coming back after several years to announce that, i no longer relate to this song anymore. i never knew writing smth like this would make me so proud. to all my vocaloid boomers, i hope you're doing well now
as someone who also grew up coping with vocaloid songs too, im extremely happy for you!! its not easy to get rid of past hurt like that but u still did :D
also a vocaloid boomer. this song is maki me cry, your comment is too. i cant believe i cant relate anymore. i cant believe i am here right now, breathing and alive. its crazy how much music can help me through so much
That beautiful moment when after studying Japanese for a month, you feel like your going no where until you hear a random Japanese song and realize you understand almost half of the lyrics :D YAY!
I think it says love/ to the person most important to you As in when she was a child, maybe in class she was writing this for her mum Which makes it even sadder because she loves her mum even though she has caused so much suffering to her
I think it's about a girl who's just tired. Not of living but of life. Her mum just gets mad at her for nothing. Screams at her daughter. Saying ugly things to her that she doesn't mean. The girl gets so hurt and caught up with all these words... But the mother doesn't see that because she hides it too well. If the girl would show her feelings her mother would call her selfish, and other ugly things for being to weak. That is why she never cries. In the end she's just tired of making herself up as a lie, She wants the real her to come and kill the lies. But she cant do so as long as her mother is like that. So.. it's only.. Game over.. Update: just want to let everyone know that it's really not okay to be treated this way. It's abusive and No One has the right to control your life but you. There's help you can get.. never be ashamed of how you feel, and let your voices be heard. I wrote this comment six years Ago. And Four years Ago i reported My abuser and broke free. I feel so sorry for all of you, but things Will eventually get better. I'm rooting for you all ❤️
Emi your description somehow explains exactly how I interpreted the song and unfortunately also describes my everyday life....I have a support group but as long as I'm beating myself down and the adults around me (mostly my mom) keep beating me down, there's no way anyone can save me. You basically hit the jackpot with that first sentence - I'm not tired of living, I'm tired of life. I'm sorry we both have to feel this way.
Anime Obsessed im rly sorry ik this sounds super cliche n all but things WILL eventually get better!!! u can kik me on Ashie_x33 if u need someone to talk to :3
Kreated Chaos you'll be surprised, 6 years ago i had an abusive mother who let out her anger on me, i was beaten everyday she would take my laptop for 4-7 weeks whenever i forget to wash the dishes or something.. now i have the best mother i could ever ask for, i am the luckiest person right now and i can never imagine losing her, please dont give up ily
@@rowanclip3235 Yes but Rolling Girl and Tawagoto Speaker are more relatable because of both the lyrics *and* melody. Self Inflicted Achromatic just doesn't have the same effect.
@@wiemotobie7547 I see where you're coming from, but SIA really hurts you if you've been in a simular situation to it. But I understand your point of view as well
This song gives me a weird feeling. Don't get me wrong I'm completely in love with this song. But .. There's a feeling this song gives me that doesn't have words to describe it, crazy how music can do that..
I used to relate to this song and listen to it non stop a few years ago... And I used to think that I was just listening to it because I felt edgy at the time or something like that. But now I realize... No, it wasn't just because I was an edgy teenager, my mom used to shout at me and get angry for every little thing, (even hit me when I was a child because I "cried too much") but when I needed some emotional support, she was simply not there. She would even make fun of me crying or feeling angry, any kind of emotion that wasn't happiness. So I got used to hide all my "negative" feelings and just tried to entertain everybody with my jokes, and make them see how wonderful of a person I was, even though I constantly felt guilty for not living up to their expectations. Thank God I know realize how much of an abusive person she is. Now I don't have to hide behind a facade anymore.
Haha I have the same. I was rised in very abusive house hold (I'm SA survivor and one of my abuser was trying to convince me to su$cide) Now I'm just BPD insane but I work with animals as I always dreamed about and I'm at least free
Anybody who thinks that, I honestly think is you sat them down and read the lyrics to Uninstall or ANY of the story of evil scripts they would not stop regretting thinking otherwise. YES there are vocaloid songs about nothing YES there are vocaloid songs just about sex and other nonsense But I could name at least 30 vocaloid songs that are fucking beautiful. Its art in the form of a song.
+Scratchy Towel THANK YOU! I am a huge fan of Vocaloid, but some people give me crap about it. I just want to scream "READ THESE LYRICS, THEN TELL ME YOUR OPINION!" I agree that this is "art in a form of a song." That's one of the things I love about this program, it give people the ability to express themselves or make a statement.
This song feels like a typical parent and child relation (the hard way) and this just makes me feel lucky that i have my friends and family who supports me because everyone doesn't have that, and those who are struggling with family problems, You are a beautiful person and no one can tell you you're not good enough! Because they never looked beyond the hard shell you carrying around with you all the time. But if they crack it open just a little, a beautiful smile and a beautiful light will shine upon them and then they will finally see what kind of human being they never noticed or cared about, just how warm hearted and caring that person actually is. You my friend, Are a shining beauty and i know it! Don't let other people bring you down! They just haven't seen that smile of yours yet.
If only everyone is a beautiful person in the inside. I'm such a sensitive person in the inside, and no one needs a crybaby in this world. The real me is worst than the fake me. Each words told at the real me can either break me down or lift me up. That kind of real persona has no right to be respected at all. If only this world works in a manner you mentioned...
Inota Ami Don't think that way! You know, too many flowers don't even recognize their beauty (because they are flowers and... argh, shut up, logical me xD). What I want to say: You may not think so, but there are definately people who would and do like you, I'm totally sure of it. ;P
The lyrics are so deep,for instance,"I'm only a lie that makes up 'me' " the meaning behind this is really strong,when people say they're fine,and act bubbly,while they are lying,to make up that person,instead of their sad self,Or "I'm only a clown,I laugh I laugh" how we try to impress/entertain people,while we are suffering,every line of this song holds a meaning, one that nobody can understand unless they've felt it,simply amazing.
I think at exactly 3:54 Miku is standing on a roof of some kind... And afterwards it shows her jumping... O_o... *goes to cry on a stranger's shoulder*
Holy shit; despite having listened to this song countless times, I never noticed that detail. Thank you for making this PV INFINITELY MORE SAD FOR ME SOB
i used to know someone who related to this song. I don't speak with her anymore, her life was a wild ride. I offered her to come live with me and everything but I guess we were too young back then. I always think about her. I miss her but she probably has no idea who I am anymore. I just hope she's doing okay now. I niss you, Denni.
I can say that this song was the way I felt during all those years, but now those scars are recovering. So, if you're having a bad time, hey, you're not alone. I belive in you. And not only me, I bet a lot of people do. You can do it :)
Maybe she's tearing it, because she thinks that Miku is worthless anyway, and Miku just tries to prove (with the school grades) that she is a good girl. But her mother just thinks that she cheated or something, and then makes Miku thinking that she is worthless, and her whole life is just satisfing her mother by showing her, how good she is at school, but instead Miku's not seeing how alone she is. (Also not noticing that she is harming herself, because of the pressure she can't take) But the mother doesn't give a shit about her daughter and doesn't understand that she just tries to reach her mother to say that she loves her, and that she wanted to be loved by Mom as well (That's how I see the whole song)
this song.......like most sad songs bring the pain from life and put it to words its sad in true in our unique ways all the pain I've felt in the past and present is like this song
FYI The words at 3.10 are 你最的人 which translates to The person who you the most It is assumed that the blurred out/cancelled words say loved and her answer? 妈妈(if you're wondering why it looms different, the video uses traditional chinese) Which translates to her mother, which is the cause of her suffering, due to her words and actions
Elize Lin wow, I never actually realized the lyrics were in Mandarin and not japanese. Looking at it, though, you're correct. I don't see any words unique to japanese there. Thank you for pointing all those things out.
Actually, the word seems like the shape of a Chinese word "重要",which means "important" in English. So basically it's saying that "the most important person to you" and that person,according to this video is the main character's mom.Which is pretty ironic as her mom abuse her mentally and physically.
A few thoughts: 1. I like how the song and its end sound broken, perhaps representative of the broken girl 2. That Accordion is amazing 3. I like the part where the music switches sides (especially with earbuds) 4. The chorus also sounds good 5. One of the few sad songs I like now
Hey, For whatever you're going through right now no matter how much it sucks you into your own mind and holds you there, it's all temporary. Everything is temporary and it always changes. I dont want you to give up on what amazing things are waiting for you to find in life. It just takes searching. I promise you'll find something beautiful one day.
I used to listen to this on loop cus I was depressed as shit like I have a comment on here from 6 years ago lol. im much better now and it feels strange to listen to these songs again after so long
3:30 At the end, you can see her finally seeing her mom when shewas her age and had faced difficulties like her, maybe that's why she was so hard on her, projecting her pain further into her daughter. This makes her finally smile with sympathy for her mother, realizing her familiar pain. Her mother does know her heart and doesn't want her to get hurt 3:25 but things are more complicated. Humans are humans.
That's a sweet interpretation and it's my first time hearing something like that! However I'm pretty sure that the person strangling and the person getting strangled are both Miku. She's either killing herself or metaphorically killing her "fake" self, and she's smiling in relief.
It’s amazing how powerful vocaloid music is. There’s a meaning behind every lyric, just waiting to be listened to. This song brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it because of how beautifully it was composed, and sang. Things will get better. Trust me.
A vocaloid song has never made me cry before. except for this one. Idk why. Ive never had any suicidal thoughts but something about this song just makes me sob.
To be honest im just jealous that almost all people here just moved on with their past. Only I just live in there. I'm free for 5 years but i still have nightmares and scars
i used to listen to this song every day as a freshman in highschool. listening to this again is so bitter sweet and back so many memories from the darkest moments of my entire life. i was convinced i wouldn’t make it past sophomore year and now i’m a freshman in college, and i’m doing tremendously better. i’m so glad something in me had the courage to reach out for help. because it truly does get better :-)
I didn't think that I would find a song that i would relate to so much... It makes me remember all of the things that happened a long time ago... The terrible things that are the unspeakable...
This is a song that is about depression, in my eyes. A girl is terribly hopeless but is too afraid to speak out, so she keeps hurting herself until someone notices. And in the end, no one does, so she, believing herself a lie, kills herself.
0:32 ~ 1:09 describes me. As 5 years has already passed and yet I still don't trust anyone. I'm living in a world of lies and I hate it. Everyday at school, no one notice me at all. Even they bump into me and they turn around, they act as if no one was there. I may have support from my family of living, but not for love. No one knows the theory of "Give and Take". Also, I have already killed my emotions and my most important emotion. Love, Happiness and smile. I have an emotionless expression...
“i used to relate to this song, i don’t anymore” how? depression is chronic. it’s lifelong. it doesn’t just disappear, i don’t understand how you were cured.
guessing you mean the top comment, they never even specified they had clinical depression & people can make lifestyle changes that can alleviate the symptoms of depression which in turn can put away dark thoughts for a good period of time. nobody said they were cured either, just that they're no longer feeling the same feelings they once did.
therapy and consistency.. it doesn't go away, yes, but you can always manage it (I'm saying this as someone who has had taken anti depressants and anxiety medication for over 6 years, since start of high-school) it's taken me that many years to be off medication and sometimes I feel that emptiness or anxiety in my chest, but I know its temporary and eventually I'll feel better (unlike years ago) this might not be that helpful but it's just my experience.. I hope you're okay, healing takes time and it's different for everyone, so try not to be too hard on yourself
To anyone that can relate: it gets better. I know it never feels like it will, but i promise you it will. It might take a long time or it might be quick. It will get better. Don't give up on yourself just yet :)
damn i forgot how depressing this is,thankfully the composer is ok from what i know,since im pretty sure no one with an good mental health would do this
At first i thought this was a good song to use for my OC, but only after a week of animating, I’ve realized it’s not about him, I’ve been making it about myself. I cant wait to leave this house.
I just wonder the story that it was a girl who cut herself because her mom was like that is kinda real but maybe it's like this The girl was bullied and she committed suicide without her mother knowing because her mother is mentally unstable and she "saw" the girl which was an illusion a "lie" that created her but even then the mother acted like she didn't care about her because she didn't want to hurt her, but then the illusion confronts her (so the mom confronts herself about the truth)and takes her to her daughters room where to body still is there with all the help written on the walls and that and the illusion disappears crying and laughing and the mom realizes what has happened and realizes that the things she did to her daughter made her commit suicide she kills herself too next to her body and smiles crying too This is just my version I think the other one makes a lot more sense thought but you'll never know right XD
This song was my comfort place back when I was in High School, it still is because of the memories, but back then it help me realize that I wasn't ok. My mom is a narcissistic mother, she used to hit me and bit me into pieces when I did not meet her expectations. Well, she kind of still does but fortunately, I just don’t care anymore and I accepted the fact I will never be good enough for her and she will always be disappointed with me. Also, she does not hit me anymore. Being mentally and physically abused, I remember that many times she said something like: “I want to smash your head against the wall. I want to kill you” and on various occasions, I did respond “then, why not? Kill me, but just do it, I prefer that over keep living this way”. She never did, but instead, she did punch me or pull my hair and I always wondered why she didn't do what she said she desired to. Then, when I came across this song I just couldn't stop relating to it. I used to cry nonstop whenever I heard it since I was also taught to numb myself and I never learned to think about my feelings. So, this song was one of the first mini steps for me to begin expressing Myself, even if it wasn't with my voice. Honestly, I owe Vocaloid and the creator of this masterpiece a lot. It would have taken me more if it was not for you to get in contact with my inner voice, and it may have ended in tragedy because I was drowning.
(Warning: Don't read if you get triggered easily) I may not be depressed or suicidal but I relate to this song, I really hate the way I act and who I am as a person I've tried to talk to people but I just end up lying saying I'm fine and not feeling sad ever since I was young bad stuff happened to my family at this point I've been having very bad anxiety attacks breaking down while fighting with family members who say "You are just hiding behind anxiety" "Stop faking" "Stop lying to get out of things" I try to stop but I can't I'm have a really bad relation with my Father who has very had anger issues and is causing chaos in my family the only reason we see the other family which is related to him is because My father's big brother and My Mother's younger sister are married I try to escape reality by going on my phone a lot it doesn't help that I have autism anyway don't be like me and hide behind lies and try to escape reality if any thing bad is happening between your family get someone to help you...
ah, i remember listening to this years ago and relating to it so bad it would always made me cry im happy to say i no longer relate to this and feel better, but for anyone who does, things get better. trust me, it's always going to get better
I used to listen to this song in the car on my way to the hospital or in the waiting room before getting my blood sampled all the time, covering the sound of the disappointed words of my parents; it still hurts so much
pfft im so stupid- was i the only one who didn't know? at 3:30 , the one who killed her wasn't the older lady in the song. sure, that lady might have influenced miku, but in the end it was miku who ended it. she was the one choking herself. "to forgive, i cannot, even myself."
I listened to this song 3 years ago and i was going trough bad times..now when i came back to listen to it, it brought back some momories...but now im ok
What's confusing about this song is that sometimes she's talking to her mom, and other times it's to herself. In the beginning she's talking to her mom, then she talks to herself from "when the day breaks" on. Then it goes back to her mom at "To me" on. And again to herself when she starts to choke herself. See, there's 'her' that masks pain by laughing it off, and her who is her true emotion. Her mom hurts her with ill words, and she plays as if he's okay for people when she isn't.
Here's what I think the video's about: Miku lives in a run-down house with her Mom, who has to work all of the time to support the poor family. Her father died when she was young. Miku doesn't get good grades in school, and her Mom doesn't like that. Her Mom never liked her in the first place, and probably blamed her for the death of he husband, or Miku's father. Also, her Mom always criticized and insulted her, not realizing that the words had a heavy toll on Miku. So, as Miku grew up, her Mom never helped her, and as a result, Miku became an awkward child (hence the with bad grades. And in top of all that, she is depressed because she is unloved. But, she doesn't tell anyone, and appears to always be happy outside of her house. So, Miku's when Miku isn't staying after school (3:01) she's home alone, since her Mom is always out if the house. One day, Miku wants to tell her Mom about her depression, so she waits until she comes home. When she tries to tell her Mom, she just pushes Miku away. Then, Miku falls to the ground, and she is strangled not by her mom, but herself (if you watch closely). Miku cries as she strangles herself, but the Miku being strangled is happy. Then, the video ends when she jumps of off the building and commits suicide, like in the beginning of the video. What I think the strangling represented Miku giving up and dying. One part of her is upset and doesn't want to die, but the other is happy because she's finally free. OR, the Miku strangling herself represents her feelings when she jumped off of the building, and the Miku being strangled symbolizes how she feels after she dies. That's just my guess.
I have to just put this out there, I love this song. at times I feel I relate to it to a high extent at times. Okay so I have to also just put out there that my mother and father seem like those average, loving parents which makes the next part almost impossible to believe unless you're me or have experienced watching it. In the house I am mentally abused. If you don't know what that is, let me give you a brief example in my perspective of such actions. My mother manipulates me and my father, mostly him, into her own will. When little things she dislikes, let's say... I didn't do well in one project at school by a point, she would yell at me words like "Why don't you ever try in class" or "Are you even realizing that you are not smart enough for the class" and such. Yes, parents sometimes get angry and say things they don't mean, I know. But let's tell you the story about this one time that really was sadistic. My mother recently grounded me and when I came out of my room after hiding away from reality, she yelled out my name but I didn't hear her so she screamed, basically, my name. Being first time I heard, I of course slightly yelled back since I was upstairs that she should be patient. Being a tart, she said how I need to pay attention to things more important than my attention deprived tendencies, aka my depressive side. She said that I need to actually grow up and stop being a childish whiney brat and start actually doing something in my life besides sit on my ass and carve lines in my arms purposely wearing long sleeves and make up to seem as if I were one of the people who actually are suicidal. This wasn't the first time. The funny part is that later that day or less than 24 hours she comes to me and says she is sorry and won't hurt me again. One time she actually hurt me physically. She got so fed up after me telling her that I needed to comfort my friend since our best friend committed suicide and she said how I never comfort HER when she's depressed. You see, the only time she acts like she's suicidal is when it's near when I am, putting the spotlight on her. The usual thing is saying how Dad and I never care for her and she runs to the master bedroom and locks the door. She then breaks a glass vase or a candle holder loudly and screams like she hurt herself. Then it goes silent for hours and she runs back down and gets the car keys and drives off and is there for a few hours. Sometimes she goes out of the room or back inside saying how we don't care since we didn't go up/out to stop her. She then comes back and pretends like nothing happens, or if you go by the most recent time I got yelled at it was because I apparently don't care about anything but myself. So today I was on my computer creating a video when she took my earbuds out and slammed my laptop shut on my hand, which actually fucked everything up- and I have to fix it at some point. She asked me why I'm failing math class, and tired of being reminded I said the same thing as always; I don't know why, since I turn everything in. She clearly doesn't believe me, since she yelled out "Stop lying to me, you selfish bitch, and tell me why I see 7 zeros in power school" removing my hand from being squished under my laptop I stood up and went to the stairs to leave the situation, saying "I don't need to start a fight" and I tried leaving when a cup was tossed at me, breaking and cutting part of me. After that I went to my room and into my closet to hide. My mom scares me, honestly. So I decided to call my best friend, who was my boyfriend but ended today, about the situation. I walked out of my closet and talked on the phone with him when I was caught. My mom yelled at me to get off and I did. I sat in my room still when she barged into my room and handed me her phone with my dad on it. I talked to him and told him what went on and he didn't believe me, saying that he doesn't trust my word since mom told him beforehand that I would say it's her fault for every 'emotional out spurt I have' since I was bawling and that I'm a manipulative piece of shit. Now if they wasn't enough I was caught cutting a week ago and instead of removing the blades from possession she decided to keep saying how I wouldn't be suffering if I only listened to her, that I should actually try for once in school, that I should start being grateful for what she does for me, and saying that if I actually did somethibg worth living I wouldn't be the way I am. What is funny is that I actually don't say shit about my depression or my suicidal tendencies unless I am trying to stop myself from doing it and needing help that isn't paid for. At the same time she also says that I am the reason she'd kill herself since, again, I'm ungrateful for what she does for me. Those are just small examples when there are a lot of stuff about my past she decides to judge it saying I'm making it up and that I'm insane and should keep my head in reality- so sweet. She said that me being molested and raped was just a lie for attention when, ahem, excuse me? She wasn't there to witness shit when I was over at friend's houses and almost shot and killed if I didn't obey IN SCHOOL. Sigh. Anyways, yeah, thought I'd vent somewhere.
Spider Queen Holy shit dude, that’s fucking terrible. I really hope things get better for you. Much love from a stranger, don’t be afraid to call the police or any higher-ups for help!
Hey, I know you posted this 4yrs ago but I sincerely hope you're doing better. None of that deserved to happen to you and I'm so sorry you were abused by people who clearly don't understand how to raise a child. It's gonna be a bumpy road however things will smooth out at some point. I'm rooting for you. I hope you'll keep going.
I used to drown myself in this song on Flipnote, NicoNico, and TH-cam. I used to live under very similar circumstances as the girl Miku portrays in the MV. Thankfully, I don't rely on this song for comfort anymore. ❤ I promise things will get better, you will escape your circumstances, and you will heal from those terrible wounds.
I think this song is about Miku struggling in school and her grades are bad, which makes her mum lash out on her. and with dealing with bullies, school and home she cuts herself while hiding her emotions, In the end she kills herself...
But at 03:01 you can see the mother tearing a paper with a very good school grade on it. So I think Miku just tries to show her mother that she is a good girl, but her mother doesnt see that and makes her thinking that she is worthless, by abusing her in a mental and physical way. So Miku's harming and killing herself. By thinking that she nothing more than just a clown.
I don’t really know why but this song motivates me to doodle.. just doodle. no matter how messy. I have always wanted a doodle style kind of exactly like this music vid
I used to listen to this song years ago, when my life was at the lowest point basically, since then, things have improved in various ways, my life isn't perfect, but I can say I'm a lot happier than before :)
I realised that at my lowest point I never actually related to this song, I only related to the pain I could feel from it If I have been lucky enough to have such a good life then guess I should strive to keep it that way
I've had this song on my phone for 2 years, never knew the composer, I come back and realize it's from Nekobolo, and I've been into his works waaay before I found out 😂
This song got me through a very difficult time in my life. I was abused by an ex boyfriend. And now, this song doesn't trigger a fight or flight response of him coming back. It gives me hope for the future. ❤
I relate to this song so much like at school I always feel like an idiot every time I say som it comes out wrong or people just ignore me. I feel like I can't be heard at all like I'm an idiot I feel so anxious and akward that I can't socialize properly. It's like I don't belong
creepy kitten I feel you... I can relate to it to much, wich is pretty bad considering this a depressing song you know? But I listen to it 24/7 whenever I'm feeling down, idk it just inspires me in a way words can't explain...
I have been trying to beat my depression. But depression is a part of me, so no matter what I do it will come back. I am doing better though. The moral of my story? Just try even if it looks pointless.
When I heard this song, it was a Czech cover by one person and somehow I didn't understand what she was singing about despite the fact that it was in a language I understood. And it's been some time since I've known that song both in the original and in the Czech version, and the more I listened to it, the more I felt the suffering from that song and in that voice, and I started to identify with that song more and more, and you started to notice how fragile the human psyche can be and how the people who are and were around me had a weak one and of course that is not a shame. And that is one of the reasons why I said that I want to be a psychologist. I know it will not guarantee 100% that if I ever become a psychologist, I will be able to help every patient psychologically, but I want to at least be sure that I can help the people around me mentally.
Rolling Girl is almost the same with this Personality Complex is a bit like this too but it only focuses on the masks Miku is hiding and in the end she didnt commit suicide
Im sobbing so hard knowing I had this on repeat in middle school, relating but never fully really getting it. That inner child in me is still hurting. I'm in a tremendouly better place now and no contact with the bio family that hurt me but ouch... 🥺🥲 Takes me back in all the wrong ways, I still love this song
This song is really wonderful...the music makes you wanna cry...and then you hear the lyrics and I'm like "Damn't! STOP BEING SO AWESOME THAT IT MAKES ME WANNA CRY!"
![[Hatsune Miku] Hyperventilation Dance 過呼吸ダンス PV (English Subs)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1mRvICojl20/mqdefault.jpg)
coming back after several years to announce that, i no longer relate to this song anymore. i never knew writing smth like this would make me so proud. to all my vocaloid boomers, i hope you're doing well now
So happy for you! ♥️
thank you 🥺
as someone who also grew up coping with vocaloid songs too, im extremely happy for you!! its not easy to get rid of past hurt like that but u still did :D
also a vocaloid boomer. this song is maki me cry, your comment is too. i cant believe i cant relate anymore. i cant believe i am here right now, breathing and alive. its crazy how much music can help me through so much
fellow vocaloid boomer here joining the party. i've also left my abusive home and am in trauma therapy now. i'm proud of all of you
Remember when everyone used this song in a flip note
YESSSS
+Madelyn Fitzmaurice True.
Omg yes
That's how I discovered vocaloid tbh
This is how I recognize this damn song
That beautiful moment when after studying Japanese for a month, you feel like your going no where until you hear a random Japanese song and realize you understand almost half of the lyrics :D YAY!
yess *^*
Brannon Franklin Awesome!
If you knew 1/9 th of the words, and you looked at the rest, is that considered cheating?
The Bacon Queen 101 I don't think so, hehe.
A MONTH???!!!!
(I studied for 8 months and it's still difficult for me to understand)
Notice for people on mobile: at 3:09 ,when Miku is writing the letter,it says "Who do you lo--(love/loathe) the most,mom?" A part being scribbled out.
I think it says love/ to the person most important to you
As in when she was a child, maybe in class she was writing this for her mum
Which makes it even sadder because she loves her mum even though she has caused so much suffering to her
I think it's about a girl who's just tired. Not of living but of life. Her mum just gets mad at her for nothing. Screams at her daughter. Saying ugly things to her that she doesn't mean. The girl gets so hurt and caught up with all these words... But the mother doesn't see that because she hides it too well. If the girl would show her feelings her mother would call her selfish, and other ugly things for being to weak. That is why she never cries. In the end she's just tired of making herself up as a lie, She wants the real her to come and kill the lies. But she cant do so as long as her mother is like that. So.. it's only.. Game over..
Update:
just want to let everyone know that it's really not okay to be treated this way. It's abusive and No One has the right to control your life but you. There's help you can get.. never be ashamed of how you feel, and let your voices be heard. I wrote this comment six years Ago. And Four years Ago i reported My abuser and broke free. I feel so sorry for all of you, but things Will eventually get better. I'm rooting for you all ❤️
SugoiJagaimo i feel you.
Emi your description somehow explains exactly how I interpreted the song and unfortunately also describes my everyday life....I have a support group but as long as I'm beating myself down and the adults around me (mostly my mom) keep beating me down, there's no way anyone can save me. You basically hit the jackpot with that first sentence - I'm not tired of living, I'm tired of life. I'm sorry we both have to feel this way.
Andrea H you can write to me if you want to talk about it!!
Emi that's what my mom is like
Dad is like that to mom, mom is like that to me. But I somehow understand her so I just endure it
I used to relate to this song, im glad i dont anymore.. guys IT WILL GET BETTER
I'm glad you don't relate to this anymore :)
I relate to it now...
Anime Obsessed im rly sorry ik this sounds super cliche n all but things WILL eventually get better!!! u can kik me on Ashie_x33 if u need someone to talk to :3
getting better isn't always an option.
Kreated Chaos you'll be surprised, 6 years ago i had an abusive mother who let out her anger on me, i was beaten everyday she would take my laptop for 4-7 weeks whenever i forget to wash the dishes or something.. now i have the best mother i could ever ask for, i am the luckiest person right now and i can never imagine losing her, please dont give up ily
this will always be one of my favourite vocaloid songs
Same here
Listen to Len's version, it sounds even better *q*
KagamineChan Link plz
watch?v=Gk2SoIRK_gI
BroSkylar same
And yet people still say that Vocaloid music is just nonsense and meaningless.
right!
Ikr!
i love vocaloid its the best songs i've listened to
R Farrand unlike music now days it has a meaning
"nonsense and meaningless"
"nonsense speaker"
ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED
rolling girl and tawagoto speaker are songs that I can relate too...I like songs with deep meanings
Yes, me too
Oof, you should listen to Self Inflicted Achromatic
@@rowanclip3235 Yes but Rolling Girl and Tawagoto Speaker are more relatable because of both the lyrics *and* melody. Self Inflicted Achromatic just doesn't have the same effect.
@@wiemotobie7547
I see where you're coming from, but SIA really hurts you if you've been in a simular situation to it. But I understand your point of view as well
Same you can also conect them
This song gives me a weird feeling. Don't get me wrong I'm completely in love with this song. But .. There's a feeling this song gives me that doesn't have words to describe it, crazy how music can do that..
This song is kind of hypnotic. It's as if she's trying to tell you something but you don't get it - even if you completely understand the song
I know, it gives me nostalgia of a place I don't even know exists. It's weird.
Because You are/have experiencing/experienced what happened in this song in a parallel universe.
Cataloid
Cataloid
I used to relate to this song and listen to it non stop a few years ago... And I used to think that I was just listening to it because I felt edgy at the time or something like that.
But now I realize... No, it wasn't just because I was an edgy teenager, my mom used to shout at me and get angry for every little thing, (even hit me when I was a child because I "cried too much") but when I needed some emotional support, she was simply not there.
She would even make fun of me crying or feeling angry, any kind of emotion that wasn't happiness.
So I got used to hide all my "negative" feelings and just tried to entertain everybody with my jokes, and make them see how wonderful of a person I was, even though I constantly felt guilty for not living up to their expectations.
Thank God I know realize how much of an abusive person she is. Now I don't have to hide behind a facade anymore.
damn, I feel the same
Haha I have the same. I was rised in very abusive house hold (I'm SA survivor and one of my abuser was trying to convince me to su$cide)
Now I'm just BPD insane but I work with animals as I always dreamed about and I'm at least free
I was feeling similar. Thanks.
"Edgy teenager" is something dumb adults use to belittle our suffering.
It's really weird that people think Vocaloid isn't Art y'know?
Ikr?
+Scratchy Towel we need to FIRE them! yey!! :3
Anybody who thinks that, I honestly think is you sat them down and read the lyrics to Uninstall or ANY of the story of evil scripts they would not stop regretting thinking otherwise.
YES there are vocaloid songs about nothing
YES there are vocaloid songs just about sex and other nonsense
But I could name at least 30 vocaloid songs that are fucking beautiful. Its art in the form of a song.
I've heard a lot of people in my school, a lot of people on facebook, a lot of teachers, I could go on.
+Scratchy Towel THANK YOU! I am a huge fan of Vocaloid, but some people give me crap about it. I just want to scream "READ THESE LYRICS, THEN TELL ME YOUR OPINION!" I agree that this is "art in a form of a song." That's one of the things I love about this program, it give people the ability to express themselves or make a statement.
This song feels like a typical parent and child relation (the hard way) and this just makes me feel lucky that i have my friends and family who supports me because everyone doesn't have that, and those who are struggling with family problems, You are a beautiful person and no one can tell you you're not good enough! Because they never looked beyond the hard shell you carrying around with you all the time. But if they crack it open just a little, a beautiful smile and a beautiful light will shine upon them and then they will finally see what kind of human being they never noticed or cared about, just how warm hearted and caring that person actually is. You my friend, Are a shining beauty and i know it! Don't let other people bring you down! They just haven't seen that smile of yours yet.
If only everyone is a beautiful person in the inside. I'm such a sensitive person in the inside, and no one needs a crybaby in this world. The real me is worst than the fake me. Each words told at the real me can either break me down or lift me up. That kind of real persona has no right to be respected at all. If only this world works in a manner you mentioned...
I love you for saying this.
Thank you for saying this because i'm bullied at school and at home life gets harder
Inota Ami Don't think that way! You know, too many flowers don't even recognize their beauty (because they are flowers and... argh, shut up, logical me xD).
What I want to say: You may not think so, but there are definately people who would and do like you, I'm totally sure of it. ;P
Feifei :B I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL NOW I FEEL SUPER DEPRESSED THEN KINDA HAPPY WTF IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!?!
how it feels like to live with Asian parents who yells at you all day because you don't have all "A"s in your classes.
Same
m e
me
My parents aren't Asian but they yell at me for not having A's in my classes.
Main always told me i am wasting my life trying to be a game design. and say get a job and stop being lazy.
The lyrics are so deep,for instance,"I'm only a lie that makes up 'me' " the meaning behind this is really strong,when people say they're fine,and act bubbly,while they are lying,to make up that person,instead of their sad self,Or "I'm only a clown,I laugh I laugh" how we try to impress/entertain people,while we are suffering,every line of this song holds a meaning, one that nobody can understand unless they've felt it,simply amazing.
Exactly..
...and I can understand and relate to every single syllable in this song...
Yep
Yes
... R.I.P. dragonfly-chan... ;_;
R.I.P: The cat :'
Nah man rip the paint bucket
*Miku who-*
I think at exactly 3:54 Miku is standing on a roof of some kind... And afterwards it shows her jumping... O_o...
*goes to cry on a stranger's shoulder*
There there
Holy shit; despite having listened to this song countless times, I never noticed that detail. Thank you for making this PV INFINITELY MORE SAD FOR ME SOB
this is also what the video starts with btw, so the song is probably explaining why she does it, and then ending where is started
Erdana Ampora Eridan what are you doing here?
lemon kirby holy shit!!! I didn't see that!!!
i used to know someone who related to this song. I don't speak with her anymore, her life was a wild ride. I offered her to come live with me and everything but I guess we were too young back then. I always think about her. I miss her but she probably has no idea who I am anymore. I just hope she's doing okay now.
I niss you, Denni.
Hi, how is it now?
I hope both of you are doing well
I can say that this song was the way I felt during all those years, but now those scars are recovering. So, if you're having a bad time, hey, you're not alone. I belive in you. And not only me, I bet a lot of people do. You can do it :)
Thank you.
La Wonderbot Arigatou Gozaimasu! ♡♡♡
Thx
See on 3:02, miku's mom tearing a perfect test paper. She might be pressuring and abusing miku.
Saw that too
Maybe she's tearing it, because she thinks that Miku is worthless anyway, and Miku just tries to prove (with the school grades) that she is a good girl.
But her mother just thinks that she cheated or something, and then makes Miku thinking that she is worthless, and her whole life is just satisfing her mother by showing her, how good she is at school, but instead Miku's not seeing how alone she is.
(Also not noticing that she is harming herself, because of the pressure she can't take)
But the mother doesn't give a shit about her daughter and doesn't understand that she just tries to reach her mother to say that she loves her, and that she wanted to be loved by Mom as well
(That's how I see the whole song)
@@swagapiYeah
this song.......like most sad songs
bring the pain from life and put it to words
its sad in true in our unique ways
all the pain I've felt in the past
and present
is like this song
I think the same.
Btw good luck. How do u feel now?
FYI The words at 3.10 are
你最的人
which translates to
The person who you the most
It is assumed that the blurred out/cancelled words say loved
and her answer?
妈妈(if you're wondering why it looms different, the video uses traditional chinese)
Which translates to her mother, which is the cause of her suffering, due to her words and actions
Elize Lin wow, I never actually realized the lyrics were in Mandarin and not japanese. Looking at it, though, you're correct. I don't see any words unique to japanese there. Thank you for pointing all those things out.
Actually, the word seems like the shape of a Chinese word "重要",which means "important" in English. So basically it's saying that "the most important person to you" and that person,according to this video is the main character's mom.Which is pretty ironic as her mom abuse her mentally and physically.
Let’s pray this song won’t be forgotten in the sea of vocaloid songs out there.
Love you, Nekobolo and Hatsune Miku.
Me too.
A few thoughts:
1. I like how the song and its end sound broken, perhaps representative of the broken girl
2. That Accordion is amazing
3. I like the part where the music switches sides (especially with earbuds)
4. The chorus also sounds good
5. One of the few sad songs I like now
"I'm just a 'lie' that makes up 'me'." (0_X)
is the face oliver? (0_X)
Grace O'Neill ..."I am just a clown for the world I laugh I laugh" BOOM (X-X) *burst out cries*
Hey,
For whatever you're going through right now no matter how much it sucks you into your own mind and holds you there, it's all temporary. Everything is temporary and it always changes. I dont want you to give up on what amazing things are waiting for you to find in life. It just takes searching.
I promise you'll find something beautiful one day.
i dont watch jjba but thats a pretty nice pfp lol
Abuse isn't always physical.
Loved this song, simply beautiful.
same
yes
this is the fist time I've listened to it, and the om7 the feels
I used to listen to this on loop cus I was depressed as shit like I have a comment on here from 6 years ago lol. im much better now and it feels strange to listen to these songs again after so long
this song makes my heart ache
i had no business listening to this at 9 yrs old
real
this and ikanaide. honestly my favorites. they're so pretty
agree
Emily Richards I like sayoko
I agree
3:30 At the end, you can see her finally seeing her mom when shewas her age and had faced difficulties like her, maybe that's why she was so hard on her, projecting her pain further into her daughter. This makes her finally smile with sympathy for her mother, realizing her familiar pain. Her mother does know her heart and doesn't want her to get hurt 3:25 but things are more complicated. Humans are humans.
That's a sweet interpretation and it's my first time hearing something like that!
However I'm pretty sure that the person strangling and the person getting strangled are both Miku.
She's either killing herself or metaphorically killing her "fake" self, and she's smiling in relief.
@@inkcat7 you're right. This song is so sad but good.
....I listened to the song where there is a version as no one singing from a speed paint. I can't seem to find it anywhere..
if you search off vocal or instrumental you'll find it. here's a link to one th-cam.com/video/k-mnJdgUyOU/w-d-xo.html
Ah, thanks!!
patsel gore one? mlp?
Ohthats Thatkid Oh, yeah! That's where I watched it. Hahaha..
yeh haha
Even after many years i still have deep history with this song
It’s amazing how powerful vocaloid music is.
There’s a meaning behind every lyric, just waiting to be listened to.
This song brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it because of how beautifully it was composed, and sang.
Things will get better. Trust me.
A vocaloid song has never made me cry before.
except for this one. Idk why. Ive never had any suicidal thoughts but something about this song just makes me sob.
I feel like the song without vocals could have been something that played in Pokemon Emerald.
LOL YOU'RE RIGHT
Ironic since I actually found out this song through a Pokemon parody, with Manga Silver (Gen2 rival) instead of Miku
Ren Birch same, actually that video was the reason why I'm into vocaloid.
@@cieletoile2363 Same...
@Kily I knew vocaloid before, but i discovered tonnes of new songs thanks to pokemon parodies haha
To be honest im just jealous that almost all people here just moved on with their past.
Only I just live in there.
I'm free for 5 years but i still have nightmares and scars
Good luck. How is it now?
elementary school me used to listen to this song at night and cry myself to sleep 😭😭😭😭
2:42 oh miku, you love killing animals don't you. WHAT THE HELL, WHY WOULD SOMEONE EVEN THINK OF THAT.
Wow thats the only thing you picked up from this .... Just wow😔
i used to listen to this song every day as a freshman in highschool. listening to this again is so bitter sweet and back so many memories from the darkest moments of my entire life. i was convinced i wouldn’t make it past sophomore year and now i’m a freshman in college, and i’m doing tremendously better. i’m so glad something in me had the courage to reach out for help. because it truly does get better :-)
🫂🫂🫂
I didn't think that I would find a song that i would relate to so much... It makes me remember all of the things that happened a long time ago... The terrible things that are the unspeakable...
This is a song that is about depression, in my eyes. A girl is terribly hopeless but is too afraid to speak out, so she keeps hurting herself until someone notices. And in the end, no one does, so she, believing herself a lie, kills herself.
I believe she is ignored, put down and maybe even abused by her mother. But she blames herself for being useless instead of speaking up.
:( yeah
0:32 ~ 1:09 describes me. As 5 years has already passed and yet I still don't trust anyone. I'm living in a world of lies and I hate it. Everyday at school, no one notice me at all. Even they bump into me and they turn around, they act as if no one was there. I may have support from my family of living, but not for love. No one knows the theory of "Give and Take". Also, I have already killed my emotions and my most important emotion. Love, Happiness and smile. I have an emotionless expression...
I know im a bit late with the reaction but when i read this i feel bad for u and i mean it good and i just wanna be friends with u : )
its ok if u dont wanna i understand i have an emotionless expretion too
“i used to relate to this song, i don’t anymore”
how? depression is chronic. it’s lifelong. it doesn’t just disappear, i don’t understand how you were cured.
guessing you mean the top comment, they never even specified they had clinical depression & people can make lifestyle changes that can alleviate the symptoms of depression which in turn can put away dark thoughts for a good period of time.
nobody said they were cured either, just that they're no longer feeling the same feelings they once did.
scars dont heal but they do fade
therapy and consistency.. it doesn't go away, yes, but you can always manage it (I'm saying this as someone who has had taken anti depressants and anxiety medication for over 6 years, since start of high-school)
it's taken me that many years to be off medication and sometimes I feel that emptiness or anxiety in my chest, but I know its temporary and eventually I'll feel better (unlike years ago)
this might not be that helpful but it's just my experience.. I hope you're okay, healing takes time and it's different for everyone, so try not to be too hard on yourself
To anyone that can relate: it gets better. I know it never feels like it will, but i promise you it will. It might take a long time or it might be quick. It will get better. Don't give up on yourself just yet :)
💖
damn i forgot how depressing this is,thankfully the composer is ok from what i know,since im pretty sure no one with an good mental health would do this
2019 and I’m still crying over this song
At first i thought this was a good song to use for my OC, but only after a week of animating, I’ve realized it’s not about him, I’ve been making it about myself. I cant wait to leave this house.
These old comments give me nostalgia
I hope everything will be ok.
I absolutely love this simplistic sketchy artsyle, it can be much eerier(?) than much others overly detailed styles
Yea
miku kinda looks like maka from soul eater
i thought the same thing too!
I know right!
Note to self, dont binge these kinds of songs when you are majorly depressed...
I once heard this song YEARS ago, I've been looking for it ever since. And I finally found it..
I just wonder the story that it was a girl who cut herself because her mom was like that is kinda real but maybe it's like this
The girl was bullied and she committed suicide without her mother knowing because her mother is mentally unstable and she "saw" the girl which was an illusion a "lie" that created her but even then the mother acted like she didn't care about her because she didn't want to hurt her, but then the illusion confronts her (so the mom confronts herself about the truth)and takes her to her daughters room where to body still is there with all the help written on the walls and that and the illusion disappears crying and laughing and the mom realizes what has happened and realizes that the things she did to her daughter made her commit suicide she kills herself too next to her body and smiles crying too
This is just my version I think the other one makes a lot more sense thought but you'll never know right XD
Sweden DARK
Anime Liana Second You may be wrong on that again-
Anime Liana Second
wrong, it's about an abusing parent
This song was my comfort place back when I was in High School, it still is because of the memories, but back then it help me realize that I wasn't ok.
My mom is a narcissistic mother, she used to hit me and bit me into pieces when I did not meet her expectations. Well, she kind of still does but fortunately, I just don’t care anymore and I accepted the fact I will never be good enough for her and she will always be disappointed with me. Also, she does not hit me anymore.
Being mentally and physically abused, I remember that many times she said something like: “I want to smash your head against the wall. I want to kill you” and on various occasions, I did respond “then, why not? Kill me, but just do it, I prefer that over keep living this way”. She never did, but instead, she did punch me or pull my hair and I always wondered why she didn't do what she said she desired to.
Then, when I came across this song I just couldn't stop relating to it. I used to cry nonstop whenever I heard it since I was also taught to numb myself and I never learned to think about my feelings. So, this song was one of the first mini steps for me to begin expressing Myself, even if it wasn't with my voice.
Honestly, I owe Vocaloid and the creator of this masterpiece a lot. It would have taken me more if it was not for you to get in contact with my inner voice, and it may have ended in tragedy because I was drowning.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I hope things are better now.
I was feeling similar. How is your situation now?
this describes my heart in so many ways. people just don't see how much one has suffered.
I think this is very underrated. It's really beautiful.
(Warning: Don't read if you get triggered easily)
I may not be depressed or suicidal but I relate to this song, I really hate the way I act and who I am as a person I've tried to talk to people but I just end up lying saying I'm fine and not feeling sad ever since I was young bad stuff happened to my family at this point I've been having very bad anxiety attacks breaking down while fighting with family members who say "You are just hiding behind anxiety" "Stop faking" "Stop lying to get out of things" I try to stop but I can't I'm have a really bad relation with my Father who has very had anger issues and is causing chaos in my family the only reason we see the other family which is related to him is because My father's big brother and My Mother's younger sister are married I try to escape reality by going on my phone a lot it doesn't help that I have autism anyway don't be like me and hide behind lies and try to escape reality if any thing bad is happening between your family get someone to help you...
ah, i remember listening to this years ago and relating to it so bad it would always made me cry
im happy to say i no longer relate to this and feel better, but for anyone who does, things get better. trust me, it's always going to get better
I used to listen to this song in the car on my way to the hospital or in the waiting room before getting my blood sampled all the time, covering the sound of the disappointed words of my parents; it still hurts so much
I'M NOT CRYING YOU ARE CRYING
im not Woozi YOU ARE WOOZI
im not Jin YOU ARE JIN
this really brought up old memories
pfft im so stupid- was i the only one who didn't know? at 3:30 , the one who killed her wasn't the older lady in the song. sure, that lady might have influenced miku, but in the end it was miku who ended it. she was the one choking herself. "to forgive, i cannot, even myself."
I listened to this song 3 years ago and i was going trough bad times..now when i came back to listen to it, it brought back some momories...but now im ok
What's confusing about this song is that sometimes she's talking to her mom, and other times it's to herself. In the beginning she's talking to her mom, then she talks to herself from "when the day breaks" on. Then it goes back to her mom at "To me" on. And again to herself when she starts to choke herself. See, there's 'her' that masks pain by laughing it off, and her who is her true emotion. Her mom hurts her with ill words, and she plays as if he's okay for people when she isn't.
I feel so old, I was 12 when I listened to this songs and I really loved it with all my heart
Same... Listened to this at 13?
Here's what I think the video's about: Miku lives in a run-down house with her Mom, who has to work all of the time to support the poor family. Her father died when she was young. Miku doesn't get good grades in school, and her Mom doesn't like that. Her Mom never liked her in the first place, and probably blamed her for the death of he husband, or Miku's father. Also, her Mom always criticized and insulted her, not realizing that the words had a heavy toll on Miku. So, as Miku grew up, her Mom never helped her, and as a result, Miku became an awkward child (hence the with bad grades. And in top of all that, she is depressed because she is unloved. But, she doesn't tell anyone, and appears to always be happy outside of her house. So, Miku's when Miku isn't staying after school (3:01) she's home alone, since her Mom is always out if the house. One day, Miku wants to tell her Mom about her depression, so she waits until she comes home. When she tries to tell her Mom, she just pushes Miku away. Then, Miku falls to the ground, and she is strangled not by her mom, but herself (if you watch closely). Miku cries as she strangles herself, but the Miku being strangled is happy. Then, the video ends when she jumps of off the building and commits suicide, like in the beginning of the video. What I think the strangling represented Miku giving up and dying. One part of her is upset and doesn't want to die, but the other is happy because she's finally free. OR, the Miku strangling herself represents her feelings when she jumped off of the building, and the Miku being strangled symbolizes how she feels after she dies. That's just my guess.
I have to just put this out there, I love this song. at times I feel I relate to it to a high extent at times.
Okay so I have to also just put out there that my mother and father seem like those average, loving parents which makes the next part almost impossible to believe unless you're me or have experienced watching it. In the house I am mentally abused. If you don't know what that is, let me give you a brief example in my perspective of such actions. My mother manipulates me and my father, mostly him, into her own will. When little things she dislikes, let's say... I didn't do well in one project at school by a point, she would yell at me words like "Why don't you ever try in class" or "Are you even realizing that you are not smart enough for the class" and such. Yes, parents sometimes get angry and say things they don't mean, I know. But let's tell you the story about this one time that really was sadistic. My mother recently grounded me and when I came out of my room after hiding away from reality, she yelled out my name but I didn't hear her so she screamed, basically, my name. Being first time I heard, I of course slightly yelled back since I was upstairs that she should be patient. Being a tart, she said how I need to pay attention to things more important than my attention deprived tendencies, aka my depressive side. She said that I need to actually grow up and stop being a childish whiney brat and start actually doing something in my life besides sit on my ass and carve lines in my arms purposely wearing long sleeves and make up to seem as if I were one of the people who actually are suicidal. This wasn't the first time. The funny part is that later that day or less than 24 hours she comes to me and says she is sorry and won't hurt me again. One time she actually hurt me physically. She got so fed up after me telling her that I needed to comfort my friend since our best friend committed suicide and she said how I never comfort HER when she's depressed. You see, the only time she acts like she's suicidal is when it's near when I am, putting the spotlight on her. The usual thing is saying how Dad and I never care for her and she runs to the master bedroom and locks the door. She then breaks a glass vase or a candle holder loudly and screams like she hurt herself. Then it goes silent for hours and she runs back down and gets the car keys and drives off and is there for a few hours. Sometimes she goes out of the room or back inside saying how we don't care since we didn't go up/out to stop her. She then comes back and pretends like nothing happens, or if you go by the most recent time I got yelled at it was because I apparently don't care about anything but myself. So today I was on my computer creating a video when she took my earbuds out and slammed my laptop shut on my hand, which actually fucked everything up- and I have to fix it at some point. She asked me why I'm failing math class, and tired of being reminded I said the same thing as always; I don't know why, since I turn everything in. She clearly doesn't believe me, since she yelled out "Stop lying to me, you selfish bitch, and tell me why I see 7 zeros in power school" removing my hand from being squished under my laptop I stood up and went to the stairs to leave the situation, saying "I don't need to start a fight" and I tried leaving when a cup was tossed at me, breaking and cutting part of me. After that I went to my room and into my closet to hide. My mom scares me, honestly. So I decided to call my best friend, who was my boyfriend but ended today, about the situation. I walked out of my closet and talked on the phone with him when I was caught. My mom yelled at me to get off and I did. I sat in my room still when she barged into my room and handed me her phone with my dad on it. I talked to him and told him what went on and he didn't believe me, saying that he doesn't trust my word since mom told him beforehand that I would say it's her fault for every 'emotional out spurt I have' since I was bawling and that I'm a manipulative piece of shit. Now if they wasn't enough I was caught cutting a week ago and instead of removing the blades from possession she decided to keep saying how I wouldn't be suffering if I only listened to her, that I should actually try for once in school, that I should start being grateful for what she does for me, and saying that if I actually did somethibg worth living I wouldn't be the way I am. What is funny is that I actually don't say shit about my depression or my suicidal tendencies unless I am trying to stop myself from doing it and needing help that isn't paid for. At the same time she also says that I am the reason she'd kill herself since, again, I'm ungrateful for what she does for me. Those are just small examples when there are a lot of stuff about my past she decides to judge it saying I'm making it up and that I'm insane and should keep my head in reality- so sweet. She said that me being molested and raped was just a lie for attention when, ahem, excuse me? She wasn't there to witness shit when I was over at friend's houses and almost shot and killed if I didn't obey IN SCHOOL. Sigh. Anyways, yeah, thought I'd vent somewhere.
Spider Queen Holy shit dude, that’s fucking terrible. I really hope things get better for you.
Much love from a stranger, don’t be afraid to call the police or any higher-ups for help!
Hey, I know you posted this 4yrs ago but I sincerely hope you're doing better. None of that deserved to happen to you and I'm so sorry you were abused by people who clearly don't understand how to raise a child. It's gonna be a bumpy road however things will smooth out at some point. I'm rooting for you. I hope you'll keep going.
Im here 12 years later
I used to drown myself in this song on Flipnote, NicoNico, and TH-cam. I used to live under very similar circumstances as the girl Miku portrays in the MV. Thankfully, I don't rely on this song for comfort anymore. ❤ I promise things will get better, you will escape your circumstances, and you will heal from those terrible wounds.
Been vibin with this song since i was 10 yrs old
Were u a flipnote kid too? Lol
@@mienfoo123 yes lmao
used to relate to this song, but now, 4 years later, i can say i still do, even more than before!!
After listening to this song, I want to look into the eyes of people who say that Vocaloids are childish nonsense.
Me too
I think this song is about Miku struggling in school and her grades are bad, which makes her mum lash out on her. and with dealing with bullies, school and home she cuts herself while hiding her emotions,
In the end she kills herself...
But at 03:01 you can see the mother tearing a paper with a very good school grade on it.
So I think Miku just tries to show her mother that she is a good girl, but her mother doesnt see that and makes her thinking that she is worthless, by abusing her in a mental and physical way.
So Miku's harming and killing herself. By thinking that she nothing more than just a clown.
2:50 this segment has been burned into my memory, thanks Flipnote ✨😎
I don’t really know why but this song motivates me to doodle.. just doodle. no matter how messy. I have always wanted a doodle style kind of exactly like this music vid
No matter how many songs i like, in the end i always come back to this song. Still relate after 5 years
This was my first Vocaloid song before I knew what vocaloids were!
Whenever i feel heartbroken...i listen to this song and crys....thank you for making this music video........
I want to go back to when I was 13, everything was fun because I ignored all my problems. Being a weeb brought me happiness as a kid
I used to listen to this song years ago, when my life was at the lowest point basically, since then, things have improved in various ways, my life isn't perfect, but I can say I'm a lot happier than before :)
HOLY SHIT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS SONG FOR 6 YEARS I FINALLY FOUND IT
Amazing how such a calm song can carry such a positive tone even though it's so darkly deep.
Is anybody reminded of that Naruto ending song, Wind, when they listen to this?
yeS
PonyTMC OML YES IT DOES!! OMFG!!
IM NOT THE ONLY ONE
It's been like 10 years since the first time i listened to this song and it's still relatable lol
I realised that at my lowest point I never actually related to this song, I only related to the pain I could feel from it
If I have been lucky enough to have such a good life then guess I should strive to keep it that way
whaddup its literally been 8 years and i still cry when i hear this
I've had this song on my phone for 2 years, never knew the composer, I come back and realize it's from Nekobolo, and I've been into his works waaay before I found out 😂
This song got me through a very difficult time in my life. I was abused by an ex boyfriend. And now, this song doesn't trigger a fight or flight response of him coming back. It gives me hope for the future. ❤
I relate to this song so much like at school I always feel like an idiot every time I say som it comes out wrong or people just ignore me. I feel like I can't be heard at all like I'm an idiot I feel so anxious and akward that I can't socialize properly. It's like I don't belong
creepy kitten I feel you... I can relate to it to much, wich is pretty bad considering this a depressing song you know? But I listen to it 24/7 whenever I'm feeling down, idk it just inspires me in a way words can't explain...
creepy kitten I suffer with depression, so it helps.. you know...?
Thanks :) it means a lot
I have been trying to beat my depression. But depression is a part of me, so no matter what I do it will come back. I am doing better though. The moral of my story? Just try even if it looks pointless.
Hey how are you now? Do you feel Better? I actually relate a little to this song, so I'm not feeling that good.
This was one of my first vocaloid songs, and I always come back to it
Hello :) anybody still here? XD the comments are mostly 4 or 6 years ago--
lol wut? yes!! omg hi!! i thought i was the only one 🥺💕
When I heard this song, it was a Czech cover by one person and somehow I didn't understand what she was singing about despite the fact that it was in a language I understood. And it's been some time since I've known that song both in the original and in the Czech version, and the more I listened to it, the more I felt the suffering from that song and in that voice, and I started to identify with that song more and more, and you started to notice how fragile the human psyche can be and how the people who are and were around me had a weak one and of course that is not a shame. And that is one of the reasons why I said that I want to be a psychologist. I know it will not guarantee 100% that if I ever become a psychologist, I will be able to help every patient psychologically, but I want to at least be sure that I can help the people around me mentally.
Good luck
Rolling Girl is almost the same with this
Personality Complex is a bit like this too but it only focuses on the masks Miku is hiding and in the end she didnt commit suicide
Its been around 4 years I haven't listened to this it just got stuck in my head today and now I'm here, I still love this song ❤
This song made me cry, man. Hiding pain... It hurts
Im sobbing so hard knowing I had this on repeat in middle school, relating but never fully really getting it. That inner child in me is still hurting. I'm in a tremendouly better place now and no contact with the bio family that hurt me but ouch... 🥺🥲 Takes me back in all the wrong ways, I still love this song
Good that you get better.
I also love this song and have reasons for that.
This song is really wonderful...the music makes you wanna cry...and then you hear the lyrics and I'm like "Damn't! STOP BEING SO AWESOME THAT IT MAKES ME WANNA CRY!"