3 UPDATES: Parents Told Me To Quit My Cashier Job Because It Was Embarrassing For Them And Said...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- 3 UPDATES: Parents Told Me To Quit My Cashier Job Because It Was Embarrassing For Them And Said They Would Cover My College Tuition So I Did It But Now, Weeks Before I'm Supposed To Begin… They Sit Me Down With Some Bad News And I Just Smile At Them Because I Knew This Was Gonna Happen… Now They're Mad Because I Have "Ruined Their Reputation"
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I (17m) am supposed to start college in a couple of months and recently, my parents told me that they did not have any money set aside for me so I would have to make my own way. I already knew that and so, I had taken certain measures to prevent myself from getting into any sort of financial trouble before I was supposed to start college. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I had a job, it did not pay much but at least I had some money for myself and I could at least just travel to the location of my college if not anything else. And when I quit my job because of them, I did something else and now I’m getting a lot of flak for it. I have already been accepted into the school of my choice, and I have every intention of attending.
So they would rather their kid actually struggle then appear to be struggling
Having a job, any job is not an embarrassment!! Nta
$ex worker is an embarrassment to many families. MLM is to others. TH-cam lying about how awful your family is.
Working in a book store is respectable in any culture.
This kind of pride can drag people down even harder.
99.99 percent of parents would be PROUD of their child for obtaining and maintaining a job and in this 0.01 percent family you have to hide it from them the way most kids have to hide alcohol or cigs? That is disgusting.
Having a father with this much pride is insane
I wouldn’t call it pride. It’s more like stuck-up pretentiousness mixed with an inferiority complex.
I'm guessing they are not in the United States.
Pride is the worst of the deadly sins.
Not even close like funny statment but not even close like wrath leads to genicide lust leads to SA greed leads to destroyong everyones lifed for minimal hain , price is alongside hluttony in more a self harming din like the least of the dins not worst
My parents would been delighted as long as I kept my grades up.
Yeah; what country/culture is this where parents are ashamed of their children working??? I'm petty, so I'd keep my job and make sure everyone knew I was saving up for college since my parents couldn't afford to send me. These people are sacrificing OP for their own pride.
ANY GOOD PARENT, should be happy if your child is doing well.. they suck hard!
Same here.
The parents are beyond lost. Dad's worse because he's the dominant problem, but both parents are terrible. How could they allow themselves to get so sucked up that they'd rather their son financially struggle through college than take the full ride from their grandparents? If OP didn't stick to his guns, they'd still be acting like this.
I wonder if the parents think it's less embarrassing to deny OP college or pile huge student loans on them? Have a child who works in a cafe all their life? In my family, having a child go to college was a source of pride.
@@lynnw7155 The only reason they found it better that he worked while attending college was that the college was far away from their town, making it less likely for anyone that knows them to find out about their financial situation. Also makes it easier for the parents to claim to peers that they're paying for OP's tuition.
I get the dad was in denial stage, couldn't accept that he who used to give help now needs help... human nature
Sometimes, pride is a sin. I feel for your entire family. Hopefully, your family will recover and be at peace.
Wow, absolutely NTA. Your parents are beyond insane, extremely prideful, have massive ego's & are incredibly unreasonable! You did good getting a job & providing for yourself & your future. Your parents view of how people see them even tho everybody already know's the truth is ridiculous & just plain sad, let your damn ego go for God's sake! Your Dad's a real piece of work & im glad your mum came around tho
Yep, too prideful!
Some rich parents are delighted that children are going to look for a job and just for pay for college or for living expenses....op's parents are to too proud or stupid to see this...
I am not even sure of what i just read? Kid being responsible, gets job, parents say no, its embrassing because it look like we cannot put you through college then says take student loans. Wtf!? Then gets mad again when the kid knowing they can not afford this goes to grandparents and parents mad again. No to student loans! Its a trap! Make minimum payments and you keep sinking! Some people paid 20 years and owe more than the original debt and paid the equivilant of the loan if you took out the interest!
I have known a few rich families. They usually approve of their kids getting a job and learning through experience as long as they keep their grades up. Families don't become rich by avoiding work.
Although that might be why the family business is failing.
Ops dad sounds like a prideful fool but a good man at the same time. He just needs to realize that theres nobody you need to impress, all those aholes your trying to show off for arent going to pay your bills or help you out financially. Impress yourself and your family by finding ways to make ends meet. Who cares if you cant dress up all fancy in front of a bunch of stuck up snobs who believe wealth is everything. Your health and well being comes before all of that.
LOLOL…”Cut him OFF”??? …HA‼️‼️‼️….They had Nothing to “inherit”‼️‼️‼️😂😄😂‼️ They are a JOKE‼️‼️‼️
The father needs personal counseling as well there is some serious underlying issues there
If I was OP, I would have them put their promise down in writing.
My parents refused to let me get a job while in high school because they wanted me to enjoy my childhood. They PUSHED for me to go to community college when I just wanted to work and save up for a car and then go to school. I did what they asked of me and applied for school and got all signed up just for them to tell me they weren’t going to help me financially and that I was an adult and I gotta figure it out now.
Your parents love drama. The create it and wallow in it. When you get a good job they are going to have their hand in your pocket as soon as you start to get paid. So what if they cut you off. They aren't offering to help you through college so it's not like they are offering you anything to cut off
The parents couldn’t seem to get past their own pride and ego.
OP should ask the parents why they’re so casual about directly lying to their kid, who trusted and depended on them to be honest.
Kids of even rich families work in jobs - so as to be taught how to work and to not be worthless, so the parents' image wouldn't have been marred. Further, I suspect the parents were also half-hoping that the kid would stay local and help at the cafe.
I don't understand the obsession with going to college. Like you don't even need a degree unless you're going into a specialized field. 48% drop out, and 50% end up getting a job within 10yrs that doesn't even require their diploma! So many people go into debt they have to pay for decades when they could get a job and work their way up, maybe take some community college courses for specific subjects they might actually have use for. You put off starting your life and then start off with mountains of debt, then you have to put off having a family, so on and so forth! I just don't get it. However, I'm glad OP's parents let go of their superficial pride and are doing better and that he actually learns something useful to him. Sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders and is very responsible for his age. I wish them all the best❤
College is essential for Americans hoping to do white collar work, and not back-breaking manual labour, since American high schools have dumbed down, relative to other countries. Kids can graduate at 18 with knowledge similar to that of 16-year-olds elsewhere. In our "knowledge economy," ignorance is not a virtue.
NTA! If OP’s parents want to let their pride drag them down, then so be it but that doesn’t mean Op should be dragged down as well!
This young man's father sounds like a disgusting person who cares more about impressing people than he does about the welfare of his own son.
Or his wife for that matter, she was wanting to swallow her pride the entire time but he refused. Sheesh.
Story one
Why would your parents be embarrassed by you doing honest work, they appear to be snobs I don't think your parents have been very good to have made no account for you since your birth putting a small amount every month for your education would have meant you had a education fund I believe they should have acted like adults and admit they had a economic issue but they where not willing to admit they where not doing well in the business so they made you quite your part time employment to show their facade of being well to do
Everyone should have been proud of you for trying to show you where acting responsible I cannot believe your parents though you where not acting like a responsible person I think you getting savings for college they prefer you to stagger under student loans or what don't attend college I really think your parents are the shameful people
Are they going to lie you till the told you you are not going to college I cannot believe that their vanity works destroy your future
These 2 have more ego than care for their own child. They have no problem making their child take out loans and be in debt for the next couple of decades rather than admit they can't pay for college, not to mention making him quite the job he had taken to ensure that he could attend school. Their ego comes before their own son, saying they will disown him if he doesn't lie to his grandparents that he doesn't need the money for school, implying his parents will pay for school while making him take out loans or work his way throughout school (where none of the parents can see him). The mother may have come to her senses but the father's main concern is his image, only what others think of him...appearances matter more than his son, his wife going to parties wearing jewelry over providing his child with an education. This man needs to discover his family and their well being tops his appearance/image to others.
As a teen, it should be taught to you early on that you should have the ability to make plans that don't rely on your parent(s) assistance. It is a necessity if you lose your parents, but it's a must-have if you have emotionally and financially abusive parents, the type that insist that you must follow their plan for your life or else they'll throw you out of your home and you'll be forever homeless and unable to recover unless you come back grovelling to them begging for forgiveness. Even if they promise to provide for you whilst you do higher education, they could suffer financial downfalls to not keep their promise, or it could be a ruse to make you a obedient servant who drops everything to serve them, or it can be another form of control (eg: "You WILL do bachelor of X! I don't care if you want to do a degree in Y!")
These parents are literally insane
OPs parents: we can't pay for it and you can't get a job and you can't ask your grandparents for help. But, of course, you still have to go to college.
Seriously, there is pride and then there is whatever they have.
What OP should have done is flatly tell his parents that everyone knew they were struggling financially and their show was fooling no-one. They would have been outraged but it would have saved a lot of heartache in the long run. OP also needs to tell them that it is more important to save money to reinvest in the cafe than to show off and pretend to be richer than they are. That holds for everyone!
Your parents need to grow the heck up
Ahhhh, I love a happy ending!
Why is it shameful for a kid to have a part time job. It should reflect well on the parents to show their son wasn’t a spoilt little rich boy.
Pride for the sake of being proud is extremely self destructive. Not to mention tedious. These parents needed a slap in the face with reality.
Good kid. I cant help but wonder why the parents are so dead set on sabotaging the kids education and lifetime financial security.
I am not a native Spanish speaker, but the word "orgulloso" comes to mind when describing the parents. The word means proud or satisfied, but it looks and sounds to me like it means full of oneself (I'll have to ask a friend if it has that same specific meaning in Spanish). These parents are neurotically immature and concerned with what the outside world thinks when no one is thinking about them at all, or at least wouldn't be if they didn't go to such lengths to appear still successful.
Only few would understand what OPs father was going through.
And when he cried that day, i can understand how heartbreaking it has been for him..
And OP also didn't leave his parents. Families stick together❤
The OP’s father needs to see a therapist. He needs to unlearn his foolish ideas. He cares too much about what other people think.
It’s so easy to distinguish the cultural differences in a lot of these stories, pointing to their origins.
These parents were too proud for their own good. They felt that their kid working or borrowing money was a reminder of failures and shortcomings.
What parent dislikes a hardworking child?
I would have let them know, "Your pride is overruling your common sense, I'm not that vain."
Most parents would be very proud of a child that got a job
OP, your parents are totally wrong and terrible people. You looked around at your situation and realized that your parents were not in a good financial place. So you did something very responsible and mature and went and found yourself a job. That was wonderful and showed that your are hardworking and resourceful. I also showed that you were doing everything you could to take some of the burden off of your parents. Your parents should have been proud of you, and the fact that instead they were concerned about their reputation and how they would be though of proves just how shallow and self-absorbed they are. You have nothing to be ashamed of and anything you did is justified. Your parents are just lousy parents and lousy people because they could not see what an amazing young person you are.
Ego
Comment to the parents, "So, what you're saying is that YOUR pride is more important than MY future. You should be ashamed!"
Pride is nice ...until it affect others!
The parents were selfish!
Their ego was more important than their son's future!
His parents are too proud. The people who care what other people think are just miserable
Oh please. OP's parents are terrible business people. I know lockdowns were hard on companies, but these are people from well-off families who had no idea how to manage their money, or manage a business, and had neglected to learn from their parents how to be ready to back up when things get bad. They probably didn't do anything to improve their shop's visibility, because they never had to before.
In hindsight is 20/20, OP could have reacted to the presence in the store of the lady who knew his family of greeting her by name with a big smile and looking SMUG about her seeing him there.
What stupid people, caring about others people think as more important that their kid future.
I don’t get it: I have several friends with entrepreneurs/ businessowners as parents and all of them had a small weekend-job in highschool. And none of their parents minded. It was considered a good thing as a job will teach you the value of money as well as discipline and dedication. The parents are definitely the AH. For being so strict with OP and for getting themselves in a hole with the whole ‘keeping up appearances’-attitude. When life changes, you adjust to the new situation. The parents didn’t and that made their financial predicament bigger every month.
This story is slightly confusing. Ops dad has a ego and he is fine with op going to public school yet having them work is a bad thing. They aren't rich yet grandparents can put op through college.
It sounds like the grandparents are rich or come from old money. The dads pride started when they wanted their own Cafe. Because of the popularity he got a big head and saw him as a celebrity.
Also why would it be so scandalous that op is working. Unless they live in some super rich area. There are a lot of inconsistencies in ops story. Feels like there are things missing here or op change to much to not get recognized. Or this is just someone's story they posted and it's not real.
Dang. Only 17 yo but quite the head on his shoulders
update 1.. op completely ignores his parents attempt of destroying his future, and the fact his grandparents are willing to help... makes no sense at all, since his pride is fine with living off his grandparents money...
At the end: OP is not thinking straight. He wants to come back and work in a failed business because it's a part of his heart? Then why go to college? Just to get some alphabets after his name? OP should instead work in a series of restaurantsin various roles so he can fit into his parents' dream cafe!
It's seriously pathetic to care more about your reputation than the well-being of your son, who is also being a responsible young man and is trying to work to get himself ahead of life. But you would rather lie to him and Make him quit his job because you feel ashamed. You should be proud that your son took such a great initiative. I don't feel any sympathy for the father crying because he is choosing his image and pride over his own son's well-being and future. And to scream at your wife because she also made a sacrifice to get the money to help her son? How incredibly selfish and arrogant must you be?
What kinda 17 year old ever says life is short?
More importantly, who the hell tells a 17yo, or anyone else for that matter, for not immediately abandoning their parents at the first sign of problems. I mean, it's one thing if there's abuse in the mix, but this is a story of pride run amok. Seriously, Internet, get a grip.
Thanks!
So being a compulsive liar to those closest to you is obviously less shameful than working a... Part time job...
OP says he has had a tough life, but i disagree. he has had everything handed to him on a silver platter. and I feel that he looks down on people who need loans or works through college because he felt he was too good to take that route.
While true but that was how he was raised like who needs to hide having a part time job
All of them are boring.
Thomas Kimberly Young Timothy Lewis Sarah
Gonzalez Charles Walker George Martinez John
Hall Dorothy Robinson Gary Garcia Christopher
Hall Paul Harris Maria Rodriguez Richard
Jackson Jose Davis Michelle Young Patricia
Why didn't you point out that your parents took $$$ from the grandparents to start their business, so it should be no different for you to have $$$ for college .
Martinez Barbara White Ruth Jackson Carol
Williams Ronald Thompson Sharon Martinez Sharon
Hit
Robinson Dorothy Robinson Sandra Taylor Linda
I don't think anyone is a true villain here lots of cafes and restaurants have struggled because of COVID and have had trouble recovering. The fact that the father was too prideful to get help is sad but doesn't make him an evil person. In the end the family came together to help each other out. This actually a rewarding story
Imagine demanding YOUR CHILD suffer because of false pride ? Crap parents will cancel the school acceptance if they can. You better cover your butt. Let them lose everything living on the street. Mom and dad should be asking in laws for support or they will lose everything. I’d leave the father if he demanded my child ruin their lives. I wouldn’t let anyone stop my child from succeeding. Why would the father be so selfish ?