Some archeologist friends told me about this story, how on many African sites people found knives above the remains of what once was the joist of the house. So they had all sorts of theories why people would place these items there, religous concepts like they surely thought the knife would hold back evil spirits trying to enter from above and so on. So time went on and they actually found some indigenous people doing the same thing and when asked about it they just replied "We place the knives up there so small children won't reach them".
When I was a child, I was a big fan of history channel and I mostly watched them for their documentaries. I thought that "Ancient Aliens" was a show made purely for entertainment value. I thought to myself "I can understand the appeal of alternate history and pseudoscience, even though it provides basically no real knowledge". It took me a while to understand that it was not made and watched under the pretense of being fictional history. It happened around the same time when I realised that the entire network was compromised.
Nobody talking about how Marine Biologist is the Children’s Author’s name? Like how we name our children hunter or tanner? The attention to detail is just insane
"Our evidence suggests that they wore this objects into battle. it does not appear they held much significance as armour, but they appear to have fufilled the double ritual purpose of serving to honour their gods, "Robin Hood" by the great Disney Empire, the church of Mouse, and allowing them to differenciate within their ranks. But so much has been swallowed by time."
@@ChupacabraRex "Many of these warriors were ranked for their battle prowess with what our sources indicate to be Roman Numerals. Rankings such as 'XD' and the highly coveted 'UWU' being some of the most prevalent. They were a proud bunch. When conversing, they would often include their ranking after significant messages to display their position in the hierarchy."
@@asatowolfe "Another thing that has been noticed as being somewhat odd was the amount of heiroglyphic writing in their objects and clothes. Of course, our modern society is fully literary but the idea of a society so anciet being able to read and write seems strange.A propular, prevalent theory is that placing writing on ones clothes or objects signified a higher rank, with those who couldn't placing things such as LOL or LMAO, and "Griddying" as a way to imitate proper writing alongside their many idols of course, and we have been capable of seeing specifc characters repeated over an overagain. Such as "hasbro" and "Macy;s". Scholars think this is likely a magical spell, pehraps the name of some hero or god, which is repeated in order to safegaurd the wearer from harm. Some thought they may signify who made them, but the names don't appear to refer to the human maker, especially ot with how widespread they are. For this reason, the prior theorys this is the major theory and the way of life. Truly Alien.
Obviously this is parody, but can you give us examples of things like this? Previously held beliefs in the profession that turned out to be incredibly inaccurate later down the road?
@@michaelweldon4613 I can’t speak for archeology but there’s A LOT of history in our current history books that is blatantly false. For example, The American Revolution was not a revolution, it was a clandestine operation started by the French Secret Service (The Secret of the King). The French were pulling the strings, the Americans were the puppets. The records of the French Secret Service, while available since 1866, have hardly been used and Britain only opened up its secret archives regarding this war in 2004. Hitler was by no means the great dictator most people believed him to be. The complete collection of all laws and decrees (and who decreed them) were only finished in 2023 (started in 1982). The minutes of all meetings Hitler had from 30 January 1933 up to and including 22 April 1945 are in the archives of the US Army (Counterintelligence Corps). Most historians don’t even know they exist. Hitler gave only broad instructions and didn’t follow up on his orders. The driving force behind the Holocaust was Goebbels and Himmler. An awful lot of Hitler’s orders were never carried out. The details on how strategic bombardments in World War Two worked were only released in 1969 and as far as I know only a single author made use of them. The bomber-streams were mainly a PR thing and most photographs of such streams are staged. The War Diaries of the BEF were also only declassified in 1969. These show the Miracle of Dunkirk is a myth. The British started withdrawing on 15 May 1940 without informing the French and the Belgians. They “didn’t give way to German pressure”, they retreated towards the coast regardless of what the Germans did. The driving force was General Ironside who worked together with Chamberlain (Ironside didn’t trust Churchill). It is not even clear when Churchill was informed. The public statements were all lies, the reports to the French and Belgian High Commands were lies as well, and the maps made public were fakes. Very few authors have made use of these War Diaries and the British government delayed the publication of a book by Admiral Keyes until 1984. The idea most people have of the Holocaust is wrong. There were a whopping 45,000 sites all over Europe within the camp, system. As far as I know, only the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum has published works with the latest research. The idea people have of Stalin is wrong as well. Stalin’s private archives were only opened up in 2014 and as far as I know only a single book has been written making use of this new material. The problem is that it is bloody difficult to change the popular view people have of historical events. The popular view is popular because it makes the general public feel more or less good about themselves (or less bad). The Americans don’t want to know they were French puppets. The British don’t want to know they stabbed their Allies in the back. The people in the West don’t want to know Stalin was by no means the ruthless beast he was made out to be, nor do people want to know Hitler wielded relatively little power (the bugger was lazy as hell). People want to see Hitler ands Stalin as villains, reality doesn’t paint that picture. Europeans don’t want to know about 45,000 sites within the camp system as this means they have to admit support for the Holocaust was massive throughout Europe, they want to blame it all on Hitler and the Nazis (which is why the publications come from the US). Even if an historian writes a book based on the best available sources, there is absolutely no guarantee he/she will find a publisher. Going against the popular version is usually a financial disaster and publishing companies are not interested in that. These are just a couple of examples, plenty more alas. And that is the reason you need to read historical books by professionals who did their homework and used mainly primary sources. Not being very popular, such book are often expensive compared to the incorrect popular works. Always look at the sources used before you buy a book.
of course they do! its a holy book that is worshiped by many religions the world over! In the name of our lord Potter, Alakazam. (or whatever, I dont know any harry potter spell shit...)
@@jormungand72 You're probably thinking of Azkaban, but that's a place, not a spell, so that would actually fit the theme of three thousand years of narrative corruption! 🤣
@@RipplyAnemone67Cthonic deities pantheon who punish evil in their hellish realm of stones and darkness. The father, a bat, create his son from a tragedy and giving it a half human form, a robin. This robin later ascended and being replaced by a younger deity which embodied Price of Blood and yada yada. I think. Oh, the father married a cat, a shadow, and another demigod from distant land. Also, apparently befriended a Sun God from beyond the Sun. 😂😂😂
@@animarium1249I like that idea like all the Batman villains are on one shelf so zsasz is the deity of counting with tally marks, pyg the deity of livestock, calendar man the deity of time, polka dot man the deity of color, penguin the deity of class I guess, riddler the deity of questions, mr freeze the deity of ice, firefly the deity of fire, two face the deity of duality and right and wrong, scarecrow the deity of fear, and kite man the deity of wind.
@@RipplyAnemone67 I think two face is more of whim or cruel fate or impartiality before being corrupted by Chaos they call joker. Oh, ivy for nature freeze for winter.
Honestly FUCK that random guy who's name has been lost to time. Thousands of years in the future, and we still hate him. ... You know... like... whoever it was, anyway.
@devlinmcguire7543 nothing was actually lost in the burning of the library of Alexanderia, everything in the library either were or had copies, when it actually burnt down it was already mostly out of use and all the most valuable texts had been moved to other libraries and what was in there like I mentioned were either copies or had copies elsewhere. If you wanna get mad about burning libraries then you have European colonizers destroying Aztec and Mayan texts, so much so we know extremely little about cultures that were alive an thriving just a few hundred years ago.
If an archaeologist says something is for rituals, it either means "this is obviously a sex toy but we're not allowed to say that" or "we have no idea what the hell this is"
I like how everything is taken way out of proportion and the mundane is given theological weight, until "That's Dobby. From Harry Potter." No misunderstanding here. Because of course the one thing that would endure the test of time is freakin Harry Potter.
This sounds like an affirmation of the scriptural significance of harry Potter "Of course, beyond all things, the holy text of the chamber of secrets remains!"
Your university isn't even that prestigious. Tired of you hedera helix league kids thinking you're all that just because your parents paid enough cyber credits to get you in.
This 100% reminded me of one of my favorite books from ages ago (1979). It's called "Motel of the Mysteries" by David Macaulay. It's not a novel or anything, just a big, hilarious book with drawn pictures about 2000 years in the future when archaeologists find an old, shitty buried motel. There's a picture of a skeleton on his motel bed, who was obviously watching TV when he died. But the archaeologists surmise it's a sacred burial chamber, the TV was an altar, etc. The pictures of the guys in the bathroom killed me. One of them dons the toilet seat around his neck, convinced it was part of an ancient burial rite. Too funny. Loved it.
Near to this "Göl'bunki Tumbo" is the place of my ancestors, "Googisney Wastes". My ancestors were great fur-warriors, some of the greatest of their time. They wielded purple swords known as "knotted blades" forged by the fabled blacksmith Bad Dragon. My family sadly fell into the sands of time when they were overtaken by the savage gooners of the wastes. The last remaining preserved body of my grewtest ancestor still remains however, he was hiding an arsenal of family heirloom knotted blades in his r*ct*m. Truly, he was a hero.
"They had brilliant techniques of preservation, these people didn't waste a thing" line was underrated. A reference to plastics that went over a lot of people's heads
they would also bless each other with the phrase "saul goodman", although ancient alien theorists speculate that this phrase originated from the latin term "it is all good, man".
This makes me think about how if archaeologists could figure out the types of chemicals we all keep under our sink without knowing what their purpose was, they’d think we were making bombs
However, these battle suits had also come at an additional cost, as the wearer would typically begin to loose their mind, or so we are beginning to believe , due to the fact that people of these battle suits would often times loose connection with friends and relatives, most commonly observed within father figures. We speculate that this could be a result of mental insanity, but we can only speculate for now. We also believe that a cause for the insanity could be due to that the wearer’s brains might become of how these suits very closely resembled animals, but again, this is purely speculation.
because in the year 5000, they revere the messiah called Harry James Potter and Anime Mouse pads are fertility idols that men and women pray upon to receive the gift of children from their God called Dumbledore.
I want to see a sequel to this where they defrost someone from the 21st century and they explain all of this stuff, and the archeologists are so confused and concerned
@@mariobudal8850 I have never heard that term either, and I have only ever seen one person wearing pin badges on their plastic flip flops. once. in over 30 years... I think most of these fads and slang are just a psyop and no one actually, unironically; does/says any of it.
I'd guess it is more seen like the Illiad by homer or some other piece of ancient literature. If any book is preserved this long it is HP, it has millions of copies sold
They had to specify who Dobby was, so I'm going with the theory that it's ancient literature that most people know of, but few people have actually read.
@@theunicornenthusiast7194 it's basically a reference to an actual site called gobekli tepe, which is the oldest archeological site at almost 12000 years old
@@theunicornenthusiast7194 there's an archaeological site, one of the first evidences of permanent structures built by humans, at a place called göbekli tepe in turkey. Super interesting site, seems to have been a giant religious complex, meaning that the first big thing we humans built was probably mostly a temple and you wouldn't live there year round. Göbunki tumbo is just a fun restructuring of it 😂
I love the part where the "high stakes" of these shows is like the most mundane shit possible lmao its too accurate 😂 "We lost track of the rover" Intense music and panic ensues lmao
So, vaginas don't exist in the future? But the editors blurred it because we in this reality obviously know what it is, but if this is from their perspective, why would they blur it if they thought it was meat? Maybe they knew idk
That’s 100% what’s going on, we do that now! Ancient people weren’t very dissimilar they just did things differently. Oh what because everything in our world has right angles and is made of plastic we’re ‘advanced’?
When they described the “idols of faith” I was fully expecting some horrible anime figurines in jars. “We assumed the glass casing around the idols was to protect them, but recent discoveries of fluid inside the glass suggests this was a ritual, a sacrifice of some kind to these beings. Truly a fascinating culture.”
Nah, they'll come across a video of a barbecue and think "This appears to have been a sacrifice to "Uncle Sam", a mythical patron dieity of folk hero of the precosuour state in th great missisipian river."
This Rainbow Dash deity is now considered as a sort of fertility goddess after recent analysis of residues found in the glass jar that contained one of her idols.
It is said that Pickle Rick was once a mortal man, but that he transformed himself in order to escape a harrowing ritual called "therapy". We know scant little about this "therapy", only that it is written that many a man would rather cast himself off a bridge than undergo it.
These ancient religious totems seem ti suggest that they worshipped some sort of orange feline deity known as gahr field, perhaps a god of gluttony, it also seems as though they would give offerings of a native dish known as lasagna in hopes of the deity blessing them with a good harvest
Me with my collection of funko pops. 😂 " So many deitys for example the many alternate statues of the spider person, we can only presume he was a god and these were his children"
Based on how the History Channel's Vikings ended up, I 100% expect the History Channel to end up filming 5 people screwing in my room and claiming it to be a historically accurate reenactment of a typical lazy Tuesday afternoon for me.
@@zacharyphilbeck8650 Man I can't even coherently remember what happened after the first two seasons. It all just kind of devolves into a montage of treachery, symbolism and hallucinations.
"The amount of time that these people spend indoors must have indicated a terrible hardship with nature some kind of famine or a complete disaster like nuclear war. We are still studying what must have happened to the outside world for them all to stay inside so much back then. Truly a culture that lived in dire times"
Sort of. I’d like to go out more but it feels like there’s a $18 tax just for walking outside where I live. I wish there were more places to go to where you don’t have to spend money.
No, clearly this man, this king, was an alien. He was clearly blessed with an abundance of wealth upon his feet and his throne room was adorned with all manner of holy icons to which his greatness cast over like an eclipse. We can only speculate his greatness was so profound that the reason we do not yet know his name was because there was no need to write it down, his name so great it was common knowledge.
I wrote a script for a college course a few months ago with an almost identical premise because I was specifically inspired by your tone. Imagine my surprise when I found this on my recommended today. “Archeologists 3000 years in the future explore ruins in Florida, mistaking modern phenomena as culture and religion” perfectly summarizes both scripts, so it’s cool to see the different directions we took. Incredible work as per usual!
@@hiepdoshin7846 This was the prompt I submitted to my professor: "Archeologists thousands of years into the future are digging through the ruins of the once great civilization known as Boca Raton, where they find the written question “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Believing it to be some kind of prophecy, they take their discoveries to the masses, where the question is tested by scientists and discussed by philosophers. When they discover the answer is “to get to the other side”, a portal to another dimension opens up near the planet, and a futuristic race of chicken people emerge to wipe out this civilization for knowing too much, just as they did to the last one." A lot of the comedic heightening relied on referencing the evolution of modern trends. There was even one thing that just stayed the same and everyone knew about still, like their Dobby situation. I had the main premise rely on making an unfunny joke funny through an absurd level of importance, but their main premise relied on the documentary aspect of their skit.
@@hiepdoshin7846 The pitch I sent my professor was essentially this: "Archeologists thousands of years into the future are digging through the ruins of the once great civilization known as Boca Raton, where they find the written question “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Believing it to be some kind of prophecy, they take their discoveries to the masses, where the question is tested by scientists and discussed by philosophers. When they discover the answer is “to get to the other side”, a portal to another dimension opens up near the planet, and a futuristic race of chicken people emerge to wipe out this civilization for knowing too much, just as they did to the last one." Mine had a different goal, that being to make an unfunny joke into a funny one through extreme heightening, and the setting came from that goal. When making fun of modern day, I put more focus into behaviors and characterizations, whereas WWG's version plays far more into specific references and modern slang. Both ideas had really cool and varying outcomes even with the many similarities woven into them!
Except Göbekli tepe is in Turkey and turkey is not an island. Well oceans may sink but I refuse to believe a goober from Turkey having enough money to buy all of those merches and do not have any tea or Turkish coffee packs lying around somewhere.
@@berwynsigns4115 I mean yeah I was talking about this place being in Göbekli tepe instead of the person who named this being shitfaced drunk so you are right.
For still being awake at 01:30 am when I have to be up at 05:00 am. I totally deserve this popping up in my recommended content. That will teach me!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
They probably found the full book because it is so wide spread. The anime part was most interesting since anime is a digital form and they lost almost every digital form so where did they learn it was anime?
@@exosproudmamabear558 Surviving merch There's unironical weebs out there with Doomsday bunkers and instead of classic literature they just have manga and anime and videogames lol.
I do wonder how the advent of the internet will change historical research thousands of years from now. Every aspect of humanity is now recorded in an insane amount of detail, but at the same time, to trawl through and make sense of all that information would just be overwhelming.
@@queball685a lot of the internet is already deteriorating over time (especially with links), like most of history the loss of the majority of human information is unavoidable. Honestly probably for the best
@@queball685digital stuff doesnt live well and people historically take little to no care of physical ones with little expection(and those go through dozens of edits)
![ปฏิเสธไม่ไหว (Crush on you) - LIPTA feat. No One Else [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NBw1jF342vw/mqdefault.jpg)
What else will archeologists be SHOCKED to find in your room, 3000 years from now?
The piss drawer
A poster of a minecraft tree (Oak Tree)
2 broken digimon x
1 broken digimon 20th
My overpriced school textbooks
A furby still functioning off of it's original batteries.
Some archeologist friends told me about this story, how on many African sites people found knives above the remains of what once was the joist of the house. So they had all sorts of theories why people would place these items there, religous concepts like they surely thought the knife would hold back evil spirits trying to enter from above and so on. So time went on and they actually found some indigenous people doing the same thing and when asked about it they just replied "We place the knives up there so small children won't reach them".
Coomon sense is always same whatever era is.
The Forest of Skund
A ritual as old as time.
A yes the ancient practice of keeping tthings high to keep it lf the kids
And here I thought they were putting them up there because they liked how they looked, like some Proto reddit mod with a samurai sword.
"This sock is perfectly fossilized". Could this be the new roman concrete?
No, that's classic example of a early version of J'ake'Crete...
more like spartan concrete if ya know ya know
@@insanitysymphony9175 I'm going to yell "THIS IS SPARTA!" next time I'm about to...
lmao
😂
“‘Maurine Biologist’
-Children’s author”
is one of the best representations of ancient aliens expert credibility misdirections I’ve seen
It’s frankly beautiful
Boneoligist
"President"
This is somehow *less* fictional than some actual history channel shows.
Real
When I was a child, I was a big fan of history channel and I mostly watched them for their documentaries. I thought that "Ancient Aliens" was a show made purely for entertainment value. I thought to myself "I can understand the appeal of alternate history and pseudoscience, even though it provides basically no real knowledge". It took me a while to understand that it was not made and watched under the pretense of being fictional history.
It happened around the same time when I realised that the entire network was compromised.
I can't believe "finding hitler" was a real show.
@@hollowman9410I miss when the educational channels actually had education. Now it’s all nonsense and reality tv
The History channel, what happens when Rupert Murdoch (also owns Fox and Sun News) buys a channel and makes money making a top priority.
I love how they completely understand what a "Busty Anime Mousepad" is but don't know what "legal trouble" when it comes to Saul means.
Law is temporary, anime is forever. :P
Legal fees are passing, tits are eternal
Im surpised they didnt call it a "fertility idol".
They have boobs and cartoons in the future, don't they?
a fertility goddess lol
Nobody talking about how Marine Biologist is the Children’s Author’s name? Like how we name our children hunter or tanner? The attention to detail is just insane
oh i didn't get that reference at first I just read both titles and was like "ah he does two things"
Who tf names their child tanner??
I like it when that happens or for example when the fishing channel has someone called fisher
rinona wider
I can only think of john tanner from driver san francisco for some reason
edit: actually he appears in most of the games
"A Warrior Culture" with the fursuit literally had me choking from laughing. This whole video was golden.
"Our evidence suggests that they wore this objects into battle. it does not appear they held much significance as armour, but they appear to have fufilled the double ritual purpose of serving to honour their gods, "Robin Hood" by the great Disney Empire, the church of Mouse, and allowing them to differenciate within their ranks. But so much has been swallowed by time."
@@ChupacabraRex "Many of these warriors were ranked for their battle prowess with what our sources indicate to be Roman Numerals. Rankings such as 'XD' and the highly coveted 'UWU' being some of the most prevalent.
They were a proud bunch. When conversing, they would often include their ranking after significant messages to display their position in the hierarchy."
@@asatowolfe "Another thing that has been noticed as being somewhat odd was the amount of heiroglyphic writing in their objects and clothes. Of course, our modern society is fully literary but the idea of a society so anciet being able to read and write seems strange.A propular, prevalent theory is that placing writing on ones clothes or objects signified a higher rank, with those who couldn't placing things such as LOL or LMAO, and "Griddying" as a way to imitate proper writing alongside their many idols of course, and we have been capable of seeing specifc characters repeated over an overagain. Such as "hasbro" and "Macy;s". Scholars think this is likely a magical spell, pehraps the name of some hero or god, which is repeated in order to safegaurd the wearer from harm. Some thought they may signify who made them, but the names don't appear to refer to the human maker, especially ot with how widespread they are. For this reason, the prior theorys this is the major theory and the way of life. Truly Alien.
Elite Aztec warriors wore fur suits.
The reasoning makes sense
He ain't wrong, though, lol.
👋Hey Professional Archaeologist here, this made everyone on my crew cry tears of laughter. 10000% spot on, keep it up boys!
I bet the "he was probably a king" thing was so relatable
Wow. U took anthro and archeology courses? Ur a proooooo
Obviously this is parody, but can you give us examples of things like this? Previously held beliefs in the profession that turned out to be incredibly inaccurate later down the road?
@@michaelweldon4613 I can’t speak for archeology but there’s A LOT of history in our current history books that is blatantly false. For example, The American Revolution was not a revolution, it was a clandestine operation started by the French Secret Service (The Secret of the King). The French were pulling the strings, the Americans were the puppets. The records of the French Secret Service, while available since 1866, have hardly been used and Britain only opened up its secret archives regarding this war in 2004.
Hitler was by no means the great dictator most people believed him to be. The complete collection of all laws and decrees (and who decreed them) were only finished in 2023 (started in 1982). The minutes of all meetings Hitler had from 30 January 1933 up to and including 22 April 1945 are in the archives of the US Army (Counterintelligence Corps). Most historians don’t even know they exist. Hitler gave only broad instructions and didn’t follow up on his orders. The driving force behind the Holocaust was Goebbels and Himmler. An awful lot of Hitler’s orders were never carried out.
The details on how strategic bombardments in World War Two worked were only released in 1969 and as far as I know only a single author made use of them. The bomber-streams were mainly a PR thing and most photographs of such streams are staged.
The War Diaries of the BEF were also only declassified in 1969. These show the Miracle of Dunkirk is a myth. The British started withdrawing on 15 May 1940 without informing the French and the Belgians. They “didn’t give way to German pressure”, they retreated towards the coast regardless of what the Germans did. The driving force was General Ironside who worked together with Chamberlain (Ironside didn’t trust Churchill). It is not even clear when Churchill was informed. The public statements were all lies, the reports to the French and Belgian High Commands were lies as well, and the maps made public were fakes. Very few authors have made use of these War Diaries and the British government delayed the publication of a book by Admiral Keyes until 1984.
The idea most people have of the Holocaust is wrong. There were a whopping 45,000 sites all over Europe within the camp, system. As far as I know, only the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum has published works with the latest research.
The idea people have of Stalin is wrong as well. Stalin’s private archives were only opened up in 2014 and as far as I know only a single book has been written making use of this new material.
The problem is that it is bloody difficult to change the popular view people have of historical events. The popular view is popular because it makes the general public feel more or less good about themselves (or less bad).
The Americans don’t want to know they were French puppets. The British don’t want to know they stabbed their Allies in the back. The people in the West don’t want to know Stalin was by no means the ruthless beast he was made out to be, nor do people want to know Hitler wielded relatively little power (the bugger was lazy as hell). People want to see Hitler ands Stalin as villains, reality doesn’t paint that picture. Europeans don’t want to know about 45,000 sites within the camp system as this means they have to admit support for the Holocaust was massive throughout Europe, they want to blame it all on Hitler and the Nazis (which is why the publications come from the US).
Even if an historian writes a book based on the best available sources, there is absolutely no guarantee he/she will find a publisher. Going against the popular version is usually a financial disaster and publishing companies are not interested in that.
These are just a couple of examples, plenty more alas.
And that is the reason you need to read historical books by professionals who did their homework and used mainly primary sources. Not being very popular, such book are often expensive compared to the incorrect popular works. Always look at the sources used before you buy a book.
@@michaelweldon4613I mean this is a parody of the History Channel, not actual archeology & history.
3:00 I like how they still know what Harry Potter is
of course they do! its a holy book that is worshiped by many religions the world over!
In the name of our lord Potter, Alakazam.
(or whatever, I dont know any harry potter spell shit...)
@@jormungand72 pointing a stick at someone and shouting avada cadava is the spell of gesture!
@@jormungand72 this is the 5th time this week that i've seen someone say random crap and it happens to be a fucking pokemon
@@jormungand72 You're probably thinking of Azkaban, but that's a place, not a spell, so that would actually fit the theme of three thousand years of narrative corruption! 🤣
"The trickster deity, the god of science, demigods even."
That killed me
What will they think of all the other Batman rouges
There were at least three iron men
@@RipplyAnemone67Cthonic deities pantheon who punish evil in their hellish realm of stones and darkness. The father, a bat, create his son from a tragedy and giving it a half human form, a robin.
This robin later ascended and being replaced by a younger deity which embodied Price of Blood and yada yada. I think. Oh, the father married a cat, a shadow, and another demigod from distant land. Also, apparently befriended a Sun God from beyond the Sun. 😂😂😂
@@animarium1249I like that idea like all the Batman villains are on one shelf so zsasz is the deity of counting with tally marks, pyg the deity of livestock, calendar man the deity of time, polka dot man the deity of color, penguin the deity of class I guess, riddler the deity of questions, mr freeze the deity of ice, firefly the deity of fire, two face the deity of duality and right and wrong, scarecrow the deity of fear, and kite man the deity of wind.
@@RipplyAnemone67 I think two face is more of whim or cruel fate or impartiality before being corrupted by Chaos they call joker. Oh, ivy for nature freeze for winter.
Three-thousand years from now, we're still pissed about the Library of Alexandria.
It's pronounced AlexAHHNdria 😄
@@lexprontera8325 leviosAah
Honestly FUCK that random guy who's name has been lost to time. Thousands of years in the future, and we still hate him. ... You know... like... whoever it was, anyway.
@@devlinmcguire7543Actuallu that guy burned a temple down, not the library. And Kaz Rowe has a video about how the library didn’t really burn down.
@devlinmcguire7543 nothing was actually lost in the burning of the library of Alexanderia, everything in the library either were or had copies, when it actually burnt down it was already mostly out of use and all the most valuable texts had been moved to other libraries and what was in there like I mentioned were either copies or had copies elsewhere. If you wanna get mad about burning libraries then you have European colonizers destroying Aztec and Mayan texts, so much so we know extremely little about cultures that were alive an thriving just a few hundred years ago.
Freaking incredible production LOLLLL
Dude I love your vids
How did this comment go unnoticed
Noone was here
NAH a random jaden appearance
Just 4 replies? Sheesh. This is jaden williams.. This is wild.
Archaeologists whenever they find something they have no idea about - "This seems to have had some ritualistic connotation"
No joke, they use “ intrument for fertility rituals " for ancient dildos
If an archaeologist says something is for rituals, it either means "this is obviously a sex toy but we're not allowed to say that" or "we have no idea what the hell this is"
@@reda84. Need to see the Roman sex toys asap😂
@@tegathemenacetheres stone dildos older than organised society
Roman sex toy naming "Femboy"
Me play modern version it toy and...well,it fck cool toy
I like how everything is taken way out of proportion and the mundane is given theological weight, until "That's Dobby. From Harry Potter." No misunderstanding here. Because of course the one thing that would endure the test of time is freakin Harry Potter.
Well duh, after the election of the immortal God emperor, Magius, it is mandatory to read it in your wizard literature class.
It would figure, unfortunately
This sounds like an affirmation of the scriptural significance of harry Potter
"Of course, beyond all things, the holy text of the chamber of secrets remains!"
😂
thank you for explaining the joke
I love the “Amazulu Desert” and “Googisney Wastes” because yeah… let’s start naming horrible disasters after the massive corporations that cause them.
The fur suit being described as an example of “Warrior Culture” got me good😂 This is easily my favorite video on the internet
same.
and "fursuit" is one word.
I will never be able to look at Aztec eagle and jaguar warriors the same way again 🙃
@@AmunDeus well, that were allways their warrior fursuits. but tech was no so developed as now, so it was not a fullsuit.
🤓 @@eduardostapenko6808
@@AmunDeus😂😂 omg it all makes sense now.
Omg, I graduated from Hubbubard Uni! Really great to see my school get representation on the news. GO BLEAGLES!
I hate Hubbubard Uni. I went to Hurdurburgur.
@@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit just mad your giddleball team lost EVERY game against ours.
@@LittleN645 you're just saying that because your founder killed Grargl the school florl!
Your university isn't even that prestigious. Tired of you hedera helix league kids thinking you're all that just because your parents paid enough cyber credits to get you in.
My ex used to go to Hurdurburgur, did they still have the spaghetti gardens when you were there, or was that after the Fountain Day?
I love how the guy's room shows he was a husler's university graduate, a gooner, a furry and anime and pop culture lover
Average floridian
This 100% reminded me of one of my favorite books from ages ago (1979). It's called "Motel of the Mysteries" by David Macaulay. It's not a novel or anything, just a big, hilarious book with drawn pictures about 2000 years in the future when archaeologists find an old, shitty buried motel. There's a picture of a skeleton on his motel bed, who was obviously watching TV when he died. But the archaeologists surmise it's a sacred burial chamber, the TV was an altar, etc. The pictures of the guys in the bathroom killed me. One of them dons the toilet seat around his neck, convinced it was part of an ancient burial rite. Too funny. Loved it.
i remember that book
Hilarious
I absolutely love that book! I bought another copy a couple years back. Don't regret it at all.
When archaelogists find something they are clueless about they just label it "ritual artifact with posible religious meaning".
I was thinking of just that when watching this!
"They would invoke him or call upon Saul's name in dire need" I'm dying 💀💀
Who you gonna call?
@@iansragingbileduct Ghostbusters duh
Bravo, Vince. He truly made his mark on history.
So far, that’s pretty accurate
Chapulin colorado type beat
Near to this "Göl'bunki Tumbo" is the place of my ancestors, "Googisney Wastes". My ancestors were great fur-warriors, some of the greatest of their time. They wielded purple swords known as "knotted blades" forged by the fabled blacksmith Bad Dragon. My family sadly fell into the sands of time when they were overtaken by the savage gooners of the wastes. The last remaining preserved body of my grewtest ancestor still remains however, he was hiding an arsenal of family heirloom knotted blades in his r*ct*m. Truly, he was a hero.
what is this sh1+ I am freaking crying
You have a proud heritage, I goon your ancestor
"They had brilliant techniques of preservation, these people didn't waste a thing" line was underrated. A reference to plastics that went over a lot of people's heads
Didn’t even realize that 😂 we waste almost religiously
Plastics? Thought it was talking about the fleshlight thinking it was an actual persevered vag
Plastic is a Waste Product from refining petroleum.
@@King-gr3zv*athiestically"
@@Darkest_matter religiously: with consistent and conscientious regularity. It has nothing to do with actual religion
for anybody reading this 3000 years in the future, have a nice jelque
Goon long and goon hard, people of the future! May Walter and Jesse favor you eternally
Thank you fellow jelqler
For future generations, regards from Sawcon!
Yeah jelque it up goonies
Jelq
“They would invoke him or call upon Sauls name in times of DIRE need”
they would also bless each other with the phrase "saul goodman", although ancient alien theorists speculate that this phrase originated from the latin term "it is all good, man".
@@jormungand72 that would be the first time ancient aliens theorist are actually right about something haha
Can't wait for future civilisations to find the piss drawer
That means Mom won't find it, WIN
Unexpected Jenn melon
What about the poop knife?
History channel found the piss drawer 😔
3,000 year old piss crystals
This makes me think about how if archaeologists could figure out the types of chemicals we all keep under our sink without knowing what their purpose was, they’d think we were making bombs
Saying 'they'd think' implies they're wrong
Thing is you gotta figure out which chemicals you need when you want to make one
@@TheRealRusDaddy The trick to mixing cleaning chemicals is to be yourself and have fun with it
"A society that casually committed warcrimes on itself!"- history channel 3k years in the future
You’re not?
I would LOVE a full 40 minute version of this
"AI prompt artist's rendering" LOL absolute legends, you never miss!
I can't tell if this is a man carrying thing reference or not
@@heathbrideau6640 He never references, the absolute man.
@@LunarOverdrive They never gun, the absolute wizards!
The funny thing is I'm 90% certain several of the other shots were also AI generated
@@ryanmccampbell7 More like 100% certain, but in a weird way this is one of the few cases where it fits the surrounding stupidity.
2:45 It’s theorized that these battle suits were reserved for only those of great wealth.
100%
as a poor furry I can confirm, only those of highest riches could afford such battle outfits
However, these battle suits had also come at an additional cost, as the wearer would typically begin to loose their mind, or so we are beginning to believe , due to the fact that people of these battle suits would often times loose connection with friends and relatives, most commonly observed within father figures. We speculate that this could be a result of mental insanity, but we can only speculate for now.
We also believe that a cause for the insanity could be due to that the wearer’s brains might become of how these suits very closely resembled animals, but again, this is purely speculation.
@@Wilson_Does_Stuff sounds wery accurate... did you tried it on, or something?!
@@eduardostapenko6808 no
I was doubting the authenticity of this because of the lack of anime brands, until at 3:37
I love the fact that not everything is completely lost the time. They still know what Harry Potter and anime mouse pads are
Harry Potter and Anime mouse pads are eternal!
Im surprised they didn't call it fertility goddess
They don't understand the house they entered but they remember dobby
because in the year 5000, they revere the messiah called Harry James Potter and Anime Mouse pads are fertility idols that men and women pray upon to receive the gift of children from their God called Dumbledore.
@@f.b.l.9813 his wand doesn't perform that spell
The spoof is so good it feels like watching the real thing.
Fr what if our ancestors were able to take a glimpse into what our perspective was about them, they'd have a laugh too 😂
Fr tho this was like equally interesting as it was funny
Ik it’s so goon!!!
I want to see a sequel to this where they defrost someone from the 21st century and they explain all of this stuff, and the archeologists are so confused and concerned
"this man....was clearly a king."
*shows an ancient Croc with hella Jibbitz*
dead
“Just like this flower” killed me lol
Damn... "Jibbitz", huh? How have I never seen this before? In stores, malls... no where. I had to Google it. Looks like such an 80s type of quirk.
@@mariobudal8850 I have never heard that term either, and I have only ever seen one person wearing pin badges on their plastic flip flops. once. in over 30 years...
I think most of these fads and slang are just a psyop and no one actually, unironically; does/says any of it.
@@jormungand72 jibbitz are little accessory things for crocs
“This man was…clearly a king” that one took me out 😂
0:44 looks like a last minute cosplay of Gadot from Ace Attorney.
This bit could go on for 100 episodes and still not get old
@WizardsWithGuns I *_TRIPLE_* DOG DARE YAAAA!!!
It's amazing how they can do that.
I like how there is implications that somehow, Harry Potter still remains prominent in the human zeitgeist 3k years into the future.
I'd guess it is more seen like the Illiad by homer or some other piece of ancient literature. If any book is preserved this long it is HP, it has millions of copies sold
And "busty anime mousepads" too.
I mean, several Greek gods still have cultural significance
They had to specify who Dobby was, so I'm going with the theory that it's ancient literature that most people know of, but few people have actually read.
The Bible, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter will survive if somehow humanity dies and a new civilization rises
Mf for 4:01 minutes i just watched the whole video cuz i misspelt "found your mom" instead of "Room"😭
you really need to read more 😭(relatable)
@@originalyrandom6471 😭
I can only read that in the voice from regular show
0:54 "The researchers have uncovered a scroll, what may be a diploma of high academic acheivment" I DIED LOL 😂🤣
I was laughing so hard
The fact that it’s Andrew Tate stuff is even better, just straight comedy
"Göl'bunki Tumbo" being considered aptly named is also hilarious. Every thing here is just golden
it's gobekli tepe but 3000 years later. but this warrior culture had anime and baja blasts. gods of science, and demigods even
I kinda don't get the Göl'bunki Tumbo name, can someone explain?
@@theunicornenthusiast7194 it's basically a reference to an actual site called gobekli tepe, which is the oldest archeological site at almost 12000 years old
@@theunicornenthusiast7194 replying so i can get notified to the funny answer
@@theunicornenthusiast7194 there's an archaeological site, one of the first evidences of permanent structures built by humans, at a place called göbekli tepe in turkey. Super interesting site, seems to have been a giant religious complex, meaning that the first big thing we humans built was probably mostly a temple and you wouldn't live there year round. Göbunki tumbo is just a fun restructuring of it 😂
I love the part where the "high stakes" of these shows is like the most mundane shit possible lmao its too accurate 😂
"We lost track of the rover"
Intense music and panic ensues lmao
The cinematography in this is insane omg
The fact that the baja blast cup and busty mousepad are casually mentioned implies they are nothing out-of-the-ordinary in the future
Or perhaps these will become so common during our times that they're common finds in any future archaeological dig sites.
"Anime is eternal"
the accuracy of the editing and sfx is SENDING ME
I love the insinuation that they know exactly what anime, mousepads, and Baja blasts are
theyve been studying 2020 era culture for a long time
And Harry Potter
They read the manga
That invention survived time and made it to the 51st century people still using it
Some things stick around
"This sock is perfectly fossilized" glossed over had me dying
I 100% believe this is exactly how ancient people would feel if they could watch the "modern" history channel.
the most horrifying part about this is the implication harry potter is still relevant 3000 years into the future
In the future JK rowling has taken over the world
At least they still have anime and Baja Blast.
Zippa de doo dah
Bibbidy bime
It'll outlast cancel culture
Over a thousand times
The fact that's relevant today is already a concerning indicator
@@XxThatGuyOverTherex1 then it's a dystopia
"this sock is perfectly fossilized" bro...
God I love this. The “canned meat” fleshlight got me
What is the flower?
Im also here to inquire about the rose.
@@stephhhie17 Suction vibe for women.
@@SaltyMaud Thank you, although that raises the question, what was it doing in this room if it is for women?
So, vaginas don't exist in the future? But the editors blurred it because we in this reality obviously know what it is, but if this is from their perspective, why would they blur it if they thought it was meat? Maybe they knew idk
I love that even after 3000 years from now the library of Alexandria was not forgotten
nothing will be forgotten after now, technology is too advanced and everything is documented
I am gonna guess wikipedia somehow made it through the storm of time
The mannerisms and everything are so on point. I love this it’s so funny
they just seem like they arent that more advanced than us but like to look down on us lol
I'm proud of you. Good job
@@zmmmzmmmz do you think they'll ever unlock the hidden mystery
The same could possibly be argued for how we look at different peoples of history, honestly.
That’s 100% what’s going on, we do that now! Ancient people weren’t very dissimilar they just did things differently. Oh what because everything in our world has right angles and is made of plastic we’re ‘advanced’?
@@tuttosalve8352 honestly idk much history except recent history (19th-20th century), idk much about that
"Their entire class system was centered around the hording of symbolic totems or trinkets"
He's not wrong!
When archeologists uncover my room all they will find are trinkets
@@frownyclowny6955unfortunately your stuff will be gone by the time our civilization is buried
I love all the over the top tech sound effects and zooms/computer images during the intro
When they described the “idols of faith” I was fully expecting some horrible anime figurines in jars.
“We assumed the glass casing around the idols was to protect them, but recent discoveries of fluid inside the glass suggests this was a ritual, a sacrifice of some kind to these beings. Truly a fascinating culture.”
"we believe it to be a fertility ritual, by offering liquids to the idol they were able to get higher odds of reproduction"
Nah, they'll come across a video of a barbecue and think "This appears to have been a sacrifice to "Uncle Sam", a mythical patron dieity of folk hero of the precosuour state in th great missisipian river."
Would be funny if they were Elden Ring figurines, and the Malenia figure has sticky fluids on it.
This Rainbow Dash deity is now considered as a sort of fertility goddess after recent analysis of residues found in the glass jar that contained one of her idols.
“Have a nice Jelq”
Thanks brother I will now
I love how the only things they recognize is Toby Harry Potter and a busty anime mouse pad
The ancient texts often spoke of the forbidden love that Larry and Pickle Rick shared. So glad to see them immortalized.
I need a poster of that asap
It is said that Pickle Rick was once a mortal man, but that he transformed himself in order to escape a harrowing ritual called "therapy".
We know scant little about this "therapy", only that it is written that many a man would rather cast himself off a bridge than undergo it.
These ancient religious totems seem ti suggest that they worshipped some sort of orange feline deity known as gahr field, perhaps a god of gluttony, it also seems as though they would give offerings of a native dish known as lasagna in hopes of the deity blessing them with a good harvest
They just ignore the dead guy at 0:56 lol 😂
Gooned too hard. RIP 🪦
Half life 2 Fast Zombie corpse jumpscare
@@thetman0068Stayed hard for daddy Tate
Me with my collection of funko pops. 😂 " So many deitys for example the many alternate statues of the spider person, we can only presume he was a god and these were his children"
"Maurine Biologist: Children's teacher" really got me
Name: Maurine Biologist
Occupation: Children’s Author
That bit sealed the deal for me.
I would watch a 24-hour marathon of this.
Based on how the History Channel's Vikings ended up, I 100% expect the History Channel to end up filming 5 people screwing in my room and claiming it to be a historically accurate reenactment of a typical lazy Tuesday afternoon for me.
Viking’s kind of sucked. First two seasons were really good but it was clear there was heavy political bias
@@zacharyphilbeck8650 Man I can't even coherently remember what happened after the first two seasons. It all just kind of devolves into a montage of treachery, symbolism and hallucinations.
if they did this in my room they would find the bones and the video would be unsuitable for youtube
3:00 i like how this implies that of all things, harry potter is still the same after 3000 years
I mean we know about the Odyssey and Epic of Gilgamesh to this day.
Maybe it'll be our civilization's Iliad
@@EricT01f
@@sasstsuma1467 The worst timeline
'Maurine Biologist- Children's Author'
why did this get me 😂
There's a lot to appreciate in this video, but I want to highlight how good they did the "History Channel Voice"
The cadence was on point
"One folk hero by the name of Saul..."
That's peak history channel cadence and voice lmao
"The amount of time that these people spend indoors must have indicated a terrible hardship with nature some kind of famine or a complete disaster like nuclear war. We are still studying what must have happened to the outside world for them all to stay inside so much back then. Truly a culture that lived in dire times"
Sort of. I’d like to go out more but it feels like there’s a $18 tax just for walking outside where I live. I wish there were more places to go to where you don’t have to spend money.
they should've called upon saul's name, smh
I'm mostly happy to know that other people are now saddled with the knowledge of jelqing.
the modern world doesn't deserve this channel.
"As ancient asteonaut theorists contend, this room was most likely made with the help of.... aliens..."
No, clearly this man, this king, was an alien. He was clearly blessed with an abundance of wealth upon his feet and his throne room was adorned with all manner of holy icons to which his greatness cast over like an eclipse. We can only speculate his greatness was so profound that the reason we do not yet know his name was because there was no need to write it down, his name so great it was common knowledge.
I badly want a series of this
I wrote a script for a college course a few months ago with an almost identical premise because I was specifically inspired by your tone. Imagine my surprise when I found this on my recommended today.
“Archeologists 3000 years in the future explore ruins in Florida, mistaking modern phenomena as culture and religion” perfectly summarizes both scripts, so it’s cool to see the different directions we took. Incredible work as per usual!
What was the direction you took?
@@hiepdoshin7846 This was the prompt I submitted to my professor:
"Archeologists thousands of years into the future are digging through the ruins of the once great civilization known as Boca Raton, where they find the written question “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Believing it to be some kind of prophecy, they take their discoveries to the masses, where the question is tested by scientists and discussed by philosophers. When they discover the answer is “to get to the other side”, a portal to another dimension opens up near the planet, and a futuristic race of chicken people emerge to wipe out this civilization for knowing too much, just as they did to the last one."
A lot of the comedic heightening relied on referencing the evolution of modern trends. There was even one thing that just stayed the same and everyone knew about still, like their Dobby situation. I had the main premise rely on making an unfunny joke funny through an absurd level of importance, but their main premise relied on the documentary aspect of their skit.
@@hiepdoshin7846 The pitch I sent my professor was essentially this:
"Archeologists thousands of years into the future are digging through the ruins of the once great civilization known as Boca Raton, where they find the written question “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Believing it to be some kind of prophecy, they take their discoveries to the masses, where the question is tested by scientists and discussed by philosophers. When they discover the answer is “to get to the other side”, a portal to another dimension opens up near the planet, and a futuristic race of chicken people emerge to wipe out this civilization for knowing too much, just as they did to the last one."
Mine had a different goal, that being to make an unfunny joke into a funny one through extreme heightening, and the setting came from that goal. When making fun of modern day, I put more focus into behaviors and characterizations, whereas WWG's version plays far more into specific references and modern slang. Both ideas had really cool and varying outcomes even with the many similarities woven into them!
@@hiepdoshin7846 my reply was flagged as spam twice now, so sadly it seems I can’t tell you. Don’t say I didn’t try though!
Göl'Bunki Tumbo sounds like "Göbekli tepe" recited from distant memory while drunk
Inspiring profile picture.
Ahh, nice history channel reference, I thought it sounded ancient aliens like
Except Göbekli tepe is in Turkey and turkey is not an island. Well oceans may sink but I refuse to believe a goober from Turkey having enough money to buy all of those merches and do not have any tea or Turkish coffee packs lying around somewhere.
@@exosproudmamabear558ok but if it was a distant memory recited while drunk u might not remember that
@@berwynsigns4115 I mean yeah I was talking about this place being in Göbekli tepe instead of the person who named this being shitfaced drunk so you are right.
1:23 ahhhh yes ancient canned meat perfectly preserved with what appears to be gravy leaking out of it
gooning is SO 2023, everyone i know is busy munting. I do it every weekend
it’s the new meta
mods plz nerf munting, totally ruins the community goon sesh
Nu-uh! Getting red is what's totally trundular right now!
munting is out already. If you were trendy you would be tlichling instead
Noooo I'm in my early twenties and I don't understand new young people's lingo
I don't want to be old !
"This sock is perfectly fossilized" LOL
Lmao 🤣
For still being awake at 01:30 am when I have to be up at 05:00 am. I totally deserve this popping up in my recommended content. That will teach me!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love the fact that they still know about Harry potter
They probably found the full book because it is so wide spread. The anime part was most interesting since anime is a digital form and they lost almost every digital form so where did they learn it was anime?
I think the anime culture survive in the far future, but they probably greatly misinterpreted it
@@exosproudmamabear558
Surviving merch
There's unironical weebs out there with Doomsday bunkers and instead of classic literature they just have manga and anime and videogames lol.
The possibility that people may actually evaluate our era like this one day just puts this video on another level
I do wonder how the advent of the internet will change historical research thousands of years from now. Every aspect of humanity is now recorded in an insane amount of detail, but at the same time, to trawl through and make sense of all that information would just be overwhelming.
@@queball685a lot of the internet is already deteriorating over time (especially with links), like most of history the loss of the majority of human information is unavoidable. Honestly probably for the best
@@queball685Really I think our digital media is too fragile to last.
@@queball685digital stuff doesnt live well and people historically take little to no care of physical ones with little expection(and those go through dozens of edits)
@@queball685 the entire internet needs to be meticulously maintained.
This is such a masterpiece
"That's Dobby from Harry Potter." That line killed me
Some survivng ancient texts indicate that this Saul figure was quite the hero for the downtrodden of his time. A Good man, if you will.
The ancient siege of what was called “washngton D.C” had many accounts of the defenders praying for Saul in their time of need.
We need a full series of these.
The year 5000 seems chill af. Glad they still study history at that point in time.
Ive never seen a minion in a maga hat and that visual brought me to tears thats fucking terrible i love it
NOT THE FLESHLIGHT F U C K
@@blakewhite3131It's just canned meat
@@CatSurfer you're right, I know nothing of these ancient peoples
"that's dobby from harry potter" got me
Dobbi is timeless
"Dobbi"
WAIT THIS NEEDS A PART TWO THIS IS SO FUNNY
indeed.
i'm especially interested in those battlesuits.
"this man was clearly a king" made me burst into uncontrollable laughter
Good thing they didn't find his search history 💀
I was afraid they would use black light and still find evidence.
@@Tiberium10332oh please no
They'd just be like: they offered their semen to a fertility goddess.
Porn?
As an archaeologist, I approve this message.
👍
May the Man of Iron clear the Path of your Life.
I'm glad TH-cam suggested me this gem😂😂😂
"These people didn't waste a thing" absolutely killed me.
2:53 the fact that I have that exact poster hung up right next to me rn made me die laughing
Soo you too pray to the Great Saul in your times of need?
Better call Saul 🛐
@@deep_bob-wk6nhthis is a common misconception he’s actually just a prophet.
@@amadeosendiulo2137the esperanto guy right?
It was considered that Saul would preserve the liberty of his worshippers from the so called "DEA"
This is such a fun premise, and I really appreciate the effort involved. Everybody's got a great unique costume!
I like the idea that the characters of the joker, rick Sanchez, and iron man have all been lost to time, but the history channel still exists.