"Ricardo lapping and sucking at felicity's mouth as If she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil" This has to be the single funniest sentence in the english lexicon😂😂😂
While the line isn't great I still kind of want there to be a real book whose worldbuilding includes people randomly finding small dragons in their boots 😅
29:02 This was submitted to the "worst opening line contest" when this single line had me more invested in what was going on than the haunted gooch. It implies a well known culture of people that are used to the mundane, the weird, and the fantastical. It makes me question what these damn city slickers moving out to the country are doing so wrong. I would 100% buy this book.
“Our young hero woke upon the day that he had come of age to receive the gift of his birthright, and so he rolled out of bed, picked up his blade, and ran it through his chest.” - Emerson Wright, 2024: He wrote as he was bored waiting for his Monday to commence.
Please write this "the chosen one didn't want the role and intentionally died" story. Like what happens now to those still dealing with whatever the chosen ones birthright was there to deal with?
My submission for the worst first sentence: The zombie wasn’t dead like it used to be, it was reanimated by magic or science or something to shamble through the undulating swamp being thankful it couldn’t smell the miasma, or it would be if it could think like it could when it was alive the first time.
I agree with Richard. We need at least a parody/funny short story from Austin. I want to read about juvenile toes buried in snow waiting to get dessert from a mildly attractive waiter.
Enjoyed this like a hound enjoys a game of tag with a porcupine, which is all fun rough-and-tumble until it becomes painful, and therefore not fun, as getting quills in the face is a very acquired taste I find myself sorely lacking still. Great video! Next with some absurd pieces of dialogue :)
That line about Helen and the eggs is actually kind of brilliant...I mean, that's a metaphysical literary conceit that would have given John Donne pause! This was great fun; you guys are great.
Great episode! I’m honestly shocked that a book on my TBR (Empire of the Vampire) made the list. Also slightly shocked (and relieved) that the book I sent you two didn’t make the cut lol
I gotta own that book about whats between stacy's legs lol. It unironically sounds really funny. Id also love to see both of you write a bad book, because you're great at writing comedically bad lines. XD
You should look for the metaphors of Jay Kristoff in Never night (He is also the Author of the Empire of the Vampire). Imagine a trilogy full of lines like this, but that is actually a serius story.
"In a realm of sheer banality, John emerged as the embodiment of dullness, a character so utterly unremarkable that even dust particles yawned in his presence. His life unfolded like a tired script, with each predictable event playing out in a lackluster fashion, as if the universe itself had succumbed to an uninspired slumber." This is actually Bad 😭
Love what you said about people knowning/appreciating the material well enough to make a great parody of it. Reminds me of the recent Star Trek Next Generation anniversary 'special' cartoons whoever is in charge of Star Trek put out. I saw only clips, but that was too much. Awful stuff. Fans could and probably have come up with much, much better.
How to know Austin wrote it: Awfully weird analogies (eggs, stick, juvenile toes),super repetitive and extra information, and probably would win the contest for the worst line ever. (Love ya)
Episode where half are good lines, half are bad lines and you jumble them up and make Richard decide which category they belong in? Also, directly contrasting good/bad opening lines and picking apart the things that determine their effectiveness might make for good conversation
Writer Austin > Writer Richard Teeter my totter > Democracy is cringe Hair < Bald "Once upon a time, there came a day where the frogs jumped not very high into the air and rain fell like water through the sky that Sir Alan Thrike climbed out of his red, white, purple, blue, and aquamarine shaded bedframe and declared to the world like a kitty cat does not do to the small brown rodent that is its prey, 'Today, I shall swim!'"
@@2ToRamble That one line was enough for me to know there's no way I'll vibe with Mark Lawrence's work. No offense to him but legitimately some of the contest line were better opening lines in my opinion
the classic masculine urge to compliment your friend but only in a way that still insults them. whole video was just u guys being like "i love how much you suck! no seriously. you are the goat of being bad at writing"
The sword of Truth is a good story. It steals a lot of ideas from other Authors, yes, but it's a fun ride. Zeddicus is a great character, the confessors an interesting concept. The mord-sith were a but cringe but still unique characters and their confusion of alliances also interesting. Richard is probably the least interesting, he is a bit vanilla. But the plots at least in the early books were fun. The series went way to long. But the same can be said for many series. The best series are usually 3 or 4 books. Rare is the series that remain fresh and interesting through 7-10 books. Jordan included.
The scowl at myself in my mirror is a good example of how its short and still doesnt respect the audiences time. "I scowl at my reflection." Done. The sticks one actually pays off because what is happening is due to something being too short and running out of time. I'd argue its length aids its imagery. Whereas the 50 shades of grey example just feels like someone padded an essay, theres no intention or purpose behind it.
20:44 It's absolutely made up since it's referencing Mass Effect's main character while being total gibberish in the terminology. Gonna say it's Richard's line. Edit: "IT WAS MEEE!!" 😂
First line of my thriller Dinner Table "The mirror mirrored Bob back at himself because he stood parallel to its reflective surface, where he saw himself staring back at him, but the re-reflection in his mind wasn’t himself but strips of savory bacon in its reflection, for the mirror mirrored a cannibal so that two well-aged cannibals stood duplicated slurping their chapped lips. "
I will carry “world’s thirstiest gerbil” with me for the rest of my life. Thank you for this gift.
😂😂
So real
"Ricardo lapping and sucking at felicity's mouth as If she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil"
This has to be the single funniest sentence in the english lexicon😂😂😂
😂😂
I wonder how well a "Fan Submitted Openings Lines" video would do, giving good critiques or praise to lines that Ramblers wrote or came up with.
While the line isn't great I still kind of want there to be a real book whose worldbuilding includes people randomly finding small dragons in their boots 😅
23:47 what in the world 😂😂😂😂
This was incredibly hilarious 😂😂
Just in time as I was sitting down to study. Thanks guys :))
🙏🙏
I love watching this channel descend into chaos
29:02 This was submitted to the "worst opening line contest" when this single line had me more invested in what was going on than the haunted gooch. It implies a well known culture of people that are used to the mundane, the weird, and the fantastical. It makes me question what these damn city slickers moving out to the country are doing so wrong.
I would 100% buy this book.
Thank you for the bottom of my heart, Ben working 13 hours per day for weeks
I needed this, and i didn’t know it before I started listening
Thank you
Calling Richard out for using laser blaster! Too freaking funny!
“Our young hero woke upon the day that he had come of age to receive the gift of his birthright, and so he rolled out of bed, picked up his blade, and ran it through his chest.”
- Emerson Wright, 2024: He wrote as he was bored waiting for his Monday to commence.
Unironically hooked me 😂😂😂😂
Please write this "the chosen one didn't want the role and intentionally died" story. Like what happens now to those still dealing with whatever the chosen ones birthright was there to deal with?
@@2ToRamble😂😂Dang it! I’m not terrible!….. but thanks
damn it the end is so interesting now a wanna read a whole book of this!!!! mission failed successfully
damn it the end is so interesting now a wanna read a whole book of this!!!! mission failed successfully
I love that you guys mixed it up and made it a guessing game. I really like the tier list videos too but this is a fun idea!
My submission for the worst first sentence: The zombie wasn’t dead like it used to be, it was reanimated by magic or science or something to shamble through the undulating swamp being thankful it couldn’t smell the miasma, or it would be if it could think like it could when it was alive the first time.
So bad, great job
You guys had way too much fun with this one 😂
Please make a video where you guys show off all of your different bookshelves in your house!
You guys should try this format with some authors on the call too, haha! Brilliant work as always
I agree with Richard. We need at least a parody/funny short story from Austin. I want to read about juvenile toes buried in snow waiting to get dessert from a mildly attractive waiter.
😁😁
Enjoyed this like a hound enjoys a game of tag with a porcupine, which is all fun rough-and-tumble until it becomes painful, and therefore not fun, as getting quills in the face is a very acquired taste I find myself sorely lacking still.
Great video! Next with some absurd pieces of dialogue :)
This is my favorite video u guys have ever posted thank u for this lol
Ahh thankya for watching!
That line about Helen and the eggs is actually kind of brilliant...I mean, that's a metaphysical literary conceit that would have given John Donne pause! This was great fun; you guys are great.
Lol! Thanks so much
Thank you from the depths of my heart for introducing me to Carlton Mellick
😂😂
Finnalyy You Uploaded😭😂
Great episode! I’m honestly shocked that a book on my TBR (Empire of the Vampire) made the list. Also slightly shocked (and relieved) that the book I sent you two didn’t make the cut lol
😁😂
I read Empire of the Vampire and it was surprisingly good!
I gotta own that book about whats between stacy's legs lol. It unironically sounds really funny. Id also love to see both of you write a bad book, because you're great at writing comedically bad lines. XD
thank you… i think 😂😂
You should look for the metaphors of Jay Kristoff in Never night (He is also the Author of the Empire of the Vampire).
Imagine a trilogy full of lines like this, but that is actually a serius story.
35:10 austin and richard holding hands
😂😂 great catch
This was great 😂
19:20 A good point. I'd agree with that, as well as many cases where the joke is rooted in harmful misinformation that's spread the more it's told.
One of your funniest episodes thus far. I will also say I preferred Austin's lines...we need a short parody story written by him.
I woke up in the morning from a deep sleep after going to bed the night before.
Carlton Mellick III also has a book called The Baby Jesus Butt Plug…😅😂
Oh man 😭
"In a realm of sheer banality, John emerged as the embodiment of dullness, a character so utterly unremarkable that even dust particles yawned in his presence. His life unfolded like a tired script, with each predictable event playing out in a lackluster fashion, as if the universe itself had succumbed to an uninspired slumber." This is actually Bad 😭
“Dust particles yawned” 😂
@@Morfeusm😂
I love it 😂
I scowled at my reflection. My reflection scowled at me. Screaming defiance as I attempted to tame my wild hair.
Carlton Mellick iii is the king of bizzaro fic 😂 I would love to see you guys read & review any of his stuff
Another W video!
Love what you said about people knowning/appreciating the material well enough to make a great parody of it. Reminds me of the recent Star Trek Next Generation anniversary 'special' cartoons whoever is in charge of Star Trek put out. I saw only clips, but that was too much. Awful stuff. Fans could and probably have come up with much, much better.
Can you guys do a video about judging books by their covers?
PLEASE check out the first line to Night Watch by Terry Pratchett. It's probably my favorite first line of all time. It's perfect.
This was hilarious loved the video.
.
.
.
However, where shadow rising?
Shadow rising is coming - looking like March 😁
How to know Austin wrote it:
Awfully weird analogies (eggs, stick, juvenile toes),super repetitive and extra information, and probably would win the contest for the worst line ever. (Love ya)
The egg one wasnt mine but you may be onto something lol
Episode where half are good lines, half are bad lines and you jumble them up and make Richard decide which category they belong in?
Also, directly contrasting good/bad opening lines and picking apart the things that determine their effectiveness might make for good conversation
My reflection scowled back at me.
Writer Austin > Writer Richard
Teeter my totter > Democracy is cringe
Hair < Bald
"Once upon a time, there came a day where the frogs jumped not very high into the air and rain fell like water through the sky that Sir Alan Thrike climbed out of his red, white, purple, blue, and aquamarine shaded bedframe and declared to the world like a kitty cat does not do to the small brown rodent that is its prey, 'Today, I shall swim!'"
Thats great lol
Ever since you guys said that god awful opening line of Red Sister was good I've have reservations about trusting your opinions on opening lines.
Ahhh damn, we love that line!
@@2ToRamble That one line was enough for me to know there's no way I'll vibe with Mark Lawrence's work. No offense to him but legitimately some of the contest line were better opening lines in my opinion
Richard line 5 is adhd thought process in a nutshell.
the classic masculine urge to compliment your friend but only in a way that still insults them. whole video was just u guys being like "i love how much you suck! no seriously. you are the goat of being bad at writing"
The sword of Truth is a good story. It steals a lot of ideas from other Authors, yes, but it's a fun ride. Zeddicus is a great character, the confessors an interesting concept. The mord-sith were a but cringe but still unique characters and their confusion of alliances also interesting. Richard is probably the least interesting, he is a bit vanilla. But the plots at least in the early books were fun. The series went way to long. But the same can be said for many series. The best series are usually 3 or 4 books. Rare is the series that remain fresh and interesting through 7-10 books. Jordan included.
The scowl at myself in my mirror is a good example of how its short and still doesnt respect the audiences time. "I scowl at my reflection." Done.
The sticks one actually pays off because what is happening is due to something being too short and running out of time. I'd argue its length aids its imagery. Whereas the 50 shades of grey example just feels like someone padded an essay, theres no intention or purpose behind it.
Yea the sentence was super short yet felt long!
"I am the sigma who skibidied all the toilets"
Oh dear god
@@2ToRamble I win.
I conspired with the government to rig Superbowl LVIII so I could watch this episode
Petition for a 2ToRamble review on the haunted vagina novel
20:44 It's absolutely made up since it's referencing Mass Effect's main character while being total gibberish in the terminology. Gonna say it's Richard's line.
Edit: "IT WAS MEEE!!" 😂
20:50 contest
Damn it
Dont know the answer, but Im guessing Richard Line 4 is actually Richard's.
Haha got it
WRITE FASTER AUSTIN !!!
We need your book ✍️🙏
🙏🙏
29:36 I’d read that!
yay (austin read project hail mary)
🫡
First line of my thriller Dinner Table
"The mirror mirrored Bob back at himself because he stood parallel to its reflective surface, where he saw himself staring back at him, but the re-reflection in his mind wasn’t himself but strips of savory bacon in its reflection, for the mirror mirrored a cannibal so that two well-aged cannibals stood duplicated slurping their chapped lips. "
Wonderfully awful, thank you for sharing
Oh...that gerbil line was just.......well....NO.
Succulent?
I legit screamed when Richard lost.................... why?
😂😂😂
Empire of the Vampire is an incredible book but you guys make it sound so bad hahaha
Richard line 4 is Richard...
As someone named Chelsey, it’s still a no for me, dawg.
I've heard these guys mispronounce "Rachmaninoff" SO many times.
Sorry 😅
You might want to learn what a run-on sentence is.