One good thing about "More" is that it made me finally go see a specialist to adjust my antidepressants. If I'm as stressed out and miserable as this narrator even after fixing my life and getting therapy, then clearly these meds aren't helping at all. I was right, it turns out I was on a pediatric dose for 2 years
This comment is WILDDDDDD LOL i'm glad 4 u tho... Last year I realized the antidepressants I had been taking were not extended release and that ... Explained a lot
I thought the same thing 😂 I always like seeing screenshots when the women get a lot of game, the men get nothing, and then the men want to return to closed relationships 😂
The therapist one made my jaw drop honestly ... imagine saying something so awful to ur patient and then slapping some self-congratulatory subtitle on ur memoir. That had me staring into an imaginary camera for like a minute
Poly person here. Yes, everyone is absolutely supposed to consent and know what's what with everyone. This is an insane portrayal of polyamory but, sadly nothing new. I kinda wish poly people has their own rom-coms that show genuine love and not the same old tropes. Love your videos also, that churro line was wild😐
If you want a poly show, I recommend The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself. @Chill Polyamory talks about it in a short for a brief synopsis if you are curious.
The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself has one of the best depictions of a naturally occurring throuple I've ever seen. And there's no cheating or jealousy or anything like that. Those three just meet and fall in love with each other and are okay with that. Netflix has cancelled it if course but I'd still give the first season a chance anyway.
@angiewinchester3384 Is it the one that starts off titled Half-Bad? Also, is the final episode a cliffhanger or at least half resolved to help it get a second season (that never happened)?
I was hearing the "why was *i* assaulted out of all the boys" in my head and thinking of my friends who have been assaulted and what you could possibly say to someone asking this. Maybe "there's no reason, you were just unlucky" or "you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, its not your fault" but hearing her say "maybe its because of your looks" made me reel and i'm still fucking reeling. How could you possibly say something like that and never even think that was wrong??? That has the sane energy as telling a girl she got assaulted cause her dress was too short and cause she dressed sexy. Whatever answer there is when someone asks that, what she said IS NOT IT.
When someone is asking that, the most appropriate response is to reflect back to them “it sounds you’re trying to make sense of why you were targeted” and maybe go into exploring how trying to find a reason YOU were picked often parallels with trying to find blame in yourself. It is a symptom of guilt and shame (which is something that needs to be worked through bc it is never a survivor’s fault) but it’s also usually someone seeking out “you’re not alone.” The sad fact is, he probably wasn’t the only one being abused. Nothing he did drew the predator except that he was vulnerable as an indigenous child in a residential school. The predator likely took that position because it made it easier for him to abuse the boys. A good recommendation from a therapist might be to OFFER to help them find a support group for indigenous folk who were abused in residential schools/foster care. It definitely sounds from this description that he was seeking community and the first place to start would be building a community with other survivors like himself.
@@Stonedandbookish Glad I'm not alone in this. I actually needed to watch the Haunting Adeline rant twice just to fully process the levels of WTF reached by that book.
Good to know that Good Morning Monster’s monster is actually the main character/the therapist… that concept is ethically dubious already but it’s sickening that she’s not only hurting her patients, but she’s exploiting the harm she’s done and positioning it like it’s a silly goofy time instead of a compounded trauma. Absolutely sick, thank you for letting me know I can keep it off my TBR list forever!!
I’m sorry, that therapist said WHAT?! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT IS AN OKAY THING TO SAY TO A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT?! WHAT THE F U C K IS WRONG WITH YOU?! As someone who is going into clinical psychology and wants to be a clinical psychologist, someone needs to report this therapist to the board for review, not only for her comments to the Native American patient, but also all the other stuff she said as well. Because if this is the stuff she’s comfortable having people know about her interactions with her patients, then I worry about what stuff isn’t being shared. Like seriously, what would possess her to make her think that saying any of that stuff is okay??
@ Fr, ngl, I am scared for her other patients, cause what do you mean you told someone that had been sexually assaulted that it might have been because of their looks and also had a really transphobic conversation??😭😭😭
My thoughts exactly. This woman should have her license taken away, no way should she be allowed to “help” people when she clearly has some messed up thoughts and biases. It absolutely sounds like she’ll do more harm than good. Nope nope nope.
@@withcindyExactly I am guessing she twisted some parts of it too ...even after this much edits this is what we are left with then it's very scary what other patients may have faced.
i feel the need to confess that when cindy’s review of haunting adeline came out, i was listening to it on the way home from work, and forgot to disconnect bluetooth. i tried to continue the video while i was settling into my room, only to realize that it was still playing in the car. to my horror, my dad had just pulled up in time to hear cindy recapping the weird cat and mouse perverted non con dynamic between zade and adeline. i have not recovered 😭😭
Let’s play a fun game titled “Count the layers of terrible - therapy edition !” Yay! I start with 1. - telling a SA victim that they were possibly abused because of themselves (by being conventionally attractive in the therapist’s eyes), 2. - sharing the patient’s confidential information without providing proof of permission granted to share, 3. - thinking this was something a professional should share as an opinion not only with the patient but to anyone reading the book, 4. - all the people along the publishing chain that read this and thought “yeah, this is good”. I’m sure there’s more, but I’m just overwhelmed with that as a start.
As someone who is in an open marriage/is poly, yes, everyone is supposed to know and consent. If I'm approached by anyone, I let them know the overall situation immediately so they can choose whether they feel comfortable with that dynamic. Some people aren't cool with it and it would be fucked up to involve someone who isn’t okay with it.
That’s awesome. My first time hooking up was with a guy who I only found out was ENGAGED afterwards when he added me on Facebook. For a long time I told myself it was fine because they were probably open and he never told me he WASN’T engaged. It’s not like he was someone I saw a future with, but I probably would have politely declined if I knew he was in a relationship at the time
@@tinymxnticoreI don't buy that (on his part). He may have justified it by saying, "Well, I never lied to you!" but he absolutely did. I'm sorry you experienced that.
@@silenceinspace. In all fairness I never confronted him so I don’t know what he’d have said, and to this day I don’t really know if he had some kind of hall pass, or just wanted to cheat. I ran into him a year later when he was with his fiancee and while he didn’t outright ignore me, he was clearly uncomfortable about what I might say. He was a Pastor too lmao
21:34 - Oh that phrasing by the therapist made me cringe so hard. I believe that there can be a place for people to interrogate their own cultural traditions and how they stand up against their own contemporary morality models (I've certainly done this with my own ethnic and cultural practices especially ones regarding animal slaughter, body modification, and dealing with the interaction between my faith and my queerness), but that place is NOT a *white therapist* saying _"well did you ever think not all Native traditions are good like not all white traditions are good"_ which not only flattens cultures under those umbrellas but it egregiously erases the fact that *white Europeans have treated ALL expressions of Indigenous practice and identity as inherently "Bad" for centuries and used that as the basis to justify both physical and cultural genocide.* People like her are the reason I very purposefully do not see white gentile therapists anymore. When you come from a marginalized ethnic group, so much of seeking therapy is going to involve dealing with traumas (both personal and generational) that I've found that therapists who are wholly disconnected from those sorts of experiences just cannot fully grasp. And even when they try their best, they can end up really harming their patients because of this disconnect.
Shocked to find out that "Good Morning, Monster" has 4.45 stars on Goodreads. Then again, the majority of those four to five stars are from other white women as well so I am not surprised 🤷🏾
@@withcindy nah Luigi is respectful of women (as far as we know about the information given by his classmates and friends). Luigi would definitely pew pew Zade.
The way I audibly went "Oh!" at 8:37 It was already bad that she was acting like using a group of people as a spicy online alter ego/costume was fine because the guys on the site were sleazy already, but that... I My brain is broken wtf
Like I'm very ace but if I had a wife I would love her so much. I would be like "Look at my amazing wife." Why are these dudes like this? I don't get it!
As a therapist I tend to think people are hard on therapists. But, I was struck by Cindy's review of Good Morning, Monster. Whenever an abuse survivor asks "Why Me?" as they usually do, I make it very clear that the reason why is all about the abuser and not about the client. We also CANNOT read the mind of the abuser. People get really caught up on "why" and you need to ask why the why of it is so important. Often, it's because we think if we can learn why we can "fix" the reason so abuse never happens to us again. Of course, this isn't reality, but it gives people a sense of power or control. So, the therapist can explore this while you also explore "why." But, you always put the responsibility fully on the abuser. Saying "We will never know, but maybe it had something to do with the way you looked because pedophiles have physical preferences, which of course means it actually has nothing to do with you, and is sick. What would it mean for you if that were the reason?" Is a much different response then "Maybe it's because of the way you looked." while she'd also commented on his looks as looking "so native." I've had people say "Well, it was my fault because I actually flirted with him." And in that situation I say: "Absolutely not! You were a child that had a crush and the appropriate non-abuser response was to say 'You have a crush on me; that's sweet but of course nothing can happen.'" I also make clear children cannot consent to sex. Even if they think they know what it is, they don't.
The therapist for good morning monster is so stupid. When the reason for why the coach SAed him, she should have told him there's no point in justifying the actions of an abuser because there is no excuse for it, not basically blame him for it.
genuinely with good morning monster i think if i saw my therapists name on a book and i was in it that would be a new trust issue for me to have all my personal details there (even if i agreed to the info being used id expect some anonymity with names which it sounds like theres very little) it sounds like she should of loved the one lady who wrote lady tansy circle of women and used that as an example for her structuring
I hadn't heard of Good Morning, Mosnter, but after this I really don't want to read it ever. Like if people want stories about covering trauma/difficulties in life, they should just stick to Chicken Noodle for the Soul bc for the most part it was stories sent in by people instead someone else deciding to use others' stories while in their most vulnerable and needing help. I honestly do side eye books that have therapists covering their patients stories bc it always seems sketchy bc of the money involved.
"Good Morning, Monster" sure has a fitting title 😭. I've heard the saying that the worst bullies become nurses, but in my expierience so many unhinged people go into psychology. I don't know how it is in the US, but in Poland a psychologist cannot diagnose you (unless it's for specific disorders, but then they have to be trained in that specifically). They can make suggestions, however from my expierience with people that were studying psychology (if my therapist tried to diagnose me, I would be OUT), they made assumptions and failed to see the crossover between symptoms. I recently explained my dissociations to a girl who's graduating this year and was told it sounds like a panic attack/like derealisation, not dissociation (mine are actually closer to depersonalisation, not to mention that both are in fact under the dissociation umbrella... and dissociation is in fact a type of a panic attack 🤦♀️). Sorry for my rant, but therapists can be so unhinged, it's hard to find one that ACTUALLY will help you 😭.
21:26 This reminds me that this year in my country, one of the most prestigious and important literature prizes went to a book (Houris) for which its author (Kamel Daoud) basically stole the story inside his dead wife's patient files. The person who is the subject of the book is still alive and never ever told anyone other than her now dead therapist, she never consented for her story to be published or told in any way. But the author is friend with the president of the republic, and this literature prize is often given to a friend of one of the judges so... it still a very important prize so in the end the author will get money out of it thanks to the number of sales rising as a result. I hope the victim's lawyer will destroy that guy. And on top of this, the biography is distorted just enough in order to bash a religion. It can never be just one problem, isn't it?
Someone needs to examine the phenomena of white Bustle/Cosmo/Byrdie/Teen Vogue writers-slash-girly pop bookish lifestyle podcasters becoming mediocre nonfic authors because why did I get burned multiple times by these kinds of authors this year??? It's not nepotism per se, but it's...something
On the haunting Adeline thing, it’s not even CNC! Adeline fans like to use that term, but there’s no prior consent which is, you know, the entire basis for CONSENSUAL-Non-Consent. It may develop into that, but it starts out as SA.
I feel like the "consensual" part comes more from the reader than the characters. Somewhat like the "i consent, i consent, i don't" meme, but one of the characters is the one not consenting while the "higher power" (reader/autor) does? These books are closer to self-fulfillment fuel more than anything, after all. ETA: Not really saying they're less bad, but that I can see people rationalizing them in that way.
@ that’s possible, and makes sense honestly. I just wish the fans would just own up to what it is: SA fantasies. Don’t try to paint it as CNC, the kink community already gets judged harshly as is.
A recently married polyam person here, we had discussions pre us marrying that if we ever met someone we felt very serious about we wouldnt care about a like seperate ceremony with them as long as everyone in consenting and knows who cares. Thats the key to it. We’ve been open since we met though and having another long term relationship where we tried to open it up at the very end of us together i do feel like it only works truly if you START the relationship with expectations in mind. But also by this point if years down the line i never meet anyone else I wouldn’t protest closing our relationship so its give and take and communication
@@withcindy maybe! I think it would be difficult depending on the reasons why someone asks or suggests it, if your drifting apart and ask to open it thats not great but if you both cant find everything from current situation and consent it could! Love is fluid life changes
With shit like Bad Therapy coming out earlier this year, I'm just shaking my head at an actual bad therapist saying with her full chest that shes proud of her microaggressions, and another book saying trauma is fake.
My dad read “The Courage to Be Disliked” and he lived by it. I didn’t know it was this bad though. He definitely parented me with the whole “you can control your feelings” and “you’re letting your bully win by being sad.” It honestly messed me up for a while. (I also have chronic migraines so the whole “tough it out thing” really didn’t help me.) Luckily, he’s learned and no longer puts his ideologies that work for himself onto me. He’s apologized for it multiple times. I’ve also grown older and I’ve realized that I can accept or reject certain things my parents teach me.
8:26 the scream i scrumpt . you can tell this is the exact type of person who saw black latina and asian women explain the hell of racial fetishization we go through and thought it was all in our heads 😭 'the twin sins' like this shit doesn't have actual consequences for latina women who fetishists seek out and harass across dating platforms
As a polyamorous white cis woman with some noncon kinks, I spent most of this video yelling "YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD" at the authors, as if they could hear me
“The Courage to be Disliked” … so essentially the book is “The Key to Success is to Not Be Depressed [and probably also be priviledged]”. Is that what I’m getting?
The one with the therapist is the worst. When he said her comment triggered him, I said me too and skipped forward. Therapy should be a safe place for you to work through trauma and she went and victim-blamed him? I hope the part I didn't listen to involved him leaving her practice for a better therapist.
He did seek other native spiritual healing as a way to compensate for her white therapy but I'm still offended on his behalf bc she included his story even tho he passed away
As someone who works in mental health, “Good Morning Monster,” sounds horrific. I couldn’t imagine telling my clients personal details to the entire world in the form of a book. I wonder how much the power dynamic of provider vs patient influenced these poor people’s decision to consent to their stories being told. I would be HORRIFIED if my therapy sessions were turned into a book.
That book by the therapist really shows why we need more diverse therapists who can share our experiences. Also do we really need books by therapists when there are so many people with mental health issues who have written about their own experiences from their own point of view. One such book I really liked was (Don’t) call me crazy.
The NYTimes just did a profile on me today. The profile is titled, "This Book Tour Comes with a Side of Fried Rice" and it's about my memoir, "Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant." I hope you'll still consider reviewing my book. Keep up the great work!
Honestly I'm so ready for that dedicated video about More, since it sounds like the fun kind of bad book. I just know that I will be laughing my ass of throughout that 40 minute video LMFAO
THANK YOU for your thoughts on Magical Overthinking!! I completely agree, it was sooo unfocused and just a collection of random thoughts. Such a clear money grab. Would love to see a whole video on it.
“More” Yeah, this sounds like a dysfunctional relationship pretending to be a “Open Relationship.” Everything would be better if they divorced. Feels like the husband basically pushed author into opening the relationship to cheat, and poor Op is trying to navigate all of this. Oh, and weight shame. Perfect. /sarcasm
Lol, to be fair, I don't think the straights have ever been okay 😂Your recent videos have been such a great joy for this season. Happy holidays to you Cindy!
18:10 listening to your rant about this sequel that I don’t intend to read of a book I also have 0 intention to pick up, is weirdly empowering We all have so much more to survive for than some guy calling us a little mouse!
@@withcindybest birthday gift ever thank you 😭❤️❤️ ur literally my favorite youtuber, i continue to exist on this earth out of spite + to watch ur videos
Thanks for the reviews, Cindy! I love your content. The HIPAA laws extend to people for 50 years after death. Sharing stories about your patient can be illegal if the details of the story identifies a patient and is not told for certain legally permissable reasons, such as patient care or insurance reasons. I'm not a lawyer, but as a medical records clerk for 13 years, I find it unethical. As a patient, I find it outrageous. The patient in question's family should look into this.
nah cuz that therapist straight up sucks. been in therapy for over a decade now, have had some bad therapists and one really good one. the good one i've stuck with would never, ever say that sort of shit. we've talked at length about therapy in general and "appropriate" ways to talk to and about people as it helps me get a grasp on a meta level of what we're going for as a therapist-client relationship, and i think the way that author talks about her clients would give my therapist a heart attack.
edit: "i'm not here to yuck anyone's yum" I am tho! i will! that's me! wow "43 seconds ago" click, im THAT girl already commenting just to say your hair looks so good! i'll edit this later with an actual thought on the video lmao
I was already thinking it was sus for a therapist to profit off of writing about her most "interesting" patients (whatever the hell that means) but the fact she said such horrendous shit to some of them and thought it was a great idea to immortalize it in writing is WILD to me. she really thought she was being so inspiring ig oh as latina the fake latina persona took me OUT wtf do you MEANNNN by that churros quote girl
now this is incredibly toxic of me and I do love hearing you talk about books you like, but it just soothes my hater spirit hearing the stuff you dislike too 😭
I had good morning monster on my tbr, thank you for letting me know. As a CSW (sometimes my job involves therapy) who also has experienced intense trauma, it really drives me nuts when therapists call us “heroes.” I got into this field because I was dealing with so many therapists who didn’t experience what I had and were not helping me feel better bc they were saying things that were actually offensive. Stop telling me I’m strong. I didn’t need to be strong. I was a toddler. I needed to be protected.
HI CINDY I LIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD SO ITS REALLY RARE FOR ME TO BE EARLY IN ONE OF YOUR VIDS!! but I just wanna thank you for getting me through my finals this year ❤️❤️❤️ and I really appreciate having your videos to turn to when the going gets tough. you're genuinely the only one keeping me on this app 😭
As an Indigenous (not Indigenous to America though) CSA survivor, I am SO concerned about that therapist's book. Because even if I gave my consent to be in the book, I doubt I'd consent after I READ how she wrote it. Also I can write my own damn book! Lots of people have told me to write my story someday and I'm definitely considering it. Any therapist that thinks that they could write their client's story, IN A NOVEL and not an academic paper - presumably for profit no less - is a big red flag. I feel so sorry for these people because they can't fully consent when presented with the power imbalance of their therapist asking them this.
God, I’m getting a therapist, and my worst nightmare is a therapist like Good Morning, Monster. I’m a white woman but like no. Ew. I’ve been SA’d and undergone extreme physical parental abuse and if the therapist in the book did that to me, oh my gosh.
One good thing about "More" is that it made me finally go see a specialist to adjust my antidepressants.
If I'm as stressed out and miserable as this narrator even after fixing my life and getting therapy, then clearly these meds aren't helping at all. I was right, it turns out I was on a pediatric dose for 2 years
This comment is WILDDDDDD LOL
i'm glad 4 u tho... Last year I realized the antidepressants I had been taking were not extended release and that ... Explained a lot
When u do ur inner child work, u gotta make sure u have inner child meds 😌😌
that first book sounds like all those reddit threads about women being pressured into an open relationship lmao
Yes but in excruciating detail
is just missing the part in which the husband comes back to update saying his wife is getting more dates and now she wants a divorce
This should have been a reddit thread
I thought the same thing 😂 I always like seeing screenshots when the women get a lot of game, the men get nothing, and then the men want to return to closed relationships 😂
Yes! So many AITAH posts like this!
someone recommended haunting adeline to me and i'll never forgive them
Who recommended it to you ......
^ Cindy subtly hints that she is an international assassin.
I picked it up at the library because I liked the cover. That is the only good thing about it
@@withcindy i think someone who wants to see me suffer loll
@@itssunday1990 i feel so supported ✨
that therapist one is soooo crazy. how are you gonna tell a victim of childhood SA that maybe they were assaulted bc they were attractive 😩😩
RIGHT?? IM SO AGHAST
My jaw droppeddddd
literally??? the noise I made out loud when she said that. i just.... HOW
i thought i misheard that part but nO 😭
Yeahh I was like bitch you didn't 😣
The therapist one made my jaw drop honestly ... imagine saying something so awful to ur patient and then slapping some self-congratulatory subtitle on ur memoir. That had me staring into an imaginary camera for like a minute
Yup exactly my reaction when I got to that part
Same! Immediately took it off my TBR
Poly person here. Yes, everyone is absolutely supposed to consent and know what's what with everyone. This is an insane portrayal of polyamory but, sadly nothing new. I kinda wish poly people has their own rom-coms that show genuine love and not the same old tropes. Love your videos also, that churro line was wild😐
The only churros allowed for a poly situation is in Challengers
If you want a poly show, I recommend The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself. @Chill Polyamory talks about it in a short for a brief synopsis if you are curious.
The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself has one of the best depictions of a naturally occurring throuple I've ever seen. And there's no cheating or jealousy or anything like that. Those three just meet and fall in love with each other and are okay with that. Netflix has cancelled it if course but I'd still give the first season a chance anyway.
@angiewinchester3384 Is it the one that starts off titled Half-Bad? Also, is the final episode a cliffhanger or at least half resolved to help it get a second season (that never happened)?
poly rom coms.. ugh don't even say it
I was hearing the "why was *i* assaulted out of all the boys" in my head and thinking of my friends who have been assaulted and what you could possibly say to someone asking this. Maybe "there's no reason, you were just unlucky" or "you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, its not your fault" but hearing her say "maybe its because of your looks" made me reel and i'm still fucking reeling. How could you possibly say something like that and never even think that was wrong??? That has the sane energy as telling a girl she got assaulted cause her dress was too short and cause she dressed sexy. Whatever answer there is when someone asks that, what she said IS NOT IT.
I totally agree 💯
When someone is asking that, the most appropriate response is to reflect back to them “it sounds you’re trying to make sense of why you were targeted” and maybe go into exploring how trying to find a reason YOU were picked often parallels with trying to find blame in yourself. It is a symptom of guilt and shame (which is something that needs to be worked through bc it is never a survivor’s fault) but it’s also usually someone seeking out “you’re not alone.” The sad fact is, he probably wasn’t the only one being abused. Nothing he did drew the predator except that he was vulnerable as an indigenous child in a residential school. The predator likely took that position because it made it easier for him to abuse the boys. A good recommendation from a therapist might be to OFFER to help them find a support group for indigenous folk who were abused in residential schools/foster care. It definitely sounds from this description that he was seeking community and the first place to start would be building a community with other survivors like himself.
@@KittyxKult Thats a good answer! One the author should have thought of. Thanks!
That open marriage story sounds like a literal nightmare, wtf 😭✋️
It really was.... I thought the book was gaslighting me
im a polyam person and PLEASE give that book a separate video i would love to see you make fun of it because it sounds like a hot mess
It truly WAS a hot mess I was shaking my head so many times at every development
its okay Cindy, i'd watch your two hours long rant of Hunting Adeline. more videos for me to watch/listen while working
You are my people!
@@withcindyI’m literally waiting for the hunting Adeline video 😔😔😔😔😔
I have rewatched the haunting Adeline video a couple times 💀
Yes, I'm in.
@@Stonedandbookish Glad I'm not alone in this. I actually needed to watch the Haunting Adeline rant twice just to fully process the levels of WTF reached by that book.
Good to know that Good Morning Monster’s monster is actually the main character/the therapist… that concept is ethically dubious already but it’s sickening that she’s not only hurting her patients, but she’s exploiting the harm she’s done and positioning it like it’s a silly goofy time instead of a compounded trauma. Absolutely sick, thank you for letting me know I can keep it off my TBR list forever!!
Cue Gabbie Hanna singing: "but what if I'm the monSTERRRRRRR"
@@withcindy a perfect candidate to be that therapist's client tbh--they match each other's energy
I’m sorry, that therapist said WHAT?! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT IS AN OKAY THING TO SAY TO A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT?! WHAT THE F U C K IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
As someone who is going into clinical psychology and wants to be a clinical psychologist, someone needs to report this therapist to the board for review, not only for her comments to the Native American patient, but also all the other stuff she said as well. Because if this is the stuff she’s comfortable having people know about her interactions with her patients, then I worry about what stuff isn’t being shared. Like seriously, what would possess her to make her think that saying any of that stuff is okay??
Dude I literally could not believe the audacity.... From then on I couldn't trust anything she said bc wtf
@ Fr, ngl, I am scared for her other patients, cause what do you mean you told someone that had been sexually assaulted that it might have been because of their looks and also had a really transphobic conversation??😭😭😭
As a psychologist, I'm simply speechless. Who agreed to even publish this creature?
My thoughts exactly. This woman should have her license taken away, no way should she be allowed to “help” people when she clearly has some messed up thoughts and biases. It absolutely sounds like she’ll do more harm than good. Nope nope nope.
@@withcindyExactly I am guessing she twisted some parts of it too ...even after this much edits this is what we are left with then it's very scary what other patients may have faced.
the courage to be disliked was NOT HELPFUL
It's worse than useless, it's harmful!!
QUEEN HARRIIIIIII😻😻
omg yesss i love hearing cindy talk about how she had a terrible time!!!
Ur a sadist I see
Same, I don’t watch the BEST books video, I just watch the WORST one 😂
i feel the need to confess that when cindy’s review of haunting adeline came out, i was listening to it on the way home from work, and forgot to disconnect bluetooth. i tried to continue the video while i was settling into my room, only to realize that it was still playing in the car. to my horror, my dad had just pulled up in time to hear cindy recapping the weird cat and mouse perverted non con dynamic between zade and adeline. i have not recovered 😭😭
Omg no 😭😭😭 I’m so sorry u had to live through that
Let’s play a fun game titled “Count the layers of terrible - therapy edition !” Yay! I start with 1. - telling a SA victim that they were possibly abused because of themselves (by being conventionally attractive in the therapist’s eyes), 2. - sharing the patient’s confidential information without providing proof of permission granted to share, 3. - thinking this was something a professional should share as an opinion not only with the patient but to anyone reading the book, 4. - all the people along the publishing chain that read this and thought “yeah, this is good”. I’m sure there’s more, but I’m just overwhelmed with that as a start.
Phew that's a lot of counting
As someone who is in an open marriage/is poly, yes, everyone is supposed to know and consent. If I'm approached by anyone, I let them know the overall situation immediately so they can choose whether they feel comfortable with that dynamic. Some people aren't cool with it and it would be fucked up to involve someone who isn’t okay with it.
That's how it should be!! The cheating thing is so bizarre
That’s awesome. My first time hooking up was with a guy who I only found out was ENGAGED afterwards when he added me on Facebook. For a long time I told myself it was fine because they were probably open and he never told me he WASN’T engaged. It’s not like he was someone I saw a future with, but I probably would have politely declined if I knew he was in a relationship at the time
@@tinymxnticoreI don't buy that (on his part). He may have justified it by saying, "Well, I never lied to you!" but he absolutely did. I'm sorry you experienced that.
@@silenceinspace. In all fairness I never confronted him so I don’t know what he’d have said, and to this day I don’t really know if he had some kind of hall pass, or just wanted to cheat.
I ran into him a year later when he was with his fiancee and while he didn’t outright ignore me, he was clearly uncomfortable about what I might say. He was a Pastor too lmao
12:17 These titles though. 🤣 What's next? Hitting Adeline? Hiding Adeline? Hurting Adeline????
Pls don't give them any ideas
Pretty sure the first two books cover 1 and three there
@lmao_tse_tungKidnapping arc is next
The line btw Dark Romance titles and Domestic Thrillers is getting thinner!
😂
21:34 - Oh that phrasing by the therapist made me cringe so hard. I believe that there can be a place for people to interrogate their own cultural traditions and how they stand up against their own contemporary morality models (I've certainly done this with my own ethnic and cultural practices especially ones regarding animal slaughter, body modification, and dealing with the interaction between my faith and my queerness), but that place is NOT a *white therapist* saying _"well did you ever think not all Native traditions are good like not all white traditions are good"_ which not only flattens cultures under those umbrellas but it egregiously erases the fact that *white Europeans have treated ALL expressions of Indigenous practice and identity as inherently "Bad" for centuries and used that as the basis to justify both physical and cultural genocide.*
People like her are the reason I very purposefully do not see white gentile therapists anymore. When you come from a marginalized ethnic group, so much of seeking therapy is going to involve dealing with traumas (both personal and generational) that I've found that therapists who are wholly disconnected from those sorts of experiences just cannot fully grasp. And even when they try their best, they can end up really harming their patients because of this disconnect.
Agreed, the only therapists I have liked were non-white. 😒
Shocked to find out that "Good Morning, Monster" has 4.45 stars on Goodreads. Then again, the majority of those four to five stars are from other white women as well so I am not surprised 🤷🏾
Goodreads ratings cannot be trusted!!
I'm not surprised because they are not ready to hear "you were SAed because poc are easier targets"
Zade Meadows would be on Luigi’s hit list
I WISH AND HOPE
Luigi could be Zade but Zade could never be Luigi
It’s giving Wattpad omg
@@withcindy nah Luigi is respectful of women (as far as we know about the information given by his classmates and friends). Luigi would definitely pew pew Zade.
The siren going off while you're talking about Haunting Adeline 😂
Hahaha I noticed that too!!
Bestie 😂 everytime you said "rubbed me off" the wrong way instead of "rubbed me" had me cracked me up
You are a true connoisseur of my verbal tics 😭
Fr I kept laughing, like Cindyyy I too do not yuck anyone's yum but oh!
yeah doesn’t “rub me off” mean like… touch me sexually LOL
The way I audibly went "Oh!" at 8:37
It was already bad that she was acting like using a group of people as a spicy online alter ego/costume was fine because the guys on the site were sleazy already, but that... I
My brain is broken wtf
It was so random and for what 😭
THANK YOU for saving me from the courage to be disliked, just removed it from my tbr 😭
You're welcome, you're welcome 😭😭😭 save yourself
Like I'm very ace but if I had a wife I would love her so much. I would be like "Look at my amazing wife." Why are these dudes like this? I don't get it!
Dudes will always have the audacity
So many times, I have to ask if straight men actually like women.
As a Latina, I’m very confused about that churro quote! I really don’t understand 🤨 …
You’re very brave Cindy for finishing reading that book lol 🙃
I do not understand what that book was trying to say!!
But you know the racism "wasn't important" because she was exploring. (
@ 🤣🤣
As a therapist I tend to think people are hard on therapists. But, I was struck by Cindy's review of Good Morning, Monster. Whenever an abuse survivor asks "Why Me?" as they usually do, I make it very clear that the reason why is all about the abuser and not about the client. We also CANNOT read the mind of the abuser. People get really caught up on "why" and you need to ask why the why of it is so important. Often, it's because we think if we can learn why we can "fix" the reason so abuse never happens to us again. Of course, this isn't reality, but it gives people a sense of power or control. So, the therapist can explore this while you also explore "why."
But, you always put the responsibility fully on the abuser. Saying "We will never know, but maybe it had something to do with the way you looked because pedophiles have physical preferences, which of course means it actually has nothing to do with you, and is sick. What would it mean for you if that were the reason?"
Is a much different response then "Maybe it's because of the way you looked." while she'd also commented on his looks as looking "so native."
I've had people say "Well, it was my fault because I actually flirted with him." And in that situation I say: "Absolutely not! You were a child that had a crush and the appropriate non-abuser response was to say 'You have a crush on me; that's sweet but of course nothing can happen.'" I also make clear children cannot consent to sex. Even if they think they know what it is, they don't.
Very well said! Sounds like that therapist should take lessons from you
The therapist for good morning monster is so stupid. When the reason for why the coach SAed him, she should have told him there's no point in justifying the actions of an abuser because there is no excuse for it, not basically blame him for it.
Agreed idk why she tried to actually give an ANSWER
genuinely with good morning monster i think if i saw my therapists name on a book and i was in it that would be a new trust issue for me to have all my personal details there (even if i agreed to the info being used id expect some anonymity with names which it sounds like theres very little) it sounds like she should of loved the one lady who wrote lady tansy circle of women and used that as an example for her structuring
I think the names and certain details were changed? I wish we got more info about how she obtained consent tho
I hadn't heard of Good Morning, Mosnter, but after this I really don't want to read it ever. Like if people want stories about covering trauma/difficulties in life, they should just stick to Chicken Noodle for the Soul bc for the most part it was stories sent in by people instead someone else deciding to use others' stories while in their most vulnerable and needing help. I honestly do side eye books that have therapists covering their patients stories bc it always seems sketchy bc of the money involved.
i love how you post a video everytime i am deciding what to watch while eating
Hope ur meal is yummy, I'm eating Chinese food rn
lol same i just sat down for lunch
Literally, I was eating a bun when suddenly - it's there, a Cindy drop
Can't wait for hunting Adeline rant😌
New year new rant
ooooh your hair is looking so healthy and nice! also it's crazy to see you in wavy hair, i got so used to your hair pin straight haha
Aww thank u!! I think the perm I got earlier this year is still there haha
"Good Morning, Monster" sure has a fitting title 😭. I've heard the saying that the worst bullies become nurses, but in my expierience so many unhinged people go into psychology. I don't know how it is in the US, but in Poland a psychologist cannot diagnose you (unless it's for specific disorders, but then they have to be trained in that specifically). They can make suggestions, however from my expierience with people that were studying psychology (if my therapist tried to diagnose me, I would be OUT), they made assumptions and failed to see the crossover between symptoms. I recently explained my dissociations to a girl who's graduating this year and was told it sounds like a panic attack/like derealisation, not dissociation (mine are actually closer to depersonalisation, not to mention that both are in fact under the dissociation umbrella... and dissociation is in fact a type of a panic attack 🤦♀️). Sorry for my rant, but therapists can be so unhinged, it's hard to find one that ACTUALLY will help you 😭.
Omg fr I've met ppl who were so unwell (like even mean to others bc of that) and they were psychology majors......
Ex-psychology major here, that sounds about right 💀
21:26 This reminds me that this year in my country, one of the most prestigious and important literature prizes went to a book (Houris) for which its author (Kamel Daoud) basically stole the story inside his dead wife's patient files. The person who is the subject of the book is still alive and never ever told anyone other than her now dead therapist, she never consented for her story to be published or told in any way. But the author is friend with the president of the republic, and this literature prize is often given to a friend of one of the judges so... it still a very important prize so in the end the author will get money out of it thanks to the number of sales rising as a result. I hope the victim's lawyer will destroy that guy.
And on top of this, the biography is distorted just enough in order to bash a religion. It can never be just one problem, isn't it?
Omg wtf?!!
Someone needs to examine the phenomena of white Bustle/Cosmo/Byrdie/Teen Vogue writers-slash-girly pop bookish lifestyle podcasters becoming mediocre nonfic authors because why did I get burned multiple times by these kinds of authors this year??? It's not nepotism per se, but it's...something
Ur right and u should say it
I ate up this video like a warm plate of churros 😂 yeah, that phrase is gonna live in my head awhile. Thank you, Cindy
You're gonna need to add churros to your shopping list every time you think of that phrase hahaha
cindy the hair is HAIRING OMFGGGGG i love. hair looked so good i checked the desc to see if a haircare product was sponsoring LOL
It was my "I'm about to rant about another terrible book" hair
@ you’ve got to start reading more bad books then!
6:20 this sounds like a miserable marriage just getting more and more miserable… not surprised
8:15 WHAT??? rich white women want all the grace but do this bullshit… girl f you and your wack ass marriage 😭
Tale as old as time
On the haunting Adeline thing, it’s not even CNC! Adeline fans like to use that term, but there’s no prior consent which is, you know, the entire basis for CONSENSUAL-Non-Consent. It may develop into that, but it starts out as SA.
I feel like the "consensual" part comes more from the reader than the characters. Somewhat like the "i consent, i consent, i don't" meme, but one of the characters is the one not consenting while the "higher power" (reader/autor) does? These books are closer to self-fulfillment fuel more than anything, after all.
ETA: Not really saying they're less bad, but that I can see people rationalizing them in that way.
@ that’s possible, and makes sense honestly. I just wish the fans would just own up to what it is: SA fantasies. Don’t try to paint it as CNC, the kink community already gets judged harshly as is.
This is THEE event some people wait for. Festive jeers to bad books 🔥
whoohoo trash!!
A recently married polyam person here, we had discussions pre us marrying that if we ever met someone we felt very serious about we wouldnt care about a like seperate ceremony with them as long as everyone in consenting and knows who cares. Thats the key to it. We’ve been open since we met though and having another long term relationship where we tried to open it up at the very end of us together i do feel like it only works truly if you START the relationship with expectations in mind. But also by this point if years down the line i never meet anyone else I wouldn’t protest closing our relationship so its give and take and communication
Hmm do u think it's possible for a relationship to work if being open is a decision made years later? Cuz I would imagine ppl can change their minds!
@@withcindy maybe! I think it would be difficult depending on the reasons why someone asks or suggests it, if your drifting apart and ask to open it thats not great but if you both cant find everything from current situation and consent it could! Love is fluid life changes
With shit like Bad Therapy coming out earlier this year, I'm just shaking my head at an actual bad therapist saying with her full chest that shes proud of her microaggressions, and another book saying trauma is fake.
My dad read “The Courage to Be Disliked” and he lived by it. I didn’t know it was this bad though. He definitely parented me with the whole “you can control your feelings” and “you’re letting your bully win by being sad.” It honestly messed me up for a while. (I also have chronic migraines so the whole “tough it out thing” really didn’t help me.) Luckily, he’s learned and no longer puts his ideologies that work for himself onto me. He’s apologized for it multiple times. I’ve also grown older and I’ve realized that I can accept or reject certain things my parents teach me.
Oof that sucks u had to deal with the brunt of his lessons but im so glad he learned from that and has apologized!!
8:26 the scream i scrumpt . you can tell this is the exact type of person who saw black latina and asian women explain the hell of racial fetishization we go through and thought it was all in our heads 😭 'the twin sins' like this shit doesn't have actual consequences for latina women who fetishists seek out and harass across dating platforms
The way I wanna tilt my head, look into her eyes, and gently ask "now what made you decide to say that"
As a polyamorous white cis woman with some noncon kinks, I spent most of this video yelling "YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD" at the authors, as if they could hear me
“The Courage to be Disliked”
… so essentially the book is “The Key to Success is to Not Be Depressed [and probably also be priviledged]”. Is that what I’m getting?
Basicallyyyyy
Feeling terribly lonely rn. Glad to have a nice with cindy vid to drown out the vocies❤
Aww I'm sorry ur feeling that way, and sending u a virtual hug!! U got me and I'll still be around in the new year!!
My evenings are always going to be glorious when a Cindy video hits my notifications
It's lunchtime over here! Enjoy ur night 😗
@@withcindy Thank uuu, have a nice meal then :D ♥
The one with the therapist is the worst. When he said her comment triggered him, I said me too and skipped forward. Therapy should be a safe place for you to work through trauma and she went and victim-blamed him? I hope the part I didn't listen to involved him leaving her practice for a better therapist.
He did seek other native spiritual healing as a way to compensate for her white therapy but I'm still offended on his behalf bc she included his story even tho he passed away
We love how seamlessly cindy transitions into ads (also THE HAIR IS LOOKING SOOO HEALTHY)
Thank u 😁🙏
As someone who works in mental health, “Good Morning Monster,” sounds horrific. I couldn’t imagine telling my clients personal details to the entire world in the form of a book. I wonder how much the power dynamic of provider vs patient influenced these poor people’s decision to consent to their stories being told. I would be HORRIFIED if my therapy sessions were turned into a book.
I woke up feeling like a hater; I needed this today
Let the hate fuel you
I love the pictures in the frames behind you!!!
oh my god, I forgot he called her little mouse. Now I'm going to be picturing Raphael from BG3 whenever your Hunting Adeline video(s) come out
And she would call him *moans* KITTY CAT 😺
@@withcindy barf
That book by the therapist really shows why we need more diverse therapists who can share our experiences. Also do we really need books by therapists when there are so many people with mental health issues who have written about their own experiences from their own point of view. One such book I really liked was (Don’t) call me crazy.
Very true!
FINALLY ive been ITCHING for you to talk about these books! Love your videos so much!
I’m so glad I could scratch that itch for you 😈
the fact that she didn't tell that guy that she was married.. so not okay! some would call it cheating but it's definitely a big lie
I think he knew she was married but he didn't know that her husband had agreed to them hooking up and when he found out he got the ick and left lol
@@withcindy ohh so HE was big into cheating and left when it wasn't salacious anymore.. also weirdo behaviour
Oh man i am SO EXCITED for the Hunting Adeline review!!
I cannot wait for you to see how absolutely wild it is!
The intro lmao the straights have not been okay for a long time 😭 so excited to watch this, I wait for your best and worst books video every year!
Thank you so much!! 😊 They're fun to do
The NYTimes just did a profile on me today. The profile is titled, "This Book Tour Comes with a Side of Fried Rice" and it's about my memoir, "Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant." I hope you'll still consider reviewing my book. Keep up the great work!
I will be definitely reading your book!!
Honestly I'm so ready for that dedicated video about More, since it sounds like the fun kind of bad book. I just know that I will be laughing my ass of throughout that 40 minute video LMFAO
I look forward to going thru the series of messy events this person went thru LOL
Good Morning Monster is what her patients thought when they met for their sessions with the author -_-
LOLLL
That hair color and style really suits you! ^^
Aww thank u, I'm going to keep it this way for a bit!
Couldn't focus on the video at first bc your hair is so pretty!! Your uploads are my favorite part of the day :)
Awww thank you !!
THANK YOU for your thoughts on Magical Overthinking!! I completely agree, it was sooo unfocused and just a collection of random thoughts. Such a clear money grab. Would love to see a whole video on it.
It really felt like a whole lotta nothing packed into a book 😖
8:46 this yeah was so real i swear
Yeah.....
this was sooooo strange
The churros… who let this woman publish this.
After hearing you talk about "the courage to be disliked" I think the authors have not been disliked enough in their life...
Hahahahahaa
I just want to say I absolutely love hearing you rant
Haha thank u :p
Love hearing about the books you enjoyed, love hearing about the books you hated. I’m excited to listen to all your yapping in 2025 as well 🤸♀️🤩
You know it! Get ready for more yapping about all the books in 2025!
“More”
Yeah, this sounds like a dysfunctional relationship pretending to be a “Open Relationship.” Everything would be better if they divorced. Feels like the husband basically pushed author into opening the relationship to cheat, and poor Op is trying to navigate all of this. Oh, and weight shame. Perfect. /sarcasm
It is soooo messy and just sad tbh
Lol, to be fair, I don't think the straights have ever been okay 😂Your recent videos have been such a great joy for this season. Happy holidays to you Cindy!
Happy holidays to you too! 🎉
18:10 listening to your rant about this sequel that I don’t intend to read of a book I also have 0 intention to pick up, is weirdly empowering
We all have so much more to survive for than some guy calling us a little mouse!
thank u for posting this on my birthday cindy i love you
Happy birthday!!🎂 Hope u have a fun and restful celebration ❤️
@@withcindybest birthday gift ever thank you 😭❤️❤️ ur literally my favorite youtuber, i continue to exist on this earth out of spite + to watch ur videos
i look forward to this video every year lmao. Cindy shitting on these books is like the highlight of my year
It's always a good time!
Thanks for the reviews, Cindy! I love your content. The HIPAA laws extend to people for 50 years after death. Sharing stories about your patient can be illegal if the details of the story identifies a patient and is not told for certain legally permissable reasons, such as patient care or insurance reasons. I'm not a lawyer, but as a medical records clerk for 13 years, I find it unethical. As a patient, I find it outrageous. The patient in question's family should look into this.
nah cuz that therapist straight up sucks. been in therapy for over a decade now, have had some bad therapists and one really good one. the good one i've stuck with would never, ever say that sort of shit. we've talked at length about therapy in general and "appropriate" ways to talk to and about people as it helps me get a grasp on a meta level of what we're going for as a therapist-client relationship, and i think the way that author talks about her clients would give my therapist a heart attack.
That therapist should be reported!!
First Haunting Adeline, then Hunting Aledine, next we need Hnting Adeline
LOL
A very good eves to me because Cindy uploaded 🤲
Hope you enjoyed it!
I was really considering reading some of the books ,glad i watch your video first
Cindy I just have to say your hair has been looking SO GOOD lately !!
Thank you so much 🙏
edit: "i'm not here to yuck anyone's yum" I am tho! i will! that's me!
wow "43 seconds ago" click, im THAT girl
already commenting just to say your hair looks so good!
i'll edit this later with an actual thought on the video lmao
Thank you!! Its a lot healthier compared to my home bleach job lol
8:37 NOOO STOP! TEARS IN MY LATINA EYES!
I seriously need Cindy to make a whole video regarding the Open Marriage Memoir bc wtf 😂
Tears in my Asian eyes as well 😭
I was already thinking it was sus for a therapist to profit off of writing about her most "interesting" patients (whatever the hell that means) but the fact she said such horrendous shit to some of them and thought it was a great idea to immortalize it in writing is WILD to me. she really thought she was being so inspiring ig
oh as latina the fake latina persona took me OUT wtf do you MEANNNN by that churros quote girl
Ugh please make longer videos cindy 😭 i love hearing you rant
Hunting Adeline will def be a long video
now this is incredibly toxic of me and I do love hearing you talk about books you like, but it just soothes my hater spirit hearing the stuff you dislike too 😭
Let the hate flow within u
Cindy giving what people have been waiting for
Of courseee
I had good morning monster on my tbr, thank you for letting me know. As a CSW (sometimes my job involves therapy) who also has experienced intense trauma, it really drives me nuts when therapists call us “heroes.” I got into this field because I was dealing with so many therapists who didn’t experience what I had and were not helping me feel better bc they were saying things that were actually offensive. Stop telling me I’m strong. I didn’t need to be strong. I was a toddler. I needed to be protected.
Yeah i'mma need you to for sure recap the open marriage memoir because that seemed unhinged and I don't wanna read it myself lmao
Yesss I'll recap all the shenanigans bc trust me the events that unfolded were MESSY
Gotta be fate that I see this notification while browsing these at the bookstore 😩🙏 thank you for your sacrifice Cindy
Anything at the bookstore catch ur eye?
My favorite video of the year ❤
Ily 💗
this hair length looks so good on u
Aww thank u 😊 I'm going to try to keep it this length
HI CINDY I LIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD SO ITS REALLY RARE FOR ME TO BE EARLY IN ONE OF YOUR VIDS!!
but I just wanna thank you for getting me through my finals this year ❤️❤️❤️ and I really appreciate having your videos to turn to when the going gets tough. you're genuinely the only one keeping me on this app 😭
I'm so glad my videos are helping you! 🥳 I hope u did well with ur exams!!
As an Indigenous (not Indigenous to America though) CSA survivor, I am SO concerned about that therapist's book. Because even if I gave my consent to be in the book, I doubt I'd consent after I READ how she wrote it. Also I can write my own damn book! Lots of people have told me to write my story someday and I'm definitely considering it. Any therapist that thinks that they could write their client's story, IN A NOVEL and not an academic paper - presumably for profit no less - is a big red flag. I feel so sorry for these people because they can't fully consent when presented with the power imbalance of their therapist asking them this.
Justice for that survivor whose story was put in this book!! He deserves better!!
Yes, can't wait for a Hunting Adeline video!!!!
Buckle up, it's gonna be wild.
I was just thinking of the Haunting/Hunting Adeline as "evil Tuxedo Mask" when you actually call him Tuxedo Mask. Twinsies.
That therapist book reminds me of the therapist I had once who told me that I should consider weightloss surgery lmao
They should be banned from therapy 😡
God, I’m getting a therapist, and my worst nightmare is a therapist like Good Morning, Monster.
I’m a white woman but like no. Ew. I’ve been SA’d and undergone extreme physical parental abuse and if the therapist in the book did that to me, oh my gosh.
Im polyam and that first book is wild. I would love to watch a full review on it
Will do!