I have been struggling with this a lot lately because I have a 5 month old and a 2 year old and I feel done. I never thought I would say that after two, I've always wanted a big family but I honestly don't think I have the selflessness and the patience to stretch myself any thinner than I already have been. That said, when I look long term at Thanksgiving, Christmas, adult life, family dinners, Christmas morning, etc. I 100% envision 4 kids, like no doubt about it. But it's easy to envision 4 kids when you aren't with them day in and out trying to make every single one happy and feel loved and attended to. It breaks my heart so so much to say I think I am done.
2 was hard, people told me it would be easier after that and they were so right. It seems counterintuitive, but it really was so much easier having my 3rd, even with the kiddos being close together in age. hang in there 😉
Wait until your youngest is at least 5yrs old to decide that you’re done. I have 4 kids and now that my youngest is 5yrs old, I wish we could have more. Babies are such a blessing!
I have been battling the decision to add a third or not. My heart burns for another but there are days where my 2 stretch me so thin I can't comprehend how it'll be with 3. I don't want a 3rd if it'll hinder the 2 I already have, but that burning desire for a 3rd doesn't want to go away.
@@EnglishwithHemayed I look at things I’ll be looking forward to doing when my kids are older that I couldn’t do with ease with a baby. Amusement parks, going to the movies, restaurants, traveling, etc.
Thank you. I originally didn't think I would have kids. Now I have 2. 1 is 7 and the other is 5 months. I'm contemplating a 3rd! Life's journey is truly magical. Thank you for your support and wisdom.
I never comment on videos but I just would like to tell you that I have listened to this video more than 6 times over the past couple of years. I come back to it every time I feel "klucky" or indecisive about whether to have more kids or not. This is one of the wisest videos on the topic that I have found online. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and advice! It has helped me tremendously! 🌸
its an interesting thing; i rember 2things the day we brought my daughter home; #1 I looked at ALL my family and said "I will NEVER look at the VAS Deferens the same" AND I also said "it was an amazing once in a life time experience" and I do agree with you, its not ANY ones decisions but YOURSELFE!!!!!!
I’ve known since I was five that I’ve wanted at least two kids two or three years apart. Hasn’t changed and I’m 22 now. I mean, still no kids and I’m waiting to find that special someone, but I’ll be okay. I’ll find them one day.
I want another but my husband doesn’t. The desire has been very strong lately and I’ve been praying for months that God take the desire away from me if it isn’t meant to be and to help me feel like the fam is complete and leave it alone. I’ve thought about taking the IUD out and letting whatever happens happen, but then there’s my husband that doesn’t want another... there’s no easy way to have peace about it that I’ve found. No easy answer 😢
This is something that I've struggled with lately and my prayer is more so for God to have my husband and I on the same page, regardless of which direction it is, whether it's me changing my mind or him changing his. Praying that you and your husband to share the desire that God intends 🧡
This was THE most down-to-earth videos I’ve seen about deciding to expand or not. I felt like this was the heart to heart I needed today. Thanks for posting! :0)
Wow, this was so helpful. Thank you! We actually only have one child and at the moment we feel like our family is complete... But we get a lot of negative opinions from others about it. I love that in this video you focused on NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS!!! Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this 😄
My husband and I both had children prior to our marriage. We have a 9 month old together, the pregnancy was a little rough because he was so big and I didn’t sleep much. Not even 20 minutes after delivery I told my husband I wanted another one. We spoke of having another one and saw another baby in our future, we even purchased a home with an extra bedroom for our future chicken nugget. It’s been a little rough working from home and being a SAHM, my husband works 12 hour shifts and there are times I do feel like I’m “alone.” We haven’t been actively trying. We had an uh-o moment during “exercise” and it was at the peak of ovulation I felt scared that I could be. My husband came home last night and has done a complete 180 now saying we shouldn’t have another one, insinuating that if I were in fact pregnant he doesn’t want to go through with it, we should focus on traveling, he thinks it will be too much for me etc. I’m conflicted because while raising another one will be hard I did want to experience it one more time going in with the idea that “this is it”
I needed this because i am 25 with two age 3 & 1. I know im young but, i been through a lot my first baby father is in jail for dv for over 40 years and my second is okay but, doesnt see his son and doesn't care to so anything but, financially. I want to go back to school etc and i feel like my family ia complete now but, everyone tells me im young
Amazing video I can def. relate very much!! I have a 3yr old & a 2yr old, & I have been on the border line of having a 3rd child so many pros & cons in between. The thought of having the 2nd child feeling left out, or even the 3rd because they're smaller than the other 2, it makes me jump into the thought of well I can also wait another year & have 2 babies back-to-back & make it a 4 instead of 3 wth! But after seeing your video I think the 3rd can complete our family. Thank you for sharing your experience!
So interesting that you stated you avoided the number 3 that was me!. I am wondering why you did not want 3 for me I worried about an odd man out kind of situation. Can you expand on that ? what was your initial fear of 3 and also can I ask do your kids ever seem to pair off and is one left out with 3?
What do you do when you get baby fever? I don't want more kids. It feels complete, but I'm terrified of weakening and getting pregnant again. 🥺 I hate pregnancy 🙈
Yeah I think I was born broken a little bit cuz I do not have that instinct with the newborn thing. Once we had our son that entire drive just disappeared for me completely. I struggled so bad with the first two years of our son's life and was borderline miserable thinking about having a newborn again just sends me to a pretty dark place. For me though I don't get to decide how many kids I have God gets to decide that because struggled with infertility. So I just don't take birth control and if we end up with a second it'll be another little miracle
God made our cycles in a way that we are able to know when we can fall pregnant and when we can’t. Someone women do have irregular cycles and that makes it harder to track , due to environment, diet, etc, but for the most part we can tell when we are able to conceive or not. I think this is so us women can naturally have a say in if we want to fall pregnant or not. It’s not just up to god, it’s up to us too :)
@@user-hi6nm9od2l I mean I'm certain that's part of it but this was beyond that as well. I don't do well with crying babies. It shoots my cortisol levels through the roof and it takes forever to come back down. So I was literally using every ounce of anything I had everyday all day and everyday I started with less and less ability to deal. I really do not like babies. I know that it's difficult to understand for other women. They can't figure out why I don't like babies but I don't and I could be perfectly happy and fine and at the end of a week with a baby I'm strung out and stressed.
@@ick567 yeah that's not how it works when you actually struggle from a medical problem... I was off birth control from the age of 22 and I had my son at 30. Had nothing to do with timing.
@@lynnb2562 your feelings are 100% valid A lot of people probably feel this way but are afraid to say so. I appreciate that in a person. Hope your wrll
7:30 she wouldn’t be able to care for the children she has if she had another child at the apparently healthy, youthful stage of life she is at. I can’t imagine what must be going on. Best of luck with everything Ms.
As a mom of 5, let me say that being busy with 3 is the same as being busy with 5. It's really that much harder to add one more, or two more ... I know you said you're done, but let me assure you that if you want one more, you won't regret it.
Looking at my son, my answer is : I am so blessed to have him. I am done.
I have been struggling with this a lot lately because I have a 5 month old and a 2 year old and I feel done. I never thought I would say that after two, I've always wanted a big family but I honestly don't think I have the selflessness and the patience to stretch myself any thinner than I already have been. That said, when I look long term at Thanksgiving, Christmas, adult life, family dinners, Christmas morning, etc. I 100% envision 4 kids, like no doubt about it. But it's easy to envision 4 kids when you aren't with them day in and out trying to make every single one happy and feel loved and attended to. It breaks my heart so so much to say I think I am done.
Give yourself time and grace. 5 months postpartum is still super early and it’s HARD.
2 was hard, people told me it would be easier after that and they were so right. It seems counterintuitive, but it really was so much easier having my 3rd, even with the kiddos being close together in age. hang in there 😉
@@bernadettegalvin7768 Aww thanks!! That makes me feel better about my desire for more... what made having a third easier than two???
Wait until your youngest is at least 5yrs old to decide that you’re done. I have 4 kids and now that my youngest is 5yrs old, I wish we could have more. Babies are such a blessing!
Wait for it, you will have your 4 if it is meant to be.
I have been battling the decision to add a third or not. My heart burns for another but there are days where my 2 stretch me so thin I can't comprehend how it'll be with 3. I don't want a 3rd if it'll hinder the 2 I already have, but that burning desire for a 3rd doesn't want to go away.
What do you do to resist the urge?
@@EnglishwithHemayed I look at things I’ll be looking forward to doing when my kids are older that I couldn’t do with ease with a baby. Amusement parks, going to the movies, restaurants, traveling, etc.
Oh man I feel this
Me too
Thank you. I originally didn't think I would have kids. Now I have 2. 1 is 7 and the other is 5 months. I'm contemplating a 3rd! Life's journey is truly magical. Thank you for your support and wisdom.
You're very welcome. :)
I never comment on videos but I just would like to tell you that I have listened to this video more than 6 times over the past couple of years. I come back to it every time I feel "klucky" or indecisive about whether to have more kids or not. This is one of the wisest videos on the topic that I have found online. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and advice! It has helped me tremendously! 🌸
This is such an encouraging comment! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. :)
its an interesting thing; i rember 2things the day we brought my daughter home; #1 I looked at ALL my family and said "I will NEVER look at the VAS Deferens the same" AND I also said "it was an amazing once in a life time experience" and I do agree with you, its not ANY ones decisions but YOURSELFE!!!!!!
I’ve known since I was five that I’ve wanted at least two kids two or three years apart. Hasn’t changed and I’m 22 now. I mean, still no kids and I’m waiting to find that special someone, but I’ll be okay. I’ll find them one day.
I have two girls 5 & 3, I'm thinking about one more but I am terrified to do it again.
I want another but my husband doesn’t. The desire has been very strong lately and I’ve been praying for months that God take the desire away from me if it isn’t meant to be and to help me feel like the fam is complete and leave it alone. I’ve thought about taking the IUD out and letting whatever happens happen, but then there’s my husband that doesn’t want another... there’s no easy way to have peace about it that I’ve found. No easy answer 😢
Prayer to God to change your husbands heart ♥️
Take it out & have another! He married you.
This is something that I've struggled with lately and my prayer is more so for God to have my husband and I on the same page, regardless of which direction it is, whether it's me changing my mind or him changing his. Praying that you and your husband to share the desire that God intends 🧡
@@xc143 thank you! I appreciate the prayers!
I am so done having kids. Pregnancy was the worst. That's how I made my decision.
I'm sure many women can relate!
This was THE most down-to-earth videos I’ve seen about deciding to expand or not. I felt like this was the heart to heart I needed today. Thanks for posting! :0)
I'm so very glad it was helpful to you.
Wow, this was so helpful. Thank you! We actually only have one child and at the moment we feel like our family is complete... But we get a lot of negative opinions from others about it. I love that in this video you focused on NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS!!! Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this 😄
My husband and I both had children prior to our marriage. We have a 9 month old together, the pregnancy was a little rough because he was so big and I didn’t sleep much. Not even 20 minutes after delivery I told my husband I wanted another one. We spoke of having another one and saw another baby in our future, we even purchased a home with an extra bedroom for our future chicken nugget. It’s been a little rough working from home and being a SAHM, my husband works 12 hour shifts and there are times I do feel like I’m “alone.” We haven’t been actively trying. We had an uh-o moment during “exercise” and it was at the peak of ovulation I felt scared that I could be. My husband came home last night and has done a complete 180 now saying we shouldn’t have another one, insinuating that if I were in fact pregnant he doesn’t want to go through with it, we should focus on traveling, he thinks it will be too much for me etc. I’m conflicted because while raising another one will be hard I did want to experience it one more time going in with the idea that “this is it”
Did your husband tell you to ab*rt your child? Or did I misunderstand?
I needed this because i am 25 with two age 3 & 1. I know im young but, i been through a lot my first baby father is in jail for dv for over 40 years and my second is okay but, doesnt see his son and doesn't care to so anything but, financially. I want to go back to school etc and i feel like my family ia complete now but, everyone tells me im young
Im 34 and hope after fibroids are removed that ill have kids i want 4 kids
Amazing video I can def. relate very much!! I have a 3yr old & a 2yr old, & I have been on the border line of having a 3rd child so many pros & cons in between. The thought of having the 2nd child feeling left out, or even the 3rd because they're smaller than the other 2, it makes me jump into the thought of well I can also wait another year & have 2 babies back-to-back & make it a 4 instead of 3 wth! But after seeing your video I think the 3rd can complete our family. Thank you for sharing your experience!
So interesting that you stated you avoided the number 3 that was me!. I am wondering why you did not want 3 for me I worried about an odd man out kind of situation. Can you expand on that ? what was your initial fear of 3 and also can I ask do your kids ever seem to pair off and is one left out with 3?
I needed this. I love newborns.
They're pretty wonderful. :)
I had PPD with my 2nd (he was in the NICU so I think that contributed to it). I keep debating a third but I don’t know it I want to risk it.
What do you do when you get baby fever? I don't want more kids. It feels complete, but I'm terrified of weakening and getting pregnant again. 🥺 I hate pregnancy 🙈
It helps that my husband is for sure done with having more kids.
What's your accent? American? Australian? NZ?
Thank you for this ❤️
Thank you for this video .
My pleasure
Yeah I think I was born broken a little bit cuz I do not have that instinct with the newborn thing. Once we had our son that entire drive just disappeared for me completely. I struggled so bad with the first two years of our son's life and was borderline miserable thinking about having a newborn again just sends me to a pretty dark place. For me though I don't get to decide how many kids I have God gets to decide that because struggled with infertility. So I just don't take birth control and if we end up with a second it'll be another little miracle
It sounds like you could possibly suffered PPD like I did
God made our cycles in a way that we are able to know when we can fall pregnant and when we can’t. Someone women do have irregular cycles and that makes it harder to track , due to environment, diet, etc, but for the most part we can tell when we are able to conceive or not. I think this is so us women can naturally have a say in if we want to fall pregnant or not. It’s not just up to god, it’s up to us too :)
@@user-hi6nm9od2l I mean I'm certain that's part of it but this was beyond that as well. I don't do well with crying babies. It shoots my cortisol levels through the roof and it takes forever to come back down. So I was literally using every ounce of anything I had everyday all day and everyday I started with less and less ability to deal. I really do not like babies. I know that it's difficult to understand for other women. They can't figure out why I don't like babies but I don't and I could be perfectly happy and fine and at the end of a week with a baby I'm strung out and stressed.
@@ick567 yeah that's not how it works when you actually struggle from a medical problem... I was off birth control from the age of 22 and I had my son at 30. Had nothing to do with timing.
@@lynnb2562 your feelings are 100% valid
A lot of people probably feel this way but are afraid to say so. I appreciate that in a person. Hope your wrll
7:30 she wouldn’t be able to care for the children she has if she had another child at the apparently healthy, youthful stage of life she is at. I can’t imagine what must be going on. Best of luck with everything Ms.
As a mom of 5, let me say that being busy with 3 is the same as being busy with 5. It's really that much harder to add one more, or two more ... I know you said you're done, but let me assure you that if you want one more, you won't regret it.
👍🙏
Don’t think about it. Just get pregnant - the more the merrier 🤗
This was the best response I ever came across
Dont have any.
Lol. God