This. It's truly baffling that she would demand OP to mind his own business when she not only lied to her son, but specifically told him that OP was his father. She has no right to say that it's none of his business when SHE made it his business in the first place. Not of this would've happened had she just told him the truth in the first place. It's situations like these that honestly make me consider the possibility of letting the government control whether people should have kids or not -- especially when situations like this happen so often that future generations don't even want kids themselves. What a dunce...
OP was a lot nicer to the mom than I would have been. If she had told me to stay out of her business and blamed me for telling the kid the truth, I would have told her that if she had kept her legs together there wouldn't be any truth to tell. She wasn't even smart enough to tell him his father died, was cremated, she spread his ashes at the place where they had their first kiss, and she lost all her photos and momentos of him in a fire. There, that should cover pretty much everything. At least this way he wouldn't have gone off looking for a deadbeat dad to pay for college. 🤦♀️
With 24 she got pregnant by her 60 year old neighbor and with 42 she still works as a waitress. I think we can assume she is not the sharpest tool in the box.
@@uwetheiss970 Or just lazy. I think there was something in the story about her uncle owning the house, as it was in a nicer neighborhood, and she didn't have to pay rent. No need to take online classes or anything to improve her situation. And why she didn't give up the baby for adoption, I don't know. A closed adoption would have given the kid a better chance and given the scummy parents a better chance of the kid not finding his birth parents at all.
@@uwetheiss970 I'm not saying she's smart, but the reason is money. There are people who get money from the government because they don't make enough money to feed and clothe their kids, which is why they don't put their kids up for adoption. I don't know if that was a factor here. It seems the father was paying her child support as long as she kept his identity from the kid. She was upset that the money stopped right after the kid contacted the father. So, money was a factor in keeping the kid. And I can't tell you how many people out there, with jobs paying well above what a waitress makes, who still don't think it through before having kids and expect free child care from family and such. I'm always amazed by the number of people who just won't learn from the experiences of others.
The welfare the government gives you is not even remotely enough to cover childcare costs....also, she would have been able to save money and invest in her own future had she given the boy up for adoption and focus on herself. So money can't be the reason. She had no issues keeping a job so she just as likely could have gone to community college at 24 and get some employable skills, stayed single and took care of herself and have as much freedom as she wished. She did the right thing and took responsibility for her child, but she would have also done the right thing by working with an adoption agency and choosing a couple to take her infant...at a time when infants were and still are highly sought after by financially well off couples who could have given him financially what she and his father couldn't or wouldn't. @@rebekah.2187
Yeah think of how many innocent men have been killed caused the man that killed them found out GF/WIFE lied and to protect their AP said it was someone else
@@beverlyarcher546 She doesn't sound like the sharpest tool in the shed or having much common sense from the start though because she had the affair with and a child by a 60 yo married man...that couldn't be considered a brilliant idea in any way . She should have foreseen in the time she had to prepare for it that lying to her son that his half brother was his father would in fact set off a series of events that would eventually lead him to his real father and cause serious issues. Did she really not realize that her son even out of curiosity would eventually track down OP and learn the truth? Did she really believe that OP would or should cover for her lies ? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that DNA testing would show that OP doesn't share enough DNA with him to be his father but enough to have the same father and they are likely half siblings....just as OP had told him.
Why is it OP's responsibility to go to his father's affair partner 20 years later to clear up the fact that she lied to save her own embarrassment over her life choices?
It wasn't his responsibility, it was his choice because he really felt empathy for and was becoming emotionally tied to his much younger half brother. He saw that his half brother had suffered enough of a raw deal because of his parents choices in his life and didn't need more. OP wanted to help him salvage and make peace with his mother so he could keep at least the comfort of the one parental relationship he had always known if possible in his life .
@cisio64123 that's not what I'm addressing. OPs dad and AP seemed to think telling the brother anything at all was wrong and that OP should have brushed the kid off and settled things with his fathers affair partner before talking to the kid. It was not OPs responsibility to go to the woman who broke up his family and tell her anything, especially not after she lied and convinced the poor kid that his brother was his father. OP did right by his brother. His brother's parents thinking they had any right to control the situation between OP and his brother is ludicrous and speaks to their lack of accountability even 18 years later.
I’m really happy that OP’s brother found him. His dad may have been old and horrible but his mom was no screaming hell either. Glad he got away from both of them!
It's amazing OP's brother turned into a decent guy with a mother like he had. What kind of 24yr old sleeps with a 60yr old man🤮and vice-versa. Props to OP for stepping in and stepping up to make sure his brothers future was secure. While I think most colleges are a scam these days, hopefully he'll get a good degree and have a bright future. Congratulations to OP for getting a new brother 😊I wish them all the best❤
Help the kid find therapy and a job (both would be stabilizing), and look into getting FAFSA- it’s financial aid (not a loan) from the government; I don’t know all the criteria, just that to keep it you need to keep up a decent GPA. Sounds like this kid could manage that. But PLEASE get him therapy ASAP! He will probably be trying to process this mess for the rest of his life, so the sooner he can get help doing that the better. Good luck. And thank you for being a good human .
Op's half-brother's mother has no right to get angry at him since he wasn't the one that made the decision to get knocked up by 60 yo married man. Besides, she was the one who get him involved in "their business" as soon as she decided to use him as the "identity" of his half-brother's father. It was the half-brother who made the adult decision to seek at who he thought was his father. Since it's pretty obvious that op had no intention to maintaining a lie he didn't even know existed, he had no choice but to reveal the truth.
A bit baffled here. The kids father while a cheating d-bag DID pay child support for 18 years, the mother broke the agreement. The father has no requirement to pay for college. I know lots of young adults with parents that remain married that have to fund their own college tuition.
It was not child support and he would pay as long as he did not have to deal with the son. So that could have been many more years. Both seemed to have a disagreement over college tuition, they probably never talked about that when the child was born.
It's propoganda for colleges. Reddit always plays up going to college as being a natural and much needed next step after highschool and only terrible parents won't pay for it or the people who don't go are failures. Colleges are being abandoned by most men and women aren't going or leaving quickly because no men and queer/feminist gaslighting and lesbian sexual assault
@@dianabialaskahansen2972doesn’t matter even if it’s in the child support or whatever agreement you don’t have to pay for college… my dad got out of it even though it was in the divorce papers… the judge said it was absurd to ask my dad to help pay for my college… so my grandparents paid for his half…
@@dianabialaskahansen2972after listening to update… that was child support… doesn’t matter what you call it or why the $$ was sent…he sent money every month to help with the child…
@@sammieg8641 But it did not sound like child support, but under the table payments. Child support would have papers that OPs half-brother could have found.
The dad is horrible, but he still paid which isn't bad. And I don't blame him for not being able to college up-front. He was willing to increase the ammount per month. The right thing for thr wrong reason is still better than the wrong thing. He's a big asshole regardless. The mother has a few issues, and was crazy for a min. I'm not sure if dad would continue to pay for her silence. Brother is the OG. Brothers mom is cool too.
If she didn’t want the shame of having baby daddy same age as her dad maybe she shouldn’t have slept with him . Only thing going for her she bought him up didn’t dump him dad however should be taken for all his got . Well done op for being the only adult in the kids life hope karma gets both of them
I think they're pieces of work. OP for thinking he had some right to go demand his father take care of his kid. (Not so bad, but I generally hate his sanctimony ) The second son who can't do a loan or scholarship (also sounds sanctimonious IMO) and thinks he has a right to demand money from a stranger. Worse yet after he finds out he's been supported by him throughout his childhood. The mother just because she's a homewrecker and pointed the finger in the wrong direction. If she didn't want her son to know his father, she should've pointed him totally off the mark, cause the son IS going to defend himself and DOES know the actual sperm donor. (Would also show up as a brother in the DNA test.) She also can't blame him for that.
I actually had something similar happen to me. Back in high school my bestie was dating a girl with a single, hot mom I fancied. Nothing happened though despite my efforts. 18 years later a young woman contacted me claiming to be my daughter by said woman. Friends ex even tried to back her up saying their mom was always going to my town and spending time with me. Told her I don't know why their mom claimed that but at 16 my mom wouldn't let me get frisky with girls my own age in her house, never mind a woman her age. Sadly the mother had passed away a couple years prior so I'm not sure if "my daughter" ever got answers.
This story began terribly with a great ending. The son was obviously angry at first and his attitude was awful threatening lawsuits, etc. In the end, he grew up real fast and found his family. OP is a good man and that will rub off on the kid to let him be a great brother and uncle.
I guess it's hereditary, the old grand/pa maybe a jerk but he's quite responsible by sending monthly allowance for 18 years! He's not a shameless person either; and the young son turned out not a bad person either; He's an adult, he can only hope he'd got fatherly support, but it's not legally binding. As an adult, he has to stand on his own feet. Maybe the best thing comes out of this drama is that the two half brothers eventually united as a family; hope they can overcome any obstacles in the future.
When my kids were small the teenage girl next door became their babysitter. Pretty much a member of our family for years. Her mother was on her fourth husband. The baby sitter told me her mother refused to tell her who her father was. After she became an adult she looked up the guy her mother was married to when she got pregnant. She met the guy, introduced herself and told him she was likely his daughter. He told her she wasn't. That her mother had cheated on him while they were married. I have no problem believing that. I had already figured out why she was on her fourth husband. The babysitter was really disappointed and now in her 60's never found out who her father was. Odds are her mother didn't know either.
SAY he was horrified by how old his dad was😂😂😂. I wouldn't want anything else to do with that lying mother. Op is a good man for being there for his brother.
This story fees like another creative writing essay. Also, who in this day and age thst isn't well off doesnt expect to get college loans? I got them or didn't go to college
Nope dad was sending money just because it wasn’t court mandated doesn’t mean it won’t be seen as child support. Op doesn’t realise he just bluffed his dad.
The moment she committed fraud about you, you are involved that fraud included someone trying to actually take legal action against you. you have every right to not only be involved but to crush her world. she's probably trying to put you off of the scent so that you don't realize she is a criminal
I wouldn't help nobody. If he didn't wanna take care of him growing up wtf makes him think that man will pay for college. If he doesn't want a student loan then he doesn't want to go to college that bad
Get a good attorney & let him sue you then counter sue his mom & your dad (if you can find him) for slander & libel. If that mommydearest had told him the truth in the first place, the estrangement wouldn’t have happened. She could have spun it that the old fart had manipulated or cohered her even though that’s probably a lie.
Think about getting legal guardianship of him he doesn't need to deal with a crappy mom and a crappy dad you guys seem like a good people I got my cousin taking care of me and her aunt my aunt with my godmother and I'm okay with at 😊😊😊❤❤❤❤
This story was nothing but extortion blackmail and revenge. Tha wull never make you feel better about what has happened to you in your past. Tha comes from inside you.
She believes that Opie never should’ve told her son the truth😡 otherwise that kid would believe that 0P is his father and he’s not it’s his half brother. I feel sorry for that kid even if he was rude to begin with about college.
there is a very simple way of dealing with parents that say you owe them for raising you. it's even easier than simply letting them know that legally speaking they are required to raise their child. you just get them to put it in writing what they are owed because you're not going to pay twice. then you go to the IRS and show them everything that your parent says that you owe them and let the IRS look up their records of every single year. the parent claimed you as a dependent. that's 18 years of lying on their taxes You won't have to worry about paying them back since you won't be seeing them for a couple of decades at least
This is one of the best soap opera i have seen, i know an unplanned child is not anything to laught at. But the assine extortion attempt on the son is just not right. This is a very poor extortion attempt. Both the moronic mother and assine father are not going to get away with this attempt. OP was very smart. With the parternity years.
@@DrownedInExile Yes, maybe, just maybe you can take the test the next day...if you are really lucky but the RESULTS takes at least a week or longer so at least that part is impossible
But he's been supporting the boy for 18 years. It would have been a real challenge to decide if he even owed the mother child support and if so how much over and above what he'd already paid. I could be that he'd been sending more than the court would have ordered in the first place. And depending on the state funding usually ceases when the child is no longer a minor.
Actually the father wasn't obligated at all to take care of the second child since the mother didn't sue him for child support and before anyone says he's the father ir's his right YES I KNOW I"M JUST POINTING OUT SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE DON"T SEE
Hot take! Without knowing the amount the real dad payed every month for 18 years and him also agreeing to pay for the college but just not in one lump sum I think he did fine as the POS he his
My friend is divorced and college tuition is included as an extra to child support. Parents are not obligated to pay for college tuition. Why is this even a thing that’s expected?
I think the USA should do like a few countries instead of one parent paying child support both parents pay child support it goes into a bank account FOR THE KID since most women use the money on themselves why should they get to lazy around and not work
They use it to subsidize their life aka put a roof over their child’s head. Pay for clothes and food. That’s what the money is for not for the child to buy whatever they want. Wow some people are stupid as fuck when they try to be smart on the internet.
That poor kid sure does have losers for "parents". An old man chasing a child (don't care that she's 24) and knocking her up and a kid (again don't care she's 24) willing to spread her legs for an old man who's as old as her father. At least he has a brother who gave a crap. Although, if I was OP i would make it my mission to introduce the kid to the family and who the father is. The hell with reputation.
If the kid was so bright he would have understood that he would need a scholarship and job for college when he didn't have money to go. And especially after his mom lied and real dad refused to speak to him. It's not a parents responsibility to pay for college, it's a blessing if they can or will, but not their responsibility.
Funny thing to say. Most developed countries think that education should be free. So the responsibility to pay for university is on everyone through taxes. Same with health insurance.
@uwetheiss970 K-12 should be free, I believe. College is a different thing. I personally don't think it should be as expensive as it is, but I don't believe it should be free. We see that government cannot be trusted with our taxes or our children, and we're seeing what is coming out of our college's isn't adults with better education, work ready people. As for medical, we're all seeing that it's based on who the government thinks has value, who's a candidate for experimental trials and not on actual medical needs, so having the government and big pharma business ,insurance companies running it is detrimental to the country and the people. Our veterans are treated like garbage and they have to go to government run VA clinics and hospitals. Also 50$ for 2 Tylenol tablets is a really big problem for most citizens. The cost for medical care is so expensive that most people are forced to join the government care, or do without. As to my original comment- I know a lot of people who worked their butt dang near to death to pay for college and a lot are still paying for it today. They were poor, from poor generations of family, if they had family, if you want something, do what you need to too get it mentality. Not this, depressed, you have to pay for my higher education in full because you are responsible for me even as an adult, bs. I know- I'm definitely an odd duck in today's society 😅 🙃
@@tinajoerossignol Who sees you cant trust the gouvernment? I think you have no idea what free education and socialized healthcare really is. Meds are for example far cheaper if you cant sell them for max profit. May you should check how things work in most of europe or canada or australia or japan. The systems are not exactly the same but so far better for the people compared to the USA where millions live like in a third world country.
@uwetheiss970 so wonderful that it's working for those countries, but here it seems that corruption is to steeped for that to work anytime soon. To much betrayal from our government over the years.
Are people entitled to college tuition though? I get that he was a dead beat and he deserved crud for neglecting his kid but are people really thinking they're entitled to college tuition from their parents as young adults?
Story 1 reminds me of my mother's ex boyfriend who slept with his best friend's daughter after he died and she is in my age group, he is probably in 60's now. That was nine years ago now . And btw we have been living in happylee S C for almost 8 years . This happened when we were living in Tennessee.
Sorry but this kid doesn't want to take out student loans for school? Then I guess he really doesn't want to go to college. College tuition is a gift not a mandatory right. In wear these kids today are so entitled. Also, the dad and the mom are A. What 24y/o sleeps with a 60year old man? Yes, she's just much the blame before people come out the box saying she's a kid. No, she willingly opened her legs to him and he just as much of a jerk for cheating. I would have gone no contact as well for him pulling a stunt like that and not wanting to take responsibility for his actions.
To me ESH even op was the dad an ah yes. However once it was established he was sending money every month that should have been the end of it. What if the dad had said no and gone to court and won. Just because it wasn’t court mandated doesn’t mean the money he was sending won’t be counted as child support.
The father didn't dare challenge OP's threat by going to court because even if he won he still would have lost. He would have had to admit his past sordid behavior and his affair childs extance to his totally scandalized family and community .Given that financial support is the ONLY thing the father ever took parental responsibility for with the half brother and was totally non existent in every other way then I have to say it's not so horrible that OP evened things up a bit for his half brother in making sure he got a bit extra in that department for his education. The father at least would truly be fulfilling one part of his responsibility to him and in the process supporting his future if nothing else . OP's threat gave his father a choice to weather the storm to finally come clean and possibly make amends if he had wanted . In the end though he made the same exact decision he had before to only have a financial responsibility ...so it's really nothing new as the half brother basically said.
No parent is required to pay a childs college tuition. Sucks but true. Worst person in the story is the mother. She knew he was a married man and then lied to her son. Not to mention the dad at that point would be over 78 years old. The mother is the biggest PoS here.
The father is. He’s the one that cheated and then dumped the woman and the kid. At 60 he would know better. He shitted on every other person in the story. The woman was 24 so still under young and dumb.
NTA, op is a good person and brother through and though the whole situation. The half brother's mother is a whore and homewrecker who all in all put her son, a child, in a bad situation, and a bad life with how he was born and lying to him about his real father for a decade. She should have never slept with op dad and done what she done and said to the half brother. Just own up and tell the truth, like he said at the end, he spent 18years without a father, he wouldnt miss him. Op dad is a rotten asshole for doing that much pain to not only to op, but to his ex wife, his 'mistress' and his 2nd son. All he wanted was to keep this under the rug and away from prying eyes of his family as he would lose face? It will come out either way when he's dead. Dead and gone, no one can stop from telling who his dad is, and its funny how he ran away to his family's farm just to escape his responsibilities as both a father and adult. He was bound to be found and caught. You cant escape from the bullshet mess you create, and in this case, another child with a woman who could be your fking son's age, DIL, or fking grandchild. At least the kid will have a better future with the money sperm donor gave him. Thats probably all he's worth now, a USEFUL ATM for a child he abandoned.
If there was a child support order, in some US states, you can sue for back child support as an adult. Florida, for example, allows adult children to sue for child support from the deadbeat parent. Just a thought.
I heard and repeat,if a woman can kill her baby in the belly if she wants is the RIGHT of the man to abbandon him no strings atached,any place she cant do that? The guys has at least to pay for the child
I'm sure this will be an unpopular opinion but...i think everybody in this story sucks, except OP's mom..Dad and baby mama are cheaters. Baby mama is a liar and Both sons are entitled as crap. Dad sucks but he kept his part of the agreement, he knew he'd be a bad dad so he stayed out of the kids life, which is probably the only good thing he's ever done. Both parents are entitled to the same choices. If baby mama didn't wanna raise the kid, she had options, she chose the one she wanted, so i don't understand why people think the dad doesn't have some choices also. As far as the entitled brothers... parents paying college tuition is a luxury not everyone gets. Unless it's in a custody order specifying other requirements, after 18 you aren't entitled to crap.
S1 you can’t “make” someone pay for College, “Adult” means that. If he is serious, join the Airforce in long term enlistment, they will train in marketable fields
I hate to say this, but other than taking care of a child's basic needs. A parent has no obligation to pay for a child's education beyond high school. The OP's half-brother's mother screwed up when she tried to pass the OP off as his father.
Men cannot decide on our fatherhood as women can (e.g. women can abort or give kids in adoption), so all these stories about "men not willing to take up on their responsibilities" should be read under this context - did he really have the chance of deciding on his fatherhood?
He went raw in a healthy 24 year old woman. It was gonna happen eventually But yes. Men's say so means nothing. And 8f 8ts not discussed before hand then 8ts something both must deal with. If she lied about birth control or tampered with his to get pregnant then it's the equivalent of rape.
@@SchadenFloyd You are gaslighting the underlying issue. Women have many more options than men on deciding about their maternity. So to hold men accountable in equal terms to women, we must have the same rights on our fatherhood. Until this inequality is not corrected, women must have a much higher responsibility on parenthood. And no, I do not buy this BS of "men not stepping up on their responsibility" since we do not have the same deciding opportunity.
![[Live] : ONE 169 วันนี้!! "อนาโตลี vs อูมาร์"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IK3YZVWuFJg/mqdefault.jpg)
"You have no right to tell him the truth!"
"No, you had no right telling him a lie that involved me. I wouldn't have been involved otherwise."
This. It's truly baffling that she would demand OP to mind his own business when she not only lied to her son, but specifically told him that OP was his father. She has no right to say that it's none of his business when SHE made it his business in the first place. Not of this would've happened had she just told him the truth in the first place.
It's situations like these that honestly make me consider the possibility of letting the government control whether people should have kids or not -- especially when situations like this happen so often that future generations don't even want kids themselves. What a dunce...
OP was a lot nicer to the mom than I would have been. If she had told me to stay out of her business and blamed me for telling the kid the truth, I would have told her that if she had kept her legs together there wouldn't be any truth to tell.
She wasn't even smart enough to tell him his father died, was cremated, she spread his ashes at the place where they had their first kiss, and she lost all her photos and momentos of him in a fire. There, that should cover pretty much everything. At least this way he wouldn't have gone off looking for a deadbeat dad to pay for college. 🤦♀️
With 24 she got pregnant by her 60 year old neighbor and with 42 she still works as a waitress. I think we can assume she is not the sharpest tool in the box.
@@uwetheiss970 Or just lazy. I think there was something in the story about her uncle owning the house, as it was in a nicer neighborhood, and she didn't have to pay rent. No need to take online classes or anything to improve her situation. And why she didn't give up the baby for adoption, I don't know. A closed adoption would have given the kid a better chance and given the scummy parents a better chance of the kid not finding his birth parents at all.
@@rebekah.2187 If she was lazy she would have gone for adoption. Kids are a shitton of work. I stick with stupid.
@@uwetheiss970 I'm not saying she's smart, but the reason is money. There are people who get money from the government because they don't make enough money to feed and clothe their kids, which is why they don't put their kids up for adoption. I don't know if that was a factor here. It seems the father was paying her child support as long as she kept his identity from the kid. She was upset that the money stopped right after the kid contacted the father. So, money was a factor in keeping the kid.
And I can't tell you how many people out there, with jobs paying well above what a waitress makes, who still don't think it through before having kids and expect free child care from family and such.
I'm always amazed by the number of people who just won't learn from the experiences of others.
The welfare the government gives you is not even remotely enough to cover childcare costs....also, she would have been able to save money and invest in her own future had she given the boy up for adoption and focus on herself. So money can't be the reason. She had no issues keeping a job so she just as likely could have gone to community college at 24 and get some employable skills, stayed single and took care of herself and have as much freedom as she wished. She did the right thing and took responsibility for her child, but she would have also done the right thing by working with an adoption agency and choosing a couple to take her infant...at a time when infants were and still are highly sought after by financially well off couples who could have given him financially what she and his father couldn't or wouldn't.
@@rebekah.2187
Well this is what happens when you directly give your child a false identity for who their father is and that just happens to be a real person
i think she was expecting that a dna test would ''prove'' op to be the father as they shared some dna....
NTA
Mom built her own wedge through 18 years of lies.
Yeah think of how many innocent men have been killed caused the man that killed them found out GF/WIFE lied and to protect their AP said it was someone else
@@nilianstroy Hahaha then she don't know DNA testing as it would prove they share half DNA not full DNA
@@beverlyarcher546 She doesn't sound like the sharpest tool in the shed or having much common sense from the start though because she had the affair with and a child by a 60 yo married man...that couldn't be considered a brilliant idea in any way . She should have foreseen in the time she had to prepare for it that lying to her son that his half brother was his father would in fact set off a series of events that would eventually lead him to his real father and cause serious issues. Did she really not realize that her son even out of curiosity would eventually track down OP and learn the truth? Did she really believe that OP would or should cover for her lies ? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that DNA testing would show that OP doesn't share enough DNA with him to be his father but enough to have the same father and they are likely half siblings....just as OP had told him.
For the "dad" to offer the money and to agree to the kid to say that he's not his dad is a blessing to the kid. Best choice he has made.
If you feel someone speaking the truth about you makes you look bad, it isn't the speakers actions that are making you look bad but your own.
Wow, that woman is a bad mother. Just a bad person in general.
And an idiot it’s ok to be bad (not ok but ya know) but she is also an Idiot on top of it.
As bad as the old fart who knocked up a 20-something, torpedoed his marriage, alienated his older son and abandoned the 2nd son.
Why is it OP's responsibility to go to his father's affair partner 20 years later to clear up the fact that she lied to save her own embarrassment over her life choices?
It wasn't his responsibility, it was his choice because he really felt empathy for and was becoming emotionally tied to his much younger half brother. He saw that his half brother had suffered enough of a raw deal because of his parents choices in his life and didn't need more. OP wanted to help him salvage and make peace with his mother so he could keep at least the comfort of the one parental relationship he had always known if possible in his life .
@cisio64123 that's not what I'm addressing. OPs dad and AP seemed to think telling the brother anything at all was wrong and that OP should have brushed the kid off and settled things with his fathers affair partner before talking to the kid. It was not OPs responsibility to go to the woman who broke up his family and tell her anything, especially not after she lied and convinced the poor kid that his brother was his father. OP did right by his brother. His brother's parents thinking they had any right to control the situation between OP and his brother is ludicrous and speaks to their lack of accountability even 18 years later.
Because he's a good and kind person. ❤
Absolutely NTA. I am so happy that OP didn't hold the affair that his dad had against his brother. Both were innocent in the whole situation.
S1, the Mother lied to him his entire life! Fairly shattering experience from the only family he knew
That is a really horrible situation …
I’m really happy that OP’s brother found him. His dad may have been old and horrible but his mom was no screaming hell either. Glad he got away from both of them!
This brother is a good person. Hope everything go well. Dad is horrible.
Lying, cheating mother is worse.
@@michaelplunkett8059 .
What about that H03 homewrecker? She is saint?
Let me guess: you are a woman 😂😂
@irys24 these ho3's ain't loyal, no time for her.
"I don't know why she would want to have a 60 year old man's baby"
All I heard was Mr.Krabbs saying, "I like money"
I am glad it had a happy ending for OP and his half brother!🎉
It's amazing OP's brother turned into a decent guy with a mother like he had. What kind of 24yr old sleeps with a 60yr old man🤮and vice-versa. Props to OP for stepping in and stepping up to make sure his brothers future was secure. While I think most colleges are a scam these days, hopefully he'll get a good degree and have a bright future. Congratulations to OP for getting a new brother 😊I wish them all the best❤
Why can’t the kid fund his own college tuition? The kid feels entitled
Help the kid find therapy and a job (both would be stabilizing), and look into getting FAFSA- it’s financial aid (not a loan) from the government; I don’t know all the criteria, just that to keep it you need to keep up a decent GPA. Sounds like this kid could manage that.
But PLEASE get him therapy ASAP! He will probably be trying to process this mess for the rest of his life, so the sooner he can get help doing that the better.
Good luck. And thank you for being a good human .
The person who makes up and writes these stories is a very entertaining writer
Strange how such a nice kid came out from basically two nasty people.
Op's half-brother's mother has no right to get angry at him since he wasn't the one that made the decision to get knocked up by 60 yo married man. Besides, she was the one who get him involved in "their business" as soon as she decided to use him as the "identity" of his half-brother's father. It was the half-brother who made the adult decision to seek at who he thought was his father. Since it's pretty obvious that op had no intention to maintaining a lie he didn't even know existed, he had no choice but to reveal the truth.
Dear ole mum is a pro at dodging personal responsibility.
A bit baffled here. The kids father while a cheating d-bag DID pay child support for 18 years, the mother broke the agreement. The father has no requirement to pay for college. I know lots of young adults with parents that remain married that have to fund their own college tuition.
It was not child support and he would pay as long as he did not have to deal with the son. So that could have been many more years. Both seemed to have a disagreement over college tuition, they probably never talked about that when the child was born.
It's propoganda for colleges. Reddit always plays up going to college as being a natural and much needed next step after highschool and only terrible parents won't pay for it or the people who don't go are failures.
Colleges are being abandoned by most men and women aren't going or leaving quickly because no men and queer/feminist gaslighting and lesbian sexual assault
@@dianabialaskahansen2972doesn’t matter even if it’s in the child support or whatever agreement you don’t have to pay for college… my dad got out of it even though it was in the divorce papers… the judge said it was absurd to ask my dad to help pay for my college… so my grandparents paid for his half…
@@dianabialaskahansen2972after listening to update… that was child support… doesn’t matter what you call it or why the $$ was sent…he sent money every month to help with the child…
@@sammieg8641 But it did not sound like child support, but under the table payments. Child support would have papers that OPs half-brother could have found.
The dad is horrible, but he still paid which isn't bad. And I don't blame him for not being able to college up-front. He was willing to increase the ammount per month. The right thing for thr wrong reason is still better than the wrong thing. He's a big asshole regardless. The mother has a few issues, and was crazy for a min. I'm not sure if dad would continue to pay for her silence. Brother is the OG. Brothers mom is cool too.
I agree.
If she didn’t want the shame of having baby daddy same age as her dad maybe she shouldn’t have slept with him . Only thing going for her she bought him up didn’t dump him dad however should be taken for all his got . Well done op for being the only adult in the kids life hope karma gets both of them
3:52 I've been conditioned to expect Jerry Springer to proclaim that to thunderous applause. Thanks, Internet. XD
1:30 in, repayment?? For what??
I think they're pieces of work. OP for thinking he had some right to go demand his father take care of his kid. (Not so bad, but I generally hate his sanctimony ) The second son who can't do a loan or scholarship (also sounds sanctimonious IMO) and thinks he has a right to demand money from a stranger. Worse yet after he finds out he's been supported by him throughout his childhood. The mother just because she's a homewrecker and pointed the finger in the wrong direction. If she didn't want her son to know his father, she should've pointed him totally off the mark, cause the son IS going to defend himself and DOES know the actual sperm donor. (Would also show up as a brother in the DNA test.) She also can't blame him for that.
I actually had something similar happen to me. Back in high school my bestie was dating a girl with a single, hot mom I fancied. Nothing happened though despite my efforts. 18 years later a young woman contacted me claiming to be my daughter by said woman. Friends ex even tried to back her up saying their mom was always going to my town and spending time with me. Told her I don't know why their mom claimed that but at 16 my mom wouldn't let me get frisky with girls my own age in her house, never mind a woman her age. Sadly the mother had passed away a couple years prior so I'm not sure if "my daughter" ever got answers.
My Daughter.. so she was ur daughter????
@@sentikalalongkumer2457 I used quotation marks to indicate she was not.
What a horrible situation for that kid, but I'm glad he has OP and his family.
Screw his Dad and his AP, they suck.
This story began terribly with a great ending. The son was obviously angry at first and his attitude was awful threatening lawsuits, etc. In the end, he grew up real fast and found his family. OP is a good man and that will rub off on the kid to let him be a great brother and uncle.
I guess it's hereditary, the old grand/pa maybe a jerk but he's quite responsible by sending monthly allowance for 18 years! He's not a shameless person either; and the young son turned out not a bad person either; He's an adult, he can only hope he'd got fatherly support, but it's not legally binding. As an adult, he has to stand on his own feet. Maybe the best thing comes out of this drama is that the two half brothers eventually united as a family; hope they can overcome any obstacles in the future.
May God bless you OP and your mother. Both of you did not need to be good people in this situation but both of you are. Bless you both.
Is OP on his half brother's birth certificate as the father?
When my kids were small the teenage girl next door became their babysitter. Pretty much a member of our family for years. Her mother was on her fourth husband. The baby sitter told me her mother refused to tell her who her father was. After she became an adult she looked up the guy her mother was married to when she got pregnant. She met the guy, introduced herself and told him she was likely his daughter. He told her she wasn't. That her mother had cheated on him while they were married. I have no problem believing that. I had already figured out why she was on her fourth husband. The babysitter was really disappointed and now in her 60's never found out who her father was. Odds are her mother didn't know either.
SAY he was horrified by how old his dad was😂😂😂. I wouldn't want anything else to do with that lying mother. Op is a good man for being there for his brother.
Maybe it was good she lied to him... He got a real family that he needed.
Your father isn’t required to pay for your college tuition. I worked at McDonalds for 11 years to put myself through school and college.
As soon as the half brother is done with college, he should announce he's the son of that old fart to his fam so his image would be ruined.
This story fees like another creative writing essay. Also, who in this day and age thst isn't well off doesnt expect to get college loans? I got them or didn't go to college
You're a good brother and human being. Help him take dad to the cleaners, good on you and all the best to your brother
Nope dad was sending money just because it wasn’t court mandated doesn’t mean it won’t be seen as child support. Op doesn’t realise he just bluffed his dad.
"taking care of it", what is it ? a child, dog, cat, fish or a toy
The moment she committed fraud about you, you are involved that fraud included someone trying to actually take legal action against you. you have every right to not only be involved but to crush her world. she's probably trying to put you off of the scent so that you don't realize she is a criminal
I wouldn't help nobody. If he didn't wanna take care of him growing up wtf makes him think that man will pay for college. If he doesn't want a student loan then he doesn't want to go to college that bad
Get a good attorney & let him sue you then counter sue his mom & your dad (if you can find him) for slander & libel.
If that mommydearest had told him the truth in the first place, the estrangement wouldn’t have happened. She could have spun it that the old fart had manipulated or cohered her even though that’s probably a lie.
His father wasn’t involved in any of the nonsense that started the events of this story in the present day
Think about getting legal guardianship of him he doesn't need to deal with a crappy mom and a crappy dad you guys seem like a good people I got my cousin taking care of me and her aunt my aunt with my godmother and I'm okay with at 😊😊😊❤❤❤❤
Kid's 18, so doesn't require a guardian there.
Help. Him find a lawyer. Back child support might help.
Didn’t know she was having child support.
I would let him to take me court
This story was nothing but extortion blackmail and revenge. Tha wull never make you feel better about what has happened to you in your past. Tha comes from inside you.
She believes that Opie never should’ve told her son the truth😡 otherwise that kid would believe that 0P is his father and he’s not it’s his half brother. I feel sorry for that kid even if he was rude to begin with about college.
How was it fair to OP to have the kid believe he was his father? That's just not right at all. Who does crap like that?
Dont come for the elf on the shelf because my son is confessing 11 months of sins because he dont want no elf problems 😂😂😂🙃
there is a very simple way of dealing with parents that say you owe them for raising you. it's even easier than simply letting them know that legally speaking they are required to raise their child. you just get them to put it in writing what they are owed because you're not going to pay twice. then you go to the IRS and show them everything that your parent says that you owe them and let the IRS look up their records of every single year. the parent claimed you as a dependent. that's 18 years of lying on their taxes You won't have to worry about paying them back since you won't be seeing them for a couple of decades at least
So the Half Brother and OP have Never thought about H.B. joining the Military to pay for his Education ?
Most people don't want to do that or can't due to any disabilities/dietary needs that are difficult to handle/do in training or in the field.
I can see a future where daddydearest will need a kidney or something & demand the two sons donate. Although 80 May bee too old.
Joke of the century: women blaming herself 😂😂😂 now that's rich
Can anyone tell me who the original poster is? I tried looking it up but it's not showing up on google. I want to see if there's any further comments.
I would not pay one penny.
This is one of the best soap opera i have seen, i know an unplanned child is not anything to laught at. But the assine extortion attempt on the son is just not right.
This is a very poor extortion attempt. Both the moronic mother and assine father are not going to get away with this attempt. OP was very smart. With the parternity years.
3:50 Pat-test got arranged the very next day? You lost me there, fiction writer dropped the ball.
I think this is fiction and the nasty Dad in real life would not have coughed up the tuition money. Nothing to lose if he didn't pay.
They got a pat-test arranged in one day. That's where this fanfiction lost me.
@@DrownedInExileI thought that as well.
@@DrownedInExile Yes, maybe, just maybe you can take the test the next day...if you are really lucky but the RESULTS takes at least a week or longer so at least that part is impossible
I hope they manage to sue the father for backed child support
But he's been supporting the boy for 18 years. It would have been a real challenge to decide if he even owed the mother child support and if so how much over and above what he'd already paid. I could be that he'd been sending more than the court would have ordered in the first place. And depending on the state funding usually ceases when the child is no longer a minor.
@@dulcilass I commented before the update... I guess the outcome is pretty good... Father is still a douche though
@@naturebehindglass6512 Agree. He was a total disaster as a father to both his sons.
Actually the father wasn't obligated at all to take care of the second child since the mother didn't sue him for child support and before anyone says he's the father ir's his right YES I KNOW I"M JUST POINTING OUT SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE DON"T SEE
They'd apparently had an agreement about it there
The kid is allowed to sue for child support until he's 20.
Hot take! Without knowing the amount the real dad payed every month for 18 years and him also agreeing to pay for the college but just not in one lump sum I think he did fine as the POS he his
My friend is divorced and college tuition is included as an extra to child support.
Parents are not obligated to pay for college tuition. Why is this even a thing that’s expected?
I think the USA should do like a few countries instead of one parent paying child support both parents pay child support it goes into a bank account FOR THE KID since most women use the money on themselves why should they get to lazy around and not work
They use it to subsidize their life aka put a roof over their child’s head. Pay for clothes and food. That’s what the money is for not for the child to buy whatever they want. Wow some people are stupid as fuck when they try to be smart on the internet.
Entitlement.
I'm not done with the video yet but I'm assuming he's talking about years of (presumed) missed child support.
That poor kid sure does have losers for "parents". An old man chasing a child (don't care that she's 24) and knocking her up and a kid (again don't care she's 24) willing to spread her legs for an old man who's as old as her father.
At least he has a brother who gave a crap. Although, if I was OP i would make it my mission to introduce the kid to the family and who the father is. The hell with reputation.
Kid’s gonna need years of therapy to process this crap show.
Kids today:"I'm not investing into my own future with a personal loan, you have to risk your money on investing in my future."
Was not the point at all and not what was being expected at all.
I don't about your state but in my state you have 10years past adult hood to file charges for back child support against your own parents
If the kid was so bright he would have understood that he would need a scholarship and job for college when he didn't have money to go. And especially after his mom lied and real dad refused to speak to him. It's not a parents responsibility to pay for college, it's a blessing if they can or will, but not their responsibility.
This is propoganda to boost college admission and make college attendance and planning your it into something it isn't nt
Funny thing to say. Most developed countries think that education should be free. So the responsibility to pay for university is on everyone through taxes. Same with health insurance.
@uwetheiss970 K-12 should be free, I believe. College is a different thing. I personally don't think it should be as expensive as it is, but I don't believe it should be free. We see that government cannot be trusted with our taxes or our children, and we're seeing what is coming out of our college's isn't adults with better education, work ready people. As for medical, we're all seeing that it's based on who the government thinks has value, who's a candidate for experimental trials and not on actual medical needs, so having the government and big pharma business ,insurance companies running it is detrimental to the country and the people. Our veterans are treated like garbage and they have to go to government run VA clinics and hospitals. Also 50$ for 2 Tylenol tablets is a really big problem for most citizens. The cost for medical care is so expensive that most people are forced to join the government care, or do without.
As to my original comment- I know a lot of people who worked their butt dang near to death to pay for college and a lot are still paying for it today. They were poor, from poor generations of family, if they had family, if you want something, do what you need to too get it mentality. Not this, depressed, you have to pay for my higher education in full because you are responsible for me even as an adult, bs.
I know- I'm definitely an odd duck in today's society 😅 🙃
@@tinajoerossignol Who sees you cant trust the gouvernment? I think you have no idea what free education and socialized healthcare really is. Meds are for example far cheaper if you cant sell them for max profit. May you should check how things work in most of europe or canada or australia or japan. The systems are not exactly the same but so far better for the people compared to the USA where millions live like in a third world country.
@uwetheiss970 so wonderful that it's working for those countries, but here it seems that corruption is to steeped for that to work anytime soon. To much betrayal from our government over the years.
Are people entitled to college tuition though? I get that he was a dead beat and he deserved crud for neglecting his kid but are people really thinking they're entitled to college tuition from their parents as young adults?
Story 1 reminds me of my mother's ex boyfriend who slept with his best friend's daughter after he died and she is in my age group, he is probably in 60's now. That was nine years ago now . And btw we have been living in happylee S C for almost 8 years . This happened when we were living in Tennessee.
Sorry but this kid doesn't want to take out student loans for school? Then I guess he really doesn't want to go to college. College tuition is a gift not a mandatory right. In wear these kids today are so entitled. Also, the dad and the mom are A. What 24y/o sleeps with a 60year old man? Yes, she's just much the blame before people come out the box saying she's a kid. No, she willingly opened her legs to him and he just as much of a jerk for cheating. I would have gone no contact as well for him pulling a stunt like that and not wanting to take responsibility for his actions.
Dad still doesn’t owe you a college fund… that’s not how it works
No, but 18 years of back child support will help him.
Gross. Gross. Gross
What did the DNA test show? I'd think it should have showed a familial match not a paternal one. Are you sure that dear old dad is really the dad?
Sounds like that's exactly what it showed or OP would have addressed it in his post.
@@AngelaVEdwardsIt’s fiction.
I'm just wondering why a 24 yo would sleep with a 69 yo. Was he acting like a sugar daddy or something?
Tell him to drag you to court and be prepared for a DNA test. But being my half-brother doesn't require me to support you.
You clearly did not watch the whole video
To me ESH even op was the dad an ah yes. However once it was established he was sending money every month that should have been the end of it. What if the dad had said no and gone to court and won. Just because it wasn’t court mandated doesn’t mean the money he was sending won’t be counted as child support.
The father didn't dare challenge OP's threat by going to court because even if he won he still would have lost. He would have had to admit his past sordid behavior and his affair childs extance to his totally scandalized family and community .Given that financial support is the ONLY thing the father ever took parental responsibility for with the half brother and was totally non existent in every other way then I have to say it's not so horrible that OP evened things up a bit for his half brother in making sure he got a bit extra in that department for his education. The father at least would truly be fulfilling one part of his responsibility to him and in the process supporting his future if nothing else . OP's threat gave his father a choice to weather the storm to finally come clean and possibly make amends if he had wanted . In the end though he made the same exact decision he had before to only have a financial responsibility ...so it's really nothing new as the half brother basically said.
NEWS FLASH: You don't have to have a college education to be successful in life.
No parent is required to pay a childs college tuition. Sucks but true.
Worst person in the story is the mother. She knew he was a married man and then lied to her son.
Not to mention the dad at that point would be over 78 years old.
The mother is the biggest PoS here.
The father is. He’s the one that cheated and then dumped the woman and the kid. At 60 he would know better. He shitted on every other person in the story. The woman was 24 so still under young and dumb.
@@YeahNo woman knew he was married and at 24 knew what she was doing then lied to the son.
She is a piece of work but OPs dad also knew he was married when he cheated on his wife.
NTA, op is a good person and brother through and though the whole situation. The half brother's mother is a whore and homewrecker who all in all put her son, a child, in a bad situation, and a bad life with how he was born and lying to him about his real father for a decade. She should have never slept with op dad and done what she done and said to the half brother. Just own up and tell the truth, like he said at the end, he spent 18years without a father, he wouldnt miss him.
Op dad is a rotten asshole for doing that much pain to not only to op, but to his ex wife, his 'mistress' and his 2nd son. All he wanted was to keep this under the rug and away from prying eyes of his family as he would lose face? It will come out either way when he's dead. Dead and gone, no one can stop from telling who his dad is, and its funny how he ran away to his family's farm just to escape his responsibilities as both a father and adult. He was bound to be found and caught. You cant escape from the bullshet mess you create, and in this case, another child with a woman who could be your fking son's age, DIL, or fking grandchild.
At least the kid will have a better future with the money sperm donor gave him. Thats probably all he's worth now, a USEFUL ATM for a child he abandoned.
So far as I know, parents don't have any obligation to pay anything for their kids past high school and age 18....
If there was a child support order, in some US states, you can sue for back child support as an adult. Florida, for example, allows adult children to sue for child support from the deadbeat parent.
Just a thought.
If OPs half brother doesn't want to take out student loans then join the military, and then use the G.I. to attend school.
I heard and repeat,if a woman can kill her baby in the belly if she wants is the RIGHT of the man to abbandon him no strings atached,any place she cant do that? The guys has at least to pay for the child
I'm sure this will be an unpopular opinion but...i think everybody in this story sucks, except OP's mom..Dad and baby mama are cheaters. Baby mama is a liar and Both sons are entitled as crap. Dad sucks but he kept his part of the agreement, he knew he'd be a bad dad so he stayed out of the kids life, which is probably the only good thing he's ever done. Both parents are entitled to the same choices. If baby mama didn't wanna raise the kid, she had options, she chose the one she wanted, so i don't understand why people think the dad doesn't have some choices also. As far as the entitled brothers... parents paying college tuition is a luxury not everyone gets. Unless it's in a custody order specifying other requirements, after 18 you aren't entitled to crap.
This story is dumb and illogical.
S1 you can’t “make” someone pay for College, “Adult” means that. If he is serious, join the Airforce in long term enlistment, they will train in marketable fields
I hate to say this, but other than taking care of a child's basic needs. A parent has no obligation to pay for a child's education beyond high school.
The OP's half-brother's mother screwed up when she tried to pass the OP off as his father.
Crappy situation but the dad doesn’t owe his son a college fund. Most of us had to figure out how to pay for our own education
Op is ta the dad did what he needed and op blackmailed him
Op is not the ah. If his dad and homewrecker had told the truth, none of this would have happened. Don't cheat and don't lie.
The dad is an AH, but the kid was 18 so it wasn’t his responsibility for college and the Mom is the one who chose the money
Men cannot decide on our fatherhood as women can (e.g. women can abort or give kids in adoption), so all these stories about "men not willing to take up on their responsibilities" should be read under this context - did he really have the chance of deciding on his fatherhood?
He went raw in a healthy 24 year old woman. It was gonna happen eventually
But yes.
Men's say so means nothing. And 8f 8ts not discussed before hand then 8ts something both must deal with.
If she lied about birth control or tampered with his to get pregnant then it's the equivalent of rape.
It takes two to make a baby. Don’t want a kid? Don’t have sex.
@@SchadenFloyd This attitude is why 50% of women between the ages of 30 and 50% will die childless barren and alone.
@@SchadenFloyd This attitude is why 50% of women between the ages of 30 and 50% will die childless barren and alone.
@@SchadenFloyd You are gaslighting the underlying issue.
Women have many more options than men on deciding about their maternity. So to hold men accountable in equal terms to women, we must have the same rights on our fatherhood.
Until this inequality is not corrected, women must have a much higher responsibility on parenthood. And no, I do not buy this BS of "men not stepping up on their responsibility" since we do not have the same deciding opportunity.
As much as I want to hear this story I find it hard to because this voice is so awful!