Things We No Longer Do as a Christian Couple | Christian Marriage Advice for Husbands & Wives

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 91

  • @guywerry6614
    @guywerry6614 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Super on board with the "not gossiping about your spouse" under the guise of complaining between friends.
    I have done the gossip about thing in the past and I really appreciate the light that you have put this in. VERY convicting and I will pay more attention to this in the future.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      We all have at some point I think… it was convicting to us years ago as well.

  • @christydavenport1259
    @christydavenport1259 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I just love your videos! I’m a 41 year old single divorcee, who never planned on getting divorced. Starting over is so much harder than I ever imagined, especially trying to find someone in this day and age that holds the same Christian principals.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you for sharing with us Christy! Are you looking for someone? Is that your desire? To remarry?

    • @christydavenport1259
      @christydavenport1259 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@OurFruitfulFamily…if that’s Gods plan for me. I’ve been divorced since 2009 and our son was only 4. So I put that part of my life on the back burner til he got grown. He’s in basic training and married and I’m in the process of finally going back to school, something I’ve been wanting to do for years. And if God wants me to remarry, I’m sure He will send me someone, in his time.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am going to say a prayer for you right now. God bless you sister.

    • @christydavenport1259
      @christydavenport1259 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@OurFruitfulFamily….thank you so much!

    • @bettinak.4
      @bettinak.4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm gonna pray for you! You're still so young, I'm sure God has great things for you!

  • @oursweetiebirdshome
    @oursweetiebirdshome ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you SO MUCH for mentioning the date night thing. We have also created a life that we don’t want to escape from and it’s wonderful to not feel the need to be away from our children in order to connect with one another. ❤

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It sure does provide a prospective change doesn’t it? God bless you and your family!

    • @oursweetiebirdshome
      @oursweetiebirdshome ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@OurFruitfulFamily Yes it does! I am thankful for your channel. It is so encouraging to hear from you both!

    • @bettinak.4
      @bettinak.4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes! So many people speak about the importance of me-time and date nights, but for me I just don't feel that's the right mindset.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      Agreed

  • @jennifernorth4110
    @jennifernorth4110 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I feel like my husband and I live pretty close (if not to a T) to the things that are on this list. We just celebrated seven years of marriage on Sunday the 24th. Love your videos! 😊

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for sharing with us! Congratulations on 7 years Jennifer! May God bless you with many more!

  • @Becky-t4o
    @Becky-t4o 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I don’t consider myself an active Christian but I do find myself agreeing with a lot of these things. A very healthy model for marriage.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      God bless you Becky! Thank you for watching!

  • @tomland9293
    @tomland9293 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I like how your modesty discussion was focused on Cody since these types of discussions tend on only focus on the ladies.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ladies and men alike need to practice modesty. Our culture seems to disregard both…

  • @justinpoirier2807
    @justinpoirier2807 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    May the Lord Continue To Bless The Toups Time Family and as a Side Note Saving up towards our Bold3 Coffee Goal.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you brother! And thank you for supporting them! They seem to have a wonderful
      Ministry going! As a side note, we make no money off of that ad! They do send us a couple bags of coffee a month though! It’s yummy!

    • @justinpoirier2807
      @justinpoirier2807 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@OurFruitfulFamily I Figured because you’re both humble that’s a great deal you promote them and they let you continue to enjoy the product. It tells me that they have a Heart for the Lord and that’s worth supporting. My side note 🗒️ have a Blessed day 🫠

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      God bless you brother

  • @Kings-daughter15
    @Kings-daughter15 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank y'all once again for the great advice!!!🤗 I look forward to one day putting this into practice, Lord willing! 🙏🏽
    Keep it up with the great videos! 👏🏼

  • @Gwaycee
    @Gwaycee 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I heard an elderly couple talk about some things they do in their relationship and one thing that caught my attention is the where they solve disagreements. They decided early on that they never ever argue in their bedroom because that's the one place they do not want to associate with negative emotions. For them, the pantry is the place where they shut the door away from their children and work it all out. Wherever it is that disagreements are solved, I agree that it should at least not be in the bedroom.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is wonderful advice! Thank you for sharing!

  • @Annayasha
    @Annayasha ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I dont even have a boyfriend yet 😅 but I want to form a family in the near future and your channel is so interesting because its so different to everything media and culture tell us its right. I admire you 2 and your relationship, you guys are amazing❤

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is such an encouraging comment and pushes us to keep releasing this content for people like you. God bless you sister.

  • @sandragarwood1948
    @sandragarwood1948 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Excellent, dear wise people!

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      Haha you flatter Sandra! Don’t do that 😜😂🤪Haha! God bless you sister!

  • @deltonwatts9726
    @deltonwatts9726 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for sharing these great family values. Blessings!

  • @yanm8633
    @yanm8633 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    (5:21) "Don't fly drones around to see if...." - that made me laugh! Good one Cody!

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      hahahahah Don't do it Yan! Just don't. hahah

    • @yanm8633
      @yanm8633 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@OurFruitfulFamily I've only pinpointed your sushi restaurant....
      ...so far 🤣🤣

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahahhaha

  • @katrinapecht4914
    @katrinapecht4914 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wonderful advice! Side note: Love the southern accents!😁❤️

  • @olamidemary138
    @olamidemary138 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Awesome points ❤

  • @dmt0430
    @dmt0430 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for making this. I really agree with a lot of what you said and do.

  • @annitaphillips3038
    @annitaphillips3038 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I've been missing your videos. I pray that y'all are taking time away before your a family of 5. I Pray Blessings Over You and Yours, and Whatever You Do, Do it With Your Whole Heart ❤

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh bless you Annita. Thank you so much for this encouragement. We have a couple of big projects going on right now that are time sensitive. Almost done with the time sensitive portions. We have recorded a couple of videos, but have had zero time to edit them and get them uploaded… we do plan to upload a new one this coming week. Thank you for checking in on us! God bless you sister.

  • @guywerry6614
    @guywerry6614 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The joint bank account thing actually has a side benefit in the case of catastrophe. If a spouse dies unexpectedly and all of the money is in THEIR bank account, that can leave the surviving spouse really scrambling at a very unpleasant time.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What we are saying is to have both names on the bank account. We both have access to all of our bank accounts. Death of a spouse wouldn’t effect access in that sense.

    • @guywerry6614
      @guywerry6614 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@OurFruitfulFamilyAgreed, that's why I mentioned it - having separate accounts can cause real hardship.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh haha I misunderstood you! I thought you said the opposite haha! My brain stopped working for a minute there 😂

  • @mountainmama7155
    @mountainmama7155 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My husband and I really struggle with being able to communicate. It's like we do not speak the same language. The thing is, we actually DO love each other. We want to be together! Gahhhhh! I just want to be able to communicate without hurting him and also with him understanding me😮‍💨
    Ps. I truly love your channel content.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      I would love to be able to help you if I can. What are some examples of situations you are referring to?

    • @mountainmama7155
      @mountainmama7155 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@OurFruitfulFamily Hmmmm, let me see if I can explain......So, for instance, we just had a baby. I have felt so emotionally unsupported by him this time, and some other times as well. Not like he is mean, just he doesn't say anything. Like he used to tell me what a good job I did giving birth. Now he says nothing. In my fragile state of mind, I wonder if he even realizes how hard it still is, or if he just thinks I got used to it,after 12 babies. If I'm crying, he might ask what's wrong, but when I can't explain( hormones🤦‍♀️) he doesn't say anything else and moves on. No hug or assurance that it will get better. He feels left out after a baby, because Babies take alot of time, and he does voice that. Again, he's not hateful, but it tends to grind on my fatigued brain. I could go on and on about postpartum relationship issues. I am not generally a emotionally fragile person, but postpartum does tend to be an exception. Other times, He might be a little upset about a lack of communication, and somehow it turns into a full blown argument or something. Sometimes, looking back, I'm not even sure how we arrived at such a level of turmoil. I think that the things I feel about him are actually kinda the same things he is thinking about me. I personally feel very stressed most of the time, and I believe it is partially due to our relational deficits. I don't even know if this makes sense to someone reading this, but My husband and I believe in fighting FOR what we highly value. In this case, our relationship and family. I need to be a better wife, I just get so frustrated sometimes.
      For context: We used to be part of a church that didn't allow dating. Our union was one that we both wanted, but we honestly didn't know each other very well. So, it has been kinda Rocky all along. I just want to be the wife I can and should be, yet, I struggle with his lack of verbal communication. I think he would be happy if I stopped communicating so much! I always think, if I can just explain myself clearly, he will understand. It never works. I always just end up hurting him and he feels attacked. Does any of this make sense?

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hm... There is definitely a communication barrier here. Jessie and I do a good job most times at talking through issues as they arise. Sometimes however (after having children for instance), if we fail in the area of communication, there is a tension between us that is so palpable, you could cut it with a knife. For these situations, you need a face to face talk. A "talk it out" session. No passing remarks during the day... no pointed jabs when you get angry... no gossiping about it to a friend... but an intentional "we need to talk" session. Express how much this would mean to you and that you want to be a better wife in the areas that you have failed him because you love and respect him. What this will do is set an atmosphere of humility. He has failed you as well. We all fall short. You both need to lay all of your cards out on the table. Patients and endurance is important here as well. Listen to one another and endure the honesty. It's not easy if this is the first time you two have done this. Express this beforehand. Express that you want TOTAL honesty. You want to hear it all. When sharing your issues and frustrations, do so with a gentle, loving and understanding spirit. Truly listen to one another. Understand the humanness of the other person. You are both fallen creation that screw up. Both in need of God's grace... so show one another grace as well. With all the cards on the table, you two need to formulate solutions to these issues. Figure out ways to fix the problems in your marriage that satisfies BOTH of you. Sometimes, the solution may not immediately be apparent. In these times, let your partner know that you truly care and will work on figuring out a solution. Be HONEST not only when airing the issues, but also when formulating the solutions. If you aren't honest and happy with the solutions, then the issue will just remain get buried again. You two need this session. You need to air out your problems in a constructive, but loving and non-hostile way. This has always worked wonders for us. I hope this helps. I am going to pray for you two right now. I look forward to hearing back from you. God bless you.

  • @sammuelmeger7996
    @sammuelmeger7996 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That's awesome advice. Thanks for sharing

  • @jrender4867
    @jrender4867 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I scanned over the transcript quickly. I know it's a great testimony you two have. I hope many Christian couples take it to heart. Couldn't listen and watch though. Too painful. Sorry fot blubbering.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I've never done that haha! I hope the transcript is pretty accurate hahah!

  • @MarkBH70
    @MarkBH70 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I don't know why people would turn their home into a battlefield. It hurts the spouses and the children. I never thought about bodily modesty until I was already an adult. My Muslim roommate mentioned it. Now I try to be fully dressed. The commands of God are clear. People choose not to obey.

  • @corneliusredekop4081
    @corneliusredekop4081 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I like to watch your videos a lot of great advise. Have you ever read the book 5 love language for children? 34:00 A gift could be someone's love language doesn't need to be expensive, but from the heart.

  • @davidulrich1693
    @davidulrich1693 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So good. :)

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you David! It’s good to hear from you again!!!

  • @Tolyty12
    @Tolyty12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What do you think about wearing earrings?? And I see your wife wears earrings as a Christian what do earrings represent?? I would like to hear your insight on it, if possible, thanks

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I will start by saying that we released a video on modesty here
      th-cam.com/video/AxEto4aQUqI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=b6Iwdt_BIbgo0zVH
      In general, all things we do should be to the glory of God. We should glorify God with our dress. These things are a matter of the heart. The Roman women at the time of Paul’s message were dressing and adorning themselves in a manor with the intentions of drawing attention to their bodies for all the wrong reasons. They were sexualizing their bodies with their adornment. Our clothing and adornment should draw attention to our faces, not the sexual parts of our bodies. Dressing in a way that distracts from focusing on God (n church for instance) is obviously wrong. Given this background (I’m assuming you are referring to Paul’s message to the Romans. Peter also discusses jewelry in a similar way in 1 Peter 3) and given the approval of Jewelery elsewhere in scripture (Ezekiel 16:11-14, Song of Solomon 1:10) we shouldn’t read Paul and Peters words as an absolute prohibition of Jewelery, rather, we should see that they are telling us to not put too much emphasis on our jewelry. It shouldn’t be too “flashy”. It should be quaint and humble. It shouldn’t distract from our natural beauty and certainly (in the church setting) shouldn’t distract from the worship of God! I hope this helps! God bless you!

  • @karenseay2225
    @karenseay2225 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Well, I'm offended....I live in Louisiana....LOLOLOL no, just kidding. I can understand we have our preferences. Love ya'lls videos. Keep up the good words.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahaha it’s not the people in general… it’s the part of Louisiana where we lived… Walker… it’s overpopulated and way too busy for us. Might as well be in the middle of baton rough haha! We love the culture.

    • @karenseay2225
      @karenseay2225 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@OurFruitfulFamily I figured as much. I currently live in a little town about 3 miles from the Texas state line. Hope to be moving soon...deeper into Louisiana..lololol

  • @Mrs.WordSmith.GEN_8zero
    @Mrs.WordSmith.GEN_8zero ปีที่แล้ว +1

    But it’s healthy to have some level of disagreements in front of / around kids that are in the picture … bc that models out in “ real life” for kids to witness people disagreeing & then being able to work through conflict in relationships to be able to arrive at conflict resolution.
    To avoid “ fighting /disagreeing” in front of or around the kids ISNT necessarily serving them well bc it’s “ hiding “ away from them the very real reality that people especially married people are Not always going to get along peacefully . To allow the kiddos to think that ‘ good’ relationships are conflict free & are only peaceful, ISNT very realistic …. Even in Christian homes.
    In other words “ avoidance behavior” modeled out in front of kids doesn’t serve them well in the long run as they grow.

    • @ck337
      @ck337 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes I think this is important too. Obviously not yelling or anything like that. That should never happen in front of kids or not period. But just disagreeing I think is important for them to see because yes, disagreements will happen. And you don’t want them to imagine in their heads how ‘perfect’ your marriage was and how mom and dad never argued or disagreed on anything. It sets them up to think in marriage you are always 100% in sync constantly and that’s just not realistic. I do agree that *some* arguments or disagreements should be in private. Depending on the nature of the thing you’re arguing about. But I don’t think that they should be always avoided just because the kids are present.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      Of course! There is nothing wrong with disagreeing. Even more important is asking for forgiveness in front of your children. What we were saying is we shouldn’t be displaying an unhealthy “knock down drag out” in front of our children. We disagree all the time. That is inevitable. How we handle the disagreement is what matters. @ck337

  • @phillipjones611
    @phillipjones611 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have an issue with No. 10. Time apart is healthy for a relationship isn't it? Anyway, I want to be with my wife as much time as possible, she doesn't want to spend any time with me. I can't leave, there are issues of Mental Health and Care: I use a wheelchair and need my wife as a caregiver as you call it in the US, and if I tell her to leave then she's likely to have a Mental Health Crisis, stuck.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Of course time apart is healthy. The rest of what we said in that conversation, laid out the context of the topic. We love one another’s company. We of course do our own thing from time to time. The idea is that we don’t LONG for lots of time apart like some of the people in the examples we mentioned. If the household and the relationship is one of peace and tranquility, you will desire one another’s company. Your case is obviously a different scenario than the average Christian household because of the caretaker role… I’m going to say a prayer for you and your wife right now brother…

    • @phillipjones611
      @phillipjones611 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@OurFruitfulFamily Thanks.

  • @MsLally5
    @MsLally5 ปีที่แล้ว

    okay Toups. So if you have your account as part of an estate, the joint account can be frozen for a period of time if one of you passes away. Having separate accounts in this case is a good idea. My parents have a joint account and Dad had a separate account. Dad got scammed. Had their joint account gotten scammed, they could have lost everything! Just think about it.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      We are not saying that you have to only have one account… we have many banking accounts… the idea is that we share them… it isn’t “my money” to spend how I choose. It’s OUR money, as a family. You can obviously have money diversified however you choose.
      Also, as long as your account has the clause “right of survivorship”, the surviving spouse still has access to the account.

  • @YouMatterAndYouAreLoved
    @YouMatterAndYouAreLoved ปีที่แล้ว +1

    5:41 She sure is!!

  • @kingdomrootedmama
    @kingdomrootedmama ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Do you guys have a video on how y’all make money from home.

    • @OurFruitfulFamily
      @OurFruitfulFamily  ปีที่แล้ว

      Not a generalized video, but we do have a series on the playlist here...
      th-cam.com/play/PLGqVMuj_K0jDqlW6UA5HIEk9NavljcblL.html
      where there are several videos on some of the ways that we make money from home specifically.

  • @yanx007
    @yanx007 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    (24:16) Having kids makes the man, that's fer SURE!

  • @Becky-t4o
    @Becky-t4o 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I don’t consider myself an active Christian but I do find myself agreeing with a lot of these things. A very healthy model for marriage.