Crusader Kings 2 - Part 23 - A Date with Destiny
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.พ. 2025
- Crusader Kings 2 continues, as King Hektor tries to consolidate his gains, securing new territory, getting the Council to behave, and making sure that the dukes are all entirely trustworthy...
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Fanfare for Space, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Jesus, Christmas gatherings must be really awkward in this family.
King: "Is this what they call a turkey? What a disappointment!"
Disappointment: "What? Did you call me?"
King: "No, sorry, it was a mistake."
Mistake: "Did I hear my name? Or was it not mine?"
Notmine: "Huh? You said something?"
King: "Shut up, everyone! It's useless talking to you!"
Yuselass: "Did you call me?"
King: "Oh, no!"
Ohno: "Right here!"
"If he starts looking at you and licking his lips, just go"
*Death notification*
"...... Ok, we've learnt a valuable lesson"
Best part yet
It was my greatest decision ever.
for SCIENCE!
also, I just remembered the satanists get extra dark power from sacrificing the godly.
he dined with a cannibal, and got his just desserts
too soon?
The fact he died immediately after going to the cannibal party made me laugh out loud.
"Excuse me, why are you taking my measurements?"
"Because, your majesty, the feast will be served on a platter fit for a king."
Reigns of Cornwall:
Duke Cadoc the Lunatic: 1066-1086 (20 years) Died of neuro-syphilis.
King Conan the Faceless: 1086-1090 (4 years) Died of illness.
King Jon the Expansive: 1090-1124 (34 years) Died in battle.
King Iliad the Hunter: 1124-1148 (24 years) Murdered by manure explosion.
King Connor the Seducer: 1148-1161 (13 years) Died of cancer.
King Hektor the Holy: 1161-1176 (15 years) Eaten by Satanic family member.
Queen Yuselass: 1176-
Thank you.
Queen Yuselass the Immortal: 1176-??? (Infinite years).
King Jon the Expansive Gut
Psst, Hail Connor
God-Empress Yuselass: 1176-100000000. May her immortal expanse infuse our Universe forever.
Honestly, it doesn't seem that strange for Queen Yuselass to be searching for immortality at the age of 39 considering both of her predecessors died in their early 40s.
best comment, I AINT GOING OUT LIKE THAT.
Haha so true, but as long as he doesn't get killed by a poop bomb, get cancer from being a devil worshiper, or have dinner with a known cannibal, then she should be okay.
Hektor: What' s for dinner?
Cadoc: Regicide.
Hektor: Huh? Never heard of it. Is it good with gravy?
Cadoc: It's to die for. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!
Hektor: ... Great! I'm starving.
I am shocked and disappointed at both Jon and these comments - How could you all miss that after years in isolation in order to avoid Consumption, King Hector, was, in fact, Consumed?
Also, he was slightly craven t the end...
Well, *someone* was a-craven him....
Honestly, by now every ruler of Cornwall should get a midlife-fear-of-death-crisis once they hit 40...
If you set crown focus to a place that already has the highest level of prosperity, you can get an event that permanently adds a new slot to the county, so you should definitely consider setting crown focus in Cornwall.
JON! I suddenly remmember, seeing something last time, something very important, but i forgot to tell!
The line of King Jon is ALIVE!
The dynasty-tree does only show people of your dynasty, and their direct children. (Those children have a little coat-of-arms of the dynasty they do belong to next to them.)
But the children, of the children that are no longer a part of your dynasty, are not shown in YOUR dynasty-tree, BUT they do exist! Which means King Jon's Bloodline Lives ON!
Yes, it is true that King Jon's bloodline did pass out of your dynasty for a few generations, BUT these kids ARE the great-great-great-grandchildren of King Jon! All you need to do to pull King Jons line back in is make a few clever marriages!
There is still hope for Jon's Bloodline! There is still hope!
Enemies of the Heir, Beware! - Draco Malfoy, and with a bit of luck, soon the Heir of King Jon!
We gotta signal boost this! King Jon the Fat's lineage must remain in the kingdom of Cornwall!
Jon has to see this
Wait but how does he find the lost children
He could just go to the dead children's tabs and click on their children until he found an unmarried grandchild I'd assume. The trick would then be getting them into the family without the Holy Roman Empire assassinating them and suggesting a different option xD
He either saw this or realized it himself, because he mentioned it on the episode from the 14th(?) can't remember which part it was.
Wow, Hektor goes to a cannibal created by Connor, Connor died trying to feed everyone to Satan to cure his cancer, and he inherited from Jon who died in the infamous poo explosion. This game is great.
No that was Iliad who died in the poo explosion not Jon.
Ach of course I got it wrong, I meant the one before Connor. How could I forget King Iliad, he was the alchemist whose ingredients are still in the treasury.
Man, eat one ruler, and all of sudden you're unreliable as a counselor.
Tune in next time when Jon learns that Immortality is an actual thing in CK2.
He'll die, unless he gets lucky and backs out after earning some gudshit
I have hundreds of hours in the game and this event NEVER POPPED for me. I really hope Jon doesn't mess up that event line.
@@lolmandos oh he will
I get that event on almost all my rulers for some reason. Maybe it's a DLC thing. I've never once found immortality though.
It's one of the hardest quest chains in the game to pull off.
Your wife’s stewardship DOES influence your personal domain. Unless you want to press claims the single most important stat for your wife is her stewardship because it will make your own personal domain limit much greater. Note this is also true of husbands for female rulers.
*demesne. (Yes i'm gonna be that guy)
I`m*. (Yeah, I'm going to be that man)
Demesne is domain
You, Bishop Cadoc the wicked, go tell the pope what a good Christian I am.
I also laughed at this
about your treasury, you can actually equip and use those things by clicking on the little hand, they should give you bonuses that you might be intersted in.... took me forever to catch up on this series just to tell you that!
Ive had my eye on the relations tab for quite a while
It's very very good indeed
King Hector: What's on the menu?
Cadoc: Chicken ala King
Wonder if Jon knows he doesn't have a retinue.
I think he got rid of it a few years ago
Did he send the retinue to the crusade and destroy it thinking it was one of levies?
No, I think he disbanded it
I love how Jon freaks out that he is short 2,500 men if France decided to declare war on him. Hmmm, I wonder how large the retinue would be? Or when some provincial villagers revolt, having a nice large standing professional army would be kinda useful, don't you think?
Did he explain why he disbanded the retinue? He was just building a new one and did't have any problems with the money. And now he is worried that his duches might have bigger armies and cause trouble.
I just love his justification for saying yes to that carousing. It was so well thought out and adorable but in the end HE WAS A SATANIC CANNIBAL!
"Oh no, my marriage game has made claimants around the world, quick, do I have children I can marry to form allianges and breed more of this same problem in the future!?"
Daggers, Jon, daggers!
Jon, two of those guys you were “worried about” are with the templars. So they probably won’t marry or have kids. Thus ending their claims on death.
King Hektor "the fool" who dined with a cannibal and paid the price...
Jerold Productions You mean King Hektor the Delicious
Nah he was King Hektor “the holy” and he led the Cornish forces bravely against the might of Mercia. Only to die on an unfortunate “hunting accident” while carousing with some friends.
King Hektor, the Divine (the taste)
Sir Devil And his friends never ate half as well
Lets never forget that time when Hektor killed an innocent, holy man after said man saw Hektor trying to steal a holy artefact. Getting eaten by a demon loyal to the previous king who possessed the body of duke may have been too much but still, never forget.
King Hektor: ``How Could you! I'm not angry, just dissapointed!''
Disappointment: ``That's my name to!''
Congratulations Jon. You've successfully managed to confuse me with the day this video aired.
I have an exam on Monday, and this scared the living shit out of me :D
RIP King Hektor The Tasty
Yippie! Jon used a tip i gave during the `Things Jon got Wrong' session! I helped!
Love this series! Keep up the great show!
I feel like you’re the antagonist from the Smurfs. You keep going into the forest and taking little men and making them your doctor
1:06:01 Aeluit seems extremely good.
which of course means he picks Aeneas or Beloved
24:07
*looking for new Court Chaplain*
Ooh! A bunch of Loyalists!
*picks the lowest Learning one who likes him the least out of the 3*
Laying in bed at night, staring at the ceiling unable to sleep, don't we all think about and consider cheating death and becoming immortal?
Well, at least it's possible in CK2. Sadly, I don't think Jon has learning for it, even if RNGesus sends in that one child mystic that actually has know-how.
I think Learning only applies to one of the possible routes. There's another route for Marital, among others (all but Stewardship, if I remember correctly). So it is a possibility that Jon could obtain immortality with his current character. It's just highly unlikely. Like, very highly unlikely. In my many, many hours playing, I've never had a character become immortal through that event chain organically.
It may be time to finish off the irish and consolidate your realm.
Also, time to vote on some laws
Remember that when you attempt to press claims of dynasty members, the contested title must be lower than yours for them to become your vassals.
Jon, when you have an event can you please mouseover all of the options even when you immediately know which you one you're going to take? That would give us all a chance to at least see what effects the other options would have. Thanks!
Yes please.
Well...at least hes not having a date with his sister... _never again_
When you zoom out I realise you should be upgrading your trade ports. You’d collect so much income coming from Scandinavia and Spain since you own a lot of those costal provenances
Aeluit would make an amazing Queen.
That's what I was thinking, too!
"Blimey! These health related buildings are expensive!"
(Six months later)
"Blimey! We've got a flip-ton of money! Better spend it!"
(Six months later)
"Blimey! When will this plague move along!?"
Jon, royal portraits were often very flattering. King Hektor's wife was almost certainly a hound.
I think she's just Swedish D:
But popular pornography has lead me to believe that the Swedish are stunning.
Umm....did Jon just click on “no” for eating rats at 26:30 instead of yes, even though he meant to click yes?
It's been 4 days! I'm dying for the next one.
The episodes are getting longer and longer... I like it!
"What can I throw at them?"
"Well I have a son"
My favorite two sentences in the series so far
Why is Yuselass such an awesome sounding name to me? I know it's a joke on 'Useless' and yet it has a certain elegance... a ring to it if I may.
Anyway, with France on side and England in such disarray, maybe this would be the time to press for claims? It'd be really nice to see England diminish to the point where they are smaller than Cornwall. Once England is sufficiently weak, the only possible threat to Cornwall could come from the continent or an alliance between England and Scotland.
Well, it was a joke on "useless", because when Yuselass I. was born, Jon was hoping for a son. And then Yuselass, Stronglass and Insult were far better than all his male heirs :P
I can’t believe you went!
Jon forgot about Cornwall's greatest Tradition. Mandatory haircut to the newly crowned monarch.
22:22 Go hunting, it can cure craven.
Too late now lol
Iain Campbell More like too 'ate' now ayyyy
This whole episode was a wild ride.
You could make the King of Scotland your tannist if he's your dynasty, then play as him and set one of your dynasty as the tannist so both kingdoms stay yours. He doesn't leave your dynasty with a matrelineal marriage, just his kids.
One day, someone should make a tv series about this playthrough. Amazing
I remember in like, part one:
Jon: why are there so many daughters!? A son would be nice!
Jon now: Why are there so many sons! A daughter would be nice!
Jon the immortality questline is one of the hardest questlines to pull off.
You still gonna go for Satanism Jon?
It's worth it you know.
Why didn't Jon make Aeluit his heir as soon as she came of age?
I was thinking the same thing. He should do it now if he can he doesn't have much luck with rulers over 40
My thought exactly, she would have made a perfect heiress. And a much younger one.
i knew i wasnt the only one thinking f that
he was scared of weak claims, claims that most likely would have never been pushed
Duke Cadoc the founder of Burger King
Its interesting how a girl literally fated to be useless managed to birth a daughter, that also came out fated to be useless, but then arises to become the most powerful military leader of all the predecessors. :D Long live the queen!
OMG! I totally didnt expect hector to be killed at that diner! LOL
Suspicious circumstances, more like, delicious circumstances.
20:37 This part almost made me cry.
What happened to your permanent retinue of soldiers? It seems to have vanished...
Thus dies king Hector ‘the tasty’ of Cornwall; served on the table like he served the Lord: covered in barbecue sauce.
"How is the Holiest place of the faith right now...
....oh, it's kind of on fire."
There is something so poetic about the new good king dying because the previous king satanically possessed an otherwise good man and turned him into a cannibal. Like I know the precise event was so gloriously comedic in how obvious it was but the fact that cannibal was only a cannibal because of actions by Jon makes it feel like karma.
And people wonder why I'm automatically distrustful of offers of hospitality.
... from cannibals. Right? Offers of hospitality from cannibals.
"Also we never gave you a hair cut! Sorry I forgot to do that"
"And sadly I can't get you a beard :("
"Wise King Hektor,
I hereby invite you to dinner at my castle, where we may privately discuss some delicio...delicate matters. I have personally prepared a special roast for you.
I hunger for your company.
Kind regards,
Cadoc the Possessed Cannibal"
King Hektor: "This strikes me as eminently reasonable."
If Cat becomes king, he should name his son Tybolt, so he can truly be a prince of cats
How has the same king of Scotland still alive after cornwall has had like 4 kings
Because he doesn't accept dinner invitations from cannibals?
And didn't bed every woman in his court?
They've not got Jon in charge
Yet
didn't jon have 600 retinue ? jon you've disbanded your retinue !
Never ceases to amaze me what weird decisions are made in this XD like going to dinner with the demon-possessed cannibal.
"Now I think I'm trying to become immortal and that just seems like an odd thing to do at the age of 39 when I'm in good health."
Cancer: Let me just step right in.
Why would you want to murder a neighboring king who is abysmal? Wouldn’t you rather keep him around instead of risking someone better replacing him?
Jon's frolic with satan comes back to bite his arse, how quaint
1:28:02 Up, down, princess layer, wookie... if the next in line doesn't get Wookie, just call me Disappointment
You got the immortality quest!!!
Cannibal gives you an option to eat a random person you are carousing with, it has an almost 100% chance of working without them getting caught
Queen Yuselass "I can't sleep." Starts looking for immortality...
Well that escalated quickly.
"We welcome our first female ruler!"
*Looks at the ruler*
"o- oh"
Oh come on, Jon! You should have seen that coming from a hundred miles away!
Thank for more crusader kings!
RE-Watching for the 5TH Time! Still LAUGHING!!!
Looked it up, cannibals will pretty much always kill you if you invite them or get invited to carousing, likewise any lunatics or possessed people might cause a event where they eat someone and gain the cannibal trait during the carousing
THAT CANIBAL DIDN'T EAT THE KING! He used normal carousing option on you to try and increase his diplomacy and that is nice. It could make you good friends and even give you lifestyle trait if he had one (one of two diplomacy lifestyles). You've sent your spymaster to study technology. You never got positive answer from the other guy to end his plot. Your spymaster considered it's her time to be a ruler. King was assassinated and would on the weak title claimant with high state intrigue, but honestly it was the new wife. You accepted a bastard as yours ensuring her heir isn't of her dynasty.
Getting the court dwarf to cure smallpox lol
So that's 3 'Dwarves in the forest' only 4 more to go.
wow i cant believe he just lost king hektor through a cannibal honestly did not think that would happen
When a council member will not automatically vote with you, then you can request council support from them. If they like you enough, then they will promise to vote with you even if they would be voting against their own interest as a favor to you.
01:20:00 - Welcome to a fun series of quests. May the odds ever be in your favour.
Why is it that in every episode when your hunting dog dies, you ALSO kick the bucket? Jon was killed in battle not long after his dog passed, and Hektor got eaten not long after Tricky kicked the bucket.
So we've had King Arthur, Odin, Rasputin, and now Yuselass appears to be evoking Gilgamesh. Or Quin Shi Huang if you want to go even father east of Cornwall.
Next time on the Adventures of Cornwall: ROADTRIP!
The immortality event chain really only results in death. I wouldn't advice it
I’ve never clicked on something so fast in my life
59:37 What do i have to throw at people right now? I've got a son!
*throws son*
Jon murdered Hektor. There is no way he didn’t see that coming.
Yesterday Jon tried to get a man into his hole.
Today he got noshed on by a man.
Coincidence?
It's not Sunday is it? What a treat!!! :)
I just want to throw out there, even though this is 4 months late, that I had a matrilineal marriage to someone of the Byzantine empire as the Queen of Eire. Three spots back in succession so I think nothing of it other than a possible alliance. I have a kid and think "Cool, I have an heir now that isn't my inbred uncle". Next thing I know everyone's hats change and it turns out my 3 year old is the new Emperor and ruling with an iron fist.
When your faith points are 666, 27:26
-"I just got rid of my lover, so my wife should like me a bit more." John clearly doesn't understand how adultery works.
-You totally should've given your cannibal brother the title of Master of the Hunt.
If Yuselass becomes immortal, I will laugh in sheer satisfaction and fascination, because that would be awesome.