped get people laid" and I keep telling him I live sober and I like people that are not on any substances and it's really fucked up. I really was thinking when I turn 21 he wants me to start drinking and doing other shit I know is against the law and it is when you are in a vehicle. One of my neighbors is a very manipulative person and the person that is my next-door neighbor was siding with him and he was just drunk and had nothing to do with it and just laughing about the situation the guy that lives 3 doors away from me and brushed it off like said "I'm just messing with you" and I felt like when my friend got back I wanted to talk to him but I know that the person just is an asshole for wasting my personal life and time for wanting to talk to my friend. When I got home I felt like I was the one at fault and when I told my dad he understood something was up when I told him what happened. My friend drove off on me and I was so upset at this guy for getting into my life and he did not let me hang out with my friend when he needed a chat with me. I love being a man that is committed to being sober and staying away from everything because it makes me feel lots of freedom and safety.
Good information./insight.
Thank you!!! ❤🥹🤗
Thank you❤
Awesome video!!
Wow, what a great explanation, thank you making this
i had just turned 18 and he was 30, he liked that i was scared. i just need someone to tell me that it wasnt okay
It wasn’t okay and you will come out of this stronger 🤗
Hell no, that was not only ok, but is a BIG RED FLAG to avoid that person forever.
Very important.
Never ever be with that person again alone or with people who would not protect you if he would do something nasty.
Btw.
Leaving and 100% no contact can set people up. Be aware 100% of that, so avoid that person from now on.
If he calls you, say you have no time for any people right now and for the next months. No explanation needed.
Say to him, thanks for hanging out together, but now you need to work something.
A 30 year old who is with a 18 year old in any way, shape, form is anyway A RED FLAG.
A 30 year old wants to build up a life with a full grown woman of his age or 3 years younger. Why? Because at that age, serious men want to build a family, a life..., where 2 adult people are essential to build it up. Work very hard, buy a house, this and that.
Men like that who groom girls like you want something else, where you will be dragged down and thrown away, when they meet that adult woman.
You are a toy to them, a pass time and a sexual challenge.
A serious man does not even lose time with a woman of 18 years old, when he is 30 years old. At that age men have other priorities in life. If not, they are hunters who want to play and prey with no intention for a solud real life. No responsability either. Con men.
You are young, but maybe you understand some video's i advice you to follow on youtube and maybe you want to buy the books too.
Tony Gaskins.
R.C. Blakes jr.
2 men, who know how man are, the good ones, the better ones, the nastier ones to avoid and they teach women to be as wise as possible in regard to men, life, work and so on, to empower them. To guide them thru life with so much dangers.
Please watch them...or better bingue watch them and buy the books.
R.C. Blakes or both have written a book that is titled> THE FATHER- DAUGHTER TALK.
IF you want also to follow a woman on toxic people, relationships, see>>>
Dr. Ramani Durvasula.
If you want to learn how to not destroy relationships that seem ok, read all books written by>>
John Gottman.
Please, please, remember, your time and your life matters, like anyone elses, so do not LOSE IT ON people, who are just not right and good to you.
Remember, you change also, into worse or better, depending what you experience and so on.
Oooh, i forgot also a very important book, written by Gavin De Becker 'THE GIFT OF FEAR'.
This book saves lifes.
Reading books is so valuable, to educate you.
P.S. focus on you and your studies, work, save money, maybe start a little business, save to buy a house, maybe even for off grid purpises, a plot land to grow your own food, just do not let you take your time away. This things are right now to important. Learn how to survive at all time.
Finding a partner, the RIGHT partner for you and YOU for that special boy is one of the most important things in life. Choose very, vety, very wisely who that person might be.
Do not and i mean DO NOT GIVE YOUR BODY AWAY. EVER JUST LIKE THAT.
Only to the one who really DESERVES you for LIFE, until both of you are old TOGETHER!
CHOOSE YOU, and see what kind of father you want for your baby, child, dog, cat, and so on.
Life is for you and the vulnerable children allready hard enough with a caring, loving, trustworthy respinsable father and mother.
Even, if you think or say right now...oooh but i do not want kids or maybe 1 day.
I do not see much women who did not want kids, who where NOT pregnant at some point in life. With all consequences...
Young lady, i am allready an older woman and i hope you just choose wisely and i hope you read or watch the right things to help you out, for making hopefully better life choices with men/women and everything.
Meanwhile do not forget you are young and your life is now also.
Kind regards and please, please, please, be safe out there.
Do never be with a man alone and allways in public seeing them in plain daylight. Never after night falls. It has to be at day, not evening.
Never give your adress, contacts your full name, facebook name, etc. Only e- mail. Also for some proof, if someone has no good intentions, for police records and so on. Never let a man pick you up at your place and never go to his place. Meet only in public, where a lot of people are, preferally with someone you can trust, like a sister, brother. Groomers want you to isolate you and be in private with you and of course..., that way you are allways vulnerable and basically they can do whatever they want and cause ptsd and so on, if they try with you something. Men are stronger. I allways advice to learn kick- boxing, selfdefence tactics and so on.
Never bring your life, yourself, body, mind in a position, where someone has more power over you.
Nature is beautiful, but very hard too and yes...also ugly. So preserve yourself from shite.
Take your time to know eachother in face time and allways in publik. Eat ice cream somewhere in public. Nothing expensive and bring your lunch! That's easy! Not costing much. Never let a man pay you for anything, only ice cream! No gifts, money, etc. Provide for yourself. No alcohol whatsoever, no drugs ever. Be awake, alert, quick in reacting, so no drugs/alcohol of any kind. Only drink from your bottle, that was closed and never leave it 1 minute or second alone, not even to go to the ladies room. Do not ask if HE can watch it for you. Allways be independent from how you get there! Own your car and parke it somewhere safe, with him not knowing it ( do not be an open book ). I sound like a mother or big sister now, but i just felt the urge to say it anyway.
English is not my language, so i hope i did my best.
Maybe my post is long and you just wonder, how the heck...!
Take care lady.
Kind regards from Belgium.
18 is an adult. You really seem to be a victim so badly.
*want to be
I randomly decided to Google you because of the video of you at the Senate that I saw as I was flicking through your videos. I assumed you were an academic of some sort and I was surprised to learn that actually you were a model. Which is a little too on the nose that the first adult grooming video I find on here is made by someone who had the same profession as my two groomers. It’s almost a funny little sign lol thank you for making this video because im still going back and forth about whether my experience was just dealing with not so nice people or that I was in fact abused. This did help me figure it out a little more but im still a little but in denial. Regardless great video ❤
Haha that's so strange. That industry attracts narcissists and people saturated with personality disorders so it's not surprising that both they and I were in it at all haha If you want even more closure, look up videos by Sam Vaknin on TH-cam. Specifically the 2 hour lecture he just did called "Fantasy Lives of Narcissists and Borderlines" with Richard Grannon in Budapest.
His entire TH-cam channel has caused me to reframe what I understand about myself and the people around me-- very insightful stuff 👍
Also videos on Enmeshment by Jerry Wise Relationship Systems are rocking my world right now ✌ stay well