I've been seeing my therapist for almost 3 years now and I feel like I just recently really let her "in". I had always liked her and knew she was one of my strongest supports, but I didn't really start feeling completely comfortable sharing everything or even actually letting myself cry until maybe 2 months ago!
For me, I was very angry that I was “forced” to get help for my eating disorder, so I decided to not say anything. The first therapist I saw was all “why don’t you want to talk?” and tried to make guesses about and I just didn’t like her. The second therapist I saw was like “you don’t want to talk? well, that’s fine, I can’t make you talk. I still expect you to follow your meal plan and gain weight though, but if you don’t want to talk, that’s fine”. It was sooo provocative, but at the same time I knew I had found my match. She just kind of reflected my stubbornness, and I guess I felt a connection. She ended up helping me a lot!
I find it takes me a few sessions to get comfortable with a new therapist. I find the first session always feel like an interrogation and it's hard to do that over and over again with every new therapist.
I HATE the first appointment. Even with like a doctor, not just a therapist. So when I went into my most recent therapists office I literally handed her the forms I'd been asked to fill out downstairs and told her were skipping the bullshit of family, and who do I live with. Previous care, etc. Then just talked VERY awkwardly about an abundance of things for the next hour. She didn't say I couldnt... and I did so big whoop.
This is so true. My therapist I can tell basically anything to. Its someone who I say things I wouldn't normally tell anyone but its good because she can really help me process things and deal with those personal thoughts and such.
My current therapist I found through the Roman Catholic diocese in our area and she gave me free therapy when I first started seeing her. Now I have insurance and she splits my copay, because things are still tight. She's just really nice and affirms me when I'm on the right track and clues me in when I'm driving myself nuts. Another therapist that I had was just super empathic and compassionate and knew how to do EMDR which helped me process some tough stuff.
I had a therapist i hated and that's sort of one of the reasons i started my disordered eating and self harm. I ended up in the hospital. It really actually matters if you like them. Im getting better now because i have one i love again.
I had a great connection with my therapist. I was really nervous but she helped me feel more comfortable, and now a year later, I'm still seeing her. :) I just felt that it was a good fit. Thanks again for another great video, Kati!
Also, heres some video idea's: -Coming back after being in a hospital- I've was lost and had a hard transition the times I went back home after inpatient -DBT-(If you use it) -is it ok to be vegetarian/ vegan (or have a special diet) while recovering from an ED -is being a therapist a good idea after struggling with mental illness for so long Just Some Suggestions, also your video's are great! =)
you are so right about that spark. i have had the best and most helpful theraputic relationships with people whom i felt i could be friends with. Even years later i still communicate with 2 of them through cards or email. i have also had a few that i just didnt click with. it takes time and can be a frustrating process, but its so worth it when you find the right person.
I have two therapists now. I live in Australia and the government only give you 10 free sessions a year, then I have had to use my insurance but that still costs me $50 per session. So now I see two, I have only just started see the psychologist at uni because it is free. With my first therapist (which I am still seeing) it took me a while to warm up to him, only because I hadn't been in therapy before. It was hard, scary, overwhelming, and stressful the first 10 minutes but he made me feel comfortable straight away. I think it was like 3 sessions until we connected fully. It does get easier to see someone over time. The therapist I have recently started seeing, I have a very strong connection with him, we clicked straight away. It helped having previous therapy experience so to speak, lol. You just know that they are the right one. I can't explain it but say you will just know. I can take a few sessions, but I also believe if they are not the right one you will know straight away, you won't want to reveal much to them and won't have that urge and pounding heart to get whatever it is off your chest.
+Kylie Stutchbury I can fully agree with you! I met my current therapist more than a year ago and from the second I heard her voice when she called me for my phone interview, I knew that it was with her I wanted to work with. But before seeing her I was seeing another one that my parents chose for me and it was literally a nightmare. That woman didn't get me. She did not understand any of my problems and it seemed she was working with me to only get an extra $80 per week. But with my current therapist, she knows my patterns and helps me a lot with that.
Loved this topic! I had my share of therapists who I felt really didnt "get" me and I finally found the right much later in my life (27) after having an eating disorder since age 12. Having the right therapist and meeting someone who actually really did care about me and wanted to help and see me make it through to freedom was one of the most important factors in recovering. I am not in therapy today but i keep in touch with my therapist through email and stopping by to say hi and share a hug.
I found this with my therapist. I thought my old therapist and i had a good working relationship...but now that i have this new one i can totally see that she was NOT helpful at all. I realized she really sucks at her job. But my new therapist has encouraged me to be like her when i become a therapist! Thanks for the video!
This is a great video!when I was in therapy first I was only allowed a certain number of sessions because it was a free service & so I had to find someone else. When I did, she was so awkward and I couldn't get used to her, so after about 4 sessions with her i knew I needed someone else! Thankfully I found an amazing therapist and I'm so glad I did because she's helped my through a lot. Don't be discouraged if the first,or second isn't the right one!you'll soon find someone you click with
I saw a therapist for 4 months weekly. He was not the best therapist, but I couldn't compare because he the only one I've seen. Some things he did I didn't like: He called me his student (bad connotations, I felt like I had to say what he wanted to hear). Also he asked me for feedback. I felt like I had to reassure him, that he was doing his job right. We were from different backgrounds. (I shouldn't even know that, but he told me anyways). I felt really embarrassed, I always held back tears.
This is so true. The patient knows by the first or second session if you like the therapist. I’ve always known by the first session whether or not a therapist was right for me.
I found a great therapist through better Help she is culturally a true Dr, of Psychology , I like her and in the past three or four mounts I've been able to really open up to her and share some of my deepest fears and trauma and she helps me interpreter my deeper feelings.
what i really like about my therapist is that she's very respectful and considerate, when i talk about ways in which i see the world that i know are unhealthy but they're all i have she always reassures me that it doesn't make me a bad person, that i coped however i was able to and knowing sh'es going to be understanding rather than judgemental, if i get hung up on words that i feel are imprecise she won't scold me for it the way sometimes other people do because they think i'mderailing the conversation, she knows it's important to me to be accurately understood and communicate clearly, which i'm sure is inconvenient sometimes since we've pulle dout a dictionary while in session before, those parts of me that i feel shame or annoyance about are as important a part of me as my virtues in that space, i don't feel like i am undeserving or devoid of power with her, it feels like an equal exchange
I've been with my therapist for almost two years. He diagnosed me with PTSD. I didn't dislike my therapist from the beginning- but it took me a long time to trust him. The first 15 months I tried to find ways to cancel therapy or put it off- anything to avoid it. What has helped make me feel more comfortable with my therapist is emailing him in-between sessions (he almost never emails back). I share with him what is going on or giving feedback from the previous session.
I know for me it was all about being comfortable with my therapist. Being a victim of abuse growing up I wasnt comfortable being with a male therapist so that knocked many different options but once I went to my first intake appointment with my therapist I knew she was the right person for me. In our first session I may not have completely opened up, but there were a few moments where I made her laugh which made me more comfortable telling my baggage. Been with her for 7 months & I hope it helps
I was just like "oh lord an old person shes gonna suck" and my anxiety was horrible in that appointment but by the 2nd one i was just like "well ok shes a pretty freaking awesome lady" and we have a really great theraputic relationship :)
This is a really helpful video :) I think I knew I'd "clicked" with someone when I realised that if we were outside of the therapy situation, I'd want to be friends with them. Once you have that "friendship spark" you talked about, it's much easier to open up about serious stuff. xoxo
she is awesome and really good at her job. I just needed to realise that it would take a while for her to get to know me.. now she brings up the difficult topics as if she instinctively knows they are something that I want to talk about, and she seems to understand even if I explain things really rubbishly!! So, in my experience I wouldn't come to a conclusion that want to change therapists after one session.. sometimes give it a chance:)
i have never once had a good therapist. but when i went to inpatient i really connected with a few of the staff members. i am friends with them on fb and still reach out to them sometimes when i really need it
Anyone considering going into this kind of field should have to watch this--have the idea drilled into to their head that this is serious fucking stuff, and if you are not going to care, you should NOT be a therapist/etc. People's lives are hanging in the balance, and if you're going to be all, "ugh, WORK" about it and aren't going to give the 100% effort that someone needs from you and that by taking on this kind of job you have promised to give, then you have no business advertising yourself as a therapist or a counselor or a psychiatric nurse or a whatever. You have to be more than just "competent" to do this kind of job. You have to be, at the very least, actually compassionate and sincerely helpful and proactive and you have to CARE and you have to actually do you need to do to help your clients or patients or whoever. You can't just sit there and be unconcerned and unhelpful and charge them money for it. That's basically fraud, for one thing--but that's just irresponsible, and that's just really, really shitty of you as a human being.
I had a first appointment with a counsellor the other day and before I'd even had the appointment I thought she'd definitely be a good counsellor just from the way she responded to me and called it "our session" just felt like she's definitely on my side y'know?.. I only have 5 sessions (stupid short term counselling) but hopefully that'll be enough. your videos have DEFINITELY helped me work out how to get my feelings into actual words and stuff. you're awesome. :)
I found my therapist on the internet. The reviews that I read of her were so detailed that I knew they must be true. So I was desperate enough to call and leave a message. Then she called me back. Oh boy, I just stared and stared at the phone afraid to pick up but I thought I better or else I will never have the courage to call anyone else. She sounded nice on the phone so I made the appointment and she told me that we could just try it out and see if we matched. The first session I could tell that she thought like me and could understand what I was saying and she had some really great feedback so I decided to book another appointment. I was so freaking scared but she is SO good. Her insights, her tips, her techniques, her view of the world and how I could begin to look at it. Well it was easy to talk with them from the very first session. It's been a month and I am SO much better!!!!!!!!! I still my therapist but I feel like I could stop now and I would be so much the better person for it.
I don't feel horrid around my therapist currently but I can't be as honest with her as I could with my first one. I could tell my old therapist anything I felt so safe in her hands and the one i have now is not like that
I've been trying to find a good therapist for a while now. I've gone to a few college counselors and one made me feel worse about myself while the second was not very professional. Don't hesitate to see your college counselors, but also be wary. They're not always the best therapists.
I knew my therapist was the one for me the first time she saw my watery eyes, and she told me, you don't have to pretend with me, I'm the one person you can truly be yourself with and I'll never judge you, and then I started crying. I thiknk you just feel like they actually care. You can see it in how they look at you when you talk or the things they ask you.
I recently lost the therapist I had for 2 years. She really understood and helped me like nobody else ever did. Now I have to get a new one because I'm 18 and I'm scared It's not gonna work as well with the new one. Plus I felt kind of sad losing my first therapist and I don't want to get attach again and be sad when I lose her.
My previous therapist doesn't work with my new insurance provider, so I had to switch. I then made two first appointments to find someone I'm comfortable with. One (my current therapist) was fantastic, we connected right away. The other didn't make me comfortable and was also very mean! When I made it known to him that I wasn't going to make a second appointment because I still wanted to look for someone else, he told me: YOU WANTING TO SEE TWO THERAPISTS SAY SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE A PERFECTIONIST WHO ONLY WANTS THE BEST. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WITH PERFECT ENGLISH? (because his first language isn't English) I felt terrible. It didn't even EVER occur to me to find "the best therapist"; all I was looking for was someone I can trust and be comfortable with. I didn't even pay attention to his English, plus my former and current therapists aren't even native English speakers.
Ok so oddly enough, the first person to "spot" my ED was my Psych prof at my old college. She referred me on campus counseling. I was VERY nervous about going because I had had "caseworkers" from my local mental health facility in high school who were supposed to be helping me betray my trust. But I finally went and she was wonderful. When I hit the free session limit, she referred me to my current therapist. Figure out what you'd like from a therapist.
Great Video. I'm 14 and I have suffered with self harm for 4 years, recently school found out, i'm in counselling but i just try and avoid her questions about it, i mean she's nice but i just get really nervous when i go to see her :L
My first therapist I didn't like. I felt judged. She said some things that made me more nervous than comfortable. And she pointed out when I was doing weird anxiety ticks. Not Helpful. So I went to someone else. The next person I went to was so nice. I knew I would go back when I had said "I watch these videos on youtube by Kati Morton and I love them, they made me want to try " & she said "Oh, yeah? Well I will have to watch her videos and see what you're putting in your brain." Instant win.
great vid ! Love watching these. And I really get which moment or which kind of spark you mean. I felt that during IP this year. The therapeutic relationship was great and didnt abruptly stoppped after being IP for 10 weeks. sad part is, im currently relapsing and she isnt working as an outpatient therapist.I can still call or write her, if in need, but I cant visit her weekly or so. I struggle to make the first step searching for a new therapist as my last experience was so great and the therapeutic relationship was absolutely perfect. I think it could only be worse now. Anyway, thanks for making such useful vids !
I feel like I've only ever had a good client therapist relationship ONCE. It was from May 2018-Oct 2018 but I ended up being to high risk for my colleges counseling center to wanted deal with, was terminated services against my will. Despite all of the crap that happened towards the end of my time there I still am keeping my promises to my former therapist for not drinking until April 2019 (6 months of no drinking). That's how good the relationship was. He refused to out an M1 hold on me unless another one of his coworkers would also be able to assess me, if not I'd be in his office for an hour, shuttled to other rooms between his other appointments. He asked questions during silence but respected the silence when needed. It was a perfect balance. He diagnosed me formally with borderline personality disorder but never told me, I had to see it on a summary treatment paper...?? I'm on the hunt for a GOOD therapist who specializes and has been doing their job for 3+ years. I prefer someone who is older than me, can be sarcastic, and understand when I want to be picked apart with questions. My current therapist is still doing her field hours, and does a lot of "ah's and oh wow". Like ask me a question! She doesn't want to go through all the extra hours of specializations. I think I need to see someone new. But I'm a people pleaser and tend to stick with whoever I'm sent to. This is my 4th therapist! 1. Guy made me pray with him and imposed his.beliefs on me 2. College therapist and he was AMAZING he knows what he is doing. I wish him all the best. 3. Guy who broke the law, texted me, bullied me, and talked about his problems in therapy 4. Current woman who is still in training with no desire to specialize I have a lot of trauma, I need someone who is experienced, I'm not an easy case to take on, I need someone who tells me how the actively self care, and I need to just click with someone. I'll want treatment one day, and the next hour it's the worst thing to have happen in my life, just a back and forth.
I've had 2 good therapists and one really bad the 2 good ones were for a start younger; which wasn't a prerequisite, but it helped me relate to them. Anyway i guess it's not that complicated, they were good because they listened. The bad one forced me to sit through hypnotherapy and made the sessions about herself. The first good one made me a little uncomfortable cause she used to stare at me with her massive eyes, but she was fun and usually the looks she gave were of empathy so that was okay.
Some people believe that eating disorders can be cause by genetics. Some people posses a trait that leads them to be more prone to this. Coming from a family that has over 4 generations of eating disorders I wonder about this. What are your thoughts on eating disorders and genetics?
I feel like I’d like more warmness, hugs, saying she cares about me, show or express concern for me, feels bad for what I’m deal with from my family..... Im not saying that I want her to treat me as a victim or a baby.. I feel hurt about it.. Id like to connect more on a emotional level, but I kind of feel like a number. 😒 I’ve hinting in writing that I wanted hugs from her sometimes, but haven’t outright asked, because I don’t want to ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do. I’ve been in therapy for over 3 years and she only hugged me once, after I saw her hug another patient and I thought she did it so I didn’t feel jealous. I sometimes wonder if she’s hugging other patients and not me.. I wonder if the reason she doesn’t is because she’s afraid I’ll become too attached or attracted to her.. I’d like more feedback from her about my abusive family, acknowledging it or expressing it being abuse.. It makes me feel like she’s possibly not on my side and causes me to rack my brain, trying to figure out if I’m causing the abuse towards me, or imagining it and if that is what she is thinking?!.. She listens, gives minor feedback, mirrors, sometimes changes the subject when I bring them up and gives better support on other topics.. I’d like to know that she aligns with me, supports me, cares about me, not like my family for their abuse of me, cares how I’m treated, cares how I’m feeling, but I’m not feeling it.. I’m not totally dissatisfied with therapy, cuz I feel she’s better than others I’ve been in therapy with. Should I expect and alliance, or her telling me what they are doing is wrong or telling me she cares? Is this something I should expect or am I asking for too much?... I’m afraid to bring it up to her for fear over her becoming defensive or angry. I actually have brought some of it up in an email, hoping she’ll bring it up nicely, but she doesn’t.
I wish youtube would get rid of the character limit. What I meant by figure out what you want is are you more comfortable with a man or a woman? Is faith an important factor in your treatment? Do you have a diagnosis? If so, it may be helpful to find a specialist in that area.
I have been seeing my therapist weekly (or more) for almost 3 years now, and she is the best therapist I've ever seen. I am 18 so I may be going to college in five months and I don't want to stop seeing her because she's helped me so much. Whats a good way to close that relationship?
Hey Kati. I had my 1st therapy session yesterday (with the only therapist in my area) and it was terrible. I was a complete mess. I just can't talk about stuff and I really don't want to go back. I'm considering leaving and trying to fix things on my own (I managed to make a bit of progress today already so maybe I can do it solo). I hear that this needs to be solved with therapy but I don't think I can do that. Is there any way to fix it without seeing a therapist or do I have to go back?
I'm in the UK, basically if we want a therapist from the NHS we have to see our GP and they will refer us to an appropriate clinic. It works like this for everything in the UK, say if you had a bad knee and wanted physio, you would do the same thing. There are normally long waiting lists for everything. The school idea could be good, but I'm still really embarrassed.
I’ve met some very odd therapists in my time... People always tell you that you need to go at least 3 or more times to know.. I know right away.. If I went for more sessions, cuz I was encouraged too and to please someone else... It’s always awkward and yucky, cuz I’m not feeling the right vibe, or energy from the therapist, feeling safe, trusting or comfortable with them, want to shut down and usually thinking they are weird or creepy. ... 😏 I feel the people who give you this advice and usually it’s the therapeutic community, don’t understand the rapport or connection you want to feel to a therapist, that they would be the person you’d chose for a friend, if you could.. They think it’s only like a business relationship and you don’t need to like or connect to your therapist... And they’ve told me that, that I don’t need to like my therapist or be someone I’d chose for a friend, if I could. I feel it’s invalidating, people trying to tell you that you don’t know what you are doing, or need, that somebody else knows better then you, what you need in your life... I know myself well enough to know who I like, don’t like and what I want and need in therapy. ...
Hi kati. Really enjoying ur videos. Ive been bulimic for 10yrs and im 37yrs old.i used to be real lean with the bulimia but now i am still eating disordered but obese. There is nothing anywhere about bring obese and still bulimic. Can u do something on this?
For me... I'm worried because we video call for around or over 100hours a month, I stalk her house when she's asleep and I look for her footprints outside her house so I can take pictures and frame them in my room to look at. She loves me so much and I do love her. But sometimes I imagine keeping her hostage and just feed her 2 times a day just so I make sure she stays with me forever.... I often ask her to send me used clothing through the mail so I can smell them when I miss her the most. We need help because we are obsessed with each other and I don't know if 150hrs of video call a month is healthy. Anyway hopefully someone can give us some insight. Thank you
I really thought I'd found a good therapist, I had the initial trial appointment and now three actual sessions. I don't have a full team but she said she could help with meal planning as well as the therapy side of things. However last session she said actually she wasn't able to do that (which is good and honest etc) but also just seemed not focused on the session. I don't want the stress of trying another person but I don't want to pursue this if I am just going to have to change :/
I'm in my 16th month of being on a waiting list still to see a therapist.Apparently I'm near the top of the list now.I'm in the uk and the nhs they need more therapists.I've ended up finding a charity organisation that offer help to see if they can help me in the mean time.There's only so many times I can chase it up & ask for help which is sad.xx
I like my therapist, maybe too much sometimes, but I can't get over the fact that I am paying her to "like" me and to "care" for my well being. How can I fully trust someone who is only there because I'm paying them to be?
i loved this video kati! i love all ur videos....i looooove my therapist nd docor soo much! like i get sad wen times up with them...i wish they cud adopt me or something..lol im 20 nd know im kinda childish..but they ive me the love nd hugs ive never gotten growing up... i get really attached to any woman who gives me the light of day..hahaa not men tho for some reason..they cud be nice but i dont wanna cling to them haha..im weird
hi kati i lied to my therapist about 2 things but i am ready now to tell her about it and to explain why i did it but it been more than 3 months she didn't give me an appointment and i am really attached to her. #katiFAQ so my question is : is she not giving me appointment because she knew that i lied? is there anything you can tell me to do to stay safe till i get an appointment? thank you for your videos PS: i'm from Lebanon sorry if i wrote anything wrong?
Well... In my first appointment I cried a lot, because of my anxiety, but when I leave I knew that he was the right therapist for me ( I did a lot of therapy before him years ago, but it didnt feel like that). But since that it has been 2 years and a half, and about two weeks ago he told me something really painful that I dont think that it has to do with my process. So I dont know if I should keep seeing him, although on the other hand he trully helped me and I will miss him. What should I do? Any help? ♥
@@sometimesaranda2779 hi! Well, I talked to him to clarify the situation and told him how I was feeling. It was the best decision ever made. He continues being my therapist :)
Do you have a video about managing 2 conditions? I have a heart condition and a mood disorder which significantly affects my ability to make healthy choices.
Hey @Katimorton , iv just started seeing my therapist. Had 3 sessions with her upto now. Its seem ok but because my last therapist i had a bad experience with im obviously very anxious... How many sessions do would u say to know if that therapist is right? I dont think shes not at all I'm surprised how well my last session went. But because of my bad experience with the my old one there's always the fear that it might go wrong like my last one did. Thanks hope u can answer this.
I think you have to go through a lot of bad therapists before you find a good one. There are so many dysfunctional people in the field. I've had a lot of therapy and now I can just walk into a therapists office and know within 5 minutes of talking to this person if they are going to do more harm than good.
I have my first counselling appointment tomorrow actually and I'm worried about saying something that may get me in trouble. I'm just wondering, do you think it would be detrimental to hold back on talking about my selfharm,eating habits and a sexual assault that occurred (many years ago) in order to make sure my parents don't hear about it? it would just make life at home a lot worse if they knew :/
Kati, can we talk about transference? I feel like it happens so often in my therapeutic relationships and it's uncomfortable and I don't want to experience it. Like ... when you have that "spark", but you keep wanting more and you can never get enough. The only people who have told me that they can relate to me are people who also suffer with BPD. I don't think it's strictly a BPD thing though. I just want to know how to bring it up to a therapist and how to deal with it.
so if you cant tell the truth you should leave...what do you think if there are no other options should you keep trying? it has been two sessions... and have had to lie so many times which sucks but i just keep thinkning it will get easier... more like praying it does...
I havent had a good meeting yet, they keep giving me men counselors and I told them, i dont like to speak to males i just have a thing against them, so every time they give me a male and it gets me so angry and i get really agitated I walk out. I havent found someone yet but i hope i can.
I feel like i am too close to my therapist, I respect her and we really get along but its become like a friendship and now when i feel like i am relapsing, i feel like i am going to really disappoint her, even though i know she will help me and wont judge, so it scares me to say something.
I'm the kind of person who is shy and anxious with EVERYBODY I first meet. I would probably want to give the therapist a few more chances, even if I didn't feel 100% comfortable at first, because I know my anxiety is me, not him/her. Sometimes it takes me a very long time to feel comfortable and trust another person.
Do they start the conversation? I have my first one Thursday and idk what to talk about and I usually shut down talking about anything and I'm just really nervous...
+carlyyanne8 Most of the time (everytime in my case) she asks me how have been doing. The really first appointment that I got with her, she asked me question about our phone interview and try to figure out what might have brought me to see her... and now it's been a year and I am still working with her. It always depends on the psychologist but usually they ask question to get the conversation started. (That's what my ex-psychologist and my current one do)
I'm in a DBT program, and my individual therapist, who is part of the program, always starts the conversation. She usually says something along the lines of: "Hi! How are you? How has your week been?" At that point, I usually show her my diary card, which is a piece of paper that she uses with her clients to keep track of suicidal thoughts, self-harm urges, alcohol/drug use, medications, and anything else that seems relevant.
I'm sitting here with my friend at the moment, showing her this vid because she does go to a therapist, but she doesn't feel good talking to her. She does not want to go back or even go to another therapist. How should I convince her to fo find another therapist?
I really really wish I had the courage to ask my doctor for a referral to therapy, but I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone about what I do :( is there an easier way to ask for help?
I don’t feel anything with my therapist I mean I don’t feel connected neither do I feel disconnected it just feels ok should this happen? Is this normal?
Same here..just try another one and test and check how you feel inside when you try testing seeing another therapist...and compare and notice of how you feel and recognize it and listen to your inner gut
@@hninoowai1431 Hey hi. The thing is I can’t really change my therapist now, cause we have gotten pretty far with our therapy and plus she knows me quite well. She can help me I know it cause she knows me very well. She is also very experienced. It’s just that I don’t feel anything with her. It’s like a robot helping you for your needs and then you are done with the robot. It kinda feels like that. At least my problems will be solved ya it is a unfortunate that we don’t connect, but what to do.
Also my therapist doesn’t sympathise with me at all. She thinks she will jot down some points and ask me to do something and that will help, ok fine but first if you really wanna help atleast sympathise she doesn’t get that. I
I'm the same way sometimes, and then it's frustrating because I don't think she's getting an accurate view of what's going on in my mind. Sometimes, I'll journal it out and let her read it especially when something is just too painful to talk about. It can be a good starting point for discussing those things. This has been extremely helpful for me. Best wishes!
I've been seeing my therapist for almost 3 years now and I feel like I just recently really let her "in". I had always liked her and knew she was one of my strongest supports, but I didn't really start feeling completely comfortable sharing everything or even actually letting myself cry until maybe 2 months ago!
For me, I was very angry that I was “forced” to get help for my eating disorder, so I decided to not say anything. The first therapist I saw was all “why don’t you want to talk?” and tried to make guesses about and I just didn’t like her. The second therapist I saw was like “you don’t want to talk? well, that’s fine, I can’t make you talk. I still expect you to follow your meal plan and gain weight though, but if you don’t want to talk, that’s fine”. It was sooo provocative, but at the same time I knew I had found my match. She just kind of reflected my stubbornness, and I guess I felt a connection. She ended up helping me a lot!
This is really reassuring. It's nice to know that you don't have to force it with someone that you don't get on with.
I find it takes me a few sessions to get comfortable with a new therapist. I find the first session always feel like an interrogation and it's hard to do that over and over again with every new therapist.
I HATE the first appointment. Even with like a doctor, not just a therapist. So when I went into my most recent therapists office I literally handed her the forms I'd been asked to fill out downstairs and told her were skipping the bullshit of family, and who do I live with. Previous care, etc. Then just talked VERY awkwardly about an abundance of things for the next hour. She didn't say I couldnt... and I did so big whoop.
This is so true. My therapist I can tell basically anything to. Its someone who I say things I wouldn't normally tell anyone but its good because she can really help me process things and deal with those personal thoughts and such.
My current therapist I found through the Roman Catholic diocese in our area and she gave me free therapy when I first started seeing her. Now I have insurance and she splits my copay, because things are still tight. She's just really nice and affirms me when I'm on the right track and clues me in when I'm driving myself nuts. Another therapist that I had was just super empathic and compassionate and knew how to do EMDR which helped me process some tough stuff.
I had a therapist i hated and that's sort of one of the reasons i started my disordered eating and self harm. I ended up in the hospital. It really actually matters if you like them. Im getting better now because i have one i love again.
I had a great connection with my therapist. I was really nervous but she helped me feel more comfortable, and now a year later, I'm still seeing her. :) I just felt that it was a good fit. Thanks again for another great video, Kati!
Also, heres some video idea's:
-Coming back after being in a hospital- I've was lost and had a hard transition the times I went back home after inpatient
-DBT-(If you use it)
-is it ok to be vegetarian/ vegan (or have a special diet) while recovering from an ED
-is being a therapist a good idea after struggling with mental illness for so long
Just Some Suggestions, also your video's are great! =)
weirdly or not i clicked with all my therapists so far. i'm just like super shy and stuff but at d mid of d session i'll get really talkative n all...
you are so right about that spark. i have had the best and most helpful theraputic relationships with people whom i felt i could be friends with. Even years later i still communicate with 2 of them through cards or email. i have also had a few that i just didnt click with. it takes time and can be a frustrating process, but its so worth it when you find the right person.
I'm a book person. If I walk into your office and there are titles I vibe with, that's my spark.
I have two therapists now. I live in Australia and the government only give you 10 free sessions a year, then I have had to use my insurance but that still costs me $50 per session. So now I see two, I have only just started see the psychologist at uni because it is free. With my first therapist (which I am still seeing) it took me a while to warm up to him, only because I hadn't been in therapy before. It was hard, scary, overwhelming, and stressful the first 10 minutes but he made me feel comfortable straight away. I think it was like 3 sessions until we connected fully. It does get easier to see someone over time. The therapist I have recently started seeing, I have a very strong connection with him, we clicked straight away. It helped having previous therapy experience so to speak, lol. You just know that they are the right one. I can't explain it but say you will just know. I can take a few sessions, but I also believe if they are not the right one you will know straight away, you won't want to reveal much to them and won't have that urge and pounding heart to get whatever it is off your chest.
+Kylie Stutchbury I can fully agree with you! I met my current therapist more than a year ago and from the second I heard her voice when she called me for my phone interview, I knew that it was with her I wanted to work with. But before seeing her I was seeing another one that my parents chose for me and it was literally a nightmare. That woman didn't get me. She did not understand any of my problems and it seemed she was working with me to only get an extra $80 per week. But with my current therapist, she knows my patterns and helps me a lot with that.
Wow you go Australia! Do these two therapists know you're seeing more than just them?
Loved this topic! I had my share of therapists who I felt really didnt "get" me and I finally found the right much later in my life (27) after having an eating disorder since age 12. Having the right therapist and meeting someone who actually really did care about me and wanted to help and see me make it through to freedom was one of the most important factors in recovering. I am not in therapy today but i keep in touch with my therapist through email and stopping by to say hi and share a hug.
I found this with my therapist. I thought my old therapist and i had a good working relationship...but now that i have this new one i can totally see that she was NOT helpful at all. I realized she really sucks at her job. But my new therapist has encouraged me to be like her when i become a therapist! Thanks for the video!
You can really tell how passionate you are about your job! Thats really amazing!:)
This is a great video!when I was in therapy first I was only allowed a certain number of sessions because it was a free service & so I had to find someone else. When I did, she was so awkward and I couldn't get used to her, so after about 4 sessions with her i knew I needed someone else! Thankfully I found an amazing therapist and I'm so glad I did because she's helped my through a lot. Don't be discouraged if the first,or second isn't the right one!you'll soon find someone you click with
I saw a therapist for 4 months weekly. He was not the best therapist, but I couldn't compare because he the only one I've seen. Some things he did I didn't like:
He called me his student (bad connotations, I felt like I had to say what he wanted to hear).
Also he asked me for feedback. I felt like I had to reassure him, that he was doing his job right.
We were from different backgrounds. (I shouldn't even know that, but he told me anyways).
I felt really embarrassed, I always held back tears.
This is so true. The patient knows by the first or second session if you like the therapist. I’ve always known by the first session whether or not a therapist was right for me.
I found a great therapist through better Help she is culturally a true Dr, of Psychology , I like her and in the past three or four mounts I've been able to really open up to her and share some of my deepest fears and trauma and she helps me interpreter my deeper feelings.
what i really like about my therapist is that she's very respectful and considerate, when i talk about ways in which i see the world that i know are unhealthy but they're all i have she always reassures me that it doesn't make me a bad person, that i coped however i was able to and knowing sh'es going to be understanding rather than judgemental, if i get hung up on words that i feel are imprecise she won't scold me for it the way sometimes other people do because they think i'mderailing the conversation, she knows it's important to me to be accurately understood and communicate clearly, which i'm sure is inconvenient sometimes since we've pulle dout a dictionary while in session before, those parts of me that i feel shame or annoyance about are as important a part of me as my virtues in that space, i don't feel like i am undeserving or devoid of power with her, it feels like an equal exchange
I've been with my therapist for almost two years. He diagnosed me with PTSD. I didn't dislike my therapist from the beginning- but it took me a long time to trust him. The first 15 months I tried to find ways to cancel therapy or put it off- anything to avoid it. What has helped make me feel more comfortable with my therapist is emailing him in-between sessions (he almost never emails back). I share with him what is going on or giving feedback from the previous session.
I know for me it was all about being comfortable with my therapist. Being a victim of abuse growing up I wasnt comfortable being with a male therapist so that knocked many different options but once I went to my first intake appointment with my therapist I knew she was the right person for me. In our first session I may not have completely opened up, but there were a few moments where I made her laugh which made me more comfortable telling my baggage. Been with her for 7 months & I hope it helps
I was just like "oh lord an old person shes gonna suck" and my anxiety was horrible in that appointment but by the 2nd one i was just like "well ok shes a pretty freaking awesome lady" and we have a really great theraputic relationship :)
Rachel Sperl saaame loooll
This is a really helpful video :) I think I knew I'd "clicked" with someone when I realised that if we were outside of the therapy situation, I'd want to be friends with them. Once you have that "friendship spark" you talked about, it's much easier to open up about serious stuff. xoxo
Hahaha the beginning. It makes me wonder if she does that for every video
Maya Hall probably lol i think it's cute. She usually cuts it out tho
she is awesome and really good at her job. I just needed to realise that it would take a while for her to get to know me.. now she brings up the difficult topics as if she instinctively knows they are something that I want to talk about, and she seems to understand even if I explain things really rubbishly!! So, in my experience I wouldn't come to a conclusion that want to change therapists after one session.. sometimes give it a chance:)
I really like it that you can be a good comedian its cool it helps.
i have never once had a good therapist. but when i went to inpatient i really connected with a few of the staff members. i am friends with them on fb and still reach out to them sometimes when i really need it
Anyone considering going into this kind of field should have to watch this--have the idea drilled into to their head that this is serious fucking stuff, and if you are not going to care, you should NOT be a therapist/etc. People's lives are hanging in the balance, and if you're going to be all, "ugh, WORK" about it and aren't going to give the 100% effort that someone needs from you and that by taking on this kind of job you have promised to give, then you have no business advertising yourself as a therapist or a counselor or a psychiatric nurse or a whatever. You have to be more than just "competent" to do this kind of job. You have to be, at the very least, actually compassionate and sincerely helpful and proactive and you have to CARE and you have to actually do you need to do to help your clients or patients or whoever. You can't just sit there and be unconcerned and unhelpful and charge them money for it. That's basically fraud, for one thing--but that's just irresponsible, and that's just really, really shitty of you as a human being.
I had a first appointment with a counsellor the other day and before I'd even had the appointment I thought she'd definitely be a good counsellor just from the way she responded to me and called it "our session" just felt like she's definitely on my side y'know?.. I only have 5 sessions (stupid short term counselling) but hopefully that'll be enough. your videos have DEFINITELY helped me work out how to get my feelings into actual words and stuff. you're awesome. :)
I found my therapist on the internet. The reviews that I read of her were so detailed that I knew they must be true. So I was desperate enough to call and leave a message. Then she called me back. Oh boy, I just stared and stared at the phone afraid to pick up but I thought I better or else I will never have the courage to call anyone else. She sounded nice on the phone so I made the appointment and she told me that we could just try it out and see if we matched. The first session I could tell that she thought like me and could understand what I was saying and she had some really great feedback so I decided to book another appointment. I was so freaking scared but she is SO good. Her insights, her tips, her techniques, her view of the world and how I could begin to look at it. Well it was easy to talk with them from the very first session. It's been a month and I am SO much better!!!!!!!!! I still my therapist but I feel like I could stop now and I would be so much the better person for it.
I don't feel horrid around my therapist currently but I can't be as honest with her as I could with my first one. I could tell my old therapist anything I felt so safe in her hands and the one i have now is not like that
I've been trying to find a good therapist for a while now. I've gone to a few college counselors and one made me feel worse about myself while the second was not very professional. Don't hesitate to see your college counselors, but also be wary. They're not always the best therapists.
I knew my therapist was the one for me the first time she saw my watery eyes, and she told me, you don't have to pretend with me, I'm the one person you can truly be yourself with and I'll never judge you, and then I started crying. I thiknk you just feel like they actually care. You can see it in how they look at you when you talk or the things they ask you.
I recently lost the therapist I had for 2 years. She really understood and helped me like nobody else ever did. Now I have to get a new one because I'm 18 and I'm scared It's not gonna work as well with the new one. Plus I felt kind of sad losing my first therapist and I don't want to get attach again and be sad when I lose her.
These videos are super. Can u do a video on social anxiety? Thanks
great video Kati :) hope ur having a great week and keep making this wonderful and helpful videos xxx ohh and good luck at ur exams xxx
My previous therapist doesn't work with my new insurance provider, so I had to switch. I then made two first appointments to find someone I'm comfortable with. One (my current therapist) was fantastic, we connected right away. The other didn't make me comfortable and was also very mean! When I made it known to him that I wasn't going to make a second appointment because I still wanted to look for someone else, he told me: YOU WANTING TO SEE TWO THERAPISTS SAY SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE A PERFECTIONIST WHO ONLY WANTS THE BEST. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WITH PERFECT ENGLISH? (because his first language isn't English)
I felt terrible. It didn't even EVER occur to me to find "the best therapist"; all I was looking for was someone I can trust and be comfortable with. I didn't even pay attention to his English, plus my former and current therapists aren't even native English speakers.
Ok so oddly enough, the first person to "spot" my ED was my Psych prof at my old college. She referred me on campus counseling. I was VERY nervous about going because I had had "caseworkers" from my local mental health facility in high school who were supposed to be helping me betray my trust. But I finally went and she was wonderful. When I hit the free session limit, she referred me to my current therapist. Figure out what you'd like from a therapist.
Great Video. I'm 14 and I have suffered with self harm for 4 years, recently school found out, i'm in counselling but i just try and avoid her questions about it, i mean she's nice but i just get really nervous when i go to see her :L
How are you now?
My first therapist I didn't like. I felt judged. She said some things that made me more nervous than comfortable. And she pointed out when I was doing weird anxiety ticks. Not Helpful. So I went to someone else. The next person I went to was so nice. I knew I would go back when I had said "I watch these videos on youtube by Kati Morton and I love them, they made me want to try " & she said "Oh, yeah? Well I will have to watch her videos and see what you're putting in your brain." Instant win.
great vid ! Love watching these.
And I really get which moment or which kind of spark you mean. I felt that during IP this year. The therapeutic relationship was great and didnt abruptly stoppped after being IP for 10 weeks. sad part is, im currently relapsing and she isnt working as an outpatient therapist.I can still call or write her, if in need, but I cant visit her weekly or so. I struggle to make the first step searching for a new therapist as my last experience was so great and the therapeutic relationship was absolutely perfect. I think it could only be worse now. Anyway, thanks for making such useful vids !
You're wonderful.
I feel like I've only ever had a good client therapist relationship ONCE. It was from May 2018-Oct 2018 but I ended up being to high risk for my colleges counseling center to wanted deal with, was terminated services against my will. Despite all of the crap that happened towards the end of my time there I still am keeping my promises to my former therapist for not drinking until April 2019 (6 months of no drinking). That's how good the relationship was. He refused to out an M1 hold on me unless another one of his coworkers would also be able to assess me, if not I'd be in his office for an hour, shuttled to other rooms between his other appointments. He asked questions during silence but respected the silence when needed. It was a perfect balance.
He diagnosed me formally with borderline personality disorder but never told me, I had to see it on a summary treatment paper...??
I'm on the hunt for a GOOD therapist who specializes and has been doing their job for 3+ years. I prefer someone who is older than me, can be sarcastic, and understand when I want to be picked apart with questions. My current therapist is still doing her field hours, and does a lot of "ah's and oh wow". Like ask me a question! She doesn't want to go through all the extra hours of specializations. I think I need to see someone new. But I'm a people pleaser and tend to stick with whoever I'm sent to. This is my 4th therapist!
1. Guy made me pray with him and imposed his.beliefs on me
2. College therapist and he was AMAZING he knows what he is doing. I wish him all the best.
3. Guy who broke the law, texted me, bullied me, and talked about his problems in therapy
4. Current woman who is still in training with no desire to specialize
I have a lot of trauma, I need someone who is experienced, I'm not an easy case to take on, I need someone who tells me how the actively self care, and I need to just click with someone. I'll want treatment one day, and the next hour it's the worst thing to have happen in my life, just a back and forth.
Hey Kati, Im using as a reference on my counselling assigment about therapeutic relationship
I've had 2 good therapists and one really bad the 2 good ones were for a start younger; which wasn't a prerequisite, but it helped me relate to them. Anyway i guess it's not that complicated, they were good because they listened. The bad one forced me to sit through hypnotherapy and made the sessions about herself. The first good one made me a little uncomfortable cause she used to stare at me with her massive eyes, but she was fun and usually the looks she gave were of empathy so that was okay.
Some people believe that eating disorders can be cause by genetics. Some people posses a trait that leads them to be more prone to this. Coming from a family that has over 4 generations of eating disorders I wonder about this. What are your thoughts on eating disorders and genetics?
I feel like I’d like more warmness, hugs, saying she cares about me, show or express concern for me, feels bad for what I’m deal with from my family.....
Im not saying that I want her to treat me as a victim or a baby..
I feel hurt about it..
Id like to connect more on a emotional level, but I kind of feel like a number. 😒
I’ve hinting in writing that I wanted hugs from her sometimes, but haven’t outright asked, because I don’t want to ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do.
I’ve been in therapy for over 3 years and she only hugged me once, after I saw her hug another patient and I thought she did it so I didn’t feel jealous.
I sometimes wonder if she’s hugging other patients and not me..
I wonder if the reason she doesn’t is because she’s afraid I’ll become too attached or attracted to her..
I’d like more feedback from her about my abusive family, acknowledging it or expressing it being abuse..
It makes me feel like she’s possibly not on my side and causes me to rack my brain, trying to figure out if I’m causing the abuse towards me, or imagining it and if that is what she is thinking?!..
She listens, gives minor feedback, mirrors, sometimes changes the subject when I bring them up and gives better support on other topics..
I’d like to know that she aligns with me, supports me, cares about me, not like my family for their abuse of me, cares how I’m treated, cares how I’m feeling, but I’m not feeling it..
I’m not totally dissatisfied with therapy, cuz I feel she’s better than others I’ve been in therapy with.
Should I expect and alliance, or her telling me what they are doing is wrong or telling me she cares?
Is this something I should expect or am I asking for too much?...
I’m afraid to bring it up to her for fear over her becoming defensive or angry.
I actually have brought some of it up in an email, hoping she’ll bring it up nicely, but she doesn’t.
I wish youtube would get rid of the character limit. What I meant by figure out what you want is are you more comfortable with a man or a woman? Is faith an important factor in your treatment? Do you have a diagnosis? If so, it may be helpful to find a specialist in that area.
I have been seeing my therapist weekly (or more) for almost 3 years now, and she is the best therapist I've ever seen. I am 18 so I may be going to college in five months and I don't want to stop seeing her because she's helped me so much. Whats a good way to close that relationship?
Hey Kati.
I had my 1st therapy session yesterday (with the only therapist in my area) and it was terrible. I was a complete mess. I just can't talk about stuff and I really don't want to go back. I'm considering leaving and trying to fix things on my own (I managed to make a bit of progress today already so maybe I can do it solo).
I hear that this needs to be solved with therapy but I don't think I can do that. Is there any way to fix it without seeing a therapist or do I have to go back?
I'm in the UK, basically if we want a therapist from the NHS we have to see our GP and they will refer us to an appropriate clinic. It works like this for everything in the UK, say if you had a bad knee and wanted physio, you would do the same thing. There are normally long waiting lists for everything. The school idea could be good, but I'm still really embarrassed.
I’ve met some very odd therapists in my time...
People always tell you that you need to go at least 3 or more times to know..
I know right away..
If I went for more sessions, cuz I was encouraged too and to please someone else... It’s always awkward and yucky, cuz I’m not feeling the right vibe, or energy from the therapist, feeling safe, trusting or comfortable with them, want to shut down and usually thinking they are weird or creepy. ... 😏
I feel the people who give you this advice and usually it’s the therapeutic community, don’t understand the rapport or connection you want to feel to a therapist, that they would be the person you’d chose for a friend, if you could..
They think it’s only like a business relationship and you don’t need to like or connect to your therapist...
And they’ve told me that, that I don’t need to like my therapist or be someone I’d chose for a friend, if I could.
I feel it’s invalidating, people trying to tell you that you don’t know what you are doing, or need, that somebody else knows better then you, what you need in your life...
I know myself well enough to know who I like, don’t like and what I want and need in therapy. ...
Hi kati. Really enjoying ur videos. Ive been bulimic for 10yrs and im 37yrs old.i used to be real lean with the bulimia but now i am still eating disordered but obese. There is nothing anywhere about bring obese and still bulimic. Can u do something on this?
For me... I'm worried because we video call for around or over 100hours a month, I stalk her house when she's asleep and I look for her footprints outside her house so I can take pictures and frame them in my room to look at.
She loves me so much and I do love her.
But sometimes I imagine keeping her hostage and just feed her 2 times a day just so I make sure she stays with me forever....
I often ask her to send me used clothing through the mail so I can smell them when I miss her the most.
We need help because we are obsessed with each other and I don't know if 150hrs of video call a month is healthy.
Anyway hopefully someone can give us some insight.
Thank you
I really thought I'd found a good therapist, I had the initial trial appointment and now three actual sessions. I don't have a full team but she said she could help with meal planning as well as the therapy side of things. However last session she said actually she wasn't able to do that (which is good and honest etc) but also just seemed not focused on the session. I don't want the stress of trying another person but I don't want to pursue this if I am just going to have to change :/
I'm in my 16th month of being on a waiting list still to see a therapist.Apparently I'm near the top of the list now.I'm in the uk and the nhs they need more therapists.I've ended up finding a charity organisation that offer help to see if they can help me in the mean time.There's only so many times I can chase it up & ask for help which is sad.xx
Good job
I like my therapist, maybe too much sometimes, but I can't get over the fact that I am paying her to "like" me and to "care" for my well being. How can I fully trust someone who is only there because I'm paying them to be?
i loved this video kati! i love all ur videos....i looooove my therapist nd docor soo much! like i get sad wen times up with them...i wish they cud adopt me or something..lol im 20 nd know im kinda childish..but they ive me the love nd hugs ive never gotten growing up... i get really attached to any woman who gives me the light of day..hahaa not men tho for some reason..they cud be nice but i dont wanna cling to them haha..im weird
hi kati
i lied to my therapist about 2 things but i am ready now to tell her about it and to explain why i did it but it been more than 3 months she didn't give me an appointment and i am really attached to her. #katiFAQ so my question is : is she not giving me appointment because she knew that i lied? is there anything you can tell me to do to stay safe till i get an appointment?
thank you for your videos
PS: i'm from Lebanon sorry if i wrote anything wrong?
Well... In my first appointment I cried a lot, because of my anxiety, but when I leave I knew that he was the right therapist for me ( I did a lot of therapy before him years ago, but it didnt feel like that). But since that it has been 2 years and a half, and about two weeks ago he told me something really painful that I dont think that it has to do with my process. So I dont know if I should keep seeing him, although on the other hand he trully helped me and I will miss him. What should I do? Any help? ♥
Misu C. I know this was a year ago but just curious as to what happened? Hope all is well!
@@sometimesaranda2779 hi! Well, I talked to him to clarify the situation and told him how I was feeling. It was the best decision ever made. He continues being my therapist :)
Misu C. Aw that’s awesome! I’m happy for you found a great therapist - thanks for the update 😊
Do you have a video about managing 2 conditions? I have a heart condition and a mood disorder which significantly affects my ability to make healthy choices.
I love your videos! (:
Hey @Katimorton , iv just started seeing my therapist. Had 3 sessions with her upto now. Its seem ok but because my last therapist i had a bad experience with im obviously very anxious... How many sessions do would u say to know if that therapist is right? I dont think shes not at all I'm surprised how well my last session went. But because of my bad experience with the my old one there's always the fear that it might go wrong like my last one did. Thanks hope u can answer this.
I think you have to go through a lot of bad therapists before you find a good one. There are so many dysfunctional people in the field. I've had a lot of therapy and now I can just walk into a therapists office and know within 5 minutes of talking to this person if they are going to do more harm than good.
I have my first counselling appointment tomorrow actually and I'm worried about saying something that may get me in trouble. I'm just wondering, do you think it would be detrimental to hold back on talking about my selfharm,eating habits and a sexual assault that occurred (many years ago) in order to make sure my parents don't hear about it? it would just make life at home a lot worse if they knew :/
Kati, can we talk about transference? I feel like it happens so often in my therapeutic relationships and it's uncomfortable and I don't want to experience it. Like ... when you have that "spark", but you keep wanting more and you can never get enough. The only people who have told me that they can relate to me are people who also suffer with BPD. I don't think it's strictly a BPD thing though. I just want to know how to bring it up to a therapist and how to deal with it.
your amazing
#KatiFAQ : Do I have to tell a new therapist/psychiatrist that I've been seeing someone else for almost 2 years from now, if I decide to switch?
so if you cant tell the truth you should leave...what do you think if there are no other options should you keep trying? it has been two sessions... and have had to lie so many times which sucks but i just keep thinkning it will get easier... more like praying it does...
Just curious have you ever done DBT? It's been really helpful.
no bloopers?:( :P xxx
I havent had a good meeting yet, they keep giving me men counselors and I told them, i dont like to speak to males i just have a thing against them, so every time they give me a male and it gets me so angry and i get really agitated I walk out. I havent found someone yet but i hope i can.
I love my therapist but im a really private person and i just cant make myself tell her about when things arent going good. I dont know why!
Must be and feel honest.
I feel like i am too close to my therapist, I respect her and we really get along but its become like a friendship and now when i feel like i am relapsing, i feel like i am going to really disappoint her, even though i know she will help me and wont judge, so it scares me to say something.
I'm the kind of person who is shy and anxious with EVERYBODY I first meet. I would probably want to give the therapist a few more chances, even if I didn't feel 100% comfortable at first, because I know my anxiety is me, not him/her. Sometimes it takes me a very long time to feel comfortable and trust another person.
What can you do if you have a mysterious family therapist Mary whom I never see in person, I think it's cool.
Do they start the conversation? I have my first one Thursday and idk what to talk about and I usually shut down talking about anything and I'm just really nervous...
+carlyyanne8 Most of the time (everytime in my case) she asks me how have been doing. The really first appointment that I got with her, she asked me question about our phone interview and try to figure out what might have brought me to see her... and now it's been a year and I am still working with her. It always depends on the psychologist but usually they ask question to get the conversation started. (That's what my ex-psychologist and my current one do)
I'm in a DBT program, and my individual therapist, who is part of the program, always starts the conversation. She usually says something along the lines of: "Hi! How are you? How has your week been?" At that point, I usually show her my diary card, which is a piece of paper that she uses with her clients to keep track of suicidal thoughts, self-harm urges, alcohol/drug use, medications, and anything else that seems relevant.
I'm sitting here with my friend at the moment, showing her this vid because she does go to a therapist, but she doesn't feel good talking to her. She does not want to go back or even go to another therapist. How should I convince her to fo find another therapist?
I really really wish I had the courage to ask my doctor for a referral to therapy, but I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone about what I do :( is there an easier way to ask for help?
Katie I have a question.
I don’t feel anything with my therapist I mean I don’t feel connected neither do I feel disconnected it just feels ok should this happen? Is this normal?
Same here..just try another one and test and check how you feel inside when you try testing seeing another therapist...and compare and notice of how you feel and recognize it and listen to your inner gut
@@hninoowai1431 Hey hi. The thing is I can’t really change my therapist now, cause we have gotten pretty far with our therapy and plus she knows me quite well.
She can help me I know it cause she knows me very well. She is also very experienced. It’s just that I don’t feel anything with her. It’s like a robot helping you for your needs and then you are done with the robot. It kinda feels like that. At least my problems will be solved ya it is a unfortunate that we don’t connect, but what to do.
Also my therapist doesn’t sympathise with me at all. She thinks she will jot down some points and ask me to do something and that will help, ok fine but first if you really wanna help atleast sympathise she doesn’t get that.
I
I'm afraid to tell my therapist certain things. I get all tounge tied at times. What should I do?
I'm the same way sometimes, and then it's frustrating because I don't think she's getting an accurate view of what's going on in my mind. Sometimes, I'll journal it out and let her read it especially when something is just too painful to talk about. It can be a good starting point for discussing those things. This has been extremely helpful for me. Best wishes!
who's here to write an essay on TP?
I don't like my therapist and it leads to problem...
You really need to work on editing out that Smacking sound.. sometimes can't even finish the video (no offense.. I have severe misophonia)