Matt Berry reads a husband's plea to his wife about their intimate relations
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.พ. 2025
- Matt Berry performs a hilarious reading of a letter sent, in 1968, by a man named Don to his wife, regarding the frequency of their intimate relations.
Performed as part of Love Letters Live at Shoreditch Town Hall on 14th February 2020.
There's something about listening to this letter being read by the horniest vampire in history that just feels so right.
What vampire? That is Jackie Daytona, a human bartender.
@@tackbracka exactly. No vampire here
Um, excuse you both, but this is the narrator of Worms: Revolution
This is obviously the Head of Reynholm Industries
Vampire? You mean an improbably handsome, One Track Lover named Dr Todd Rivers.
Matt Berry could read the phone book and I'd be entertained. He's just that great at delivering lines!!
Fully about to say exactly this, he really is tremendously talented!
Steven Toast did once read the phone book for Clem Fandango (can you hear me?) at Scramble studio.
I thought for sure after "I'm too drunk" we were gonna get "I'm not drunk enough"
Hey gappy;) us JoJos popping up everywhere these days
Nice one. How tragic would that be!
I have heard that before !
I’ve never said it but I have thought it 🤣
you just provided the perfect setup for a mum-joke.
Spent 17 years with one and rarely felt loved.
There was nothing more than a cruel desire to control.
The more I gave, the more I lost.
17 years now with the next.
I wake up Every Day to a smile, and, "good morning my love".
And all the joy that comes with it.
Hand on my heart, the best 17 years of my life, and I'm in my late 60s.
I had a similar experience, women and the violence they commit doesn't get discussed enough.
I'm happy you found real love and happiness 😊 congratulations.
@@jasperlawrence5361 it gets actively muted
Bruh, you men never take accountability. You’re probably a better man now, then before. You can only attract what you put out.
@@kokobunni5897 There you go with your blanket statements, 'you men'. It labels you as a shallow thinker with a mean spirit.
Matt Berry's voice makes everything better and hilarious.
I just love the voice of Matt Berry.
I wish every time I had to say serious something to my wife, I could just type it into a Matt Berry soundboard.
Has he done a GPS navigation voice yet? If not is there a petition somewhere?
@@Norsilca no, but Steven Toast did a GPS.
@@koseorhun thx, I did find that trying to Google this
Oh, though female, I identify with the husband. Sadly, the day comes, when no cat is made jealous, no hair is mussed, it is neither too hot nor too cold, but no one is there to ask. That lovely closeness---savor every bit of it. Never pass up a chance if you can help it. Chances end.
That is exactly how it played out in my last relationship.
At one point things changed. I didn't reach her anymore, she didn't feel like it. It became a nuisance.
After months of refusals, I wanted to give her the space to come to me on her terms whenever she felt like it again. And so I stopped my advances altogether.
We never had sex again and in the end broke up.
I kind of still wonder how that could happen after a start where she was more or less awestruck by my ability to make her relax and reach heights of pleasure she never thought possible.
And to me the biggest frustration was not so much the lessening frequency, it was that somewhere down the line it clearly became something she only did because she noticed that I wanted it.
@@JohnDretired Like men are such a prize, pft!
@@Quotenwagnerianer You hit the nail on the head there - I went through the exact same thing, except once I decided I was pestering too much and stopped making advances, and the two of us became distant, she found comfort with somebody else. They're engaged now.
Three years on and I'm with somebody else, in a happy and strong relationship, but I'd be lying if I said I don't fear history repeating itself. You never forget the feeling of being nothing but a pest, chasing after a passion your partner no longer shares.
@@Quotenwagnerianer this is when your relationship ended. Women tend to give up long before the relationship officially ends. People change throughout life in their different phases of life and whilst some couples grow together most do not and get fed up with each other and end up on different paths. For some people staying with only one partner in life is not natural for them and people have different partners which is fine. I think monogamy is overrated as the romance novels and movies are usually full of bullshit and when I as a woman came to realise this in my 20's I was content with the fact of being single as at least I'm not in a relationship with someone who beats or rapes me or abuses me in some way as some people are. I have my freedom and that's a better life than what some people have.
They're just dishonest and want their pretties 😉
Remain the prize, put them on a pedestal at your peril boys. But be a gentleman about it. Be aloof, as much as your balls might ache...Let them come to you.
It’s a feeling of closeness, of connection, literally and figuratively, that is incomparable.
36 times in one year? That's amazing. That's about a decade for me.
I think he meant to say 3 to 6
@@3point1.2 I thought it was 4 to 5 limes
@@3point1.2 He said every tenth time.
I thought it was your letter
Once per 10 days
Not only has this been an entertaining comedy spot, reading all the comments has been highly entertaining and thought provoking as well. Thank you for posting all of this!!
Matt could read out a restaurant menu and it would be hilarious !!
The obituary of a newborn.
Oh yes he could. And I would love every second of him doing it. He's amazing
"Zes-tee Pork PIE."
Olivia Coleman could read out a technical manual and make it even more hilarious.
He could read the bill and I'd laugh.
Married my wife 27 years ago. Died aged 50. Pancreatic cancer. I married her for her mind, not her body. A brilliant scientist and never once won an argument. She was my soul, my confidante, my reason for existence. I miss her every day and we had a wonderful relationship. Yes, it had it’s ups and downs, my extensive travelling abroad on business didn’t help, and I was never unfaithful. She was the most wonderful friend, wife and lover. Men need to remember that women need to be respected, coveted and cared for. They are our ying to their yang. Each different, but intertwined, and inseparable when you meet your soul mate. I miss her.
But women need to remember that men DESIRE THEM AND HAVE NEEDS!
lovely... what a wonderful comment, and a rare one from a man...
@@melissachartres3219 they'll never understand. it's getting worse every day. the gender wars are here to stay.
Sorry for your loss, I have been through this myself so I understand.
@@melissachartres3219 She delivered his needs, not his wants 😊
"we'll make the cat jealous" That poor guy.
I was watching an old Gogglebox episode today with the two sisters, Ellie and Izzie considering:
“If you had to decide between roast potatoes and sex, which would you choose?”
The amount of pause and thought put into it cracked me up.
The spuds won.
And to think how easy roast potatoes are to come by.... I have bought potatoes for 44 aussie cents a kilo....
@@OffGridInvestor ..🤣
Not gonna lie, these days if my choice was a large plate of deep fried potato wedges or sex, I'd probably pick the potatoes 9 out of 10 times.
To quote the late Anthony Bourdain on the choice between eating a delicious meal and having sex: "Depends on who's cooking and who's fucking."
I will choose great sex over even the best roast potatoes most days, but you have to remember that so little sex is great.
@@simdoughnut659 if I wanted another baby really bad I'd probably go with the sex....but I'd check the calendar first. I'm not gonna pass up the potatoes if I'm not on a fertile day 😉
The fact that thanks to the 2019 series I can't divorce Matt Berry's voice from the character of Moominpapa makes this better.
OMG I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS A THING THANK YOU SO MUCH
wait what? i had no clue lol thats dope
omg thank you for sharing this bit of information :''DDD as a Finn I've never bothered with the other dubs
I still see him as the zoo owner from The Mighty Boosh.
His voice is great.
That's just the way we talk in Tucson, Arizonia.
I would LOVE the wife's rebuttal letter and have it read by Natasia Demetriou.
Would you also live rebuttal letters from husbabds whenever women say that hes mistreating them? What a bizarre ask.
"I'm a lazy, selfish bitch"
Love,
This guys crappy wife
@@KrytenKoro Wow. You really missed the joke.
@@carlasidhom5785 if thats a joke youre reinforcing the stereotype about women being incapable of being funny S M H.
Lots of men end up in sexless marriages. Its something all men fear. Sex is how many men feel loved. Its important to a healthy relationship. Lots of women use sex as a weapon.
@@KrytenKoro Dude, tf are you on about? You sound ridiculous.
I’m sixty years old and Dutch, I had this letter read in my class 45 years ago…but there were two more phrases…one was we made love 36 times…. 24 times you said wake me up when it’s over… and one time I was afraid I had hurt you because you moved!!
I love this man's voice and delivery every time! Was a huge fan of the IT crowd, especially when he became the boss at the company.
I was thinking of watching WWDITS, but once I knew he was in it as a lead. I HAD to watch it asap❤️ Love what you do Matt Berry
I think people highly discredit the importance of a strong sexual relationship with the one you love. It is the only time that nothing else in the world matters but the two of you in those brief moments of passion. It is the emotional link that keeps your hearts in synch it's not just about the act. So much more than that.
yeah, but you can get the same result with less mess and more fun by building a lego set together
@@nemnyoom legend
@@nemnyoomis that you, Sheldon Cooper?😂
@@owamuhmza no. sheldon cooper is a fictional caricature of an autistic person. i am real
True. However, nobody has ever complained about hurting their foot in the middle of the night because they accidently stepped on your penis.@@nemnyoom
It will make the cat jealous haha that made me laugh.
"Is that all you think about? 83 times".😂 The Irony of that is so beautiful, cause I'm on his side, but the fact that he's been recording every attempt... yeah I think it is all he thinks about. 😂
I have to disagree. I believe the issue here is that he sees it as a numbers game. Since she turns him down so much, my man is shotgunning chances even when he doesn't really want to to achieve the desired amount.
@@MugenNiFukuzatsuna Once-a-day attempt isn't even shotgunning. More than most, sure. But well within the realm of normality. And "seeing it as a numbers game" can sometimes be forced when the partner gaslights your sense of being rejected. They refuse to acknowledge the problem, so you document.
@@smallpseudonym2844once a day is kinda excessive, at least for me. That would fuck with me
No one really cares about food... until you are constantly starved.
A starving person only thinks about food. Take care of the guy regularly and well and he'll settle down and ask for it a lot less.
I’m getting through the 4th year after my daughter’s death using laughter. This is my choice for July 30, 2022. Much love. 💕🐝💕🇺🇸
Peace and love, friend. You have my condolences.
Perfect recipe for grief! Sending you big peace and lots of laughter! I'm gonna copy this recipe.
@Persis everything? no.
We just had our 5 year anniversary for our baby daughter. It’s a horrible grief and club I never want anyone to join. I’m so sorry. Hugs and love to you! 💖
@@Nikki-333 Thank you. Only those of us in the club truly know. Hugs and peace to you. People ask me if it gets better and I say that not so far. 💕🐝💕
29 years with my husband and still an average of 3 times per week. It’s the nicest way to feel close and loved 🥰.
Got a sister?
@@AthelstanEngland literal pig
I’m on the verge of leaving my woman. I moved in with her about 2-3 years ago and for the majority of that small amount of time sex is basically out of the question. We are at about once a year or less already. It’s pretty insane can’t even ring it up to her
@@illnessshaw she might be comp-het. Basically a lesbian who's been socially conditioned to believe she's straight because it's socially and culturally required of women to like men, otherwise their gender is in question. My honest advice is to ask her directly, because that's the fastest way you can solve this. Obviously that's a bit of a blunt force aproach, so you're free to do this in whatever way you feel is confortable.
But make no mistake: love involves sexual attraction, as well as emotional. Her not liking you back is indeed abnormal and something that needs resolution, one way or another.
@@illnessshawShe might have a libido issue, either naturally low or a medical/hormonal/nutritional/psychological problem. Be kind and non-confrontational when you discuss it (which you really should). Hopefully she’ll take it seriously and get herself checked out. If there’s a natural mismatch in libido between you and her, that has dire implications for the relationship.
Sadly, I wish I had that guys success rate.
Me too!!!! 😂 well jealous of Don the ungrateful swine.
If you got married you'd have someone who let you touch their butt whenever you wanted.
I think not
averaged 11 for ten years...
Me too. Your wife never said yes once to me.
This is basically a Redd Foxx routine from decades ago. The second part of the routine is the letter from the wife in reply, which casts the whole thing in another light
what was the other light
@@cassun603 yellow
@@cassun603 I barely remember, but I think it's the one where the guy is a total klutz, accidentally pulling her hair (giving her a bald patch), getting his elbow in her eye (giving her a black eye), and a whole list of injurious calamities. He's lucky she lets him in the same room.
And that light is? Maybe she dislikes the guy... maybe the guy is a deuche. But that doesn’t explain why married for sometime male here can relate to this.
Some of us can put on with it , some start getting it elsewhere.
@@LynxSouth Maybe she should make love to him then, show him how it is done!
Marriage sounds awesome. Can’t wait!
Yup, I don't get the sense that population control is a big problem if we just increase the marriage rate!
Best VO actor, Ever!
Every Matt Berry character is just Matt Berry in makeup and costume.
And that's just as it should be.
That's the great thing about him
Sadly its getting to where that's every "Actor."
That sounds almost like Tim Curry
Moral of the story - If you're gonna marry a quantity surveyor, you better put out.
No, moral of the story is don't get married!
Haha, the keeping score was a bit freaky.
@@billburr5881 The marital status of the participants mentioned within the correspondence has negligible consequence in this particular instance. I had to look up how to spell correspondence, though.
😂
more proof i'd listen to anything matt berry says
"ever loving" is a good choice of words to say the least
Ever longing would be a good addition
I love it 👏 TYSM ❤ I hope someday I'll be able to sit in the audience and enjoy it live.
Me too🥺😁
I love him in the TV show What we do in the shadows. Super funny.
Damn, that hits close to home
I used to dream of 36 times a year!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Once every 10 days is a solid average.
@@LaughingRampage I think so too.
@@edp3202 Of course you think it's solid. You're the woman half of the equation.
@@John-Johnston 😉
This guy could read through a phone book... I'd listen
Seen several clips. Never heard the whole letter until now. This was great.
I was convinced my partner wrote this, “Don” is even the secret name he would totally use. However, we don’t own a cat, but a dog instead. And neither of us was born in 1968 😂 Love Matt Berry
Wanting what you don't have and then not wanting what you've have.
Can't imagine anyone else reading this 🥰
Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. But it is when you aren’t having it.
…if you want it.
I both agree and disagree. Yes, it's not the most important thing. However, when your partner rejects you constantly, it's not funny.
It's the only thing that differentiates a romantic relationship from a platonic relationship.
@chandllerburse737 No. Not all sexual relationships are romantic. But all romantic relationships are sexual, by definition. And by sexual, I just mean a sexual attraction exists. Without that, it's merely platonic.
@chandllerburse737No such thing as an asexual person. If a girl tells you she's asexual it means she wants to use you for emotional support but isn't sexually attracted to you. All those "asexual" girls do have sex, just not with you.
"I'm not drunk enough" - 107 times.
Maybe the odds would be better if he improved his technique so she might actually enjoy it enough to make it worth her while even if not drunk.
@@elizabethhuber434 perhaps, but I have spoken with a number of women who can't make themselves orgasm, let alone help a man understand how to get them there. Maybe their female partners need to be proactive in helping them to understand what is missing.
I have been in relationships on both sides of this. In one, I was easily capable of getting her there, partly because she could direct me somewhat toward what worked best for her.
In the other, there was no communication that she wasn't enjoying it as much as she could have, even worse she would fake her pleasure so I had no feedback to guide me. I only truly knew (I got a sense of it) when we broke up and she tried to blame it on my lack of performance....funny, the one who couldn't or wouldn't communicate is the only woman who ever had that complaint.
Women have it easy, just say yes, and a man will find pleasure. Men need to take courses in anatomy, biology, psychology, and the romantic arts just to perform, and then even if the performance is great, some audiences just aren't receptive.
I don't necessarily mean this directed at you, but I see this from women all the time, and generally when I ask what they do to help the situation, I get silence or attacked for hating women.
I don't hate women. I love my wife of 18 years (of whom I was not referring earlier), and I love my daughter. I want both of them to have healthy and fulfilling relationships, so my motivation to even join these conversations is from that.
@@stevescuba1978 I was going to fire off something dismissive but after thinking on this, I am going to answer in the spirit in which you replied which seems genuine at least. There are sooo many reasons why women have painfully little knowledge of their own sexuality and indeed have so much guilt and shame that they cannot express to their partner what they need. However as a follower of Ben Shapiro, I am sure you can mansplain to everyone why those reasons are invalid.
@@elizabethhuber434 I appreciate your attempt at not being dismissive, until you got dismissive with your assumption about me based on things I watch.
I would not say women's insecurities are invalid. But I would say that women seem to only focus on their own insecurities, while having no sympathy for the fact that men also have insecurities.
I get it, you (women, not you personally) don't know your own bodies, you can't explain them to yourself or your partner, you're too afraid, insecure, and ashamed to discuss it intimately, but it's all the man's fault and you can happily say so publicly...further denigrating men for something that has nothing to do with them.
Then you (you this time) get upset and defensive, make a personal (albeit subdued and mild) attack because your feelings are hurt that a man pointed out that the problem lies with you, the solution lies with you, and you haven't tried to fix it.
This is a similar concept to being angry with your man because YOU dreamed something ugly. Every bit of the problem starts in your head, but is somehow the man's fault.
I am being genuine, because I hope to help somebody see the conundrum, and maybe they can sort it out in their own relationship. Also, I am a little defensive myself, because I am sick of watching men take the blame for everything whether it is our fault or yours. Nobody wants to be the fall guy all the time, and from personal experience, eventually a man just won't give a damn to be blamed any longer.
Regarding insecurity and shame...a man is expected to be an all-knowing god in the bedroom, we KNOW that women expect this, we KNOW that men get shamed for not being such. Yet, even if we ask questions that make us vulnerable, women can't or won't explain, and most often just feel disappointed and pretend everything is fine until lack of fulfillment brings resentment, or worse, destroy a man's reputation for it. I've seen this pattern in dozens of relationships, one of mine and many around me. Do you not think that men have equivalent insecurities? Do you think that men don't feel shame, especially when women seem to love shaming us? Do you think that there is a solution that women can offer?
I do. And to me, the answer is to stop blaming men for not knowing what is in your heads, when you don't know yourselves. Then, damn your insecurities and help him understand your needs.
Another part of the solution, and the one that normally sends women up a pole, be a virgin when you get married, then you can't lay quietly back remembering the man who didn't marry you and compare his sexual prowess to the man who loves you enough to put a ring on it. Learn what works for you together, rather than just expect that your man has a master key to locks that are hidden.
All this to say, men own some of the blame as well. We should do better to try and understand and fulfill women's needs. I will say in our defense though, it gets old very fast being in a relationship where only one of the two cares to do so. I have seen the pattern again and again, and watched dozens of women sabotage the men they claim to love without remorse or self-reflection.
And while I watch Ben Shapiro, I am not a huge fan of his. I tend to watch people who I think know more than I do about certain topics so that I might learn. I have watched countless hours of videos on relationships and sexuality, from both men's and women's perspectives. I watch MGTOW videos, even though I have a loving traditional wife, because I try to understand what other men are going through (and give them advice to have better relationships). I watch all sorts of things that people send me, much of which is quite contrary to my own way of thinking, because unlike most people, I don't just parrot what others say. I form my own opinions from various resources, then I mansplain away. And by the way, mansplain is a stupid derogatory made-up word that women use, which really means, "I feel dumb for not knowing and needing something explained" most of the time. From my perspective, and in my experience, men don't explain things to people who understand things.
@@stevescuba1978 Thank you for all your paragraphs mansplaining to me how I am wrong for the basis of my own personal opinion (which, since we are strangers on the internet, does not affect your world at all).
Thank you for mansplaining what mansplaining means TO YOU. Now I can clearly see how you get attacked when asking "sincere" questions about this topic. Pro-Tip: If you are only asking questions so you can seize upon any opportunity to explain/defend your view, it kinda starts feeling not very sincere.
Please, let us put this argument to bed and do not reply to me in paragraphs as I am the kind of person who feels obligated to put at least some kind of effort into MY reply since you took the time and thought to write it instead of just putting a laugh react which was my first impulse.
"Is that all you think about?" 🤣🤣🤣
Once every ten days….not so bad.
Good luck Don.. never give up hope!
At least Don is married.
Did she ever say to you, one morning while getting ready for work, in a cheerful upbeat manner, “I could live the rest of my life without sex!”
The marriage is over.
@@billburr5881 Yep I divorced her in 1999, no regrets.
Ouch. Why does it have to be this way...
We don't have sex daily by any means but if she ever said that I'd leave.
I got that one advice most likely will end up cheating on you been done to me
If only windows could be closed!
Oh wait, they can be.
Funny video.
I'd never heard of Matt Berry before coming across his Toast of London series. It's bloody fucking hilarious.
"I'm not in the mood = ALL THE TIMES."
well get her in the mood boy....lazy ass haha
For a moment I thought this said Mary Berry, that would have been even better. Everything goes better with cake.
@@heyokaikaggen6288 or her reading the wife's reply 🙃
It will make the cat jealous 19 times lol ? Id expect it once cause its so silly. But she used it 19 times, thats just weird.
My cat definitely gets pissed off at me after intimacy. Jealous, needy little creatures 😹
I'm slightly face blind and had to look it up to be sure: Yup, it's Douglas Reynholm from The IT Crowd. While I was at it, I had a look at what else he's in and now I have great expectations.
My man brought the receipts!
Anyone who asks for sex every single day just to be rejected most of the time, has missed the boat. If you're consistently getting rejected, stop asking for sex, and start talking to your partner about what the issues are. There is certainly something going on that you both should have an honest conversation about. The old saying goes: "You either have uncomfortable conversations or an uncomfortable relationship."
Nah
Your partner knows you want to have sex, why don't they show initiative by going about why they are rejecting this pleasure to you
yawnsvillle
You can’t fix it, they’ve already got up and left the room before you even bring it up in the conversation.
God bless you for bringing truth and wisdom to such a difficult subject. You ARE spot on
@@guharup bet you don't have a good sex life
36 times in a single year? I would think I’d have died and been in Heaven for a year & a half. Anyway, I give you credit for your persistence. I’ve pretty much given up asking.
Life is short my friend.
Perhaps ask your partner for a solution.
Solution is easy. Unless kids are involved.
@@leechessman9692 The could get along in every other way. I think this calls for a mistress.
Smack it off her face while she’s sleeping and demand she do her wifey duties aka man up and act like one
Who knows it might even turn her on instead of a pansy who doesn’t demand his wife take care of his needs
Sadly, this makes me depressed because this seems like a lot.
a lot of sex, or a lot pf excuses?
i cannot relate to the excuses.
Snuffbox is one of the best shows ever
The cat and mud pack ones are the best 😂😂
Was with the same lady 21 years. Past 15 years is was a struggle. After divorce found a new, now we have been together 11 years, newer have to ask twice :) Don't know how this works, some humans just like sex more than others....
Some women take husbands they aren’t attracted to
@user-qt6he1zi3s I don't think people always act with consciousness of their own nature. And marriage especially for young women has a lot to do with timing
Some women have more responsibilities than others. Has nothing to do with liking sex
@user-qt6he1zi3s Same could be said for men. If you meet a young, unemployed, sexy energetic woman who loves being intimate; Don't expect her to be the same after marriage.
You want your wife to have kids? The trade-off is sex.
You want your wife to accept your mom in the house? The trade-off is sex.
You want your wife to get to get a full-time job to help with the bills? The trade-off is sex.
You want your wife your wife to keep the house clean? The trade off is sex.
There are always opportunity costs
@@LM-he7eb Some women have more responsibilities than others, same goes for sex drive....and not much of a correlation IMHO.
Feeling kinda bad for the guy sat next to the woman who's nodding whilst laughing along to all of these.
Pornhub's made the whole sweaty mess redundant.
Well when she finds out he is getting it elsewhere she will not nod with a smile. She will sob and ask why?
@@henriquetelles36 God no, I'd be glad to be left alone. Sex is boring.
Mistook your avatar for the SWTOR logo for some reason...
@@romeaffair You're the boring one, honey.
I read a scientific study that determined that with both male and female alike,… one third wanted it 3-7 times a week, one third 3-7 times a month and one third 3-7 times a year or not at all. So the trick is finding out ASAP which group you both fall into. Being mismatched is never good!!
Problem is that it can change as you age and the hormone levels dip. What one is like early in life is not necessarily an indication of what one wants later on.
The nightmare is when you are with someone who is 3-7 times a week and you’re more of a 3-7 times a year.
@@RoyalBlue4486 Why are you with someone then? You obviously have a complete lack of attraction to anyone.
@@ClockworkGearheadI've got two words for you: aromantic asexual. These two words do NOT have to go together. Some people are romantically attracted to others and want a relationship, but aren't sexually attracted to others. This doesn't necessarily mean they'll never have sex or don't enjoy it, but it also can. The problem is a lot of people don't really know what these labels are or mean, and thus don't know they apply to them and they can't have proper discussions with their partner to navigate this 😅
@@readmachine18 save the bs
God this is reliving my previous marriage
It will make the cat jealous is the best lol
I'm surprised "keeping track" was not one of the reasons!
You have to keep score - they do it too.
"You and she were... buddies, weren't you?"
They don’t even own a cat 😀
✨✌️🤣✌️✨
“Is that all that you think about?”
36 times is 3 times better than my best year over the last 15 year. His average is more than 2 times a month. My God what an animal .
Hello to everybody in this situation. I have come to understand, through much resignation and misunderstanding, that, in long term relationships, we live with humans. As cheesy as it may sound, it's utterly easy to forget the fact that our partner has, as much as we do, a right to consentment, and there is also the fact that they have just too much on their minds. It can also be that we have neglected ourselves, either physically, emotionally, or worse, we have forgotten what our partner needs, in order to feel safe with us. Without safety, one can't relax, and without relaxation, it's complicated for many to get cuddly. Love, for many, is more important than atraction, so we must consider that when we demand our time, selfishly.
You took this way too seriously.
So when I get home from work and make dinner and take the dog out and get the kids to bed and after all that am too exhausted to ALSO clean the entire house pay the bills and set up elaborate dates and expensive outings, because that's what it takes to get contentment, it's MY fault that not a single chore has been done all day and there's no discernable effort to avoid/overcome those things causing stress and worry, and me providing solutions only INCREASES irateness and anxiety?
@@michaelsorensen7567 u ok dog?
Women use the hundred other things that I have to do and now I’m too tired/stressed/exhausted/fill in the blank. It’s all about priorities. Yes there’s times like that especially with children when its too busy. That’s when you need to schedule time for your partner, book a room somewhere on a weekend and make them a priority. But they don’t, because they don’t care about their husbands needs anymore so it’s not a priority for them. Easier to make work and the children the priority and complain about it and deflect from their loss of desire and interest in their husbands.
@@Kmaitland89 I did. I tend to. I just came out of a long term relationship and neglect was one of the reasons we broke up. Also selfishness. The video just rung a bell for me. I'm no guru, I know that.
My wife just asked me if I wrote the script for this.... lol
Divorce her
I swear I've seen this before and there is a scathing, equally pedantic reply from the wife
Did the math and that still leaves 21 times where he didn't succeed that he didn't give reasons for.
36 times a year would be like winning the World Cup! 😂
Our cat DOES get jealous! 😅
I went from twenty times in thirty years to twenty times a fortnight.
My wife is not nearly as imaginable with those numerous excuses. She just says, NOPE and that's it.
This is why I fear getting married. Women just get to pronounce a death sentence on a marriage on a whim and nobody pushes back against it.
@@StarboyXL9 if you think a marriage is kept alive by sexx, you’re probably not that good at it and definitely shouldn’t be getting married anyway.
@@mightytaiger3000 that's not the point
The point is that intimacy is still wanted
Once you put a ring on some woman that is it for you - the only place left is the mountain of mordor
@@mightytaiger3000 no but if love someone you also want them to enjoy.
I have with my wife 2 times a day atleast.
I've been married for 6 years. The first year we made love three or 4 times a week. Now once bi-weekly. Sometimes I prefer to make all by myself, than lose a lot of time to obtain just a NO.
@@jkquinn55 Brilliantly said. My guy watched TV every evening, came up at 1am, and was I feeling loved? Nope, not at all. We're not together any more. Nice guy, but ignored me during the day, and I couldn't get over that.
@@nicolab2075 did you talk to him about it first
Once every 10 days? Better than me!
I would love to hear a reply from Mrs Don. Something along the lines of "Dear Don, you might improve the stats in two ways: 1. acknowledging that foreplay is more than a poke in the back accompanied by the words 'willy says he's cold, can he borrow your muff" and 2. entertaining said muff for longer than two minutes and then returning it in a less than satisfactory condition. " ;-)
I mean, who refuses sex when it's really good?
@@christineharrelson4831
Some women.
She didn't say that before the wedding, and you and she both know why she never said that before the wedding.
Yeah it's only after you get married yhat you magically realize that you don't like the way he goes about it right? Lmao. Always the poor victim.
Yet you complain when we cheat. We'll keep cheating
Seems you're still blaming the guy
Despicable
When your married to a statistician.
I have heard that speach several times, and I wondered, have anyone ever counted the listing of 'times'? And then I did. To all the interested ones, the beloved Matt's wife refused him an intimate moment 308 times, which together with his astonishing succesful rate of 36 times, is in total 344 a year. What happened to missing 21 days? I assume Matt did take the matters into his own hands:)
Don't we all? And I neither have to cuddle or talk softly to, my hand.
That probably was January, before he made a list.
Those were the days Don refused.
Her period
@@messainadir6279 wasn't her period when she 'mud pie' or something like that?
Thank you Matt!
My wife has put me in the too hard basket for the last 15 years but still insists that we should sleep in the same bed because she can't sleep alone. If we did not have a son who I love dearly I would be long gone.
You should leave. You'd be doing her and your kid a favor.
Have you considered you’re bad in bed? If she enjoyed sex with you surely she’d want to have sex with you.
Talk to her.
What a sad thing to read. Just leave. You can still be a parent to your son. Good luck tho telling him that you left his mom because of sex (although I there are clearly deeper issues involved).
@@bornana269 I am responsible for my son and his well being, coming from a broken home myself has shown me how important a father is, and he needs to be around for his child.
Sex is important. If its something that made you happy and isnt available in your relationship any longer then move on. The fact is women will absolutely shut the sex faucet down to a drible without a word of explanation if you let them. They don't want to talk about because they know they are in the wrong for doing it and are happy not to have an uncomfortable conversation. Call them on it and make them explain. If the explanation lacks, get on down the line. It's her body and her choice. That argument is just as valid for you.
Christ, that brought back some painful memories.
However, it does remind me to be thankful that I'm no longer married.
I'll bet your ex wife is also thankful
@@joycetaylor8057 A man who turns off the money tap ends up in jail with a conviction for domestic abuse! A defacto marriage (cohabitation) is not considered valid if there is no sex. A marriage with no sex is not a marriage!
@@joycetaylor8057 Very much so! Everyone's a winner. Well, apart from her current partner, that is...
@@billburr5881 Everyone is different. For some people, intimacy is very important, for others, it is less so. The trick is to find the person who likes the sort of things you like in roughly equal measure, or at least likes things that can exist easily alongside the things you like.
I was unfortunately too young to realise this was important when I got married many years ago, and it was a contributing factor in our marriages failure, for which both of us were at fault.
As such, I've never held it against her.
(she never let me near enough 🤣 ).
@@billburr5881 No women in the U.S. has to have sex with a man if she doesn't want to.
She doesn't owe it to him, it is not part of any "contract. The reason most women don't want to have sex with their husband is because he is no good in bed and it's just a big bother that she gets nothing out of. It's just the truth...deal with it.Of course this doesn't pertain to o...no, we women have done such a good job of faking it that you actually think you have talent....news flash...you don't
"who the f*ck are you? how did you get in my house?- 164 times"
Matt Berry could read sugar cookie recipes and it will still be hilarious!
As someone who has been married for 15 years, I can say once every 10 days isn't *ideal* but it is not the worst streak that people have. I mean with life, illness, stresses, etc. It's obviously meant to be a cute letter so I'm not overly criticizing it,, in just thinking about how even though it's only about once every 2 weeks that really isn't the worst I've heard other long term relationship folks say (married or not)
And when I hear people joke about how that's why marriages suck I'm like "well, is being single doing better for you?". It usually is not.
I bet that letter writer was hoping for once a week.
yeah honestly I'm not shocked he got "is that all you think about" 83 times it sounds like he asks every single day 😂😂😂
Real talk.
I'm single and I get it whenever I want and for the guys that can't there are always hookers
Men will literally make a spreadsheet and argue at you like a whiny child before they figure out what gets you in the mood and put in the work to do it. If my husband acted like this, I'd probably never want to sleep with him again. Ever had a desperate ex girlfriend throw herself at you over and over, bud? That's the experience you're giving her.
He asked every day. Which is annoying.
We have been married 20 years still average 5 times a week. Make intimacy (emotional and physical) a priority
Share your wisdom please?
THIS 😁😁😁😁.
I know - your neighbour
I wouldn't be up for that. I love cake, but I don't fancy eating it 5 times a week. Intimacy can be found in many things, like holding hands, roaring with laughter, or cooking their favorite meal.
@@carmenl163 nah man I’m a virgin holding out for marriage and refuse to be celibate for more than a day without illness. And I will be on a mission to make my wife O time permitting every time, and if she don’t O then she Os first the next time with or without my member.
Who on earth doesn’t want to to O on the regular?
If we both home 7days, then 3-4x a week minimum!!!
I've got a cat like that.
Yeah cat jealousy is real!
Probably shouldn't be having sex with your cat at all
The dog's watching, scratching at the door, barking, etc.
Tried to put the dog in the back yard, and he starts howling.
Hard to get in the mood, when they are making all that racket.
It's funny, because it's true.
@@euc5957 It's ok, the cat told me it's into it. It's not my fault you can't read the minds of animals.
@@TheScreamingFrog916 Invest in chewy treats or bones. That's bones with an S, for the dog. Give him something he likes better than watching you. Or just let him watch.
It will make the cat jealous lol
Finally the original !!!
Was that it? Strict Irish Catholic, would pick an argue with an empty room on any subject under the sun - bless her....
Ahhh sexless marriage.
It's like agreeing to eat at the same restaurant for the test of our lives, but the restaurant is almost never open.
Based
That's why you need to thoroughly sample their food beforehand and make sure there's multiple entrances. 🤙
@@thebusinesswoman23 I think that’s how you get salmonella
Sex every ten days with someone you're half sick to death of is pretty good going to me.
@@thebusinesswoman23 Even then, the restaurant may lock up various or all doors unexpectedly as the years go by.
Dude's complaining about a one in ten chance, I haven't been that lucky in years.
kinda sad how she had to come up with so many excuses because for sure she felt like the rare, but honest "i'm not in the mood" wouldn't work
She was in the moon. Just not for him. That's the subtext here.
Make the cat jealous 😆
Oh thank you so much
The comment section is very enlightening. It's almost possible to tell who's in a long term relationship ("every 10 days is pretty good!") versus who isn't ("omg sexless marriage!").
Been married for 8 years have sex still pretty well daily . Once every ten days what’s the purpose of staying at the pin t just will make people get it elsewhere . Fill the belly empty the sack
Yes! I had sex with my ex husband three times a week and he was whining at me constantly that it wasn't enough. No efforts to get me in the mood, constantly absent for business and then I was supposed to fall on my back when he entered the door. Men seem to think whining is really hot. This cliche that women don't like sex needs to die, it's bullheck.
The opposite, actually: long term couples actually have MORE sex. Once every ten days is actually too high to be safe for singles (you can't get reliable STD testing between partners this way). Your risk only drops after you have been a year with the same person. So most health conscious singles cannot maintain that average for long. Even with reliable condom use, HIV risk only drops by 85 percent, HSV only drops if the sore is perfectly covered and you never shared fomites (towels or bed sheets), HPV risk may not drop (especially if anal is involved), and chlamydia risk does not drop much (based on NIH estimates back in 2001 later proven by the rise of chlamydia in the US despite increased condom use and decreased pregnancies). Current recommendation is condom use and a full STD panel between partners, taken a month after last intercourse to ensure time for antibody development, with a barrier method used for a full year together--or abstinence.
Married people have a much lower risk, ease of access, and the benefit of time. Shoot, it's more than marriage, monogamy itself my increase your sexual chances: a sociological study in the APA Journal even found that people report better sex if they only ever have one lifetime partner (and even better if they waited, since the brain has nothing to compare it to and no fear of experimentation because of the trust built up). If your marriage is not satisfying both partners, that's actually a good reason to talk to your doctor, as long as they are well trained in sexual success. I mean, shoot, I'm a sexual health physician. And available. Just search up Healthcare By Jen Finelli, and even if you're not a patient I can get you sexual health coaching. And there are people better than me out there.
Marriage is hard, but it can be hard if you want it to be. ; )
@@becominghero9754 😆I was wondering what kind of person has all this info at their fingertips...and then I got to the end. I hope your sense of humor puts your patients at ease. (5 years ago, there were reports that chlamydia was up in the US due to unprotected sex in old folks' homes. Without pregnancy risk, they thought they didn't need to use condoms. And maybe thought their partners were more honest than they were.)
@@annnee6818 While I see your point, when turning you on requires the equivalent of solving a Rubix cube while performing a traditional Mongolian underwater tap dance and turning a pretzel into a dove while sawing another woman in half using one's toes...
It's a bit of an issue. I suspect a bit of meeting one another halfway might have helped.