Ey true this story is weird. But did she not say she was 19. Her boyfriend married someone else and she said it didn't phase her at all. I'm wondering if she is okay but I don't want to sound offensive.
Proof to show that age doesn't necessarily come with wisdom. The delusion!!! Young girls, don't take her stance PLEASE!!!! It's her story, we're clapping for her. I was in a similar situation. He got married and I left, 12 years later, he's still tryana make me a side chick to the woman he cheated on me with and then married! My answer is still " go to the nearest hell, there's a special place for you there". Girls, don't do it. Point, blank and the period
If they met ko skolong, she is now 48 and they been together for 23 years, that means she was 48-23=25years🤔🤔. Waitse ke eng, I don't know the colour of tomorrow😮😮
Fascinating discussions! I don't sit in judgement of others, rather I always try and understand what drives people to do certain things and behave in a certain manner. This way I learn and grow and I'm the better for for it. Great shows all-round!!!
As a younger generation. Let's teach our kids self love. i would never put myself through a situation with a man who doesn't know what he wants. Its the delulu ke sana😂😂😂😂
The fact that she is an orphan I feel like the old man took advantage of this beautiful faithful women, not having her parents to fight for her, that family would have treated you better , I feel your pain, you actually went through a lot, but is so grate that you healed and able to talk about your life story, so powerful, God bless you and more Grace
I think she fell in love with the fatherly love she never got to fully experience since she lost her parents. The feeling of being taken care of and "loved" by a male figure.
See how his position in his family and society was protected and prioritised over hers? Our daughters must really understand that they have the right to dream and harbour ambition. That they have meaningful space in the family and community. That in itself is sacred.
I dont blame this lady at all. The man is all she has known all her life. Her first love and apparently the man lived her genuinely. Her late ness in getting a baby complucated things cos being African children were and still are important. I am married but I can still sort if understand her. Shes a bit of a free spirit though and she likes it. Happy ending? Life is a total mystery. Theres no loser here.
This goes to show that even if a man marries you, it does not necessarily mean that he loves you. His heart might be with someone else. There's a saying that most men wish they were with a woman they met once in their lifetime. Pray before you get married and ask God to reveal things that are hidden. Getting married doesn't mean that you won. Promise, being married doesn't mean that you won. A man is not a prize. I hope Promise learned something here...coz she puts her marriage on a pedestal.
Yoh hleng Promise.... Yah neh Mosadi, I vote for you to be President for Women.... You manage to get to the bottom of things and ask provocative questions... Love you mosadi for this kind of content.... This story is so amazing hleng and interesting....
My aunt was a sidechick for over 30 years and had 3 kids with the man. The wife died ,and he married her, but the guy died about 5 years after that, so it's a possibility.
People need to understand this lady was groomed from a young age, then the man chose to marry someone else cause she couldn't convince. I don't think she would have wanted to start another relationship if she felt she's "not woman enough" to bare kids anyway.
This hurts me to the core,my friend's marriage was destroyed by the side chick , she was his first girlfriend but never married her even after the divorce. Men are wicked and will make you believe in something that is not even there.That man doesn't love her but feeding to his man ego😢
@@Meandyouisnusmy sister men love...my dad met my mom 55 years ago. My dad gave her a job as his secretary the same day.. ...I was born and they been married 55 years and still together. Men love and love has no formula....it's luck and God.
No man cld manipulate me that long once he marry the next lady that wld be my quit and value myself.the man only use her sex object I don't know how she's smiling in such trauma.wheres u common sense .I'd be so ashamed.
Jesu, leba kwano😲😲Is this really, a true real life story? The things women put up with, just to be in relationships are super hectic😓😱😱This is hectic, Were there no other men in Bushbuckridge to rescue her bathong?
I'm 10 min already in this video and I already bored by the excuses that this Lady is giving for her Sugar Daddy not to have married her. I mean when a person wants to marry you they do, he just felt comfortable with having a side chick and that's all you are to him. He could have made her his second wife, he still could he just doesn't want to.
@@_theerealnono_7694 Tell me about it. All dz things they not new they been happening but because the moral standard was high they were hidden so u would do wrong and hv shame
I admire the fact that she has been with this one man, for her adult life, she is very patient. I wish her all the best. O hope she will make Jesus the center of her life. God bless
Having listened to the whole story, it is not that of a bad story and an arrangement. Lets admit she learnt things and made an informed decision. She also valued her independence.
But some of us we know women who've been side chick for years some have 2-3 kids. And they ok with it, sidechick from that age group didn't mind. Only sidechicks of today attack the wives for no reason.
Others are here judging her yet they are in marriages for the wrong reasons. With her it was pure love with no intentions to suck in good times and exit in bad times. Yet she is ready to settle when the fame of the old man is gone. That's true love against all odds. Judge her all you want but sge spoke her truth unloke those who are married to prove a point. Others treat marriage as validation of some sort forgetting that its love then marriage but today we see people go marry people for what they have...money then marriage. She is how love should be and she never gave up. She also spoke about choosing not to get married after she was ridiculed because she wasn't going to have kids this story is one of the kind. Third time around she is ready....Love wins not materialistic marriages that we now see.
Saying my man I cringed 😬. But with that being said can we all understand what childhood trauma does to the brain even in adulthood (she grew up as an orphan). Childhood trauma can profoundly influence the choices we make in life, she does not see herself as worthy of having her own husband, she did not address the effects of her trauma and heal and now she’s bleeding on this marriage it’s said Someone on the comments said the “delusion” she’s right
You are right. Orphans usually get hand me downs. So she has that spirit of fear of not having and would rather have second best. Her childhood may be so traumatic
Everyone must understand that not everyone wants to get married. She made her choices and she's happy about it, so who are you to judge. I salute her for standing by her truth.
People who don't want to get married don't want to experience the pain that they cause to married women. Calling out rubbish is not judging, it's challenging the wrong doer to take accountability of their actions and not delight in hurting others. Singaphela ngabo don't judge while things get ruined.
@@busiluthando451 she may be living HER truth like you say, but in the long run, this truth is going to cost her dearly. There are things in life that are FORBIDDEN,and one of those things is to get involved with a married person.
@tsholofelomocumi4207 Exactly, we live in times where doing the wrong things are considered right, and doing the right thing like calling out a person for their destructive behavior is considered wrong.
I don't understand this level of Love these ladies has for this Man. Yhu, Ha A! There's no way I can be in their position, I don't have that kind of love. I hope Joy & her son are listed as beneficiaries. Because it would be tragic for this Man to die & Joy is stripped of everything.
"Member of ANC"😢 That said it all. Imbalance of power was at a center stage here. Since she was the younger one she took the short end of the stick. Young girls aren't suppose to be with old men. This age is just a number is never beneficial to women.
Married men usually lie a lot so u can't take his word that he is discussing or doing anything that he says. The fact that his wife took care of child actually makes him love his wife more. This man has the best of both worlds. She must have low self esteem to settle for such a long time.
Yaa that might be the case. Maybe he was the one who want to marry someone with a kid ..how come it was easy like that after a baby even the family just like that. ...
And they can also leave whenever they want. He gets everything he wants from her without her requiring much, that’s why he is wasting her time for 23 years. Nothing will stop a man to be with the woman he wants to be, not even his wife and kids.
@@zukhanyefunani4973 Many men marry women they do not love for societal status, family pressure or simply their own selfish reasons. Women! we have to stop thinking marriage is a price, the "He chose me" attitude hence I'm special. Married women who care have been warning us for years. What do we say? They are jealous! Oh no just because it happend to her does n't mean it's gonna happen to me. When are we ever going to learn? When are we going to stop teaching our daughters nonsense? We setting them up to fail. One day I asked a few young boys what they want to be when they become older. You know what they say? They want to be Elon Must. Elon Must is a filthy rich billionare who is also a divorcee with many children. I asked them about marriage, they don't want to get married. It did not start with these young boys. It just saddened me that there are THERE ARE MOTHERS WHO ARE BUSY TEACHING THEIR DAUGHTERS ABOUT WINNING A MAN's heart. We are bringing agony to our own selves by forcing being special, and sadly the younger generation of women.These men are calculating and we are busy with being naive. I believe this woman, this man married the other woman for family not for love. He managed to preserve his bloodline and keep the woman of his dreams at the same time. African families are mostly about preserving the family and bloodline, if that is at risk, to hell with love or anything, bloodline first.
This woman was a main chick turned side chick. She didn’t start as a side. This was full relationship and there was genuine love, if they hadn’t been told they couldn’t have kids she could’ve been the wife
I think this lady loved and respected uMamkhulu(1st wife) inside of her mind lives a child shame kodwa in reality she’s just old wethu. Makayeke udika😄😄
WHAT A STORY!! Claps a lot 👏🏽 . Life is not lived in a straight line. This woman is brave to have left her son in a dangerous situation that left people injured.
This lady was groomed by that man and she is in his mental prison hence "dilulu" is all over her psychologically. What a sad life, I feel sorry because she has never lived a full life of honour as a woman
I don't think she should be seen as a side chick. It devalues her integrity. She, for all purposes and intent, the man's wife. It's just that things did not unfold as per expectations. She has taken her own particular way in love life, a respectable way I must add. I respect her immensely.
This lady is delulu I swear🤞 Mrs Law's laugh proves the point 😂😂. Gogo "Mamkhulu" is very old and very proud to be on tick tok bashing women who choose marriage.
Had it not been the family refusing her from marrying, she would have been a wife with that one son, who knows she would have been blessed their blocked that for a older woman The way things carried on she was meant to be in this family
My heart broke for her when she said she did not have enough time to prove herself💔 To have developed such an impression of yourself at such a young age.
😂😂wow South Africa is a movie Yoo-hoo. She was suppose to say when a man doesn’t want to marry you he won’t marry you when advising us. But team home wrecker nje side chick wife mamakhulu 😮
This man did’nt really want to marry her at all,even after having a child with her he still did’nt make her a second wife,he is just a Peado who took advantage of a young girl but in her adulhood I blame her for staying and not ending this relationship.
@@antonattachihombori9561 So she says,mdala is not there to confirm that statement,also why would he marrying her has to come with conditions of whether she is woman enough to bear children or not?
I know of a few aunties who have been sidekicks to well known, wealthy SA men. They are never in the public eye, but have good access to " spousal benefits"
The wife calls her Mamkhulu 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 The wife is secretly winning 😅 she’ll keep calling the Delulu one Mamkhulu but on paper she is the one who has all the wife benefits 😭God forbid the man dies
Nope. My grandmother almost fainted coz all her life she thought she'd get everything coz she's the wife. If a woman makes a man pay child support nothing is released until all the kids he's paying for are present and everything is shared equally. They can even claim the house you live in if your husband owned it or you're married in community of property.
@@mamellomosase9448that is not true. According to the law, in community of property, the wife always gets 50% of all assets in case of divorce, and 100% in the case of death unless otherwise stated in a will. Your grandmother most likely never registered her marriage. And why would a wife have her husband pay child support in the 1st place?
@@mamellomosase9448yes, people need to check the law before making comments on benefits of wives vs sidechicks..the law is just in this area and the husband can always nominate the side to inherit, the family and wife will have no say, the law will prevail qha!
A 48yr old would have not done “form3” at that time it was “standard” but this lady seriously has something to do with the Illness of other ladies. Also this relationship traumatised her she’s not make sure
To the people that are condemning her, was she supposed to just fall behind whereas she was there first, she never took anyobody's husband, she just continued living her life and I commend her for it!
The man never had good intentions for her and he saw the desperation in her. Met you before her, but you have now graduated from side chick to side hen over the years😮😮😅😅
The thing is the guy was wellknown and providing, if it was not this could never happened not forgetting their traditions .(sidechick not good for our children).
She was taken advantage of by an older man,groomed her as well.
Dude her whole life has been on hold for this man😮
@@kwetsephetla3597 yes, this is like the SA former press
Mdala
@@yangankenkana5034 Yes, with LaC...
Ey true this story is weird. But did she not say she was 19. Her boyfriend married someone else and she said it didn't phase her at all. I'm wondering if she is okay but I don't want to sound offensive.
The day this man passes on, Joy will then understand the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.
Thank you
She seems to be working and creating her own money mos. What will make her cry? When she has her own things ?
😂😂😂
Eish 😢
@asandamthembu6275 you clearly don't know anything
God tried saving this woman in the first 3 years by not allowinh her to fall pregnant and yet even after he married someone else she stayed.
Proof to show that age doesn't necessarily come with wisdom. The delusion!!! Young girls, don't take her stance PLEASE!!!! It's her story, we're clapping for her. I was in a similar situation. He got married and I left, 12 years later, he's still tryana make me a side chick to the woman he cheated on me with and then married! My answer is still " go to the nearest hell, there's a special place for you there". Girls, don't do it. Point, blank and the period
✅💯
He is building his family with the wife, as a side chick, when do you get to do that ? Man will always put themselves first shame
Not all women want to get married.
@antonattachihombori9561 so because you don't want to get marry, you choose to be the side? Make that make sense
@@mahlatse8605 good question
That man never intended on marrying her. When men want to marry, they do it. Family can’t even stop them.
Danko
Whether u can or cannot have kids
@@triciakekanaexactly!
This woman is actually so smart yoh. You can tell by how she speaks.. shes aware of everything
Love her, her honesty. She's not sugar coating the truth.
🎉
If they met ko skolong, she is now 48 and they been together for 23 years, that means she was 48-23=25years🤔🤔. Waitse ke eng, I don't know the colour of tomorrow😮😮
Also 23 years ago there was neither Form 3, nor standard 8 but GRADE 8.
Phela year 2000 was 23 years ago, so😂😂
LIES LIES LIES
@@AyandaNofumba bahahah 🤣🤣🤣
The lies are too much shem mmè oo thinks we're stupid. This actually makes her credibility and the whole story questionable.
@@RayOfLetsatsiher wanting to now get married to an old man is suspicious 😂😂. I never scrutinise things, mara haai!! Dilo ga di kopane.
“Oh, lies, lies, lies and everywhere it’s lies”
Whatever happens in my life, may I never meet a man like this 🫠🫠
It very easy yazi ,add it on your prayer item. ....
@@yangankenkana5034 You are right sis. I need to pray that spirit away from ever reaching me.
😂😂and they are many like that
You can simply run away
This is why I'm even scared to get married, Men are confused shme
Fascinating discussions! I don't sit in judgement of others, rather I always try and understand what drives people to do certain things and behave in a certain manner. This way I learn and grow and I'm the better for for it. Great shows all-round!!!
Very interesting. Very humble if all the side chicks had this mindset I would be happy for my husband.
Her life is as confused like the red hair and purple lipstick 😂😂😂
As a younger generation. Let's teach our kids self love. i would never put myself through a situation with a man who doesn't know what he wants. Its the delulu ke sana😂😂😂😂
He knows what he wants. He wanted her as a side chick.
😂😂😂😂😂
Mam Joy is the girl she thinks she is❤️ She chose well for herself and she is a smart lady. O phela bophelo ba gage man.👌
yah I think so too
The fact that she is an orphan I feel like the old man took advantage of this beautiful faithful women, not having her parents to fight for her, that family would have treated you better , I feel your pain, you actually went through a lot, but is so grate that you healed and able to talk about your life story, so powerful, God bless you and more Grace
Being an orphan doesn’t mean you become a side chick of a married man
@@kettykembabazi you are right but people are vulnerable, and can be manipulated. you dont have a sense of belonging
I think she fell in love with the fatherly love she never got to fully experience since she lost her parents. The feeling of being taken care of and "loved" by a male figure.
See how his position in his family and society was protected and prioritised over hers? Our daughters must really understand that they have the right to dream and harbour ambition. That they have meaningful space in the family and community. That in itself is sacred.
❤❤❤
❤❤ That's so true.I'm saving these words for my daughter 4 when she's older.
She lost me at Grade 10 and member of the ANC… The ANC never loved SA 🤞🏾
Hai mun 😂😂😂😂😂
I’m screaming 😭😭😭
This kills me😂😂😂😂😂
True
😂😂😂
I dont blame this lady at all. The man is all she has known all her life. Her first love and apparently the man lived her genuinely. Her late ness in getting a baby complucated things cos being African children were and still are important. I am married but I can still sort if understand her. Shes a bit of a free spirit though and she likes it. Happy ending? Life is a total mystery. Theres no loser here.
This goes to show that even if a man marries you, it does not necessarily mean that he loves you. His heart might be with someone else. There's a saying that most men wish they were with a woman they met once in their lifetime. Pray before you get married and ask God to reveal things that are hidden. Getting married doesn't mean that you won. Promise, being married doesn't mean that you won. A man is not a prize. I hope Promise learned something here...coz she puts her marriage on a pedestal.
There's nothing wrong with Promise putting her marriage on the pedestal ma'am. If u inlove and married be happy, put it out there. If it ends it ends.
U sound very bitter, then why doesn't the man wants to marry u if he loves u so much, ur delusional shame 😅
❤
Madala really is a politician,
I disagree getting married does mean victory
Yoh hleng Promise.... Yah neh Mosadi, I vote for you to be President for Women.... You manage to get to the bottom of things and ask provocative questions... Love you mosadi for this kind of content.... This story is so amazing hleng and interesting....
I love her so much
Who also think that she low-key waited for their marriage to fail so that she can be the wife?
Or the wife to die!
Imagine giving away 30 years of your life waiting to nurse an old man one day.... There are levels of common sense.
She will never be the wife
He will go and marry someone else once again 😂
She will never be his wife.
My aunt was a sidechick for over 30 years and had 3 kids with the man. The wife died ,and he married her, but the guy died about 5 years after that, so it's a possibility.
Shes emotionally stuck at whatever year she experienced trauma. This is sad nje more than anything
Exactly 😢
Very sad😢
People need to understand this lady was groomed from a young age, then the man chose to marry someone else cause she couldn't convince. I don't think she would have wanted to start another relationship if she felt she's "not woman enough" to bare kids anyway.
But still, continuing with a man who left her to marry another woman doesn't help her. But I get it, she was groomed
Agreed. The guy exhibited predatory behaviour from the jump!
But she is a grown woman now.
@@Unlockheavens I agree my love, but years and years of abuse any form of abuse the victims start thinking its normal.
@@ayandasam2269 at 48 she has no excuse I swear,a man doesn't want her but she is trying to prove a point....I feel like it's daddy issues.
This hurts me to the core,my friend's marriage was destroyed by the side chick , she was his first girlfriend but never married her even after the divorce. Men are wicked and will make you believe in something that is not even there.That man doesn't love her but feeding to his man ego😢
He does not love the wife either.
Since when do men love anyone but themselves. So the tell you that they love you and you believe them🤣🤣🤣
He loves her ..the child issue.
@@Meandyouisnusmy sister men love...my dad met my mom 55 years ago. My dad gave her a job as his secretary the same day.. ...I was born and they been married 55 years and still together. Men love and love has no formula....it's luck and God.
No man cld manipulate me that long once he marry the next lady that wld be my quit and value myself.the man only use her sex object I don't know how she's smiling in such trauma.wheres u common sense .I'd be so ashamed.
when a man wants to marry, nothing can ever stop him, you're just delusional
And in denial.
I agree 100%
Except a woman turning him down lol
@@nolubynature9513hape they’re looking past that 😭.
💯 he would have married her if he loved her that much.
Sana, I so wish she could free herself and go look for real love. She’s not that old yet.
But she is convinced 🤣
Promise you look amazing and your outfit is on point!
Jesu, leba kwano😲😲Is this really, a true real life story? The things women put up with, just to be in relationships are super hectic😓😱😱This is hectic, Were there no other men in Bushbuckridge to rescue her bathong?
This lady needs therapy, there’s grooming, anger, poverty, post parturm depression, grief, loss and denial.
Kuningi for sure
It's a lot
Yho Girl, she really needs therapy.
"" Boom, wow, 10 past 4."" .haec🙄
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Decenter men. Focus on yourself and live your best life. ❤
This lady looks decent, but her thinking capacity is very disappointing
I agree with you
My thoughts exactly, and reasoning is just off🤔
Gullible 😅
Delulu is the solulu
Judging by the way she's blushing, she's giving obsessed with a man that never truly never loved her.
Sad hey
Who did he love sis?
@@sherrolmtshamba5545 he loved himself no one else
I'm 10 min already in this video and I already bored by the excuses that this Lady is giving for her Sugar Daddy not to have married her. I mean when a person wants to marry you they do, he just felt comfortable with having a side chick and that's all you are to him. He could have made her his second wife, he still could he just doesn't want to.
Sad old woman, fell for a childish and irresponsible man. This is a mess, I’m 29 and I see how childish and disgusting this situation is.
😂
Grown to learn marriage is doesn't prove love😏How ironic😂😂😂Sadly she might be the happiest human alive just saying🤷🏾
That fact that she's is the one that the man married it doesn't mean she was loved.
Nah Thenji, don't judge. Marriage is not everything. And it doesn't define love. She is probably happier than most married women.
48 isn't old age, you ageist Trolls 🚮
A dash of embarrassment could hv saved her from wasting her life more even being public about it.
Dude. A dash of embarrassment is very important.
Sisi you are here😂😂😂
@@queenrammym yes 😂
That's what the world is missing now, shame. No shame at all.
@@_theerealnono_7694 Tell me about it. All dz things they not new they been happening but because the moral standard was high they were hidden so u would do wrong and hv shame
I admire the fact that she has been with this one man, for her adult life, she is very patient. I wish her all the best. O hope she will make Jesus the center of her life. God bless
Uhmm the way she speaks about this khehla. Now I'm dying to know who he is. Just to put a face to the story🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Some ANC dude probably gwede
Mentally/emotionally she's talking like a child not a grown woman.
That is my observation as well..
It’s true. She is almost 50 years old but not yet mature.
Dude ngathi shes a teenager who just started dating. Boma 16year old vibes 😢
Jonga, 16 year olds these days are very mature than this mama ryt here!
I will never forgive myself for listening to this....
😂😂😂
😂
😂😂
😂😂😂
Me too yooo Mihlolo may God protect and help us
Self love is important guys..🌸🌼🌺
Very imperative
The comment I was looking for ❤
Unfortunately some ppl don’t know how to love themselves. I teach many ppl self love everyday. It’s sad to see sis.
Very important😢
I love this lady, she seems not malicious its just that life is complicated..
She is wise, give men freedom, and let them come because they want to. Live your love
Having listened to the whole story, it is not that of a bad story and an arrangement. Lets admit she learnt things and made an informed decision. She also valued her independence.
Yes she does
But some of us we know women who've been side chick for years some have 2-3 kids. And they ok with it, sidechick from that age group didn't mind. Only sidechicks of today attack the wives for no reason.
So true, Yaz I am coming from that family, nothing new and our parent were hurting but definitely not like us. There were bit stronger than us.
Others are here judging her yet they are in marriages for the wrong reasons. With her it was pure love with no intentions to suck in good times and exit in bad times. Yet she is ready to settle when the fame of the old man is gone. That's true love against all odds. Judge her all you want but sge spoke her truth unloke those who are married to prove a point. Others treat marriage as validation of some sort forgetting that its love then marriage but today we see people go marry people for what they have...money then marriage.
She is how love should be and she never gave up. She also spoke about choosing not to get married after she was ridiculed because she wasn't going to have kids this story is one of the kind. Third time around she is ready....Love wins not materialistic marriages that we now see.
Just imagine this being your mother on social media telling people she’s a proud sidekick 😢
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Ma'am at her big big age for that matter
Sad
Embarrassing 😢
Nka lla gore😂😂😭😭
Saying my man I cringed 😬. But with that being said can we all understand what childhood trauma does to the brain even in adulthood (she grew up as an orphan). Childhood trauma can profoundly influence the choices we make in life, she does not see herself as worthy of having her own husband, she did not address the effects of her trauma and heal and now she’s bleeding on this marriage it’s said Someone on the comments said the “delusion” she’s right
You are right. Orphans usually get hand me downs. So she has that spirit of fear of not having and would rather have second best. Her childhood may be so traumatic
Everyone must understand that not everyone wants to get married. She made her choices and she's happy about it, so who are you to judge. I salute her for standing by her truth.
Exactly
People who don't want to get married don't want to experience the pain that they cause to married women.
Calling out rubbish is not judging, it's challenging the wrong doer to take accountability of their actions and not delight in hurting others.
Singaphela ngabo don't judge while things get ruined.
@@zintlenjoli2981 thats your opinion but nothing is going to change about her situation. She's still living her truth whether we agree with it or not.
@@busiluthando451 she may be living HER truth like you say, but in the long run, this truth is going to cost her dearly. There are things in life that are FORBIDDEN,and one of those things is to get involved with a married person.
@tsholofelomocumi4207 Exactly, we live in times where doing the wrong things are considered right, and doing the right thing like calling out a person for their destructive behavior is considered wrong.
I don't understand this level of Love these ladies has for this Man. Yhu, Ha A! There's no way I can be in their position, I don't have that kind of love. I hope Joy & her son are listed as beneficiaries. Because it would be tragic for this Man to die & Joy is stripped of everything.
Mdala wa loya maan😅
Money and status skat
Not everything is about money hle
"Member of ANC"😢 That said it all. Imbalance of power was at a center stage here. Since she was the younger one she took the short end of the stick. Young girls aren't suppose to be with old men. This age is just a number is never beneficial to women.
Some level of self love, self respect is necessary
There’s a lot I want to say, but I don’t want to be judgemental. The only person who knows if it’s really love or not is the man himself.
Having an opinion is NOT judgmental. People don't understand what the word means.
23 years as a sidechick and shes proud of it wow....Talk about Shallowness
That was her choice
I love this story.... i like how my sister took it and how she treated it
Owning her truth!! I love it for her😍And Promise mastering the interview, asking relevant questions as always 🎊❤️
Either she is lying or they dealt with her traditionally very early
Chemi
Getting out of Bush helped weaken whatever they used on her not to conceive all that time
They way the have access and control of her baby from day 1 even now shame
Uloyiwe loMama 🙆🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Looks like that coz ahe keeps emphasizing that they love each other deeply
its giving dilulu 😭😭😭 therapy therapy therapy!!!!
This is an excellent show. Very unique for women to speak on these types of relationships. Very interesting and educational.
Some like this one, are defeated relationships !!!!
I think people commented before watching the whole interview.
She won in everything.Gave birth to the heir , is loved by her man.Got her things right.
She has no security. What happens the day this man dies?
@@thatothobejane4674 she can actually claim from his pension fund.
Ai suka bra, this is just trash ayikho indaba yalomama plain and simple.
Married men usually lie a lot so u can't take his word that he is discussing or doing anything that he says. The fact that his wife took care of child actually makes him love his wife more. This man has the best of both worlds. She must have low self esteem to settle for such a long time.
This woman is real... tells it as it is. She knows what she wants and did not let anyone or anything control her.
What she wanted was marriage. He did not marry her yet she still stayed. How is this not being controlled?
She is the wife. If the mother was not controlling, the guy would have made his own decisions
1st wife witchcraft 😂😂😂
@@Rohoboth exactly
A bit on the side is a condiment.
A wife is the meal.
You can discard the condiment, but not the meal.
I understand her case she didn’t date a already married man she was not the chosen one
Whenever I'm free,i watch your content as it deals with real issues and may you grow and have bigger stage where you have live audience 🙏❤
Girls as long as we are still emotional about these issues...we are not winning....we must be sober ( logic)
And let's stop the judgment as well.
You are very wise my dear
You are right,truth is this woman is not a side chic she's a wife,it's actually a family only that she's not legally married,
One thing about this man is that he plays the woman in the name of the family
Yaa that might be the case. Maybe he was the one who want to marry someone with a kid ..how come it was easy like that after a baby even the family just like that. ...
I can't believe how naive our sisters are. No self love. That husband is so selfish
Even the wives staying in such situations have no self love whatsoever it’s the empty validation that all women ( wives sidechicks etc) get from men.
I feel like even this man doesn't have selfove shame if he is able to put himself through this then he also need help
ANC men😅😅
Thanks to isithembu for giving Joy the strength and wisdom to make meaningful decisions.
Only those who have experienced similar issues understand this. A man can marry someone they do not love due to other reasons
What reasons are those? I’m crurious
And they can also leave whenever they want. He gets everything he wants from her without her requiring much, that’s why he is wasting her time for 23 years. Nothing will stop a man to be with the woman he wants to be, not even his wife and kids.
Selflessness emadodeni😢
@@zukhanyefunani4973 Many men marry women they do not love for societal status, family pressure or simply their own selfish reasons. Women! we have to stop thinking marriage is a price, the "He chose me" attitude hence I'm special. Married women who care have been warning us for years. What do we say? They are jealous! Oh no just because it happend to her does n't mean it's gonna happen to me. When are we ever going to learn?
When are we going to stop teaching our daughters nonsense? We setting them up to fail. One day I asked a few young boys what they want to be when they become older. You know what they say? They want to be Elon Must. Elon Must is a filthy rich billionare who is also a divorcee with many children. I asked them about marriage, they don't want to get married. It did not start with these young boys. It just saddened me that there are THERE ARE MOTHERS WHO ARE BUSY TEACHING THEIR DAUGHTERS ABOUT WINNING A MAN's heart.
We are bringing agony to our own selves by forcing being special, and sadly the younger generation of women.These men are calculating and we are busy with being naive. I believe this woman, this man married the other woman for family not for love. He managed to preserve his bloodline and keep the woman of his dreams at the same time.
African families are mostly about preserving the family and bloodline, if that is at risk, to hell with love or anything, bloodline first.
@@candyalex12very true...anyone who thinks being a side chick is alright must be sick in the head. Its either them or their mama are side chicks
My problem with these kinds of stories is that now the child is 18 and gas to watch this nonsense 😢
This woman was a main chick turned side chick. She didn’t start as a side. This was full relationship and there was genuine love, if they hadn’t been told they couldn’t have kids she could’ve been the wife
What's your point exactly?
@@zethesjourney4389She's trying to justify ths woman's actions
What come first??? Marriage or kids
If man wants to make you his wife he will regardless...
@@Blessed224elaborate because you are bold for this statement!
When she said "now he loves me too much" yet he still hasn't married her😅😂😂😂 It's giving inganekwane vibez🤞😂
😂😂😂😂😂 Dudeeeeeee
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Its a MESSSSS
But she did say he offered to though and she refused..
Inganekwane sana if you ask me🤣🤣🤣
They are both comfortable with whatever that is between them. It's you who has a problem with their affair
I think this lady loved and respected uMamkhulu(1st wife) inside of her mind lives a child shame kodwa in reality she’s just old wethu. Makayeke udika😄😄
Love her for standing by her unconventional uncomfortable truth❤
The Host finishing this ladies sentences is sending me😂😂 like get to the point..
totally enjoyed this interview
WHAT A STORY!! Claps a lot 👏🏽 .
Life is not lived in a straight line.
This woman is brave to have left her son in a dangerous situation that left people injured.
This lady was groomed by that man and she is in his mental prison hence "dilulu" is all over her psychologically. What a sad life, I feel sorry because she has never lived a full life of honour as a woman
It's giving lies... Who doesn't want to get married especially when the men marries another person.... May I never live a life of lies 😮
You're a wise woman, i think lot of ppl commented without listening till the end.
The end is more confusing, what do you mean?
I don't think she should be seen as a side chick. It devalues her integrity. She, for all purposes and intent, the man's wife. It's just that things did not unfold as per expectations. She has taken her own particular way in love life, a respectable way I must add. I respect her immensely.
Same
Co. 🫱🏾🫲🏽
But the man should formalise even traditionally like Zuma 😂
Same here
Exactly!
This lady is delulu I swear🤞
Mrs Law's laugh proves the point 😂😂.
Gogo "Mamkhulu" is very old and very proud to be on tick tok bashing women who choose marriage.
Aowa this woman is not a side chick, she actually the one she was just pushed away by the family
No she is not
@@gedrutsekgala8339yes you’re right she’s not a side chick ..
xes a side chicken
Had it not been the family refusing her from marrying, she would have been a wife with that one son, who knows she would have been blessed their blocked that for a older woman
The way things carried on she was meant to be in this family
@@blackwoman_015😂😂haibo side chicken
Definitely
My heart broke for her when she said she did not have enough time to prove herself💔
To have developed such an impression of yourself at such a young age.
A lot of what she is saying is not consistent. She dated this guy when he was married.
Yoh
😂😂wow South Africa is a movie Yoo-hoo. She was suppose to say when a man doesn’t want to marry you he won’t marry you when advising us. But team home wrecker nje side chick wife mamakhulu 😮
Kannete 😂😂😂😂
I think they are already planning the wedding.She said now AM MARRYING THE MAN OF MY DREAMS,then she said IF I DECIDE😊
Umhlolo sesi. She is delusional for real yoh.
This man did’nt really want to marry her at all,even after having a child with her he still did’nt make her a second wife,he is just a Peado who took advantage of a young girl but in her adulhood I blame her for staying and not ending this relationship.
She refused to marry him!
@@antonattachihombori9561 So she says,mdala is not there to confirm that statement,also why would he marrying her has to come with conditions of whether she is woman enough to bear children or not?
🤔🤔🙁
This Lady made choice and she knew what she was doing and got comfortable in it...at some point best choice...she knew she was a 2nd best
@mrs law your words are powerful. I love that, " my husband is not that powerful for me to betray myself" I yes you girl😍😍
I know of a few aunties who have been sidekicks to well known, wealthy SA men. They are never in the public eye, but have good access to " spousal benefits"
Some are not even wealthy, they are comfortable and inlove
The man never wanted to marry her. Why didn't the other woman have to prove that she can have babies as well 😢
Hayi she like the word 'remember'
Yhooooo she is remembering a lot....,🤣🤣
I like her honesty and openness
Mme o wa ikaketse ene ke tenwa ke gore le rona wa re tsenya nou😂😂😂 le form 3 le
The wife calls her Mamkhulu 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The wife is secretly winning 😅 she’ll keep calling the Delulu one Mamkhulu but on paper she is the one who has all the wife benefits 😭God forbid the man dies
Ma’am, the delulu here is unmatched🙉
Absolutely not the solulu though, please
Everything goes to the wife😂😂
Nope. My grandmother almost fainted coz all her life she thought she'd get everything coz she's the wife. If a woman makes a man pay child support nothing is released until all the kids he's paying for are present and everything is shared equally. They can even claim the house you live in if your husband owned it or you're married in community of property.
@@mamellomosase9448that is not true. According to the law, in community of property, the wife always gets 50% of all assets in case of divorce, and 100% in the case of death unless otherwise stated in a will. Your grandmother most likely never registered her marriage. And why would a wife have her husband pay child support in the 1st place?
@@mamellomosase9448yes, people need to check the law before making comments on benefits of wives vs sidechicks..the law is just in this area and the husband can always nominate the side to inherit, the family and wife will have no say, the law will prevail qha!
When a man cheats its his business. Its important to be yourself. Love yourself and live a life. Your identity is in God not with a man.
If patience was a person
Tsine base Nelspruit asimati losisi😢😢😂😂
Asimati nje nakancane😩
Yoooooo nami angimati😂😂😂😂😂
A 48yr old would have not done “form3” at that time it was “standard” but this lady seriously has something to do with the Illness of other ladies. Also this relationship traumatised her she’s not make sure
Plus she cant be 48 and dated him for 23yrs since the age of 19.. the math is not mathing
My sister just said so, she is 52 and did Standard. Aai her story is messy.
Ain't this staged thou?😮
@@itumelengmokoena9933 i doubt it is because she’s saying the same thing on Tiktok🤷♀️
Her family didn't want nothing to do with the old man cos she was underage doing FORMC
Everytime promise says “Ohkaay”…💀😂😂😂😂
To the people that are condemning her, was she supposed to just fall behind whereas she was there first, she never took anyobody's husband, she just continued living her life and I commend her for it!
We all have choices in life, she had choices.
The man never had good intentions for her and he saw the desperation in her.
Met you before her, but you have now graduated from side chick to side hen over the years😮😮😅😅
She is lying this one. She is 48 dated the guy 23 years in grade 12?. Do the math.
She should have been 25 or 26 while in grade 10. Come on.
Yeah , but he took 2 wives😅 and she’s now ready too marry if he asks… this isn’t normal
The thing is the guy was wellknown and providing, if it was not this could never happened not forgetting their traditions .(sidechick not good for our children).
The ring doesn't mean anything it's the heart of a person or character it doesn't have to do with marriege or anything
I'm so proud of you my lady you the house for your son kerp it up goid job🎉🎉
If I date a public political figure and I keep looking twice my age and this rough please all of you slap me back to reality .. What!🤦🏽♀️🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
I’ll give you one hot slap don’t worry 😂😅
👍