I just know, deep in my soul, that if Op did "skip a step" in getting ready for dinner like he asked, the mom would have been like "Look at her, she doesn't even put in enough effort in her appearance so you aren't embarrassed out in public with her. That's not something you want in a wife." I can just feel it in my bones.
When my friend got married, his MIL (who lived about 3 hours away) would regularly phone to say she was about to hang herself if her daughter didn't come 'home'. It stopped when he asked her to wait a few hours until he could get there to kick the chair from under her.
People underestimate how powerful narcissistic parents are. OP's fiancé wasn't a "momma's boy" but his mother used the death of his father to shame him into getting whatever she wanted. She was a master manipulator and knew what buttons to push to control her son. That's why he paid for his mom's windows, went out to dinners without OP, basically excluded OP from the trip, etc. It's good OP's fiancé was able to acknowledge these toxic behaviors and cut ties with his mom.
Oh please, she milked that for a decade. He's spineless and doesn't actually care about his fiancee. She will ruin any relationship. He will be tied to her forever and he deserves it.
@@paulagoeringer9466Insult and victim blame all want, but I'm telling the truth. You'll understand when you're in a narcissistic relationship and then have people treat you the same you you treated him.
@@amyyaku5022 really? You don't know shit about me. Don't talk like you do. I know more about narcissists than you. I survived them. My child survived them. As in literally survived murder attempts. Had to have surgery because of. Also, work on your comprehension skills as well as your social skills. They're both lacking. Empathy too.🌹
It baffles me that she was able to convince him that his kidney donation killed his father. His father's body killed his father. His father's body would have rejected ANY donation, at that point, if it rejected his own son's. That DNA is pretty close, after all. Organ transplants are ALWAYS HIGH RISK. And it's not the fault of the person donating the organ. They go through a rigorous screening process. It's just that some bodies WILL NOT accept a transplant. The mother is horrific to pull that and make her son feel that. SHAME!
@@amyyaku5022 Coddle and infantilize all you want. Adults are still accountable for their poor choices. Mom only had power over fiance, because he gave it to her repeatedly. And don't assume you're the only one with toxic or narcissistic parents either.
adam is not "momma boy" in general sense. He was groomed and brainwashed by his terrible mother. That's the reason why in this case i fully support OP in repairing relashionship with him.
I agree with you. I don't think Adam is a Mama's boy either. know some people can't stand spineless people who can't or won't stand up for themselves like spineless Mama's boys and to tell you the truth, even I have my limits with those kind of people(And I usually try to be as understanding as I can possibly be) and yes you should know how to stand up for yourself and make good decisions for yourself and your loved ones as much as possible, but we tend to underestimate just how powerful abusers and narcissists can be when they've completely brainwashed and broken their target. Sometimes, they need some outside help to escape. If OP did leave(not that I'm saying she'd be wrong if she left), Adam would still suffering at the hands of his narcissistic birth giver and she would continue to chase away any rescuers that may come his way until his mother finally succeeded in making her son a shell of his old self. Whether she was still alive or had died. All that being said, Adam is an adult now, and he needs to keep those boundaries he has in place and he needs to focus on himself and OP. Moving forward, he needs to continue to grow. I think therapy is definitely a good idea. And he definitely needs to stay NO CONTACT with his birth giver, permanently. Letting her back in will likely cause him to relapse, like a recovering addict or a recovering alcoholic slipping back into old habits. Adam has come this far and so has OP and I really hope they make it! ❤️
Mil blamed her son for his father's death in order to monopolize and control him? Thats.....I'm not even sure narcissism is the correct word to describe that. That's something even worse.
I lost my father due to motorcycle accident back in 2021, I am still grieving. I talk with my family and therapist and write in a journal and I take one step at a time.
I am a witch and the philosophy behind my belief system got me through the deaths of my oldest sons in car crashes a year apart. It gave me comfort. I won't try to explain it. but when push comes to shove, it was a godsend to have comfort. Especially knowing that my boys are happy and healthy on the other side. I will be with them when I am transiting after my own death. it will be awesome to see my family again. None of us will ever be tossed away or sent to hell because there isn't one. Nobody is sent to hell, no matter what. Everybody is going to the summerlands with comfort and love. each of us will review their lives and heal it. May you all have blessings showered on you with blessings heaped down on you to comfort you!
His mother is a monster. Unfortunately narcissistic people have no insight or empathy. What this man has gone through has been horrific and damaging to his psychic. I’m glad is is going to be able to appropriately grieve for his father as he never did. OP both of you have gone through the ringer and the fact that you are processing this together is a powerful bonding experience. He will take a long time and therapy to come to terms with what his mother did to him. But with you in his corner he’s won half the battle. Here is wishing you a harmonious respectful and happy marriage. Both of you deserve happiness. 🌹💐👍
My father died when I was 13 years old. He had brain cancer. This was in 1973, at that time the focus of the doctor and hospital was to prevent drug addiction and thus my father was only given the minimum amount of pain medication and his pain was very intense. My family all had issues with the grieving process and this has molded my heart to try to honor what he taught me about being kind and giving. Later in my health care career I worked as a Hospice nurse. When asked by some of my patients or their families why I worked with Hospice I told them about my father and that I never wanted anyone to go through seeing their loved one being frightened or in unrelieved pain, also to empower the family when I know they feel powerless to alter the course of whatever disease is taking the one they love. Although I know you can’t change the past you can affect the future and bring peace and closure, one person at a time.
My grandparents raised me and when I lost my Nana (aka mom), to lung/bone cancer, (I was the one taking care of her and I watched her walk into the house and 12 days later they carried her out in a body bag) my husband and I didn't really know how her passing would effect me. I have some issues. What kept me going were my kids. I had an almost 1 yr old and a 7 yr old, i had to keep going for them. Getting up and taking care of them. You'll never really get over the loss, u just learn to live with the pain.
This hurts my heart. I've been bullied, controlled hated abused, and traumatized by my mom all my life. Till this day I'm scared of my mom. No matter what she did say and what she still saying to me and what she done and still doing to me I'll always love her. It's so bad I feel my mom hates me. I'm 40 and I'm still scared of her. She hates my hobbies, she hates that I talk about wanting to write a book, "oh good luck with athat your going to need it, it's already a million writers in this world. She hates that I have kids, she rolls her eyes at me just for having a general conversation! She hates everything I do. She tells me I need to stop eating. I'm very ill and when we go to my doc she will cut my docs conversation off and say "so what about me" I'm so embarrassed, I can't even talk to doc about me it's always about her. I would tell her about my meds and why I've gained weight. She yells and says no that's not it. I said but my doc said it, mom says don't listen to your doc, they're wrong. When mom hears it from the doc her jaw drops with a gasp. She would go a say things like "oh yeah I'm very smart I know everything " when I'm diagnosed, mom will say "I got what you got then" I told her these illnesses are mostly due to chemo and radiation, mom have you had liters,, gallons,, tubs of chemo stuffed in your veins I don't know about? She gets quite. Ive been sick most of my life.I forgot to pay my phone bill, only one time. My brother won't pay so she says nothing and pays it for him but she yells at me like I'm nothing saying "slow irresponsible one.. she love to say you will fall on your face. As a teen she says your 2 cent job won't pay for anything anyway. I was on my way to work and she called saying my brother needs the car to go to work, he worked in a restaurant like me, that's when she yelled at me about 2 cents. It hurt and still hurts so bad living like that. I barely talk to her my whole life. She always wonder why am I so passive so coy. I moved out back in 05 and didn't tell her. Before that, mom told me to move out in 2 days. I said we have nowhere to go. She said my boyfriends daughter needs my room so find you somewhere to go. So in a month I found an apartment and I told her, she said why would you move out when you can live here free? I lacked emotions so I didn't understand it. I figured it out that again her boyfriend moved out, again and again again always. When I moved out I didn't see or talk to mom much in 10 yrs. After 10 yrs I was every name in the book, it's worst than ever, like damn!! To be continued.
One thing that helped me to deal with the passing of my birth mother was talking to someone at my church because I didn't know how to feel because she was majorly abuse of. The nice lady I spoke to helped a lot. I also recommend that you talk to someone at your church it is also Free
I know right? That's why I can't help but feel sorry for Adam. Sure, he made poor choices and he shouldn't have let his birth giver have so much power over him of course, but at the same time he was destroyed by his birth giver when she blamed him for his father's death and he actually believed that she was right. Not I'm not trying to accuse those who were exhausted by Adam's lack of spine of victim blaming because they do have some valid points. There's victims of abuse who were able to open their eyes quickly and cut ties with toxic family almost immediately. And narcissistic mothers always hate people(especially partners)who come between her and her children because they could take them away from her, meaning she loses the very power and control that's she's clearly obsessed with. If it wasn't OP, it would have been someone else and he needs to stand up for himself, not to mention he let his incubator abuse OP as well but too often, we tend to underestimate just how powerful a narcissist/abuser is when they've essentially brainwashed or broken their poor victim, especially if it's their own children. That's why I'm far more angry at the abuser than I am at the victim because I know not everyone had the chance to grow a spine growing up, especially if they were raised by narcissists/abusers.
To remember loved ones who have died, try to remember the time spent with them, the good times, the funny times, write them down if you can. Ask his friends or relatives to recount personal stories about your father too…. Get pictures of him from people, and ask them about when the picture was taken. Reminiscing is a good way to help healing.
After my parents died I went through as many pictures of them as I could. I also wrote a journal, for a while, of all of the good memories I could remember that I had with them. I would write down any bad memories I had on a piece of paper and when I felt I had everything written down about a particular bad memory that had come up I would burn it. It helped me through those memories. I kept the journal of the good memories and if I feel like I am really missing either one of them I pull the journal out to reread it and may add some more memories that I hadn’t written down beforehand. This is comforting. It’s also still helpful to still write down then burn the difficult memories I had from early childhood up until they passed away. In addition to this I visit their gravesites if I still find myself missing them a lot. It happens A LOT LESS OFTEN than it used to. It’s actually down to once or twice a year now.
If they pulled that, I would cuss them both out so badly their faces would blister. Then cancel and go home dumping the weak idiot. No one has time for that nonsense. Life is too short to put up with an anchor of a mil around your neck.
When Dad died in 1981, Mom had the paperwork burden. I was cleaning up my room for guests and saw my then-new copy of DANSE MACABRE by Stephen King. That funny non-fiction book about horror fiction helped keep me going. When Mom died in 1999, I was her executrix, so I had all that paperwork to focus on.
The main thing that has helped me through grieving the loss of my parents (mom, dad, step dad) & sister is reminding myself that they are no longer sick and/or in pain. Gentle hugs & love to those out there who are going through this...........
It’s so hard to lose a parent. I’m just thankful we knew it was coming (lung cancer) and I got to spend lots of time with her before she passed. This was March 2014, and I still pick up the phone to call her, then I remember. Just know you gave your father a few extra months. You took nothing away from him.
If my FMIL was planning a wedding I didn't want, I'd insist that we secretly get married in Vegas right away. I would have turned around and gone back home after the BS in Spain
OP's husband is a momma's boy all the way. What kind of man leaves his fiancee alone on the plane and worse to stay in that apartment by herself on their vacation
Didn't you listen to the whole thing? His mother manipulated her and made feel him like he's obligated to do all these things because, according to his mother, he "killed" his father. If he was a mama's boy then he wouldn't have gone all the way to Europe to fix their relationship. If he was a mama's boy he wouldn't have seen anything wrong with what his mother was doing and has done and would not ask her (multiple times) to go to therapy with him. If he was a mama's boy he wouldn't have gone No Contact with his mother. If he was a mama's boy he would have told her off the day he went home from dinner with his mom. If he was a mama's boy he wouldn't have fought with his mother about his wife. He would have sided with his mother completely. I don't know what your definition of "mama's boy" is but that is not the case here. He's a victim of one cruel, manipulative, and narcissistic mother.
@@se7nn1120 Yes I watched to the whole video. His fiancee' was telling him about his mother & he wouldn't listen. I'm not to give any man a break when he's been warned & doesn't have enough sense that God gave a sack of beans.
I was barely 18 when my dad died of his 3rd separate cancers.. Beat the hell out of two but the third got him.... We had a huge family back then so we did have some support... After everyone left from his wake I got drunk.... Learned never to drink again.... talk about a hangover.... and he was probably laughing his ass off....
My dad was terminally ill but my mom never ever once blamed me or my baby brother for him being dead and her a widow the three of us were each other's rocks through it all and even though me and my little brother were only teenagers at the time mom was an amazing mom and dad still is
I hope adam's mother now realizes what she's done to her family. The way she's hurt her own children, she better hope she dies sooner than living alone for her life. She deserves PUNISHMENT!!
First story I am up to Spain and asking myself Why are you with this man/child? No matter how this ends you definitely should not have let yourself be treated this way. Adams dad died to get away from the mom.
After my mom died I wrote her a letter. Got out all the things I wanted to say. Let her know how much I hurt and how much I miss her. Still talk to her when I'm feeling low. Good luck and God bless.
Girl, I would've cancelled my trip if she had to go with them, your wedding, she's in control. Adam would have to go, he always gives in to her. What's he need you for?
OPs husband took extraordinary steps to save his father and it wasn't to be. Transplants are fragile things and can be unsuccessful for no reason we can understand. He fought for his father's life. He's a good man. My Mom was in the hospital and we talked on the phone. half an hour later I got a call and the a nurse asked me if the could intubate her. I had medical Power of Attorney so I needed to honour her wishes. We had talked about this at length many times. I allowed them to intubate but told them not to take extraordinary measures, no other machines. They did chest compressions but shortly after, stopped them. That was over a decade ago and I still grieve for her. We had lived together for 25 years and I miss her so very much but I am at peace with the fact that she died the way she wanted, without artificial life extension. I luv ya, Mom.
Mr. Reddito. Your stories are soooooo inspiring. So fricking real. I'm proud to be a subscriber and have the opportunity to read the stories you share with us. MIL'S SUCK!!! I had one of those too and it took me 4 yrs to finally to end my marriage as my husband was more her son than a grown man with a wife and life of his own. Where is he now you may ask, living under his mother's narcissism control. Me. I'm freaking free and happy I finally smartened up. Thank you for your stories everyday. 🙏 ❤️❤️🤗
First my condolences on the loss of his father and 2nd I'm glad you two got away from that harpie and 3th I had lots of tears and grieving and hel]p from my wife and plenty of time cause it's time that let's you deal with the loss but you will come to terms with it and relive the good times and and remember how he was there for you thru your tough times
What helped me get through losing a parent? It's weird, but when my Dad died, my sister and I both turned to watching a TV show called, "Bridezillas." Every episode focused on two or three new brides, who were all JUST AWFUL, and made me wonder about the sanity of everyone involved in supporting the wedding, and also how did women like THAT actually get a man to fall in love with them, and marry them? The men would come on camera, and say something like, "Sure, she's awful right now, but it's just the wedding nerves. She's actually a wonderful person, and not selfish, at all!" And we'd laugh, and say, "Yeah, say that again in five years. She's letting down the facade now. This is the REAL her." Anyway, somehow watching that train wreck just made it easier for me. I have NO IDEA why that is, but it worked for both of us. Just watching garbage humans be garbage. I think it was because it really drove home to us how GOOD our father was. Sure, he had his foibles, and we complained about this and that, but he was never a 'zilla of any sort, at all. Knowing that made me feel warm and fuzzy, and that helped a lot with the grief. Also, knowing that I'll see him again in Heaven, and it's just "so long," and not "goodbye," really helps, too. I couldn't bear to be an atheist, because I can't bear the thought of no heaven.
Story 1 :- When my father died, I found that thinking about all the lovely times and things we did together made it more than possible to bear. We talked, walked, laughed, enjoyed each other's company, and what helped was that I had 2 sisters and a brother to be with at that time and who I could /can share the memories with. But NO SINGING!- - - I can't sing!!! Talk to your sister, Adam, I'm sure she will love to help you share good times. Godbless you both.
I just lost my dad suddenly a few weeks ago while he was in another country. The girlfriend keeps changing info about everything and isn't forth coming on stuff we need like death certificate, important docs and for his funeral coming up at the beginning of October. I miss my dad alot and wish his girlfriend didn't make it difficult for my family to get things done and all the paperwork for everything. Including trying to figure out what she says is the truth and a lie.
Adam, I think it is fair to say that to grieve takes time under the best of circumstances, and you have not had good circumstances to process the loss of your father. Your mom is a monster of blaming you for causing your father's death. Donating a kidney is a pretty selfless and loving act. In addition, your donation was made at a risk to you, both in the surgery you had to remove your kidney, and in the fact that now with only one kidney you run a risk if you should develop problems. I am sure that if you had decided not to take the risk of donating a kidney, your mother would blame you too. You did all you could have to save your father's life. When I was 14 my mom became pregnant with my little brother and found out she had cancer of the uterus. She was told at that time that she would probably not be able to carry my brother to term. She was told her cancer was bad enough that she was risking her life even trying to carry my brother to term. And that her waiting another 8 months would probably make it so even if she had my brother, she would die of cancer shortly afterwards. My mom carried through with the pregnancy, had my brother and 6 weeks later had a hysterectomy. She was given 5 years, even with chemo and radiation. Well, her doctor had a heart attack and died, and she never had further treatment. My mom did die of cancer, when my youngest brother was 33 years old. Not uterine cancer either. It was lung cancer. Our toxic father actually stood in the hallway of the hospital when we got the news she only had 3 to 6 months and yelled at my brother for being the reason my mom was going to die and told him he wished she had aborted him because he was the reason she was dying I personally have always been grateful to my little brother because if my mom had not been pragnate she would not have went to the doctor and I would have not even been out of high school when she died. I shared this story to let you know that you are not the reason your father died Adam. It is quite possible he had a bit more time than he would have if you had not been there to gift him with your kidney. I believe even if your father had gotten out of the hospital, lived a few years after the operation, then passed because of a stroke or heart attack she would have found a way to blame you. Toxic people are abusers, and they use whatever is at hand to hurt the people unlucky enough to love them or be involved in their life. As far as how to grieve, I can only say we all do that in our own way and at our own time. I can tell you that without the toxic environment you mother has kept you in you will find your way out of the grief and sadness and into a place of acceptance. I still think about my mom, and she died over 22 years ago. But most of the time her memories bring me a smile, comfort and warmth. I still have times I wish I could talk to her, or wish she had lived to see my grandchildren, but the pain has been replaced with a gratefulness for the lessons she taught me and the memories I have of her.
OP needs to dump the mamas boy, split their assets but include the fact that he already gave away $25,000 sell the house and run away. Run long run fast and run far. This woman is never going to let you have a married life
Mama's Boy does not sound like husband material. She is going to be the third wheel in this marriage. Sucks that she did not see the red flags. I don't see this post ending well
I lost my mother at 6. So I can't help you. However I've had friends that wrote to their deceased parent friend folded it and put it in a ceremonial fire. Prayers were said or a short meditation
It is hard for me to believe a grown man couldn't see his mother for what she was, but okay, glad it ended well for them. Regarding my parents (now deceased) I mostly feel indifferent. I suffered many beatings and whippings growing up and had to fight them physically in my teen years. They even had me put in jail. We became okay with each other before they died but, emotionally, I didn't really suffer over their deaths.
time is really the only way to heal from a loss of a loved one. It does get better. I still miss my parents but I do not cry over it any more. I lost my dad when I was 15 and my mom when I was 40. Both was hard to get through but time really does heal the pain. You will always miss them but good memories and acceptance will replace the pain of the loss.
Oh both of my parents died when they were very young dad was 63 and mom was 69. I wrote each of them letters and I journaled and I got therapy because I miss them so much and because they were both sick before they passed away. That helped me a lot. Also being able to talk to my friends how about my parents helped too
Since OP asked. For her father now: make sure you say thank you and I love you. Make sure all things that need to be said have been.... For his father, the analogy that Abdu'l-Baha (son of the founder of the Baha'i Faith) seemed best: When in this world, the soul and body are like a bird in a cage. At the death of the body, the spirit will be able to soar freely in the next world, free of the limitations of this world, just as the bird can soar free once the cage is broken. The Baha'i Faith also teaches that ties of love are eternal. These ideas helped me through the passing of my parents and other relatives.
I believe my passed family are watching our lives, I’ve had a few strange moments. 1- when I and my husband were on our silver wedding anniversary in Vegas, we walked through a book shop on the way to buy my birthday gift. This was 29 years after I lost my Dad. There at the other door was a huge display of his favourite author. He liked cowboy stories and films. I hadn’t seen any of these books since not long after he passed. 2- not long after I started at my most recent job, on my Dad’s anniversary I saw Donny Osmond on TV, (Turns out it’s Donny’s birthday). The next day at work I thought I wonder if my late sister had been watching from in heaven within seconds, the lady doing reductions shouted anyone wanting my sister’s favourite biscuits. 3- I was going to be in the room whilst my youngest grandchild was being born. When on the way to the hospital, I thought I wonder if my sister knew what was happening, in the next second again Donny was on the radio. Strange coincidence or “Hello” from heaven. If it’s not hurting you then why not accept the Hello from Heaven. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I lost my mom in 2015. My dad in 2019. My husband in 2013 and his father in 2014 and a much loved first cousin in 2014. I lost five amazing people in such a short time. Abet it been a few years since their passing, but it seems like it was only yesterday, I was talking to each and every one of them. I miss them so much on some days, I don't even bother getting out of bed, but those type of moments are few and far between, now. When his dad passes, let him know, that it is okay to cry and to mourn. To get angry or be sad, as it is the normal way of grieving. I wasn't allowed to cry in public or grieve, as it would shame the deceased person. RIP my beloved family and husband. I miss you all so very much.
I’m so very sorry for your many losses. I lost 5, including my husband and son, between 2018 and 2020. I get it. Fortunately for me, there was nothing in my background which suggested disrespect in public grieving, not that I did that a lot, it just wasn’t a burden. As it happens, I am a believer in Jesus and his message, which is a huge comfort for me. Like you, I still have my days of not bothering to get out of bed. RIP to your, and my, beloved family. Best to you.
@@Hillybilly-Gal You’re so very welcome. We’re here for one another. If you’re ever ‘that low,’ or ‘whatever,’ please reach out. Just remind my of who you are if you do! 🥴
My father has passed away 34 years ago. He got to meet my son before he passed. I named him after my dad its still hard I miss him every day but it does get better. When I watch John Wayne he there watching with me, when I go fly fishing he is there too. Dad taught me when I was young. I wish him Happy birthday to him and happy anniversary to him and my mom who is still with me. 72 years she never married again my father is her forever. Try things his father liked or did. But tell your new husband it will get better and it's not his fault his dad passed away because of health not him. You two Rock!
Adam needs to not think of the bad times he needs to remember all his good times with his dad it's what helped me with my mom and dad when I lost them me and my brother and sister would get together and we laughed and remembered the good times we had maybe Adam and his sister need to get together and remember all the good times with their dad
Either MIL gets a grip on reality and accepts the fact that her son is going to get married to his longtime girlfriend and she won't be at the receiving end of so much attention. MIL sounds like a selfish child who's unwillingness to deal with reality is either going to push her son away or OP might have to cut off her relationship off with her boyfriend especially if he sides with his mother. Hopefully he'll be on OP's side and tell his mother she's not in control of his life,and he and OP will be able to have a life together without interference from mom. Mom/MIL needs a friend and some mental health help. 💝💝🙂
He did cut ties with his mom or should I say incubator, and honestly, after what his incubator did to him after his father died, I think she deserves to be all alone.
He did cut ties with his mom or should I say incubator, and honestly, after what his incubator did to him after his father died, I think she deserves to be all alone.
He did cut ties with his mom or should I say incubator, and honestly, after what his incubator did to him after his father died, I think she deserves to be all alone.
He did cut ties with his mom or should I say incubator, and honestly, after what his incubator did to him after his father died, I think she deserves to be all alone.
Op is totally at fault for all of this. If she had dumped Adam at the second or third incident when Adam proved that was a momma’s boy and totally unable to man-up and commit to Op.
If someone "tries" to commit suicide because of a relationship issue, you know it's an emotional blackmail. Telle them "next time, don't miss" and don't engage further in their reason, feelings or thoughts... I promise you, it will be the last time they pull something like that.
If my in laws did a suicide attempt for attention I'd challenge them to do it to see if they have the balls to do it especially if they are abusive people
Learn to say no to the husbands demands for his mother. Stop being a second class love. Get out. Sell the house to pay off all debts. Never be a second class person or second class love.
Story 1, yeah the narcissist egg donor was really losing it because she KNEW her control over her son was diminishing. So her solution was to try to get rid of op and break the engagement. Jokes on her since they got back together and her son gave her an ultimatum. Apparently after that she tried one last ditch effort to gain control of her son was by trying suicide. Now that the egg donner has realized that she's lost she's going to try to do her daughter. Yeah, that's not gonna go over well for her.
I can't believe the guilt trip she put on him.. What a horrible person that mother is!! To say something like that to your son is just disgusting... No wonder the sister left!! She better give the damn money back for the windows too!!
@@Swnsasy I severely doubt she will unless op and her husband sue her for it in small claims court. Yeah, it's horrible to hear how bad a narcissist can be.
@@Swnsasy I honestly don't expect her to do that bare minimum at this point. And you're absolutely right. That birth giver is absolutely disgusting and despicable!😡 She deserves to be all alone. She could've gone to therapy if she was that broken over her husband's death(I'd personally like for my parents and siblings to stage an intervention to at least pressure me to get therapy if something like that happened to me)! Even if Adam was being a doormat, he's essentially been blamed by his mom for his dad's death when he was only trying to help. And that destroyed him and his self worth. That birth giver of his will definitely have something to answer for when her time comes.
OP, why did you consent to stay alone while your fiance stayed with his awful mother? I'd have just gone home and left him to her machinations. You don't need "more family time" with her -- what you need is to go low contact or no contact at all. She's too controlling and too intrusive for any woman to deal with. And if your fiance keep catering to her spite, dump him.
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I just know, deep in my soul, that if Op did "skip a step" in getting ready for dinner like he asked, the mom would have been like "Look at her, she doesn't even put in enough effort in her appearance so you aren't embarrassed out in public with her. That's not something you want in a wife." I can just feel it in my bones.
Exactly my thoughts too!!
🎯😭🤣
I agree as well! Oh yeah I do!!!😊
I still can't believe a grown man didn't see what his mother was up to.
YUP!!
When my friend got married, his MIL (who lived about 3 hours away) would regularly phone to say she was about to hang herself if her daughter didn't come 'home'. It stopped when he asked her to wait a few hours until he could get there to kick the chair from under her.
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
People underestimate how powerful narcissistic parents are. OP's fiancé wasn't a "momma's boy" but his mother used the death of his father to shame him into getting whatever she wanted. She was a master manipulator and knew what buttons to push to control her son. That's why he paid for his mom's windows, went out to dinners without OP, basically excluded OP from the trip, etc.
It's good OP's fiancé was able to acknowledge these toxic behaviors and cut ties with his mom.
Oh please, she milked that for a decade. He's spineless and doesn't actually care about his fiancee. She will ruin any relationship. He will be tied to her forever and he deserves it.
@@paulagoeringer9466Insult and victim blame all want, but I'm telling the truth. You'll understand when you're in a narcissistic relationship and then have people treat you the same you you treated him.
@@amyyaku5022 really? You don't know shit about me. Don't talk like you do. I know more about narcissists than you. I survived them. My child survived them. As in literally survived murder attempts. Had to have surgery because of. Also, work on your comprehension skills as well as your social skills. They're both lacking. Empathy too.🌹
It baffles me that she was able to convince him that his kidney donation killed his father. His father's body killed his father. His father's body would have rejected ANY donation, at that point, if it rejected his own son's. That DNA is pretty close, after all.
Organ transplants are ALWAYS HIGH RISK. And it's not the fault of the person donating the organ. They go through a rigorous screening process. It's just that some bodies WILL NOT accept a transplant.
The mother is horrific to pull that and make her son feel that. SHAME!
@@amyyaku5022 Coddle and infantilize all you want. Adults are still accountable for their poor choices. Mom only had power over fiance, because he gave it to her repeatedly. And don't assume you're the only one with toxic or narcissistic parents either.
adam is not "momma boy" in general sense. He was groomed and brainwashed by his terrible mother. That's the reason why in this case i fully support OP in repairing relashionship with him.
I agree with you. I don't think Adam is a Mama's boy either. know some people can't stand spineless people who can't or won't stand up for themselves like spineless Mama's boys and to tell you the truth, even I have my limits with those kind of people(And I usually try to be as understanding as I can possibly be) and yes you should know how to stand up for yourself and make good decisions for yourself and your loved ones as much as possible, but we tend to underestimate just how powerful abusers and narcissists can be when they've completely brainwashed and broken their target. Sometimes, they need some outside help to escape. If OP did leave(not that I'm saying she'd be wrong if she left), Adam would still suffering at the hands of his narcissistic birth giver and she would continue to chase away any rescuers that may come his way until his mother finally succeeded in making her son a shell of his old self. Whether she was still alive or had died. All that being said, Adam is an adult now, and he needs to keep those boundaries he has in place and he needs to focus on himself and OP. Moving forward, he needs to continue to grow. I think therapy is definitely a good idea. And he definitely needs to stay NO CONTACT with his birth giver, permanently. Letting her back in will likely cause him to relapse, like a recovering addict or a recovering alcoholic slipping back into old habits. Adam has come this far and so has OP and I really hope they make it! ❤️
At the wedding pause and step back grab mom's hand and take her up to him and say I hope your happy together!
Mil blamed her son for his father's death in order to monopolize and control him? Thats.....I'm not even sure narcissism is the correct word to describe that. That's something even worse.
Maybe Dark Triad. I'm not sure though.
Give him back the ring and don't look back. Why do women like this never see the RED FLAGS waving brighter hen the sun.
Good Grief! Adam was very fortunate to have someone in his corner like OP and I wish them both every blessing and happiness as they deserve it. ❤🎉❤
I lost my father due to motorcycle accident back in 2021, I am still grieving. I talk with my family and therapist and write in a journal and I take one step at a time.
I am a witch and the philosophy behind my belief system got me through the deaths of my oldest sons in car crashes a year apart. It gave me comfort. I won't try to explain it. but when push comes to shove, it was a godsend to have comfort. Especially knowing that my boys are happy and healthy on the other side. I will be with them when I am transiting after my own death. it will be awesome to see my family again. None of us will ever be tossed away or sent to hell because there isn't one. Nobody is sent to hell, no matter what. Everybody is going to the summerlands with comfort and love. each of us will review their lives and heal it. May you all have blessings showered on you with blessings heaped down on you to comfort you!
His mother is a monster. Unfortunately narcissistic people have no insight or empathy. What this man has gone through has been horrific and damaging to his psychic. I’m glad is is going to be able to appropriately grieve for his father as he never did. OP both of you have gone through the ringer and the fact that you are processing this together is a powerful bonding experience. He will take a long time and therapy to come to terms with what his mother did to him. But with you in his corner he’s won half the battle. Here is wishing you a harmonious respectful and happy marriage. Both of you deserve happiness. 🌹💐👍
My father died when I was 13 years old. He had brain cancer. This was in 1973, at that time the focus of the doctor and hospital was to prevent drug addiction and thus my father was only given the minimum amount of pain medication and his pain was very intense.
My family all had issues with the grieving process and this has molded my heart to try to honor what he taught me about being kind and giving. Later in my health care career I worked as a Hospice nurse. When asked by some of my patients or their families why I worked with Hospice I told them about my father and that I never wanted anyone to go through seeing their loved one being frightened or in unrelieved pain, also to empower the family when I know they feel powerless to alter the course of whatever disease is taking the one they love. Although I know you can’t change the past you can affect the future and bring peace and closure, one person at a time.
Less your heart. This touched me. My Mom was not in pain at the end thankfully. You have gone on to help others from your experience.
My grandparents raised me and when I lost my Nana (aka mom), to lung/bone cancer, (I was the one taking care of her and I watched her walk into the house and 12 days later they carried her out in a body bag) my husband and I didn't really know how her passing would effect me. I have some issues. What kept me going were my kids. I had an almost 1 yr old and a 7 yr old, i had to keep going for them. Getting up and taking care of them. You'll never really get over the loss, u just learn to live with the pain.
It gets better ❤
The only thing with Grief is time
This hurts my heart. I've been bullied, controlled hated abused, and traumatized by my mom all my life. Till this day I'm scared of my mom. No matter what she did say and what she still saying to me and what she done and still doing to me I'll always love her. It's so bad I feel my mom hates me. I'm 40 and I'm still scared of her. She hates my hobbies, she hates that I talk about wanting to write a book, "oh good luck with athat your going to need it, it's already a million writers in this world. She hates that I have kids, she rolls her eyes at me just for having a general conversation! She hates everything I do. She tells me I need to stop eating. I'm very ill and when we go to my doc she will cut my docs conversation off and say "so what about me" I'm so embarrassed, I can't even talk to doc about me it's always about her. I would tell her about my meds and why I've gained weight. She yells and says no that's not it. I said but my doc said it, mom says don't listen to your doc, they're wrong. When mom hears it from the doc her jaw drops with a gasp. She would go a say things like "oh yeah I'm very smart I know everything " when I'm diagnosed, mom will say "I got what you got then" I told her these illnesses are mostly due to chemo and radiation, mom have you had liters,, gallons,, tubs of chemo stuffed in your veins I don't know about? She gets quite. Ive been sick most of my life.I forgot to pay my phone bill, only one time. My brother won't pay so she says nothing and pays it for him but she yells at me like I'm nothing saying "slow irresponsible one.. she love to say you will fall on your face. As a teen she says your 2 cent job won't pay for anything anyway. I was on my way to work and she called saying my brother needs the car to go to work, he worked in a restaurant like me, that's when she yelled at me about 2 cents. It hurt and still hurts so bad living like that. I barely talk to her my whole life. She always wonder why am I so passive so coy. I moved out back in 05 and didn't tell her. Before that, mom told me to move out in 2 days. I said we have nowhere to go. She said my boyfriends daughter needs my room so find you somewhere to go. So in a month I found an apartment and I told her, she said why would you move out when you can live here free? I lacked emotions so I didn't understand it. I figured it out that again her boyfriend moved out, again and again again always. When I moved out I didn't see or talk to mom much in 10 yrs. After 10 yrs I was every name in the book, it's worst than ever, like damn!! To be continued.
One thing that helped me to deal with the passing of my birth mother was talking to someone at my church because I didn't know how to feel because she was majorly abuse of. The nice lady I spoke to helped a lot. I also recommend that you talk to someone at your church it is also Free
Imagine giving your dying father a kidney to try and save his life and his body rejects it and your mom blames you for trying that mother is toxic af
I know right? That's why I can't help but feel sorry for Adam. Sure, he made poor choices and he shouldn't have let his birth giver have so much power over him of course, but at the same time he was destroyed by his birth giver when she blamed him for his father's death and he actually believed that she was right.
Not I'm not trying to accuse those who were exhausted by Adam's lack of spine of victim blaming because they do have some valid points. There's victims of abuse who were able to open their eyes quickly and cut ties with toxic family almost immediately. And narcissistic mothers always hate people(especially partners)who come between her and her children because they could take them away from her, meaning she loses the very power and control that's she's clearly obsessed with. If it wasn't OP, it would have been someone else and he needs to stand up for himself, not to mention he let his incubator abuse OP as well but too often, we tend to underestimate just how powerful a narcissist/abuser is when they've essentially brainwashed or broken their poor victim, especially if it's their own children. That's why I'm far more angry at the abuser than I am at the victim because I know not everyone had the chance to grow a spine growing up, especially if they were raised by narcissists/abusers.
I freaked out for a minute the like button wasn't there lol. I've heard this story before, I'm glad Adam distanced himself from his mother. Poor guy
To remember loved ones who have died, try to remember the time spent with them, the good times, the funny times, write them down if you can. Ask his friends or relatives to recount personal stories about your father too…. Get pictures of him from people, and ask them about when the picture was taken. Reminiscing is a good way to help healing.
After my parents died I went through as many pictures of them as I could. I also wrote a journal, for a while, of all of the good memories I could remember that I had with them. I would write down any bad memories I had on a piece of paper and when I felt I had everything written down about a particular bad memory that had come up I would burn it. It helped me through those memories. I kept the journal of the good memories and if I feel like I am really missing either one of them I pull the journal out to reread it and may add some more memories that I hadn’t written down beforehand. This is comforting. It’s also still helpful to still write down then burn the difficult memories I had from early childhood up until they passed away. In addition to this I visit their gravesites if I still find myself missing them a lot. It happens A LOT LESS OFTEN than it used to. It’s actually down to once or twice a year now.
For me preparing and eating his favorite food with any Indiana Jones movie, by far our favorite movies
If I was op I would cancel the trip and go back home and wait until Adam decide if he wants to be in a relationship with me or his mommy story 1
If they pulled that, I would cuss them both out so badly their faces would blister. Then cancel and go home dumping the weak idiot. No one has time for that nonsense. Life is too short to put up with an anchor of a mil around your neck.
Omg op is a doormat, I don't get how people can be so blind, she is not a priority to her fiance and she just takes it
When Dad died in 1981, Mom had the paperwork burden. I was cleaning up my room for guests and saw my then-new copy of DANSE MACABRE by Stephen King. That funny non-fiction book about horror fiction helped keep me going. When Mom died in 1999, I was her executrix, so I had all that paperwork to focus on.
Nta. If she has that much money to buy all that stuff. No one and I mean no one should be giving her a dime to cover a thing.
The main thing that has helped me through grieving the loss of my parents (mom, dad, step dad) & sister is reminding myself that they are no longer sick and/or in pain. Gentle hugs & love to those out there who are going through this...........
I would t even tell her wen I was going on holiday, nor would I tell her about the wedding till it was too late for her to interfere
Adam might be wrong about his mother being a narcissist I think sociopath is more accurate
It’s so hard to lose a parent. I’m just thankful we knew it was coming (lung cancer) and I got to spend lots of time with her before she passed. This was March 2014, and I still pick up the phone to call her, then I remember. Just know you gave your father a few extra months. You took nothing away from him.
If my FMIL was planning a wedding I didn't want, I'd insist that we secretly get married in Vegas right away. I would have turned around and gone back home after the BS in Spain
OP's husband is a momma's boy all the way. What kind of man leaves his fiancee alone on the plane and worse to stay in that apartment by herself on their vacation
At that point, I'd give him back the ring. His mother guilt tripped him. He's a mama's boy.
Didn't you listen to the whole thing? His mother manipulated her and made feel him like he's obligated to do all these things because, according to his mother, he "killed" his father.
If he was a mama's boy then he wouldn't have gone all the way to Europe to fix their relationship.
If he was a mama's boy he wouldn't have seen anything wrong with what his mother was doing and has done and would not ask her (multiple times) to go to therapy with him.
If he was a mama's boy he wouldn't have gone No Contact with his mother.
If he was a mama's boy he would have told her off the day he went home from dinner with his mom.
If he was a mama's boy he wouldn't have fought with his mother about his wife. He would have sided with his mother completely.
I don't know what your definition of "mama's boy" is but that is not the case here.
He's a victim of one cruel, manipulative, and narcissistic mother.
@@se7nn1120 Yes I watched to the whole video. His fiancee' was telling him about his mother & he wouldn't listen. I'm not to give any man a break when he's been warned & doesn't have enough sense that God gave a sack of beans.
Leave this man
I was barely 18 when my dad died of his 3rd separate cancers.. Beat the hell out of two but the third got him.... We had a huge family back then so we did have some support... After everyone left from his wake I got drunk.... Learned never to drink again.... talk about a hangover.... and he was probably laughing his ass off....
My dad was terminally ill but my mom never ever once blamed me or my baby brother for him being dead and her a widow the three of us were each other's rocks through it all and even though me and my little brother were only teenagers at the time mom was an amazing mom and dad still is
I hope adam's mother now realizes what she's done to her family. The way she's hurt her own children, she better hope she dies sooner than living alone for her life. She deserves PUNISHMENT!!
I would be extremely creeped out of someone to showed up especially when I told them to do different
First story I am up to Spain and asking myself Why are you with this man/child? No matter how this ends you definitely should not have let yourself be treated this way.
Adams dad died to get away from the mom.
After my mom died I wrote her a letter. Got out all the things I wanted to say. Let her know how much I hurt and how much I miss her. Still talk to her when I'm feeling low. Good luck and God bless.
I love what you did! A letter and photos to grieve his Dad would be an amazing idea. Stories and memories shared.
Only if she paid for herself, flight, room & food! Emotional blackmail isn’t a need or a want, it’s a demand!
Girl, I would've cancelled my trip if she had to go with them, your wedding, she's in control. Adam would have to go, he always gives in to her. What's he need you for?
OPs husband took extraordinary steps to save his father and it wasn't to be. Transplants are fragile things and can be unsuccessful for no reason we can understand. He fought for his father's life. He's a good man.
My Mom was in the hospital and we talked on the phone. half an hour later I got a call and the a nurse asked me if the could intubate her. I had medical Power of Attorney so I needed to honour her wishes. We had talked about this at length many times. I allowed them to intubate but told them not to take extraordinary measures, no other machines. They did chest compressions but shortly after, stopped them.
That was over a decade ago and I still grieve for her. We had lived together for 25 years and I miss her so very much but I am at peace with the fact that she died the way she wanted, without artificial life extension. I luv ya, Mom.
Prayers for Op and her husband, wishing them a happy blessed life together and prayers to Adam's father 🙏🙏🎉🌹🙏🙏🙏
Say goodbye. Better off without him and his preferred woman
No contact!! Yay! I get along well with my Mama!!❤️❤️
Mr. Reddito. Your stories are soooooo inspiring. So fricking real. I'm proud to be a subscriber and have the opportunity to read the stories you share with us. MIL'S SUCK!!! I had one of those too and it took me 4 yrs to finally to end my marriage as my husband was more her son than a grown man with a wife and life of his own. Where is he now you may ask, living under his mother's narcissism control. Me. I'm freaking free and happy I finally smartened up. Thank you for your stories everyday. 🙏 ❤️❤️🤗
I still grieve the loss of my beloved father and he died in 92
First my condolences on the loss of his father and 2nd I'm glad you two got away from that harpie and 3th I had lots of tears and grieving and hel]p from my wife and plenty of time cause it's time that let's you deal with the loss but you will come to terms with it and relive the good times and and remember how he was there for you thru your tough times
What helped me get through losing a parent?
It's weird, but when my Dad died, my sister and I both turned to watching a TV show called, "Bridezillas." Every episode focused on two or three new brides, who were all JUST AWFUL, and made me wonder about the sanity of everyone involved in supporting the wedding, and also how did women like THAT actually get a man to fall in love with them, and marry them? The men would come on camera, and say something like, "Sure, she's awful right now, but it's just the wedding nerves. She's actually a wonderful person, and not selfish, at all!" And we'd laugh, and say, "Yeah, say that again in five years. She's letting down the facade now. This is the REAL her."
Anyway, somehow watching that train wreck just made it easier for me. I have NO IDEA why that is, but it worked for both of us. Just watching garbage humans be garbage.
I think it was because it really drove home to us how GOOD our father was. Sure, he had his foibles, and we complained about this and that, but he was never a 'zilla of any sort, at all. Knowing that made me feel warm and fuzzy, and that helped a lot with the grief.
Also, knowing that I'll see him again in Heaven, and it's just "so long," and not "goodbye," really helps, too. I couldn't bear to be an atheist, because I can't bear the thought of no heaven.
Story 1 :- When my father died, I found that thinking about all the lovely times and things we did together made it more than possible to bear. We talked, walked, laughed, enjoyed each other's company, and what helped was that I had 2 sisters and a brother to be with at that time and who I could /can share the memories with. But NO SINGING!- - - I can't sing!!! Talk to your sister, Adam, I'm sure she will love to help you share good times. Godbless you both.
Heard this story at least 5 to 6 mths ago , she went to Spain to her parents. The rest is history
I see a parade coming down the street with everyone in it waving BIG RED FLAGS!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
"You're too good for a big wedding?!"........whaaaat in the world?
I just lost my dad suddenly a few weeks ago while he was in another country. The girlfriend keeps changing info about everything and isn't forth coming on stuff we need like death certificate, important docs and for his funeral coming up at the beginning of October.
I miss my dad alot and wish his girlfriend didn't make it difficult for my family to get things done and all the paperwork for everything. Including trying to figure out what she says is the truth and a lie.
Dude!!!! WTF is wrong with you!!! Get rid of the mama's boy fiancee'!!!! Adam is going to be a bad husband.
My father passed away August 10th 2022 thankfully I have a great family and a supporting wife still hurts
Adam, I think it is fair to say that to grieve takes time under the best of circumstances, and you have not had good circumstances to process the loss of your father. Your mom is a monster of blaming you for causing your father's death. Donating a kidney is a pretty selfless and loving act. In addition, your donation was made at a risk to you, both in the surgery you had to remove your kidney, and in the fact that now with only one kidney you run a risk if you should develop problems. I am sure that if you had decided not to take the risk of donating a kidney, your mother would blame you too. You did all you could have to save your father's life. When I was 14 my mom became pregnant with my little brother and found out she had cancer of the uterus. She was told at that time that she would probably not be able to carry my brother to term. She was told her cancer was bad enough that she was risking her life even trying to carry my brother to term. And that her waiting another 8 months would probably make it so even if she had my brother, she would die of cancer shortly afterwards. My mom carried through with the pregnancy, had my brother and 6 weeks later had a hysterectomy. She was given 5 years, even with chemo and radiation. Well, her doctor had a heart attack and died, and she never had further treatment. My mom did die of cancer, when my youngest brother was 33 years old. Not uterine cancer either. It was lung cancer. Our toxic father actually stood in the hallway of the hospital when we got the news she only had 3 to 6 months and yelled at my brother for being the reason my mom was going to die and told him he wished she had aborted him because he was the reason she was dying I personally have always been grateful to my little brother because if my mom had not been pragnate she would not have went to the doctor and I would have not even been out of high school when she died.
I shared this story to let you know that you are not the reason your father died Adam. It is quite possible he had a bit more time than he would have if you had not been there to gift him with your kidney. I believe even if your father had gotten out of the hospital, lived a few years after the operation, then passed because of a stroke or heart attack she would have found a way to blame you. Toxic people are abusers, and they use whatever is at hand to hurt the people unlucky enough to love them or be involved in their life. As far as how to grieve, I can only say we all do that in our own way and at our own time. I can tell you that without the toxic environment you mother has kept you in you will find your way out of the grief and sadness and into a place of acceptance. I still think about my mom, and she died over 22 years ago. But most of the time her memories bring me a smile, comfort and warmth. I still have times I wish I could talk to her, or wish she had lived to see my grandchildren, but the pain has been replaced with a gratefulness for the lessons she taught me and the memories I have of her.
What is this story and how did OP and Adam, who is a coward btw, even let this happen? Repeat after me people, It is okay to say NO!
❤️❤️❤️Hope they will be able to live happily now
OP needs to dump the mamas boy, split their assets but include the fact that he already gave away $25,000 sell the house and run away. Run long run fast and run far. This woman is never going to let you have a married life
Mama's Boy does not sound like husband material. She is going to be the third wheel in this marriage. Sucks that she did not see the red flags. I don't see this post ending well
I lost my mother at 6. So I can't help you. However I've had friends that wrote to their deceased parent friend folded it and put it in a ceremonial fire. Prayers were said or a short meditation
It is hard for me to believe a grown man couldn't see his mother for what she was, but okay, glad it ended well for them. Regarding my parents (now deceased) I mostly feel indifferent. I suffered many beatings and whippings growing up and had to fight them physically in my teen years. They even had me put in jail. We became okay with each other before they died but, emotionally, I didn't really suffer over their deaths.
time is really the only way to heal from a loss of a loved one. It does get better. I still miss my parents but I do not cry over it any more. I lost my dad when I was 15 and my mom when I was 40. Both was hard to get through but time really does heal the pain. You will always miss them but good memories and acceptance will replace the pain of the loss.
I’ll have to remember that “What the duck” thing! 😆
He should have been told to go to therapy first before any marriage plans
When my father died, I had to take care of my mother, on the other hand when my mother died I had my older brother to help me with everything.
in the 1958 movie Gigi, there was a line about a drama queen who attempted suicide. What with? an insufficient dose of ....
Oh both of my parents died when they were very young dad was 63 and mom was 69. I wrote each of them letters and I journaled and I got therapy because I miss them so much and because they were both sick before they passed away. That helped me a lot. Also being able to talk to my friends how about my parents helped too
The only reason you had time with him in the past, was because his mother wasn't there. He knows his mother is roadblocking his happiness.
Since OP asked. For her father now: make sure you say thank you and I love you. Make sure all things that need to be said have been.... For his father, the analogy that Abdu'l-Baha (son of the founder of the Baha'i Faith) seemed best: When in this world, the soul and body are like a bird in a cage. At the death of the body, the spirit will be able to soar freely in the next world, free of the limitations of this world, just as the bird can soar free once the cage is broken. The Baha'i Faith also teaches that ties of love are eternal. These ideas helped me through the passing of my parents and other relatives.
Love your channels!!💯❤❤❤
I believe my passed family are watching our lives, I’ve had a few strange moments. 1- when I and my husband were on our silver wedding anniversary in Vegas, we walked through a book shop on the way to buy my birthday gift. This was 29 years after I lost my Dad. There at the other door was a huge display of his favourite author. He liked cowboy stories and films. I hadn’t seen any of these books since not long after he passed. 2- not long after I started at my most recent job, on my Dad’s anniversary I saw Donny Osmond on TV, (Turns out it’s Donny’s birthday). The next day at work I thought I wonder if my late sister had been watching from in heaven within seconds, the lady doing reductions shouted anyone wanting my sister’s favourite biscuits. 3- I was going to be in the room whilst my youngest grandchild was being born. When on the way to the hospital, I thought I wonder if my sister knew what was happening, in the next second again Donny was on the radio. Strange coincidence or “Hello” from heaven. If it’s not hurting you then why not accept the Hello from Heaven. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I lost my mom in 2015. My dad in 2019. My husband in 2013 and his father in 2014 and a much loved first cousin in 2014. I lost five amazing people in such a short time. Abet it been a few years since their passing, but it seems like it was only yesterday, I was talking to each and every one of them. I miss them so much on some days, I don't even bother getting out of bed, but those type of moments are few and far between, now. When his dad passes, let him know, that it is okay to cry and to mourn. To get angry or be sad, as it is the normal way of grieving. I wasn't allowed to cry in public or grieve, as it would shame the deceased person. RIP my beloved family and husband. I miss you all so very much.
I’m so very sorry for your many losses. I lost 5, including my husband and son, between 2018 and 2020. I get it. Fortunately for me, there was nothing in my background which suggested disrespect in public grieving, not that I did that a lot, it just wasn’t a burden. As it happens, I am a believer in Jesus and his message, which is a huge comfort for me. Like you, I still have my days of not bothering to get out of bed. RIP to your, and my, beloved family. Best to you.
@@naturalPaths Thank so very much!
@@Hillybilly-Gal You’re so very welcome. We’re here for one another. If you’re ever ‘that low,’ or ‘whatever,’ please reach out. Just remind my of who you are if you do! 🥴
1st story.....you should leave him.
Holy shit these ppl are wealthy as hell!
My father has passed away 34 years ago. He got to meet my son before he passed. I named him after my dad its still hard I miss him every day but it does get better. When I watch John Wayne he there watching with me, when I go fly fishing he is there too. Dad taught me when I was young. I wish him Happy birthday to him and happy anniversary to him and my mom who is still with me. 72 years she never married again my father is her forever. Try things his father liked or did. But tell your new husband it will get better and it's not his fault his dad passed away because of health not him. You two Rock!
If this story were even one bit real, then OP is a top world class doormat.
I could swear I’ve heard me Reddito narrate this story before..
Adam needs to not think of the bad times he needs to remember all his good times with his dad it's what helped me with my mom and dad when I lost them me and my brother and sister would get together and we laughed and remembered the good times we had maybe Adam and his sister need to get together and remember all the good times with their dad
Either MIL gets a grip on reality and accepts the fact that her son is going to get married to his longtime girlfriend and she won't be at the receiving end of so much attention. MIL sounds like a selfish child who's unwillingness to deal with reality is either going to push her son away or OP might have to cut off her relationship off with her boyfriend especially if he sides with his mother. Hopefully he'll be on OP's side and tell his mother she's not in control of his life,and he and OP will be able to have a life together without interference from mom. Mom/MIL needs a friend and some mental health help. 💝💝🙂
He did cut ties with his mom or should I say incubator, and honestly, after what his incubator did to him after his father died, I think she deserves to be all alone.
He did cut ties with his mom or should I say incubator, and honestly, after what his incubator did to him after his father died, I think she deserves to be all alone.
He did cut ties with his mom or should I say incubator, and honestly, after what his incubator did to him after his father died, I think she deserves to be all alone.
He did cut ties with his mom or should I say incubator, and honestly, after what his incubator did to him after his father died, I think she deserves to be all alone.
When hearing this story I thought it's a mamma's boy story, I glad op partner/husband grown shiny spinal.
Op needs to run.
Tell him to marry his mother!
Op is totally at fault for all of this. If she had dumped Adam at the second or third incident when Adam proved that was a momma’s boy and totally unable to man-up and commit to Op.
If someone "tries" to commit suicide because of a relationship issue, you know it's an emotional blackmail. Telle them "next time, don't miss" and don't engage further in their reason, feelings or thoughts... I promise you, it will be the last time they pull something like that.
If my in laws did a suicide attempt for attention I'd challenge them to do it to see if they have the balls to do it especially if they are abusive people
Learn to say no to the husbands demands for his mother.
Stop being a second class love.
Get out. Sell the house to pay off all debts.
Never be a second class person or second class love.
OP the second he went up into 1st class with her you should've started divorce.
You need to think about this wedding.
Yeah Narcisst are "SO fun[sarcastically speaking]. My "dad" is a Sociopath-Narcisst" and my sister's ex-husband a straight up Narcisst.
I've heard this stort a lot.
Wow...don't get married. He's a mamma's boy and mil is a manipulated
Great read
You'll NEVER get an even shake by a mama's boy. Trust me on this. 48 years! BELIEVE ME! Dump him.
Story 1, yeah the narcissist egg donor was really losing it because she KNEW her control over her son was diminishing. So her solution was to try to get rid of op and break the engagement. Jokes on her since they got back together and her son gave her an ultimatum. Apparently after that she tried one last ditch effort to gain control of her son was by trying suicide. Now that the egg donner has realized that she's lost she's going to try to do her daughter. Yeah, that's not gonna go over well for her.
I can't believe the guilt trip she put on him.. What a horrible person that mother is!! To say something like that to your son is just disgusting... No wonder the sister left!! She better give the damn money back for the windows too!!
@@Swnsasy I severely doubt she will unless op and her husband sue her for it in small claims court. Yeah, it's horrible to hear how bad a narcissist can be.
@@Swnsasy I honestly don't expect her to do that bare minimum at this point. And you're absolutely right. That birth giver is absolutely disgusting and despicable!😡 She deserves to be all alone. She could've gone to therapy if she was that broken over her husband's death(I'd personally like for my parents and siblings to stage an intervention to at least pressure me to get therapy if something like that happened to me)! Even if Adam was being a doormat, he's essentially been blamed by his mom for his dad's death when he was only trying to help. And that destroyed him and his self worth. That birth giver of his will definitely have something to answer for when her time comes.
OP, why did you consent to stay alone while your fiance stayed with his awful mother? I'd have just gone home and left him to her machinations. You don't need "more family time" with her -- what you need is to go low contact or no contact at all. She's too controlling and too intrusive for any woman to deal with. And if your fiance keep catering to her spite, dump him.
Damn Jocasta complex
never.....Ever.....EVER
Never marry a Mama's Boy.
He's sounds like a mommas boy.
What?! Blaming op and her husband for the father's death?! Thats just bullcrap!