Do you have the INFJ Gaze? 👽Or perhaps the monologuing voice? 🧙♂️Or maybe the sensitive, processing, introspective communication style? 🧚Or maybe all of them? :)
I have many depending on my mood. Monologuing when I have been quiet for too long, hibernating too long, knowledge overload inside my head ( that excites me and I want to share) and or speaking to someone who actually listens, monotone when I’m in my head/detached from the world but have to speak, character voices when feeling silly (sometimes even when I’m overwhelmed). Sometimes it bothers me that I can’t take a stand on one thought because I question and am perspectiving ( not proper grammar but I like it) the majority of my thoughts. However I’d rather be open to debating my thoughts then closed off and not grow or learn. I make up new words, most times unintentionally, and that’s fun times (well for me maybe not for the other). I can appear quite serious on the outside but it’s not so on the inside (and I’m not angry or upset!!). Ps. I am a certified body language trainer (among other things) and I think infjs are exquisite in their body language when speaking about something they are passion about. They get a passing grade!
A monologue is a voice that keeps going in one coherent direction without interruptions or twists or turns. The voice is not monotone, rather the tone slowly tends to increase or decrease. A dialoguing voice, as contrast, is one that goes back and forth and changes in rhythm.
I literally got called out by a teacher in grade school once for "talking." I was just whispering to myself to think out the options. Never forgot, lol.
I find eye contact is difficult with some people, while it's easier with others. Some people I feel like my eyes are drilling into theirs and I have to look away because I'm worried I'm making them feel uncomfortable. With some people I feel like they're staring into my soul and it's hard to meet their gaze for long.
Are you INFJ and/or autistic? I am both. How you describe the difficulty of eye contact is a lot like how many (most?) autistic people describe it. But INFJ is also just a more sensitive MBTI too, so it’s probably pretty common for INFJ, whether autistic or allistic.
As an INFJ, people often tell me how they feel like they’ve known me forever and they can tell me anything. I am always surprised at how much people are willing to tell me and I’m not trying to pull things out of them. I’ve also been told I am very reflective, contemplative, open, etc. I just went to a doctors appointment this morning and one of the staff said to me that she always looks forward to me coming into the office for my appointments because I bring cheerfulness and warmth. Go figure :-)
This is so true, I used to have this happen to me all the time when I used to ride public transportation and theER. But it’s so tiring to have random people come up and share so much information and it sucks if their energy is negative.
People tend to say I stare too hard it makes them uncomfortable to keep eye contact. I also find it very difficult to talk freely from my mind as I always am thinking about what to say next. Why is it soo difficult to explain myself?? I even get frustrated with myself a lot especially when talking to academics who can clearly see the holes in your knowledge. Those are the reasons why its difficult for me to talk without thinking of my every next word and makes my feel unsure when I speak and pause between sentences.
@@ale.rodriguez.cuevas A year later and I've realised that it was because of my lack of confidence, caring about other peoples perceptions of me and extreme imposter syndrome. I still have it but I feel a lot less pressure now and I can just be me. I can be me knowing that I can accept myself for making mistakes and laughing about it. Hopefully 5 years later, I can be 💯 confident.
Oh yes the infj stare the bane of my existence... “are you okay?” “What are you looking at? “ “You know when I first met you I thought you hated me” I have a dead blank stare that people are constantly put off by. ☹️
INFJ here. Do you ever run across and INFJ who, when talking, causes people you’re talking with to lose focus and sometimes yawn? Sometimes it’s so hard to get the words out like you said we are both lost and found as we speak. I noticed sometimes people lose their focus on our conversation and I feel embarrassed when someone I’m talking to yawns.
Obviously you're speaking on something that is not interesting to the other person... I wouldn't say this is an infj causative trait...but rather, it would happen to anyone if you haven't engaged the other person's mind.
It could be as Chantel said, but it isn’t obvious because there are other possibilities. I find that my presence (as an autistic INFJ) tends to have a calming effect on people. My husband (INTP with ADHD) often pushes and pushes when he has a hyper fixation or a problem to solve, and talking to me is grounding. He feels the signals his body is trying to tell him. So it’s not that he’s bored by me. In fact, he is listening and reflecting in the present moment with me and getting out of his busy head. Another reason someone may yawn is if you seem tired or if you yawn. As someone who is easily overwhelmed and often very tired, I know I certainly can be a lower energy to be around. People are better at social body language than they consciously realize, and our bodies may be “conversing” on a subconscious level. Another example: do you often hear a friend’s stomach growl and then yours seems to growl back (or vice versa)? Anyway, neat stuff 🤓 If you find that with some people Chantel’s theory is correct, don’t take it personally. Those people just aren’t a good fit for your conversational needs. Maybe they are your whitewater rafting, rock climbing, skydiving, adrenaline-junkie friends for exciting trips once or twice a year, and your old neighbor the retired professor can talk with you for hours about philosophy with her cats in your laps. ❤
Wandering gaze, definitely. Sometimes people think I am "spacey" or "not at home", it's not always a flattering interpretation, is it? I don't want to delude myself. But yes, definitely, when you avoid direct eye contact, it makes people wonder what exactly is going on in your head. Sometimes it is frustrating for them not to know, and it can make you appear powerful or magnetic. Usually, it's just me feeling awkward in a social interaction, or being not fully present/even bored. I also notice I do have a "storyteller" voice. Wow, what a fascinating concept. I feel like I am leading the listener, in a way. In one way, I am telling myself the story of whatever we are talking about, and I am drawing the listener in with me. But also, I have this integrity which makes me not want to influence others to a large extent. I think I use this trait just to ensure that the interaction goes well, and that the listener comes away with the feeling that I am someone who is willing to do the work to communicate honestly and directly, with whatever best information I currently have to hand.
I was just thinking about how I feel like information intake for me is a process and that I do it differently than others. I find that others don't really get that or that it's an irritation at times. That is very hard for me because I hate conflict but I don't know how else to take it in. I have to make connections with the information to feel that I understand it where others can just accept it as is without pondering on it. I have been working on realizing there is nothing wrong with me but that I do want to try to understand quicker or with more organization.
I do notice that often when someone like my boss is trying to get facts from me I find this very difficult, I tend to say "facts" not completely accurately, just so I can get the main gist across and I get corrected a lot/seem vague.
Me, an Infj and some other guy in my class, an intj, both tilt our heads slowly first to one side, then another occationaly when we try to understand something in class. You think this is an introverted intuition thing, or just a consequence?
INFJs eyes are like snails' tentacles. We gently examine with our eyes to see if things and ppl are safe enough. We use our tentacles to test situations.
I'm often not taken seriously although I put a lot of effort into my words and always try to be truthful and helpful and cooperative and it is bugging me so much!
Permanently processing and value...yes. I’m told I’m a great listener...ha ha mouth open true. Appear to be calm most the time except when outside stuff is overwhelming me and I loose all focus! These are agreeable thoughts about body language and type and appropriate but some people are borderline testing and they are a More of a mosh mash too. I call them well rounded people and they have an advantage really depending on their circumstance they can choose what type to be more like then. As usual....everything can be complicated!
Great video! Everything you said was spot on for me. What I have noticed the most about infjs is the movement of our eyes. We look up while we are talking, at times it seems like we are trying to read something on the back of our eyelids. :)
Please trust your brilliance every moment of your life... Your observation is vast deep all encompassing intelligent and unbelievably accurate...... Its jaw dropping and stunning...
I think yes, the meaning of every word we say is very important. What's funny is, choosing our words so carefully actually makes them mean more! Saying something with certainty does not mean it is correct or true. I on the other hand am an unusual infj I guess, I have no problem speaking with authority, as long as I choose my words such that I say nothing that is not objectively true, and nothing that I do not mean truly.
Thank you for this great video! There is so much information, very helpful. I am using some of this information in my writing for my characters. I myself am an INFJ and could identify with most of what you said. A lot of people often perceive me as smart, or like I know what I am doing (which is not always the case) but I guess I look that way. I get easily overwhelmed by too much input coming in. I like how you described that as trying to find a place to put it all in your head. Eye contact was difficult for me when I was younger, and now I still have trouble holding a gaze unless it is someone I am close to and used to. I do tend to move my eyes around when talking, and I definitely try to make all my words count and make sure I am being sensitive to those around me. I do find that I tend to mirror people a bit. I adjust my style to the person I am talking to. And I do have the monologuing voice lol. I have to work to animate it in my videos.
Love your video. My friend knows that I don't make quick decisions,that I have to ponder everything and it all has to make sense to me. I also get overwhelmed by information (probably because my brain is already busy). Thanks so much & happy to find you.❤
I can identify with all that you say. Gazing into the distance as though I can hear or see something. Talking with my hands. weighing my words. I could go on. Thank you.
Interesting... The soul examination gaze: More than one occurrence of another appearing to be paralyzed physically, with eyes watering, face flushing, and seemingly unable to speak. No exaggeration here. I was simply looking into their eyes! Almost paranormal events.
It's interesting that you talk about trying to make room for information when forced to use Se as an infj because as an Enfp when I'm forced to use Si it's like being confronted with a warehouse full of boxes which contain the information I'm looking for (ie who I am, what I'm doing, where I've come from and where I'm heading) But all the boxes are sealed and unlabelled and I have no idea where to even start looking so I just panic and go blank or come up with something not grounded in any reality
I'm a person with a half half comment onto this video... I've taken MBTI tests online (which us partly may be not accurate or was actually accurate at all... And 4 of these results are INFJ and the other 3 is INFP... Like I end up in between and now I'm kinda confused about myself actually... I somehow relate to INFJ on how drifty our eye movements... How we see through people, how we predict some events... How we get overwhelmed by the surrounding experience outside our focus . Or on how we focus on a certain task... How we pick our words when talking... How open ended we are... BUT I kinda relate to INFP too... I kinda procrastinate sometimes... Mostly if its not urgent... I generate ideas on a very last minute... I'm a person who's been relied to when we met a fork road or dead end... I'm not organized thinker... But i somehow love to generate rules and organization to each things that come my way and classify and segregate some of them on my own terms And i don't know why but maybe I'm a mix of the two or i am just confused about which i really am... I'm good at pointing loop holes and list them out immediately or supplement counter points to drift away from those risks... Definitely very space headed... Which means... My mind oftenly drift off to neverland or something... I'm a good listener, i somehow adapt to new personalities and make way to craft ones for me to somewhat connect to people if needed... But not a good communicator tho... 😩 Im really confused if I'm infp or an infj.... My voice is 60% monotonous most of the time... Which is why i have a tiny identity crisis here... As you can read... It is evident that mind is in a pure chaos now... I just hope if you could give me helpful advice in this matter since i want to get serious on my self discovery to keep myself busy... In advance if I'll recieve any helpful reply on this comment will greatly be appreciated... Ps. Please excuse my grammar and spelling since english is not my mother tongue... Thank you.
THX LV ❤️ YES I'VE GOT THAT GAZE, STARE! I RELY ON IT USUALLY WHEN I'M NOT IN A CONVERSATION. IT'S EASIER WHEN I DON'T FEEL OVERWHELMED AROUND OTHERS. I GET BORED SOMETIMES, IT'S JUST OTHER WAYS TO TRAVEL & MOVE, YEP. IT HAS IT'S ADVANTAGE'S. PEOPLE TEND TO ALWAYS ASSUME THAT THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, & TAKE ME FOR GRANTED. & FEEL I CAN'T LET MY GAURD DOWN. KINDNESS, WEAKNESS SITUATION... UKNOWWW! I CONSIDER THIS A CHALLENGE, I LOVE A GOOD CHALLENGE. 😇 THEY LIKE TO STUDY MY TYPE, INFJ/ FP, VERY UNPREDICTABLE W BOUNDARIES... WINNING 😇 FINALLY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT💯
It sounds like you are explaining my INFP experience, exactly. I just studied a lot from the channel Cognitive Personality Theory, and the information there finally ended my INFP/ INFJ confusion. So this is really confusing, again.
I actually kind of agree with you. Some of the points are reminiscent of my truly true infp daughter...while some resonate with myself ...I type as INFJ-. Always have no matter what phase I am in life etc. Yet I always doubt that I am. And sometimes Play around with the idea of being isfp or infp. .. .probably just because they have traits I admire. I am rambling.
Just started bartending and this is very helpful to consider, thank youu. I do get overwhelmed at first when groups of rowdy people come in different directions and I'm taking in the information, or when I'm expected to entertain someone. When I can focus in on someone, that feels better!
@@ErikThor Thank you for asking, it can be very draining, especially because I go after working a desk job in the morning so my head is filled and not wanting to take in anymore information. I usually dread going but once customers come in and I get in the flow I usually end up enjoying myself! It's funny though because I've been told many times when I've just visited bars in the past that I look just awkward and like I don't want to be there, which is true.😁 Luckily this is just a short term side gig to save up some money. But I do think it's interesting to reflect on that flow you described in the way we take in information. Usually I give people space to open up or ask me questions when they arrive and I gage whether or not they want to talk. If they don't I work on restocking etc, (but not too intently, want to still look approachable). I don't do so well holding small talk but manage and usually I end up going into longer conversations with people and est. a sense of trust. Then I feel energized speaking to those people when they return. I do feel that people see me contemplating a lot and they tend to ask me questions wanting to know more about me/what I'm thinking. I feel it's easier for me to have them ask then to just start talking about myself. Also, I like it when we're busy because I find it easier to have short and sweet interactions.
Yes to what you said but there is an exception to my normal stare right through you or eyes leading my head, I do master using the eyes as a covert communication tool. I don’t preplan it. I just don’t stop myself from the spontaneous reaction. At just the right time when in the presence of a group, I know when to allow myself to go ahead and look directly into ONE person’s eyes. It coveys to that one person “did you hear that?” “Did you see that?” “I bet you are thinking what I am thinking”, or “ this person speaking is lying”. I’m not obvious. I’m certain I am still simultaneously reflecting my gentleness. That one brief intimate eye contact at just the right time almost always gains me an ally. Is it sneaky or am I just allowing my sort of superpower to read people to become weaponized. Idk. Sometimes that person later becomes the rebel voice that I am too chicken to be outwardly (in the workplace, for instance).They create the drama. It is not a sport or game. I take great care to not do that even accidentally most of the time. It is something I do when my read on things tells me there is potential danger coming. Again, most often in the workplace, it is a pre-emptive defensive tactic. I would not do that just to make someone disliked. But after 37 years in the corporate workforce, I can spot trouble. It is also nice to pick up on a bond with someone. At work, words are dangerous. They can run through the gossip mill or you could be betrayed for an observation you carelessly shared. But no one can run to a boss or a rival and say I ‘looked’ at them. Yes, I’m a chicken at times. I am also utterly fearless other times.
I feel you are an INFP. I am an INFJ and I love INFPs. I am really focused and almost every INFJ I have ever known is focused. INFP is the dreamer / Storyteller. People think we are very smart , but they misunderstand our dream/ vision.
Heba Gadallah I like where you are coming from in saying this. I have admitted to having a very weak J development, so I understand other INFJs may be confused by this, but I have too much focus and care in what I do and am much more proactive than any other INFP you encounter.
I do have a lot of fluid hand movements. 😂 And all of the other things. Resonates. Good job as always. (Yes I'm commenting many years later) I really resonated with the part on feeling full while absorbing information. I am a student (again) and taking my next level of registered massage therapy so I can take my.board exams...this is a heavy Se field when it comes to the clinical portion of it (I Excell at the spiritual/relaxation emotional aspects) ... When in class, and taking on the lecture, I honestly feel like my brain is going to implode. It's like I can feel pressure literally in my body. I generally cry 1-2x per lecture as well 😂 I am processing, and understanding, but its not my natural mode of information processing.
I started to pay attention to how I "read' people's body language. And I noticed that when I'm talking with someone, I 'm paying attention on how the person is breathing. When they take a breath, how the take that breath. I don't know what I'm getting from it but I do. -:/
Wow when you started to talk about how we speak like we are lost and we are never certain when we talk! Omg yes! You finally worded this! I’ve been trying to understand how I think and when I talk how I collect my thoughts to say what I say and honestly I think I don’t do that it just happens like I just talk... but that’s scary as hell! How can I speak so well and not even be like thinking omg it’s too much!
On the stare. I have no idea what my facial expressions look like. I've had people ask me "are you alright?" Or "is everything ok?". I never understood why people ask me that until i found out about the INFJ stare. I'm probably not so much overwhelmed, just deeply contemplating. Emotionally there's no problem, but to others it sends a mixed messages. It might not even have anything to do with the other person. Something just triggered me to contemplate something. My facial expressions must be ugly because people usually ask me if I'm ok. Not if I'm distracted.
You remind me of Chris in High School. Everyone hated him. Once the one of the tough guys was picking on him. He tap Chris on his shoulder with "You stupid F" Chris side slapped him blood came out of his ear then the tough guy said "Stop".
Now you're focusing too much on tendencies and behaviour and appearances than what's inside, N i can also be something short but packed with meaning, can't it? :)
@@ErikThor Not everything is able to be condensed into a simple witticism. Perhaps it needs a nuanced response for discussion, as an all encompassing statement has not been reached, or the subject is just far too complex for such a thing within the constraints of our current language. Introverted intuition analyzes patterns and systems. Some activities within these systems may not be directly defined in words, but rather known as fluid vagueries. This can be frustrating for the INFJ in communication, particularly in early years of development. Later on, with development of introverted thinking, an INFJ can deconstruct these systems in their head with a more accurate and robust vocabulary. This can be a relief, and therapeutic in a way, particularly if it is a long, well thought out, objective response seen from numerous angles that brings value to those who have the attention span to read.
@@Malovane77 Don't get me wrong, I think long deep conversations are the best. These days, me and my friends will often send each others 5-10 minute long voice messages. It's a nice thing to listen through.
Something confusing me here, you talk about introverted feeling, while I read and heard so many explanations of infj type, that infj have extroverted feelings and then introverted judging , and that typology goes alternating... so, something seems off.. whether in all those people s explanations or yours
I worked with an approach which focused on identifying the 1st and 6th function of a person at the time of making this video. I have since stopped doing this as it was confusing for people 😄
12.49... Yep. A girl I met the first time a week ago was FOR SURE picking up on that, she seemed rather intuitive too, but not sure if that was a psychological knowing of intuition or "spiritual" in her case, was very.. intimidating at least, when processing the -Se-heavy surrounding at the same time, being in the city. Was intense, but she found and mentioned my depth and heartful energy if so to say, so .. yeah for sure, always learning and processing WHILE speaking.
I find this video just repeating cliches and stereotypes without any valuable informations and don't really think infj would do 20 mins of "nothing". As much as I understand there is not much "new" to add to the topic I've seen several videos talking how specific types tends to move different parts of face muscles or smile differently, psychological approach to topics and many others, this one is just let's fill out 20 minutes with empty space..
RaZziaN1 the thinking type tend to smile the same for every still shot photo and yes it looks placed on smile not spontaneous or in reaction to some thought or visual. That’s as far as my for sure use of body language interpretation of a person’s type. I think someone who is very good at these designations would certainly gain enough skill to characterize the body language per type. Another thing is some people test borderline on these tests and I think that’s a good thing...a well rounded type so their body language will be a mishmash
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Do you have the INFJ Gaze? 👽Or perhaps the monologuing voice? 🧙♂️Or maybe the sensitive, processing, introspective communication style? 🧚Or maybe all of them? :)
Erik, do you mean "monotoned" voice? I just don't understand "monologue voice." Thanks!
I have many depending on my mood. Monologuing when I have been quiet for too long, hibernating too long, knowledge overload inside my head ( that excites me and I want to share) and or speaking to someone who actually listens, monotone when I’m in my head/detached from the world but have to speak, character voices when feeling silly (sometimes even when I’m overwhelmed). Sometimes it bothers me that I can’t take a stand on one thought because I question and am perspectiving ( not proper grammar but I like it) the majority of my thoughts. However I’d rather be open to debating my thoughts then closed off and not grow or learn.
I make up new words, most times unintentionally, and that’s fun times (well for me maybe not for the other).
I can appear quite serious on the outside but it’s not so on the inside (and I’m not angry or upset!!).
Ps. I am a certified body language trainer (among other things) and I think infjs are exquisite in their body language when speaking about something they are passion about. They get a passing grade!
A monologue is a voice that keeps going in one coherent direction without interruptions or twists or turns. The voice is not monotone, rather the tone slowly tends to increase or decrease. A dialoguing voice, as contrast, is one that goes back and forth and changes in rhythm.
Thanks for the explanation; learned something new today!
Erik, if you ever come across a live example, please share it. I'm still having trouble imagining exactly how a monologue voice sounds. Thx!
Poor INFJ being accused of cheating in tests when actually just looking around thinking
Ha! I used to worry about that!
Yess that was a big issue of mine 😂
I literally got called out by a teacher in grade school once for "talking." I was just whispering to myself to think out the options. Never forgot, lol.
Yes, I looked around like a manic when I couldn't remember what I studied but I figured looking at the ceiling was best lol
Once someone said, who are you talking to, I didn't realize I was whispering out loud.
I find eye contact is difficult with some people, while it's easier with others. Some people I feel like my eyes are drilling into theirs and I have to look away because I'm worried I'm making them feel uncomfortable. With some people I feel like they're staring into my soul and it's hard to meet their gaze for long.
Are you INFJ and/or autistic? I am both. How you describe the difficulty of eye contact is a lot like how many (most?) autistic people describe it. But INFJ is also just a more sensitive MBTI too, so it’s probably pretty common for INFJ, whether autistic or allistic.
As an INFJ, people often tell me how they feel like they’ve known me forever and they can tell me anything. I am always surprised at how much people are willing to tell me and I’m not trying to pull things out of them. I’ve also been told I am very reflective, contemplative, open, etc. I just went to a doctors appointment this morning and one of the staff said to me that she always looks forward to me coming into the office for my appointments because I bring cheerfulness and warmth. Go figure :-)
Are you a Pisces?
NousSupreme 777 haha missed it by only 7 days 💦
@@LinYouToo I'm confused
NousSupreme 777 Aquarius
This is so true, I used to have this happen to me all the time when I used to ride public transportation and theER. But it’s so tiring to have random people come up and share so much information and it sucks if their energy is negative.
Someone told me that I look like the kind of person you can discuss your constipation with.
😂🤣
hahahha what???
That's weirdly flattering.
OMG, yesss! 😁😁 Excellent comment!
Oh we are.
People tend to say I stare too hard it makes them uncomfortable to keep eye contact. I also find it very difficult to talk freely from my mind as I always am thinking about what to say next. Why is it soo difficult to explain myself?? I even get frustrated with myself a lot especially when talking to academics who can clearly see the holes in your knowledge. Those are the reasons why its difficult for me to talk without thinking of my every next word and makes my feel unsure when I speak and pause between sentences.
Schrödinger's Cat yes yes yes to everything you said.
I completely agree with you, it happens to me a lot and being in an academic enviroment doesn´t help at all!!!
@@jennifersantiago8747 glad im not the one :)
OMG... I am the same, but for years I thought that I had some kind of problem forming sentences 🤣🙈
@@ale.rodriguez.cuevas A year later and I've realised that it was because of my lack of confidence, caring about other peoples perceptions of me and extreme imposter syndrome. I still have it but I feel a lot less pressure now and I can just be me. I can be me knowing that I can accept myself for making mistakes and laughing about it. Hopefully 5 years later, I can be 💯 confident.
Oh yes the infj stare the bane of my existence...
“are you okay?”
“What are you looking at? “
“You know when I first met you I thought you hated me”
I have a dead blank stare that people are constantly put off by. ☹️
I particularly like the INFJ stare. It's nice to feel seen once in awhile.
If that's you in your pfp you've got a nice stare.
I have the same problem. INFJ here.
INFJ here. Do you ever run across and INFJ who, when talking, causes people you’re talking with to lose focus and sometimes yawn? Sometimes it’s so hard to get the words out like you said we are both lost and found as we speak. I noticed sometimes people lose their focus on our conversation and I feel embarrassed when someone I’m talking to yawns.
Obviously you're speaking on something that is not interesting to the other person... I wouldn't say this is an infj causative trait...but rather, it would happen to anyone if you haven't engaged the other person's mind.
It could be as Chantel said, but it isn’t obvious because there are other possibilities.
I find that my presence (as an autistic INFJ) tends to have a calming effect on people. My husband (INTP with ADHD) often pushes and pushes when he has a hyper fixation or a problem to solve, and talking to me is grounding. He feels the signals his body is trying to tell him. So it’s not that he’s bored by me. In fact, he is listening and reflecting in the present moment with me and getting out of his busy head.
Another reason someone may yawn is if you seem tired or if you yawn. As someone who is easily overwhelmed and often very tired, I know I certainly can be a lower energy to be around. People are better at social body language than they consciously realize, and our bodies may be “conversing” on a subconscious level. Another example: do you often hear a friend’s stomach growl and then yours seems to growl back (or vice versa)?
Anyway, neat stuff 🤓 If you find that with some people Chantel’s theory is correct, don’t take it personally. Those people just aren’t a good fit for your conversational needs. Maybe they are your whitewater rafting, rock climbing, skydiving, adrenaline-junkie friends for exciting trips once or twice a year, and your old neighbor the retired professor can talk with you for hours about philosophy with her cats in your laps. ❤
Wandering gaze, definitely. Sometimes people think I am "spacey" or "not at home", it's not always a flattering interpretation, is it? I don't want to delude myself. But yes, definitely, when you avoid direct eye contact, it makes people wonder what exactly is going on in your head. Sometimes it is frustrating for them not to know, and it can make you appear powerful or magnetic. Usually, it's just me feeling awkward in a social interaction, or being not fully present/even bored.
I also notice I do have a "storyteller" voice. Wow, what a fascinating concept. I feel like I am leading the listener, in a way. In one way, I am telling myself the story of whatever we are talking about, and I am drawing the listener in with me. But also, I have this integrity which makes me not want to influence others to a large extent. I think I use this trait just to ensure that the interaction goes well, and that the listener comes away with the feeling that I am someone who is willing to do the work to communicate honestly and directly, with whatever best information I currently have to hand.
I was just thinking about how I feel like information intake for me is a process and that I do it differently than others. I find that others don't really get that or that it's an irritation at times. That is very hard for me because I hate conflict but I don't know how else to take it in. I have to make connections with the information to feel that I understand it where others can just accept it as is without pondering on it. I have been working on realizing there is nothing wrong with me but that I do want to try to understand quicker or with more organization.
I've always been told that there's something about my eyes ... something original. Although my eyes are just dark brown 😂
Same! Right!? 😅
I do notice that often when someone like my boss is trying to get facts from me I find this very difficult, I tend to say "facts" not completely accurately, just so I can get the main gist across and I get corrected a lot/seem vague.
Me, an Infj and some other guy in my class, an
intj, both tilt our heads slowly first to one side, then another occationaly when we try to understand something in class. You think this is an introverted intuition thing, or just a consequence?
INFJs eyes are like snails' tentacles. We gently examine with our eyes to see if things and ppl are safe enough. We use our tentacles to test situations.
Yes!
I'm often not taken seriously although I put a lot of effort into my words and always try to be truthful and helpful and cooperative and it is bugging me so much!
Permanently processing and value...yes. I’m told I’m a great listener...ha ha mouth open true. Appear to be calm most the time except when outside stuff is overwhelming me and I loose all focus! These are agreeable thoughts about body language and type and appropriate but some people are borderline testing and they are a
More of a mosh mash too. I call them well rounded people and they have an advantage really depending on their circumstance they can choose what type to be more like then. As usual....everything can be complicated!
Great video! Everything you said was spot on for me. What I have noticed the most about infjs is the movement of our eyes. We look up while we are talking, at times it seems like we are trying to read something on the back of our eyelids. :)
Please trust your brilliance every moment of your life... Your observation is vast deep all encompassing intelligent and unbelievably accurate...... Its jaw dropping and stunning...
I think yes, the meaning of every word we say is very important.
What's funny is, choosing our words so carefully actually makes them mean more! Saying something with certainty does not mean it is correct or true.
I on the other hand am an unusual infj I guess, I have no problem speaking with authority, as long as I choose my words such that I say nothing that is not objectively true, and nothing that I do not mean truly.
Eye wandering got me! 😂
Thank you for this great video! There is so much information, very helpful. I am using some of this information in my writing for my characters. I myself am an INFJ and could identify with most of what you said. A lot of people often perceive me as smart, or like I know what I am doing (which is not always the case) but I guess I look that way. I get easily overwhelmed by too much input coming in. I like how you described that as trying to find a place to put it all in your head. Eye contact was difficult for me when I was younger, and now I still have trouble holding a gaze unless it is someone I am close to and used to. I do tend to move my eyes around when talking, and I definitely try to make all my words count and make sure I am being sensitive to those around me. I do find that I tend to mirror people a bit. I adjust my style to the person I am talking to. And I do have the monologuing voice lol. I have to work to animate it in my videos.
Love your video. My friend knows that I don't make quick decisions,that I have to ponder everything and it all has to make sense to me. I also get overwhelmed by information (probably because my brain is already busy). Thanks so much & happy to find you.❤
My you mastered it, congratulations! Love it
I can identify with all that you say. Gazing into the distance as though I can hear or see something. Talking with my hands. weighing my words. I could go on. Thank you.
I think we feel INFj but eyes are also one of our senses, so when someone say "I see you" it is not only eyes ...it is more deep atom scanning
Interesting... The soul examination gaze: More than one occurrence of another appearing to be paralyzed physically, with eyes watering, face flushing, and seemingly unable to speak. No exaggeration here. I was simply looking into their eyes! Almost paranormal events.
Not sure about some of it, but a work friend always used to say I look like I had a secret, that and that I think and worry too much.😆
😄😄😄😄 I'm infj and this is funny to see someone articulate something about me that is so true!! I love this! Ty💕
It's interesting that you talk about trying to make room for information when forced to use Se as an infj because as an Enfp when I'm forced to use Si it's like being confronted with a warehouse full of boxes which contain the information I'm looking for (ie who I am, what I'm doing, where I've come from and where I'm heading) But all the boxes are sealed and unlabelled and I have no idea where to even start looking so I just panic and go blank or come up with something not grounded in any reality
I'm a person with a half half comment onto this video...
I've taken MBTI tests online (which us partly may be not accurate or was actually accurate at all...
And 4 of these results are INFJ and the other 3 is INFP...
Like I end up in between and now I'm kinda confused about myself actually...
I somehow relate to INFJ on how drifty our eye movements... How we see through people, how we predict some events... How we get overwhelmed by the surrounding experience outside our focus . Or on how we focus on a certain task... How we pick our words when talking... How open ended we are...
BUT
I kinda relate to INFP too... I kinda procrastinate sometimes... Mostly if its not urgent... I generate ideas on a very last minute... I'm a person who's been relied to when we met a fork road or dead end... I'm not organized thinker... But i somehow love to generate rules and organization to each things that come my way and classify and segregate some of them on my own terms
And i don't know why but maybe I'm a mix of the two or i am just confused about which i really am...
I'm good at pointing loop holes and list them out immediately or supplement counter points to drift away from those risks...
Definitely very space headed... Which means... My mind oftenly drift off to neverland or something...
I'm a good listener, i somehow adapt to new personalities and make way to craft ones for me to somewhat connect to people if needed... But not a good communicator tho...
😩 Im really confused if I'm infp or an infj....
My voice is 60% monotonous most of the time...
Which is why i have a tiny identity crisis here...
As you can read... It is evident that mind is in a pure chaos now...
I just hope if you could give me helpful advice in this matter since i want to get serious on my self discovery to keep myself busy...
In advance if I'll recieve any helpful reply on this comment will greatly be appreciated...
Ps. Please excuse my grammar and spelling since english is not my mother tongue... Thank you.
Isnt it funny how careful we are but our expression of our words can make people believe the opposite?
THX LV ❤️
YES I'VE GOT THAT GAZE, STARE! I RELY ON IT USUALLY WHEN I'M NOT IN A CONVERSATION. IT'S EASIER WHEN I DON'T FEEL OVERWHELMED AROUND OTHERS.
I GET BORED SOMETIMES, IT'S JUST OTHER WAYS TO TRAVEL & MOVE, YEP. IT HAS IT'S ADVANTAGE'S.
PEOPLE TEND TO ALWAYS ASSUME THAT THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, & TAKE ME FOR GRANTED. & FEEL I CAN'T LET MY GAURD DOWN. KINDNESS, WEAKNESS SITUATION...
UKNOWWW!
I CONSIDER THIS A CHALLENGE, I LOVE A GOOD CHALLENGE. 😇 THEY LIKE TO STUDY MY TYPE, INFJ/ FP, VERY UNPREDICTABLE W BOUNDARIES... WINNING 😇
FINALLY.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT💯
Yes!! We speak on things as we still are philosophizing it.
It sounds like you are explaining my INFP experience, exactly. I just studied a lot from the channel Cognitive Personality Theory, and the information there finally ended my INFP/ INFJ confusion. So this is really confusing, again.
I actually kind of agree with you. Some of the points are reminiscent of my truly true infp daughter...while some resonate with myself ...I type as INFJ-. Always have no matter what phase I am in life etc.
Yet I always doubt that I am. And sometimes Play around with the idea of being isfp or infp.
.. .probably just because they have traits I admire.
I am rambling.
yes, sometimes it's just word soup, people say that I am easy to talk to and that I seem to care and understand.
Just started bartending and this is very helpful to consider, thank youu. I do get overwhelmed at first when groups of rowdy people come in different directions and I'm taking in the information, or when I'm expected to entertain someone. When I can focus in on someone, that feels better!
wow, what a job for an infj, how is it for you so far? :)
@@ErikThor Thank you for asking, it can be very draining, especially because I go after working a desk job in the morning so my head is filled and not wanting to take in anymore information. I usually dread going but once customers come in and I get in the flow I usually end up enjoying myself! It's funny though because I've been told many times when I've just visited bars in the past that I look just awkward and like I don't want to be there, which is true.😁 Luckily this is just a short term side gig to save up some money. But I do think it's interesting to reflect on that flow you described in the way we take in information. Usually I give people space to open up or ask me questions when they arrive and I gage whether or not they want to talk. If they don't I work on restocking etc, (but not too intently, want to still look approachable). I don't do so well holding small talk but manage and usually I end up going into longer conversations with people and est. a sense of trust. Then I feel energized speaking to those people when they return. I do feel that people see me contemplating a lot and they tend to ask me questions wanting to know more about me/what I'm thinking. I feel it's easier for me to have them ask then to just start talking about myself. Also, I like it when we're busy because I find it easier to have short and sweet interactions.
Got me trigggered with that Benedict photo, his facial bones are so intresting.
Hi, Eric. I am an female entp. I am in loving with a mature infj. He is an angle the god has created for me.😊
Yes to what you said but there is an exception to my normal stare right through you or eyes leading my head, I do master using the eyes as a covert communication tool. I don’t preplan it. I just don’t stop myself from the spontaneous reaction. At just the right time when in the presence of a group, I know when to allow myself to go ahead and look directly into ONE person’s eyes. It coveys to that one person “did you hear that?” “Did you see that?” “I bet you are thinking what I am thinking”, or “ this person speaking is lying”. I’m not obvious. I’m certain I am still simultaneously reflecting my gentleness. That one brief intimate eye contact at just the right time almost always gains me an ally. Is it sneaky or am I just allowing my sort of superpower to read people to become weaponized. Idk. Sometimes that person later becomes the rebel voice that I am too chicken to be outwardly (in the workplace, for instance).They create the drama. It is not a sport or game. I take great care to not do that even accidentally most of the time. It is something I do when my read on things tells me there is potential danger coming. Again, most often in the workplace, it is a pre-emptive defensive tactic. I would not do that just to make someone disliked. But after 37 years in the corporate workforce, I can spot trouble. It is also nice to pick up on a bond with someone.
At work, words are dangerous. They can run through the gossip mill or you could be betrayed for an observation you carelessly shared. But no one can run to a boss or a rival and say I ‘looked’ at them. Yes, I’m a chicken at times. I am also utterly fearless other times.
Hi Erik, I love your channel.
Which personality type seems to be most interested in learning about their own personality type?
Almost everything but mostly the part of decision of words to use,my mum and grandfather as well,think is from him,only man to cry for me🙏🏽🙏🏽
I feel you are an INFP. I am an INFJ and I love INFPs. I am really focused and almost every INFJ I have ever known is focused. INFP is the dreamer / Storyteller. People think we are very smart , but they misunderstand our dream/ vision.
Heba Gadallah I like where you are coming from in saying this. I have admitted to having a very weak J development, so I understand other INFJs may be confused by this, but I have too much focus and care in what I do and am much more proactive than any other INFP you encounter.
By the way check out my next video and itll explain more!! :)
Ok . You welcome.
I THINK infp and infj have in common 😅
I do have a lot of fluid hand movements. 😂 And all of the other things. Resonates. Good job as always. (Yes I'm commenting many years later) I really resonated with the part on feeling full while absorbing information. I am a student (again) and taking my next level of registered massage therapy so I can take my.board exams...this is a heavy Se field when it comes to the clinical portion of it (I Excell at the spiritual/relaxation emotional aspects) ... When in class, and taking on the lecture, I honestly feel like my brain is going to implode. It's like I can feel pressure literally in my body. I generally cry 1-2x per lecture as well 😂
I am processing, and understanding, but its not my natural mode of information processing.
I started to pay attention to how I "read' people's body language. And I noticed that when I'm talking with someone, I 'm paying attention on how the person is breathing. When they take a breath, how the take that breath. I don't know what I'm getting from it but I do. -:/
I'm an Infj and I do give people that stare because I try to figure a person out before I speak to them.
Wow when you started to talk about how we speak like we are lost and we are never certain when we talk! Omg yes! You finally worded this! I’ve been trying to understand how I think and when I talk how I collect my thoughts to say what I say and honestly I think I don’t do that it just happens like I just talk... but that’s scary as hell! How can I speak so well and not even be like thinking omg it’s too much!
On the stare. I have no idea what my facial expressions look like. I've had people ask me "are you alright?" Or "is everything ok?".
I never understood why people ask me that until i found out about the INFJ stare. I'm probably not so much overwhelmed, just deeply contemplating.
Emotionally there's no problem, but to others it sends a mixed messages. It might not even have anything to do with the other person. Something just triggered me to contemplate something.
My facial expressions must be ugly because people usually ask me if I'm ok. Not if I'm distracted.
10:50 thank you! I was wondering if I was just crazy lol
You remind me of Chris in High School. Everyone hated him. Once the one of the tough guys was picking on him. He tap Chris on his shoulder with "You stupid F" Chris side slapped him blood came out of his ear then the tough guy said "Stop".
I will never forget it. The meek and mild turned into a SuperHero.
I do believe that there is something in our genetic code whereby we must be eliminated.
A good way to tell if the commenter is a real Infj is if there comment is long
Now you're focusing too much on tendencies and behaviour and appearances than what's inside, N i can also be something short but packed with meaning, can't it? :)
@@ErikThor Not everything is able to be condensed into a simple witticism. Perhaps it needs a nuanced response for discussion, as an all encompassing statement has not been reached, or the subject is just far too complex for such a thing within the constraints of our current language. Introverted intuition analyzes patterns and systems. Some activities within these systems may not be directly defined in words, but rather known as fluid vagueries. This can be frustrating for the INFJ in communication, particularly in early years of development. Later on, with development of introverted thinking, an INFJ can deconstruct these systems in their head with a more accurate and robust vocabulary. This can be a relief, and therapeutic in a way, particularly if it is a long, well thought out, objective response seen from numerous angles that brings value to those who have the attention span to read.
@@Malovane77 Don't get me wrong, I think long deep conversations are the best. These days, me and my friends will often send each others 5-10 minute long voice messages. It's a nice thing to listen through.
People always say that I look “so serious.” *shrugs*
Something confusing me here, you talk about introverted feeling, while I read and heard so many explanations of infj type, that infj have extroverted feelings and then introverted judging , and that typology goes alternating... so, something seems off.. whether in all those people s explanations or yours
Wow the gaze thing
The second cognitive function for INFJ is Extroverted feeling not Introverted feeling 😕
I worked with an approach which focused on identifying the 1st and 6th function of a person at the time of making this video. I have since stopped doing this as it was confusing for people 😄
@@ErikThor Yeah Thor I get you man it was a good video either way brother
Woah... so true!!
going through again. 3.44, YES!
Thanks! How are you doing? 😊
12.49... Yep. A girl I met the first time a week ago was FOR SURE picking up on that, she seemed rather intuitive too, but not sure if that was a psychological knowing of intuition or "spiritual" in her case, was very.. intimidating at least, when processing the -Se-heavy surrounding at the same time, being in the city. Was intense, but she found and mentioned my depth and heartful energy if so to say, so .. yeah for sure, always learning and processing WHILE speaking.
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson happy love day !!!! Hope you've been well!
@@ChantelStays Ohhh and you also Chantel!
Yes, every single one!! 😄😄
This one guy told me I sound like a computer . I didn't know what to reply back so I didn't say anything lol.
Confused...ENFP or INFJ 🦄
Make ENFP body language please
Good idea! Hype!
You have crazy eyes af
WAW!
Is it me or is his left cheek twitching the whole video?
Yes, it was twitching
infjs. we are very earnest
What's your enneagram type?
592
@@ErikThor Seems right.
8:35 hell
Yes
Plsss!!!!
Pls type me!
Not trying to be funny but you sound like the guy from Star Trek
Which one? :P
@@ErikThor Pavel Chekov sound just like em
Pls can u type me?
Hi. I'm not sure of you are aware but he created a personality test. The link is listed in the description. I hope this helps. Have a good one
Wanna hit like but its at 420.
Stop the likes! 😁
I find this video just repeating cliches and stereotypes without any valuable informations and don't really think infj would do 20 mins of "nothing". As much as I understand there is not much "new" to add to the topic I've seen several videos talking how specific types tends to move different parts of face muscles or smile differently, psychological approach to topics and many others, this one is just let's fill out 20 minutes with empty space..
I can do 7hrs of nothing like a champ, but the nothing will look like nothing to those who aren't looking.
RaZziaN1 the thinking type tend to smile the same for every still shot photo and yes it looks placed on smile not spontaneous or in reaction to some thought or visual. That’s as far as my for sure use of body language interpretation of a person’s type. I think someone who is very good at these designations would certainly gain enough skill to characterize the body language per type. Another thing is some people test borderline on these tests and I think that’s a good thing...a well rounded type so their body language will be a mishmash
Your talking shit fool
Razzian1......you belong to the 23rd personality type....A.S.S.H.O.L.E!