My situation: Me: "I have feelings for you." Friend: "I have feelings for YOU!" Friend: Spends the night in bed with me (platonically, but I was woken up by neck kisses), then calls me a few days later to happily announce she's in a relationship with a guy, and gets annoyed that I'm not happy about that.
@@kimmel636 One of my friends asked me out, and although I think she's super cute, she's not really who I'd have as a partner, so after talking about it, we decided "nah." She's got a girlfriend that she's super into now, though, and I'm super happy for her. Hope they're doing well, and I hope your relationship goes well, too.
Coming out is hurting the community? You are part of the community - what hurts you hurts the community, and being true to yourself could never hurt us. We're lucky to have you, and looking forward to the day you can be open about yourself.
Yes, but they're afraid that they might not actually be. They're afraid that they might just be curious or questioning or experimenting, and if they come out and then later on have to come out again as having spoken too soon and been mistaken and actually not queer...THAT could hurt the community, because so many people already have this impression of queerness (and especially bisexuality) as only being a phase. Especially because they come from a family that is not open or accepting, it can be hard to sort out if their doubt about their own queerness comes from their own feelings or just from the hesitation induced by their unfriendly upbringing. Because it IS actually possible to just be curious or open to giving things a try sometimes, but not actually be queer in the end, and that's perfectly okay too. And it absolutely CAN be difficult to tell sometimes what all does or doesn't stem from your overbearing and/or negative upbringing versus what comes from your own personal feelings(like if maybe someone genuinely weren't really so sure if they were attracted to people of their own same gender or not.. like..ARE they actually not attracted? _or_ are they just afraid to admit it if they are because of their upbringing?), sometimes. My advice to them would be to stop putting so much pressure on themselves and to stop worrying about what to label themselves or not, either way, and to just focus more on simply discovering and embracing _WHATEVER_ (or WHOEVER) they do or don't like. Because I think that's the most important part: people simply letting themselves-and being free to let themselves-love &/or be attracted to whomever they do / are!. 🙂💜 It's OKAY, whether they connect with or are drawn to same-gender or opposite-gender people or both or neither. ((And, also, it's okay to be unsure or to just not know yet sometimes . too; ESPECIALLY when you're young. You don't always need to have everything all figured out. ^^)) It's enough to just acknowledge "I might be queer" until whenever they feel comfortable & certain enough to say, for themself, whether they are or aren't.
As a bi person who was married in a straight passing relationship... in order to be truly confident that people like you for you, you need to be your most authentic self. You cannot do that if you are keeping a piece of yourself from everyone. If you are still unsure or confused or worried you can say that when you come out (to the right folks). That's part of your truth too.
We gays who grew up awkward, insecure, and, dare I say ugly, did not make out with our best friends. Sometimes I wish I could re-do my teenage years because I missed out on too much.
I asked my straight female friend: "Isn't it hard to search for haircut reference photos though becuase it's distracting how hot all the women are??" Yeah I thought I was being relatable... hella gay
Your video on the Lesbian Masterdoc actually played a pivotal role in my Big Gay Realization, so hearing you read my Big Gay Secret felt like coming full circle 😂
Haha same here my friend. Sometimes I try to pretend I'm not ace when my friends are like "ooh they're so good looking, so sexy"...but I normally just end up awkwardly squinting at the person hoping that if I stare hard enough suddenly the sex appeal will become apparent 🤣 it's not happened yet. I find people attractive in the "oh they're so pretty" way, but then it stops there and never becomes anything else, yet I also want to have a relationship. How am I meant to find someone when I'm not able to be attracted to them any more than a friend? 😐
@@robynloveschocolate Just know that you're not alone out there. I also can find others aesthetically pleasing to look that. And that's it. Nothing more. Personally, whenever I'm going to have courage to dip my toe into the dating pool eventually, I'm going to be really straightforward about my asexuality. If they have questions, I'll explain for clarification. But hey, if they get it, but dont want that, then maybe I'll get a friend out of it. Or I'll just leave if they are rude about it. They dont deserve my time. All you can do is be honest, and most importantly, true to yourself! 😊
@@feathers13 thank you for sharing your thoughts with me 🧡 you're so right. If a person I like doesnt like who I am, then they arent worth liking in the first place. I hope you continue to be your true self as well 😊 hope you're having a lovely weekend!
Mood. I experience a lot of aesthetic attraction and also am honestly curious about sex so it took me a VERY long time to figure out the Ace thing. Learning that when most people say “sexy” they mean “I would be interested in having sex with that person” was a REVELATION. I just thought it meant someone was really nice looking and gave off really cool energy.
Honestly, listening to some of these gay secrets and hardships, and seeing myself in them, let me know that I’m not as alone as I originally thought, which is very comforting. Thank you.
I relate to the person who said that their crushes never really go away. I've had a crush on a friend for like 6 years on and off. (I already go to therapy lol).
Yeah same. Even when I’ve determined that it would not only suck but suck majorly for everyone involved if I make my feelings known, and come to peace with the friendship never progressing, the crush lingers.
Dude I literally stop catching feelings cause I force myself too…. But if I start talking to them like legit again and seeing them more at school I get feelings again and I hate it so much cause he knows I liked him ( he’s homophobic and doesn’t know I’m a trans non-binary panromantic) butttt he’s also only into “other Asians” and doesn’t want to date white girls
It took me 7 years, of wich 2 in therapy, to stop a crush on a childhood friend. It lasted from 11 to 18 years old. And also this is why I dont get the "if you love 2 people you never really loved the first one" like bitch, I'm in love with most of my friends and other 5 people all the time jsjsjs I'm too poly for that monogamous stuff
If the person that thinks they’re fake queer sees this, just wanna say that you are real and valid. I can relate to feeling like you don’t belong in the community but you do. Don’t let gatekeepers feel like you aren’t
to the person who feels like they'll never come out as bisexual, I was in a similar place at your age. I was raised in a conservative, bigoted environment, and while I moved out at 18, I kept in close contact until I was 23. by that time, I realized that I personally was not happy being closeted, and that even though I was in a long-term committed relationship with someone of a different gender, my queerness still mattered to me. I'm hopeful that you have the chance to grow and explore yourself with time, you deserve it
I can relate too. When I was a 12-13, I never thought I would "come out" as bisexual. Because of all of the homophobia I experienced, I was ashamed to be anything other than straight. Eventually, I came out as bi, and then married a man. Now, I am gay, buy since I don't plan on leaving my husband (we have an open relationship, I love him, and we have been together for many years), I feel like some people would want an explanation, or say I'm "fake gay." As of now, I wouldn't want to be thought of as straight, but I'm okay with most people thinking I'm bisexual, when I'm actually gay.
I'm still in that position but I feel better not coming out to my family that I'm bisexual but I've come out to everyone else though like close friends etc but I dont think I'll ever tell my family I'd rather them not knowing and I like it like that it may be different for others though and how they cope with things or different mindsets and thats also okay ! ❤
My crushes look exactly the same as they always did. Even 20 years later. I pine for them always, but when they break my heart I look at them for a second time and that's the new thing burned into my mind.
Totally relate to the person who said their crushes never really go away. If I talk to someone I have had romantic history with for long enough the feelings will eventually come back ://
8:12 Not Me, I didn't realize I was gay and in love with my best friend until literally ten years later. She was totally open and free with her sexuality (would make out with girls in separate settings, usually at parties and made jokes about it). I know now that I easily could've started something up with her, but my internalized homophobia was so strong, I didn't even allow myself the possibility of being gay, though I knew I was physically attracted to women. Funny to think that all the people I knew who engaged in queer activity in high school are all very straight now, while my super gay ass refused to even acknowledge when I was checking a girl out.
Crushes not going away? Oh girl I still can't get over my first (and only) love which I fell in love with 8 years ago and don't have contact with for over 6 years already. We never even dated, it was just one big tragic unrequited love which led to a really bad friendship breakup
This is my story too...It's sooo tragic to even think about it.My feelings always got in the way so now I lost the friendship this person again offered it to me.Now I am so tired of this thing.
I understand the "forever crush" thing. I had a crush on someone for 7 years... But it was on and off. I would not think about it unless we would see each other again... I don't know how a crush is supposed to be, but that was my experience.
@@wisteria1739 do you have crushes often or..? i'm asking cause it's the same for me like i don't think i ever actually get over my crushes (and for example if it's a crush on a friend it seems like i just get way more attached than.. well to friends i never had a crush on) and it can kind of go away but not fully and then come back again. but i also don't have actual crushes very often, like it's been literally just a couple of people in my whole life. whereas some people seem to have crushes more often but the crushes just go away for them if nothing happens, like there isn't such.. longevity i suppose
@@roza2633 Oh yes longevity....And no I don't have crushes very often,this person is the second person of the same sex that I have a crush on,and my last so far. My feelings have always been so intense with this one. It can never really go away.
Honestly I'm confused with how crushes are. Like I've had crushes on a few guys before and they feel bubbly af but it's a bit superficial or last until like something or some realization pops that bubble. And there's this one friend, who I'm not close to but... Its like im obsessed with (?). Its hard to explain like she isn't the most open person and i really really want to become closer. When highschool was ending she was really important to me for some unknown reason, and in highschool I worried about her alot to the point she's in my dreams (even until now). After highschool i did my best to keep in touch, but her short and dry replies, and seenzones bummed me out because it's not reciprocating what I want. I stopped talking to her but for like a year or two every time i listen to sad songs, i think of her. Ive kinda gotten over it but that lasted way too long like a couple of years?? Idk what that was but idk if it was a crush either
Right? I'm younger than you two, but I can understand that sentiment. Of course, I also kinda ruin my own chances by not wanting to casually date if there isn't a solid bond there, making me, in theory, not really open to dating someone who isn't a friend. So, I guess it'd just have to be a friend that also develops an interest in me, if you feel me?
Same. Despite i can see such scenarios happening in my vision/in my head, when it comes to actually doing it, i can't help but cringe and felt awkward.
Just because you're not liking the sex in a relationship doesn't mean it's just a friendship. My wife is ace and I have basically no libido. We haven't had sex in like 2 years. The cuddles are wonderful though and I would not trade them for the world.
I was in a loving straight-passing relationship with a man for 4 years and even though I was already kind of out (to him and certain people not everyone) I felt guilty because I wanted more. This feeling of guilt made me question whether I was gay and not bi, especially last year when you came out. I even emailed you hoping you would respond. Now that we have been broken up for 3 months, I've made sure that I am indeed bi but the thought of only being with a man freaked me out. Now that I am single I feel free. I probably didn't explain it well enough but I think what made me freak out when I was with him was the lack of experience I had with women.
*Raises hand* I never made our with my best friend in secret. In fact I haven't made out with anyone and my first kiss wasn't until I was 24... aka like 2 months ago.
I’m a woman married to a man, always thought I was bi, but I’m starting to be honest with myself that I don’t find men sexually attractive. He’s my best friend so I don’t want to hurt him, I’m pretty sure I’m a lesbian. It’s not a great place to be. These videos have made me feel not alone and have made me smile, thanks alayna 🥰
I know this is two months old but I just wanted to say I was with my husband for a really long time and I came out this year. I’m in my thirties so it’s taken me a long time but I’m so glad I did. You can be your true self and you’ll be so much happier for it.
The crush thing is REAL! For me personally I think it's because i remember how they made me feel in the past, (you know because it's fresh and exciting) and because i never took it further with these people, that feeling stays hidden until they come around 🤷🏼♀️
lol, compersion is the happiness non monogamous people feel when their partner has a happy experience with somebody else. It’s like an “I’m so happy for you” feeling, but more personal.
I didn't know if this was good enough for a gay secret but i was so sheltered growing up that vividly remember seeing a rainbow flag on the news one time as thinking, "wow! That's a pretty cool country flag, I wonder what country..." Yeaaaaaaa.... I'm gay. Now I get to use the flag! 🏳️🌈
My crushes stay forever too! This isn't shocking tho because even like platonic love stays forever for me too. Like if someone finds their way into my heart they are there to stay even if they are no longer physically there. Blessing and a curse, BOUNDARIES are so so important! I've actually recently started thinking I might identify with relationship anarchy, not that this is indicative but so important to investigate how the different types of attraction feel for you. Love this series! I love all the queer secret series on TH-cam, they give me life
God I forgot about relationship anarchy, I should look into that again. I'm aroace, you'd think I would know more about this hahaha. (Ah but maybe I am already kind of living that life and that's why I stopped reading about it?) Anyway thanks for the reminder!
@@Kagomai15 happy to give the reminder 😊 it's funny since I posted this comment I fully identify with relationship anarchy but I'm also learning to be able to move romantic/sexual attraction into a platonic love more effectively. So still yay boundaries lol! Thank you for showing me my progress by bringing this comment back 😆
We just didn't talk about it because of Jesus 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 It's pretty similar being ace and just assuming everyone is lying about or exagurating their sexual experiences 😂😂
“Did anyone not make out with their best friend” sadly raises my hand. Not for lack of trying, we were both just kiiinda stupid and her parents were like, literally the worst so she grew up to be the most obnoxious straight girl ever but I very nearly turned her without even knowing it lmao. Like I’m talking she was the one who taught me what… other video sharing sites were. And we had a game where one of us would pretend to be a dude and pretend to like, do stuff in the fake nightclub we turned her garage into. She also locked me in a dog crate more than once and I feel like she should be paying me reparations for the damage that did to my psyche. When your first crush locks you in a dog crate you come out of that a changed person.
“I’m 12 and my biggest gay secret is watching your channel” 😭😭😭 I immediately thought of how I watched Rose & Rosie in highschool only to come up nearly 10 years later and then thought that - hold up - WE are those TH-camrs for people now 😭
15:30 OMG this is exactly me!! My crushes never go away, if my previous crushes came to me and told me they liked me, even if I was crushing on other people at that point, I would still have feelings for them. It’s really weird
Thank you so much Alayna, I truly and sincerely mean this. Thank you for being you and for making all the videos that you do, being such an amazing voice for us within the LGBTQ+ community. I honestly have to say that I am so thankful to have come across your videos when I have because I've been sitting here struggling with some issues in regards to my sexuality, and realizing that I have spent the last 28 almost 29 years of my life living as someone I am not. I have lived under this umbrella of being bisexual/pansexual for so long, because I didn't want my family/friends to judge me or have anything to say to me about my sexuality. I didn't want to disappoint my family either, so I have lived within the means of what THEY have wanted... I have recently within the last few months discovered who I truly am, and I am GAY and so very proud to be!!! I have always wondered and questioned why I have always been more attracted to women then men, and never truly attracted to men sexually... So to finally figure this out about myself, to truly accept myself as I am, who I am, and come out to my family and friends, I feel so incredibily free and happy now. I feel genuinely HAPPY and full of life now. So thank you for being a supportive person for all of us out here, and just giving us great content to enjoy from a fellow queer
"best friends have gay energy" totally agree but me and my childhood best friend both ended up being super queer and I don't know about her but I was never once attracted to her. (she's perfectly attractive it was more that she was only ever a friend to me, and no sexual or romantic or queerplatonic etc. attraction came of that relationship.) I think our queerness was probably something that subconsciously bonded us, but no making out.
Yes!!! After high school we had a get together at my place and someone mentioned being asexual, and then three others chimed in with the same, and then we had to look around the circle to be like wait, do we even have any straight friends? We had two and only one was present hahaha We went from the group with one gay friend to "where did the straights go?"
I'm in my 60's and have known since I wad 13 that I'm attracted to women but have always hid it due to my family and 7:08 now my children I'm afraid I will never be able to be my true self I want to scream I love women
4:15 oh, wow, that's so sad. But I thought that too, but now I can't help but feel like I missed out by limiting things. But I get the "it's easier to avoid the homophobia"
In case someone need to hear it; you matter! You may not know why yet, and that’s because you need to keep learning who you are and live and one day you’ll see you do matter
I’m polyamorous and whenever I have a crush it’s really hard for me to get passed it. I can stay away from them, ignore them for as long as possible and the feelings will fade, but being around them just brings everything back. It’s such a tiring feeling. Sometimes it feels so tiring to want to love so many people. I know that I’m capable of loving so many people, but having those feelings rush back when you think that you’re over them just makes those feelings more and more exhausting. Polyamory is different for everyone, but I knew that I was polyamorous when every crush never seemed to go away.
I have been steadily watching your channel for the past 7 maybe 8-9 years? This is by far one of my favourites series you've done! I sat at my desk for an hour just laughing to myself out loud. I identified as a lesbian ( and a woman) for 13 years. It was actually because of your channel 3 years ago that I realized, " Oh my god, I'm a GUY!" Anyway, I've been on testosterone for 3 years now - and it's all thanks to one of your videos. I think everything you've put out in terms of queer-related content as well as mental health & mindfulness is incredible. Also, quick plot twist and not-so-secret-secret, 3 years deep on testosterone and I definitely am also into men now too. Wild. :')
Alayna, have you ever read a book called 'No Previous Experience"? I'm sure you would love it. The true story of two women professors, both Canadian, straight and married, who meet in Scotland. They convince themselves that cuddling and holding and such were 'normal' between friends, for like 15 years, before finally doing the deed. The women retired and settled in British Columbia.
I'm curious, but I'm nervous this book will motivate me to just hold out like a sad, desperate puppy for crushes that will never come to fruition, lmao.
I really felt that person who said "I don't have any reason to come out because I'm attracted to the opposite gender." I'm bisexual, and when I first realized, I also thought that I'd never come out because my parents are homophobic and I just didn't see the point. But after a few months of keeping it a secret, I realized that I couldn't stay in the closet forever. It just felt like I was being disingenuous with my family, and I hated feeling like I wasn't being honest. There were little things that I wanted to say but couldn't. There were experiences I had that I couldn't share. There were so many times that I wanted a hug, or to have a good cry and spill all my secrets, but I wouldn't be able to explain what was troubling me without coming out. And... well, I'm going to come out in a week.
15:13 This is the same as me! I can never talk to a guy without getting a crush on them. About one or two years ago, I developed a crush on a guy (and I mean a HUGE crush). I said some pretty awkward and stupid things, so we stopped talking for a bit. Since then the same thing has happened about 4 times (with the same guy I mention)
That one about not being able to finish with men.. I feel like that's future me writing that 😂😂 Just this last year started realizing im bi, haven't slept with a woman yet so I'm hoping maybe I'll finally be able to finish with a partner then.. if not, guess I am just broken 😅
Lmao not me, whose native language is not English, at 15:04 going; transference!! TRANSFERENCE is the word ur looking for. And yes, thank you Wentworth for increasing my vocabulary
On the crushes coming back thing, most of my crushes stay gone once they go but there is one that I think I will always have. The first girl I ever loved and dated and I broke up but remained friends. She moved to a different country but comes back every so often to see her parents and we always catch up, and every time we do my feelings come back. All the butterflies and the constantly smiling. Even when I was dating other people at the time who I loved and would never cheat on, I would still get my crush back when we met up for drinks.
I submitted a secret after the last video you did of this, and omg I wasn't prepared for the anxiety I got when you were about to read a new secret. lol I was thinking, ah what if the next one is mine?! lmao
15:34 oof yeah my crushes usually go away but especially when it's a person i have serious feelings for it can take a while and when it hasn't been that long that person could still like change their mind and get with me if they wanted to. uhm but with casual crushes they usually go away. i also have friends i have platonic feelings for and somewhat romantic feelings for? like not enough to persue it but if they wanted to date i would go for it?
Would you run away if the person you have the most serious feelings for confessed to you that she liked you as much as you do? Would you just prefer to keep the others you have light,fleeting feelings for if you were brought up in a conservative family?
When you read the my crushes never go away one I said out loud "that's everyone" right before you said that never happens to you! That's me for sure I've still got crushes from 5+ years ago. On Clara and June my uncle and his partner were together for 15 years before his partner died.... And my grandparents thought they were ~roomates~ until they passed 20 years afterward.
I usually keep crush remnants that can be easily revived :). We all change with the years, but there's always this 'little something' that will still seem attractive to me. And when it's an ex it's that + the attachment and familiarity that come back. I love my exes :-D
I never made out with my best friend in high school but I definitely thought about it. I was still in the throw’s of compulsory heterosexuality so I really didn’t know what to do with those thoughts and didn’t realize at all those thoughts were fantasies.
13:09 kind of relatable. Women are so intimidating. I'm in the later half of my 20s with very minimal gay experience, so I'm super afraid to look dumb in front of experienced lesbians 😭
My crushes go away I thinkkk- but my one crush definitely came back when I got back into contact with them… but I’m trying to just be friends so that’s funnn😃
18:12 "i thought i didn't like porn but recently found out i just didn't like the MEN in porn" this is the most relatable one from this video 🙂 i thought i was asexual up until i turned 24 and realized i was in love with my (straight) best friend for years 😂 i'm also a gay cliché, i know 🤭 then i came out (only to her and anonymous internet friends). and even tho i'm still confused whether i'm bi or lesbian, the past few years after coming out were totally WORTH IT. i feel so much happier now and it's easier to understand your own emotions 😌💕
To the person who wrote the one starting at 12:47...are you me??? Not talking about the first part but the latter when they explained how they are with women and all...
That comment about internalized homophobia got really real. I was exactly the same at 17… didn’t really get fully comfortable with my bisexuality until I was 35.
My crushes don't really go away unless I realize that person is just not who I thought they were. If it's just a compatibility thing between the two of us, I still get super flutters anytime I see or think about anyone who I've had a crush on
15:34 My answer is no, they do not. It sucks too, because once you're rejected, you're stuck liking that person while they live their life, eventually finding their own partner if they are not romance repulsed. My only perk is that I like multiple people, so I develop another crush to focus on, and now I've been rejected by all of them, one of them happily has a boyfriend, and the rest don't like me because either they are only attracted to women (I'm bigender) or they just don't like me. In short, my crushes do not go away, and you're lucky that yours do.
"I have feelings for you"... "I have feelings for YOU"... historians-"the feeling was friendship"
Bffs til death do us part
Bro- this is what my best friend said.
*We’ve been dating for two years.*
When friendship is rainbow magic ♡
My situation:
Me: "I have feelings for you."
Friend: "I have feelings for YOU!"
Friend: Spends the night in bed with me (platonically, but I was woken up by neck kisses), then calls me a few days later to happily announce she's in a relationship with a guy, and gets annoyed that I'm not happy about that.
@@Steertanzer Oh that sucks
" did anyone of us NOT make out with our best friend growing up?"
Sadly raises hand
same i was mostly friend with boys or no friends
Yeah my childhood bestie is a straight trumpie 💕✌️🥲
My best friend asked me out lol
*We’re dating now.*
@@kimmel636 One of my friends asked me out, and although I think she's super cute, she's not really who I'd have as a partner, so after talking about it, we decided "nah." She's got a girlfriend that she's super into now, though, and I'm super happy for her. Hope they're doing well, and I hope your relationship goes well, too.
Same! Also all my friends are straight for some reason
This is a petition to make this a weekly series👆
Yessssss
I’m very nosy
I third this
Absolutely
NINE MORE LIKES AND ITS OFFICIAL
This comment section passed the vibe check
Wait... There's a vibe check???
@@arushiwalkade3225 apparently so haha
OMG!! You read mine!! O-O I'm that 17 year old, shirt loving bastard!
Thank you, thank you very much
How is Anna doing? Still haunting the place?
To the person who said that they think they’re a fake queer, I don’t know you but I know that you’re not fake queer. You’re the real thing
Coming out is hurting the community? You are part of the community - what hurts you hurts the community, and being true to yourself could never hurt us. We're lucky to have you, and looking forward to the day you can be open about yourself.
Imo imposter syndrome and self doubt are part of the queer experience. One of us! One of us!
Yes, but they're afraid that they might not actually be. They're afraid that they might just be curious or questioning or experimenting, and if they come out and then later on have to come out again as having spoken too soon and been mistaken and actually not queer...THAT could hurt the community, because so many people already have this impression of queerness (and especially bisexuality) as only being a phase.
Especially because they come from a family that is not open or accepting, it can be hard to sort out if their doubt about their own queerness comes from their own feelings or just from the hesitation induced by their unfriendly upbringing. Because it IS actually possible to just be curious or open to giving things a try sometimes, but not actually be queer in the end, and that's perfectly okay too. And it absolutely CAN be difficult to tell sometimes what all does or doesn't stem from your overbearing and/or negative upbringing versus what comes from your own personal feelings(like if maybe someone genuinely weren't really so sure if they were attracted to people of their own same gender or not.. like..ARE they actually not attracted? _or_ are they just afraid to admit it if they are because of their upbringing?), sometimes.
My advice to them would be to stop putting so much pressure on themselves and to stop worrying about what to label themselves or not, either way, and to just focus more on simply discovering and embracing _WHATEVER_ (or WHOEVER) they do or don't like. Because I think that's the most important part: people simply letting themselves-and being free to let themselves-love &/or be attracted to whomever they do / are!. 🙂💜 It's OKAY, whether they connect with or are drawn to same-gender or opposite-gender people or both or neither. ((And, also, it's okay to be unsure or to just not know yet sometimes . too; ESPECIALLY when you're young. You don't always need to have everything all figured out. ^^))
It's enough to just acknowledge "I might be queer" until whenever they feel comfortable & certain enough to say, for themself, whether they are or aren't.
you the real deal
As a bi person who was married in a straight passing relationship... in order to be truly confident that people like you for you, you need to be your most authentic self. You cannot do that if you are keeping a piece of yourself from everyone. If you are still unsure or confused or worried you can say that when you come out (to the right folks). That's part of your truth too.
We gays who grew up awkward, insecure, and, dare I say ugly, did not make out with our best friends. Sometimes I wish I could re-do my teenage years because I missed out on too much.
Feel this, I didn't even have a best friend
same
yep
This made me feel better!
I knew she was straight so I only had a silent crush on her :')
"So well written. Punctuation on point. Not a spelling error in sight. Women love that shit" 😂😂😂😂😂 They're not wrong
We do love that shit….😂😂
Not using the tripod and instead stacking the camera chaotically is the same energy as gays not sitting correctly in chairs. BIG gay energy.
I feel seen
That's how I found out I was gay😂 these legs are everywhere!
i don't even sit in the car correctly, passenger or driver seat
ALAYNA! Guess what, I actually flirted with a real live human woman last night. Very exciting, I’ve never done this before.
OMGGGG contrats!!!!!
Good for you!!!
Hell yeah!!! Congrats!
Congrats happy for you
HELL YEAH!! LETS GO LESBIANS 🥳
I asked my straight female friend: "Isn't it hard to search for haircut reference photos though becuase it's distracting how hot all the women are??" Yeah I thought I was being relatable... hella gay
this
this is exactly why I have a pinterest board of images of hot girls titled "hair inspiration"
clearly I'm in the closet-
Relate so hard to this comment.
That's a gay thing to do?? Omfg I said that to my *mom* and she was *judging me so hard!*
XD what was her reaction
Me!😂
I’m gay. That felt really good to write.
Hello there !!!
❤️
Hi :)
❤❤❤!!!
im proud of you
it's like what -Descartes- Billie Eilish said, "I think I'm gay, therefore I am." :D
Wasn’t that Billie Eilish
@@AlaynaJoyOfficial You're right! Fixed it :3
My ace secret - I thought everyone was just pretending to enjoy sex, turns out it's not just a giant conspiracy 😂
I thought everyone was pretending to be sexually attracted to each other, like an inside joke i didn't get.
Turns out, I'm just ace
I thought movies and books were making up being attracted at first site to move the plot along faster 😭 aceeee
@@TheTruestGrit i thought that attraction was aesthetic, not sexual 😳
I was very weirded out when I found out
OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH LITERALLY SAME
I know how you feel!
Your video on the Lesbian Masterdoc actually played a pivotal role in my Big Gay Realization, so hearing you read my Big Gay Secret felt like coming full circle 😂
Omg which one was you which one was youuuuu 🌈
@@AlaynaJoyOfficial 16:36! 😅
Sameeeee! Like a huge role
I'm asexual and genuinely thought people talking about how they wanted to have sex or how great it was were joking/exaggerating/making things up.
As a homoromantic asexual, I agree! I just never understood it personally. But if it makes other people happy, then I'm happy for them, of course.
Haha same here my friend. Sometimes I try to pretend I'm not ace when my friends are like "ooh they're so good looking, so sexy"...but I normally just end up awkwardly squinting at the person hoping that if I stare hard enough suddenly the sex appeal will become apparent 🤣 it's not happened yet.
I find people attractive in the "oh they're so pretty" way, but then it stops there and never becomes anything else, yet I also want to have a relationship. How am I meant to find someone when I'm not able to be attracted to them any more than a friend? 😐
@@robynloveschocolate Just know that you're not alone out there. I also can find others aesthetically pleasing to look that. And that's it. Nothing more. Personally, whenever I'm going to have courage to dip my toe into the dating pool eventually, I'm going to be really straightforward about my asexuality. If they have questions, I'll explain for clarification. But hey, if they get it, but dont want that, then maybe I'll get a friend out of it. Or I'll just leave if they are rude about it. They dont deserve my time. All you can do is be honest, and most importantly, true to yourself! 😊
@@feathers13 thank you for sharing your thoughts with me 🧡 you're so right. If a person I like doesnt like who I am, then they arent worth liking in the first place. I hope you continue to be your true self as well 😊 hope you're having a lovely weekend!
Mood. I experience a lot of aesthetic attraction and also am honestly curious about sex so it took me a VERY long time to figure out the Ace thing. Learning that when most people say “sexy” they mean “I would be interested in having sex with that person” was a REVELATION. I just thought it meant someone was really nice looking and gave off really cool energy.
Honestly, listening to some of these gay secrets and hardships, and seeing myself in them, let me know that I’m not as alone as I originally thought, which is very comforting. Thank you.
I relate to the person who said that their crushes never really go away. I've had a crush on a friend for like 6 years on and off. (I already go to therapy lol).
Oof that’s a mood (I don’t go to therapy lol)
Yeah same. Even when I’ve determined that it would not only suck but suck majorly for everyone involved if I make my feelings known, and come to peace with the friendship never progressing, the crush lingers.
Dude I literally stop catching feelings cause I force myself too…. But if I start talking to them like legit again and seeing them more at school I get feelings again and I hate it so much cause he knows I liked him ( he’s homophobic and doesn’t know I’m a trans non-binary panromantic) butttt he’s also only into “other Asians” and doesn’t want to date white girls
Same✋🏼😭
It's been 3 years and SHE is still my bestie... I just can't confess💀
It took me 7 years, of wich 2 in therapy, to stop a crush on a childhood friend. It lasted from 11 to 18 years old. And also this is why I dont get the "if you love 2 people you never really loved the first one" like bitch, I'm in love with most of my friends and other 5 people all the time jsjsjs I'm too poly for that monogamous stuff
If the person that thinks they’re fake queer sees this, just wanna say that you are real and valid. I can relate to feeling like you don’t belong in the community but you do. Don’t let gatekeepers feel like you aren’t
We laugh with, not at 😇
unless it's at your dad shirt
I'm loving the shirt tho 😭
Ngl I like the shirt
to the person who feels like they'll never come out as bisexual, I was in a similar place at your age. I was raised in a conservative, bigoted environment, and while I moved out at 18, I kept in close contact until I was 23. by that time, I realized that I personally was not happy being closeted, and that even though I was in a long-term committed relationship with someone of a different gender, my queerness still mattered to me. I'm hopeful that you have the chance to grow and explore yourself with time, you deserve it
I can relate too. When I was a 12-13, I never thought I would "come out" as bisexual. Because of all of the homophobia I experienced, I was ashamed to be anything other than straight. Eventually, I came out as bi, and then married a man. Now, I am gay, buy since I don't plan on leaving my husband (we have an open relationship, I love him, and we have been together for many years), I feel like some people would want an explanation, or say I'm "fake gay." As of now, I wouldn't want to be thought of as straight, but I'm okay with most people thinking I'm bisexual, when I'm actually gay.
I'm still in that position but I feel better not coming out to my family that I'm bisexual but I've come out to everyone else though like close friends etc but I dont think I'll ever tell my family I'd rather them not knowing and I like it like that it may be different for others though and how they cope with things or different mindsets and thats also okay ! ❤
Alayna that shirt with that wash of denim is chef's kiss
My crushes look exactly the same as they always did. Even 20 years later. I pine for them always, but when they break my heart I look at them for a second time and that's the new thing burned into my mind.
Totally relate to the person who said their crushes never really go away. If I talk to someone I have had romantic history with for long enough the feelings will eventually come back ://
8:12 Not Me, I didn't realize I was gay and in love with my best friend until literally ten years later. She was totally open and free with her sexuality (would make out with girls in separate settings, usually at parties and made jokes about it). I know now that I easily could've started something up with her, but my internalized homophobia was so strong, I didn't even allow myself the possibility of being gay, though I knew I was physically attracted to women.
Funny to think that all the people I knew who engaged in queer activity in high school are all very straight now, while my super gay ass refused to even acknowledge when I was checking a girl out.
I feel this on a deep level
Truth.
#superstraight
you unlocked a gay memory right there, i didnt make out, but we were CONSTANTLY TOUCHING TOUNGUES for some reason (gay)
“Women love that shit.” Alayna, you’re too right. I cracked up immediately.
Crushes not going away? Oh girl I still can't get over my first (and only) love which I fell in love with 8 years ago and don't have contact with for over 6 years already. We never even dated, it was just one big tragic unrequited love which led to a really bad friendship breakup
This is my story too...It's sooo tragic to even think about it.My feelings always got in the way so now I lost the friendship this person again offered it to me.Now I am so tired of this thing.
I understand the "forever crush" thing. I had a crush on someone for 7 years... But it was on and off. I would not think about it unless we would see each other again... I don't know how a crush is supposed to be, but that was my experience.
A crush but make it adhd :D
Same😭😭 I am so tired of this feeling for this one person,that has been there for 6 years.
@@wisteria1739 do you have crushes often or..? i'm asking cause it's the same for me like i don't think i ever actually get over my crushes (and for example if it's a crush on a friend it seems like i just get way more attached than.. well to friends i never had a crush on) and it can kind of go away but not fully and then come back again. but i also don't have actual crushes very often, like it's been literally just a couple of people in my whole life. whereas some people seem to have crushes more often but the crushes just go away for them if nothing happens, like there isn't such.. longevity i suppose
@@roza2633 Oh yes longevity....And no I don't have crushes very often,this person is the second person of the same sex that I have a crush on,and my last so far. My feelings have always been so intense with this one. It can never really go away.
Honestly I'm confused with how crushes are. Like I've had crushes on a few guys before and they feel bubbly af but it's a bit superficial or last until like something or some realization pops that bubble. And there's this one friend, who I'm not close to but... Its like im obsessed with (?). Its hard to explain like she isn't the most open person and i really really want to become closer. When highschool was ending she was really important to me for some unknown reason, and in highschool I worried about her alot to the point she's in my dreams (even until now). After highschool i did my best to keep in touch, but her short and dry replies, and seenzones bummed me out because it's not reciprocating what I want. I stopped talking to her but for like a year or two every time i listen to sad songs, i think of her. Ive kinda gotten over it but that lasted way too long like a couple of years?? Idk what that was but idk if it was a crush either
PLEASE don't ever feel like these videos will get too long, I honestly would watch and hour + of this
We love the camera set up and the cat!
I'm 29 and can happily say I never "experimented" with my friends at any time. Friends are friends to me I can't cross that line haha.
Same
Right? I'm younger than you two, but I can understand that sentiment. Of course, I also kinda ruin my own chances by not wanting to casually date if there isn't a solid bond there, making me, in theory, not really open to dating someone who isn't a friend.
So, I guess it'd just have to be a friend that also develops an interest in me, if you feel me?
Same. Despite i can see such scenarios happening in my vision/in my head, when it comes to actually doing it, i can't help but cringe and felt awkward.
Just because you're not liking the sex in a relationship doesn't mean it's just a friendship. My wife is ace and I have basically no libido. We haven't had sex in like 2 years. The cuddles are wonderful though and I would not trade them for the world.
I was in a loving straight-passing relationship with a man for 4 years and even though I was already kind of out (to him and certain people not everyone) I felt guilty because I wanted more. This feeling of guilt made me question whether I was gay and not bi, especially last year when you came out. I even emailed you hoping you would respond. Now that we have been broken up for 3 months, I've made sure that I am indeed bi but the thought of only being with a man freaked me out. Now that I am single I feel free. I probably didn't explain it well enough but I think what made me freak out when I was with him was the lack of experience I had with women.
*Raises hand* I never made our with my best friend in secret. In fact I haven't made out with anyone and my first kiss wasn't until I was 24... aka like 2 months ago.
N i c e
I’m a woman married to a man, always thought I was bi, but I’m starting to be honest with myself that I don’t find men sexually attractive. He’s my best friend so I don’t want to hurt him, I’m pretty sure I’m a lesbian. It’s not a great place to be. These videos have made me feel not alone and have made me smile, thanks alayna 🥰
I know this is two months old but I just wanted to say I was with my husband for a really long time and I came out this year. I’m in my thirties so it’s taken me a long time but I’m so glad I did. You can be your true self and you’ll be so much happier for it.
The crush thing is REAL! For me personally I think it's because i remember how they made me feel in the past, (you know because it's fresh and exciting) and because i never took it further with these people, that feeling stays hidden until they come around 🤷🏼♀️
lol, compersion is the happiness non monogamous people feel when their partner has a happy experience with somebody else. It’s like an “I’m so happy for you” feeling, but more personal.
Definitely seen that shirt before and it's a winner! I love Ms. Cat - she's looking fine. When is the tictok lesbian coming back?
I didn't know if this was good enough for a gay secret but i was so sheltered growing up that vividly remember seeing a rainbow flag on the news one time as thinking, "wow! That's a pretty cool country flag, I wonder what country..." Yeaaaaaaa.... I'm gay. Now I get to use the flag! 🏳️🌈
My crushes stay forever too! This isn't shocking tho because even like platonic love stays forever for me too. Like if someone finds their way into my heart they are there to stay even if they are no longer physically there. Blessing and a curse, BOUNDARIES are so so important! I've actually recently started thinking I might identify with relationship anarchy, not that this is indicative but so important to investigate how the different types of attraction feel for you.
Love this series! I love all the queer secret series on TH-cam, they give me life
God I forgot about relationship anarchy, I should look into that again. I'm aroace, you'd think I would know more about this hahaha. (Ah but maybe I am already kind of living that life and that's why I stopped reading about it?) Anyway thanks for the reminder!
@@Kagomai15 happy to give the reminder 😊 it's funny since I posted this comment I fully identify with relationship anarchy but I'm also learning to be able to move romantic/sexual attraction into a platonic love more effectively. So still yay boundaries lol! Thank you for showing me my progress by bringing this comment back 😆
You to Boog at 9:36 "You are naughty!" with this massive smile on your face hahahahaha
Well this isn’t a secret 🤫 but I have date with a girl this Sunday. Wish me luck 🍀.
Have an awesome time !!!
good luck omg that’s so exciting
Lavonne Alexander good luck sis!
good luck gurl!
Good luck!
We just didn't talk about it because of Jesus 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It's pretty similar being ace and just assuming everyone is lying about or exagurating their sexual experiences 😂😂
“Did anyone not make out with their best friend” sadly raises my hand.
Not for lack of trying, we were both just kiiinda stupid and her parents were like, literally the worst so she grew up to be the most obnoxious straight girl ever but I very nearly turned her without even knowing it lmao.
Like I’m talking she was the one who taught me what… other video sharing sites were. And we had a game where one of us would pretend to be a dude and pretend to like, do stuff in the fake nightclub we turned her garage into.
She also locked me in a dog crate more than once and I feel like she should be paying me reparations for the damage that did to my psyche. When your first crush locks you in a dog crate you come out of that a changed person.
No way I did that whole night club game thing with a girl toooo
And yes we were both also stupid mostly me
“I’m 12 and my biggest gay secret is watching your channel” 😭😭😭 I immediately thought of how I watched Rose & Rosie in highschool only to come up nearly 10 years later and then thought that - hold up - WE are those TH-camrs for people now 😭
15:30 OMG this is exactly me!! My crushes never go away, if my previous crushes came to me and told me they liked me, even if I was crushing on other people at that point, I would still have feelings for them. It’s really weird
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I clicked as soon as I saw the notif! And no, your shirt is not an atrocity! It's amazing!!!!
Thank you so much Alayna, I truly and sincerely mean this. Thank you for being you and for making all the videos that you do, being such an amazing voice for us within the LGBTQ+ community. I honestly have to say that I am so thankful to have come across your videos when I have because I've been sitting here struggling with some issues in regards to my sexuality, and realizing that I have spent the last 28 almost 29 years of my life living as someone I am not. I have lived under this umbrella of being bisexual/pansexual for so long, because I didn't want my family/friends to judge me or have anything to say to me about my sexuality. I didn't want to disappoint my family either, so I have lived within the means of what THEY have wanted... I have recently within the last few months discovered who I truly am, and I am GAY and so very proud to be!!! I have always wondered and questioned why I have always been more attracted to women then men, and never truly attracted to men sexually... So to finally figure this out about myself, to truly accept myself as I am, who I am, and come out to my family and friends, I feel so incredibily free and happy now. I feel genuinely HAPPY and full of life now. So thank you for being a supportive person for all of us out here, and just giving us great content to enjoy from a fellow queer
1:59 did the cat shake the camera or what? 😂
My crushes never fully go away, I thought I was the only one!
"best friends have gay energy" totally agree but me and my childhood best friend both ended up being super queer and I don't know about her but I was never once attracted to her. (she's perfectly attractive it was more that she was only ever a friend to me, and no sexual or romantic or queerplatonic etc. attraction came of that relationship.) I think our queerness was probably something that subconsciously bonded us, but no making out.
Yes!!! After high school we had a get together at my place and someone mentioned being asexual, and then three others chimed in with the same, and then we had to look around the circle to be like wait, do we even have any straight friends? We had two and only one was present hahaha We went from the group with one gay friend to "where did the straights go?"
@@Kagomai15 OK that's hilarious and totally realistic. Further evidence that the "token gay friend" is a straight-people invention.
I'm in my 60's and have known since I wad 13 that I'm attracted to women but have always hid it due to my family and 7:08 now my children I'm afraid I will never be able to be my true self I want to scream I love women
You are so genuine and caring, none of these secrets are mine but I still feel so cared for
Please make this a series, it’s so entertaining! Also your cat is so cute!
“This shirt should’ve stayed my gay secret” 😂 hahah! I quite like it actually
4:15 oh, wow, that's so sad. But I thought that too, but now I can't help but feel like I missed out by limiting things. But I get the "it's easier to avoid the homophobia"
I love this. You should make this a regular thing. We all love to hear a good confessional.
Haven't even started but I needed this! 🥰🥰🥰
In case someone need to hear it; you matter! You may not know why yet, and that’s because you need to keep learning who you are and live and one day you’ll see you do matter
This is the safest place on the internet. The safest place I’ve ever found in the world.
My crushes never leave and I hate it. A couple have but there's a couple people I actively don't talk to because of it.
Is it like,you kind of,running away from them because of your feelings for them if I may ask?
I’m polyamorous and whenever I have a crush it’s really hard for me to get passed it. I can stay away from them, ignore them for as long as possible and the feelings will fade, but being around them just brings everything back. It’s such a tiring feeling. Sometimes it feels so tiring to want to love so many people. I know that I’m capable of loving so many people, but having those feelings rush back when you think that you’re over them just makes those feelings more and more exhausting. Polyamory is different for everyone, but I knew that I was polyamorous when every crush never seemed to go away.
I love how supportive and fun this is
I have been steadily watching your channel for the past 7 maybe 8-9 years? This is by far one of my favourites series you've done! I sat at my desk for an hour just laughing to myself out loud. I identified as a lesbian ( and a woman) for 13 years. It was actually because of your channel 3 years ago that I realized, " Oh my god, I'm a GUY!" Anyway, I've been on testosterone for 3 years now - and it's all thanks to one of your videos. I think everything you've put out in terms of queer-related content as well as mental health & mindfulness is incredible. Also, quick plot twist and not-so-secret-secret, 3 years deep on testosterone and I definitely am also into men now too. Wild. :')
Alayna, have you ever read a book called 'No Previous Experience"? I'm sure you would love it. The true story of two women professors, both Canadian, straight and married, who meet in Scotland. They convince themselves that cuddling and holding and such were 'normal' between friends, for like 15 years, before finally doing the deed. The women retired and settled in British Columbia.
I'm curious, but I'm nervous this book will motivate me to just hold out like a sad, desperate puppy for crushes that will never come to fruition, lmao.
@@supremeoverlord0 its worth the future angst lol.
@@suzannehawkins383 I am not your broody writing material! 😭 /j
you trigger my gay thoughts, i've been in denial for a while now, but on the way there thank you alayna
15:25 Same. Not if it was a small crush, but if it was a bigger one, then yeah.
I really felt that person who said "I don't have any reason to come out because I'm attracted to the opposite gender."
I'm bisexual, and when I first realized, I also thought that I'd never come out because my parents are homophobic and I just didn't see the point. But after a few months of keeping it a secret, I realized that I couldn't stay in the closet forever. It just felt like I was being disingenuous with my family, and I hated feeling like I wasn't being honest. There were little things that I wanted to say but couldn't. There were experiences I had that I couldn't share. There were so many times that I wanted a hug, or to have a good cry and spill all my secrets, but I wouldn't be able to explain what was troubling me without coming out.
And... well, I'm going to come out in a week.
good luck!!
Good luck
Good luck!!!
Wish you the best!!
Good luck ✨💛✨
OBSESSED WITH THE SHIRT. 😍😍
15:13 This is the same as me! I can never talk to a guy without getting a crush on them. About one or two years ago, I developed a crush on a guy (and I mean a HUGE crush). I said some pretty awkward and stupid things, so we stopped talking for a bit. Since then the same thing has happened about 4 times (with the same guy I mention)
That one about not being able to finish with men.. I feel like that's future me writing that 😂😂
Just this last year started realizing im bi, haven't slept with a woman yet so I'm hoping maybe I'll finally be able to finish with a partner then.. if not, guess I am just broken 😅
most women dont finish with men. most women finish with women. the end lol
@@thewillow3457 now comes the problem on gaining the confidence to even talk to women, let alone sleep with one xD
Even if you never finish with anyone, you're not broken
We all need friendships like Clara and June
ok i justt dropped in like 10 confessions now pleeeaase make part 3,4,5,6!!!😇
Watching this with a racing heart because you submitted something hits different 😅 didn't come up though
Lmao not me, whose native language is not English, at 15:04 going; transference!! TRANSFERENCE is the word ur looking for. And yes, thank you Wentworth for increasing my vocabulary
"That's it for this video."
Why though? I got nowhere else to be … ;-)
As long as you’re happy everything else will sort itself out
On the crushes coming back thing, most of my crushes stay gone once they go but there is one that I think I will always have. The first girl I ever loved and dated and I broke up but remained friends. She moved to a different country but comes back every so often to see her parents and we always catch up, and every time we do my feelings come back. All the butterflies and the constantly smiling. Even when I was dating other people at the time who I loved and would never cheat on, I would still get my crush back when we met up for drinks.
part threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
laughing WITH you!!!!!!
I submitted a secret after the last video you did of this, and omg I wasn't prepared for the anxiety I got when you were about to read a new secret. lol I was thinking, ah what if the next one is mine?! lmao
15:34 oof yeah my crushes usually go away but especially when it's a person i have serious feelings for it can take a while and when it hasn't been that long that person could still like change their mind and get with me if they wanted to. uhm but with casual crushes they usually go away. i also have friends i have platonic feelings for and somewhat romantic feelings for? like not enough to persue it but if they wanted to date i would go for it?
Would you run away if the person you have the most serious feelings for confessed to you that she liked you as much as you do? Would you just prefer to keep the others you have light,fleeting feelings for if you were brought up in a conservative family?
@@wisteria1739 uhmm... are you okay?
@@ripmyfictionalfriends I hope so
When you read the my crushes never go away one I said out loud "that's everyone" right before you said that never happens to you! That's me for sure I've still got crushes from 5+ years ago. On Clara and June my uncle and his partner were together for 15 years before his partner died.... And my grandparents thought they were ~roomates~ until they passed 20 years afterward.
4:03
I just got deja vu to MAXIMUM capacity-
I had no idea that anyone shared my situation but here we are-
I usually keep crush remnants that can be easily revived :). We all change with the years, but there's always this 'little something' that will still seem attractive to me. And when it's an ex it's that + the attachment and familiarity that come back. I love my exes :-D
I never made out with my best friend in high school but I definitely thought about it. I was still in the throw’s of compulsory heterosexuality so I really didn’t know what to do with those thoughts and didn’t realize at all those thoughts were fantasies.
13:09 kind of relatable. Women are so intimidating. I'm in the later half of my 20s with very minimal gay experience, so I'm super afraid to look dumb in front of experienced lesbians 😭
My crushes go away I thinkkk- but my one crush definitely came back when I got back into contact with them… but I’m trying to just be friends so that’s funnn😃
4:03 I didn't write that but it is my exact secret lol...also, 15:14 my crushes never go away, either
18:12 "i thought i didn't like porn but recently found out i just didn't like the MEN in porn"
this is the most relatable one from this video 🙂 i thought i was asexual up until i turned 24 and realized i was in love with my (straight) best friend for years 😂 i'm also a gay cliché, i know 🤭
then i came out (only to her and anonymous internet friends). and even tho i'm still confused whether i'm bi or lesbian, the past few years after coming out were totally WORTH IT. i feel so much happier now and it's easier to understand your own emotions 😌💕
"No such thing as a fake queer"
That needs to be on a shirt.
I love how talkative your cat is! So freakin adorable 😻 P.S you are too☺️
u have no idea how quickly I clicked on this video. Love u alayna! Thx for the great vids
I love that shirt thoooooo. U should keep it or make a depop because I bet people (maybe me) would want it
I love your shirts! Please don't get rid of them
Omg, the lingerie online shop one! I hadn't even thought of that 😂 I totally did that too
Transference. Ding ding ding! You got it! Great video!
To the person who wrote the one starting at 12:47...are you me??? Not talking about the first part but the latter when they explained how they are with women and all...
That comment about internalized homophobia got really real. I was exactly the same at 17… didn’t really get fully comfortable with my bisexuality until I was 35.
My crushes don't really go away unless I realize that person is just not who I thought they were. If it's just a compatibility thing between the two of us, I still get super flutters anytime I see or think about anyone who I've had a crush on
15:34
My answer is no, they do not. It sucks too, because once you're rejected, you're stuck liking that person while they live their life, eventually finding their own partner if they are not romance repulsed. My only perk is that I like multiple people, so I develop another crush to focus on, and now I've been rejected by all of them, one of them happily has a boyfriend, and the rest don't like me because either they are only attracted to women (I'm bigender) or they just don't like me.
In short, my crushes do not go away, and you're lucky that yours do.