Very interesting...I’m a 1w9 and also an INTJ, the information and description of 1w9 is very true at least for myself. It’s like there’s a switch on me, either obsessive and passionate about certain things, or apathetic about it. At the end, most of the time I’m just detached with people and things, went into my indifference mode. Yet, I am generous and kind hearted, I’m not nice but I am kind. Definitely got better once I mature enough to understand compassion. I don’t tend to have ill will for others, most of the time I just walk away from people that I judged to be not up to par...or if I don’t trust them, and I don’t really trust many. Justice is important, if I see some scums, I will stare at them while probably will try leading them to dig their own hole to lay in it. I would usually warn people for their upcoming downfall if I catches it and I tend to catch a lot of those...but people don’t tend to listen, so I guess that’s where my apathy kicks in and let them slide, it’s not even sad to watch because I warned them. I guess staying indifferent makes me “feel” better and kept me sane. I think true caring means taking action and fixing the problems for others. If we cannot fix it, why even talk about it.
Dr. Tom LaHue I’ve also watched your subtype video for Enneagram 1, I think I used to be “Hermione Granger” prior to age 28, and now I’m “Mary Poppins”...fortunately, have not turned into the “evangelist” you’ve mentioned. However, I can really see that category of “evangelists” as an option even for myself. I could imagine myself being a hypocrite and doing bad bad things while carrying face of an angel or saint. Yet, I think what saves me from crossing that line was parenting, I was fortunate to get good support from my mom and I had good people in my life. So I was able to make good choices and stay in my integrity. So maybe environmental influence is important in the subtype of 1w9...or everyone, honestly. Yet, I do believe it is a choice (just like almost all things in life, it’s a choice) we need to make a choice how we perceive things and people, lots of time when we shift our perspective, we change our lives. The anger is real, I never understood why I am so angry all the time...now I do. What calms my anger a lot of time is to think about a person’s intention. If their intention is good even though the outcome is bad, just focus on their intention is good. And understand we’ve all tried. So it goes back to understanding and compassion, I guess. Great explanation, I’ve learnt a lot from your videos. Thank you!
Blue Sketch And I think 1w2 have some INFJs, so that’s why 1w9 INTJs seems to be able to understand “feelings” or emotions...maybe a little better than other enneagram types of INTJs...since Type 1 can lean on their w2 or w9. I think for us w9 if we grow more mature, we could better understand emotions that way. Yet, 2 and 9 are fundamentally different. And that’s probably also why I “think” I’m logical yet I “feel” complicated all the time lol 😆 It’s a constant battle between living the reality and imagining the ideal. There’s where my depression or melancholy kicks in, I see the ideal yet I also know we can never reach it. Add in the apathy, helps me to just accept the world better.
Jesus Lizarraga You mentioned you are an INFJ, that’s a feeling type but you don’t feel emotions? Maybe a mistyped? And yes, INTX tends to type in long comments when they see a reason to do so or if it’s worth their time. Otherwise, is a waste of time to type or read the comments even. I am definitely “all or nothing at all” type of person...very black and white with me, not much gray area. I found this approach is most comfortable and efficient for me, it keeps my life simple and my mind at ease. It may take longer for me to observe and decide if it’s a “yes or no”, but once I decided, there’s really no going back. I rarely change my mind once it’s set, people or situations the same. I hate to admit, but it is easy for me to cut people out of my life as long as I deemed they are a “no” for me. It really didn’t have much feelings once I made those decisions, I might felt struggle when I am trying to make the decision of cutting them off, but once I came into clarity and conclusion they are a “no”, they are out. Again, that “switch” aspect, if I decided to drop a person pretty much because I absolutely don’t trust them or they have hurt me prior. They are not just out, but gone, dissipate, like they no longer exist in my world. If I still feel for them, they are still in. It is when I have no feeling for them, they cease to exist. It’s pretty one sided decision if you ask me, may not be a good trait...but that’s just how I functions. There’s numerous times people come back to me and apologize, I just told them not necessary for apology because I don’t really care anymore. They felt that I hate them, the truth is I’m just indifference with them. I just no longer care. Indifference is pretty scary if you ask me. I have been treated with indifference by an INTP before and it hurts, so I know and wish I wasn’t that cold myself. Yet, that is how I function and I am not going to lie just to keep the other person happy. It’s like the least respect I can give that person is not to lie. It’s like - here’s the truth, take it or leave it, I just don’t care about you and there is no “us”, good luck and I do wish you all the best, I don’t hate you, I just don’t think about you. I had a person keep coming back for 10 years... I honestly think he thinks he is the spotlight and he thinks I’m definitely still thinking about him...don’t be so serious and treat yourself too serious. I can be selfish but I am not narcissistic, I never try to hurt others in order to gain for myself. I just tell things like it is and don’t really care about how you feel. I don’t like wishful thinking, I like honesty and truth.
Thank you. I'm a 1w2, and I appreciate having a "number" that I can blame things on! I am insanely critical of 3's and 4's in particular; am working to temper this, and to relax and accept that most people are as they wish to be. Dr. Tom is correct; people do not like to be corrected or "improved upon" by others unless they have a more subdued and easy-going ego.
You are doing great work! Thank you! It’s not easy being a Type One. I thought I was a type 9 for a while because I feel like I always have to “let things go” to get along with other people. But it’s just that I am a One, and there is so much that bothers me. I live on a farm and raise many types of animals, and this is a good outlet for my wanting to perfect... it’s of utmost importance to me that everything is done a certain way. I need to watch myself, because I sometimes relay the concept that the animals are to love and care for, and my 4 daughters are there for me to correct. It’s so hard to go through life feeling not good enough. I am very control oriented with my diet, I don’t ever drink, and have never smoked anything... unlike the rest of my family. They often tease me about this, but love me anyway. This was really interesting, thank you so much for your beautiful and kind presentation. You do great work!
Hearing you describe 1's is making me cry. I think it's from feeling understood. I saw other people commenting stuff like that on other types, and wanted to have a similar experience with whatever type I was. But the quizzes called me a 3w2 usually, and the 3 and 2 descriptions felt fairly accurate but not like this.
I bought Beatrice Chestnut's, "The 9 Types of Leadership" on your recommendation! I have been enjoying it & will buy her book in this video as well. Thank you! I'm a 1w2 and I am excited to have finally reached a point in my life where I can tell myself that it is not my responsibility to fix everything. 😂 lol
Ah. I get it better now. My roommate is a 1w2 and im a 4w5. 4's are trying to do things their ways and be different. Often times I am stuck in my room by myself. My roommate though has his ideals and continually pushes them on me, often his ideals for community (wing 2). These ideals then further lead me to feel shame as there is a sense of something missing, which further causes me to withdraw. We have had good communication though on our differences these last couple weeks and are learning to cope with each other's lifestyles, and to also stretch ourselves.
Embracing the best of your dominant wing and learning to recognize the less positive sides and adjusting/compensating is great. I hadn't heard embracing the other wing, but looking at positive side of what we might be inclined toward seems logical. Think I'm a 1w2 or possibly a 2w1. I expect it's the first with a strong wing. Seeing the best behaviors in action is great. Recognizing the annoying or less ideal aspects is good. The more we balance ourselves, the better we move toward the "ideal."
You're right - looking for what is ideal there is a whole lot of what is not ideal about and that causes anger and resentment. But on the other hand it is also a testimony to the pursuit of truth and divinity in type 1. Without that nail in the eye, the world is already perfect! For the longest I thought that I was 9w1, but now I'm pretty sure that I'm actually 1w9.
Im a 1w2 INTJ. But I am 70 so it is different. All i do is -Ask- Tell me about---and listen. All i do is say- Boy this is tough isn't it. All i do is say- Good luck let me know if you want ever need someone to listen. I am a good listener and you can trust me to not make suggestions unless you ask.
I’m a 9w1 and my 15 year old son is definitely a 1w9... this video was insightful in light of who he is and also who I am, and perhaps my influence I have/had on him. Thanks!
I’ve thought I was a 9w1, yet I find myself thinking maybe I’m a 1w9. I think my main energy is focused around trying to at least seem good, trying to be kind and nice and if I’m not perfectly nice I feel sad.
No, thank you for bringing people to a better understanding of themselves and others. Sometimes the problem to be solved for someone is to give them love. Maturity helps us out grow the tendency toward perfection, we become gentler on ourselves and others. ❤️
I think I am a 1w9 but my ideal is not so much on things, but to people's. Somehow I have an ideal way to behave, say and act. I also get upset when someone does not act appropriately. Like my inner critic is more to people than things. Maybe that's why my mbti is toward esfj 😊
My concern is with how things are and function. Society must follow the laws of nature. Or perish like Atlantis: "For many generations…they obeyed the laws and loved the divine to which they were akin…they reckoned that qualities of character were far more important than their present prosperity. So they bore the burden of their wealth and possessions lightly, and did not let their high standard of living intoxicate them or make them lose their self-control… But when the divine element in them became weakened…and their human traits became predominant, _they ceased to be able to carry their prosperity with moderation."_ /Plato. And the Gods punished the atlanteans with a single strike of fire that shook the world and sank Atlantis to the bottom of the sea.
This has been a very helpful video. I'm an INFP and a 1w2. Personally, I have had a very rigid box of how an INFP ought to act. I've been battling this feeling of being wrong of being unhealthy for being more strict and rigid than the INFP ideal I developed. Discovering my Enneagram has been both relieving and scary.
Through the majority of my 20s my motto was "do things right and do the right thing." Now in my 30s I've started telling myself "stop should-ing all over yourself!" is much more helpful to breakout of shame spirals
Interesting. So I felt like I was a 9 because I identified with so much of it. I felt like it was “right on”. But then I started doubting because I feel like I can be a little irritated and critical. I felt like that didn’t fit in the 9 box. And while I do like peace, I can also speak up and argue if I’m upset enough. I feel like the people I’m closest to I become frustrated with when they don’t do things the way I think they should. But in settings of other people I control myself more. I like things organized and tidy and my husband is messy and sloppy. My kids follow him. It can frustrate me but I’ve let it go more now than early in my marriage. My daughter doesn’t care about her looks as much, crazy hair etc. and I have a hard time understanding why she isn’t more self aware/ self conscious. But I’m not good at every area if my life. Like you mentioned, we can’t be in every area. Maybe that’s why I didn’t think I was a 1. I’m not a perfectionist at everything. Some things I’m laid back on that it’s “good enough” and I may even break rules that I feel don’t make sense or I feel aren’t a big deal.
Sir. Thank you for this video. I've thought of myself as a Type 6 for some years now. But of today, new findings suggest that I may actually have been a Type 1 all along. And that the oddity of my upbringing conditions, may have resulted in a misfire. I have much research to do, and things to scrutinize. Thank you for your contribution to what I hope will be a clearing up of a mistaken enneagram assumption. (The 6 one) So far, it's just conjecture, and I got some serious evidence to collect. But I got enough to filter out now to keep me busy. :)
Enjoying your videos, bringing together some of the same books I have studied. I wonder what you think of some of what Richard Rohr has done using the Enneagram. I found his reflection on the cultural differences of different nations interesting. (Even as I might challenge some of his reflection on Irish men ) As an emigrant to USA he helped me understand much. He has suggested that the USA used to promote the type one, but shifted to more of type three, as the image of success / leaders etc? It seems this would bring great change, as many youth experience the absent father, and so are influenced by the mass culture and nationalism, as a substitute father.
I think I will use my 2 wings at home... Can be very bossy/I am trying to help you be better at home but at the same time I don't want everybody to be up to my standards outside of it.
Feel like I’m listening to a psychic LOL this is all pretty new to me but I’m a fast study I have no clue what a one wing nine is but I speak English and I know what you’re saying LOL thanks for the insight and wisdom much love and respect
Well, I have a question. When you said developing the other wing may help, I got confused. What happens if we already developed two other wings? Would that makes us the type at its purest? I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I'm a 1w9 or a 1w2. But what if I'm a 1w2 and a 1w9, would that make me simply type 1 with no wings?
It isnt possible to be 2 types. First figure your 1 type out. Then look at your wing, and then focus om the other wing to become the best version of yourself
I am 164 tritype, I discovered it after I realize I was so so identified with 6w5 and 1w2 in almost literally anything, except core fears from 6. can someone help me to know what 164 tritype means?, Like I have 1 in my head or heart?. Sorry for my English, isn't my native language and that is also why is difficult for me to understand this topic (there Is no information about it in my language)
Thank you! So helpful. I've been back and forth between being a social 6 or a one-on-one 1w9. Any tips on how to see through the fear to it's driving force? What questions can I ask?
Hey Amber, social 6 and sx 1 both have a high focus on compliance but the social 6 is external oriented in finding the rules to comply to, as the sx 1 has the tendency to impose his/her rules coming from the inside. Hope this helps.
All MBTI types have their blind spots. Though for anyone to seek wisdom and adopt it, is a good path to be in. An 8 can be disciplined, just as a 1 is - but the kind of discipline that one's concerned themselves the most in tends to be internal growth. This doesn't mean that ones see themselves as perfect, but the path is towards it improvement. Every MBTI type has a sense of judgment, and some tend to judge based on superficial things like clothes and material possessions. I wouldn't be in alignment with people who judge others based on wealth, title, fame...etc... because I don't think any of those things have to do with a person's real value and quality. There can be a lot of agreement that everyone has intrinsic value, but if you bring a name up like Hitler, into the conversation, then people reveal that there is a standard. We all struggle with our own unique failures. I don't have to suppress lust or the desire to steal, because I don't have those desires. I have hurt my life plenty through things like procrastination, and a lack of planning. To desire to be independent, but not plan for a life that allows for independence, is a large blind spot.
Any mbti type can be any enneagram however There seems to be certain enneagrams that are heavily correlated with specific mbti types.. ive noticed that a lot of 1’s are intj, Infj, istj..
Ok... so... HELP ME! I'm an 8w7 and I have been dating a guy for a couple months - he is a 1w2. We argue semi often and the way we argue seems a bit unhealthy. He gets very defensive when I bring things up and will lash out with snotty comments which then triggers me. He has an obsession with being right, even if proven completely wrong he cannot bring himself to say it. At best, he has said "well, you are partially right." I will fight til the end of time WHEN i know that I'm right but have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. My question is... is there something we can each do to help? Are we fighting a losing battle? He will always apologize next morning and admit that he was this or that... but then it happens again. He also will refuse to admit that he gets defensive or that he makes petty digs which makes me so angry. I have told him i would have full respect if you just say you were being a snot... but dont do it and then tell me you didnt mean it that way. Own it. He has said he feels like I go around in circles with arguments.... I told him that he needs to take half the blame for that cause I'm not going around with myself! We had a whole argument once because i had a very stressful day with my daughter (meltdown) and I told him that. He asked how my day was and i immediately said that. Since we had a chat about somethings earlier in the day he was sure that I was making it up about having a bad night because of my daughter. He was sure that I was lying about what i was really upset with. I found the whole argument to be insane... I have always said exactly what I think/feel and to have someone tell me I'm lying about that seemed wildly frustrating to me. Anywho.. help me :P
Maybe your both can consider to be open to eachother instead of wanting to be right. It is not About Being right but what did you learned from eachother. And if not, then its also fine 😀
@@aliciaseptember actually type 1 and 8 are the worst combination ever. I'm 1w9 and I know for sure. I respect 8s but I can't imagine having them that close even if super healthy. The best types for 8 are 2 and 3.
@@zainabrustum5658 yes, I broke up with him soon after I posted that! He thought we were great together, I DID NOT. Shortest, most exhausting relationship I’ve ever been in. 🥵 thanks for your input!
Agree with the statement that 1’s & 8’s are the worst combo. I am 1 and my husband is an 8.. we have had a very frustrating marriage… I do not recommend. I feel like we made it work as long as we did because we are similar enough because of the gut triad but At the end of the day neither of us are who we want the other person to be
I was unsure for years what my enneagram was. Always caught between a 2 and 7, now after actually doing some research, I can’t believe I thought I was anything else other than a 1w2
I think the more introverted you are, the less likely we are to get in a position to be a person's conscience & the more likely we are to write you off. If you were important to us, we might check in on you occasionally to see if you've 'grown up' or whatever. If you've gotten worse with time, I would write you off, assuming that if we were meant to be friends, our paths wouldl cross again. I like either times of reflection and personal growth and I find, with time, that I will not have a positive influence on somebody. Usually people get gradually worse with time: a form of personal entropy. Even nations get to the place that they fall apart, when the collective soul aligns with a mean or average stupidity. Ie. If you put monkeys in a cage they don't generally develop social norms that improve the IQ of the collective. So the typical 1 like me, will "turn you over to yourself", leave, and only work in an effecient system if the components are in agreement. The older I get, the more valuable my time. A 1 soon discovers that not everybody wants to be compatible with us, so it is only logical that we would have to adapt, and this is only reasonable if we haven't put much time and pain into being who we are. So an impasse, is a place for a logical 'door slam' or at least a parting of the ways. The more practice thar you have had with your intuition and the more accurate that you perceive your ability to accurately predict compatibility, the quicker the potential parting of ways.
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18:48 is when 1w9 starts
Life saver
it was 18:38 brother and thank you so much 🙏
22:34 1w2
I had to upload this video again because it was not working correctly. Would you guys let me know if it’s working properly. Thank you.
Dr. Tom LaHue There are no problems playing the video!
Thanks for letting me know. Great!
It’s working. Thanks! what’s ur tritype and instinctual variants? I’m 471 4w3 7w8 1w9 sx/sp
Working! Very helpful for this type 1 here.
Very interesting...I’m a 1w9 and also an INTJ, the information and description of 1w9 is very true at least for myself. It’s like there’s a switch on me, either obsessive and passionate about certain things, or apathetic about it. At the end, most of the time I’m just detached with people and things, went into my indifference mode. Yet, I am generous and kind hearted, I’m not nice but I am kind. Definitely got better once I mature enough to understand compassion. I don’t tend to have ill will for others, most of the time I just walk away from people that I judged to be not up to par...or if I don’t trust them, and I don’t really trust many. Justice is important, if I see some scums, I will stare at them while probably will try leading them to dig their own hole to lay in it. I would usually warn people for their upcoming downfall if I catches it and I tend to catch a lot of those...but people don’t tend to listen, so I guess that’s where my apathy kicks in and let them slide, it’s not even sad to watch because I warned them. I guess staying indifferent makes me “feel” better and kept me sane. I think true caring means taking action and fixing the problems for others. If we cannot fix it, why even talk about it.
Thanks for the insight.
Dr. Tom LaHue I’ve also watched your subtype video for Enneagram 1, I think I used to be “Hermione Granger” prior to age 28, and now I’m “Mary Poppins”...fortunately, have not turned into the “evangelist” you’ve mentioned. However, I can really see that category of “evangelists” as an option even for myself. I could imagine myself being a hypocrite and doing bad bad things while carrying face of an angel or saint. Yet, I think what saves me from crossing that line was parenting, I was fortunate to get good support from my mom and I had good people in my life. So I was able to make good choices and stay in my integrity. So maybe environmental influence is important in the subtype of 1w9...or everyone, honestly. Yet, I do believe it is a choice (just like almost all things in life, it’s a choice) we need to make a choice how we perceive things and people, lots of time when we shift our perspective, we change our lives. The anger is real, I never understood why I am so angry all the time...now I do. What calms my anger a lot of time is to think about a person’s intention. If their intention is good even though the outcome is bad, just focus on their intention is good. And understand we’ve all tried. So it goes back to understanding and compassion, I guess. Great explanation, I’ve learnt a lot from your videos. Thank you!
everything about this, yes. guess it's because I'm also a 1w9 INTJ...
Blue Sketch And I think 1w2 have some INFJs, so that’s why 1w9 INTJs seems to be able to understand “feelings” or emotions...maybe a little better than other enneagram types of INTJs...since Type 1 can lean on their w2 or w9. I think for us w9 if we grow more mature, we could better understand emotions that way. Yet, 2 and 9 are fundamentally different. And that’s probably also why I “think” I’m logical yet I “feel” complicated all the time lol 😆 It’s a constant battle between living the reality and imagining the ideal. There’s where my depression or melancholy kicks in, I see the ideal yet I also know we can never reach it. Add in the apathy, helps me to just accept the world better.
Jesus Lizarraga You mentioned you are an INFJ, that’s a feeling type but you don’t feel emotions? Maybe a mistyped? And yes, INTX tends to type in long comments when they see a reason to do so or if it’s worth their time. Otherwise, is a waste of time to type or read the comments even. I am definitely “all or nothing at all” type of person...very black and white with me, not much gray area. I found this approach is most comfortable and efficient for me, it keeps my life simple and my mind at ease. It may take longer for me to observe and decide if it’s a “yes or no”, but once I decided, there’s really no going back. I rarely change my mind once it’s set, people or situations the same. I hate to admit, but it is easy for me to cut people out of my life as long as I deemed they are a “no” for me. It really didn’t have much feelings once I made those decisions, I might felt struggle when I am trying to make the decision of cutting them off, but once I came into clarity and conclusion they are a “no”, they are out. Again, that “switch” aspect, if I decided to drop a person pretty much because I absolutely don’t trust them or they have hurt me prior. They are not just out, but gone, dissipate, like they no longer exist in my world. If I still feel for them, they are still in. It is when I have no feeling for them, they cease to exist. It’s pretty one sided decision if you ask me, may not be a good trait...but that’s just how I functions. There’s numerous times people come back to me and apologize, I just told them not necessary for apology because I don’t really care anymore. They felt that I hate them, the truth is I’m just indifference with them. I just no longer care. Indifference is pretty scary if you ask me. I have been treated with indifference by an INTP before and it hurts, so I know and wish I wasn’t that cold myself. Yet, that is how I function and I am not going to lie just to keep the other person happy. It’s like the least respect I can give that person is not to lie. It’s like - here’s the truth, take it or leave it, I just don’t care about you and there is no “us”, good luck and I do wish you all the best, I don’t hate you, I just don’t think about you. I had a person keep coming back for 10 years... I honestly think he thinks he is the spotlight and he thinks I’m definitely still thinking about him...don’t be so serious and treat yourself too serious. I can be selfish but I am not narcissistic, I never try to hurt others in order to gain for myself. I just tell things like it is and don’t really care about how you feel. I don’t like wishful thinking, I like honesty and truth.
I’m a 1, but I truly believe I’ve softened with age. I’m not as rigid.
After listening to your videos, I have no doubt now that I'm a 1w2 and a SX subtype. Thank you
8w9 in relationship with 1w9. I finally have insights that have mystified me for 23 years. Thank you for the gift of grace, Dr. Lahue!
Thank you. I'm a 1w2, and I appreciate having a "number" that I can blame things on! I am insanely critical of 3's and 4's in particular; am working to temper this, and to relax and accept that most people are as they wish to be. Dr. Tom is correct; people do not like to be corrected or "improved upon" by others unless they have a more subdued and easy-going ego.
The ending brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for your always-honest and wonderful explanations.
You are doing great work! Thank you! It’s not easy being a Type One. I thought I was a type 9 for a while because I feel like I always have to “let things go” to get along with other people. But it’s just that I am a One, and there is so much that bothers me. I live on a farm and raise many types of animals, and this is a good outlet for my wanting to perfect... it’s of utmost importance to me that everything is done a certain way. I need to watch myself, because I sometimes relay the concept that the animals are to love and care for, and my 4 daughters are there for me to correct. It’s so hard to go through life feeling not good enough. I am very control oriented with my diet, I don’t ever drink, and have never smoked anything... unlike the rest of my family. They often tease me about this, but love me anyway. This was really interesting, thank you so much for your beautiful and kind presentation. You do great work!
Hearing you describe 1's is making me cry. I think it's from feeling understood. I saw other people commenting stuff like that on other types, and wanted to have a similar experience with whatever type I was. But the quizzes called me a 3w2 usually, and the 3 and 2 descriptions felt fairly accurate but not like this.
I bought Beatrice Chestnut's, "The 9 Types of Leadership" on your recommendation! I have been enjoying it & will buy her book in this video as well. Thank you! I'm a 1w2 and I am excited to have finally reached a point in my life where I can tell myself that it is not my responsibility to fix everything. 😂 lol
So glad to hear that. Awesome.
YES!!!!
Ah. I get it better now. My roommate is a 1w2 and im a 4w5. 4's are trying to do things their ways and be different. Often times I am stuck in my room by myself. My roommate though has his ideals and continually pushes them on me, often his ideals for community (wing 2). These ideals then further lead me to feel shame as there is a sense of something missing, which further causes me to withdraw. We have had good communication though on our differences these last couple weeks and are learning to cope with each other's lifestyles, and to also stretch ourselves.
Embracing the best of your dominant wing and learning to recognize the less positive sides and adjusting/compensating is great. I hadn't heard embracing the other wing, but looking at positive side of what we might be inclined toward seems logical. Think I'm a 1w2 or possibly a 2w1. I expect it's the first with a strong wing. Seeing the best behaviors in action is great. Recognizing the annoying or less ideal aspects is good. The more we balance ourselves, the better we move toward the "ideal."
You're right - looking for what is ideal there is a whole lot of what is not ideal about and that causes anger and resentment. But on the other hand it is also a testimony to the pursuit of truth and divinity in type 1. Without that nail in the eye, the world is already perfect!
For the longest I thought that I was 9w1, but now I'm pretty sure that I'm actually 1w9.
I'm thinking the same.
Im a 1w2 INTJ. But I am 70 so it is different. All i do is -Ask- Tell me about---and listen. All i do is
say- Boy this is tough isn't it. All i do is say- Good luck let me know if you want ever need someone to listen.
I am a good listener and you can trust me to not make suggestions unless you ask.
This helped me realize that I’m definitely a 1w2 😅
I’m a 9w1 and my 15 year old son is definitely a 1w9... this video was insightful in light of who he is and also who I am, and perhaps my influence I have/had on him. Thanks!
I’ve thought I was a 9w1, yet I find myself thinking maybe I’m a 1w9. I think my main energy is focused around trying to at least seem good, trying to be kind and nice and if I’m not perfectly nice I feel sad.
No, thank you for bringing people to a better understanding of themselves and others. Sometimes the problem to be solved for someone is to give them love. Maturity helps us out grow the tendency toward perfection, we become gentler on ourselves and others. ❤️
I think I am a 1w9 but my ideal is not so much on things, but to people's. Somehow I have an ideal way to behave, say and act. I also get upset when someone does not act appropriately. Like my inner critic is more to people than things. Maybe that's why my mbti is toward esfj 😊
loved this video, explanations are excelent, best ones i've seen, really helped me be certain that i'm a 1w9, thank you a lot!
My concern is with how things are and function. Society must follow the laws of nature. Or perish like Atlantis: "For many generations…they obeyed the laws and loved the divine to which they were akin…they reckoned that qualities of character were far more important than their present prosperity. So they bore the burden of their wealth and possessions lightly, and did not let their high standard of living intoxicate them or make them lose their self-control…
But when the divine element in them became weakened…and their human traits became predominant, _they ceased to be able to carry their prosperity with moderation."_ /Plato.
And the Gods punished the atlanteans with a single strike of fire that shook the world and sank Atlantis to the bottom of the sea.
I swear, if my 1 has a dominant 9 wing, this 4 would be SO HAPPY
Thank you so much for this video! Literally opened my eyes for so many things in my life that I struggle with. Hope you are awesome!
I see that pushing to the other wing helps overcome the deficiencies that come with the type.
I appreciate that you have taken the time to share your work. It has been very enlightening.
This has been a very helpful video. I'm an INFP and a 1w2. Personally, I have had a very rigid box of how an INFP ought to act. I've been battling this feeling of being wrong of being unhealthy for being more strict and rigid than the INFP ideal I developed. Discovering my Enneagram has been both relieving and scary.
Infp 1w9 here
Maybe isfp
Thank you so much for these videos Dr Tom. They are so helpful. Much gratitude to you.
Thank you for your grest service and noble spirit. May God bless you always
Through the majority of my 20s my motto was "do things right and do the right thing."
Now in my 30s I've started telling myself "stop should-ing all over yourself!" is much more helpful to breakout of shame spirals
I’m going to borrow that mantra! 😆
Interesting. So I felt like I was a 9 because I identified with so much of it. I felt like it was “right on”. But then I started doubting because I feel like I can be a little irritated and critical. I felt like that didn’t fit in the 9 box. And while I do like peace, I can also speak up and argue if I’m upset enough. I feel like the people I’m closest to I become frustrated with when they don’t do things the way I think they should. But in settings of other people I control myself more. I like things organized and tidy and my husband is messy and sloppy. My kids follow him. It can frustrate me but I’ve let it go more now than early in my marriage. My daughter doesn’t care about her looks as much, crazy hair etc. and I have a hard time understanding why she isn’t more self aware/ self conscious. But I’m not good at every area if my life. Like you mentioned, we can’t be in every area. Maybe that’s why I didn’t think I was a 1. I’m not a perfectionist at everything. Some things I’m laid back on that it’s “good enough” and I may even break rules that I feel don’t make sense or I feel aren’t a big deal.
More type 5 vids if you can. Need to feed the knowledge dump truck 🤣
More is coming, I promise. Glad you found my channel.
I second this.
INTJ 1w9
Making me look like INTP
😐
I'm a 1w9 and it's frustrating to be this way!!!
I can definitely see now that I am a 1w9
Sir. Thank you for this video. I've thought of myself as a Type 6 for some years now. But of today, new findings suggest that I may actually have been a Type 1 all along. And that the oddity of my upbringing conditions, may have resulted in a misfire. I have much research to do, and things to scrutinize. Thank you for your contribution to what I hope will be a clearing up of a mistaken enneagram assumption. (The 6 one) So far, it's just conjecture, and I got some serious evidence to collect. But I got enough to filter out now to keep me busy. :)
Enjoying your videos, bringing together some of the same books I have studied.
I wonder what you think of some of what Richard Rohr has done using the Enneagram. I found his reflection on the cultural differences of different nations interesting. (Even as I might challenge some of his reflection on Irish men ) As an emigrant to USA he helped me understand much. He has suggested that the USA used to promote the type one, but shifted to more of type three, as the image of success / leaders etc? It seems this would bring great change, as many youth experience the absent father, and so are influenced by the mass culture and nationalism, as a substitute father.
True.
I think I will use my 2 wings at home... Can be very bossy/I am trying to help you be better at home but at the same time I don't want everybody to be up to my standards outside of it.
Feel like I’m listening to a psychic LOL this is all pretty new to me but I’m a fast study I have no clue what a one wing nine is but I speak English and I know what you’re saying LOL thanks for the insight and wisdom much love and respect
I gave up on the world already. I am only interested in changing myself.
The struggle is real... :-)
I can absolutely see myself as both the 1w9 and the 1w2, if that's the case, would that be a more balanced outlook?
Yup definitely an INTJ 1w9 lol. Great video!
I was laughing because all I can think about as you talk is how I want to recommend a hand steamer for your curtains:-) #1
Haha! I always judge this room he is in!! I really do not like those curtains. 😂
Dr Tom thank you very much...
Well, I have a question. When you said developing the other wing may help, I got confused. What happens if we already developed two other wings? Would that makes us the type at its purest? I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I'm a 1w9 or a 1w2. But what if I'm a 1w2 and a 1w9, would that make me simply type 1 with no wings?
I've got the same problem.
It isnt possible to be 2 types. First figure your 1 type out. Then look at your wing, and then focus om the other wing to become the best version of yourself
@@zezentje bruh you can absolutely have balanced wings
I am 164 tritype, I discovered it after I realize I was so so identified with 6w5 and 1w2 in almost literally anything, except core fears from 6.
can someone help me to know what 164 tritype means?, Like I have 1 in my head or heart?.
Sorry for my English, isn't my native language and that is also why is difficult for me to understand this topic (there Is no information about it in my language)
This 4 is ONBOARD with rule-breaking, self-indulgent behavior
Thank you! So helpful. I've been back and forth between being a social 6 or a one-on-one 1w9. Any tips on how to see through the fear to it's driving force? What questions can I ask?
Hey Amber, social 6 and sx 1 both have a high focus on compliance but the social 6 is external oriented in finding the rules to comply to, as the sx 1 has the tendency to impose his/her rules coming from the inside. Hope this helps.
Not every person is a problem to be solved... BOOM! Guilty as charged. 😔
Very helpful! Thanks.
General overview: 0:00
I am a 1w2 and my colleague is a 1w9
9:05 is so true
👍
Today I did enneagram test gave me 1 with 2 and 4 as equal 90% and trying to understand what does that mean couldn't find it YET
You are probably desintegrating into 4 and you are 1w2
All MBTI types have their blind spots. Though for anyone to seek wisdom and adopt it, is a good path to be in. An 8 can be disciplined, just as a 1 is - but the kind of discipline that one's concerned themselves the most in tends to be internal growth. This doesn't mean that ones see themselves as perfect, but the path is towards it improvement. Every MBTI type has a sense of judgment, and some tend to judge based on superficial things like clothes and material possessions. I wouldn't be in alignment with people who judge others based on wealth, title, fame...etc... because I don't think any of those things have to do with a person's real value and quality. There can be a lot of agreement that everyone has intrinsic value, but if you bring a name up like Hitler, into the conversation, then people reveal that there is a standard. We all struggle with our own unique failures. I don't have to suppress lust or the desire to steal, because I don't have those desires. I have hurt my life plenty through things like procrastination, and a lack of planning. To desire to be independent, but not plan for a life that allows for independence, is a large blind spot.
900th like
Hi Dr. Tom.
What if I got Type 1 - 11
Type 2 - 10.7
Type 9 - 10.7 ?? both resonates to me..
100% accurate
I'm an INTP and I'm really confused if I'm a 5w6 or a 1w9. Can you make a video of the difference between these two?
Thank you! I’ve been trying to watch this!
Sorry for the delay.
Thank you for another great video! Excellent content👍
Thanks for your kind words.
1s look like 3s for image, definitely.
I’m a 1w9 and an ISFJ (though I used to register as an ISTJ)
If you’re a 1, what’s your Myers Briggs? I want to see if there’s a pattern
Any mbti type can be any enneagram however There seems to be certain enneagrams that are heavily correlated with specific mbti types.. ive noticed that a lot of 1’s are intj, Infj, istj..
Ok... so... HELP ME! I'm an 8w7 and I have been dating a guy for a couple months - he is a 1w2. We argue semi often and the way we argue seems a bit unhealthy. He gets very defensive when I bring things up and will lash out with snotty comments which then triggers me. He has an obsession with being right, even if proven completely wrong he cannot bring himself to say it. At best, he has said "well, you are partially right." I will fight til the end of time WHEN i know that I'm right but have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. My question is... is there something we can each do to help? Are we fighting a losing battle? He will always apologize next morning and admit that he was this or that... but then it happens again. He also will refuse to admit that he gets defensive or that he makes petty digs which makes me so angry. I have told him i would have full respect if you just say you were being a snot... but dont do it and then tell me you didnt mean it that way. Own it.
He has said he feels like I go around in circles with arguments.... I told him that he needs to take half the blame for that cause I'm not going around with myself! We had a whole argument once because i had a very stressful day with my daughter (meltdown) and I told him that. He asked how my day was and i immediately said that. Since we had a chat about somethings earlier in the day he was sure that I was making it up about having a bad night because of my daughter. He was sure that I was lying about what i was really upset with. I found the whole argument to be insane... I have always said exactly what I think/feel and to have someone tell me I'm lying about that seemed wildly frustrating to me. Anywho.. help me :P
Maybe your both can consider to be open to eachother instead of wanting to be right. It is not About Being right but what did you learned from eachother. And if not, then its also fine 😀
@@zezentje I broke up with him! Good person, just not good together. ☺️
@@aliciaseptember actually type 1 and 8 are the worst combination ever. I'm 1w9 and I know for sure. I respect 8s but I can't imagine having them that close even if super healthy.
The best types for 8 are 2 and 3.
@@zainabrustum5658 yes, I broke up with him soon after I posted that! He thought we were great together, I DID NOT. Shortest, most exhausting relationship I’ve ever been in. 🥵 thanks for your input!
Agree with the statement that 1’s & 8’s are the worst combo. I am 1 and my husband is an 8.. we have had a very frustrating marriage… I do not recommend.
I feel like we made it work as long as we did because we are similar enough because of the gut triad but At the end of the day neither of us are who we want the other person to be
I was unsure for years what my enneagram was. Always caught between a 2 and 7, now after actually doing some research, I can’t believe I thought I was anything else other than a 1w2
11:10
1w9 and infj. Fits that?
Nice
I think the more introverted you are, the less likely we are to get in a position to be a person's conscience & the more likely we are to write you off. If you were important to us, we might check in on you occasionally to see if you've 'grown up' or whatever. If you've gotten worse with time, I would write you off, assuming that if we were meant to be friends, our paths wouldl cross again. I like either times of reflection and personal growth and I find, with time, that I will not have a positive influence on somebody. Usually people get gradually worse with time: a form of personal entropy. Even nations get to the place that they fall apart, when the collective soul aligns with a mean or average stupidity. Ie. If you put monkeys in a cage they don't generally develop social norms that improve the IQ of the collective. So the typical 1 like me, will "turn you over to yourself", leave, and only work in an effecient system if the components are in agreement. The older I get, the more valuable my time. A 1 soon discovers that not everybody wants to be compatible with us, so it is only logical that we would have to adapt, and this is only reasonable if we haven't put much time and pain into being who we are. So an impasse, is a place for a logical 'door slam' or at least a parting of the ways. The more practice thar you have had with your intuition and the more accurate that you perceive your ability to accurately predict compatibility, the quicker the potential parting of ways.
Ideal is not elite. Ideally people breathe, does that make you an elitist if you breathe? 🧘
I know a lot of 1w2s might not like this but a perfect example of a 1w2 is the Change my Mind guy, Steven Crowder. Lol
Tom, I am a 7 and yout um um um you know auhh, auh,,,, you know. ....is distracting.