I've never accepted any of the words of kindness regarding my appearance or personality. I'm overweight which has always been an internal and external source of ridicule. And i internalized the distain and turned it into self hatred and even self harm. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman and I'm so worried that she'll grow tired of the sight of me and my constant self deprecation.
Sometimes I'll feel ugly no matter what, and I just tell myself that this feeling is temporary and that it doesn't define how I really look and how I'll always feel about myself. I've also realized that when I look in the mirror my eyes will immediately lock onto the parts that I don't like myself, so I try now to force myself to focus on the parts that I do like about myself.
Charlotte! Girl! From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Seriously. You're videos to me have been so eye opening and aligned to everything I'm going through in my life. Keep showing up as authentically as you do. You're out here changing lifes!
wow.. this video came at the perfect time. i was just starting to obsess over my apperance :( your right that insecurities crop up no matter what you look like. i was scouted to be a model and get complimented regularly but still feel very sub-par. to the point of even posting my photos on rating sites.. i've also been bullied for my looks. i think having a lot of attention on your physical apperance, wheter that be 'positive' or 'negative', can mess with your self-worth if you start to believe that's all people see you as.,, esp as a kid when we're forming our identity.
But I don't think I've ever been told by anyone directly that I'm ugly, other than a comment on my smile once, rather the opposite all throughout my life, perhaps it's the comparison in my head, all the appearance changes I desire but havent yet had/made (e.g. weight loss, hair growth,) or the fear of no longer fitting into those peoples perception of beauty. Maybe my actions sometimes, saying something then not doing so, not following through with my words and a lack of self control. I also feel a lot of it comes from my loneliness, if I'm "so beautiful" as they tell me, why do I not have any friends? But now I understand that's not the reason, rather how I am so quiet and never make any first moves, a big factor of this is my autism. Knowing makes it even more difficult, having to accept this, because now I have to go back through and heal from all these other things; there's been a change and with the nature of humans, we are usually inclined to stay somewhere known no matter how bad for us it may be, as long as it's fairly comfortable. But it is important to break out of that, it's what I've been working on for the past year and I do see significant improvement to my understanding.
the entire video i really felt my inner child throwing the walls up, crossing their arms like a 2 year old and going "I dont need to say nice things about myself! whats even the point!" and right then I realized that im defensive because this is exactly what ive been doing for years. Ive been a huge bully to myself as long as I can remember and hiding it behind this quest to heal my psyche and improve myself and my life. Mirroring will become part of my journey :) thank you for this video, eye opener.
i just want to say it's amazing and powerful that you are becoming aware of your own tendencies, and i wish you the best of luck on your self-love journey 🥰
Thank you, dear, for such a wonderful video. It’s something that needs to be repeated often, especially in today’s world where we are so hard on ourselves, unwilling to accept imperfections, and where women are not allowed to age, gain weight, or prioritize anything over their appearance. My own story is sadly quite typical. I had a beautiful but cruel mother. From an early age, I was told I wasn’t enough-never pretty enough, my hands weren’t elegant enough (imagine telling this to an 8yo), my hair was bad, my appetite too big, and so on. Then she passed away at just 35 years old. She died young and beautiful, and the family began to idolize her. Now, I am 35, the same age she was then. I have a loving husband, a wonderful son, friends, and hobbies. But even after years of therapy, I still struggle to accept myself, to see myself through different eyes. Her voice still echoes in my mind, constantly whispering that I am “not enough.”
Needed this video today because I potentially have gained weight for the first time which is so unusual for me and having chronic health issues❤ can’t wait to watch! Thank you
Weight fluctuations can be so tough bc people might start treating you differently. It sucks! But as someone who has been big my whole life, feeling good about yourself is the best defense to that mistreatment
I came across ur channel by accident lol...and I gotta say ..WOW...ur so insightful very knowledgeable..such a gorgeous beautiful all around ..u have this beautiful way to relay what y r saying ..I love it
It’s rough being a short, ugly and physically deformed manlet. Seeing other guys, born blessed, getting all the social interaction I could only dream of. My only option is to compensate with the gym and money. But even then, the social interaction I’ll get won’t even be genuine, so it’s pointless. If only I had better genes.
Doesn't really address the issue, but then again, nothing really can. Your appearance just defines so much of your life - it's not just that beauty is generally an advantage, but moreso that ugliness is a massive disadvantage. All the negative perceptions and fears ugly people have are generally simply real. People just don't like you as much, if at all. They are more inclined to leave you. It influences basically all human relationships and social situations - even the way teachers and parents interact with children, and we are social animals to the core. It's harder to get employed and earn a good salary, and especially if you have any other disadvantage it is easily the difference between having a livable, good life or not. Good and average looking people just never have to face all this like this, and they generally somehow simultaneously both know these things as self-evident and pretend they don't exist. The fact that some people have insecurities about minor or nonexisting things doesn't change any of this at all. There's a reason so many people fear being ugly as much as they do, to the point of irrationality.
I understand. If you believe this to be true, then it will be. I've been plus size my whole life. I know people treat me differently as a result of my size. I used to let that dictate how I felt about myself and limit what I can do ('You can't do TH-cam bc no one will find you inspiring, people don't want to look like you, you're too unattractive to get people to stop and watch, etc…") But at some point I decided I can let it derail me/make me limit myself or I can choose to take control of my thoughts and what I believe is possible for me and choose to think differently. And that's what I'm trying to get across in this video. If you want to maintain this worldview, that is absolutely your prerogative.
I feel like female beauty is so much more subjective. if I showed a woman I think is not the perfect beauty standard or a woman I think is unconventionally attractive, I suspect there would be a LOT of disagreement. But that sort of speaks to what I'm saying in the video even more. The beauty standards are impossible. There will always be some way we do not conform to them. We cannot be at their mercy. This is about doing the internal work.
I appreciate that but I’m also plus size, which drastically changes my experience moving through the world. There is no beauty standard bc the beauty standard is purposely unattainable to keep us stuck. There will always be some standard you’re not meeting.
@@stevielove4778 that’s for people who are spiritual. If it doesn’t resonate, leave it. I’m talking to hundreds of people at a time. Not everything will apply to everyone ❤️
I've never accepted any of the words of kindness regarding my appearance or personality. I'm overweight which has always been an internal and external source of ridicule. And i internalized the distain and turned it into self hatred and even self harm. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman and I'm so worried that she'll grow tired of the sight of me and my constant self deprecation.
girl you are such a beautiful inside out person❤ your videos are like a hug
Omg that’s so rewarding to hear. Thank you!!!
Sometimes I'll feel ugly no matter what, and I just tell myself that this feeling is temporary and that it doesn't define how I really look and how I'll always feel about myself. I've also realized that when I look in the mirror my eyes will immediately lock onto the parts that I don't like myself, so I try now to force myself to focus on the parts that I do like about myself.
“You are using self awareness as a guise to be mean to yourself.”
Damn, that did not feel good but I needed to be called out.
Self compassion is the answer!!! Thank you for getting to the end of the video. That feels good ❤️
Wow💯💯💯
Generational trauma and body dysmorphia here ❤
Charlotte! Girl! From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Seriously. You're videos to me have been so eye opening and aligned to everything I'm going through in my life. Keep showing up as authentically as you do. You're out here changing lifes!
omg you should have a podcast that would be everything
i genuinely love you fr it feels like i am getting all the guidance i needed from a big sister : D
That means so much! thank you! I’m so glad the content resonates with you ❤️
wow.. this video came at the perfect time. i was just starting to obsess over my apperance :(
your right that insecurities crop up no matter what you look like. i was scouted to be a model and get complimented regularly but still feel very sub-par. to the point of even posting my photos on rating sites.. i've also been bullied for my looks.
i think having a lot of attention on your physical apperance, wheter that be 'positive' or 'negative', can mess with your self-worth if you start to believe that's all people see you as.,, esp as a kid when we're forming our identity.
Yes I think if people tell you “your value add is beauty”, you start to feel like you’ll never be beautiful enough. It’s only human!
1 MIN AGO LETS GOOOO I NEED THIS EXACT VIDEO SO BAD RN . Taking an 11:47 am bath 🛁
Just stumbled on this channel and surprised but the even the titles of the videos have started to make me cry....man.....
But I don't think I've ever been told by anyone directly that I'm ugly, other than a comment on my smile once, rather the opposite all throughout my life, perhaps it's the comparison in my head, all the appearance changes I desire but havent yet had/made (e.g. weight loss, hair growth,) or the fear of no longer fitting into those peoples perception of beauty. Maybe my actions sometimes, saying something then not doing so, not following through with my words and a lack of self control. I also feel a lot of it comes from my loneliness, if I'm "so beautiful" as they tell me, why do I not have any friends? But now I understand that's not the reason, rather how I am so quiet and never make any first moves, a big factor of this is my autism. Knowing makes it even more difficult, having to accept this, because now I have to go back through and heal from all these other things; there's been a change and with the nature of humans, we are usually inclined to stay somewhere known no matter how bad for us it may be, as long as it's fairly comfortable. But it is important to break out of that, it's what I've been working on for the past year and I do see significant improvement to my understanding.
Thank you! I always use self awareness as a reason to criticize myself. The mirror exercise is a helpful habit to develop. Big hug!
the entire video i really felt my inner child throwing the walls up, crossing their arms like a 2 year old and going "I dont need to say nice things about myself! whats even the point!" and right then I realized that im defensive because this is exactly what ive been doing for years. Ive been a huge bully to myself as long as I can remember and hiding it behind this quest to heal my psyche and improve myself and my life. Mirroring will become part of my journey :) thank you for this video, eye opener.
i just want to say it's amazing and powerful that you are becoming aware of your own tendencies, and i wish you the best of luck on your self-love journey 🥰
We’re all so hard on ourselves! I’m proud of you for having such a break through. That’s huge!!
ooh that’s perfect timing, can’t wait to hear your wisdom 😆❤️
Thank you, dear, for such a wonderful video. It’s something that needs to be repeated often, especially in today’s world where we are so hard on ourselves, unwilling to accept imperfections, and where women are not allowed to age, gain weight, or prioritize anything over their appearance.
My own story is sadly quite typical. I had a beautiful but cruel mother. From an early age, I was told I wasn’t enough-never pretty enough, my hands weren’t elegant enough (imagine telling this to an 8yo), my hair was bad, my appetite too big, and so on. Then she passed away at just 35 years old. She died young and beautiful, and the family began to idolize her.
Now, I am 35, the same age she was then. I have a loving husband, a wonderful son, friends, and hobbies. But even after years of therapy, I still struggle to accept myself, to see myself through different eyes. Her voice still echoes in my mind, constantly whispering that I am “not enough.”
Needed this video today because I potentially have gained weight for the first time which is so unusual for me and having chronic health issues❤ can’t wait to watch! Thank you
Weight fluctuations can be so tough bc people might start treating you differently. It sucks! But as someone who has been big my whole life, feeling good about yourself is the best defense to that mistreatment
@@charlottemorabito 😊😊
i've been binging your videos since you started posting. keep going! we love your content
I adore you! You’ve helped me so much along the way❤
I'm so glad! Thank you for being here!
I came across ur channel by accident lol...and I gotta say ..WOW...ur so insightful very knowledgeable..such a gorgeous beautiful all around ..u have this beautiful way to relay what y r saying ..I love it
This is my favorite kind of content ❤️ especially the part about makeup! It shouldn’t be about covering up, just self expression 🫶🏻
I love seeing more people use makeup as art and not just for hiding! It's all about self-love!
Perfect timing ❤ ..... Need more positive words to survive the situation 😢
It’s rough being a short, ugly and physically deformed manlet. Seeing other guys, born blessed, getting all the social interaction I could only dream of.
My only option is to compensate with the gym and money. But even then, the social interaction I’ll get won’t even be genuine, so it’s pointless.
If only I had better genes.
Yes ma’am, more content around this topic, please.❤
U look so pretty !! Ur shining
Doesn't really address the issue, but then again, nothing really can. Your appearance just defines so much of your life - it's not just that beauty is generally an advantage, but moreso that ugliness is a massive disadvantage. All the negative perceptions and fears ugly people have are generally simply real. People just don't like you as much, if at all. They are more inclined to leave you. It influences basically all human relationships and social situations - even the way teachers and parents interact with children, and we are social animals to the core. It's harder to get employed and earn a good salary, and especially if you have any other disadvantage it is easily the difference between having a livable, good life or not. Good and average looking people just never have to face all this like this, and they generally somehow simultaneously both know these things as self-evident and pretend they don't exist. The fact that some people have insecurities about minor or nonexisting things doesn't change any of this at all. There's a reason so many people fear being ugly as much as they do, to the point of irrationality.
I understand. If you believe this to be true, then it will be. I've been plus size my whole life. I know people treat me differently as a result of my size. I used to let that dictate how I felt about myself and limit what I can do ('You can't do TH-cam bc no one will find you inspiring, people don't want to look like you, you're too unattractive to get people to stop and watch, etc…") But at some point I decided I can let it derail me/make me limit myself or I can choose to take control of my thoughts and what I believe is possible for me and choose to think differently. And that's what I'm trying to get across in this video. If you want to maintain this worldview, that is absolutely your prerogative.
i subscribed a few days ago and manifested this vid
I love that!!!!
you are beautiful ♥️
The way you pronounced je in "je ne sais qoui" 😂
@@Saranda4787 yeah I pronounced it like an American haha it’s commonly used term here!
Oh my god you made me cry. What did i do to you? Lol we need to be friends.
You showed only men when you said they were imperfect but people found them attractive.
I feel like female beauty is so much more subjective. if I showed a woman I think is not the perfect beauty standard or a woman I think is unconventionally attractive, I suspect there would be a LOT of disagreement. But that sort of speaks to what I'm saying in the video even more. The beauty standards are impossible. There will always be some way we do not conform to them. We cannot be at their mercy. This is about doing the internal work.
I really can’t keep going on like this because I’m so hot I just need to know that 😩
You can say anything because you're beautiful 😞
I appreciate that but I’m also plus size, which drastically changes my experience moving through the world. There is no beauty standard bc the beauty standard is purposely unattainable to keep us stuck. There will always be some standard you’re not meeting.
Can i see this beeing a guy?
“Your soul chose your body for a reason” OOF. Was so ready to take and accept some advice but you really lost me there.
@@stevielove4778 that’s for people who are spiritual. If it doesn’t resonate, leave it. I’m talking to hundreds of people at a time. Not everything will apply to everyone ❤️
Lol😂