Why You Always Attract The Wrong Partner - Sadia Khan
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ค. 2024
- Sadia Khan is a relationship coach, author, speaker, and psychologist.
The divorce rate has been on a steady rise for decades. But are relationships actually getting harder, or is everyone just more fragile? The word trauma is thrown around an awful lot, but it covers all manner of sins, many of which are not trauma.
Expect to learn what people are getting most wrong about relationship advice, the factors that best predict divorce and a declining relationship, why the word trauma and its true meaning have become perverted, the insidious reason behind why partners insight chaos in some relationship, Sadia’s thoughts on the growing childlessness epidemic, whether Dubai is actually an Islamic haven & much more...
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#psychology #trauma #dating
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00:00 Intro
00:50 Sadia’s Background
03:30 Why the Sexes are Battling Each Other
07:23 Current Dating is Practice for Divorce
13:05 The Biggest Predictors of Divorce
20:45 What Actually is Trauma?
27:25 How to Fix Someone’s Attachment
33:34 The Demonisation of Femininity
47:20 Principles for a Healthy Man
54:10 The Unique Dating Scene of Dubai
1:03:27 What Sadia is Looking Forward to
1:05:17 Where to Find Sadia
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Get access to every episode 10 hours before TH-cam by subscribing for free on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw
Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - chriswillx.com/books/
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Get in touch in the comments below or head to...
Instagram: / chriswillx
Twitter: / chriswillx
Email: chriswillx.com/contact/
Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than TH-cam by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn. Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:50 Sadia’s Background
03:30 Why the Sexes are Battling Each Other
07:23 Current Dating is Practice for Divorce
13:05 The Biggest Predictors of Divorce
20:45 What Actually is Trauma?
27:25 How to Fix Someone’s Attachment
33:34 The Demonisation of Femininity
47:20 Principles for a Healthy Man
54:10 The Unique Dating Scene of Dubai
1:03:27 What Sadia is Looking Forward to
1:05:17 Where to Find Sadia
Women started hating men....Men are reacting in various ways depending on their situation.
@Chris Williamson
Sorry Chris. There's only 1 beauty in this video and it's not you bro.
@@K81Patel that's very judgemental!
Manipulating dating tactics on youtube ruined my love life and my mental health. Please speak against it.
I'll save you a hour and 5 minutes. It's because of emasculated men that don't mind being emasculated, and it's because of women being so masculine, bitchy money hungry and brainwashed to think they have power to be like men and that any true man would never want that. K have a nice day and enjoy your hour of extra free time. No need to thank me. That's just what guys do
"Behind every self-sabotaging behavior is a need that has not been met for a very long time." What an incredible quote.
I can't work out how that relates to over eating
@@stewheart Comfort. A way to self soothe.
Behind every self-sabotaging behavior is a need to satisfy the flesh.
@Tohlemiach you need to write that quote down. I did 😅
I feel that
As a Pakistani woman living in California, I always roll my eyes when I hear women in the west complain about oppression. I always say that I'm privileged that I am able to live here. The independence I have here I would never even dream of having in Pakistan. Women in the West don't realize how much freedom they have.
It because they pave the way for immigrants descendant like yall but for the original fighters the war isn't over. Have you see the attacks against women reproductive rights, the rate of women death giving birth, rare of reporting grapeand SA, the rate of feminicide...will you enjoy your.newly found women privilege some out there are still fighting for the XX while you resting in your soft femininity enjoy benefit of both side my love😊
I sincerely hope some western woman, somewhere, reads your comment and does some soul searching.
This is why a lot of successful men won't put up with western women with that mindset!!!
They know how much they have, it's just never enough. Western women don't know how to be happy with what they have.
Pakibunz‼️😀🤷♂️….says it all
Something I've learned after being with my husband for 13 years - married for 7 - is to just to stick to your commitment. There are going to be terrible fights, disagreements on where to move, finances, how many kids to have but those times are so fleeting. A tough month where it would be so easy to pack up and leave fades into months of cooking together, sharing funny memes on the couch, planning a roadtrip, smiling at each over our toddlers heads because they're holding hands and only WE can appreciate how sweet and perfect they are because we made them. Just stay married, don't say things you can't take back in the heat of a stupid argument, be nice to one another.
Life is too short to stay in a bad relationship for the rest of your life.
Thank you Shannon!😊
At 56, I plan on getting married to my GF of 3 yrs later this year. I love hearing advice from people with happy 10+ years of marriage
Oh, isn't there a reason for separation then? Mine was after realising that (when our kid was 1yo) she not only didn't let me go with him to visit my parents 100km away on my own (she didn't want), but sent the baby to her parents without asking my opinion, complained for how I did things, set obstacles for me to meet my people (not only friends but almost also my family), postponed about my suggestions, spied my emails, not assisted to counseling and asured she has no faults except maybe being "a bit jealous".
@Sobreira4 I'd agree maybe that is reason for separation but I'd also question why you married a person like that in the first place? Weren't there red flags prior to it? Or did this manifest post partem? In which case womens hormones are nuts and are adjusting to a huge life change. I'd also ask if your baby is better off with you separated from its mom? How are you bonding with your offspring? I don't want to judge I just hate how disposable relationships seem to have become.
You’re a gem!! Your husband is lucky to have someone with your mindset. Don’t change and many more years to y’all 👍🏽
I almost cried as a grown man I experience so much pain from how much I distance myself from others that I truly feel that even my close family doesn't love me. This has gotten out of hand and I'm ready to open up and change for the better
I believe in your strength and will able to achieve it!
Good for u ❤
Me too man, I believe in you
Please do so and let us know the result. I know a men also have trouble like you do, he isolate himself so much from the family and everyone else. I know he's so longly, cuz he say so all the time, he cried in front of me once, but went back to the difficult him again. He dosent want to make change just yet. Hope you have good result.
19:30
"but for men if the partner doesn't tell them, nobody does"
I can't express enough how true this is.
It‘s crazy, I didn‘t realize this until my boyfriend recently told me that he got more compliments from me on our first date, than in his entire adult life up to that point.
Quite right!
Not even my own mother said any of those nice things to me.
And this woman who calls herself my wife won't let go any opportunity to run me down, let alone compliment me ever!
@@ArmageddonIsHere I‘m very sorry to hear that. I can‘t imagine how much that hurts and I hope you guys can work it out. Thanks for sharing
This is the comment I was about to make too. THIS IS HUGE
I never thought about that before. I am very grateful for the awareness
Chris is determined to get to the bottom of these issues, and I applaud him for it.
@@user-kb1hw2yq2f Hey man! Do you mean that the core causality is the sexual revolution and freedom of women in that context? Or is it something else?
The problem is women lmao.
Too bad he banned the Ape from speaking here.
@@user-kb1hw2yq2f 🙄
@@pantsonfire2216 The whole point is that you have to find your own solutions. It’s your life.
“ Lonely people are attached to the internet most “ best quote
Gold diggers are attracted to marriage because divorce pays.
It's due to the fact that lonely people have no other option within their grasp.
Weed Is my Best Friend atm 🤷🏽♂️
@@AZITHEMLGPRO cheaper than a girlfriend,yes?
@@pablosilva6988 most def & way more insightful. I saw the simulation for it is last night
I’m a 21 year old woman and just want to say I’m so thankful for all this information. I’ve learned so much on how to have a healthy relationship which is so important since I didn’t see that modeled to me growing up, and I know most of my friends have not either.
women are the cause, being a gay man with a debunk uterus aka a modern women untill you hit the wall with only 7 percent of your eggs left and a triple digit body count ruined your chances.
any women over 25 today who isnt married and traditional has zero business telling women under 25 a mother f ing thing.
Make sure to pick a good man and be good to him and don't listen to the fembots or the counter example, live a fulfilling and intimate life, advice from someone who never did and its painful to say..
Doesn't change the family court system🤷
@@JohnAnderson-ev3lp men wrote the laws against themselves. simps !
If youve only seen it here its to late for you soz
Thank you so much for having me I loved this conversation ❤
Whilst you might not have a good role model yourself online, you are providing a pretty good North Star for many women to set their sights on.
You are amazing - Lex Friedman, then Joe Rogan. When is the book coming out?
Decent convo up until your racism to white women came out. Don't think you can just get away with this and make it a norm
It was a brilliant conversation. Your humility and confidence are astounding. You're truly wise, and so authentically asking for the other's opinion too, not just for sense of rapport.
@@PeterSodhi She's going on Rogan and Lex? Or are you just suggesting it?
I have an intelligent, beautiful, loving, loyal, and above all kind wife. If I'm ever feeling even a little down, I sometimes come to your channel and remind myself of how tough a time most young men are having with relationships these days. I don't know how I got so lucky, but it makes everything worth it.
@@croissants1280 I have barely any 'sh*t' to take. When she met me I was unemployed lol
Happy for your loving marriage🎉 I am also married and blessed with a kind husband. It’s disquieting how toxic people can be when you share about loving marriages being a thing😅
@@purpleflows5680 Right, they do actually exist!
You win bro! Enjoy it. 😢😊
@@edvenify haha I married an unemployed backpacker lol. Married 12 years and just had our sixth kid. Super happy haha
I had my kids in my thirties. No money, cheap holidays at home. Money came in and went out. Very poor but totally fulfilling and the LOVE was off the scale. In my 40 -60s I did loads of travel and all the things i "missed out on" earlier.
Not only did i appreciate it more but was so GLAD I waited. Now i have grandchildren. Its wonderful!
Now i have everything and great stuff to look back on!
This is one of the best conversations I have ever listened to - I'm a 46 year old women and the product of this culture, I so glad young people get to here her voice, more people need to speak with her. I have hope
I commented on how intelligent she is and some chick reply to me asking why i think so..... Lmao its over for u females. U only think she is great cause u 50
Humans hate three things
1. Loneliness
2. Boredom
3. Uncertainty
Humans will go to great destructive behaviors to make those go away.
Uncertainty is the worst
fax
The boxing gym took all that away 🥊
@@Deuteronomy31.6 I was thinking something similar.
When I was training at a boxing gym I didn’t feel those things.
Add one more very important thing to that list: lack of control
My only criticism is that it was too short, this woman was full of wisdom and knowledge, could’ve listened to another hour of her. Thanks Chris!
@@leesoutheast liar...liar...
Common sense now sounds like wisdom 😒
@@di3486 Seriously, she is not sharing some wisdom that anyone with common sense didn't already know. Woman seeking financial stability is far more likely to stray than the one seeking emotional stability? My god, she just sugar coated the following, a materialistic gold digger is far more likely to cheat on/dump you than a good girl looking for a normal relationship. Amazes me how people are amazed to hear these types of "advice" where I go "No shit, Sherlock!". Next topic: Men should not beat up their wives.
@@Turco949 Yes men should not beat up their wives. Is this advice or an example of a platitude. I am guessing the latter. However, I liked her delivery and clearly, some people need to hear this about golddiggers straying, you no doubt are older and wiser. However, labeling them golddiggers is a little negative. Better just to recognize them and move on and focus on good women I think this is why she "sugarcoats". I think because she worked in Dubai she has real first-hand experience with these women looking for an easy life and she is too professional to call them as Bill Burr would say God Digging Hos.
@@gpower9572 Neither advice or platitude but an obvious sarcasm (or so I hoped).
Those who are not sharp enough to hear this, are not likely to heed the warning either and will fall victim, regardless. We can only hope, after they fall victim once, they will wise up but that first time is likely to be inevitable for them.
My wife and I, at our evening meal, will sit down and tell each other 3 good things about our day. This provides connection and good comms which usually leads to interesting discussion.
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasnt going to let my marriage of 18years crash
amazing,i am kinda in a similar situation,how did you handle it?
@@peterwilliams6361 well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer
@@DavidVelasquez9 please how can i get in touch with the spiritual adviser?
@@peterwilliams6361 her name is *Victoria Lee Hess* ,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster
you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.
I’m so glad my wife and I don’t have silly cellphone addictions or post anything on lame social media. We have our own hobbies and we share common, fun, supportive healthy values. It’s easy to have fun with your partner if you’re not distracted and addicted to nonsense.
This was a great interview!
Admirable ❤
Then why are you watching this video and commenting? 😂
@@jasonmelo9379lol anyone who writes this in a video post if full of shit
Q
@@jasonmelo9379Addiction is the key word.
Key to success for men:
Self control
Key to success for women:
Authenticity
100%
Extremely pleased with this episode
Why would self control be more relevant to men and authenticity to women…? Weird take.
@@sinobunny Did you actually watch the video? I quoted her, and she did a pretty good job explaining it.
@@sinobunny Wahmen should be their true selves and sleep around while men need to be bodybuilding monks with millions in their bank accounts. Such wonderful advice!
I disagree with this take from her but agreed with many many things she talked about.
@@hughmungus431 I didn't interpret it that way. To me it was pretty clear: Generalizing, men struggle with self-control and allow their pleasure-chasing and egos to dictate their life choices and trajectories. Women on the other hand tend to let their vulnerable sides pull the strings on many occasions instead of acting on their true feelings. It could go both ways, either to protect themselves after being mistreated in the past (the 'divorce-preparing she mentioned) or allowing their hormonal cycle get the best of them during certain parts of the month. Everybody would be better off if men exercised more integrity and discipline with their choices, and women were more comfortable behaving more authentically and less defensively.
This conversation is monumental and addresses the biggest problem in our society-the breakdown of relationships at every level. Thank you for talking about this.
Sadia is the ultimate "Relationship Expertise" power animal! lol! Seriously, she is profoundly wise and articulates complex psychological relationship dynamics gracefully, intelligently, and in a way that is remarkably easy to understand. Wow! Exceptional. Go, Chris and Sadia!
Cuz she’s so wise from all the wears in a successful relationship and collecting data on them from real patients 😂
Sadia is one of the most impressive guests I have seen on your show. She exudes not only knowledge but compassion for others.
Her views on race in the UK is rather outdated. Mizzy was able to terrorize people for his pranks and 1) doesn’t worry about punishment and 2) got a mild tsk tsk from authorities after public outrage. Having dark skin clearly gives you an advantage in the UK.
@@AeimosReally silly take and sounds like you are buying into ethnocentric propaganda
@@justanotherface637 Pretty sensible take actually. If there really was so much fear of abuse from police, Mizzy wouldn’t feel so free to do what he did. 🤷🏻♂️
Simp Alert !!!
@@Aeimos Him feeling free to do what he did has nothing to do with him having darker skin what could possibly convince you that is the primary cause outside of right wing media pipelines?
What a brilliant, intelligent, eloquent woman. I love the way she explains how we should embrace and celebrate each other's differences as men and women.
Simp
Are men and women really that different though besides our obvious biological differences? What about psychologically speaking.
Amazingly different. Biological differences, especially neurological and hormonal, make us very very different. Especially in regards to our sexuality and mate selection.
The natural.differences should never be seen to be extreme but more subtle in nature
The fact that a man has the power do something but chooses not to is the most attractive thing ever. To master oneself is the highest form of value.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@@DarylSimpson58 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@@Kurt5Dobson this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
Never take her back.
@@DarylSimpson58Wishing you the best and to yours as well.
I came into this with a lot of preconceived notions about her and I feel as if she just slapped me across the face with the self control talk. I’m glad I watched this.
Yes, I found her very pretty too....pretty thoughtful about the whole conversation
She's a joke. She has strong female bias. Her message was guys need to exercise self control while women need to be authentic. Meaning men need to restrain themselves from indulging while women don't as long as they're being true to themselves and that's what they really want.
@@nattypatty3667 Men do need to excercise self control and stop making their women feel like shit by watching porn. The exact equivalent is if your woman was chatting with another man sending naked selfies. Would you like that? No. Stop doing to to your women. You are looking at your wife's enemy. Imagine yourself as a woman growing up in a world where female physical form is marketed everywhere to sell things. You have a female form of your own. The ones displayed usually have rich parents and ways to pay for plastic surgery you never feel good enough and then your husband goes and looks at those. Horrible painful, shameful awful behavior and men don't care.
@@rosehannah4845 Women do need to exercise self control and stop spreading their legs every 5 seconds. Funny how you ignore the "women need to be authentic" AKA "sleep around before settling down!" part.
@@nattypatty3667 That's not what I got out of her statement regarding what women need to be at all. In my experience, women tend to be generally more impressionable either by their surroundings, or by their feelings (due in part to their more complex/chaotic hormones), which results in them doing inauthentic things in their lives pretty often. This could be listening to bad advice from their peers or social media, changing their opinions on things to fit in with the crowd, allowing their memories of experiences to be distorted by how they feel one day versus how they felt on a previous day, etc.
Her comment came across to me as though she was saying that women need to take responsibility for all those kinds of things and be authentic to their honest desires and needs and not let all of these outside forces so easily obstruct their lives.
And I whole heartedly agree with her statement towards men needing to master discipline as well. As guys, our sexuality is an extremely powerful motivator that can single handedly destroy many aspects of our lives if left unchecked. This could be either on the end of sleeping around with tons of women and the many different kinds of consequences that can come from that, or slowly allowing ourselves to give up on being active participants in society due to a an ever increasing addiction to pornography to fulfill our strong sexual wants/needs. But just as much as it can destroy aspects of our lives, it can also lead to massive success, ambition, and achievements in our lives. I know that for me personally, when I've been interested in a girl (like to date and be in a serious relationship), my motivation has skyrocketed towards enabling me to just get things done in my life. Better hygiene, better sleep, more ambitious at work, more proactive about taking care of mundane responsibilities, etc.
Discipline is obviously valuable for both men and women, but with the way male sexuality is so straight forward compared to how it tends to be for women, learning to control it can be like unlocking super powers for men, especially those in their youth still.
Finally relationship advice that focuses on marriage being the end goal and sustaining that relationship through out your lifetime vs a bf or gf!!!!!
Look into Tony Gaskins. He also gives relationship advise based off morals & values .
Anything but changing the family court system.
I'm all for marriage. I think it's extremely important for our society and for our personal health.
But indeed, as long as the family court system isn't fixed, i and millions of other men will be out. I simply won't put up with a contract that literally rewards the woman for breaking it and punish the man, even if the woman initiate the divorce.
Personally i think a man has to be either mental or completely stupid to get married nowadays. I guess some just have to learn the hard way. To be honest, i am like that as well with many things, for example bad relationships. I got burned there a couple if times. But marriage? Never... I'm not thát stupid. Unless the divorce court system is completely reconstructed and actually FAIR, i will never marry.
Just looking at how things are going, this reconstruction isn't going to happen any time soon, so marriage rates will fall and fall (because men are waking up) and our societies will fall with it. I'm not even a pessimistic person, but just realistically looking at things: we are heading full speed at a clif.
Hard times are coming.
This is one of the best episodes of modern wisdom I've ever listened too. I listened to it on Spotify and came here just to leave a comment and a like subscribed to Sadia's channel she is super onto it and balanced incredible guest!
I love Sadia, finally someone sane to come and tell the people how things work in life and relationships actually
She's in her mid 30's and single. She doesn't practice what she preaches about.
@@evanfernandez9885 She is dating a hedge fund guy from Dubai, there is a reason why all the Eastern Europeans and conservative women date Arabs - not because of the red pill mentality…
She’s not a conservative from an eastern, Asian or Muslim POV.
Ain’t NOBODY calling men simps JUST for wanting a emotional connection with a woman. That’s Bvllsh!t. If a man is being called a Simp it’s mainly because he’s putting in far too much effort for a woman who hasn’t indicated any kind of interest or desire for him, or isnt matching his level of effort.
This.
Or worse yet, profiting from his loneliness as we see from OnlyFans. Which I consider immoral.
Accurate.
We all know the true simps are calling men that are in stable happy relationship simps because, they are jealous. I mean would you be jealous if you were single and every woman you met thought you were repulsive and then you look over at some average ,Bland looking dude with a woman taking care of each other. All I can do is pity those men. They refuse to do the introspection to fix their situation. Sometimes tge problem is literally you, but don't say that, they'll get violent.
@@AdelTheForsaken exactly!!
Holy, her voice is so beautifully calming to listen to.. lots of value here. Great questions asked and as a guest she was super engaged, curious and non judgmental. Hope you have her back again!
I really enjoyed this conversation that I randomly found on my feed. As a woman, I'm tired of the gender wars and appreciate the balanced views that were shared. I'll be doing a deeper dive into your channel and Sadia's content. Thank you!!
I hope not all men give up on marriage! We have a wonderful marriage but paid the highest price for it by losing our first child. Brought us tremendously closer. It’s impossible to get any closer. Now that we are finally having another child, I hope for my daughter that she finds a good man to marry and I will teach her the lessons I painfully learned!
Life is long, don't take anything for granted and be ready for everything. Wish you a long and peaceful life!
I haven't necessarily given up but it feels like trying isn't worth the hassle anymore with the ghosting, lies, scams, just being ignored in general. It's a mess and there are reasons why guys don't bother anymore and if they haven't completely given up they don't go out of their way
Marriage is pointless, there is nothing you can do _married_ that you can't do _unmarried_
Exactly there’s so many toxic men influencing men not to get married but when you find the right one. Marriage is beautiful
Give up on what? Marriage isn't a realistic expectation for most men.
When I told my peers that I want children, I got so much negative reactions. Every time I look for content about motherhood on the internet, there is always negativity and anger towards motherhood, especially from white women. The hatred of motherhood is very odd and sad
If it helps, people who want children tend to have them, and parents don't have the time to be having conversations with random people on the Internet, so people that don't want children are overrepresented. Especially since a lot of them are coping and trying to use a hive mind mentality to convince themselves they are reasonable.
I absolutely agree, not just that but a deep hate for mothers. They get blamed for bad childhoods, like it’s only in women that makes things go up or down. There are tons of books about blaming mothers. It makes it not worth being a mother. But, society has placed unrealistic expectations on women. I think it’s hatred of women in general. Hate is a commodity, where sex was used to sell stuff, now it’s hate. I think too, women are participate by hating each other. They’re own worst enemy. Men don’t help with their privilege positions in life.
@@loganblackwood2922 Look at any government, they are mostly men. I trust every word you said, though. Narcissism is everywhere to the detriment of everyone. But, once men were protectors now are victims. This show tells why men are setting themselves up for failure. It’s doesn’t mean it deserving, they don’t deserve any bad things in their life. Look at Incel, for instance they have boxed themselves in and rely on hate for women to promote their backward cause. Just being for yourself doesn’t work, one must have discipline and a sense of community that they belong to, to improve it. This says a lot about our society, narcissistic have taken over. From within we must make change. That we don’t hold people as valuable reflects back at us. Both women and men are important but being born a girl, she will never have the advantages that boys start out with. How many men worry about rape, fear of walking at night by themselves is never an issue for men. Men have a fighting chance, for the betterment of everyone. If women have children they are twice as vulnerable and poor without a family which includes fathers who know themselves and have common values, other then sex,sex, sex. We are more then this as stated on the show. But, we haven’t clued in. As Chris repeats it’s down to basic survival. We must look beyond temporary to sustainability. For both sexes, cause neither sex is anywhere close to being content. When seeking happiness, contentment flys out the window. We need to be self aware not feel victimized by our choices. And, they are our choices that we live the consequences.
@@loganblackwood2922 Nearly everything you mentioned is within your control.
@@ChickFenwick I can not agree with you more.
This woman is extremely concise and insightful. Incredible human.
And racist 40:51
@@prowl06 Lol please Google the word Racist
@Zodiac Wars Assuming someone is privelaged based solely on their skin color seems pretty racist to me!
@@creepyrobsta5509 Almost like it's the definition or something!
@Requisite Zero No, it couldn't be...lol
I enjoyed her explanation on trauma and its triggers. I had a moment where I just spaced out and started seeing it in my life. It feels good to know that there are logical explanations to some of my irrational behaviors.
This podcast hit all my hot buttons - eye-opening, resonating, and catchy informative, all the while raising awareness. Thanks! You and Sadia are great together, Chris!
This is your best conversation ever. That relationships are terribly difficult, and it's so easy to check out and so many do - but those who pay the price are the kids primarily and us long term. It's so easy to check out. And the price is so high. And we don't realise until it is too late.
I couldn’t resist to put the video on pause and write this comment. She is brilliant. Calm. Straight to the point. Deep. Deep. Deep. Wow. I am impressed.
This lady is a breath of fresh air! Thank you!
What a beautiful guest! I am thoroughly enjoying your conversation, you make such great points too, so happy to see two people being wonderful
A simp is a man who disrespects himself for women. Full stop. The guy who blows his money on onlyfans. The guy who lets his woman walk all over him and doesn’t stand up for himself. The guy who takes his woman back after she cheats multiple times. A guy who would do anything for a woman who wouldn’t lift a finger for him. That’s being a simp because in all of those cases the man is DISRESPECTING himself. That’s all it means.
"less risk" -includes casual sex in the list of generally beneficial things. Casual sex is always bad and is one of the largest contributors of this divorce problem - acting like physical intimacy can be casual (that would be removing the intimate part).
I know people like to blame the Internet and trust issues except life is not the Internet and trust issues have been largely justified. I had an ex that cheated on me with 2 different guys within a few months. I had friends who always talked about wanting to get with other girls while they were in relationships (one was engaged). I stopped talking to them because of it. And don't go on saying that those were just bad friends and I should find new ones. This behavior is pervasive, I shouldn't have to cut off half my friends just to avoid that pathology. It's already found across all types of media, not just the Internet. It's honestly just a part of American culture at this point.
Have you talked to anyone who wants to find a serious relationship? They are all miserable. You have to vet potential partners to see if they actually know and want real intimacy, so there's no jumping into relationships. The only way left to find a serious partner is to befriend them first and take things slow. And there's very few ways to meet people that way after college.
Casual sex actually has the most risk .!!! That’s so backwards
My ex used me as a rebound, then rebounded to another guy and has now rebounded to the next guy. One of the signs a woman is a 304 is she has ZERO shame, it's like they just don't care how trashy they look.
This is just how the dating culture is in the west, which is why i avoid dating and focus on myself.
@ch-yq5yn you have a point but that mostly goes for people who are actually willing to learn. Most people who hop from one relationship to the next are lacking in themselves
Casual sex is how young people learn how to be in relationships. Young people not having sex is a huge problem and sign of decay of society.
What an amazing interview. One of the best TH-cam videos I’ve watched for awhile. She has a very pure feminine heart. Every woman should watch this video.
A very powerful podcast. This is a must watch for anyone wanting an authentic relationship. Thank you for discussion self control for men. It’s so missed in the Mano sphere where they just tell you to increase body count.
Very true regarding the info given to us men!
The best lesson here is how they show respect for each other and listen and ask questions of each other about things they don’t know.
Bruh Sadia is popping off!! I've actually done some work with her before and taken coaching from her and she's honestly a great coach specifically with helping men reclaim their masculinity with a good blend of the rational and emotional elements. She helped me get out of a toxic relationship and gently placed me on the path to becoming a better man, relearning the values that matter the most and now I am in a healthier relationship with a woman who genuinely has the values which I am looking for to settle with.
Any guys who are looking for a coach to gain some clarity I can assure you she's not one of these "Don't ask a fish how to catch a fish" types. She's rare.
How the F is a woman going to tell you how to be a man, only your dad or brothers can impart that to you or grandpa or some familial relation, it isnt done in 1 session or 10, its over a lifetime and you dont pay for it. Its not a product you can buy like potato chips from costco.
@@eddie-ni5ox You’re aware that both men and women have masculine and feminine characteristics within them right? she helped build perspective by explaining the feminine emotional qualities with rationale which gave me insight to how i needed to change my own behaviour-
also not everyone has a dad present in their lives to teach them that so some of us have to seek out other measures to learn and employ on our own.
@Sravan.Allopi -- That is great to hear! I am thinking of having a few sessions with her as well and I am a woman :D
@@thegreengatsby9803 you should, Sadia is one of the few female counsellors that exist without an agenda under her work
@@kc6810 no wisdom is required, every thing has already been said and thought 500 years ago, 50,000 years ago, nothing is new at all, everything is as its supposed to be, decline and shrinkage is the future and it is what is planned and it is what is correct because the dead are the majority, they always have been.
One of the biggest problems we have in relationships today is, the over all mental health of so many people. Anger is pervasive and isolation is rampant. Leading to destructive behaviors.
I absolutely loved this conversation: very clear, educational and brought from an authentic place. I’m following you both, big fan. Keep up the amazing work, love it ❤!
This woman is a breath of fresh air! Great conversation!
Not all men who don’t want children are immature and not all women who don’t want them are selfish. Don’t have kids unless you want them! Not everyone is cut out to be a parent and that’s ok
True, they were always a % of population. However the population is getting bigger
@@TheFaro2011 not true - most developing nations have falling birth rates
It's strange hearing them talk about the "natural inclanation to reproduce"- the natural inclanation is to have sex and children are a byproduct from a time with no birth control. From my earliest memories I never had a desire to be pregnant or to give birth so idk what natural inclanation they're talking about. I wonder how they feel about adoption vs having bio kids.
This is probably the most intellegent conversation on dating and relationships I have heard in a long time, most content creators are flaud people who have no business giving advice....Bravo.
That was one of the best videos I've seen on youtube, literally changed my life. Chris, you seem to have the most amazing guests, especially the psychologists, this isn't the first amazing one you've had that was amazing. I loved Sadia's point that
podcasters that demonize men/women 'don't get it, they get you,' there's an element of truth to men and women sometimes behaving badly, but often most men/women don't act the way these pod-casters say they do. Probably most do want to care. Thanks for the positive influence.
Amazing podcast wow. This is so refreshing to see for me. I agree with everything Sadia said and really feel like what we are fed online is messing the whole modern dating scene up. Sadia is super emotionally intelligent and she hit every point on the head. We for sure need some more female role models spreading this truth. You are a great interviewer Chris.
My stretch marks from having 6 beautiful children spell, “you kick ass!” when I see them:) There are days when I reminisce about my former body but then again my memories of carrying my children and the marvel of those experiences far outweigh the alterations to my body. Plus, my boys tells a story of miracles and life! I’m very blessed!
Indeed you are. I feel the same way about my nine. Here's to you, mama!
Yeah I still prefer to make it happen Hillary fake Spanish accent Bsldwin and remain skinny. If I need a remembering I'll take picture thank you.😊
@@adouloslabelh2957 😂
6 boys! Wow! 💪🏼 You rock!
This woman! Is gold! Amazing take! The way she articulates everything is essy to diguest for those come with a close mind. Awesome video! 👌
GREAT EPISODE.
YOU GUYS TOOK IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL BY OFFERING REAL UNDERSTANDIG OF WHAT IS CAUSING THE PROBLEM AND OFFERING CLEAR SOLUTIONS.
LOVE IT.
👍🏼
Finally, two level headed minds got together to discuss modern dating. Most discussions I watched on TH-cam are biased and provide a solution based on bitterness and resentment.
Really enjoyed this conversation between Chris and Sadia. Godspeed Sadia on your mission.
Great talk! You guys nailed the subject all around. What’s left to do is to keep it in mind and apply!
This is like a rap battle between two self care specialists who just went to and fro without taking too much time 😂
But seriously though, each and every sentence they put together is legit gold. ❤
Like Sadia and Chris, I am also from the UK. The UK divorce courts are the worst and the judges are extremely biased in favour of the wife. In my divorce, I lost 70% of all my money, assets and house, despite my wife earning more and us only having 1 child. My divorce has financially ruined me. Men in the UK have absolutely no idea how dangerous marriage is. Fortunately its going extinct.
It’s similar here in the U.S. I don’t know how women still claim to be oppressed when looking at the extreme inequality in divorce courts. Women end up being fully supported by the man. I have met too many divorced men who are financially strapped and tied to exes, and it just makes for an untenable dating scenario.
@@thedevilandhertrumpets4268 Thousands of men self-delete due to divorce. And millions of men consider deletion but then decide against it and rent a crappy 1 bed apartment or move back in with their parents. Marriage is completely off the table for any sane man. These divorce judges are ruthless.
I am not at all familiar with UK courts. Did the judge cite a reason as to why they found in favour of your ex wife?
I don't think this is restricted to the UK. I think people should return to the contracted marriage of former centuries.
@@dahliaherrod4301 I had a female judge. She didn't cite a reason. She was just very biased, believed all my wife's terrible and obvious lies, and did everything in her power to divert as much money as possible to my wife to maintain her standard of living (at my expense). She was completely ruthless. I should have complained about her but missed the 3 month deadline.
This woman is incredibly brilliant and everything she says speaks to me. I'll try to listen more of her content
Thank you Sadia and Chris, incredibly interesting conversation. This is one of my favorite ones! ❤❤❤ great job!
What a brilliant woman. I love her. Love this conversation. Love you Chris! Well done guys! ❤
Sadia Khan is sooo articulate and brilliant.....she speaks with such a well of empathy..... I am soo grateful that this conversation is out in the world
She bad
Chris, I've been watching your content for the past few months and enjoy what you are putting out, but this one - and listening to what Sadia is saying - is sooooooo amazing! The 46:00 / 47:00 mark about how each gender can become healthier in their own unique way was so eye-opening on such a simple, but effective way. Keep up the great work, sir!
"You don't know what suffering is, you haven't experienced it, but you want to because it gives you meaning and purpose." That is so incredibly-said.
this is nonsensical like 'pain is love' bs
I really enjoyed how Sadia also asks Chris questions, it makes for a much more dynamic conversation. I also like hearing what Chris thinks, more of his personality comes through rather than just being a neutral unbiased interviewer.
Great episode, Sadia was so clear and asked follow up questions to clarify what Chris meant, will listen to this again, got so much out of this!
This Lady is Amazing!! So insightful and intelligent, many of the things she said I can totally relate, especially the craving connections part! thank you very much for this video
One of the main reasons why modern dating is such a struggle, is because most of us are trying to date out of our league. Things like social media have turned us all into instant narcissists. We have convinced ourselves that we are uniquely Attractive, and are qualified for the actual attractive people in the room 😂
One of the best and most insightful discussions I've had the privilege to listen to. Thanks to both of you for putting this together.
As a happily married women of 18 years. It is absolutely heartbreaking to witness modern day tragedy around what could be a beautiful intimate and monogamous relationship / marriage. Marriage and monogamy is absolutely beautiful 😢
People are overly vocal and adamant manner online but don’t speak our own needs to their face.
Society is so broken because they choose to sever the connection cord.
Yep, just like mothers sever the connection cord by sending their baby boys to the cutting table to be sxly tortured and permanently mutilated via circumcision. The amount of attachment trauma and secondary mental illnesses that mothers have created is unfathomable. It's going to take generations just to start reversing all this, and that's only if there's an intense focus on fundamental male human rights. But females will always be undermining that possibility, so our psyches and society will continue breaking apart. A good thing no doubt; if females are incapable of respecting male human rights, then they should be unmarried and childless.
I'm a woman, was married 18 years until I divorced.
@@AnitaBJay lol circumcision was made by men
Don't forget to blame the family. Courts and the crooked judges.. They always side with the woman . That's why men don't marry these days or have kids much less date
@@rf-uj5sc MGM was made by a few men, and demanded by most women. FGM was made by women, and outlawed by men (all FGM rituals in africa and middle east are woman-created and woman-performed).
That there are real women out there like Sadia gives me hope.
From my experience most women are like her. The ones that aren’t just tend to be the loudest
@majestichuman4333, you don't have much experience then
@@smokingcrab2290it's a class thing. Most middle class + women are like this.
Most women dragged up in poverty and dysfunction are the ones you seem to qualify for.
@@smokingcrab2290 Agree
So spot on! Out of the guise of “self care” society is bending more and more towards selfish. And love is SACRIFICIAL in it’s very nature.
This woman is very articulate and has great insight. I need to find more of her stuff.
As a woman, there’s a reason I don’t compliment men. I actually used give guys compliments a lot growing up because I just liked complimenting things I liked about people. I stopped because they kept assuming I liked them. If I say, “You have really cool hair,” or “You have a nice smile!” it doesn’t mean I want to sleep with you or date you. Many of my female friends have expressed this same sentiment. I can tell another woman she’s pretty without her reading into it.
Aside from that, this was a really good conversation. I wish it was longer!
I've learned that you have to compliment a man like you are a man. For example: those shoes are fresh dog! None of them asked for my number, thank God😋
@@AdelTheForsaken 🤣 not quite how I speak, but I’ll take note!
Most men rarely, and I mean *rarely,* ever receive compliments from a woman. I think that's why some men will take a womans compliments the wrong way.
Err, she was talking about complimenting your male partner not randoms.
You think only women have this issue? I have never complimented a woman in my life for that exact reason, i don't want to be assumed of fancying them for a harmless compliment.
Your advice just answered what I'm actually going through and how I should be thinking to resolve my cognitive mishaps. Much appreciated
Thank you for having a woman like Sadia to speak to us. We need her advice
Amazing conversation between two healthy people.
Great interview Chris. I have seen Sadia appearing on other podcasts but they never really asker deeper questions or probe deeper into a topic. Great stuff.
p.s. Impressive stack of books behind you!
She's brilliant. Learning so much from this and other podcasts she's done recently. Thanks for this convo Chris. Excellent questions and scenarios, as usual.
women are the cause, being a gay man with a debunk uterus aka a modern women untill you hit the wall with only 7 percent of your eggs left and a triple digit body count ruined your chances.
any women over 25 today who isnt married and traditional has zero business telling women under 25 a mother f ing thing.
I literally feel like my brain was just feed! Thanks for intellectual conversations! I learned much in this conversation.
This is such a masterclass in relationships. Sadia K. Is the 🐐
I am in the middle of a divorce. With her 26 years, married almost 20 and 4 wonderful kids. She was a SAHM for that time and volunteered at the kids schools. As time went buy she became less content as time went on. I told her to get a job and get some time to herself as she always said what a great life I had out with clients etc (i am in sales). She tried a few jobs and always quit. I am the one who woke up early and made breakfast for the kids and had them ready for school, I coached their teams and drove them to their events. What I am saying young fellas is that these modern women are sold on the lie of equaltiy and to find balance an be happy. Never I would recommend a marrage with a western woman, ESPECIALLY a liberal. We wont even talk about the lack of sex and as soon as I filed divorce she was getting tag teamed by 2 24 year old dudes because... " I'm single, I deserve to have fun. I might just fu k the whole baseball team" really, you can't make this stuff up. Also.. I am 6'3" 225.. they will never be happy. You wan't kids, get a surrogate.
Thank you they will never be happy. Modern women are too spoiled.
😂go get therapy bro you definitely contributed to it
100%
Oh my. Sorry
@@twainalex996 I absolutly did, and I am going to therapy, throught this I have also realized it is not all my falut as she has said its 110% my doing.
Sadia has a good understanding of the balance needed on both sides. What particularly impresses me about her is I find (in my opinion) her understanding of men is excellent. She understands triggers, needs and wants.. honestly for a female coach to understand men like this is impressive. Most red pill are trained not to take advice from female coaches!
this is called studying
Wow !!!!! I think it's one of the best interviews you've ever had., thank you, brilliant 🌟
Really fascinating video ! I love to listen to Chris and now I have a new favorite in Sadia ! You two are amazing together....I learned so much.
She is reiterating what a previous couples psychologist on this said “ women need adoration, men need to be respected.” That resonated with me so much. I try to compliment my husband on his appearance and how he is a father and provider. He feels respected as a man. Sade is correct. Men are starved for adoration and respect..
She totally makes sense 😍Loved the whole podcast. 🙏
Great conversation that addressed the issues of men and women, without attacking one side or the other.
Sadia is exquisite. You consistently deliver satiating content! Thank you!
Also, it's not "communication" that predicts divorce. It's CONTEMPT.
While I understand her point of saying people "Should" listen to Actual therapists and doctors.....the last few years have proven that even those individuals cannot also be trusted or have our best intentions in mind.
Truly amazing guest Chris. Sadia is an amazing breath of fresh air
I disagree with her that the reason divorces are increasing is due to distraction…it’s because women now have freedom. Human nature hasn’t changed in the last 50 years; women’s access to resources and ability to function independently has. People didn’t love each other more in the “old days,” the women had no choice but to stay and therefore sucked it up.
Yes but now they're having their cake (wedding?)cake and eating it too.
People are at each other's throats now, so what now, you snarky bi***?
And yet, women like you are still unhappy. It’s you, not men.
I love this kind of content. Even though I’m married I still obsess over it. I think it’s because I struggled so much before I met my wife (and still do to some extent) and I want to understand why. Conversations like this really help to illuminate issues I slogged through in the past and help me better understand how I arrived at the conclusions I arrived at about women. My only concern is that this is a conversation between two stunning people about dating and I worry most (and I say this with the upmost respect) average people will look at this and just dismiss it thinking there’s no way these people face the same struggles with the opposite sex, they must be throwing themselves at them.
I can assure you beautiful people have to face the same kind of trials and tribulations in relationships. Long-term relationships go beyond just looks, but I hear your point :)
@@joane24 never said they wouldn’t know what they were talking about because they are beautiful, I said that I worry people who aren’t as good looking will dismiss the message because they think they would have a far easier job of finding a partner. Believe me I’ve been in gyms for decades I know how hard physiques are to build
Very good advice! I agree people expect their mate to be everything and when they aren't it is disappointment and resentment. I have been married 20 years as well and view things similarly.
Interesting comment, much appreciated
@ch-yq5yn very well said. As someone who has been married for 20 years, I agree with everything you said.
What a refreshing informative podcast ,I love that clarity and the light that is shed here so that people can learn to heal from traumas and love eachother so that relationships can last!! 43:18
to fall in love, to trust, to be vulnerable, are terrifying but beautiful feelings as they open portals to some of the greatest learning, accomplishment and most satisfying moments of your life....