Honestly, I'm glad that OP left her kids. If she had stayed, those kids probably would have never known just how freaking STELLAR their Dad and neighbors are. This is the true meaning of the phrase "It takes a village." It's everyone coming together to support the father and kids, and to do what that "Mother" could never do
i'm glad she left too, cause like, i can see her just straight up abusing her kids if she had stayed. those kids and the dad are so much better off without her in their lives.
@@abiean222 Abuse and/or neglect with the terrible feeling of growing up wondering “why doesn’t my own mother love me?” and eventually ending up on r/raisedbynarcissists
@user-hk2fc4jv2g Except- she also abandoned her children. She ditched them for 7 years without a word. Do you think she made even the slightest effort to contact her kids? Cuz if she didn't, that sounds like abandonment to me
She didn't show up when he filed for full custody, but thinks she can sue for custody after that? I hope it wasn't a law degree she was going to college for.
I hate people who do this. Have families and just straight up ghost them. Loke she expected him to call her and tell her about custody... when she had been actively ignoring him and their 3 kids under 3 years old.
@@orchidoxs126 Probably the most apt typo I've seen yet; she really did just try to swoop back into her family's lives after being gone for so long, like a seagull after a person's sandwich. Revolting, really.
The mom who abandoned her family and went off to "discover herself" abroad for seven years before attempting to reintroduce herself back into her kid's lives is a pathetic excuse for a mother. Kudos to the dad and his family & friends for stepping up to bat and providing the three kids with a loving and wholesome upbringing.
I was laughing the entire time because of the sheer audacity of this woman. She abandons her kids and the father for 7 years and then thinks she could just magically be a mother? This reminds me of this episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (forgot the name of the episode) where Will basically dealt with his deadbeat dad (spoiler alert) only for him to leave Will again
This woman... abandoning your family.... screw you. You took on responsibility when you made the decision to get married. You took on more responsibility when you chose to have kids. "And for the mother, NOTHING"
I know right “discovering yourself” is something you do in your 20s on a gap year. Not at her age with a partner and 3 kids down the line. She made to choice to have a family when the time came. she doesn’t get to go back on her choices. If she wanted to travel, take the family with you!!! You had your chance to be a free spirit, now that ship has sailed, so suck it up!!
I was terrified for him before hearing the update. Having 3 newborns while their mom just *vanishes* would have anyone stressed to the edge of insanity. I cried hearing how basically everyone he knew was there for him in any way they could. How a Saint and a piece of scum were in a relationship is beyond me, but I'm glad to hear it went well for him :D
Had something kinda similar. My mom n I moved to where we live now at 3rd grade n her, her friends (my witchy aunts), her guy friends (one taught me how to ride a drivable scooter), they were all a big influence on my life. Clearly the guys moreso lol, bc being exposed to the internet with basically no supervision led me to typical TH-cam content in the 2010s, online flash gaming with random friendly people, and nowadays practically no filter but to have fun and halp out whenever I can
Man Story 2 is literally the "gone out for milk" plot. It's insane to think you can just bail on the father for 7 years and expect to just come back without any issues. Not only he had to deal with raising them but he had to do it alone as more or less a single parent. There is no justification you can say.
@@NekulturnyAnd she got mad he didn't discuss it with her! Like bish.... you LEFT for months ingoring his calls. Litteraly ghosted him your kids... and you're mad at him!?
Rslash says 7 years but I only count 5? 2 years traveling the world and 3 years in Thailand. But yeah she’s not a mother and has no right to claim she is a mother after that selfishness of epic proportions. Her kids don’t even know who she is and it should stay that way!
@@Liam_Phoenix Oh thank god I didn’t see anyone mentioning it in the comments and i was like “Am I crazy? Did I miss something??” Literally had my SO listen to the video to validate me lol
I know! It's crazy, so many parents are trying their hardest to be apart of their kids lives and raise them....and she dips harder than a chip in salsa!!! Like wtf!
Hearing that you have to actually fight to stay in your own children's lives makes me angry (as well as the child abandoners). My husband died when our son was just a little baby and I would have given my right arm to have someone else in our sons life who loved him as much as he had, and for my son to have had a dad.
I love the statement, those kids were raised by a wolf pack. It's awesome that his buddies stepped up and became "punching bags and horsey's for the twins and tea party attendees for the little girl."
I had to hold my chest at the cuteness of that statement, it's so wholesome. His community has his back to the point that "two or three brawny guys" would show up, pretty much one sitter per kid, which sounds luxurious!
Well, it's always bros before hoes. Also, the Wolfpack always defends their own against some no-so-pleasant adversaries, such as the female organism that is OP.
@@stefantsarev4442 honestly, being “raised by a Wolfpack” could be one of the best ways! My brother and I were raised by a special pack of wildland firefighters and we all are still so close 20 years after!
I can't imagine how OP is feeling from that first story. On one hand, he's free from a bitch who broke his heart, but on the other, he lost the woman he loved. On top of that, there could probably be survivors guilt and him blaming himself for her death. I hope OP has a good therapist.
That I find unbelivable is that the MIA OP was enraged when the boyfriend ask for custody at the 6 month mark, but she decided to wait another 6.5 years to come back
Story 2: I actually stopped what I was doing and my mouth dropped when she said she was finally ready to be part of her kids’ lives. Seven super important bonding years with her children have already been lost because she wanted to party. The absolute audacity of this woman. I won’t even call her a mother. I’m so happy for those kids and their dad. What a phenomenal support system they put in place. They say it takes a village and these kids got that experience in spades. They’ll be just fine without her and their enabling grandparents. 5/5 is definitely the score, no question.
Both my parents treated me like this (they were the characteristic "clocked in for working hours" type parents) the instant I was capable of having an opinion that didn't precisely synch with theirs, but both wanted to be part of my life as an adult once the work was over and I could be more of a friend as long as I didn't dare disagree with them and did everything I was ordered to do. It works out fine if, as you say, there's a village. In my case...not so much, but I ended up with a decent grandfather and a good mentor or two, so it worked out. Now that my mother is ancient, she, of course, feels that I need to care for her and the rest of the family agrees. I do not, and my spouse agrees with me, so that's fortunate.
@@BronzeDragon133 Glad you found a good support system. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a large group of people and they don’t need to all come into your life at once. Mentors are awesome and I wish I had more in my life. I agree that you shouldn’t have to feel obligated to take care of her. That’s your choice to make and it’s good that your spouse is supportive of your decision. Hope it all works out.
Story 2 is so depressing that dad and kids where just abandoned. Luckily he had friends to help him out. That cuss of a “mom” definitely deserves 10/5 on the bad scale
those kids are so much better off without their bitch of a "mother" raising them. god, i can just imagine how she'd treat them if she see no problem with just abandoning them. best thing she ever did to her family, leaving them, i say.
Story 1: This is the start of OP’s villain arc, and I wouldn’t be able to blame him. Also, something tells me the wife tried to get with the best friend behind the scenes after leaving OP and he rejected her, and that’s why she offed herself.
Why not just date the friend in the first place instead of op anyway what was the point of entering the loveless marriage at all if she doesn’t love op?
@@kai7526 Honestly, it feels like why she went with OP instead of asking his best friend out is that she didn't take being rejected the first time around well, which keep in mind it was more than a decade ago according to the friend himself, and she feels she needs to spy on him until the time is just right to finally get to him. Think of the AITA story about OP's previous wife only dating him just so that she can be with his brother, but it doesn't end well at all for the SO because OP's brother actually had the sense to reject her. That's basically this story in a nutshell.
She used op for ten years. Where he could've found someone who actually cared for him. Then the abuser kills herself? Screw you lady. I bet she just wanted to rip everyone's lives apart. Selfish b*tch
As a kid that grew up not poor, but not wealthy at all, when she said "it seemed silly" not to take the scholarship to her first choice school I IMMEDIATELY knew she was from money. Those few words immediately told me that she wasn't concerned at all about where the money would come from for her education.
@@threecards333 It legit hurts me to hear someone just walk away from their kids like that. Cliche, but I can't imagine just walking away from my kids. Crazy crazy. Happy Friday friend
@@JeffreyMcLain Happy Friday to you too. It hurts me as well. I spent 11 in university and now am fortunate to have a well paying position and a house. But I am single and would love to have a family. Grass is always greener. Hopefully I can find a wonderful woman to have a family with soon.
@@threecards333 The grass is indeed always greener! Love your life and don't lament what you don't have! Hoping for a delightful future and that rad family that's even better than your dreams. Everyone deserves and is worthy of love, I hope you find it in the best timing :D
Story 2: You can't just walk out of your family's lives and come back like nothing happened. If she didn't want to be a parent, she shouldn't have had kids.
According to the post, her oldest child was 1 year and 2 months old when she left to clear her head. So OP froze the mental image of 3 infants in her mind, then comes back 7 years later expecting those kids to still be in their infant stage of life?
Dude you're not a terrible person for asking your best friend if he knew your wife had a crush on him. Marrying someone just to use them to get close to someone else what a disgusting person.
@@sassyghost_8I doubt she feels any pain what she caused I heard from comment she went to ask date his friend after she revealed the truth and well he said no. OP friend is good person unlike this witch who committed suicide good riddance.
@@sassyghost_8 OP deserved better I hate this woman to point I wish she sees that people happy without her. People betray and lie for ten years deserve rejection and being left in dust
First Story: Wow this actually made me furious on OP's behalf. OP's horrible wife used OP just so she can stay close to his bestfriend. People who use others for their own benefit are horrible. What was stopping her from getting with OP's bestfriend from the start? Why put OP through 12 years of pain knowing she doesn’t actually love OP. I hope OP's bestfriend shatters her heart. That makes absolutely no sense, she is in love with OP's bestfriend...but don’t see herself in a relationship with him? Huh? So she vanished to another country? I’m glad the bestfriend is just as shocked as OP is about this situation. Personally I think OP should just get the divorce and move on. I didn’t finish the update because wtf!? Just out of nowhere she died!? Like I said, I really can’t feel sympathy for this woman because it feels like she did all of this to emotionally torture OP, especially with her taking her own life. She was downright obessed with OP's bestfriend Second Story, YTA: I got through barely half of this story and already know OP is the asshole. She abandons her kids to travel, have the absolute audacity to get mad over her baby daddy getting full custody of the kids, and then doubles down and sees it as an opportunity to stay away longer. Lmaooo yo I’m actually laughing right now. No way in hell this is real; OP vanishes for half a decade and just thinks she can be apart of her kids' lives now? She even had the audacity to threaten to sue for custody??? OP is a clown. That update is wild and it sounds like OP's ex is waaaaaay better off without her. I want to see OP's responses because she is hilarious
She married OP because she got rejected by the best friend. A crush doesn't seem like a good description. It's more like obsession. She was insane and couldn't live without always knowing what the bestfriend was doing. She then most likely ended their existance due to the fact she couldn't know what the bestfriend was doing which was her worst fear.
Ya I agree on your statement on the second story, I do understand that being a parent isn’t easy i have friends who are young parents but they make it though. But the OP is a POS for leaving her boyfriend and kids for 2 years to have fun and then come back to think everything is ok. No no no OP gets 5/5 but holes
For the last story, the in laws were right that it’s her fault. RSlash implies they were bankrolling OP, but actually they were offering money to the boyfriend and he minimized their contribution/ presence in the kid’s lives so that when OP *did* come back, they couldn’t use it as a springboard to sue for custody. So I feel bad for the in laws while completely understanding why the boyfriend did what he did
It doesn't matter. OP did nothing for her kids for seven years. Clearly she has rich parents cause there's no way in hell a "normal" person could afford to travel all around the world for years. Her parents contribution to the kids is the least they can do since they made it HAPPEN for OP to leave her children. Doing the right things doesn't balance out the wrong things you're doing. It just means you're not COMPLETELY evil
@@cmhsky it wasn’t mentioned that they bankrolled her, and considering that the parents seemed eager to help out with the kids from the jump, I don’t think they did
The second story is almost exactly what my step-sisters’ mother did. Right down to the “it’s so I can be a better parent” excuse. She returned several years later engaged and pregnant. She got split custody and my step-sisters are still struggling to this day.
The update on the first story: She self deleted and a lot of people speculated that she told OP this wild story so he would hate her and not be devastated when she did it.
I can see that speculation, but to be honest... That's just as bad? Like, Ion know... as someone who's attempted to self delete 3 times, I never thought of doing something like that... But hey, each person grieves their own way in a clouded place like that
@JHyde-tv3if Yeah, thats... That's what I was thinking? Like, it's bad enough you're gonna take yourself off this planet in the end, but you wanna hurt them even worse just before doing it? But as I said, thoughts get real bad when in a clouded place like that. I'm a people pleaser, so leading up to my attempts, I was very cautious on letting my friends know I loved them. And my notes would always contain that it wasn't their fault because they meant so much to me. Not like what I was attempting would have felt very good either, ya know?
@@lillylovegood2300blowing up relationships is a very, very common behavior for suicidal people. Just like giving away prized possessions or withdrawing from previously enjoyable activities. It's honestly really sad and gross that you, a person who struggled with suicidal ideation, are judging the obviously mentally ill actions of someone struggling.
She may have thought it would be easier for him to hate her than to grieve her. I can 100% understand that mentality. Honestly, I feel that way too. It is a struggle, and everyone who goes through it does it differently.
This reminds me of a story; OP's wife came out of the closet as a lesbian to OP and left him and their two daughters (13 and 10 I think). Then for four years, OP took care of their kids, even though he was struggling mentally. Then, the wife came back saying "Oh, my new partner (who was actually a affair mistress as well) and I didn't have a good relationship, and only after short time, we broke up and I was on the streets for awhile, can I come be a mother again, pretty pretty please?" You know what the daughters reactions were? Anger, pure f*cking anger. They hated that she would abandoned them for so long and just come back into their lives like nothing happened. I bet if the OP from the second story decided to show up, the kids might be a same reaction, though might not cause the boys are about seven and the daughter just being a little older, but that's what I think.
My brother was below 5 when my father was finally removed from the house (my mum kicked him out due to abusive reasons towards her) Even at that young, you can see the truth (in a custody battle, he drew my mum and stepdad on one area TOGETHER, and my dad ALONE.) The age doesn't matter. Subconsciously, they choose the one who doesn't abandon them no matter how much they love that person.
OP2: B17ch abandoned her kids and then "okay, I'm ready to play mommy now!" Hahahahano. Also in regards to her parents, I bet Dad is limiting contact to prevent some kind of grandparents rights claim.
My mom's friend had a huge crush on my dad, so she married one of his brothers and after she had two girls with him, started telling everyone that they were my dad's love children. Suffice to say, they got divorced, and my mom stopped being friends with her. She also was emotionally abusive with her daughters and they have nothing to do with her as adults.
Last story: it's one thing if OP went to a rehabilitation center for her PPD, the BF would've understood that she needed help to be a better parent and partner. This isn't it.
What's crazy is that I don't even think the OP of the second story realizes that she ACTUALLY abandoned her children. She probably just thinks "I'm just taking a vacation, everyone takes them. No harm, no foul. I'll be back when I'm done." It's absolutely insane to me how......how.....lacking she is in the brain area to think she say she wants to see her children so nonchalantly as if she just took a weekend vacation or something. Awesome Dad, btw
Story 1: Who knows if she even meant what she told OP? I may have actually read a comment on r/BestofRedditorUpdates suggesting she didn't even have feelings for the guy, but was struggling with suicidal thoughts and told him lies to make it "easier." I'm not sure if it was this story, but if not, it was a similar situation. Could be that she was in fact pushing him away, or was having an episode of some sort. Even if that's not the case, it still isn't OP's fault. Clearly she was struggling. I wish him the best. :(
I 100% believe this is what happened. Burning Bridges is one of the top 3 most common behaviors of someone planning a suic*de, along with giving away prized possessions and self isolation (which she did by fleeing the country leaving everything in her home behind) its heartbreaking there was nobody in her life that questioned this sudden change in behavior, maybe she could've gotten help and saved them both the devastation.
That was actually my first thought after hearing the first story… that she might have not even meant what she said. Depression could really mess with your head 😥
That first story... Yikes OP. He deserves so much better. Not only did his ex-wife never really loved her husband, and only married OP to get close to his best friend that she basically buried her feelings for a decade. She was basically torturing OP mentally and emotionally, what an absolute garbage human being.
I got the impression that she was a deeply, deeply disturbed person rather than actively malicious. These people function like a destructive force of nature, destroying lives because they don't or can't fix their own problems.
I believe I already hear this story before and she only said all that stuff to him because she was planning on end everything. And she wanted him hate her instead of grieving
Oh man i remember reading this first story on the subreddit, it was so insane. Edit: okay it was actually the second story, because I remember reading the kids were raised by wolves and I thought it was really by wolves lol, but it was so much worse, the mothers such a horrible person. People found her other comments from other subreddits and people were like huhhh is this your job now after abandoning your kids 😭
So true! I was tearing up reading that comment! I’m sure thanks to the Wolfpack raising those three “pups”, they are going to remember that as the best years of their lives!
Massive props to everyone who came together to help this single dad with his kids. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and this is a spectacular example of that.
Usually when a parent is exhausted, you do a couple things: 1. Tired parent sleeps in 2. Ordering takeout 3. maybe sending the tired parent on a girls trip with her friends OVERNIGHT or a WEEKEND, AND usually not far (if applicable) NOT TRAVELING ABROAD FOR MONTHS, THAT TURNED INTO YEARS!!!!!
7….years…that’s the beginning of elementary school. First steps, first words, baby formula to solid foods, preschool, kindergarten…all passed OP by and she will never be able to redo that with them. Post partem depression is in fact real, but you DONT go galavanting across the other side of the earth to heal OR “find yourself”. You go to therapy, you see a doctor, you REMAIN FOR YOUR CHILDREN. Absolutely appalling. Easiest 5/5 score ever. Glad the dad had the lawyer friend to keep op’s parents away, too.
"This is why I don't like to give out 5/5 butthole scores so I can save them for people like you OP." I love the delivery of that line. Just perfect. I'm not a parent myself. I can understand that a parent might need some time off, but abandoning them for seven years? Yeah, you don't deserve to be part of their lives, they're better off without you.
8:25 the shock in your voice that she prolonged her travel to 2 YEARS and then you instantly switching up to karen voice was the best thing i heard today
In the second story, those kids are so lucky. They might have not have their mother or maternal grandparents, they have an amazing father and at least 3(most likely more, the commenter specifically pointed 3 people so thats the minimum) fun and helping uncles. I think those kids are happy, and will be functioning members of society, especially without the mothers influence.
Story 2 : the level of audacity OP has thinking she deserves any actual second of bonding with the father's kids is almost fascinating. Like, how the heck can you be this clueless and entitled??
I wonder if the wife was being truthful about being in love with the best friend. OP brought up a baby and his wife just stopped. Like if there was a kid she couldnt just leave. She leaves, goes to a different county (which meant she had the money and plan to do so) and took her own life. That's so premeditated. Like she said EXACTLY what it would take for OP to not try and stop her.
Story 2: I'm so glad we got an update from a third party involved. The fact the neighborhood came together for the kids is amazing. Their mother is a failure as a human. But their dad seems golden. You don't get this many friends who are good people to keep helping you out unless your a good person too. I'm glad when the dad needed help from the world the world answered
"I left my kids to travel for two years and now I don't understand my ex won't let me see them????!!!" yeah that's your problem lady, you abandoned them for two years...
story 2: jesus christ. those kids really have an entire army at their beckon call. good luck to the OP if she wants anything to do with them. i wouldnt be surprised if there were some army guys or marines or something in that enourmous pack of people who raised those kids. not that OP deserves any relationship with the children, but if she tries anyway, i feel like she will get a blasting worthy of sagas and songs.
"I'm still a rich party girl and can't be tied down to family responsibility just yet. so I'm going to go see the world." 7 years later after passionately loving random people across the world, getting STDs, and now you want to come back? No thanks... I don't want you to be a bad example for MY kids!
That first story was so sad glad it had a semi happy ending though. It was nice to see his wife accepting some responsibility. Story 2 was insane. Can not imagine how any parent could just walk away from their own kids for seven years. I don't believe the postpartum thing either, my bet is she saw how much work two twins was and just didn't want to deal with three kids.
I don't quite buy it either. She may have had postpartum but she may have used it as an excuse to dump all responsibilities onto her ex-Super Baby Daddy (who is doing a much better job raising the kids alongside his wolfpack) and go party around the world.
Story 2: Man R/ is so mad he didn't even sincere his curse word. You're a bit wrong in the time line though, OP left to go travel for two years, decided she was ready to be a parent but didn't want to have to face her family after being gone for so long, so she took a job in Europe in a desperate attempt to run away from her Shane for the other 4 years. But what really got me was the part where she threatened to take him to court for custody, like she abandon them at such an early age for so long that there's no way these kids have any kind of emotional attachment to her.
When you hear stories like these, you find yourself wondering "how is this person even real?" Like, I get that having a lot of money can mess people's touch of reality.. but, seriously, how can a grown woman just.. disappear like this?
Last story: as a parent I have taken a solo trip away with notice to my husband and for basically a long weekend. I think it is ok to get away for a long weekend/ week once in a while if you let someone know but 2 months (which turned into 7 years) with no notice is wrong
For the first story my thinking is that the wife might have simply just been suicidal from the start and lied about being in love with OPs friend because she thought it would “help” OP get over her easier than if he’d still cared about her ☹️
6:44 I do. She's a stalker. She needed to be close to him, even if from afar. OP was collateral. Her suicide could even be because she realised how much damage she did or because now she had no way to be close to the friend any more.
1st story. My wife was friends with an older woman when I first met her. Not great friends, but there was talk anout letting her live with us for awhile as she was going through a divorce. That never happened, because they both worked at the same store, friend became manager, and turned into a total tyrant. She fired people left and right, constantly threatened to do so with my wife, and even forced her to show up with a hurt foot to prove she was injured and to get her paycheck since she wouldn't give it to me. Fast forward a couple months. Manager totals her car, is shocked none of her employees are willing to give her a ride, and after a couple weeks she just vanishes. No calls, no quitting, just gone. Month later we find out she stole a car, left the state, and unalived herself, and that it was discovered she had a massive and undiagnosed brain tumor. So, some Karens are made, not born.
The first story actually had some interesting comments speculating that the wife was lying about her friend. The idea is that she was already planning suicide and this lie was her misguided attempt to push OOP away so he wouldn’t grieve as much when she died. We’ll never know for sure, but this theory is actually kind of compelling to me. It’s weird to me that neither OOP nor his friend had any hints about her feelings even in retrospect. And if she was being honest, then her sudden decision to open up to OOP after perfectly concealing her emotions for years is also really strange. The lie theory also explains her aversion to having children; she didn’t want to leave behind an orphan.
It's endearing how the dad's bros simply mobilized to help with the kids, babysit, attend tea parties, buy kids stuff. Absolute KINGS behavior! The dad might have a terrible taste for women, but he damn knows how to choose his friends.
So as a child abuse survivor, my mother actually left my father as they had a bad marriage, to put it politely. She would tell everyone she ran because she was in danger and it was a “dangerous household” for my brother and I, but she straight abandoned us for 2 years. It was not roses with my father and he used violence to “discipline”, but has acknowledged his wrongdoing to me as an adult and has massively changed his attitude throughout the years. My mother on the other hand, eventually got custody of me and my brother and we had a miserable childhood. I was forced to care for my brother like he was my own child, I actually learnt recently how much of my dads wages were paid to my mother (through wage dedication or whatever the term is, where he legally has to pay) and I’ve actually no idea where this money went, because she often went out with random men and partied, whilst at home the bills were often left unpaid, debt collectors would come to the house where I had to talk to scary dudes as a child, and we barely had food in the house. She tried to poison my mind against my father from a young age, she managed to convince my brother he was the worst human being in existence (and he still acts angrily towards him from what dad has told me), and because she couldn’t poison me against him she instead made my brother the golden child and I the scapegoat. That led to more neglect, more caring for my brother full time like he was my own child when I was barely a teen, and growing up where my brothers violence was encouraged whilst my mother bought him alcohol from age 12 (actually wish I was kidding). I spoke to my dad about this recently as we were both ranting a little about life in general and he was trying to get an understanding why his son, a 30 year old man now, is still so angry in life, and I explained the gaslighting, manipulation, playing favourites, the violence, the neglect, buying him alcohol at 12 and still buying him alcohol now as a full on alcoholic, and how I haven’t spoken to neither of them in roughy 6/7 years. My dad said to me “My greatest regret is not fighting for you in court, as you know I divorced your mother, I took on her debts, I dealt with her insane friends, and then my mother, your grandmother, she died, and the depression became too much and I stopped fighting as I was struggling, and it’s my greatest regret” “And I don’t blame you, the court system was horribly biased against you, you had a more of less stable home, a stable job, you could prove she wasn’t fit to be a mother, and the court decided ‘the mother is best’ when that was clearly the wrong decision” “But you should kinda blame me, right?” “Why? For having depression? A crappy wife who cheated on you all the time? A court system who failed you? That’s not on you, society just hasn’t changed nearly enough to acknowledge that sometimes the kids are better off with the father and not the mother” So yeah, some of us get abandoned by our mothers, for me it was straight abandonment whilst she told everyone how her kids were “in danger” but didn’t do anything because she didn’t want to, she only got custody to hurt my father, to be neglected my whole childhood with her, and you know where that led her? Being entirely cut off from me, I’m so well protected by my close friends and unofficially adoptive family that they won’t even allow any contact attempts, they have a whole system in place to protect me from my mother and brother and I’ll forever be grateful to have them rally around me like this. I’m also friends with a guy who’s a single father, his ex walked out when their baby was 6 months old tho as opposed to 9 years old like I was, so his kid never knew his mother. She tried appearing in their lives when his son was 10 and he straight up said “lol no”, and she disappeared after 1 week, she only wanted money. He’s been brought up as a lovely young man (now 17) by his father and his grandmother, very polite, considerate, kind, he’s everything his mother isn’t, and is a testament to his dad, and his dad is incredibly proud of the young man he’s become!
I love how its “AITA for trying to get back into my kids lives” and not “AITA for ghosting my partner and three babies under three for seven years to vacation and party” people on reddit will say anything to make their shitty behavior not seem as bad
I'm getting terminal illness vibes from the first story. Like she had something she felt she wasn't going to survive, so she took a final trip, tried to give OP closure (which only made things worse), and overdosed to get out. Maybe I'm overthinking things.
girl if you have postpartum depression you seek therapy, take some time to rest (I mean like a week or two not several years), maybe take a week’s vacation. Then you come back and you be there for your husband and your kids! You don’t just leave for several months, continue to tell your husband you’re not ready to come back, stay for an extra 2 years, pick up a job in Thailand for another 3 years, then decide you’re ready to be involved again!
Story 2: the fathers side of raising his children without the mother who basically abandoned them are the literal definitions of "it takes a whole village to raise a child"
OP has some audacity to wanna be a parent now. When my wife or I need a break from our toddler, it's for maybe a day. My wife usually goes on a mommy-daughter date while I sleep in, or vice versa. It's typically never longer than a few hours. I love being around my child, she just gets really rambunctious. That toddler energy is something else 😅
Story 2: You know what they say "It takes a Village." Gonna say the OP of 2 probably should have died instead of the Ex in Story 1. So many ways on a trip around the world.Get eaten by sharks while surfing, eat poison fugu fish preped wrong, crushed by a church bell, mauled by tigers. The possibilities are endless.
I'd wager that Dabney is right, and Op's parents likely bankrolled her 7 year vacation. Adding to that theory, I'm guessing the parents refused to continue to give her money unless she made it so they could see the kids more often. I sincerely doubt she slithered back into their lives because she suddenly missed them. It sounds like those kids missed out on nothing.
I always enjoy hearing a story of a person who say they want to travel and see the world, and you just know what they really mean is that they want no responsiblity of any kind and just party without any consequences whatsoever.
Wanting to travel the world is fine if you have no responsibilities, which is what many people do, me included, but to run away from a family like that is something else entirely!
Honestly, that woman doesn't deserve to be called a mother, she's just an egg donor. You seriously can't think your kids are gonna want a relationship with you when you abandoned them and their amazing father to party for 7 years. So thankful that everyone helped with the dad, I'm happy that he and those kids have been getting the help that they need.
Story 2: Honestly, OP's kids are better off without her in their lives. You all know that saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." Well clearly OP was Joanna Kramer (Meryl Streep's character in the movie Kramer vs Kramer) in this situation and didn't want to be apart of that village. To the kids, their real family is made up of their dad, his side of the family, and all of the friends and neighbors who pitched in to help raise them while OP's parents are only acquaintances and OP herself is a complete stranger.
He doesn't make one everyday. More like he makes enough content over the course of 5 days to fill up 7 days. Also, he has an editor that puts it all together for him and there are videos that are already queued up a few days (or more) in advance. He could go off on a one week vacation right now and probably still have a couple of days to spare before absolutely needing to record more material in order to miss a day.
A bit of a story time, I thought of it with the second story! My best friend is dating this guy, and I don't personally like him at all. But he has had a shitty life growing up, so I sympathize I tiny bit, but not enough to think he's an okay person. His mom basically stole him away from his bio dad and never let them see each other to a point that he admits to this day he thinks of his dad more as a friend than a dad. His mom never taught him how to take care of himself, INCLUDING brushing his teeth or washing his hands after using the restroom. When he turned 18, she straight up left him to go travel. He claims she asked and he was okay with it, but there was obviously manipulation involved, why would you want your mother to leave you alone to take care of yourself. And to top it off, his mother's extended family moved into the house to "take care of him", but they straight up abused him and the uncle threatened to kill him, forcing him to make the decision to move out. But she ended up coming back to his area and forced her way back into his life. And for whatever reason, he still makes excuses for her. Doesn't defend his girlfriend, but sides with mom. I don't know what's going on in his head, but he's convinced Mommy can do no wrong. So I'm saying kudos to the dad for not allowing that toxic witch back in the kids lives. There could've been a reality where mom manipulated them into thinking she did nothing wrong and they start to favor her over the dad who raised them alone.
2 story: grandparent's rights. If dad accepted money and assistance from the grandparents, they would have grounds to sue the dad for custody of the kids.
@GiordanDiodato absolutely does depend on the state. Going off the update, the lawyer friend gave the dad great advice on how to proceed. Grandparents are probably loaded and can out spend the dad in court. So, no chances taken by dad.
The second story omg, like feeling overwhelmed is valid, running away is not. She was out of these kids lives for a majority of the time then just wants to waltz back in like nothing happened. She couldve talked to her husband, she couldve tried therapy, literally anything else besides running away
Something about the first story tells me that the wife had planned her ending from the start and was using the love she used to have for OP’s friend as a reason to cut ties with him. Idk, i could be completely off base
One of my grandmas sisters also left her husband and kids, for 7 years she travel the world. When she came back home she expected that everything would go back to normal. Everyone hated her for abandon her family. I cant imagine what went through her head to think that everyone would welcome her back with open arms
So I recently heard the other side of this story from the husband and i never expected to see the other side of the awful mother story i hope rslash finds it and reads it
That lady sounds addicted to parasocial relationships. I had an ex like that who would fixate on unobtainable partners and/or celebrities. She eventually became obsessed with me while I was in a relationship, but a year later when I was single we started dating. Once I was no longer unobtainable and was her boyfriend, she immediately became cold and extremely abusive. We only dated for 3 months, and the last two months were absolute hell.
Honestly, I'm glad that OP left her kids. If she had stayed, those kids probably would have never known just how freaking STELLAR their Dad and neighbors are. This is the true meaning of the phrase "It takes a village." It's everyone coming together to support the father and kids, and to do what that "Mother" could never do
i'm glad she left too, cause like, i can see her just straight up abusing her kids if she had stayed. those kids and the dad are so much better off without her in their lives.
Yep
@@abiean222 Abuse and/or neglect with the terrible feeling of growing up wondering “why doesn’t my own mother love me?” and eventually ending up on r/raisedbynarcissists
MEN abandon children all the time, and you lt are silent. A woman dares to say she needs a break, and you all shred her.
@user-hk2fc4jv2g Except- she also abandoned her children. She ditched them for 7 years without a word. Do you think she made even the slightest effort to contact her kids? Cuz if she didn't, that sounds like abandonment to me
She didn't show up when he filed for full custody, but thinks she can sue for custody after that? I hope it wasn't a law degree she was going to college for.
I hate people who do this. Have families and just straight up ghost them. Loke she expected him to call her and tell her about custody... when she had been actively ignoring him and their 3 kids under 3 years old.
@@orchidoxs126and then they come back and demand to see the kids
@@redsoldier3884 Like the gull of this lady!
@@orchidoxs126 Probably the most apt typo I've seen yet; she really did just try to swoop back into her family's lives after being gone for so long, like a seagull after a person's sandwich. Revolting, really.
@@metaridley2911yep prime seagull behavior
The mom who abandoned her family and went off to "discover herself" abroad for seven years before attempting to reintroduce herself back into her kid's lives is a pathetic excuse for a mother.
Kudos to the dad and his family & friends for stepping up to bat and providing the three kids with a loving and wholesome upbringing.
I agree
I was laughing the entire time because of the sheer audacity of this woman. She abandons her kids and the father for 7 years and then thinks she could just magically be a mother?
This reminds me of this episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (forgot the name of the episode) where Will basically dealt with his deadbeat dad (spoiler alert) only for him to leave Will again
Seven YEARS... no contact. In this day and age when she could have done so much more especially if her parents are rich.
This woman... abandoning your family.... screw you. You took on responsibility when you made the decision to get married. You took on more responsibility when you chose to have kids.
"And for the mother, NOTHING"
I know right “discovering yourself” is something you do in your 20s on a gap year. Not at her age with a partner and 3 kids down the line. She made to choice to have a family when the time came. she doesn’t get to go back on her choices. If she wanted to travel, take the family with you!!! You had your chance to be a free spirit, now that ship has sailed, so suck it up!!
Honestly, the way how everyone came together to help the dad is really touching
It takes a village.
Yeah, these people are saints. Even the big guys happily agreed to play with both boys and have tea parties with a girl. That's downright adorable.
I was terrified for him before hearing the update. Having 3 newborns while their mom just *vanishes* would have anyone stressed to the edge of insanity.
I cried hearing how basically everyone he knew was there for him in any way they could.
How a Saint and a piece of scum were in a relationship is beyond me, but I'm glad to hear it went well for him :D
Had something kinda similar. My mom n I moved to where we live now at 3rd grade n her, her friends (my witchy aunts), her guy friends (one taught me how to ride a drivable scooter), they were all a big influence on my life.
Clearly the guys moreso lol, bc being exposed to the internet with basically no supervision led me to typical TH-cam content in the 2010s, online flash gaming with random friendly people, and nowadays practically no filter but to have fun and halp out whenever I can
I am glad they did everything to prevent this organism from ever seeing the kids again.
After all, it's always bros before hoes.
Man Story 2 is literally the "gone out for milk" plot. It's insane to think you can just bail on the father for 7 years and expect to just come back without any issues. Not only he had to deal with raising them but he had to do it alone as more or less a single parent. There is no justification you can say.
Yeah, I cant believe the guy waited 6 months to file for full custody, he waited way longer than she deserved.
@@NekulturnyAnd she got mad he didn't discuss it with her! Like bish.... you LEFT for months ingoring his calls. Litteraly ghosted him your kids... and you're mad at him!?
Rslash says 7 years but I only count 5? 2 years traveling the world and 3 years in Thailand.
But yeah she’s not a mother and has no right to claim she is a mother after that selfishness of epic proportions. Her kids don’t even know who she is and it should stay that way!
@@kranberry3318THANK YOU!! I was equally freaking confused! Where the hell did he get 7 from!
@@Liam_Phoenix Oh thank god I didn’t see anyone mentioning it in the comments and i was like “Am I crazy? Did I miss something??” Literally had my SO listen to the video to validate me lol
The last story makes me angry. I have spent the last 5 years fighting to stay in my kids lives. It has required so much sacrifice.
I know! It's crazy, so many parents are trying their hardest to be apart of their kids lives and raise them....and she dips harder than a chip in salsa!!! Like wtf!
Hearing that you have to actually fight to stay in your own children's lives makes me angry (as well as the child abandoners). My husband died when our son was just a little baby and I would have given my right arm to have someone else in our sons life who loved him as much as he had, and for my son to have had a dad.
Keep on fighting! I am sure it's hard, but your kids are worth it. :)
@@SparDanger 1,000,000,000,000%
*PLEASE* keep fighting. It's not going to be easy, but you'll realize (if you haven't already) that it's more than worth it
Story 2: I love how quickly he goes from regular to absolute confusion to the entitled parent voice.
It's so funny to see the exact moment rslash realize he's reading from a Karen
Dabney gets *reeaaallly* peevish at stupid parents, being a dad now and all.
I love the statement, those kids were raised by a wolf pack. It's awesome that his buddies stepped up and became "punching bags and horsey's for the twins and tea party attendees for the little girl."
I was just about to comment that! 😂
Wolfpack is the best way to describe it and it sounds like the kids are thriving!!!
I had to hold my chest at the cuteness of that statement, it's so wholesome. His community has his back to the point that "two or three brawny guys" would show up, pretty much one sitter per kid, which sounds luxurious!
Well, it's always bros before hoes.
Also, the Wolfpack always defends their own against some no-so-pleasant adversaries, such as the female organism that is OP.
@@stefantsarev4442 honestly, being “raised by a Wolfpack” could be one of the best ways!
My brother and I were raised by a special pack of wildland firefighters and we all are still so close 20 years after!
@@bellerain381Agreed!
You are so lucky to have so many supportive people around you! 😊
I can't imagine how OP is feeling from that first story. On one hand, he's free from a bitch who broke his heart, but on the other, he lost the woman he loved. On top of that, there could probably be survivors guilt and him blaming himself for her death. I hope OP has a good therapist.
That I find unbelivable is that the MIA OP was enraged when the boyfriend ask for custody at the 6 month mark, but she decided to wait another 6.5 years to come back
Yeah what difference does it make if he has custody? He’s the only one ever with them and the only one taking care of them
Story 2: I actually stopped what I was doing and my mouth dropped when she said she was finally ready to be part of her kids’ lives. Seven super important bonding years with her children have already been lost because she wanted to party. The absolute audacity of this woman. I won’t even call her a mother. I’m so happy for those kids and their dad. What a phenomenal support system they put in place. They say it takes a village and these kids got that experience in spades. They’ll be just fine without her and their enabling grandparents. 5/5 is definitely the score, no question.
She's just an egg donor.
@@ItBePatYo Pretty much
At that point, it sounded more like she traveled because she wanted to skip the hard parts of parenting
Both my parents treated me like this (they were the characteristic "clocked in for working hours" type parents) the instant I was capable of having an opinion that didn't precisely synch with theirs, but both wanted to be part of my life as an adult once the work was over and I could be more of a friend as long as I didn't dare disagree with them and did everything I was ordered to do.
It works out fine if, as you say, there's a village. In my case...not so much, but I ended up with a decent grandfather and a good mentor or two, so it worked out.
Now that my mother is ancient, she, of course, feels that I need to care for her and the rest of the family agrees. I do not, and my spouse agrees with me, so that's fortunate.
@@BronzeDragon133 Glad you found a good support system. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a large group of people and they don’t need to all come into your life at once. Mentors are awesome and I wish I had more in my life. I agree that you shouldn’t have to feel obligated to take care of her. That’s your choice to make and it’s good that your spouse is supportive of your decision. Hope it all works out.
Story 2 is so depressing that dad and kids where just abandoned. Luckily he had friends to help him out. That cuss of a “mom” definitely deserves 10/5 on the bad scale
those kids are so much better off without their bitch of a "mother" raising them. god, i can just imagine how she'd treat them if she see no problem with just abandoning them. best thing she ever did to her family, leaving them, i say.
Story 1: This is the start of OP’s villain arc, and I wouldn’t be able to blame him.
Also, something tells me the wife tried to get with the best friend behind the scenes after leaving OP and he rejected her, and that’s why she offed herself.
Why not just date the friend in the first place instead of op anyway what was the point of entering the loveless marriage at all if she doesn’t love op?
my she not be missed.
@@kai7526 Honestly, it feels like why she went with OP instead of asking his best friend out is that she didn't take being rejected the first time around well, which keep in mind it was more than a decade ago according to the friend himself, and she feels she needs to spy on him until the time is just right to finally get to him. Think of the AITA story about OP's previous wife only dating him just so that she can be with his brother, but it doesn't end well at all for the SO because OP's brother actually had the sense to reject her. That's basically this story in a nutshell.
or, if she isnt a complete psychopath, she had all the guilt of decieving op for 10 years hit her all the same time and couldn't bear it all
She used op for ten years. Where he could've found someone who actually cared for him.
Then the abuser kills herself? Screw you lady. I bet she just wanted to rip everyone's lives apart. Selfish b*tch
As a kid that grew up not poor, but not wealthy at all, when she said "it seemed silly" not to take the scholarship to her first choice school I IMMEDIATELY knew she was from money. Those few words immediately told me that she wasn't concerned at all about where the money would come from for her education.
I came from a upper middle class (or lower upper class) family and I was also WTF. Seriously OP the sense of entitlement is rather extreme.
@@threecards333 It legit hurts me to hear someone just walk away from their kids like that. Cliche, but I can't imagine just walking away from my kids. Crazy crazy. Happy Friday friend
@@JeffreyMcLain Happy Friday to you too. It hurts me as well. I spent 11 in university and now am fortunate to have a well paying position and a house. But I am single and would love to have a family. Grass is always greener. Hopefully I can find a wonderful woman to have a family with soon.
@@threecards333 The grass is indeed always greener! Love your life and don't lament what you don't have! Hoping for a delightful future and that rad family that's even better than your dreams. Everyone deserves and is worthy of love, I hope you find it in the best timing :D
@@JeffreyMcLain thank you 😁
Story 2: You can't just walk out of your family's lives and come back like nothing happened. If she didn't want to be a parent, she shouldn't have had kids.
Ohhhhhhhh.. how many guys need that advice!
@@luvdaroc But enough about your little misandry problem and back to the evil woman at hand.
@@BronzeDragon133misandry isn’t a problem tho
@@desbeauxsubliminals3609 (pat, pat) Found another misandrist. Back into your hole, legbeard femcel.
According to the post, her oldest child was 1 year and 2 months old when she left to clear her head. So OP froze the mental image of 3 infants in her mind, then comes back 7 years later expecting those kids to still be in their infant stage of life?
Dude you're not a terrible person for asking your best friend if he knew your wife had a crush on him. Marrying someone just to use them to get close to someone else what a disgusting person.
Ya
Yeah, that was a long time of cold hearted manipulation.
@@sassyghost_8I doubt she feels any pain what she caused I heard from comment she went to ask date his friend after she revealed the truth and well he said no.
OP friend is good person unlike this witch who committed suicide good riddance.
@@RAC00NFANGIRL Now that’s low. Hilarious that she got rejected though. Crap ex-girlfriend but awesome friend 👏
@@sassyghost_8 OP deserved better I hate this woman to point I wish she sees that people happy without her.
People betray and lie for ten years deserve rejection and being left in dust
She dumped her kids for 7 years and then couldn't understand why they didn't clamour for her when she decided to come back. Diamond tier narcisist.
First Story: Wow this actually made me furious on OP's behalf. OP's horrible wife used OP just so she can stay close to his bestfriend. People who use others for their own benefit are horrible. What was stopping her from getting with OP's bestfriend from the start? Why put OP through 12 years of pain knowing she doesn’t actually love OP. I hope OP's bestfriend shatters her heart. That makes absolutely no sense, she is in love with OP's bestfriend...but don’t see herself in a relationship with him? Huh? So she vanished to another country? I’m glad the bestfriend is just as shocked as OP is about this situation. Personally I think OP should just get the divorce and move on. I didn’t finish the update because wtf!? Just out of nowhere she died!? Like I said, I really can’t feel sympathy for this woman because it feels like she did all of this to emotionally torture OP, especially with her taking her own life. She was downright obessed with OP's bestfriend
Second Story, YTA: I got through barely half of this story and already know OP is the asshole. She abandons her kids to travel, have the absolute audacity to get mad over her baby daddy getting full custody of the kids, and then doubles down and sees it as an opportunity to stay away longer. Lmaooo yo I’m actually laughing right now. No way in hell this is real; OP vanishes for half a decade and just thinks she can be apart of her kids' lives now? She even had the audacity to threaten to sue for custody??? OP is a clown. That update is wild and it sounds like OP's ex is waaaaaay better off without her. I want to see OP's responses because she is hilarious
You didn’t finish the story, did you? She self-deleted, which made my heart soar. I think she’s where she belongs. If OP feels guilty, he’s pathetic.
She married OP because she got rejected by the best friend.
A crush doesn't seem like a good description. It's more like obsession.
She was insane and couldn't live without always knowing what the bestfriend was doing.
She then most likely ended their existance due to the fact she couldn't know what the bestfriend was doing which was her worst fear.
Not just a clown, the entire circus
The women in story 2 is Ukrainian and this is the first time I am supporting Putin. Putin! Make her homeless and destroy her money
Ya I agree on your statement on the second story, I do understand that being a parent isn’t easy i have friends who are young parents but they make it though. But the OP is a POS for leaving her boyfriend and kids for 2 years to have fun and then come back to think everything is ok. No no no OP gets 5/5 but holes
For the last story, the in laws were right that it’s her fault. RSlash implies they were bankrolling OP, but actually they were offering money to the boyfriend and he minimized their contribution/ presence in the kid’s lives so that when OP *did* come back, they couldn’t use it as a springboard to sue for custody. So I feel bad for the in laws while completely understanding why the boyfriend did what he did
Maybe both?
@@madgevanness4011 maybe but we don't know for sure
@@GiordanDiodato You're right, we don't know, but does Op sound like someone, who would work to see the world, when she had rich parents?
It doesn't matter. OP did nothing for her kids for seven years. Clearly she has rich parents cause there's no way in hell a "normal" person could afford to travel all around the world for years.
Her parents contribution to the kids is the least they can do since they made it HAPPEN for OP to leave her children.
Doing the right things doesn't balance out the wrong things you're doing. It just means you're not COMPLETELY evil
@@cmhsky it wasn’t mentioned that they bankrolled her, and considering that the parents seemed eager to help out with the kids from the jump, I don’t think they did
To everyone who helped that dad raise those kids, all I can say is thank you. You guys are true heroes
The second story is almost exactly what my step-sisters’ mother did. Right down to the “it’s so I can be a better parent” excuse. She returned several years later engaged and pregnant. She got split custody and my step-sisters are still struggling to this day.
The update on the first story: She self deleted and a lot of people speculated that she told OP this wild story so he would hate her and not be devastated when she did it.
I can see that speculation, but to be honest... That's just as bad? Like, Ion know... as someone who's attempted to self delete 3 times, I never thought of doing something like that... But hey, each person grieves their own way in a clouded place like that
@@lillylovegood2300 It's honestly worse in my opinion. That's a double whammy of trauma.
@JHyde-tv3if Yeah, thats... That's what I was thinking? Like, it's bad enough you're gonna take yourself off this planet in the end, but you wanna hurt them even worse just before doing it?
But as I said, thoughts get real bad when in a clouded place like that.
I'm a people pleaser, so leading up to my attempts, I was very cautious on letting my friends know I loved them. And my notes would always contain that it wasn't their fault because they meant so much to me.
Not like what I was attempting would have felt very good either, ya know?
@@lillylovegood2300blowing up relationships is a very, very common behavior for suicidal people. Just like giving away prized possessions or withdrawing from previously enjoyable activities.
It's honestly really sad and gross that you, a person who struggled with suicidal ideation, are judging the obviously mentally ill actions of someone struggling.
She may have thought it would be easier for him to hate her than to grieve her. I can 100% understand that mentality. Honestly, I feel that way too. It is a struggle, and everyone who goes through it does it differently.
This reminds me of a story; OP's wife came out of the closet as a lesbian to OP and left him and their two daughters (13 and 10 I think). Then for four years, OP took care of their kids, even though he was struggling mentally. Then, the wife came back saying "Oh, my new partner (who was actually a affair mistress as well) and I didn't have a good relationship, and only after short time, we broke up and I was on the streets for awhile, can I come be a mother again, pretty pretty please?" You know what the daughters reactions were? Anger, pure f*cking anger. They hated that she would abandoned them for so long and just come back into their lives like nothing happened. I bet if the OP from the second story decided to show up, the kids might be a same reaction, though might not cause the boys are about seven and the daughter just being a little older, but that's what I think.
My brother was below 5 when my father was finally removed from the house (my mum kicked him out due to abusive reasons towards her)
Even at that young, you can see the truth (in a custody battle, he drew my mum and stepdad on one area TOGETHER, and my dad ALONE.)
The age doesn't matter. Subconsciously, they choose the one who doesn't abandon them no matter how much they love that person.
OP2: B17ch abandoned her kids and then "okay, I'm ready to play mommy now!" Hahahahano.
Also in regards to her parents, I bet Dad is limiting contact to prevent some kind of grandparents rights claim.
My mom's friend had a huge crush on my dad, so she married one of his brothers and after she had two girls with him, started telling everyone that they were my dad's love children. Suffice to say, they got divorced, and my mom stopped being friends with her. She also was emotionally abusive with her daughters and they have nothing to do with her as adults.
Damn
Last story: it's one thing if OP went to a rehabilitation center for her PPD, the BF would've understood that she needed help to be a better parent and partner. This isn't it.
Are there such things as rehab centers for ppd ? (Genuine question, i know nothing about that and i'm not from the US either)
@@mayflyrose8195hospitals/mental health cneters
What's crazy is that I don't even think the OP of the second story realizes that she ACTUALLY abandoned her children. She probably just thinks "I'm just taking a vacation, everyone takes them. No harm, no foul. I'll be back when I'm done." It's absolutely insane to me how......how.....lacking she is in the brain area to think she say she wants to see her children so nonchalantly as if she just took a weekend vacation or something. Awesome Dad, btw
Story 2: _Assuming_ OP could find a lawyer to take her case, I would love to see what the judge had to say when he dismissed it 'With Prejudice.'
I always love when Karens snitch on themselves and then get destroyed in the comments.
Story 1: Who knows if she even meant what she told OP? I may have actually read a comment on r/BestofRedditorUpdates suggesting she didn't even have feelings for the guy, but was struggling with suicidal thoughts and told him lies to make it "easier." I'm not sure if it was this story, but if not, it was a similar situation. Could be that she was in fact pushing him away, or was having an episode of some sort.
Even if that's not the case, it still isn't OP's fault. Clearly she was struggling. I wish him the best. :(
I 100% believe this is what happened. Burning Bridges is one of the top 3 most common behaviors of someone planning a suic*de, along with giving away prized possessions and self isolation (which she did by fleeing the country leaving everything in her home behind) its heartbreaking there was nobody in her life that questioned this sudden change in behavior, maybe she could've gotten help and saved them both the devastation.
Oof, well that changes things a lot.
That was actually my first thought after hearing the first story… that she might have not even meant what she said. Depression could really mess with your head 😥
That first story... Yikes OP. He deserves so much better. Not only did his ex-wife never really loved her husband, and only married OP to get close to his best friend that she basically buried her feelings for a decade. She was basically torturing OP mentally and emotionally, what an absolute garbage human being.
The wife was a selfish witch with a b.
I got the impression that she was a deeply, deeply disturbed person rather than actively malicious. These people function like a destructive force of nature, destroying lives because they don't or can't fix their own problems.
I believe I already hear this story before and she only said all that stuff to him because she was planning on end everything. And she wanted him hate her instead of grieving
Oh man i remember reading this first story on the subreddit, it was so insane.
Edit: okay it was actually the second story, because I remember reading the kids were raised by wolves and I thought it was really by wolves lol, but it was so much worse, the mothers such a horrible person. People found her other comments from other subreddits and people were like huhhh is this your job now after abandoning your kids 😭
What job?
Wolfpacks usually have one parental mated pair and the rest of the pack help with the cubs. An admirable system.
@@madgevanness4011it does like the term "It take village to raise a child"
GOOD I’m glad that shit followed her! She *deserves* to have it thrown in her face everywhere she turns.
It takes a village to raise a child is a saying for a reason, love how everyone stepped up to help the father take care of his children.
So true! I was tearing up reading that comment! I’m sure thanks to the Wolfpack raising those three “pups”, they are going to remember that as the best years of their lives!
"Rage a child"... damn those are some angry kids!
I laughed a little bit to hard at that mistake XD
Rage a child? Damn! Must've been hard for those 7 years.
@@Love2Banime I didn’t even notice that 😂
@@basvs3906 me too now that I’m aware of it 😂
Massive props to everyone who came together to help this single dad with his kids. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and this is a spectacular example of that.
How many WOMEN are abandoned by MEN, to raise children alone?
Usually when a parent is exhausted, you do a couple things:
1. Tired parent sleeps in
2. Ordering takeout
3. maybe sending the tired parent on a girls trip with her friends OVERNIGHT or a WEEKEND, AND usually not far (if applicable)
NOT TRAVELING ABROAD FOR MONTHS, THAT TURNED INTO YEARS!!!!!
7….years…that’s the beginning of elementary school. First steps, first words, baby formula to solid foods, preschool, kindergarten…all passed OP by and she will never be able to redo that with them.
Post partem depression is in fact real, but you DONT go galavanting across the other side of the earth to heal OR “find yourself”. You go to therapy, you see a doctor, you REMAIN FOR YOUR CHILDREN.
Absolutely appalling. Easiest 5/5 score ever. Glad the dad had the lawyer friend to keep op’s parents away, too.
"This is why I don't like to give out 5/5 butthole scores so I can save them for people like you OP." I love the delivery of that line. Just perfect.
I'm not a parent myself. I can understand that a parent might need some time off, but abandoning them for seven years? Yeah, you don't deserve to be part of their lives, they're better off without you.
Story 1 is so sad. Wasting over a decade of someone's life is incredible cruel.
8:25 the shock in your voice that she prolonged her travel to 2 YEARS and then you instantly switching up to karen voice was the best thing i heard today
In the second story, those kids are so lucky. They might have not have their mother or maternal grandparents, they have an amazing father and at least 3(most likely more, the commenter specifically pointed 3 people so thats the minimum) fun and helping uncles. I think those kids are happy, and will be functioning members of society, especially without the mothers influence.
R/bestof are my Personal favorite
Same!! :D
Me too! A lot of the stories have such satisfying updates.
They have the most interesting stories
same here my guy :0
r/entitledparents & r/choosingbeggars for me
Rslash never disappoints. One of the best stories ever. Truely a villain.
Story 2 : the level of audacity OP has thinking she deserves any actual second of bonding with the father's kids is almost fascinating.
Like, how the heck can you be this clueless and entitled??
OP's boyfriend in the second story should be owed 7 years of child support, with interest
I wonder if the wife was being truthful about being in love with the best friend. OP brought up a baby and his wife just stopped. Like if there was a kid she couldnt just leave. She leaves, goes to a different county (which meant she had the money and plan to do so) and took her own life. That's so premeditated. Like she said EXACTLY what it would take for OP to not try and stop her.
Why she had to jump through so much hoops for leaving OP? This isn't like a movie with convoluted plot.
Story 2: I'm so glad we got an update from a third party involved. The fact the neighborhood came together for the kids is amazing. Their mother is a failure as a human. But their dad seems golden.
You don't get this many friends who are good people to keep helping you out unless your a good person too. I'm glad when the dad needed help from the world the world answered
"I left my kids to travel for two years and now I don't understand my ex won't let me see them????!!!" yeah that's your problem lady, you abandoned them for two years...
Lady, kids aren’t a video game save file. You can’t just ignore them for years and then pick right back up where you left off.
story 2: jesus christ. those kids really have an entire army at their beckon call. good luck to the OP if she wants anything to do with them. i wouldnt be surprised if there were some army guys or marines or something in that enourmous pack of people who raised those kids.
not that OP deserves any relationship with the children, but if she tries anyway, i feel like she will get a blasting worthy of sagas and songs.
"I'm still a rich party girl and can't be tied down to family responsibility just yet. so I'm going to go see the world."
7 years later after passionately loving random people across the world, getting STDs, and now you want to come back? No thanks... I don't want you to be a bad example for MY kids!
I always feel so bad when I need a day break from my kids, even though my partner is amazing about it. This is mind-blowing.
i almost envy single dad in the second story, because he got some strong power of friendship going on.
That first story was so sad glad it had a semi happy ending though. It was nice to see his wife accepting some responsibility. Story 2 was insane. Can not imagine how any parent could just walk away from their own kids for seven years. I don't believe the postpartum thing either, my bet is she saw how much work two twins was and just didn't want to deal with three kids.
I don't quite buy it either. She may have had postpartum but she may have used it as an excuse to dump all responsibilities onto her ex-Super Baby Daddy (who is doing a much better job raising the kids alongside his wolfpack) and go party around the world.
That second story is beyond insane. I am so glad that someone created a burner account just to clap back at her.
There needs to be an r/WORSTofredditorupdates
Story 2: Man R/ is so mad he didn't even sincere his curse word. You're a bit wrong in the time line though, OP left to go travel for two years, decided she was ready to be a parent but didn't want to have to face her family after being gone for so long, so she took a job in Europe in a desperate attempt to run away from her Shane for the other 4 years. But what really got me was the part where she threatened to take him to court for custody, like she abandon them at such an early age for so long that there's no way these kids have any kind of emotional attachment to her.
When you hear stories like these, you find yourself wondering "how is this person even real?" Like, I get that having a lot of money can mess people's touch of reality.. but, seriously, how can a grown woman just.. disappear like this?
Last story: as a parent I have taken a solo trip away with notice to my husband and for basically a long weekend. I think it is ok to get away for a long weekend/ week once in a while if you let someone know but 2 months (which turned into 7 years) with no notice is wrong
For the first story my thinking is that the wife might have simply just been suicidal from the start and lied about being in love with OPs friend because she thought it would “help” OP get over her easier than if he’d still cared about her ☹️
Then why didn't she tell him throughout those 10 years?
@@Love2Banime Why didn’t she tell him she was suicidal? I don’t know, man. Lots of people seemingly happy people commit suicide all the time.
It's not every day we hear Rslash swear uncensored, but when he does... it's always so satisfying because it's always deserved
6:44 I do. She's a stalker. She needed to be close to him, even if from afar. OP was collateral.
Her suicide could even be because she realised how much damage she did or because now she had no way to be close to the friend any more.
1st story.
My wife was friends with an older woman when I first met her. Not great friends, but there was talk anout letting her live with us for awhile as she was going through a divorce.
That never happened, because they both worked at the same store, friend became manager, and turned into a total tyrant.
She fired people left and right, constantly threatened to do so with my wife, and even forced her to show up with a hurt foot to prove she was injured and to get her paycheck since she wouldn't give it to me.
Fast forward a couple months. Manager totals her car, is shocked none of her employees are willing to give her a ride, and after a couple weeks she just vanishes. No calls, no quitting, just gone.
Month later we find out she stole a car, left the state, and unalived herself, and that it was discovered she had a massive and undiagnosed brain tumor. So, some Karens are made, not born.
Well they do say "It takes a village". So good to see the friends stepping up.
The first story actually had some interesting comments speculating that the wife was lying about her friend. The idea is that she was already planning suicide and this lie was her misguided attempt to push OOP away so he wouldn’t grieve as much when she died.
We’ll never know for sure, but this theory is actually kind of compelling to me. It’s weird to me that neither OOP nor his friend had any hints about her feelings even in retrospect. And if she was being honest, then her sudden decision to open up to OOP after perfectly concealing her emotions for years is also really strange. The lie theory also explains her aversion to having children; she didn’t want to leave behind an orphan.
It's endearing how the dad's bros simply mobilized to help with the kids, babysit, attend tea parties, buy kids stuff. Absolute KINGS behavior! The dad might have a terrible taste for women, but he damn knows how to choose his friends.
So as a child abuse survivor, my mother actually left my father as they had a bad marriage, to put it politely. She would tell everyone she ran because she was in danger and it was a “dangerous household” for my brother and I, but she straight abandoned us for 2 years. It was not roses with my father and he used violence to “discipline”, but has acknowledged his wrongdoing to me as an adult and has massively changed his attitude throughout the years. My mother on the other hand, eventually got custody of me and my brother and we had a miserable childhood.
I was forced to care for my brother like he was my own child, I actually learnt recently how much of my dads wages were paid to my mother (through wage dedication or whatever the term is, where he legally has to pay) and I’ve actually no idea where this money went, because she often went out with random men and partied, whilst at home the bills were often left unpaid, debt collectors would come to the house where I had to talk to scary dudes as a child, and we barely had food in the house. She tried to poison my mind against my father from a young age, she managed to convince my brother he was the worst human being in existence (and he still acts angrily towards him from what dad has told me), and because she couldn’t poison me against him she instead made my brother the golden child and I the scapegoat.
That led to more neglect, more caring for my brother full time like he was my own child when I was barely a teen, and growing up where my brothers violence was encouraged whilst my mother bought him alcohol from age 12 (actually wish I was kidding). I spoke to my dad about this recently as we were both ranting a little about life in general and he was trying to get an understanding why his son, a 30 year old man now, is still so angry in life, and I explained the gaslighting, manipulation, playing favourites, the violence, the neglect, buying him alcohol at 12 and still buying him alcohol now as a full on alcoholic, and how I haven’t spoken to neither of them in roughy 6/7 years.
My dad said to me
“My greatest regret is not fighting for you in court, as you know I divorced your mother, I took on her debts, I dealt with her insane friends, and then my mother, your grandmother, she died, and the depression became too much and I stopped fighting as I was struggling, and it’s my greatest regret”
“And I don’t blame you, the court system was horribly biased against you, you had a more of less stable home, a stable job, you could prove she wasn’t fit to be a mother, and the court decided ‘the mother is best’ when that was clearly the wrong decision”
“But you should kinda blame me, right?”
“Why? For having depression? A crappy wife who cheated on you all the time? A court system who failed you? That’s not on you, society just hasn’t changed nearly enough to acknowledge that sometimes the kids are better off with the father and not the mother”
So yeah, some of us get abandoned by our mothers, for me it was straight abandonment whilst she told everyone how her kids were “in danger” but didn’t do anything because she didn’t want to, she only got custody to hurt my father, to be neglected my whole childhood with her, and you know where that led her? Being entirely cut off from me, I’m so well protected by my close friends and unofficially adoptive family that they won’t even allow any contact attempts, they have a whole system in place to protect me from my mother and brother and I’ll forever be grateful to have them rally around me like this.
I’m also friends with a guy who’s a single father, his ex walked out when their baby was 6 months old tho as opposed to 9 years old like I was, so his kid never knew his mother. She tried appearing in their lives when his son was 10 and he straight up said “lol no”, and she disappeared after 1 week, she only wanted money. He’s been brought up as a lovely young man (now 17) by his father and his grandmother, very polite, considerate, kind, he’s everything his mother isn’t, and is a testament to his dad, and his dad is incredibly proud of the young man he’s become!
11:51 this evidence doesn't fully confirm Dabney's suspicions, but does solidify the speculations
I love how its “AITA for trying to get back into my kids lives” and not “AITA for ghosting my partner and three babies under three for seven years to vacation and party” people on reddit will say anything to make their shitty behavior not seem as bad
She really took "alright, I'mma head out" in a whole different way
I'm getting terminal illness vibes from the first story. Like she had something she felt she wasn't going to survive, so she took a final trip, tried to give OP closure (which only made things worse), and overdosed to get out. Maybe I'm overthinking things.
girl if you have postpartum depression you seek therapy, take some time to rest (I mean like a week or two not several years), maybe take a week’s vacation. Then you come back and you be there for your husband and your kids! You don’t just leave for several months, continue to tell your husband you’re not ready to come back, stay for an extra 2 years, pick up a job in Thailand for another 3 years, then decide you’re ready to be involved again!
When you're a parent, you don't get to take off for years and come back later.
The dads friends are extremely based and are absolute gems.
"My wife died"
Me very loudly: "What the f**k!?!?"
A very clairvoyant OP: "You may say what the f**k after reading this"
You can't just go to Europe alone when you have children. You have got to take your kids and partner.
Story 2: the fathers side of raising his children without the mother who basically abandoned them are the literal definitions of "it takes a whole village to raise a child"
I love it when Dabney talks dirty.
The organism in the second story totally deserves it.
Story 1: What OP means to say is 10 years of his wife stalking his best friend.
OP has some audacity to wanna be a parent now.
When my wife or I need a break from our toddler, it's for maybe a day. My wife usually goes on a mommy-daughter date while I sleep in, or vice versa. It's typically never longer than a few hours. I love being around my child, she just gets really rambunctious. That toddler energy is something else 😅
Story 2: You know what they say "It takes a Village."
Gonna say the OP of 2 probably should have died instead of the Ex in Story 1. So many ways on a trip around the world.Get eaten by sharks while surfing, eat poison fugu fish preped wrong, crushed by a church bell, mauled by tigers. The possibilities are endless.
Story 2 I wish we could have heard some of the comments ripping into her.
Op2 is a coward just like op1 ex wife ...
The second story I heard before on tiktok, basically that "mom" is Lou from "The Fresh Prince", she doesn't deserve crap
I'd wager that Dabney is right, and Op's parents likely bankrolled her 7 year vacation. Adding to that theory, I'm guessing the parents refused to continue to give her money unless she made it so they could see the kids more often. I sincerely doubt she slithered back into their lives because she suddenly missed them.
It sounds like those kids missed out on nothing.
I’m so annoyed that the deadbeat egg donor of a “mother” having the nerve to threaten to sue for custody, I almost had an aneurysm hearing that part.
I always enjoy hearing a story of a person who say they want to travel and see the world, and you just know what they really mean is that they want no responsiblity of any kind and just party without any consequences whatsoever.
Wanting to travel the world is fine if you have no responsibilities, which is what many people do, me included, but to run away from a family like that is something else entirely!
I abandoned my family for 7 years ❌
I took a break from my family for 7 years ✅
Honestly, that woman doesn't deserve to be called a mother, she's just an egg donor. You seriously can't think your kids are gonna want a relationship with you when you abandoned them and their amazing father to party for 7 years. So thankful that everyone helped with the dad, I'm happy that he and those kids have been getting the help that they need.
Story 2: Honestly, OP's kids are better off without her in their lives. You all know that saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." Well clearly OP was Joanna Kramer (Meryl Streep's character in the movie Kramer vs Kramer) in this situation and didn't want to be apart of that village. To the kids, their real family is made up of their dad, his side of the family, and all of the friends and neighbors who pitched in to help raise them while OP's parents are only acquaintances and OP herself is a complete stranger.
Im still shocked you can make one of these every day. There the true highlight of my morning and i cant thank you enough for them rSlash :3
He doesn't make one everyday. More like he makes enough content over the course of 5 days to fill up 7 days. Also, he has an editor that puts it all together for him and there are videos that are already queued up a few days (or more) in advance. He could go off on a one week vacation right now and probably still have a couple of days to spare before absolutely needing to record more material in order to miss a day.
A bit of a story time, I thought of it with the second story!
My best friend is dating this guy, and I don't personally like him at all. But he has had a shitty life growing up, so I sympathize I tiny bit, but not enough to think he's an okay person.
His mom basically stole him away from his bio dad and never let them see each other to a point that he admits to this day he thinks of his dad more as a friend than a dad. His mom never taught him how to take care of himself, INCLUDING brushing his teeth or washing his hands after using the restroom. When he turned 18, she straight up left him to go travel. He claims she asked and he was okay with it, but there was obviously manipulation involved, why would you want your mother to leave you alone to take care of yourself. And to top it off, his mother's extended family moved into the house to "take care of him", but they straight up abused him and the uncle threatened to kill him, forcing him to make the decision to move out. But she ended up coming back to his area and forced her way back into his life.
And for whatever reason, he still makes excuses for her. Doesn't defend his girlfriend, but sides with mom. I don't know what's going on in his head, but he's convinced Mommy can do no wrong. So I'm saying kudos to the dad for not allowing that toxic witch back in the kids lives. There could've been a reality where mom manipulated them into thinking she did nothing wrong and they start to favor her over the dad who raised them alone.
2 story: grandparent's rights. If dad accepted money and assistance from the grandparents, they would have grounds to sue the dad for custody of the kids.
They only saw the kids a couple of times so no, not in this particular case.
@bbjjbb61 That's why I stated he didn't accept money from them, and limited contact with the grandparents was established with the update.
depends on the state.
@GiordanDiodato absolutely does depend on the state. Going off the update, the lawyer friend gave the dad great advice on how to proceed. Grandparents are probably loaded and can out spend the dad in court. So, no chances taken by dad.
The second story omg, like feeling overwhelmed is valid, running away is not. She was out of these kids lives for a majority of the time then just wants to waltz back in like nothing happened. She couldve talked to her husband, she couldve tried therapy, literally anything else besides running away
11:30 why am i imagining those rowdy men as bald and having motorcycle club jackets and exesive amounts of tatoos ? :D
Story 1: Op definitely shouldn’t feel bad for telling someone about why his wife left him.
Something about the first story tells me that the wife had planned her ending from the start and was using the love she used to have for OP’s friend as a reason to cut ties with him. Idk, i could be completely off base
Second story: this man knew the best people in the world and decided to have kids with the worst one
Rslash narrators the story: ...
Rslash narrators in the Karen voice: "Oh boy, sh*ts about to get real!"
One of my grandmas sisters also left her husband and kids, for 7 years she travel the world. When she came back home she expected that everything would go back to normal. Everyone hated her for abandon her family. I cant imagine what went through her head to think that everyone would welcome her back with open arms
So I recently heard the other side of this story from the husband and i never expected to see the other side of the awful mother story i hope rslash finds it and reads it
That lady sounds addicted to parasocial relationships. I had an ex like that who would fixate on unobtainable partners and/or celebrities. She eventually became obsessed with me while I was in a relationship, but a year later when I was single we started dating. Once I was no longer unobtainable and was her boyfriend, she immediately became cold and extremely abusive. We only dated for 3 months, and the last two months were absolute hell.