Thank you, I really needed this. Im 8 weeks out of a 5 year marriage to a toxic person I left. I have not heard from him since. I have been doing pretty well but today hit the wall. I miss him. I know tomorrow is a new day and God is so good. Thank you for reminding me my life is a long movie and there is good to come. I just want Jesus.
Dr. Cloud, you are a blessing to me for the past 2 years going through a VERY hard season with my parents. These principles are so life-giving! Also, I chuckled at the Rom-Com metaphor - very true. I'm stronger, more independent, healthier for my small children, and focused on the right things thanks to your teachings. Thank you for making those Scripture connections as well.
Dr Henry I'm so blessed because of you that God is using you in the season of our lives the people who God is using you to touch when I am amazed is that you are a believer and a follower of Jesus Christ that makes me even more excited. Because even with your schooling and God has given you rich insight and discernment. God bless you my friend
1. Are you connected? 2. Serenity Prayer - What do I have control of? Surrender the rest. 3. Do you need to set boundaries? 4. Are you needing to process some grief and pain ? Pain grows if not dealt with. 5. Are you Catastrophizing ("Stinking Thinking") Are you believing things that are not true? 6. Are you in good health? Are you taking care of your body? 7. Do you practice stress relief habits? 8. Do you need a break? A day of rest each week. 9. Are you putting hard times in a larger narrative? (Zoom out to see larger picture). Our lives are a long movie. Things do get better. You are just in a scene of a longer movie. ---- I must have missed one... I only have 9 and not 10. Can you find the one I missed? :) It might be seek professional help when you need it as he said in the beginning.
I have the same notes as you and ended with 9 tips. I came to the comments to see what I missed too. Now, I think the 10th point or maybe first point is to seek professional help followed by the remaining points given.
Dr. Henry Cloud 71.8K subscribers "Note if Doc Cloud ask a Question , Slow Down ask My Self The Question ,It Works " “Amotivational syndrome” learned a lot from this term when looking up 5*`s
Well, first I need to figure out if my distress is temporary. It's been going on for 7 months. I guess when compared with a lifetime, this could be temporary. It could get resolved, or it could get worse. Chances of it getting worse before it's resolved are high. When dealing with a Narcissistic takeover, breaking free can be highly dangerous. And if it doesn't end amicably, it could result in death. I suppose either way, that makes the situation temporary. It could be worse. They could hold me hostage and not kill me. That might last years. So, I don't have an answer to whether or not it's temporary. Now is it catastrophic? I dunno. I've never been abused to this crazy extent before, so I don't know what to compare it to. What is catastrophic abuse? Getting body parts sawed off? Yea. Well, it hasn't gotten physical yet. It's just emotional, verbal, spiritual, and financial at this point. He screams, rages, and threatens legal and financial punishments for asking him to leave my house. He accused me of trying to murder him and his wife because I locked the garage door to keep them out of my appliances. So that's just normal abuse right? Nothing catastrophic? It's just the day in and day out abuse that's wearing me down and keeping me traumatized. Boundaries: No contact. I avoid him at all costs. But he's trying to find ways to get back at me anyway. He got my pastor to do a 3 way call the other day, keeping his identity secret until he unleashed more threats on me over the phone. Now he's planning to sue me for $1 mil because he found my eviction application on my desk while he was rummaging around to find out what I've been up to. Catastrophic? Maybe it depends on the experience and skill of the target to fight off this kind of abuser. One thing I do know is that no one I know is willing to stand with me and demand him to leave. Either they see nothing wrong with what he's doing to me, or they are terrified to get near him. Maybe they just don't care enough. That leaves me isolated. Get support, you say. Be vulnerable. Let people know what's happening. Well, I asked for prayer at my Bible Study because I was beginning to plan my demise, since I feel defeated by this trauma. The pastor's wife suggested I was being too self-focused. That hurt. A man suggested we all need to go over to my house and demand them to leave. I liked that idea, but it's been a couple weeks since then, and nothing has been planned. Back to square one. I still feel alone.
Ok so self-care: breaks? Yes, a few hours a day between responsibilities I can sit down and text, watch videos, and read my Bible. I walk the dog twice a day, clean corrals, and lift hay for the horses every day. Oh wait is that self-care or animal care? But all the while I'm ruminating about the abuse, so this self-care is not really productive. Then sleep. When was the last time I slept 8 hours? It's been a couple years I'd say, since my Trazodone stopped being refilled because my financial aid was terminated during the lock downs. Since then, I lie in bed wishing I could sleep and only being plagued by more ruminating dark thoughts. All this to say I'm trying to follow your advice, but I really don't know how well I'm doing it, and the best I can do is try to reach out to the community for feedback and validation. I know I'm long-winded, but it helps to write out my thoughts and have a record of them, and this is my only means of doing that. If anyone is reading this, I hope you'll add your thoughts. Thanks.
How do you get professional therapy/help when you have no $$$ and insurance won’t pay for it???? Most of my friends are as stumped as I am in how to deal with my situation. I know I need professional guidance, but I have no way of accessing help… aside from being admitted to a psych ward, and since I’m not suicidal, they wouldn’t help me anyway.
Google search, result from Verywellmind. Amotivational syndrome is a psychiatric condition characterized by changes in a person’s personality, emotions, and cognitive function. A person with this condition will experience a lack of concentration and activeness, apathy, and poor memory.
Thank you, I really needed this.
Im 8 weeks out of a 5 year marriage to a toxic person I left. I have not heard from him since. I have been doing pretty well but today hit the wall. I miss him. I know tomorrow is a new day and God is so good. Thank you for reminding me my life is a long movie and there is good to come. I just want Jesus.
Dr. Cloud, you are a blessing to me for the past 2 years going through a VERY hard season with my parents. These principles are so life-giving! Also, I chuckled at the Rom-Com metaphor - very true. I'm stronger, more independent, healthier for my small children, and focused on the right things thanks to your teachings. Thank you for making those Scripture connections as well.
Dr Henry I'm so blessed because of you that God is using you in the season of our lives the people who God is using you to touch when I am amazed is that you are a believer and a follower of Jesus Christ that makes me even more excited. Because even with your schooling and God has given you rich insight and discernment. God bless you my friend
Thank you❤
Thank You So Much For This Great Message Dr Cloud 😍😍😍
This video really helps. Thank you for all you do.
Such wise advice! Thank you Dr. Cloud.
1. Are you connected? 2. Serenity Prayer - What do I have control of? Surrender the rest. 3. Do you need to set boundaries? 4. Are you needing to process some grief and pain ? Pain grows if not dealt with. 5. Are you Catastrophizing ("Stinking Thinking") Are you believing things that are not true? 6. Are you in good health? Are you taking care of your body? 7. Do you practice stress relief habits? 8. Do you need a break? A day of rest each week. 9. Are you putting hard times in a larger narrative? (Zoom out to see larger picture). Our lives are a long movie. Things do get better. You are just in a scene of a longer movie. ---- I must have missed one... I only have 9 and not 10. Can you find the one I missed? :) It might be seek professional help when you need it as he said in the beginning.
I have the same notes as you and ended with 9 tips. I came to the comments to see what I missed too. Now, I think the 10th point or maybe first point is to seek professional help followed by the remaining points given.
Excellent advice, thank you❣️
Dr. Henry Cloud
71.8K subscribers "Note if Doc Cloud ask a Question , Slow Down ask My Self The Question ,It Works " “Amotivational syndrome” learned a lot from this term when looking up 5*`s
Thank you for this I needed this today
Amazing you are always helping me
God bless you big huuug
I pray one day we will meet 😊
Well, first I need to figure out if my distress is temporary. It's been going on for 7 months. I guess when compared with a lifetime, this could be temporary. It could get resolved, or it could get worse. Chances of it getting worse before it's resolved are high. When dealing with a Narcissistic takeover, breaking free can be highly dangerous. And if it doesn't end amicably, it could result in death. I suppose either way, that makes the situation temporary. It could be worse. They could hold me hostage and not kill me. That might last years. So, I don't have an answer to whether or not it's temporary.
Now is it catastrophic? I dunno. I've never been abused to this crazy extent before, so I don't know what to compare it to. What is catastrophic abuse? Getting body parts sawed off? Yea. Well, it hasn't gotten physical yet. It's just emotional, verbal, spiritual, and financial at this point. He screams, rages, and threatens legal and financial punishments for asking him to leave my house. He accused me of trying to murder him and his wife because I locked the garage door to keep them out of my appliances. So that's just normal abuse right? Nothing catastrophic? It's just the day in and day out abuse that's wearing me down and keeping me traumatized.
Boundaries: No contact. I avoid him at all costs. But he's trying to find ways to get back at me anyway. He got my pastor to do a 3 way call the other day, keeping his identity secret until he unleashed more threats on me over the phone. Now he's planning to sue me for $1 mil because he found my eviction application on my desk while he was rummaging around to find out what I've been up to. Catastrophic? Maybe it depends on the experience and skill of the target to fight off this kind of abuser. One thing I do know is that no one I know is willing to stand with me and demand him to leave. Either they see nothing wrong with what he's doing to me, or they are terrified to get near him. Maybe they just don't care enough. That leaves me isolated. Get support, you say. Be vulnerable. Let people know what's happening. Well, I asked for prayer at my Bible Study because I was beginning to plan my demise, since I feel defeated by this trauma. The pastor's wife suggested I was being too self-focused. That hurt. A man suggested we all need to go over to my house and demand them to leave. I liked that idea, but it's been a couple weeks since then, and nothing has been planned. Back to square one. I still feel alone.
Ok so self-care: breaks? Yes, a few hours a day between responsibilities I can sit down and text, watch videos, and read my Bible. I walk the dog twice a day, clean corrals, and lift hay for the horses every day. Oh wait is that self-care or animal care? But all the while I'm ruminating about the abuse, so this self-care is not really productive. Then sleep. When was the last time I slept 8 hours? It's been a couple years I'd say, since my Trazodone stopped being refilled because my financial aid was terminated during the lock downs. Since then, I lie in bed wishing I could sleep and only being plagued by more ruminating dark thoughts.
All this to say I'm trying to follow your advice, but I really don't know how well I'm doing it, and the best I can do is try to reach out to the community for feedback and validation. I know I'm long-winded, but it helps to write out my thoughts and have a record of them, and this is my only means of doing that. If anyone is reading this, I hope you'll add your thoughts. Thanks.
How do you get professional therapy/help when you have no $$$ and insurance won’t pay for it????
Most of my friends are as stumped as I am in how to deal with my situation. I know I need professional guidance, but I have no way of accessing help… aside from being admitted to a psych ward, and since I’m not suicidal, they wouldn’t help me anyway.
Celebrate recovery
Yes, Celebrate Recovery. Look up where they meet near you and go.
11:07 - Please don't think anything inordinate fr this...
Listening to you is a Bit Life giving, sir.
“Amotivational syndrome”? Elaborate please for us in the “legal” states 🧐😊.
Google search, result from Verywellmind.
Amotivational syndrome is a psychiatric condition characterized by changes in a person’s personality, emotions, and cognitive function.
A person with this condition will experience a lack of concentration and activeness, apathy, and poor memory.
❤🔥🕊️🧎➡️