My narcissistic husband (soon to be ex) did not give me gifts for Xmas, birthday, anniversary or any other special occasion but had no problem opening gifts I had given him while I watched with no gift or presents from him. Nor did he help in any way with preparations for holidays. Today, I cannot stand even the thought of him and have no desire to ever see his face or hear his voice again. Sadly, it has taken 28 years for me to realize there was never any hope for any happiness on any level with this "fake person". 4 months no contact now....thanking God for my new life! Thankfully, no children.
Congratulations on Breaking Free from this demonic entity! Scripture says when we draw close to God, He draws close to us. This, I proved to be 100% TRUE! May God bless you throughout the rest of your journey!💪🙏💒💞
I appreciate so much words of wisdom and encouragement. Many people do not believe "demons roam the earth"...I do. 1 week before I asked my narcissist husband to leave I know I was actually standing face to face with his demon revealing itself to me for first time. I even asked him...who are you? I was shocked by this incident and felt terrified and I am still terrified of him. I have prayed over oil and touched spaces through out my home while calling on Jesus to cast out any demons left behind that could harm me. This is a real life experience that has "shaken me to my core". I will not survive this man without the protection of God. I pray all the time for God to protect me....I am that afraid still. Daily my family and friends call and check on me and are concerned for my welfare but I can't stay locked up in house so I am pushing ahead making changes toward a happier future and trusting God for peace, joy and safety.
Charlotte Herring "Do Not Fear" Jesus tells us this over & over, & for good reason. These demons...they are COWARDS, & they TREMBLE & Run at the very name of Jesus Christ. I have confronted, bound up, & cast these demons out in Jesus' Mighty Name & SO CAN YOU. I try to lead a righteous, sin-free life, but obviously I am not perfect, as I too have tolerated this spirit. It uses sex. I took that away by living in celibacy. That's how this demon drew me in. Christ is SO POWERFUL, & as we put in on His armor (our armor...in Galations 6) WE, are As Powerful as Christ, as He has GIVEN Us authority over these creatures. Don't fear babe. Going No Contact is the Best way to go. If you must have limited contact, Stand Your Ground. They are masters of lying & manipulation. We must not tolerate it, as written in Revelation 2. Stand Firm hun. You Got This!😉🙏💒💞😘
First birthday and Christmas with no gifts here. I'm getting it and preparing for the break-up. Thank you for reaffirming this is one of those characteristics (I haven't watched the vid yet, just about to dive in).
Yes - an all too-common tactic. After I'd been in counseling for a while, I learned not to engage in arguments. That was the point when my ex husband took it up a notch and began driving erratically and dangerously, literally putting my life and the lives of our two children at risk whenever we got in a car with him. He would do ANYTHING to get a rise out of me... and speeding/swerving/cutting people off on the highway while screaming like a madman would reduce the kids and I to tears with me pleading for him to slow down.
Trippin' Balls and just before you arrive the “c’mon pal” slap on the shoulder & Cheshire Cat smile before we go inside so you seem nuts..the one with the attitude/problem since clearly everyone has moved on. Yup. Ain’t life grand?!..diose, that is
Hi Enrico, yes very 'normal' for a narcissist! In this video I explain why the narcissist is cruel to you (family) and nice to everyone else. As holiday times are prime times for 'less narc supply', this means the narcissist has to ramp up the narcissistic behaviour to keep supply coming. Have a look at this video hun and apply it to holidays. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-narcissists-are-so-cruel-to-you-and-kind-to-everyone-else/ Love and blessings to you xoxox
If I were on a jury hearing a case where someone killed their narcissistic partner for doing all this, I would acquit him/her. You would think that you'd be able to get past this wet blanket, demonic entity hanging around, but it's impossible. the heart pounding rage, the flooding of epinephrine/ adrenaline, the headache, nausea, oh I don't even want to think about it. It takes days to recover. sometimes weeks, and in the end the children never recover.
Yes I agree with all of what you have said. The emotional beating ends up making you physically ill and you can end up like a zombie. They are demonic entities truly evil insidious creatures. I have seen it in their eyes. Thank god I am now recovering from this sick addiction. In the end I realized there is NO LOVE just sickness.
I think my mom married a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath and that she, herself is a narcissist as well. She seemed to pick up the traits of her abusive lovers and then abused me in similar ways. She would control all the finances as her ex husband did with her when I was an adult, even as old as 30. She complained of sexual abuse at the hands of her first boyfriend/fiancee and second husband and she raped me while in sleep paralysis. Her first boyfriend said psychotic things to her and she said psychotic things to me like she was some other spiritual being. She would manipulate me and take advantage of me financially, etc. etc. What happened her, she sneakily did to me. She was physically abused and once, as a child she insisted on showing me her self defense moves until she connected, with my groin... ouch.
Steven Castellano I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. You must be devastatingly affected by this. I send you much love, and my wish for you is to find peace. I know we can heal. I just know it.
Susanne C yes you nailed it he started early in the morning and attempted to ruin my Christmas with my family I invited him he didn't want to go because he's ashamed the cat is out of the bag because he's so abusive and accusatory towards me and my family knows the kind of person I am and they're all sad that I married him thank you for sharing
Mine invited me to meet his mother for Xmas whom lives out of state, then ghosted me. I just can't believe it! I'm still so broken, but this is the worst thing he's EVER done to me!
I'm sorry to read this Dee Vee, there is no doubt at Holiday Times, Narcs will, and do, ramp up the behaviour - including ghosting. I would love to help you heal from this and invite you to connect to my free resources as a first step. Love and blessings to you xoxox ww.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
Melanie my bf left me home every holiday lasy year alone . never called at 12 on new years posted pics up i was no part of any holiday and i cried every holiday n felt so bad.and felt so unloved and not welcomed . I told him never do it again. Then few months later his sons bday party he invited everyone and was sweet to me 3 days b4 party never told me about the party. I found out later i was not invited. I ended the relationship i was humilated
Witnessed some of this. The narc in our family would have hissy fits over nothing. Walking on land mines was left out of your message that I know for a fact all of us Nons seem to experience around the holidays. Our narc would purposely wait to dish up last to make it seem as though she was being polite but it was more about being last so she could purposely make everyone wait for queen bee to take her sweet time and be the center of attention.
Well... if nothing else, you must admit they can be pretty creative in the many ways they find to torment others in their lives. Thing is... it only works when they know what they are doing is causing others distress.
If I could save one person from getting into this kind of situation or help them get out of it by saying that there's no winning, no hope. I've been married for almost four decades and it's still the same. it gets worse as they get older and more helpless and more childish. the children are all broken. my youngest is 30. "If I could save one person, then my whole wasted life would be worth it."
Susanne C May God give you peace and strength! I think your journey is meaningful to many, knowing you can survive and there is a different way to live.
Kry Kry Fear I just came from my therapist and then my domestic abuse project in my area. Checking my options see what I can do. It's hard to be afraid. It is synchronistic that you should ask that question so recently. Thank you I was just asking myself the same thing
This year my daughter said all she wants for Christmas is to spend time with me. She's 13 and understands some of what her father is. She knows I'm working on getting us both away from him and I hope this is the last Christmas we have to be around him.
You’re a mean one, You really are a heel You’re as cuddly as a cactus You’re as charming as an eel Mr Grinch, you’re a bad banana Mr Grinch with the greasy black peel You’re a vile one You got termites in your smile Dumdi dumdi dumdi....
Ewww....I just ate a whole heap of marshmallows whilst watching this. I think the anxiety from thinking about last Xmas made me chew faster. Now I feel sick. Last Xmas I slept in a car in the paddock with my dogs. After being hit in a head by a beer bottle. Xmas has never been pleasant time for me. But this year it will be, Im out of the relationship for good and will not return.
My narc mother always sabatoges Christmas and birthdays by taking control and letting us know we arent doing it right. Its never to her standards of what it should be. We "arent festive enough" or we "have no Christmas spirit" etc. so she gripes and complains the whole time pretty much ruining things for everyone else.
I know the pain from never being able to reach the "goal posts" , Sunny. It can be excruciating. I would love for you to connect up to my free resources to help you through this pain. www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse. Love and blessings. xoxox
My sister used to insist on hosting Christmas at her place, get drunk, then tear down the decorations before the guests had left, declaring angrily "Christmas is over!" for no reason in particular. Then she'd get mad at me for never hosting at my place, even though no matter how I tried, she'd change plans with my parents behind my back so suddenly it'd be at her place. My ex used to make separate Santa present stacks for our son on his side of the room as if it were a contest of which the kid liked better. We weren't able to ever get a tree when he was here, and at the end he used Christmas by threatening to ruin it for our son if I didn't agree to stay with him when I told him I wanted to break up. For the last 5 years our Christmases have been nothing but bliss and joy. No narcs, just my new wife, son and I at home. We get a tree, we decorate, we listen to Christmas music, decorate cookies, and no one spoils the joy! Make every holiday a No Narc Zone. It's the only way to go. ^_^
Wow - yes, Christmas was always a gong show with my ex husband. It's difficult to articulate the worst experience, but I'll share the memory of Christmas when our daughter turned one year old, and my mother traveled 10 hours by car to be with us for Christmas. We had all planned on going downtown to enjoy a holiday parade of lights Christmas evening, however as dinner wrapped up and I was putting away all the left overs, my husband suddenly came down with a terrible headache and didn't want to go. He went up to the bedroom to lie down, and I followed him upstairs with a cup of tea and a cool cloth for his head. When I told him my mother and I were still going to take our daughter to the parade, adding that that way he could rest undisturbed for an hour or so, he became enraged that I would think of leaving him in that state... started yelling etc. I stood my ground and left with my mom and daughter. When we returned (about 90 minutes later) I knew something was wrong as soon as I turned onto our street and found our house in complete darkness, with every other house lit up on the block. First thing I noticed was that all the Christmas lights on the house had been ripped down and left scattered across the driveway (this would have required getting out the extension ladder.) Upon entering the house, all the left over turkey and fixings from dinner had been thrown into the garbage, including all the boxes of baking my mom had brought with her. For the grand finale, the Christmas tree, and all gifts sitting under it that had not yet been put away, had been tossed unceremoniously into the backyard, ruining most of the heirloom ornaments of mine from childhood... his ornaments he had taken off. So, I now understand better why this happened... although I am still at a loss as to how/if the situation might have been avoided. This is my first time sharing this memory as I've always felt it was too bizarre to be believed.
Christina Perry wow! hugs I've gone thru similar but never had the nerve to just go I applaud you for not falling for his game like I did, I ended up neglecting my family to cater to his needs until this past year!
Thanks, gypsy forest. This was toward the end of my marriage. I had been in counseling to build up my strength and learn some coping strategies for a couple of years when this situation occurred. My mother was a narcissist, too... so that particular night, I didn't feel strong enough to say "no" to her either... and she was determined to go to the parade. (I suspect she was actually trying to push my husband's buttons as well.) I didn't expect to come home to find all the destruction that he had done in the time we were away. The next morning, he behaved as if nothing had happened. Later in the day (when he realized I was not going to question him on his behaviours) he confronted me and stated that he always hated Christmas dragging on too long, and asked why I hadn't thanked him for putting all the Christmas decorations away. I couldn't even sidestep him... it didn't matter whether I said something, didn't say something, questioned or ignored his behaviour... there were severe consequences to pay at all times.
loupizza22, my mother died in 2005. Unfortunately, it took her death for me to break away from that relationship. On the upside, I no longer feel the guilt I had for several years following her death: maybe I could have done..., if only I'd said..., and all the rest of that horrible regret I held inside for never having been able to feel loved by her, for not being able to "fix" that relationship.
my narc stole from my wallet on christmas day 2018 and he didn't even care. he even had gifts under the tree too. He took everything back to the store to get cash and or sell the gift cards at the pawn shop for cash. Yes christmas was a nightmare.
My ex slapped me in the face and called me selfish for wanting to pick a restaurant on my birthday. She screamed: it’s the last time I’ll cater to your selfishness!
My dad and his wife never bought presents for me but i did for them and my sisters everytime they acted like it was normal so it felt normal while i watched them unrap. untill i went to chrismas with my ex. I got a present from his mother and cried my eyes out took me years to understand why i was emotional
My ex Narc didn't participate in Christmas festivities with my family and he disavowed his own family years ago. Either we fought, or he just wouldn't come with me to my sister's, where everything was going on. It didn't ruin my time with my family. I love my family! But, what it did to, was keep me mindful of the clock, as to "when" I needed to leave, cus it was a two hour drive home. He preferred to stay home alone. I had to make excuses for his not being there. I'm so happy to be free of this insanity! :D Merry Christmas Melanie!
He made my last three Christmas god awful but not this one. Couldn't if he tried I don't care about him no more & I am extremely happy now. So are my kids. We made it. But I still can't get rid of him lurking in my facebook.
I'd close down my FB account for a couple of months, then reopen under a different name... notify close friends of the change, and only let in the people whom you trust not to pass along the information to your former narcissistic partner.
Block him and set privacy settings and do not friend anyone you do not know even if they are friends with someone you do know. Also change settings so only friends can view your FB and make sure it's not set to friends and their friends can view your information... If that doesn't work, then just stay off FB for a while. Shut it down, and don't post things. You can text stuff to people you want to stay in contact with.
BLOCK!! You can also make a "restricted" list if there are friends you need to keep but do not want them to see everything on your Timeline. That will drive them crazy as they know you are there but they can't see what you are doing.
Omg. This was hilarious in the beginning. It's soooo spot on. The monologue of this video could be a christmas card. The ways they ruin Christmas are on the inside. Narc-ing out at Christmas been so repetitive after so many years, it's comical at this point. And dead on.
This is the time of year my narc older sister, who I have to live with, attacks me and my children, 14 grandchildren and great-grandchild. I tried to diffuse her trying to start an argument today with some of the tips I learned. It was actually funny to watch her sputter and fly into a mini-rage. I was unemotional and walked away. She will get violent if I didn't. Made me feel empowered and back in control. She tried many times today to re-engage her superiority and attack me, but I just deflected like a non-emotional ninja until she left to do some errands. She does expect me to clean the large house and do all the cooking for her family because she "has to work". As long as she's gone, I'm ok with that. Yeah!!!
Think of the narc as a terminator robot or a creature. We are hurt because their behavior is so nonsensical when looked at from a human point of view. We are disappointed because our expectations a never met. Narcs are PREDATORS. You would not expect to receive an affectionate hug from a crocodile, would you?
Thank god I discarded this freaky for the Holidays. my husband I love the facts his ass will be scourge all alone. 62yr old grown child with the mentally of a six year old. there not a dame thing my husband after ten years of narc abuse can say nor his love balming immature lies. I'm at peace loving my freedom.
My narcissist decided to take this time to tell her little kids that santa didn't exist. They were just too happy and she couldn't bear to see them that way. So she poured the proverbial rain on their parade. Very sad, indeed.
One Christmas morning, my now "narc-ex" went out the front door and slammed it hard behind him. He didn't say anything to anyone. He was supposedly angry over something simple, but I know he had it all planned. Later that day, he left me a voicemail claiming that God had told him it was over between us and that he was going to spend the night over his "sister's" house. He had done these types of things on other holidays. But I had had enough! The very next day, I went to the courthouse and filed for a divorce. The narc came back a few days later, ranting and raving, like he hadn't done anything wrong. I'm so very glad that I finally got that madness out of my life for good. Narcs have absolutely no good sense!
This video is spot on. Every Christmas started with the Christmas tree fiasco. As an introduction, my mother was a narc and I was never allowed to decorate her awful fake tree because she had to do it her way. Understandably, I couldn't wait to get married and have my own little family traditions - you know - christmas songs and mulled wine while setting up the tree. Well, starting with our first Christmas, narc husband didn't like where i wanted to put the tree... this lead to a fight which gave him an excuse to sulk and leave me to do everything alone. Every year after that, it was a fight about something....where to put the tree, asking him a million times to help bring down the tree from the attic, a tantrum about the lights being tangled; you get the idea. He would just disengage from the entire process. Maybe once in a while he would deem to be social by sitting in the same room with the kids and me and watch us do the work. I finally didn't even expect him to take part in the tree tradition. He would just get really mean-spirited and generate negative energy. I am too embarrassed to mention how long I have been married to this man bearing the brunt of his gaslighting while trying to understand why he always turns on me especially when we have been getting along. I am finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that he will never change and will continue to be selfish. I have especially been appalled when he has been BLATANTlLY selfish (of course, not when others are around) without a shred of self consciousness about his cruelty. Amazing. I remember telling my shrink that he doesn;t love me nor probably ever did - and this was before I started watching the videos. The shrink wanted to know if I really believed that. I said, "yes, i know it". She didnt think I meant it. My eyes are now opened / my heart is closing. It has to or I will not survive.
Melanie.... I simply can't THANK YOU enough for all the wiseness you're giving me right now!!! I've been researching for quite a while, she's just discharged of a mental health+durg rehab clinic, and... guess what, everything just the same again. Specially the "ghosting" she's so fond of and completely destroys me. I've been reading a lot, but... you know when you finally hear something that "clicks"? That was YOU. And since it's been so long, i do feel completely enlightned and cured. Of course i will watch out on myself (thanks God i'm good at it), but honestly, it just feels like it all cleared out, and i FINALLY know what i've been thru. THANK YOU SO MUCH, I HAVE NO WORDS TO THANK YOU LONG ENOUGH!!!
A time when they get together & enjoy degrading me when they have each acted like they love me more than anything when each of them is alone with me. Entire shock every time.
Awe, Mya-Lia, I know the shock of this can be debilitating, when Narcisissts triangulate us in these ways. My heart goes out to you for this. The relief on the other side is awaiting you, Dear One. Love and blessings to you.xoxox
Thank you for posting. I was beginning to get wrapped (pun not intended) up in his fake niceness, and think this Christmas might actually be normal. This morning, Christmas Eve, he started his normal routine. This video brought me back to reality and gave me strength. Thank you and Merry Christmas.
Wow. Surreal. Describes most of my married Christmas's. Even the early ones when he was still on best behavior. Thank you so much for your healing work and words. Just beginning to climb out of the pit - lots of work ahead but this gives me hope! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and your subscribers.
Thank you Annie, Seasons Greeting to you too hun!! It is my absolute pleasure to offer my work for people to heal from narcissistic abuse and I'm thrilled for you that you are healing from it YAYA!! love and blessings to you xoxox
Mine last said he is so stressed out about family issues that he is always going to go to his parents and never to spend it with mine again. We spent it alone with no parents but day after I got called 'dirty greedy xxxx' ....... Also mine hated his birthday!
My aunt who adopted me when I was 7 years old, 2 years before my mom died, came for Christmas with her two daughters and used them to give me envelope with money(her money) and some card where they wrote how much they all love me, haha. She also hugged me and kissed me, all smiling, pretending like everything is perfectly fine. I wasn't speaking at all with her for 10 months, not even a single word, since the end of the february, when she gave me silent treatment because I finally stood up for myself and called her out on her bullshit. All that period she tried to provoke a reaction from me numerous times(digging through my personal stuff when I am not at home, opening envelope with my debit card PIN and taking it, etc, etc.) And of course... Launching a huge smear campaign against me, telling all our relatives and especially to thoose who she completely isolated me from, lies that she doesnt speak with me because of the college I didnt finshed, and that she spent on that college thousands and thousands of dollars and ended up in huge debt because of me, together with her mother, my grandma, who she convinced to left me out of the will, to avoid sharing anything of inheritance with me. She never paid a single dollar for my education, or helped me in any way financially, in fact she used me with adoption to get assistance money. Also this is a first time I got money as a present from her, usually I used to get shampoo for dandruff, clearly mans hoodies and I am a woman. It was always something very very cheap or something that has nothing to do with who I am and what I like. I think this is a classic narc hoovering. I am so mad how she used her own kids, to make me take that money and the fact that I am not working due to depression and huge anxiety. Its like they indirectly say to you: " I posses you, you will be my bitch again, sooner or later..." How can I return this money? I know if I do that she will use it to drag me in a new conflict. They feed on that. Its so sad and frustrating how these type of individuals put a person in a loose-loose situation. No matter what a person does they are in the wrong it seems. I guess thats their perceived power to make a person out to be whatever serves them. :/
Hi Shiny LittleStar, you are spot on hun - it is classic hoovering and using the money to do it with. The most important thing here, in my opinion, is to stay true to yourself and if you want to send the money back (so you have no ties to her) I am sure you can find a way to do this. Then be prepared for any 'fall out' behaviour. I would love you to connect to my resources to help you with this, so you can become more empowered, strong and completely aligned with your true self. And big Kudos to you. Love and blessings to you xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse This may help you further blog.melanietoniaevans.com/narcissistic-abuse-youre-damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-dont/
I wish these videos had been around when I was young, I could have got training on how to cut rotton boyfriend s out of my life and not wasted my time.
Gosh I couldn´t believe this was posted!...so essentially my narc father makes me go through mounts and valleys to buy nails and fix the decrepit kitchen table so that the visitors can eat there, then the visits come and trash it while moving it to the dining room, and he tries to guilt trip me saying i should have fixed it there already when he himself wouldn´t have allowed it....all the way while laughing with the shameless visitor who promises him to send a carpenter next week to fix the said table...can you believe the nerve of this guy?!? Lord give me patience!!
My wife is a narcissist we were married five years she left me on December 1 without warning this is the second Christmas she has destroyed and I thought it was just me I could not figure out what was going on so I started watching your videos and then I figured out what was really going on everything you have said has help me And made perfect sense I thought I was losing my mind why this relationship for five years has been hell She has stole money she’s gotten into my banking account she has cheated on me you name it I’m so down i’m getting a divorce I have cut off all contact yes I’m hurting but I will get over it one day With gods help thank you so much for your videos you have put things in so much perspective
You are so welcome S L.I 70, I am happy my videos have helped you. If you would like to heal these wounds and become the empowered person you truly are, I would love you to connect to my free resources for extra support xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
hard when its family. my sister and I and now my son are involved in a narcissistic/ codependent situation. She has financial wealth and uses this to control us. my son is turning narc. im a codep. but can also vary as a narc when i get sick of being a codep. Its hard and our relationships struggle... pray for us to heal from the narc co dep spirit!!!
My friend's Narc husband had a stroke. It was amazing to see how my friend handled it. It was awesome. She took him to the hospital, made sure he was settled, and then left. He tried to guilt her into staying. 😆But she quickly reminded him: You said I was your roommate, only a wife stays. She walked out and hasnt returned. He can't use his arm for anything.
I've been subscribed to your channel for a while now . I often try not to watch the videos only because it reminds me of the narc ive been working with for 18 years at the same job and my blood starts to boil and I get anxious shaky sweating . He just gets on my nerves so bad that my mind of filled with negative thoughts about this prick and my mind go into a over thinking overdose of anger and confusion I just want to jump out of my skin .
Hi Silverss - have you taken it to the next step? Healing those wounds inside of your body will release the 'blood starts to boil', anxiety, shaky and sweating so when you think of him or are in his company you will feel NOTHING. I would love you to show you how to do this and invite you to my free webinar so you can experience a healing for yourself - www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xoxox
100% confirmed he definitely was a narcissist! He hated Christmas with a whole new passion that I have ever seen. I wish I had watched this video last year.
We disappear if we are leaving the narc. How do we distinguish safely getting away without warning the narc from behaving like one and avoiding? My experience of narc mothers and golden child narcs at Christmas is absolutely the 6! We detached when the narc decided to bully me and then push me to stay home and only send my spouse. Of course she blew up and it took years to get clear! "Narcs and presents" made me shiver!
Opportunities for healing from these ordeals seem to be revealing themselves. Healing and healed is the best kind of gift which keeps on giving other than love.
I am going no contact for 6 months now. After watching this it feels like I am a bad person, because of course no contact was hurting others. Although it wasn't my attention to hurt, but to protect my self. Big cognitive dissonance. :( (every month i am feeling better and better. I was afraid of Christmas so much. But everything went well even on the night before Christmas, I had a good time. I enjoyed my company. But then it hit me like a rock: feelings of guilt, and shame, thoughts like: "how can i be such a bad person, after all the good they have done to me. I must be a narcisist." And the opposite thoughts: "I couldn't spend a minute with them on the Christmas, all those silent fights and threats, and shaming and blaming if I was not doing everything perfectly at the perfect moment..." and thoughts like: " they are always happy seeing me, but within few hours everything changed to something dark.... i can not take any step into that house anymore, although it seems like i am welcome, like everything is beautiful..... i can't....just can't....everything seems like a lie... and all this confusion this is causing me: even if I am not with them, I feel confused...... if I make a contact, I fall apart...." Best to all. Happy New Year.
Mine just promises gifts and never gives them. Has done that for 3 years now lol. I really hope all of you ignore yours and/or handle it the true and proper way. Don't give in! Merry Christmas
When he started that s*** years ago "I'm not going!" I used to get so upset like someone pulled the rug out from under me or punched me in the stomach. And my mother used to shame me because I couldn't control him if I showed up without him. she was a b****. Yeah I would suggest just do everything without this person tell them they're not invited. I would suggest doing this early. in the relationship. Better yet save yourself a lifetime of Hell.Get out before it's too late!
I'm glad you mentioned love bombing. As a "mom" my mom used this a lot and around Christmas. She did want everything to be about her. I was once at a party with her and she was having very loud conversation that prevented me from speaking with a Stanford who had a hearing problem. When I politely said you are very loud, I can't hear this Stanford professor I'm talking to... She didn't care in the least. Her son was speaking to a Stanford professor and her son would get published in his field as a Master's student that December but it was more important for her to be the center of attention and my conversation with a Stanford professor came second.
this was amazing! loved the points you made and examples...so spot on and the end was great especially about being present for your children and keeping open space for yourself...⭐⭐❄⭐⭐❄
Yes I'm in!!! You're right...enough is enough! I have been putting up with this shit (excuse me) for a long time now and have decided to cut the cord on someone I thought was closest to me despite all I had suffered in my life. I need some guidance so thank you and blessings
All of these Co-narcissists need help. Theyre all devoid of any self esteem. The focus needs to be on their own lives and learning how to stop trying to please an overgrown spoilt brat
I spent Christmas alone this year and it was a bit sad at times but it was preferable to being around my emotionally abusive family. Spending Christmas with my family would have been even more depressing and distressing. I opened the presents left for me and I cried. Each present was like a little stab to my heart, expressions of how little my family cares or knows me. In my family there was always a big song and dance at Christmas and millions of presents but no warmth or love. My reaction to the presents probably sounds horrible but I would prefer no presents and a genuine hug, heartfelt card or a home cooked meal. You know the saying "it's the thought that counts?" well what about if there is absolutely no thought put in. Things like a dress that is too small even though we just recently discussed my size, a packet of 3 sets of tights but with only one set of tights in it, items I'm allergic to, items regifted to me that I had given etc...
Aww Evie - big ((HUGS)) Sweetheart. Do you have the NARP program to help you? www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/narc-abuse-recovery.htm There will be extra support and members of the Community in the NARP Forum to support you all with understanding and unconditional love. If not, I would love you to connect to my free resources to help you www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse You are not alone. Love and blessings to you xoxox
I want to know: Are narcissists aware of what they're doing when they do these things or is it some subconscious instinctive-like reaction to negative emotions? Do they plan their behavior in advance or is it something that comes naturally without conscious thought? Maybe its a combination of the two?
Yes they know. Its deliberate. Shocking eh ? Its easier to believe that they're socially retarded, upset by something extreme that they won't tell you about, anything other than deliberate sabotage . Even when its predictable its hard to believe they're actually doing it on purpose.
Hi TheInsensitiveGentleman, I believe it is a combination of the two and I discuss this in this blog, which may help you with your question too blog.melanietoniaevans.com/does-the-narcissist-know-what-he-or-she-is-doing/ xoxox
I watched this too and I'd go with the brain being wired differently. Have watched the same predictable scenarios repeatedly unfold tho like they're following a script year after year after year. Good videos.
Ur amazing. I've just ended things with my partner ov 8 years. Thanku thanku thanku ❤ u are a genuine god send. Bless u. And I hope u and ur family have a wonderful Christmas lovely 😊❤ xxxxxx
He broke it off the 9th. The 29th invites me to play a game he originally declined the 10th. He deleted my number I noticed. Though weak as water I declined. He wasn't happy, but I made no explanation. Surely he has other toys. Thanks you nailed it concerning this year and others. One year he lied about putting up the fantastic decorations. The roommate told me a friend did it, a decorator. I am finally getting wise. Prayers of comfort, safety, strength and wisdom to all who suffer from the actions of mean people.
Much appreciation and thanks to you. It's been a year now that I've been listening and taking your advice, it's helped more than I can express. Thank you for your work ❤️
Hello, Mel!! Been awhile...Merry Christmas to you! 18 months NC since you and I met! Thanks much to you! Grateful for all you do!! Many blessings! I spent mine N-free with genuine and real people! AT LONG LAST!
I couldn’t understand why I was getting so anxious and stressed out at Christmas every year and this year I finally realized why!? He’s a Narcissist!!! He likes to buy me extravagant gifts then completely humiliates me in front of everyone when he opens my gifts to him. He would say “oh that’s not what I wanted” when he pointed it out. Say “you got better stuff then me” after he said don’t buy me anything “these aren’t the ones I like” even though it’s exactly what he asked for etc. He would make the kids wait forever until he decided to wake up. He even bought his own gifts and had me wrap them and then complain! It is nuts! He’s a total GRINCH!!!
Just dreaded Christmas. She would sit by the tree on Christmas morning either shouting or with a scowl on her face. Angry about pretty much everything. She liked to keep you guessing on what presents she wanted. After finally pinning her down and getting her exactly what she asked for she would open her presents and say "Why did you get me this?" One Christmas her parents came almost 3000 kms to spend the holidays with us. I had set up a videocamera to catch Christmas morning and despite knowing the camera was on she still had a screaming narcissistic fit. I am so tempted to download it on TH-cam. I can't say I am finally free of her. It will take years.
Get prepared MIFNP, keep it brief and focused on her and then forget the phone call when it's done. If you have NARP, then take any feelings/emotions that come up to a Module so you can release it all and get on with your day - enjoying yourself. Love and blessings xoxox
When our kids were little he would make getting ready for Christmas and actual Christmas AWFUL by picking fights, trying to prevent me from buying presents, going out drinking with his friends on Christmas Day and leaving me alone with the kids and endless little passive aggressive behaviors to ruin Christmas. Now that my kids are older (and will remember these days) he is friendly and full of festive spirit, picking out gifts and decorating with them when I'm busy with other things. But I can stay strong knowing what I know from pages like this. Otherwise I would be in a total mental downward spiral but I know he is a narcissist and it helps me make sense of this and accept it. After all the Christmases he crapped all over, to have him take it all over and laugh merrily while he decorates the tree with the kids is sickening. But I know what I know and I choose to focus on the fact that at least my kids are happy and enjoying it.
Oh my gosh, so exactly true! and just so happens my narcs name is Ted. Thanksgiving 2018 I did all the house work and cooked and prepared everything for 8 people, the narc didn't lift a finger to help. Instead he spent 2 hours in the bathroom attempting to make himself look perfect for everybody to see. Unbeknownst to him everyone thought he was rude for disappearing so long. When it came time to carve the turkey, he tried to be the man (not), and instead of carving the turkey, he butchered it. It looked like a wild animal ripped into it. I was no more good lmao! He did not impress anyone, but of course he couldn't see that!
Holidays became difficult for me because of PTSD. When the holidays are coming I HAVE to take care of myself and know what the plan is...I can't just "wing" it. I USED to be Mrs. Santa Claus and the elf who made everyone's Christmas awesome. I need to stay in that role with kind people and allow myself time to be still and let the dark emotions pass.
We Wouldn't Get To Address That Holidays Were About Family Only Through My Mothers Family... My Dad Would Say It Was Just Another Day.. Even Your Birthday...Was Not Important... But My Moms Family Would Do The Opposite....Have Us Christmas Presents & Birthday Parties.... Dad Didn't Like My Moms Family...
My ex narc preferred to help a random work colleague move house on Dec 24 instead spending it with his family! Thank God he is out of my life and out of my Christmasses 🎉
My ex cheated on me and let me find out Christmas day. Announced his other relationship. No explanation to me. His gf. This year he told me he wanted to be friends, Ive been going no contact but replied to him and he cut me off, blocked me for no reason whatsoever after telling me he needed me, etc. Trying to form a bond and attachment. Still cruel!
He took my son 10 days before xmas and hasn't given me him back. My other 3 children are devastated. I have residence in a court order but he doesn't care! Not sure how to handle that
Hi Pamela, if you are working with NARP (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program) take all the fears and feelings to a Module to shift out and replace with Source light and energy - let the 'I don't know what to do' solutions come through to you, and go from there. There are times you have to take action and call in authorities to help and guide you. Love and blessings to you xoxox
I remember the narc tried to fight with me so he can go elsewhere but at this time I was used to getting him back so he was getting ready to go with another supply but I stole his car keys and left in my own car. He was pissed he couldn’t find his keys and Locked me and our baby out this house not even knowing I had his keys.
He bought me things that I would never use or weren't meant for me...more like for himself. It's as if he didnt know me even though he knew exactly what I wanted when he hoovered me back..yeah I fell for it but no more now that I have educated myself.
Thank you so much for your videos! My sister is the narc who tries to ruin every holiday not just Christmas. My Birth Day, Thanksgiving, New Years. Heck she'd ruin Presidents Day if she got the chance. She even fixed it so I had no emotional support from my family when I was dealing with Heart issues and worried every day for about 3 years that I was going to die! I have spotted several of your videos I will be watching. I was wondering though if there are any that are more targeted to Sibling and Parental Narcissistic Abuse?
Hello Sweet Pea, Yes, we do have several resources that can help you with this. If you email a request with this question to support@melanietoniaevans.com, they can give you several but here are a couple to get you started: blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-if-the-narcissist-is-a-family-member/Should You Go No Contact With A Family Member?th-cam.com/video/TNYJJkft03k/w-d-xo.html Much love xx
I've never seen my sister help at any family gathering ever, and she's 55 now. She'll say "Can I do anything?" But she doesn't mean it. She'll have to make a phone call or something if anybody actually says yes. Or she claims to be bad at that task, or remind everyone that she doesn't cook or her fibromyalgia is bothering her or her feet (she weighs 300 lbs). She's always treated my mom & me like we're a hotel when she comes to visit.
Hi Shelly, not a strange question hun. This blog will answer your question fully blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-narcissist-and-co-dependent-two-sides-of-the-same-coin/, however, narcissistic abuse is about gaining supply for the narcissist and to do that the narc behaviour is ramped up over time to gain a reaction - hence the 'victim's' responses can become narcissistic in nature. The narcissist projects their wounds onto you too. Please be assured if you were a true narcissist you wouldn't have asked the question Dear Lady. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/am-i-the-narcissist/ Love and blessings to you xoxox
I thank you for your response. I have been reading and watching the videos you supply. I believe that it is helpful to understand the "nature" of this beast. I am unsure however of the actual Quantum Healing aspect. It is something I simply cannot wrap my head around at this point. I do however see that others find benefit in it and that is what counts in the end. Again, thank you.
My narcissist sister who i was upset that she has no time for me during the holidays blocked me from her Facebook feeds , this crush me and broke my heart so I removed all of her friends and her from my Facebook and blocked her on my phone now she is scratching her head wondering why my behaviour .
Hang on, I'm a Grinch right up until the last few days before Christmas, I am terrified that I'm a narcissistic at Xmas & feel that nobody wants me around because I can start fights when I run into dishonest willfully ignorant people. I also have addiction problems but I can control my anxiety most of the time though it used to be outa control.
One Christmas, my father in law started yelling at me while his sister was trying to take a picture of me and my husband at a family gathering. "You better smile or i'm gonna come over there and beat your ass!!!" That night he then told my husband "leave her before she gets pregnant and you're stuck with her forever." His sister defended him with the whole "oh that's just how he is. You have to ignore him and forgive him..."
I'm dealing with this right now and I don't no how to deal with this😔 I'm so lost for words . I love her so much but she' saying to give her time . What should I do , I need advice ...
Hi Lance, Turn the focus on yourself hun, give her time and in the meantime work on healing your own wounds so you can focus on your own life. This blogs may help a little blog.melanietoniaevans.com/difference-between-authentic-and-narcissistic-relationships/ Love and blessings to you xoxox
My Mom uses her annual party to hurt people by selective invitation then claims everyone knows the date and all are welcome. Even after one cousin said it would be nice if someone knew when it was. I just avoid my entire family because of their games there are at least 3 narcissist and I am always the scapegoat.
My narc stayed in the bedroom all day... best gift EVER. Everyone was happy and at peace.
lucky eehehehehe
Enrico Miceli yesss
That rarely happens! Staying in your room is someone that is usually avoiding a narc.
Best gift ever....silent treatment! I've grown to enjoy it.
My narcissistic husband (soon to be ex) did not give me gifts for Xmas, birthday, anniversary or any other special occasion but had no problem opening gifts I had given him while I watched with no gift or presents from him. Nor did he help in any way with preparations for holidays. Today, I cannot stand even the thought of him and have no desire to ever see his face or hear his voice again. Sadly, it has taken 28 years for me to realize there was never any hope for any happiness on any level with this "fake person". 4 months no contact now....thanking God for my new life! Thankfully, no children.
Thrive on Charlotte Dear Lady!! xoxox
Congratulations on Breaking Free from this demonic entity! Scripture says when we draw close to God, He draws close to us. This, I proved to be 100% TRUE! May God bless you throughout the rest of your journey!💪🙏💒💞
I appreciate so much words of wisdom and encouragement. Many people do not believe "demons roam the earth"...I do. 1 week before I asked my narcissist husband to leave I know I was actually standing face to face with his demon revealing itself to me for first time. I even asked him...who are you? I was shocked by this incident and felt terrified and I am still terrified of him. I have prayed over oil and touched spaces through out my home while calling on Jesus to cast out any demons left behind that could harm me. This is a real life experience that has "shaken me to my core". I will not survive this man without the protection of God. I pray all the time for God to protect me....I am that afraid still. Daily my family and friends call and check on me and are concerned for my welfare but I can't stay locked up in house so I am pushing ahead making changes toward a happier future and trusting God for peace, joy and safety.
Charlotte Herring "Do Not Fear" Jesus tells us this over & over, & for good reason. These demons...they are COWARDS, & they TREMBLE & Run at the very name of Jesus Christ. I have confronted, bound up, & cast these demons out in Jesus' Mighty Name & SO CAN YOU. I try to lead a righteous, sin-free life, but obviously I am not perfect, as I too have tolerated this spirit. It uses sex. I took that away by living in celibacy. That's how this demon drew me in. Christ is SO POWERFUL, & as we put in on His armor (our armor...in Galations 6) WE, are As Powerful as Christ, as He has GIVEN Us authority over these creatures. Don't fear babe. Going No Contact is the Best way to go. If you must have limited contact, Stand Your Ground. They are masters of lying & manipulation. We must not tolerate it, as written in Revelation 2. Stand Firm hun. You Got This!😉🙏💒💞😘
First birthday and Christmas with no gifts here. I'm getting it and preparing for the break-up. Thank you for reaffirming this is one of those characteristics (I haven't watched the vid yet, just about to dive in).
How bout the big fight they pick in the car on the way to the family party.....anyone?
Yes - an all too-common tactic. After I'd been in counseling for a while, I learned not to engage in arguments. That was the point when my ex husband took it up a notch and began driving erratically and dangerously, literally putting my life and the lives of our two children at risk whenever we got in a car with him. He would do ANYTHING to get a rise out of me... and speeding/swerving/cutting people off on the highway while screaming like a madman would reduce the kids and I to tears with me pleading for him to slow down.
Trippin' Balls and just before you arrive the “c’mon pal” slap on the shoulder & Cheshire Cat smile before we go inside so you seem nuts..the one with the attitude/problem since clearly everyone has moved on. Yup. Ain’t life grand?!..diose, that is
Trippin' Balls
I know I get the heebie-jeebies just getting into the car anytime I don't like being in the car with this person at all.
Or they embarrass you at your company holiday party acting like a 5 year old and insist on leaving.
Amy IAMthechange from what I've learned the Narc is seldom beyond that age, mentally and emotionally.
what about narcissists systematically ruining every holiday trips???
Hi Enrico, yes very 'normal' for a narcissist! In this video I explain why the narcissist is cruel to you (family) and nice to everyone else. As holiday times are prime times for 'less narc supply', this means the narcissist has to ramp up the narcissistic behaviour to keep supply coming. Have a look at this video hun and apply it to holidays. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-narcissists-are-so-cruel-to-you-and-kind-to-everyone-else/ Love and blessings to you xoxox
If I were on a jury hearing a case where someone killed their narcissistic partner for doing all this, I would acquit him/her. You would think that you'd be able to get past this wet blanket, demonic entity hanging around, but it's impossible. the heart pounding rage, the flooding of epinephrine/ adrenaline, the headache, nausea, oh I don't even want to think about it. It takes days to recover. sometimes weeks, and in the end the children never recover.
Yes I agree with all of what you have said. The emotional beating ends up making you physically ill and you can end up like a zombie. They are demonic entities truly evil insidious creatures. I have seen it in their eyes. Thank god I am now recovering from this sick addiction. In the end I realized there is NO LOVE just sickness.
I think my mom married a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath and that she, herself is a narcissist as well. She seemed to pick up the traits of her abusive lovers and then abused me in similar ways. She would control all the finances as her ex husband did with her when I was an adult, even as old as 30. She complained of sexual abuse at the hands of her first boyfriend/fiancee and second husband and she raped me while in sleep paralysis. Her first boyfriend said psychotic things to her and she said psychotic things to me like she was some other spiritual being. She would manipulate me and take advantage of me financially, etc. etc. What happened her, she sneakily did to me. She was physically abused and once, as a child she insisted on showing me her self defense moves until she connected, with my groin... ouch.
Steven Castellano
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. You must be devastatingly affected by this. I send you much love, and my wish for you is to find peace. I know we can heal. I just know it.
Susanne C yes you nailed it he started early in the morning and attempted to ruin my Christmas with my family I invited him he didn't want to go because he's ashamed the cat is out of the bag because he's so abusive and accusatory towards me and my family knows the kind of person I am and they're all sad that I married him thank you for sharing
Susanne C they are ppl too ....demonic pshhh no they troubled and damaged ...demonic is harsh and inaccurate
Mine invited me to meet his mother for Xmas whom lives out of state, then ghosted me. I just can't believe it! I'm still so broken, but this is the worst thing he's EVER done to me!
I'm sorry to read this Dee Vee, there is no doubt at Holiday Times, Narcs will, and do, ramp up the behaviour - including ghosting. I would love to help you heal from this and invite you to connect to my free resources as a first step. Love and blessings to you xoxox ww.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
I hope you are well. You dodged a bullet.
Melanie my bf left me home every holiday lasy year alone . never called at 12 on new years posted pics up i was no part of any holiday and i cried every holiday n felt so bad.and felt so unloved and not welcomed . I told him never do it again. Then few months later his sons bday party he invited everyone and was sweet to me 3 days b4 party never told me about the party. I found out later i was not invited. I ended the relationship i was humilated
Witnessed some of this. The narc in our family would have hissy fits over nothing. Walking on land mines was left out of your message that I know for a fact all of us Nons seem to experience around the holidays. Our narc would purposely wait to dish up last to make it seem as though she was being polite but it was more about being last so she could purposely make everyone wait for queen bee to take her sweet time and be the center of attention.
Well... if nothing else, you must admit they can be pretty creative in the many ways they find to torment others in their lives. Thing is... it only works when they know what they are doing is causing others distress.
If I could save one person from getting into this kind of situation or help them get out of it by saying that there's no winning, no hope. I've been married for almost four decades and it's still the same. it gets worse as they get older and more helpless and more childish. the children are all broken. my youngest is 30. "If I could save one person, then my whole wasted life would be worth it."
Susanne C believe me I feel the same way just one
Susanne C I hear your pain. Xx
Susanne C May God give you peace and strength! I think your journey is meaningful to many, knowing you can survive and there is a different way to live.
Mirtza Griffin
Thank you so much. God bless you too. How kind of you. I know I will triumph. we all will. That is my prayer for us all
Kry Kry
Fear I just came from my therapist and then my domestic abuse project in my area. Checking my options see what I can do. It's hard to be afraid. It is synchronistic that you should ask that question so recently. Thank you I was just asking myself the same thing
This year my daughter said all she wants for Christmas is to spend time with me. She's 13 and understands some of what her father is. She knows I'm working on getting us both away from him and I hope this is the last Christmas we have to be around him.
Basically the narc is the Grinch
Mathan75 😂
the narc wishes. At least the grinch still has some compassion in him
Thats for sure
You’re a mean one,
You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactus
You’re as charming as an eel
Mr Grinch, you’re a bad banana
Mr Grinch with the greasy black peel
You’re a vile one
You got termites in your smile
Dumdi dumdi dumdi....
Ewww....I just ate a whole heap of marshmallows whilst watching this. I think the anxiety from thinking about last Xmas made me chew faster. Now I feel sick. Last Xmas I slept in a car in the paddock with my dogs. After being hit in a head by a beer bottle. Xmas has never been pleasant time for me. But this year it will be, Im out of the relationship for good and will not return.
Have a REALLY good Christmas time this year Absolutely Blonde, filled with love and good cheer!! Love and blessings to you xoxox
My narc mother always sabatoges Christmas and birthdays by taking control and letting us know we arent doing it right. Its never to her standards of what it should be. We "arent festive enough" or we "have no Christmas spirit" etc. so she gripes and complains the whole time pretty much ruining things for everyone else.
I know the pain from never being able to reach the "goal posts" , Sunny. It can be excruciating. I would love for you to connect up to my free resources to help you through this pain. www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse. Love and blessings. xoxox
This is SUCH an important video that you should release it every year without fail.
Thank you Sea Fern, I'm sure it will be rolled out next year! xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans : It's already added to my playlist for next season! :-)
My sister used to insist on hosting Christmas at her place, get drunk, then tear down the decorations before the guests had left, declaring angrily "Christmas is over!" for no reason in particular. Then she'd get mad at me for never hosting at my place, even though no matter how I tried, she'd change plans with my parents behind my back so suddenly it'd be at her place. My ex used to make separate Santa present stacks for our son on his side of the room as if it were a contest of which the kid liked better. We weren't able to ever get a tree when he was here, and at the end he used Christmas by threatening to ruin it for our son if I didn't agree to stay with him when I told him I wanted to break up. For the last 5 years our Christmases have been nothing but bliss and joy. No narcs, just my new wife, son and I at home. We get a tree, we decorate, we listen to Christmas music, decorate cookies, and no one spoils the joy! Make every holiday a No Narc Zone. It's the only way to go. ^_^
Wow - yes, Christmas was always a gong show with my ex husband. It's difficult to articulate the worst experience, but I'll share the memory of Christmas when our daughter turned one year old, and my mother traveled 10 hours by car to be with us for Christmas. We had all planned on going downtown to enjoy a holiday parade of lights Christmas evening, however as dinner wrapped up and I was putting away all the left overs, my husband suddenly came down with a terrible headache and didn't want to go. He went up to the bedroom to lie down, and I followed him upstairs with a cup of tea and a cool cloth for his head. When I told him my mother and I were still going to take our daughter to the parade, adding that that way he could rest undisturbed for an hour or so, he became enraged that I would think of leaving him in that state... started yelling etc. I stood my ground and left with my mom and daughter.
When we returned (about 90 minutes later) I knew something was wrong as soon as I turned onto our street and found our house in complete darkness, with every other house lit up on the block. First thing I noticed was that all the Christmas lights on the house had been ripped down and left scattered across the driveway (this would have required getting out the extension ladder.) Upon entering the house, all the left over turkey and fixings from dinner had been thrown into the garbage, including all the boxes of baking my mom had brought with her. For the grand finale, the Christmas tree, and all gifts sitting under it that had not yet been put away, had been tossed unceremoniously into the backyard, ruining most of the heirloom ornaments of mine from childhood... his ornaments he had taken off.
So, I now understand better why this happened... although I am still at a loss as to how/if the situation might have been avoided. This is my first time sharing this memory as I've always felt it was too bizarre to be believed.
Christina Perry wow! hugs I've gone thru similar but never had the nerve to just go I applaud you for not falling for his game like I did, I ended up neglecting my family to cater to his needs until this past year!
Thanks, gypsy forest. This was toward the end of my marriage. I had been in counseling to build up my strength and learn some coping strategies for a couple of years when this situation occurred. My mother was a narcissist, too... so that particular night, I didn't feel strong enough to say "no" to her either... and she was determined to go to the parade. (I suspect she was actually trying to push my husband's buttons as well.) I didn't expect to come home to find all the destruction that he had done in the time we were away. The next morning, he behaved as if nothing had happened. Later in the day (when he realized I was not going to question him on his behaviours) he confronted me and stated that he always hated Christmas dragging on too long, and asked why I hadn't thanked him for putting all the Christmas decorations away. I couldn't even sidestep him... it didn't matter whether I said something, didn't say something, questioned or ignored his behaviour... there were severe consequences to pay at all times.
Christina Perry
You still in contact with your mother? Or she eventually wear out the relationship? Mine wore out her welcome in my life.
loupizza22, my mother died in 2005. Unfortunately, it took her death for me to break away from that relationship. On the upside, I no longer feel the guilt I had for several years following her death: maybe I could have done..., if only I'd said..., and all the rest of that horrible regret I held inside for never having been able to feel loved by her, for not being able to "fix" that relationship.
my narc stole from my wallet on christmas day 2018 and he didn't even care. he even had gifts under the tree too. He took everything back to the store to get cash and or sell the gift cards at the pawn shop for cash. Yes christmas was a nightmare.
My ex slapped me in the face and called me selfish for wanting to pick a restaurant on my birthday. She screamed: it’s the last time I’ll cater to your selfishness!
My dad and his wife never bought presents for me but i did for them and my sisters everytime they acted like it was normal so it felt normal while i watched them unrap. untill i went to chrismas with my ex. I got a present from his mother and cried my eyes out took me years to understand why i was emotional
My ex Narc didn't participate in Christmas festivities with my family and he disavowed his own family years ago. Either we fought, or he just wouldn't come with me to my sister's, where everything was going on. It didn't ruin my time with my family. I love my family! But, what it did to, was keep me mindful of the clock, as to "when" I needed to leave, cus it was a two hour drive home. He preferred to stay home alone. I had to make excuses for his not being there. I'm so happy to be free of this insanity! :D Merry Christmas Melanie!
I'm so happy for you too jofish420!! Have a brilliant Christmas this year sweetheart, love and blessings to you xoxox
He made my last three Christmas god awful but not this one. Couldn't if he tried I don't care about him no more & I am extremely happy now. So are my kids. We made it. But I still can't get rid of him lurking in my facebook.
I'd close down my FB account for a couple of months, then reopen under a different name... notify close friends of the change, and only let in the people whom you trust not to pass along the information to your former narcissistic partner.
Block him and set privacy settings and do not friend anyone you do not know even if they are friends with someone you do know. Also change settings so only friends can view your FB and make sure it's not set to friends and their friends can view your information... If that doesn't work, then just stay off FB for a while. Shut it down, and don't post things. You can text stuff to people you want to stay in contact with.
BLOCK!! You can also make a "restricted" list if there are friends you need to keep but do not want them to see everything on your Timeline. That will drive them crazy as they know you are there but they can't see what you are doing.
Facebook is all narcissists. Get out.
Omg. This was hilarious in the beginning. It's soooo spot on. The monologue of this video could be a christmas card. The ways they ruin Christmas are on the inside. Narc-ing out at Christmas been so repetitive after so many years, it's comical at this point. And dead on.
This is the time of year my narc older sister, who I have to live with, attacks me and my children, 14 grandchildren and great-grandchild. I tried to diffuse her trying to start an argument today with some of the tips I learned. It was actually funny to watch her sputter and fly into a mini-rage. I was unemotional and walked away. She will get violent if I didn't. Made me feel empowered and back in control. She tried many times today to re-engage her superiority and attack me, but I just deflected like a non-emotional ninja until she left to do some errands. She does expect me to clean the large house and do all the cooking for her family because she "has to work". As long as she's gone, I'm ok with that. Yeah!!!
Congratulation nalvar82!! Have a good holiday time xoxox
Think of the narc as a terminator robot or a creature. We are hurt because their behavior is so nonsensical when looked at from a human point of view. We are disappointed because our expectations a never met. Narcs are PREDATORS. You would not expect to receive an affectionate hug from a crocodile, would you?
Victory in Him
👍🏻🙏🏻
The terminator saves the kid, so no.
@@miawu8392 I think he means the villain
So glad I saw this.
Thank god I discarded this freaky for the Holidays. my husband I love the facts his ass will be scourge all alone.
62yr old grown child with the mentally of a six year old. there not a dame thing my husband after ten years of narc abuse can say nor his love balming immature lies. I'm at peace loving my freedom.
I love your closing comment - I'm at peace loving my freedom. Yay for you!
Cubbie Smith I envy you I wish my narc demon would fall back into the pit of HELL!
Cubbie Smith
So happy for you!
Right on Point! Thank you!
My narcissist decided to take this time to tell her little kids that santa didn't exist. They were just too happy and she couldn't bear to see them that way. So she poured the proverbial rain on their parade. Very sad, indeed.
One Christmas morning, my now "narc-ex" went out the front door and slammed it hard behind him. He didn't say anything to anyone. He was supposedly angry over something simple, but I know he had it all planned. Later that day, he left me a voicemail claiming that God had told him it was over between us and that he was going to spend the night over his "sister's" house. He had done these types of things on other holidays. But I had had enough! The very next day, I went to the courthouse and filed for a divorce. The narc came back a few days later, ranting and raving, like he hadn't done anything wrong. I'm so very glad that I finally got that madness out of my life for good. Narcs have absolutely no good sense!
This video is spot on. Every Christmas started with the Christmas tree fiasco. As an introduction, my mother was a narc and I was never allowed to decorate her awful fake tree because she had to do it her way. Understandably, I couldn't wait to get married and have my own little family traditions - you know - christmas songs and mulled wine while setting up the tree. Well, starting with our first Christmas, narc husband didn't like where i wanted to put the tree... this lead to a fight which gave him an excuse to sulk and leave me to do everything alone. Every year after that, it was a fight about something....where to put the tree, asking him a million times to help bring down the tree from the attic, a tantrum about the lights being tangled; you get the idea. He would just disengage from the entire process. Maybe once in a while he would deem to be social by sitting in the same room with the kids and me and watch us do the work. I finally didn't even expect him to take part in the tree tradition. He would just get really mean-spirited and generate negative energy. I am too embarrassed to mention how long I have been married to this man bearing the brunt of his gaslighting while trying to understand why he always turns on me especially when we have been getting along. I am finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that he will never change and will continue to be selfish. I have especially been appalled when he has been BLATANTlLY selfish (of course, not when others are around) without a shred of self consciousness about his cruelty. Amazing. I remember telling my shrink that he doesn;t love me nor probably ever did - and this was before I started watching the videos. The shrink wanted to know if I really believed that. I said, "yes, i know it". She didnt think I meant it. My eyes are now opened / my heart is closing. It has to or I will not survive.
Melanie.... I simply can't THANK YOU enough for all the wiseness you're giving me right now!!! I've been researching for quite a while, she's just discharged of a mental health+durg rehab clinic, and... guess what, everything just the same again. Specially the "ghosting" she's so fond of and completely destroys me. I've been reading a lot, but... you know when you finally hear something that "clicks"? That was YOU. And since it's been so long, i do feel completely enlightned and cured. Of course i will watch out on myself (thanks God i'm good at it), but honestly, it just feels like it all cleared out, and i FINALLY know what i've been thru. THANK YOU SO MUCH, I HAVE NO WORDS TO THANK YOU LONG ENOUGH!!!
Beibg abandoned by a narcissist is empirical proof of the existence if God. Giving us the opportunity to wake-up! Your Craig needs to wake up!!
A time when they get together & enjoy degrading me when they have each acted like they love me more than anything when each of them is alone with me. Entire shock every time.
Awe, Mya-Lia, I know the shock of this can be debilitating, when Narcisissts triangulate us in these ways. My heart goes out to you for this. The relief on the other side is awaiting you, Dear One. Love and blessings to you.xoxox
Thank you for posting. I was beginning to get wrapped (pun not intended) up in his fake niceness, and think this Christmas might actually be normal. This morning, Christmas Eve, he started his normal routine. This video brought me back to reality and gave me strength. Thank you and Merry Christmas.
You are SO welcome Love Books and merry christmas to you too xoxox
Narcissist alway take credit for everything you do or offer you to help others in their place.
Wow. Surreal. Describes most of my married Christmas's. Even the early ones when he was still on best behavior. Thank you so much for your healing work and words. Just beginning to climb out of the pit - lots of work ahead but this gives me hope! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and your subscribers.
Thank you Annie, Seasons Greeting to you too hun!! It is my absolute pleasure to offer my work for people to heal from narcissistic abuse and I'm thrilled for you that you are healing from it YAYA!! love and blessings to you xoxox
Mine last said he is so stressed out about family issues that he is always going to go to his parents and never to spend it with mine again. We spent it alone with no parents but day after I got called 'dirty greedy xxxx' ....... Also mine hated his birthday!
My aunt who adopted me when I was 7 years old, 2 years before my mom died, came for Christmas with her two daughters and used them to give me envelope with money(her money) and some card where they wrote how much they all love me, haha. She also hugged me and kissed me, all smiling, pretending like everything is perfectly fine.
I wasn't speaking at all with her for 10 months, not even a single word, since the end of the february, when she gave me silent treatment because I finally stood up for myself and called her out on her bullshit.
All that period she tried to provoke a reaction from me numerous times(digging through my personal stuff when I am not at home, opening envelope with my debit card PIN and taking it, etc, etc.)
And of course... Launching a huge smear campaign against me, telling all our relatives and especially to thoose who she completely isolated me from, lies that she doesnt speak with me because of the college I didnt finshed, and that she spent on that college thousands and thousands of dollars and ended up in huge debt because of me, together with her mother, my grandma, who she convinced to left me out of the will, to avoid sharing anything of inheritance with me.
She never paid a single dollar for my education, or helped me in any way financially, in fact she used me with adoption to get assistance money. Also this is a first time I got money as a present from her, usually I used to get shampoo for dandruff, clearly mans hoodies and I am a woman. It was always something very very cheap or something that has nothing to do with who I am and what I like.
I think this is a classic narc hoovering.
I am so mad how she used her own kids, to make me take that money and the fact that I am not working due to depression and huge anxiety. Its like they indirectly say to you: " I posses you, you will be my bitch again, sooner or later..."
How can I return this money? I know if I do that she will use it to drag me in a new conflict. They feed on that.
Its so sad and frustrating how these type of individuals put a person in a loose-loose situation. No matter what a person does they are in the wrong it seems. I guess thats their perceived power to make a person out to be whatever serves them. :/
Hi Shiny LittleStar, you are spot on hun - it is classic hoovering and using the money to do it with. The most important thing here, in my opinion, is to stay true to yourself and if you want to send the money back (so you have no ties to her) I am sure you can find a way to do this. Then be prepared for any 'fall out' behaviour. I would love you to connect to my resources to help you with this, so you can become more empowered, strong and completely aligned with your true self. And big Kudos to you. Love and blessings to you xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
This may help you further blog.melanietoniaevans.com/narcissistic-abuse-youre-damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-dont/
I wish these videos had been around when I was young, I could have got training on how to cut rotton boyfriend s out of my life and not wasted my time.
whisperingsage i wish i had to. But im free now. Thank God!
Gosh I couldn´t believe this was posted!...so essentially my narc father makes me go through mounts and valleys to buy nails and fix the decrepit kitchen table so that the visitors can eat there, then the visits come and trash it while moving it to the dining room, and he tries to guilt trip me saying i should have fixed it there already when he himself wouldn´t have allowed it....all the way while laughing with the shameless visitor who promises him to send a carpenter next week to fix the said table...can you believe the nerve of this guy?!? Lord give me patience!!
My wife is a narcissist we were married five years she left me on December 1 without warning this is the second Christmas she has destroyed and I thought it was just me I could not figure out what was going on so I started watching your videos and then I figured out what was really going on everything you have said has help me And made perfect sense I thought I was losing my mind why this relationship for five years has been hell She has stole money she’s gotten into my banking account she has cheated on me you name it I’m so down i’m getting a divorce I have cut off all contact yes I’m hurting but I will get over it one day With gods help thank you so much for your videos you have put things in so much perspective
You are so welcome S L.I 70, I am happy my videos have helped you. If you would like to heal these wounds and become the empowered person you truly are, I would love you to connect to my free resources for extra support xoxox
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
Great Video. Thanks, Miss Melanie. Love Your 'Accent'. You are 'Awesome'. God Bless You...
Thank you Miss Teri, I'm happy you liked it hun. Love and blessings to you xoxox
Thank You MELANIE
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
Thank YOU Denise and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too hun xoxox
hard when its family. my sister and I and now my son are involved in a narcissistic/ codependent situation. She has financial wealth and uses this to control us. my son is turning narc. im a codep. but can also vary as a narc when i get sick of being a codep. Its hard and our relationships struggle... pray for us to heal from the narc co dep spirit!!!
Heartbreakingly accurate 😐
My friend's Narc husband had a stroke. It was amazing to see how my friend handled it. It was awesome. She took him to the hospital, made sure he was settled, and then left. He tried to guilt her into staying. 😆But she quickly reminded him: You said I was your roommate, only a wife stays. She walked out and hasnt returned. He can't use his arm for anything.
I've been subscribed to your channel for a while now . I often try not to watch the videos only because it reminds me of the narc ive been working with for 18 years at the same job and my blood starts to boil and I get anxious shaky sweating . He just gets on my nerves so bad that my mind of filled with negative thoughts about this prick and my mind go into a over thinking overdose of anger and confusion I just want to jump out of my skin .
Hi Silverss - have you taken it to the next step? Healing those wounds inside of your body will release the 'blood starts to boil', anxiety, shaky and sweating so when you think of him or are in his company you will feel NOTHING. I would love you to show you how to do this and invite you to my free webinar so you can experience a healing for yourself - www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xoxox
This has truly saved my life.
You are loved very much Melanie
100% confirmed he definitely was a narcissist! He hated Christmas with a whole new passion that I have ever seen. I wish I had watched this video last year.
We disappear if we are leaving the narc. How do we distinguish safely getting away without warning the narc from behaving like one and avoiding? My experience of narc mothers and golden child narcs at Christmas is absolutely the 6! We detached when the narc decided to bully me and then push me to stay home and only send my spouse. Of course she blew up and it took years to get clear! "Narcs and presents" made me shiver!
Opportunities for healing from these ordeals seem to be revealing themselves. Healing and healed is the best kind of gift which keeps on giving other than love.
Given 5 huge slabs of chocolate for xmas after losing 2 stone!
I am going no contact for 6 months now. After watching this it feels like I am a bad person, because of course no contact was hurting others. Although it wasn't my attention to hurt, but to protect my self. Big cognitive dissonance. :( (every month i am feeling better and better. I was afraid of Christmas so much. But everything went well even on the night before Christmas, I had a good time. I enjoyed my company. But then it hit me like a rock: feelings of guilt, and shame, thoughts like: "how can i be such a bad person, after all the good they have done to me. I must be a narcisist." And the opposite thoughts: "I couldn't spend a minute with them on the Christmas, all those silent fights and threats, and shaming and blaming if I was not doing everything perfectly at the perfect moment..." and thoughts like: " they are always happy seeing me, but within few hours everything changed to something dark.... i can not take any step into that house anymore, although it seems like i am welcome, like everything is beautiful..... i can't....just can't....everything seems like a lie... and all this confusion this is causing me: even if I am not with them, I feel confused...... if I make a contact, I fall apart...." Best to all. Happy New Year.
timo tej I try to forgive... These people won't allow that.. They attack any chance they can.
After hearing the first two my emotions are going crazy. And thank you for this reminder.
You are so welcome jingo zabs!! xoxox
True it's so true.....
My narc of a husband didn't get our 2 yr old son His only son anything for Christmas. This being going on for two years.
Mine just promises gifts and never gives them. Has done that for 3 years now lol. I really hope all of you ignore yours and/or handle it the true and proper way. Don't give in! Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas IlHaz3rdll xoxox
Mine promises me gifts then causes a row so he can ghost and then it's his excuse why I never receive anything
Except his coldness
When he started that s*** years ago "I'm not going!" I used to get so upset like someone pulled the rug out from under me or punched me in the stomach. And my mother used to shame me because I couldn't control him if I showed up without him. she was a b****. Yeah I would suggest just do everything without this person tell them they're not invited. I would suggest doing this early. in the relationship. Better yet save yourself a lifetime of Hell.Get out before it's too late!
Susanne C k
I'm glad you mentioned love bombing. As a "mom" my mom used this a lot and around Christmas. She did want everything to be about her. I was once at a party with her and she was having very loud conversation that prevented me from speaking with a Stanford who had a hearing problem. When I politely said you are very loud, I can't hear this Stanford professor I'm talking to... She didn't care in the least. Her son was speaking to a Stanford professor and her son would get published in his field as a Master's student that December but it was more important for her to be the center of attention and my conversation with a Stanford professor came second.
this was amazing! loved the points you made and examples...so spot on and the end was great especially about being present for your children and keeping open space for yourself...⭐⭐❄⭐⭐❄
I'm ready Melanie and I'm signing up for your starter program. I'm taking baby steps as things have been financially hard. Thank you so much!
Oh my gosh, that's wonderful news!! You're going to love the ebooks and there's an invitation in there for you , too!! Love and blessings. xoxox
Yes I'm in!!! You're right...enough is enough! I have been putting up with this shit (excuse me) for a long time now and have decided to cut the cord on someone I thought was closest to me despite all I had suffered in my life. I need some guidance so thank you and blessings
You're welcome love.
xx
All of these Co-narcissists need help. Theyre all devoid of any self esteem. The focus needs to be on their own lives and learning how to stop trying to please an overgrown spoilt brat
I spent Christmas alone this year and it was a bit sad at times but it was preferable to being around my emotionally abusive family. Spending Christmas with my family would have been even more depressing and distressing. I opened the presents left for me and I cried. Each present was like a little stab to my heart, expressions of how little my family cares or knows me. In my family there was always a big song and dance at Christmas and millions of presents but no warmth or love. My reaction to the presents probably sounds horrible but I would prefer no presents and a genuine hug, heartfelt card or a home cooked meal. You know the saying "it's the thought that counts?" well what about if there is absolutely no thought put in. Things like a dress that is too small even though we just recently discussed my size, a packet of 3 sets of tights but with only one set of tights in it, items I'm allergic to, items regifted to me that I had given etc...
Aww Evie - big ((HUGS)) Sweetheart. Do you have the NARP program to help you? www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/narc-abuse-recovery.htm There will be extra support and members of the Community in the NARP Forum to support you all with understanding and unconditional love. If not, I would love you to connect to my free resources to help you www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse You are not alone. Love and blessings to you xoxox
I want to know: Are narcissists aware of what they're doing when they do these things or is it some subconscious instinctive-like reaction to negative emotions? Do they plan their behavior in advance or is it something that comes naturally without conscious thought? Maybe its a combination of the two?
Yes they know. Its deliberate. Shocking eh ? Its easier to believe that they're socially retarded, upset by something extreme that they won't tell you about, anything other than deliberate sabotage . Even when its predictable its hard to believe they're actually doing it on purpose.
Hi TheInsensitiveGentleman, I believe it is a combination of the two and I discuss this in this blog, which may help you with your question too blog.melanietoniaevans.com/does-the-narcissist-know-what-he-or-she-is-doing/ xoxox
I watched this too and I'd go with the brain being wired differently. Have watched the same predictable scenarios repeatedly unfold tho like they're following a script year after year after year. Good videos.
So another name for a narc is a grinch...🎅
Ur amazing. I've just ended things with my partner ov 8 years. Thanku thanku thanku ❤ u are a genuine god send. Bless u. And I hope u and ur family have a wonderful Christmas lovely 😊❤ xxxxxx
Thank you Jojo, have a good one too hun!! xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans thanku...and much love xxxxx
He broke it off the 9th. The 29th invites me to play a game he originally declined the 10th. He deleted my number I noticed. Though weak as water I declined. He wasn't happy, but I made no explanation. Surely he has other toys. Thanks you nailed it concerning this year and others. One year he lied about putting up the fantastic decorations. The roommate told me a friend did it, a decorator. I am finally getting wise. Prayers of comfort, safety, strength and wisdom to all who suffer from the actions of mean people.
Much appreciation and thanks to you. It's been a year now that I've been listening and taking your advice, it's helped more than I can express. Thank you for your work ❤️
You are so welcome nunya and it is my absolute pleasure to share my work and help people heal from narcissistic abuse. Keep thriving hun!! xoxox
Hello, Mel!! Been awhile...Merry Christmas to you! 18 months NC since you and I met! Thanks much to you! Grateful for all you do!! Many blessings! I spent mine N-free with genuine and real people! AT LONG LAST!
That;s so great Angela, Merry Christmas to you too and I am so pleased you are doing so well xoxoxo
I couldn’t understand why I was getting so anxious and stressed out at Christmas every year and this year I finally realized why!? He’s a Narcissist!!! He likes to buy me extravagant gifts then completely humiliates me in front of everyone when he opens my gifts to him. He would say “oh that’s not what I wanted” when he pointed it out. Say “you got better stuff then me” after he said don’t buy me anything “these aren’t the ones I like” even though it’s exactly what he asked for etc. He would make the kids wait forever until he decided to wake up. He even bought his own gifts and had me wrap them and then complain! It is nuts! He’s a total GRINCH!!!
Thankyou very much. Happy Christmas. x
Teresa, you are most welcome and a beautiful Christmas to you too! Love and blessings xoxox
My ex narc always used to act up during the Christmas holidays like clockwork.
Just dreaded Christmas. She would sit by the tree on Christmas morning either shouting or with a scowl on her face. Angry about pretty much everything. She liked to keep you guessing on what presents she wanted. After finally pinning her down and getting her exactly what she asked for she would open her presents and say "Why did you get me this?" One Christmas her parents came almost 3000 kms to spend the holidays with us. I had set up a videocamera to catch Christmas morning and despite knowing the camera was on she still had a screaming narcissistic fit. I am so tempted to download it on TH-cam. I can't say I am finally free of her. It will take years.
I am holding my breath waiting for my narcissist mother to call to 'wish me a Merry Christmas'
Get prepared MIFNP, keep it brief and focused on her and then forget the phone call when it's done. If you have NARP, then take any feelings/emotions that come up to a Module so you can release it all and get on with your day - enjoying yourself. Love and blessings xoxox
Yep
When our kids were little he would make getting ready for Christmas and actual Christmas AWFUL by picking fights, trying to prevent me from buying presents, going out drinking with his friends on Christmas Day and leaving me alone with the kids and endless little passive aggressive behaviors to ruin Christmas. Now that my kids are older (and will remember these days) he is friendly and full of festive spirit, picking out gifts and decorating with them when I'm busy with other things. But I can stay strong knowing what I know from pages like this. Otherwise I would be in a total mental downward spiral but I know he is a narcissist and it helps me make sense of this and accept it. After all the Christmases he crapped all over, to have him take it all over and laugh merrily while he decorates the tree with the kids is sickening. But I know what I know and I choose to focus on the fact that at least my kids are happy and enjoying it.
Oh my gosh, so exactly true! and just so happens my narcs name is Ted. Thanksgiving 2018 I did all the house work and cooked and prepared everything for 8 people, the narc didn't lift a finger to help. Instead he spent 2 hours in the bathroom attempting to make himself look perfect for everybody to see. Unbeknownst to him everyone thought he was rude for disappearing so long. When it came time to carve the turkey, he tried to be the man (not), and instead of carving the turkey, he butchered it. It looked like a wild animal ripped into it. I was no more good lmao!
He did not impress anyone, but of course he couldn't see that!
My narcissist's father passed away on Christmas day (almost 20 yrs ago). My narc acts out HORRIBLY!!!!!
Holidays became difficult for me because of PTSD. When the holidays are coming I HAVE to take care of myself and know what the plan is...I can't just "wing" it. I USED to be Mrs. Santa Claus and the elf who made everyone's Christmas awesome. I need to stay in that role with kind people and allow myself time to be still and let the dark emotions pass.
This is so true.
My farher just appear yesterday without notice. They also use hoidays to pull you back
Omg yes to everything! In my case, the narc ex husband is born on Christmas day so double whammy lol.
Oh no Monishaa!! Double Whammy - definitely!! Keep thriving hun xoxox
Thank you
You are so welcome Mad Marc xoxox
We Wouldn't Get To Address That Holidays Were About Family Only Through My Mothers Family... My Dad Would Say It Was Just Another Day.. Even Your Birthday...Was Not Important... But My Moms Family Would Do The Opposite....Have Us Christmas Presents & Birthday Parties.... Dad Didn't Like My Moms Family...
My ex narc preferred to help a random work colleague move house on Dec 24 instead spending it with his family! Thank God he is out of my life and out of my Christmasses 🎉
My mother was Christine in the story and dad was just like the father in the story, i attract narcs.
My ex cheated on me and let me find out Christmas day. Announced his other relationship. No explanation to me. His gf. This year he told me he wanted to be friends, Ive been going no contact but replied to him and he cut me off, blocked me for no reason whatsoever after telling me he needed me, etc. Trying to form a bond and attachment. Still cruel!
He took my son 10 days before xmas and hasn't given me him back. My other 3 children are devastated. I have residence in a court order but he doesn't care! Not sure how to handle that
Hi Pamela, if you are working with NARP (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program) take all the fears and feelings to a Module to shift out and replace with Source light and energy - let the 'I don't know what to do' solutions come through to you, and go from there. There are times you have to take action and call in authorities to help and guide you. Love and blessings to you xoxox
I remember the narc tried to fight with me so he can go elsewhere but at this time I was used to getting him back so he was getting ready to go with another supply but I stole his car keys and left in my own car. He was pissed he couldn’t find his keys and Locked me and our baby out this house not even knowing I had his keys.
He bought me things that I would never use or weren't meant for me...more like for himself. It's as if he didnt know me even though he knew exactly what I wanted when he hoovered me back..yeah I fell for it but no more now that I have educated myself.
Thank you so much for your videos! My sister is the narc who tries to ruin every holiday not just Christmas. My Birth Day, Thanksgiving, New Years. Heck she'd ruin Presidents Day if she got the chance. She even fixed it so I had no emotional support from my family when I was dealing with Heart issues and worried every day for about 3 years that I was going to die! I have spotted several of your videos I will be watching. I was wondering though if there are any that are more targeted to Sibling and Parental Narcissistic Abuse?
Hello Sweet Pea,
Yes, we do have several resources that can help you with this. If you email a request with this question to support@melanietoniaevans.com, they can give you several but here are a couple to get you started:
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-if-the-narcissist-is-a-family-member/Should You Go No Contact With A Family Member?th-cam.com/video/TNYJJkft03k/w-d-xo.html
Much love xx
Thank you SO MUCH! May God Bless You for what you are doing for so many people!
OMG TY. Wish me luck.
I've never seen my sister help at any family gathering ever, and she's 55 now. She'll say "Can I do anything?" But she doesn't mean it. She'll have to make a phone call or something if anybody actually says yes. Or she claims to be bad at that task, or remind everyone that she doesn't cook or her fibromyalgia is bothering her or her feet (she weighs 300 lbs). She's always treated my mom & me like we're a hotel when she comes to visit.
Strange question, can you be turned into a narcissist after narcissistic abuse?
Hi Shelly, not a strange question hun. This blog will answer your question fully blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-narcissist-and-co-dependent-two-sides-of-the-same-coin/, however, narcissistic abuse is about gaining supply for the narcissist and to do that the narc behaviour is ramped up over time to gain a reaction - hence the 'victim's' responses can become narcissistic in nature. The narcissist projects their wounds onto you too. Please be assured if you were a true narcissist you wouldn't have asked the question Dear Lady. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/am-i-the-narcissist/ Love and blessings to you xoxox
I thank you for your response. I have been reading and watching the videos you supply. I believe that it is helpful to understand the "nature" of this beast. I am unsure however of the actual Quantum Healing aspect. It is something I simply cannot wrap my head around at this point. I do however see that others find benefit in it and that is what counts in the end. Again, thank you.
My narcissist sister who i was upset that she has no time for me during the holidays blocked me from her Facebook feeds , this crush me and broke my heart so I removed all of her friends and her from my Facebook and blocked her on my phone now she is scratching her head wondering why my behaviour .
I know a few narcissists. They're probably spoiling someone else's celebrations because I totally detached from them.
Omg on Christmas as well as birthdays I remember...... and every year I thought it would be better. Took seven years to run , now am being harassed😶
He called65 times the day after Christmas
Hang on, I'm a Grinch right up until the last few days before Christmas, I am terrified that I'm a narcissistic at Xmas & feel that nobody wants me around because I can start fights when I run into dishonest willfully ignorant people. I also have addiction problems but I can control my anxiety most of the time though it used to be outa control.
One Christmas, my father in law started yelling at me while his sister was trying to take a picture of me and my husband at a family gathering. "You better smile or i'm gonna come over there and beat your ass!!!" That night he then told my husband "leave her before she gets pregnant and you're stuck with her forever." His sister defended him with the whole "oh that's just how he is. You have to ignore him and forgive him..."
I'm dealing with this right now and I don't no how to deal with this😔 I'm so lost for words . I love her so much but she' saying to give her time . What should I do , I need advice ...
Hi Lance, Turn the focus on yourself hun, give her time and in the meantime work on healing your own wounds so you can focus on your own life. This blogs may help a little blog.melanietoniaevans.com/difference-between-authentic-and-narcissistic-relationships/ Love and blessings to you xoxox
My Mom uses her annual party to hurt people by selective invitation then claims everyone knows the date and all are welcome. Even after one cousin said it would be nice if someone knew when it was. I just avoid my entire family because of their games there are at least 3 narcissist and I am always the scapegoat.