Honestly being friendzone is already ruff on its own, but being friendzoned by your significant other is pretty harsh, but if someone you married that’s just…Cruel. [Edit] I’m glad OP and his wife relationship is getting better and focusing, on themselves for the betterment for each other and personally.
Tbh in 99%of the cases the friendzone isnt real. When a girls says "i just see you as a friend" it doesnt mean she doesn't want a relationship because you're friends. It means she doesn't find you romantically and/or physically interesting. Teenage dudes just take the wrong message from that
I have spent 6 years now in a "friendzone" with occasional signs of affection with if I am lucky a hug per week and a kiss every 6 months. Last time I had sex was over 6 years ago. I have stayed with my wife for my children but my my needs are ignored and at some point in time I will have to save myself.
OP should have divorced his wife the moment the word "platonic" came from her mouth. She wanted a platonic relationship on his end only. She wouldn't have to do any wifely duties, but he would still 100% have to provide and protect her. She revealed her hand.
For the Juliana story, I wouldn't have told her what I was feeling, I would have told her, "Just tell him what you told us. He'll understand." Then, see what happens.
I honestly never wanted to be friends with any woman.. ever. And I am honest about that and up front with it though. I even told my wife early in our relationship that if I'm ever hanging out with some woman that's not you, I'm either cheating or trying to
@@NikolaitheBard lmao well whatever. I'm sure you know some 'really cool' women that you're totally not trying to fuck. I personally can't even stand having even a short conversation with most women
The ‘friend zone’ is totally real, but it’s not when two people become friends after one of them is attracted to the other and is rejected. It’s when one uses the other as a surrogate SO while keeping them interested and single for emotional gratification (attention, drama, support, etc, even money). When one party is pissed off that when the other gets an SO, that’s usually an obvious tell and a typical outcome of friend-zoning
Not completely through the update but for story 1, it feels like OP's wife is an extrovert with a super small friend circle. To explain, introverts and extroverts are not recluses and social butterflies respectively, they just get social "charge" in different ways. Introverts will drain themselves if they have to interact with others for an extended period of time outside their comfort zone, while extroverts will thrive in similarly social settings. My advice would be to invest in hobbies, like watching sports, or doing family crafts, and find other friends with similar interests to be able to bond, and help the wife recharge her emotional batteries
I’m being so fr, how the hell do you go from “I love my partner :3” to; “I hold resentment for you and I want to be platonic friends”. Like what. The only way I can think of something like this that would make sense, is discovering you’re aromantic or something 🏃🏻♀️💨
@@Avrysatos Along with pretty much everything else that's normally enjoyable about life. Kudos for OP for trying to stick through and help them try to reconnect rather than noping out immediately though
For me it happened almost two years into dating when while driving she did a punishment pass to a cyclist, immediately lost all romantic interest and became disgusted by her touch. It was such a blatent display of how little she either thought about her actions or of other people, either way it was one of the biggest turn offs I've ever witnessed. Desire for her never returned and we're just part of the same friend group now.
@@NikolaitheBardcyclist here. Its when an automobile drives really close up on you (side by side) and rev their engine, typically to scare or force you off the road. Its a dangerous and mean-spirited way to tell cyclists (bicycles, motorcycles, scooters/mopeds) that "we don't being on the road'. It has led to many cyclists being scared, hurt and in some instances killed
I love Story 2, omg, I hope she and her friend's mom remain close, and hopefully her mom can grow to be accepting of her daughter's hair. It means a lot to her.
tbh in the first story it sounds like they were codepant on eachother and didn't have many around them outside of the relationship, which also then makes sense why their swinger situation made the relationship better for a while because they pretty much were around others as well. being constantly with just 1 person and isolating from other types of relationship isn't good. doing that 180 methood was good, because it gave both of them needed space to breath and not be so stuck to each others side. probably also might be that she felt smuttered, cuz from the 180 approach and her upset, it does sound like he might have been unintentionally love bombing. so I am genuinly super happy for OP and his wife
OMG S3 like seriously... OP is a hero she saved those kids from an evil stepmother and their father too. What nasty in-laws! Of course they blast her on SM, entitled AH always do. It's always someone else's fault, of course. Good riddance
1st story - it's possible that the wife is asexual. You don't have to be completely sex-repulsed to be ace, and getting together and pregnant so young, I'm sure she hasn't had time to explore that in its entirety. That she's never really reacted to being hit on can also be an indicator. As someone who is ace and didn't understand that until I was around 25, I recognize myself in the wife a bit (though wasn't married and didn't have kids). I commend both the husband and wife for trying to explore every option. Despite their problems, the way OP presents it, they have a very healthy and mature relationship otherwise. Therapy for the win.
The first story is exhausting... I understand they have kids and jumping to divorce is not necessarily the solution, but their analytical approach is unsettling. When therapy doesn't help at all, you know one of them is not being honest and the real issue hasn't been tackled. So I doubt this lead to anything. She's humoring him with the sex again... The resentment is something I can't get over... I'm not what it means here in this situation. Nothing healthy for sure
i still think it's totally possible OP from the first story's wife is realizing she's asexual or possibly even aromantic. Asexuality means that a person doesn't experience sexual attraction, and aromantic means that the person doesn't feel romantic attraction. It's sort of the same as being born deaf, or lacking a sense/having a sense be muted, but instead of a sense it's the attraction drive, either for sex (asexual) or for romance (aromantic). It's sort of a disability in the societal sense- like, if you think of a disability as being defined by the societal model, where a person is disabled if their society doesn't accommodate them or makes accommodations hard to access, and would not be disabled anymore if nothing about them changed but the society suddenly changed to be super accessible to them. Our society is really really structured around romantic relationships. Like, even more than one might think; home ownership, taxes and finances, healthcare, access to community and interpersonal intimacy; all of that is kind of arbitrarily structured to make things more difficult for someone who doesn't have a significant other and isn't seeking one. ntm there's a huge stigma against people who don't want significant others in a sexual or romantic capacity. like, for women there's the stereotype of the crazy lonely old cat lady, and then for men it's seen as feminizing, like you're desperate or youre less of a man because you can't bag somebody. Asexuality/aromanticism doesn't _prevent_ you from having a romantic/sexual partner. But the fact that you're expected to have one, regardless of whether you want one or not, is kind of unfair, right? It should be possible in our society for a person who doesn't want a partner to live a fulfilling life without one. And if you do want a lifelong partner, there's really no reason why it can't be someone with whom your relationship is platonic, or romantic with no sex involved, or sexual with no romance involved, as long as you're happy together. I guess i'm biased because i myself am on the aromantic spectrum (and am still trying to figure it out for myself. like, i do experience romantic attraction, but way WAY less than the average person does). Ultimately i really want everything to work out for OP and his wife, because they seem like they really care about each other as people. but if it does turn out that she's ace, aro, or aroace, then i hope OP doesn't resent her for it, and tries to stay in her life, even if they divorce because their needs are too fundamentally different. I feel like separating because your needs in a partnership don't align is totally fair but i just hope they don't lose each other, yknow? I'm roothing for them
People underestimate the feeling of having your hair being played with, I have a sensitive scalp so any slight tug makes me tear up from the pain, but I wish I could have someone play with my hair, truely I do.
Story 2: You would say "Schlummer" with an U as in "You". The way you pronounced it sounded more like something that would translate to "Muddy Mom" :-D The commenter must be german.
S4 opening marriages to save them 😂😂😂😂 does really anyone believe this works? Just break up or divorce. At least be honest and don't lose time for nothing
It does happen. It's just rare enough that it might as well be a fantasy for most people that try. The issue is when it's stories like this, where it's not about the married couple's relationship, but one partner wants a free pass to cheat, but not be 'cheating'.
Rules regarding marriages: If it's closed at the beginning, it should remain closed. Open marriages only work when they're open from the get-go. If your partner randomly asks about opening the marriage, they already have someone in mind and want permission to cheat. You're better off divorcing because they're going to cheat anyways, and you have to decide if they're worth it (hint, they're usually not)
S5 oh come on, more happened here. The friend sounds extremely certain she can make him happier and all. They have discussed OP together and the husband definitely said things... That the ex didn't want to do things together with them is another red flag. OP is very blind if the ex saw something and she didn't. I doubt it stopped at a hug and there's a lot more to that. Counselling definitely... Hubby is not honest with her... Doesn't bode well for the future 😑
I think OP's wife might be Aro/Ace or be on the Aro/Ace spectrum, Also I feel that the part of him being cold and distant, was kinda weird??...in a way that it's really sad and feels kinda shitty, I hope that nothing happens, honestly y'know what- divorce might be the best thing to happen, bc he want intimacy and stuff like that and she doesn't- kinda sounds like he's forcing it upon her. But this is just me lol.
That's not financial abuse, that's a roommate agreement. Roommates go 50/50 on rent and expenses. But nah, call it financial abuse because he's agreeing to the relationship she wanted. Not his fault she expected to take advantage of his husbandly duties while fulfilling none of her wifely duties.
Honestly being friendzone is already ruff on its own, but being friendzoned by your significant other is pretty harsh, but if someone you married that’s just…Cruel.
[Edit] I’m glad OP and his wife relationship is getting better and focusing, on themselves for the betterment for each other and personally.
Tbh in 99%of the cases the friendzone isnt real. When a girls says "i just see you as a friend" it doesnt mean she doesn't want a relationship because you're friends. It means she doesn't find you romantically and/or physically interesting. Teenage dudes just take the wrong message from that
I have spent 6 years now in a "friendzone" with occasional signs of affection with if I am lucky a hug per week and a kiss every 6 months. Last time I had sex was over 6 years ago. I have stayed with my wife for my children but my my needs are ignored and at some point in time I will have to save myself.
OP should have divorced his wife the moment the word "platonic" came from her mouth.
She wanted a platonic relationship on his end only. She wouldn't have to do any wifely duties, but he would still 100% have to provide and protect her.
She revealed her hand.
“I don’t want his kids in my wedding” then you should marry someone else.
For the Juliana story, I wouldn't have told her what I was feeling, I would have told her, "Just tell him what you told us. He'll understand." Then, see what happens.
Now THAT’S the type of maliciousness I like to see.
The last story: The moment OP became an obstacle, there was no more love.
Normally the friend zone isn't real, if you're only friends with someone to sleep with them your not their friend. This story is an exception.
oh it’s real it’s just not what you were told
I honestly never wanted to be friends with any woman.. ever. And I am honest about that and up front with it though. I even told my wife early in our relationship that if I'm ever hanging out with some woman that's not you, I'm either cheating or trying to
@barfrodgers1202 honestly sad, bro.
@@NikolaitheBard lmao well whatever. I'm sure you know some 'really cool' women that you're totally not trying to fuck. I personally can't even stand having even a short conversation with most women
The ‘friend zone’ is totally real, but it’s not when two people become friends after one of them is attracted to the other and is rejected. It’s when one uses the other as a surrogate SO while keeping them interested and single for emotional gratification (attention, drama, support, etc, even money). When one party is pissed off that when the other gets an SO, that’s usually an obvious tell and a typical outcome of friend-zoning
I just love how he is stuck on the "Julianna" thing 😂
Narrator is going to have nightmares about Kendall and Juliana xD
I see them in my nightmares. And when I dream, they creep into the light as well.
@@ABadPasswordthis line goes so hard. you may be a bad password but you're a good poet
Not completely through the update but for story 1, it feels like OP's wife is an extrovert with a super small friend circle. To explain, introverts and extroverts are not recluses and social butterflies respectively, they just get social "charge" in different ways. Introverts will drain themselves if they have to interact with others for an extended period of time outside their comfort zone, while extroverts will thrive in similarly social settings. My advice would be to invest in hobbies, like watching sports, or doing family crafts, and find other friends with similar interests to be able to bond, and help the wife recharge her emotional batteries
I’m being so fr, how the hell do you go from “I love my partner :3” to; “I hold resentment for you and I want to be platonic friends”. Like what. The only way I can think of something like this that would make sense, is discovering you’re aromantic or something 🏃🏻♀️💨
Depression can remove attraction.
@@Avrysatos Along with pretty much everything else that's normally enjoyable about life. Kudos for OP for trying to stick through and help them try to reconnect rather than noping out immediately though
For me it happened almost two years into dating when while driving she did a punishment pass to a cyclist, immediately lost all romantic interest and became disgusted by her touch. It was such a blatent display of how little she either thought about her actions or of other people, either way it was one of the biggest turn offs I've ever witnessed. Desire for her never returned and we're just part of the same friend group now.
@tengonadacluewhatsgutsprec1419 what is a punishment pass?
@@NikolaitheBardcyclist here. Its when an automobile drives really close up on you (side by side) and rev their engine, typically to scare or force you off the road. Its a dangerous and mean-spirited way to tell cyclists (bicycles, motorcycles, scooters/mopeds) that "we don't being on the road'. It has led to many cyclists being scared, hurt and in some instances killed
Whoever picked the gameplay for the background, A+ choice. Firewatch is a really good game with amazing graphics and an emotional story.
I love Story 2, omg, I hope she and her friend's mom remain close, and hopefully her mom can grow to be accepting of her daughter's hair. It means a lot to her.
tbh in the first story it sounds like they were codepant on eachother and didn't have many around them outside of the relationship, which also then makes sense why their swinger situation made the relationship better for a while because they pretty much were around others as well. being constantly with just 1 person and isolating from other types of relationship isn't good. doing that 180 methood was good, because it gave both of them needed space to breath and not be so stuck to each others side. probably also might be that she felt smuttered, cuz from the 180 approach and her upset, it does sound like he might have been unintentionally love bombing. so I am genuinly super happy for OP and his wife
OMG S3 like seriously... OP is a hero she saved those kids from an evil stepmother and their father too. What nasty in-laws! Of course they blast her on SM, entitled AH always do. It's always someone else's fault, of course. Good riddance
Omg story 1, i get relationships change, but good god the wife is exhausting. Like you're not gonna get anywhere if you cant open up properly
Says "dont be dramatic and think about our marriage." At same time states open up marriage so she can cheat or marriage is over......
1st story - it's possible that the wife is asexual. You don't have to be completely sex-repulsed to be ace, and getting together and pregnant so young, I'm sure she hasn't had time to explore that in its entirety. That she's never really reacted to being hit on can also be an indicator. As someone who is ace and didn't understand that until I was around 25, I recognize myself in the wife a bit (though wasn't married and didn't have kids).
I commend both the husband and wife for trying to explore every option. Despite their problems, the way OP presents it, they have a very healthy and mature relationship otherwise. Therapy for the win.
first story... i wonder if the wife might be ace aro and realising it
I remembered this post. And ao many people tried to paint OP in story 1 as an abuser
Imagine my shock when OP's post history gets discovered. No wonder there's no pair bonding. They aren't really a pair.
Huge pop for the Dom and Rhea reference.
The first story is exhausting... I understand they have kids and jumping to divorce is not necessarily the solution, but their analytical approach is unsettling. When therapy doesn't help at all, you know one of them is not being honest and the real issue hasn't been tackled. So I doubt this lead to anything. She's humoring him with the sex again... The resentment is something I can't get over... I'm not what it means here in this situation. Nothing healthy for sure
i still think it's totally possible OP from the first story's wife is realizing she's asexual or possibly even aromantic. Asexuality means that a person doesn't experience sexual attraction, and aromantic means that the person doesn't feel romantic attraction. It's sort of the same as being born deaf, or lacking a sense/having a sense be muted, but instead of a sense it's the attraction drive, either for sex (asexual) or for romance (aromantic).
It's sort of a disability in the societal sense- like, if you think of a disability as being defined by the societal model, where a person is disabled if their society doesn't accommodate them or makes accommodations hard to access, and would not be disabled anymore if nothing about them changed but the society suddenly changed to be super accessible to them. Our society is really really structured around romantic relationships. Like, even more than one might think; home ownership, taxes and finances, healthcare, access to community and interpersonal intimacy; all of that is kind of arbitrarily structured to make things more difficult for someone who doesn't have a significant other and isn't seeking one. ntm there's a huge stigma against people who don't want significant others in a sexual or romantic capacity. like, for women there's the stereotype of the crazy lonely old cat lady, and then for men it's seen as feminizing, like you're desperate or youre less of a man because you can't bag somebody.
Asexuality/aromanticism doesn't _prevent_ you from having a romantic/sexual partner. But the fact that you're expected to have one, regardless of whether you want one or not, is kind of unfair, right? It should be possible in our society for a person who doesn't want a partner to live a fulfilling life without one. And if you do want a lifelong partner, there's really no reason why it can't be someone with whom your relationship is platonic, or romantic with no sex involved, or sexual with no romance involved, as long as you're happy together. I guess i'm biased because i myself am on the aromantic spectrum (and am still trying to figure it out for myself. like, i do experience romantic attraction, but way WAY less than the average person does).
Ultimately i really want everything to work out for OP and his wife, because they seem like they really care about each other as people. but if it does turn out that she's ace, aro, or aroace, then i hope OP doesn't resent her for it, and tries to stay in her life, even if they divorce because their needs are too fundamentally different. I feel like separating because your needs in a partnership don't align is totally fair but i just hope they don't lose each other, yknow? I'm roothing for them
People underestimate the feeling of having your hair being played with, I have a sensitive scalp so any slight tug makes me tear up from the pain, but I wish I could have someone play with my hair, truely I do.
Story 2: You would say "Schlummer" with an U as in "You". The way you pronounced it sounded more like something that would translate to "Muddy Mom" :-D
The commenter must be german.
I had to do a double take, because I thought it was "slummer" for a brief moment, and that would have been an odd change to the story XD
S4 opening marriages to save them 😂😂😂😂 does really anyone believe this works? Just break up or divorce. At least be honest and don't lose time for nothing
It does happen. It's just rare enough that it might as well be a fantasy for most people that try. The issue is when it's stories like this, where it's not about the married couple's relationship, but one partner wants a free pass to cheat, but not be 'cheating'.
"I told her 'My love for her is ticking clock BERSERKER!'"
If you friendzone me, i treat you and access to my wallet and time just as i would treat a friend, until im out of the deal a week later.
Both my exes friendzoned me quickly. Unfortunately, they made certain I couldn't leave first, including threats.
Hey again Kevin! Hope your day’s goin good.
Rules regarding marriages:
If it's closed at the beginning, it should remain closed. Open marriages only work when they're open from the get-go.
If your partner randomly asks about opening the marriage, they already have someone in mind and want permission to cheat. You're better off divorcing because they're going to cheat anyways, and you have to decide if they're worth it (hint, they're usually not)
S5 oh come on, more happened here. The friend sounds extremely certain she can make him happier and all. They have discussed OP together and the husband definitely said things... That the ex didn't want to do things together with them is another red flag. OP is very blind if the ex saw something and she didn't. I doubt it stopped at a hug and there's a lot more to that. Counselling definitely... Hubby is not honest with her... Doesn't bode well for the future 😑
Then that’s not your wife.
Get a divorce this marriage is over..
Thank you!
Smash the like all! 👍
I got the reference.
43:07 not the WWE referee
I think OP's wife might be Aro/Ace or be on the Aro/Ace spectrum, Also I feel that the part of him being cold and distant, was kinda weird??...in a way that it's really sad and feels kinda shitty, I hope that nothing happens, honestly y'know what- divorce might be the best thing to happen, bc he want intimacy and stuff like that and she doesn't- kinda sounds like he's forcing it upon her. But this is just me lol.
43:18 it was a cat, not a dog
ISKREM🍦 ISKREM🍦 ISKREM🍦
damn I wanna marrying but I also just wanna be your friend
43:40 Hello, Mr. Next Story! :D
❤
Back ground game name?
Edit:thanks
I think it's Firewatch
Firewatch, if I'm not mistaken
Can confirm Firewatch. Lovely game, beautiful graphics, an emotional story. This is a game that should be be played at least once.
i was the 261th liker
Op: I’m not financially abusing her.
Op:I make literally 3x as much as her. 50-50 is 50-50
That's not financial abuse, that's a roommate agreement. Roommates go 50/50 on rent and expenses. But nah, call it financial abuse because he's agreeing to the relationship she wanted. Not his fault she expected to take advantage of his husbandly duties while fulfilling none of her wifely duties.
Exactly, she was literally asking for this
There is no way you think thats financial abuse.
Responsibility from consequences is not financial abuse. Making a roommate pay their fair share is exactly the responsibility of her decisions.
Ya get what ya ask for, boo hoo