One and Only? | {The And} Monogamy & Polyamory

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
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    It’s a conversation that all couples should at the very least be on the same page about before they start dating right? Well… Watch some of our amazing participants from {THE AND} give their thoughts on the polyamory vs monogamy debate. Some of their answers may surprise you...and their partners!
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    One and Only? | {The And} Monogamy & Polyamory

ความคิดเห็น • 169

  • @thegossipswan009
    @thegossipswan009 6 ปีที่แล้ว +400

    Polyamory is definitely not for me, but hey, whatever floats your boat. Our personal life is our personal life.

    • @emmi3785
      @emmi3785 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same. :) I am introvert and one relationship at time is more than enough for me. He doesn't own me, but I have selected to be only with him. He doesn't want other relationship (side relationship, sex relationship or equal relationship) at the same time, but I would be open to that idea, if he wanted. (I have been thinking this rough already in my previous relationship and that's how I still think.)
      I support the amory that is most suitable for you and your partner(s).

  • @annedery8905
    @annedery8905 6 ปีที่แล้ว +248

    I hate how polyamourous people can be so judgmental towards people who still believe in monogamy... We are not sexually repressed bigots who live in a past that doesn't exist anymore. I am all for open couples, if that's what works for you, but do not look at me, as if I am a naive little girl that doesn't know anything about real life. Monogamy stills exists and IS possible, as long as communication, love and respect are a big part of your relationship.

    • @firstlast-ql8gn
      @firstlast-ql8gn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Anne Déry funny you feel attacked. Imagine how the polyamorous community feels ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • @annedery8905
      @annedery8905 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      The aggressive blond girl in the video triggered me. Sorry.
      But still, I actually do feel attacked when people roll their eyes when I talk about my choices and tell me I am stupid, frustrated, immature and/or repressed for wanting to be in an exclusive relationship. I respect the polyamorous lifestyle. Respect mine.

    • @EmmmaKay
      @EmmmaKay 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      "I can't have sex with this person because this other person owns my body and my sexual feelings and all the things I like and respect about another human being, that is just fucking crazy" is a little extreme and not a true representation of all monogamy. If she doesn't like people making assumptions and judgements about polyamory, why is she doing that about monogamy?

    • @cams.3746
      @cams.3746 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      This is pretty late now haha, but just remember that the view of ONE polyamorous person does not reflect polyamory ... I am poly, and I do not agree with the judgmental, "this is crazy", "monogamy = ownership" view. She is talking from her experience though, and her feelings are certainly legitimate, but I do not like the way she presents her view either.

    • @Kat-nx3ch
      @Kat-nx3ch 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@cams.3746 this was so poetic you should go into debate

  • @banquo3336
    @banquo3336 6 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    Love the "monogamy = ownership" narrative that I was pretty sure was going to be thrown out at some point in this video. A relationship is VOLUNTARY. If you get into a relationship and agree to being exclusive to one other, that's not ownership, it's a conscious choice by the person who makes that commitment. Every one of these videos has the same schtick. Paint monogamy as somehow broken, or the people who prefer it as insecure or controlling etc. A desire for a one on one relationship dynamic is not worse than a desire for many partners.
    Unless someone is putting a gun to your head (and no, declaring your requirement for monogamy does not count), ditch the poly = not controlling narrative. There's nothing liberating about it for those us of that know ourselves well enough that we know we will never have interest in multiple partners. If that's not your bag, then don't agree to be monogamous.

    • @EyeLean5280
      @EyeLean5280 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And what about the woman who says, "the person I'm with is *mine*"? And her partner saying, "You'd be dead to me." You don't find these to be expressions of entitlement and ownership?

    • @priscillam8903
      @priscillam8903 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@EyeLean5280 "the person I'm with is mine and I'm theirs"
      What is so bad with MUTUAL ownership?
      And please...As soon as you enter a relationship, you are not alone anymore.
      You don't do whatever you want...That is why 99% of people in poly relationship have rules and stuff.
      I can do whatever I want with my body, my heart, my soul...go tell that to your partner so they can leave you alone. That is being single

    • @snowleopardintroversion
      @snowleopardintroversion 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      When I talk about how hurt I am with my husband with him being poly, even though I was supportive of him trying it at first, he tries to make me feel guilty by playing the "ownership" card constantly. I wish I could make him see it's not about owning him, it's about wanting it to be just me and him and needing him to acknowledge that I am hurt. For him to see that maybe it would be wiser to end what we have for us both to be happier. But he wants to keep me while still being poly. And it's like he wants me to feel bad for wanting us to be exclusive again, back before he discovered he was poly.

    • @banquo3336
      @banquo3336 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@snowleopardintroversion If he wants to keep you around even though you are unhappy, then It he should consider whether he sees you as an individual with your own needs, or an appliance that he keeps around for your utility. THAT is ownership. He's guilt tripping you into staying whilst downplaying your misery and that's typical for someone who uses poly as a cover to treat people like toys. It's no more "ownership" to be exclusive than it is to have any other boundary, and that's what this is ultimately about. Monogamy is your boundary. You have the right to decide what venue that you wish to make yourself vulnerable in, and if monogamy is it, then you won;t feel happy otherwise. He doesn't speak your love language. Your goals and expectations are misaligned. Wanting monogamy is absolutely 100% valid and you must not, under any circumstances, let him gaslight you into feeling bad about it.

    • @banquo3336
      @banquo3336 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@EyeLean5280 No. "Mine" implies relation, not ownership.

  • @cassandramontes2661
    @cassandramontes2661 6 ปีที่แล้ว +248

    Monogamy isn't "owning" your partner.. Damn that girl made it sound like slavery

    • @josuerivera7921
      @josuerivera7921 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Cassandra McClelland they are all like that. I’ve been looking into this lifestyle for a short time and I’m starting to believe that it’s a mental problem.

    • @weakgait
      @weakgait 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      It is slavery

    • @truthseeker8200
      @truthseeker8200 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@weakgait If that's slavery then all human relationships are slavery?

    • @bloodcottoncandy
      @bloodcottoncandy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      But your partner can't romantically love more people than just you or else you get jealous, right? There is some feeling of toxic entitlement there. Just pointing out the facts.

    • @EyeLean5280
      @EyeLean5280 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Okay, but the very next woman says, "the person I'm with is MINE." That sounds very much like a sense of ownership to me.

  • @czz1751
    @czz1751 6 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    It would be nice if people could not project their own insecurities by attacking people different from you. You don't have to be polyamorous. No one is asking you to be. It isn't for everyone. Neither is monogamy.

  • @karenGomezmonte81090
    @karenGomezmonte81090 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I was always anti-marriage. I didn't understand monogamy. I couldn't figure out how that could last. And then I met my partner and I started to understand the beauty of constancy and history and change and going on the roller coaster with someone of having a partner in life. - M.B

    • @feartheghus
      @feartheghus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      m.b. didn't understand because he hadn't truly loved another yet, once he found someone whom he loved more than anything and anyone else he knew the beauty of true love and its inherent monogamy.

  • @SailingSeignior
    @SailingSeignior 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Definitely agree with the first guy. I think both structures have their pros and cons but monogamy is the better choice for the overwhelming majority of human beings.

    • @moltenkitty7157
      @moltenkitty7157 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      SailingSeignior most people are monogamous so ^^ i just believe polyamory/nonmongamy is simply having a larger compacity and yearning for a deep connection with more than one person not because their partner isnt enough but because they just crave that deep connection with more than one person.. monogamy is totally fine and should be respected i think but i wish more people were respectful of polyamory here and would educate themselves first instead of instantly reacting with so much fear/insecurity/anger..

    • @EyeLean5280
      @EyeLean5280 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I think culture plays a much bigger role in such choices than we like to think. In most cultures, only men are expected to remain monogamous for an entire marriage. In some cultures, women are expected to have several husbands. In every culture, most people just go along with the majority opinion, whatever it is, and claim it's "natural" or "the better choice" but really, it's learned behavior.

  • @ETFbvbAA
    @ETFbvbAA 6 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    I only believe in being monogamous but I won't judge someone who isn't. I think there are just different strokes for different folks.

    • @moltenkitty7157
      @moltenkitty7157 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ETFbvbAA That's totally fine and i respect your opinion, but i think that being poly isnt a choice necessarily, basically, i think that being poly just means you have a larger compacity and are able to feel romantically attracted to more than one person at a time. I completely respect monogamy and i really like the idea of it, being someones 'the one', but there are people out there who crave that romantic/emotional/spiritual relationship with more than one person. i hope this clears up some of the confusion for you people, poly people arent necessarily dirty or slutty etc, they just crave more connection..

    • @ETFbvbAA
      @ETFbvbAA 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Molten Kitty I don't think poly people are slutty but it confuses me because I can't relate to it. I actually follow a non monogamous youtuber and even though she explains it I think it's just something that I'll never be able to completely understand. It's just hard for me to imagine someone putting their all into multiple people. I feel like someone is eventually going to feel neglected in that type of relationship. This is a stupid comparison but I think of it as when I have a crush on multiple people at once I usually like one person a little bit more than the others. I guess I imagine poly as that. Of course it works for people and that's great but I know it wouldn't work for me because I want who I'm dating to only be with me. I just didn't like how in the video one of the couples thought of being monogamous as owning another person. If two people only want to see each other what's the big deal? I think the reason why my view of being poly is distorted is because when I've been exposed to hasn't been the best examples (on TV) but the TH-camr I watch actually changed some of my opinions about being poly. She seems comfortable with herself and her decisions and yeah sorry for the rant I'm eating a poptart and typing this with one hand.

  • @abbierobinson6873
    @abbierobinson6873 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I hope anyone I dated would be open enough with me to tell me they wanted a non momogamous relationship. And I hope they would be confident enough to know thats not what I'm interested in. Non-monogamy shouldn't be the more inherently open option.

  • @PrayingMoth
    @PrayingMoth 6 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    Polyamory isn't something I support. Everyone has a right to an opinion, but I am loyal to one, hold feelings for one, and the rest is to support myself and them..

    • @janet3711
      @janet3711 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      GodFather are you religious? christian?

  • @LazyVocalist
    @LazyVocalist 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Yikes @ this comment section. I don't think polyamory would work for me and i don't plan on ever trying it tbh. If it works for you that's great! Idk why people get so upset about relationships that literally don't affect them. Unless someone is getting hurt or abused then mind your business and worry about your own relationships.

    • @moltenkitty7157
      @moltenkitty7157 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      LazyVocalist 👏👏

    • @yikesyouagain7516
      @yikesyouagain7516 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The problem is people affect others and thanks to that we have the american toxic hook up culture that most people ended up with depression 🙃

  • @emkaemusic
    @emkaemusic 6 ปีที่แล้ว +137

    Lol wow the comments are so negative but like why? If polyamory ain't your thing, that's fine. A LOT of people feel that way. So why do yall feel almost personally attacked and repugnant towards people who choose to live that way lol i dont get it.

    • @sleepygirl96
      @sleepygirl96 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      FauxRebel bc it shows them what they could have if they would conquer their jealousy and their their insecurities. These types of videos show what humans are capable of if they open their mind, leave the traditional road, work on their communication and dig deep into their feelings. That seems hard, so the next best thing is to hate on these relationships, these possibilties

    • @nonyafourthreetwoonezero7350
      @nonyafourthreetwoonezero7350 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Probably bc they have people who shiz on monogamy. You can live your life and respect someone else's way of life.

    • @shin-ishikiri-no
      @shin-ishikiri-no 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Fauxrebel It's because they're jealous that they have to play by monogamy rules when others don't...

    • @EyeLean5280
      @EyeLean5280 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Well, you must admit, the blond woman isn't all that mature about it. She uses dismissive and aggressive language to describe monogamy ("it's crazy!"). Polyamorous people like her give poly a bad name.

  • @ilizhof
    @ilizhof 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Why does that girl think that monogamy is about “owning” someone else? 🤨🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      its a strawman. she has to mischarachterize it so she can attack it

  • @SerenityReceiver
    @SerenityReceiver 6 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    I would be interested in people telling us about their polyamory. How exactly they live it and if it played out the way they wanted.

    • @TheSkinDeep
      @TheSkinDeep  6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You might want to check out Jazmin & Justin's full {The And} video here: th-cam.com/video/Z-zBG63U2KE/w-d-xo.html or Eilin & Andrew here: th-cam.com/video/gHiCx4azRDg/w-d-xo.html . You can also see where you land in the shifting spectrum of polyamory, asexuality, and chosen family with the Levi and Bauer episode of The Dig: thedig.tv/episode.html?ep=3 .

    • @SerenityReceiver
      @SerenityReceiver 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you, I will have a look. :)

    • @firstlast-ql8gn
      @firstlast-ql8gn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I've been in a poly/open/non-monogamous Relationship for 15 years.

    • @foggypatchfarm6048
      @foggypatchfarm6048 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm a single male and I've been involved with both swinging and poly couples. Swinging couples appear to stay together more than couples that open up to polyamory, in my opinion. Swinging is less complex too. I say this after nearly 10 years experience in polyamory. It doesn't have to be monogamy or poly. There's a middle ground. Of course solo poly people can last in the community for years. I've been that type of poly person, but only because I couldn't find an attractive spouse in the community. The more attractive women had a husband or boyfriend that they lived with. The poly women that lived alone were not attractive. I'm not perfect either, but it's better to not settle, and I didn't. Things are a little bit different now that more people are trying polyamory. A handful of average looking (what I look for) single women are entering polyamory. It's not only the super eccentric people anymore.

  • @marie-lynnissa656
    @marie-lynnissa656 6 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    It's a no from me to polyamory

  • @NoemiFiona
    @NoemiFiona 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I don't really think there's much reason to judge people for choosing to be in either version of a relationship as long as both/all parties are in the same boat.
    Yes, there's very unhealthy poly relationships where one person is purely allowing their partner to be physical with other people to please them out of a plain fear of losing them (or whatever reason), but the same level (or worse) is what I have seen in plenty of monogamous couples who have either trust issues or just don't treat their partner respectfully!
    So, you do you, as long as you're not hurting anyone it's all fine by me.

  • @laurenray8995
    @laurenray8995 6 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    I'm really disappointed with a lot of these comments. I thought that The Skin Deep subscribers would be more open minded about alternate relationships, I'm a monogamous person but I believe in the freedom of consensual relationships. Not my place to judge others!

  • @kirstenrubberducky
    @kirstenrubberducky 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    You know, relationships come in all different forms. Some relationships are great, some not so much. I say, whatever works for you, do it. Find your happiness where you can, not where people think you should. Live and let live

  • @hotgoomba
    @hotgoomba 6 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    lol so many people in these comments reek of insecurity, closed-mindedness, and a real failure to grasp exactly what polyamory is, which is a little shocking due to the nature of this channel?
    if polyamory isn’t for you just don’t do it, but going to the extent of saying that people who are polya “aren’t in real relationships” or are “immoral” or “can’t really love their partners” is ridiculous, and really more of a reflection of you and your own limitations.
    it is perfectly okay to have those limitations. it is perfectly okay to be monogamous. it is also perfectly okay to be polyamorous. one size does not fit all.
    if the shoe doesn’t fit you don’t shit in that shoe, you find your appropriately sized shoe and leave the other shoe for someone else.
    stop shitting on people’s shoes.

    • @katkatkatkat463
      @katkatkatkat463 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      haha yes love the shoe analogy

    • @moltenkitty7157
      @moltenkitty7157 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      cherryspit Y E S 👏👏👏

    • @aboringsandwich
      @aboringsandwich 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@moltenkitty7157 Changing shoes more often than Mr. Rogers doesn't make the shoe fit any better...

  • @feartheghus
    @feartheghus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It’s hilarious to me that I can almost always tell just by looking at them which ones are the bad ones and which ones are the loyal ones.

  • @foggypatchfarm6048
    @foggypatchfarm6048 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have nearly 10 years of experience with polyamory. I'm tired of the complexity and also how dominant people control the little groups. I still don't prefer monogamy. Swinging is a better alternative than polyamory because it protects the primary relationship more. Not all swinging has to be impersonal and without connection!

  • @omegagiga43
    @omegagiga43 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    You do you, but me personally, the idea of my partner going off to see other people doesn't sit well with me. It makes me feel like they're not giving 100% into our relationship while I'm giving 100%. It just feels like I'm wasting my time with this person.

  • @saami9606
    @saami9606 6 ปีที่แล้ว +186

    No one values real realtionships anymore. This is sad

    • @sleepygirl96
      @sleepygirl96 6 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Sam Y what is a "real" relationship?? Monogamy is the traditional relationship but not the real one for everybody. You can go on and value that type of relationship so why is it bothering you that other value other kinds oft connections?

    • @SailingSeignior
      @SailingSeignior 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Monogamy isn't really the traditional relationship either. Centuries ago noblemen had multiple wives or sexual partners. Love and the concept of relationships have changed quite a bit over the past millennia.

    • @SailingSeignior
      @SailingSeignior 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Léa ! Exactly. The idea of love being the central part of a relationship is fairly new. In the past, relationships used to be more of a contract between the husband and father of the wife.

    • @user-lq2hh1mt5g
      @user-lq2hh1mt5g 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sam Y yeah. I was in that mindset that I wouldn't care and it's fun until I finally fell in love for the first time and now thinking of someone else makes me sick

    • @xaicho
      @xaicho 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Or maybe two people can decide for themselves what they want their relationship to look like.

  • @abbyotr07
    @abbyotr07 6 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    I couldn't even finish this video. Call me a prude (I'm sure some people will, or worse), but I could never ever be in a polygamous/polyamorous relationship; and it literally made my stomach turn listening to some of these people celebrate it. Sorry. That's just my feelings on the matter :-(

    • @heidirebecca9580
      @heidirebecca9580 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Abby OTR that doesn't mean your a prude.

    • @wafaaa4175
      @wafaaa4175 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      i agree. I thought I was open minded but 😕

    • @aubreyanderson8510
      @aubreyanderson8510 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same here.

    • @chelseyroberts838
      @chelseyroberts838 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Oh gosh an under represented and stigmatized community getting the platform to celebrate their existence. Oh how terrible that is. You all sound exactly like homophobes did. ✌

    • @abbyotr07
      @abbyotr07 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Chelsey Roberts I was waiting for someone like you to reply. Look, I have good friends who are homosexuals. I am no homophobe. I'd appreciate it if you didn't label me as one. I would befriend a polygamist but I would not go to celebrate it with them. Just like I'm sure an atheist and a Christian would be friends, but the atheist wouldn't go and celebrate Christ at a church. We can love each other and respect that we have different beliefs - even if we don't agree with them. I love TheAnd and didn't know what I was watching until I got into it. I was just being honest. I was not attacking the people; I gave my honest opinion about the concept. And I do have the right to speak. Peace.

  • @sophian6965
    @sophian6965 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "I don't want to be monogamous," is a turn off for me. I know I want a closed, exclusive relationship and I don't mind waiting until I find someone who shares those views. Monogamy only works if both sides are into the idea.

  • @pinky1494
    @pinky1494 6 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    A lot of the comments that are repulsed by polyamory astound me. When I watch this, it makes me see how monogamy is very possessive, and jealousy and fear will turn people into heartless partners when something interpreted as infidelity happens. Them saying "I wouldn't be able to look at you anymore", "you'd be dead to me", "I'd never forgive you". With polyamory, everyone seems much more compassionate and rational about the reality of human desire. They care about the maintenance and the health of a relationship, even if that means delaying any raw jealous emotions.

    • @djteefah
      @djteefah 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      TakingItIn Thank you for this positive comment! I love the idea of being in love and allowing your partner to love other people vice versa! People bring different things to the table and that's what makes life fun and fulfilling for me! Instead of chaining my partner to a list of what I want, I can get all my desires met from more than one lover! That's amazing to me and that's why I love the freedom of polyamory.

    • @XxPepperMintxX
      @XxPepperMintxX 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      How is monogamy "very possessive" and associated with jealousy and fear? If two people who have the same values and come together with an agreement, possession and jealousy and fear should not even have a part in their relationship.

    • @AlliLaw
      @AlliLaw 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Agreed. I'm in a monogamous relationship and I don't feel as if I own him and his body. It's just a discomfort with the idea of him being physical with other people. We are open and honest and if one of us felt like we needed something more, then we would discuss that and probably part ways.

    • @firstlast-ql8gn
      @firstlast-ql8gn 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Eden Grey there is so much that's inaccurate about your comment I don't even know where to begin. There's a lot of misconceptions you have unfortunately

    • @firstlast-ql8gn
      @firstlast-ql8gn 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Léa ! Literally everything you said was either false or a characteristic of toxic relationship. 😂

  • @rolelauren15
    @rolelauren15 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It's interesting how the monogamous people had the most extreme reactions like "You're dead to me" and "I would never be able to forgive you" while the polyamorous people were mostly about working through things and having open and honest communication. Both systems work for certain people, obviously, it's just that this was such a sharp contrast of both.

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Some humans form strong pair-bonds and are territorial over their partners. These people just have an expectation of monogamy from their partners. There is nothing wrong or right about this. They are entitled to leave or not associate with someone who violates these expectations. It is manipulative, hurtful , disrespectful to give the impression to someone that you are monogamy oriented when you are not. It is intellectually dishonest to discount the emotions people feel as if they are not real or valid, especially when it comes to sex.

  • @katybroadmusic123
    @katybroadmusic123 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    for da homeboys out there saying 'don't call me prudish' etc etc (when discussing poly), literally no one is trying to make u do anything... u don't have to change to poly or have open relationships... it's only about seeing how OTHER ppl work in their relationships...literally no one is asking u to leave anyone lolol. it would be nice to see respectful comments on poly.' cause, thats what ppl who r poly want. their relationships to be taken seriously.

    • @moltenkitty7157
      @moltenkitty7157 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      katy Broad I want this channel to make a video of three poly people all in a relationship talking about it and debunking alot of the myths surrounding it. i dont like that some people in this video attacked monogamy but honestly everyone has their opinions and i see a TON of people attacking polyamory here and its quite upsetting, i wish people would educate themselves first instead of reacting with so much insecurity/fear...

    • @Vilakazi
      @Vilakazi 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      y d fck do u type lyk dat. Gosh. get an education.

  • @jennyw.5550
    @jennyw.5550 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You don't own someone, you can never own someone. But being with 1 partner means you are loyal, respect and love them. But everyone is free to go when they want. So no you don't owe someone.

  • @jockmaraisasmr5700
    @jockmaraisasmr5700 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I don’t care if people wanna be in an open relationship but it is not okay with me in a relationship. I think the mindset of people who prefer polyamory is unstable. They try so hard to justify it and project their insecurities onto people who believe in monogamy as if monogamy is possessive and limiting. Not at all. What kind of relationships have you been in to make you think that? Monogamy is about loving someone so much that you don’t need someone else. You WANT to be loyal, you don’t HAVE to be. You WANT to be, because you feed one another’s soul and you’re enough for each other. Many polyamorous people love to act like monogamy is oppressive. It isn’t. It’s normal. We are not like other animals, we are humans capable of developing a soul bond. Don’t compare being in a human relationship to how other wild animals mate and fuck multiple mates, which in many species isn’t even true.

  • @applachianasia
    @applachianasia 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Obviously there will always be other people out there who you will be attracted to; emotionally, physically or both but I think the thing with monogamy is that it’s a choice. It’s a choice to say “I chose this person to build a life with” and that’s it.
    You make that choice. And I think polyamory is great for those that want to do it but for me it would be really confusing as to the future with that person. Could you ever get serious? Could you get engaged? Married? Live together? Buy a home? Have kids?
    It’s all really confusing to me when there’s more than 2 people in the picture. I understand for dating purposes but to actually fall in love with more than 1 person...it just seems tricky for what the future will be like.

  • @coolhand4585
    @coolhand4585 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It seems that Polyamorous people feel they’re the only ones who can be open and honest and have strong communication in a relationship.

  • @Calebbb98837
    @Calebbb98837 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    FYI - There is never a patreon link in the corner box. No link on the video.

  • @kall1010
    @kall1010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Look whatever floats your boat! BUT I personally dislike the idea of open relationships and polyamory, if I love someone, I would not want to share them with anyone else. Yes it is possessive but it's a two-way street, if we're together we BELONG to each other.

  • @chillinwviolet
    @chillinwviolet 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Would it be possible to just give a sum of money just for now and not monthly on patreon? Its hard for me to do per month.

    • @TheSkinDeep
      @TheSkinDeep  6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Totally understandable! Unfortunately we're only set up to take monthly contributions, but you could still help out by sharing the page with others and of course championing our videos to your friends and loved ones :) Thank you for your support!

    • @smexyNiallHoran
      @smexyNiallHoran 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know this is late but you can choose your donation amount and sign up for a monthly contribution and then cancel the monthly part so they will recieve that donation and it won't continue on. hope this helps.

  • @christinagay3354
    @christinagay3354 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love my husband. He is what I find sexy in more ways than can be limited to just physical. To sleep with anyone else would be a downgrade and I would hope he would feel the same.
    I have to wonder how many people are happily married to their best friend because you won't find greater sex than that.

    • @firstlast-ql8gn
      @firstlast-ql8gn 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Christina Gay I'm in a polyamorous Relationship with my best friend/high school sweetheart. We just celebrated 15 years a few weeks ago.

  • @emkaemusic
    @emkaemusic 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    i watched that one dudes ted talk on polyamory and now hes in my youtube time line? its a sign!

  • @sammydrew4390
    @sammydrew4390 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    To each their own. But monogamy works for me. To me, if you TRULY love someone there will be no room for another. It's not like that one person "owns you" it's just that that person is enough for you as you are to them.

  • @suk4honesty
    @suk4honesty 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    That Chris Fleming song: it's never who you want to be polyamorous who's polyamorous

  • @soccerislife6108
    @soccerislife6108 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    If you can be poly then why not? However, I'd say most people are not capable of doing it. I myself could never share my bf with someone. If I saw him with another guy I'd lose my shit. My bf feels the same about me so it works for us haha

  • @sdjslkdjlsskldjslkdjsl8262
    @sdjslkdjlsskldjslkdjsl8262 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    There's no such thing as an "open relationship."
    It's just fucking around with arbitrary nonsensical rules and boundaries projected into it. Polyamory is incompatible with the western notion of romantic love, which is a concept that was always intertwined with monogamy. The two cannot be separated.

  • @khelsei
    @khelsei 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Like you’re entitled to your opinion and it’s okay if poly relationships aren’t your cup of tea but some of the comments on here are just totally disrespectful and that’s really sad to see to be honest.

  • @serenawlk8461
    @serenawlk8461 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Polyamory is not for me personally. I hold people too tight and wouldn't be able to share them with someone else. But from a scientific point of view, humans aren't made for monogomy. Humans are not supposed to be with one person. That is more or less just a construct that we buildt up over time

  • @newtlockstone2909
    @newtlockstone2909 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The concept of polyamory is very beautiful to me and I envy those who can make it work. However, because of societal norms as well as my own possessiveness and jealousness as a person I don’t think I could ever be polyamorous. Not unless it was 100% mutual in three ways.

  • @beldinlov13
    @beldinlov13 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Being trusting and open-minded has nothing to do with that. Why can't a person accept unconditionally another whom they love? Why is there a need to add for more person(s) into the circle? Because they are greedy, seeing it's not enough to express love (along with lust, or not) with one. Period.
    In the end of day, you do you. Being greedy is not necessarily sinful when it doesn't affect others. Simply like if one feels enough eating 6 chicken wings tonight, but another wants a bucket, totally alright lol 😂

    • @beldinlov13
      @beldinlov13 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Molten Kitty as I've said in other person's comment thread, according to you (or any Poly whom I respect), what do 1) jealousy and 2) possession mean for y'all?

  • @MarilynMelendezG
    @MarilynMelendezG 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That is not for me, I have enough issues with one person let alone 2 so no, not for me, too much drama. Now an occasional 3 some once in awhile with your significant other is good as long as you say goodbye to the 3rd party lol.

  • @kenyakray2490
    @kenyakray2490 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So the word cheating is gone

  • @cherryturnip
    @cherryturnip 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This shit scares the fuck out of me. Hearing things like “I would never forgive you” and “you would be dead to me” is so discouraging.

  • @nikkilaundrie
    @nikkilaundrie 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Straight up class these people. The other stories are much better definitely not checking out these ones

  • @serialthrillerz
    @serialthrillerz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    oh no, the couple that comes third makes me still cringe so hard. even though you selected even further, they're still the worst. thinking they're so much above relationship standards while i bet they just have plain ol' hetero sex

  • @Doridantoni
    @Doridantoni 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Are the videos of all these couples already available? I would like to watch more of some couples conversations...

    • @TheSkinDeep
      @TheSkinDeep  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey! Right now, not all of these couples have been released yet. If you'd like to support our work and help us put out more videos, check out our Patreon page: www.theskindeep.com/patreon
      Which couples here sparked your interest the most?

    • @Doridantoni
      @Doridantoni 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks for the quick answer. Some couples I knew already. From the ones I didn't 0:35 and 1:18 interest me the most.

  • @lipsohlips97
    @lipsohlips97 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Does anyone know where the video for the french looking did and asian looking girl is? THEY"RE SO BEAUTIFUL! I cant find their video!!

  • @fornwith4411
    @fornwith4411 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    If you could file for tax then sure.

  • @v_niunia9295
    @v_niunia9295 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Does the couple at 1:35 have a full video?

    • @eeikochan
      @eeikochan 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I think they do...I've definitely seen them before
      *goes to check*
      Nevermind, I don't think they do.

    • @mfo1371
      @mfo1371 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I wondered the same. I've just seen snippets of them but never the full cut. I would like to see them too. I think we can find it on the The And website maybe

  • @blackamericanlesbianprofes4357
    @blackamericanlesbianprofes4357 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Polyamory isn't just having sex with multiple people. Thumbs down on this video on how it was edited. And I am attracted to women/lesbian, and Independent/Solo Parallel Polyamorous.

  • @daniellamarsam4671
    @daniellamarsam4671 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Guy at 3:21 is HELLLAAAA HOTTT!

    • @crystalcara02
      @crystalcara02 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Daniella Martinez heck yea he is! 😅

  • @stripedsweater520
    @stripedsweater520 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    omg my boy at the end of the video (3:49) from thhe date with the girl he's so cute.

  • @NdinguAnda
    @NdinguAnda 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    She is confusing owning and commitment

  • @Ilikefrogs..
    @Ilikefrogs.. 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The comments that some of these monogamous people made are terrifying. "I would leave forever," "You would be dead to me" That is messed up that they're basically threatening this person with their own sexuality. And it has nothing to do with the other person's actions. It's about their own insecurities, and their own fear that they aren't good enough.
    I bet none of those people are very good partners either. They are clearly very selfish and jealous.

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I disagree. These people just have an expectation of monogamy from their partners. There is nothing wrong or right about this. They are entitled to leave or not associate with someone who violates these expectations. It is manipulative and disrespectul to give the impression to someone that you are monogamy oriented when you are not. And yes it does have something to do with the other persons actions. You can't discount the emotions people feel as if they are not real or valid. To act like someones behavior in a relationship does not affect the other person is intellectually dishonest and immature.

    • @priscillam8903
      @priscillam8903 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      what? Are you for real? You don't have rules and boundaries on your relationship?

  • @EyeLean5280
    @EyeLean5280 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    0:34 well-known leaders of the poly community. I've met them.

  • @nigel4442
    @nigel4442 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    If they are happy, I am happy. But no way that $hit could work in my relationship...

  • @Pty1980
    @Pty1980 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    1:20 they’re so cool

  • @Fxxxxb99
    @Fxxxxb99 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    3:16 which video is this from?

  • @somethingg29
    @somethingg29 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Who's the guy at 3:20

  • @alliblackman5020
    @alliblackman5020 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I used to be very 'mine mine mine mine mine', but now I feel so free in understanding and seeking a more poly way of life. It's an honesty overdose and I need that. I need to know everything someone feels and thinks, it's the blessing and the curse of my ocd probably lol -

  • @stylecr8r
    @stylecr8r 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Attention. It's all about attention. Everyone trying to be unique. And every poly relationship I know of there is competition, like it's a pissing contest.

  • @luciamf166
    @luciamf166 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Monogamous people seem so hurt in this comment section. Nobody said they're wrong or illegitimate. The blonde woman expresses how she perceives it and why it doesn't work for her. She emphasizes a lot to show how she truly feels about a very specific situation. If you feel attacked, you might see yourself reflected in that situation and that's why you're mad. I feel like you might be overreacting.