This was such a great video! You guys are three of my favorites!! I am extremely sentimental, but definitely not a hoarder. When emptying my parent’s home, my friends and other family members were surprised when I told them the only things I kept were a tiny decorative dish, a small side table, and my grandma’s yellow and white tablecloth. I had the best childhood ever and also had a wonderful relationship with my parents as an adult. I didn’t need a bunch of stuff to remind me of that. Now, at 71, I am writing “My Story” and including pictures and memories of things I cherish and why. The opening lines of my book are, “Memories become stories and stories are meant to be shared. I hope you enjoy my story.” Like Matt, I am discovering I am quite a storyteller. I find great comfort in knowing my family will be able to remember me and my stories through the book without having to deal with a bunch of stuff.
I am the youngest of nine children (7 boys/2 girls). Everything falls on me. I'm expected to take care of everybody because I'm the youngest. I used to be the family fixer until I became disabled myself. But everyone still thinks that because I'm the youngest that I have to fix everything.
Our parents left behind a neat but huge, heavy piece of furniture. Several relatives talked about how valuable and sentimental the piece was-and it was offered to each of them as we were tasked with all the closure. The only requirement was that they arrange and pay for moving it to their house. No one followed through. We asked again, they all assured us it was very important, but no one came to get it. No one wanted to buy it so the relatives could split the money. After a year we finally just gave it to a man that wanted it enough to arrange and pay for moving it to his place. It was a huge relief, and not one relative has asked whatvever happened to it. Sometimes people guilt you into storing stuff they do not want enough to take on themselves. I like what Matt said about not being a storage unit or a delivery service! And some time back, Dawn said out loud that we had permission to part with things even if our Mom gave it to us which a lot if us really needed to hear!
I’m 68, and still dealing with my parent’s stuff they left behind. My son already told me anything left is going in a dumpster. Slowly getting rid of stuff but it’s not easy. OMG I can so relate to being a storage unit for stuff others want but don’t come to get it.
Because my parents had stuff from their parents our houses never felt decorated, just a hodge podge of stuff that didn’t inspire me. Happy to decorate and declutter according to my heart. I did a little Swedish death cleaning with my quilts while I spoke to my kids. I’m actually not interested in a legacy list so I don’t pressure anyone into taking stuff they may not want. I know what I’d take in a fire though.
My mom passed away 7 years ago, when I was 23. She told the same stories all the time and I am so thankful. Now those same stories mean everything to me! I wish I could hear her tell them one more time! I still have a few of her special things, but it was hard to keep everything, when I already had a house full of things myself. For example Instead of keeping 20 of her scarfs (one of the things she loved), I kept the top 5 that I remember her wearing the most. I will even wear them myself sometimes ❤️
Oh My G'Ness....... this one is hitting me hard! Hitting too close to home! My Grandparents, and my parents are all gone now, Aunt's and Uncles, and I'm the only one left! I have ended up with all of their items! But.... I can't possibly get rid of anything, because SOMEHOW that would be dishonoring them!!! Yes, the last one died in 2014 and I am still afraid to get rid of things, am I afraid I will forget them, if I get rid of their things? I was extremely close to each one of them, there with them, to their last breath even. Yes, my Mom had stories, upon stories, and was always going to write them out, then as she got older, she wanted me to help her write them out, well..... she died, and no stories written down, now that guilt is eating me up too, cuz I didn't take that time to help her
You have stated this so well. I am right there with you. I too am the last one in the family and am burdened with the guilt of keeping the "family treasures". Thank you for stating it so well.
Wow, Eydie, please do not feel guilty. You had close relationships, and that is the treasure that you received and gave to each of them! The stories are nice but were mostly for you if you are the last. The stories are not your responsibility, just one of those ideas that your Mom meant to do like we all have ideas some of which we carry out and some of which we do not. Give yourself permission to pick your favorite items and be ok moving on without keeping all that stuff. It truly is ok!!!
❤ I remember hearing a quote, "That item is not your mother, and it is not your love for your mother." It was a revelation to me to hear it stated that way. I lost my best friend 4 years ago. I remember her not because of things I have of hers, but because we shared time together and built memories together. You can honour your relatives by passing on their items to people who will love and use them.
Nope youngest daughter here and I will be doing it all pretty sure! 😢 Also my hubby is the youngest of 3 and he did 90% of the cleanout of his hoarder mom. He delegated 10% otherwise he would have done that too. I guess you just aren't running into us young ones.
Yes, we can romanticize our memory of our loved ones. Also, I've realized the longer my mom has been gone that my frustration i had with her is what made her who she was. My adult kids have witnessed this revelation and will often remind me that their grandma was a bada$$. Yep, she was and I take after her, so watch out!
5 minutes in I had to share with my friend whose mom wants the friend to keep the family China etc. Thanks to all 3 of you for the messages you share. 🎉
This was such a great video! You guys are three of my favorites!! I am extremely sentimental, but definitely not a hoarder. When emptying my parent’s home, my friends and other family members were surprised when I told them the only things I kept were a tiny decorative dish, a small side table, and my grandma’s yellow and white tablecloth. I had the best childhood ever and also had a wonderful relationship with my parents as an adult. I didn’t need a bunch of stuff to remind me of that. Now, at 71, I am writing “My Story” and including pictures and memories of things I cherish and why. The opening lines of my book are, “Memories become stories and stories are meant to be shared. I hope you enjoy my story.” Like Matt, I am discovering I am quite a storyteller. I find great comfort in knowing my family will be able to remember me and my stories through the book without having to deal with a bunch of stuff.
I'm 65 and I am keeping just a handful of things from my mom.
If you lost your family early, those things mean a lot more to you.
Yyyeeeesssssss!!! Mat Paxton!!!!
I love this, I’m going to pack a go bag incase there’s a fire, or natural disaster.
I am the youngest of nine children (7 boys/2 girls). Everything falls on me. I'm expected to take care of everybody because I'm the youngest. I used to be the family fixer until I became disabled myself. But everyone still thinks that because I'm the youngest that I have to fix everything.
Our parents left behind a neat but huge, heavy piece of furniture. Several relatives talked about how valuable and sentimental the piece was-and it was offered to each of them as we were tasked with all the closure. The only requirement was that they arrange and pay for moving it to their house. No one followed through. We asked again, they all assured us it was very important, but no one came to get it. No one wanted to buy it so the relatives could split the money. After a year we finally just gave it to a man that wanted it enough to arrange and pay for moving it to his place. It was a huge relief, and not one relative has asked whatvever happened to it. Sometimes people guilt you into storing stuff they do not want enough to take on themselves. I like what Matt said about not being a storage unit or a delivery service! And some time back, Dawn said out loud that we had permission to part with things even if our Mom gave it to us which a lot if us really needed to hear!
I saw the podcast and had to come to TH-cam just to see Zoe’s reaction to Matt’s answers about being sentimental 😂
I’m 68, and still dealing with my parent’s stuff they left behind. My son already told me anything left is going in a dumpster. Slowly getting rid of stuff but it’s not easy. OMG I can so relate to being a storage unit for stuff others want but don’t come to get it.
Because my parents had stuff from their parents our houses never felt decorated, just a hodge podge of stuff that didn’t inspire me. Happy to decorate and declutter according to my heart. I did a little Swedish death cleaning with my quilts while I spoke to my kids. I’m actually not interested in a legacy list so I don’t pressure anyone into taking stuff they may not want. I know what I’d take in a fire though.
My mom passed away 7 years ago, when I was 23. She told the same stories all the time and I am so thankful. Now those same stories mean everything to me! I wish I could hear her tell them one more time! I still have a few of her special things, but it was hard to keep everything, when I already had a house full of things myself. For example Instead of keeping 20 of her scarfs (one of the things she loved), I kept the top 5 that I remember her wearing the most. I will even wear them myself sometimes ❤️
Wow!!!! This was really really good. Thank you Dawn!
No wonder it is so hard to get rid of the sentimental things. It makes sense that geieving people can't let go yet.
Omg! 2 of my favorites together! I love Matt's story and how he approaches everything. This is a great collaboration. 🎉
Hey Dawn, the parents having their adult kids items and still storing it, sounds like you and Diana 😊
Telling stories and passing down family stories is very indigenous thing to do. They had it right first.
Oh My G'Ness....... this one is hitting me hard! Hitting too close to home! My Grandparents, and my parents are all gone now, Aunt's and Uncles, and I'm the only one left! I have ended up with all of their items! But.... I can't possibly get rid of anything, because SOMEHOW that would be dishonoring them!!! Yes, the last one died in 2014 and I am still afraid to get rid of things, am I afraid I will forget them, if I get rid of their things? I was extremely close to each one of them, there with them, to their last breath even. Yes, my Mom had stories, upon stories, and was always going to write them out, then as she got older, she wanted me to help her write them out, well..... she died, and no stories written down, now that guilt is eating me up too, cuz I didn't take that time to help her
You have stated this so well. I am right there with you. I too am the last one in the family and am burdened with the guilt of keeping the "family treasures". Thank you for stating it so well.
Wow, Eydie, please do not feel guilty. You had close relationships, and that is the treasure that you received and gave to each of them! The stories are nice but were mostly for you if you are the last. The stories are not your responsibility, just one of those ideas that your Mom meant to do like we all have ideas some of which we carry out and some of which we do not. Give yourself permission to pick your favorite items and be ok moving on without keeping all that stuff. It truly is ok!!!
❤ I remember hearing a quote, "That item is not your mother, and it is not your love for your mother." It was a revelation to me to hear it stated that way. I lost my best friend 4 years ago. I remember her not because of things I have of hers, but because we shared time together and built memories together. You can honour your relatives by passing on their items to people who will love and use them.
@@lauriereber8939 💜The perfect way to put it..... we are to now keep the family treasures!
@@lucystrider728 .... thank you, good point, they were her stories.
Hi Matt!!! One of my favorites!!!
Love this ❤
That was such a wonderful podcast!!! Thank you. That is a neat way to remember your items and loved ones.
Nope youngest daughter here and I will be doing it all pretty sure! 😢 Also my hubby is the youngest of 3 and he did 90% of the cleanout of his hoarder mom. He delegated 10% otherwise he would have done that too. I guess you just aren't running into us young ones.
I kept a few some items that were my parents. A watch each, a jewelry box, a hat, a bracelet, and binoculars.
Yes, we can romanticize our memory of our loved ones. Also, I've realized the longer my mom has been gone that my frustration i had with her is what made her who she was. My adult kids have witnessed this revelation and will often remind me that their grandma was a bada$$. Yep, she was and I take after her, so watch out!
5 minutes in I had to share with my friend whose mom wants the friend to keep the family China etc. Thanks to all 3 of you for the messages you share. 🎉
Such an awesome podcast, Dawn!
So glad I'm not the oldest daughter 😅
That was so good, thank you Dawn!