I have 3 coworkers in the Education field who have typed themselves accurately as INFP's. They also say that they have a hard time explaining what they're really trying to say. One person says she has anxiety just because of this problem. She says she becomes more talkative and go into more tangents as she gets more anxious. The other completely shut downs and daydreams quietly. Finally, the last one rambles on never getting to the point she's trying to say, and ends up changing the topic leaving us all confused! A very insightful interview Paul and Joyce! 👏👏👏
A possible sign you are one: you're never sure you are! I practically jumped at how much I resonated with the part about being nostalgic for times you weren't even alive for!❤
I am an infp supervisor and a new supervisor at that. And I am finding it to be challenging because I am naturally a laid back person. And I keep being told I am letting my staff take charge of the department instead of myself. Which is frustrating to hear.
INTP and former supervisor here. Would you allow me to give advice? Here goes: go to YOUR supervisor and ask them to identify 3 areas where they think it’s important for you to be in control. No making excuses, no victimhood, none of that. Just be direct. Then, focus primarily on those exact areas for being more hands-on and involved. If that works your staff will see that you CAN be that ‘strong’ leader. And your sup will, too. Then, take a more laid back, true to yourself approach to other areas, without being a pushover of course. In the end, if successful, by showing up as your delightful INFP-self, your staff will respect you for being you.
Wow, that whole video is so me. My sons' favourite story about me is the time I was in a bank robbery and didn't even know it. Now mind you, in my defense, it was a Canadian bank robbery and they are generally quiet affairs. I was reading a great book while standing in the line up at the bank and when I finally got to the teller, the bank doors were closing behind me and I asked the teller if I was mistaken about the time, and why were they closing? She gave me the most incredulous look and said, we just got robbed. I loathe being pragmatic and compromising my values and I like being an oddball. My fave night nurse introduced me to a new staff member saying, "This is L, she's crazy" and she meant it in the best possible way. I just love your videos Joyce, I am so glad I found your channel. Also I like to comment for the algorithm, I want your channel to grow.
To quote Jerry Seinfeld: “You know you really need some help. A regular psychiatrist couldn't even help you. You need to go to like Vienna or something. You know what I mean? You need to get involved at the University level. Like where Freud studied and have all those people looking at you and checking up on you. That's the kind of help you need. Not the once a week for eighty bucks. No. You need a team. A team of psychiatrists working round the clock thinking about you, having conferences, observing you, like the way they did with the Elephant Man. That's what I'm talking about because that's the only way you're going to get better.”
I could relate to pretty much everything Paul shared. Like Paul, I have also been seriously wounded by Joyce's clear anti-INFP stance and will be sending her a barrage of DMs containing poetry expressing the deep wounding in my soul.
I think INFPs are contradictions often. So while we may meander in speech, we can also be accused of being too honest and too direct. INFPs are some of the best brainstorming types around. I'm not sure where this INFP has this experience from. Perhaps it relates to the Enneagram 9 type. Many other INFPs are Enneagram 4 types, as I am, and ideation is one of my gifts.
Ikr, the brainstorming part made little sense whatsover, considering Ne is the second function of INFPs that is greatly connected to brainstorming and generating ideas, "the hunt" for ideas basically, what I would describe as a function that does not prefer The Hunt approach is rather Ni - Introverted Intution.
To clarify, Paul is a great brainstormer and ideator, he is just being humble about it, as an Enneagram 9 would be. That's a good point, @Munkami! I think Enneagram 4 INFPs are more honest and direct than the Enneagram 9 ones. It could be an Enneagram difference at play here.
@@winterbird4447 of course, since you have Ne as a primary function you will find it easier to come up with plenty of ideas than an INFP. But an INFP will find it easier to come up with ideas than most other types. We are observers first and try to ask ourselves how something makes us feel. Then we can process it through our Ne. This results in fewer ideas than an ENFP but often more profound or socially oriented. INFPs who haven't developed their Ne or dont use it enough will struggle with ideation. They won't know how to access it. But those who exercise their creativity regularly and are healthy should find ideation something they're good at. INFPs can drown in their emotions and get lost - Ne helps to pull them out of those emotions while also allowing them a form of therapy to purge them through Ne creativity. INFPs are REALLY complex.
One other thing I might add is, you're not an INFP if you decorate with items that have a practical use. My husband is INFP and his whole office is filled with things that don't have any obvious, defined use, but if you ask him about something, he'll describe how it reminds him of a thing from a book and in the book it symbolized something and he really liked the image or meaning it brought to his mind, etc. All the stuff has some kind of meaning. I've found that it's not just the INFPs who do this though. All the types with Ne first or second tend to have a lot of stuff and it's chosen because of a meaning or memory attached, not a specific practical use. For me, ISFP, i feel overwhelmed by too much stuff and I'm more drawn to decorations that have a purpose. I decorate the main part of the house and about 90% of what I put out are things like throw pillows, candlesticks, baskets, the chess board, even the china we don't use all the time has an obvious use. I like to find pretty versions of practical things. The materials they're made of is really important to me also. But i rarely choose things that don't have any obvious use. The few times I do, it's usually connected to a holiday or season. i had some bunny figures out around Easter, but when Easter ended, the bunnies were put away because I don't see how they would make sense anymore. Things with no purpose just end up being things I have to dust and I hate that. But Ne's like things with a meaning even if they get dusty.
Responding to #1: I think the direct vs informative thing heavily depends on context. In emergency type situations where safety is on the line, if you aren’t concise and direct, someone is more likely to get hurt, so even as an INFP, I can be pretty direct if needed. That said, my personal overall preference is more random flowery language. When interacting with others in real life, I find it difficult to find many others who will engage in the kind of quick back and forth randomness I enjoy, so that part of me can sometimes go very unsatisfied. I am trying to learn to not keep myself in check as often as possible, even if others do not respond in a way that I find more stimulating. (Super non-direct answer written here 😂) The wind is long. The self-referencing is strong.
I don’t really like the word “push” when it comes to using Ne. I feel like that is more applicable to Te (At least for myself). It’s pretty easy to find Ne inspiration, with sudden random popups in the brain that can be from observing the outside world, content consumption, watching people interact, the things they do, and what they say, and how they say it… leading to all the multiple interpretations or hypotheses to follow up on. I feel sorry for the people who have to put up with the massive amounts of half-baked Ne-vomit I come up with.
Joyce could you do a video on the theory that enneagram 9 is anti intuitive? I see a lot of this in the mbti community and there seems to be a split between those thinking this is true and others disagreeing. I’d love to hear your perspective.
Very cool idea! I'd be curious to hear more about this. The only tidbit I'm aware of is Self-preservation (or Preserving) Nines being very concrete in terms of their preoccupations.
I am INFP and realize how important it is to know your cognitive functions...I learned our cognitive function can be healthy and unhealthy...We can ascribe them to the kind of ubringing we received.. Aside from being an INFP, I am also Enneagram type 9.
I relate so much to this. My parents put in ballet and i loved it, but then switched to gymnastics because i was doing kick-offs off the couch and landing on other furniture. They wanted me better at it so I would know how to not get hurt if i wasn't paying attention.
I can't relate to a lot of points because most points heavily depend on the respective situation, one does not make absolute statements about behavioral tendencies in a vacuum, because life does not run in a vacuum. (also is not MBTI about the cognition? behavior rather is the individual interpretation of the respective functions ) Also brainstorming is heavily connected to Ne, what is described in the video is rather close to Ni's stillness when it comes to finding/interpreting ideas, AsuraPsych's example of the stone that gets thrown into the still water (Ni, waiting for ideas to reveal themselfes) vs the river intersecting with already placed stones(Ne, on the hunt for ideas) is a very good example of that.
My belief is that behavior is not cognition, but it can be a pretty clear sign of your cognition. As you pointed out Marci, there are always exceptions to the signs that we listed. At the end of the video, I mentioned this too as I am aware that behavior does not always perfectly translate to cognition. I think Paul was trying to say that there are Ne users who describe needing an initial springboard to ideate off of. Otherwise, they may be bottlenecked by the possibilities when they aren't given an initial starting place. Very much appreciate you watching TypeTalks, Marci! You offer very valid points.
I related to almost everything very me. The one that threw me for a loop was number 2 maybe its the double negative. So were you saying we have difficulty brainstorming or we are good at it? For me ideas come easy so much I want to try out. That part no problem now going out and doing it is another thing 😅
Im just wandering how: Hyper vigilance plays into not being aware of what’s going on around you e.g aware of sudden loud noises and threats in the environment resulting from trauma.
If none of this was relatable to you or you didn’t experience some of these earlier in life, then perhaps you’ve had more development in your other functions. Or you’re a mistype. I notice a lot of INTJ mistype as INFP because of their Fi child. If you’re more direct in your speech, systematic and progression oriented you might be INTJ
@@mattlesion386 yeah, just rewatched a bit of it and such things like not being even just regularly aware or not being physically coordinated, just ain’t me. I’m not sure how coordination ties into personality types either in my opinion it would result more from stress levels and simply some practice Ps explain Fi child term if you could not too familiar with that concept
@@mattlesion386 I’m direct these days because I’m a complete stranger in the area I live in right now and have been frequently living in my van the last 3 years. I think people use subtlety when they believe there reputation is on the line. If you don’t have one, why do you need to be subtle? The truth is the best thing you can say to someone always. If they are open minded they can use that to their ultimate benefit. Besides, my experience being an open book actually has offered many more meaningful relationships. I speak directly, honestly and openly and that’s what I get back. You ever heard the saying: “the truth sets you free?” It really does, and it can be that way for everyone Sorry for the word spill by the way haha.
He's also an Enneagram 9, which might account for the difference. Enneagram 4 INFPs can be more direct and confrontational. Although, if you look up Linda Beren's Interaction Styles, you will see that INFPs are classified as an Informative type. Thus they are indirect and informative in speech.
whut. i'm infp and i need direct precise communication when given tasks. i love brainstorming by myself or another individual. not with a large group of people
10 out of 10, I but I'm still an INTP😅 You will not! Turn me into a crybaby FI dom😂. Good video PS Honestly the first time I've agreed to all the items on a list like this and fairly strongly on most(if not all) of them. Most of them apply to I INTPS as well though(you won't get me😎)
Ooh, I've got some more bad news for you. Men are also talking about their feelings more and seeking professional help so they don't kill themselves. In related news, I hear those uppity womenfolk are wanting to vote and drive motor vehicles. 🖤
I have 3 coworkers in the Education field who have typed themselves accurately as INFP's. They also say that they have a hard time explaining what they're really trying to say.
One person says she has anxiety just because of this problem. She says she becomes more talkative and go into more tangents as she gets more anxious. The other completely shut downs and daydreams quietly. Finally, the last one rambles on never getting to the point she's trying to say, and ends up changing the topic leaving us all confused!
A very insightful interview Paul and Joyce! 👏👏👏
Haha, they sound like quite interesting individuals. Thanks for sharing, Ricardo. :)
Apparently, I somehow split myself into three separate entities and they all ended up in education!
🖤😅
Glad you enjoyed it, Ricardo!
A possible sign you are one: you're never sure you are! I practically jumped at how much I resonated with the part about being nostalgic for times you weren't even alive for!❤
For the never sure you are: I think that goes to all Perceiving types (especially INTP also go through that a lot)
A search of "nostalgic for times you weren't alive" brought me here. I feel so seen by this comment. 🙏
I am an infp supervisor and a new supervisor at that. And I am finding it to be challenging because I am naturally a laid back person. And I keep being told I am letting my staff take charge of the department instead of myself. Which is frustrating to hear.
*Laid not lead
Don't give up, others don't understand, trust yourself, for you know your cause is just and righteous
INTP and former supervisor here. Would you allow me to give advice? Here goes: go to YOUR supervisor and ask them to identify 3 areas where they think it’s important for you to be in control. No making excuses, no victimhood, none of that. Just be direct. Then, focus primarily on those exact areas for being more hands-on and involved. If that works your staff will see that you CAN be that ‘strong’ leader. And your sup will, too. Then, take a more laid back, true to yourself approach to other areas, without being a pushover of course. In the end, if successful, by showing up as your delightful INFP-self, your staff will respect you for being you.
I really enjoy listening to Paul for his insightful content but also because he has a such a good broadcasting voice!
He really does have an amazing voice!
Aw, smooth talker!
💖
I'm also blessed with a face for radio.
🖤
Wow, that whole video is so me. My sons' favourite story about me is the time I was in a bank robbery and didn't even know it. Now mind you, in my defense, it was a Canadian bank robbery and they are generally quiet affairs. I was reading a great book while standing in the line up at the bank and when I finally got to the teller, the bank doors were closing behind me and I asked the teller if I was mistaken about the time, and why were they closing? She gave me the most incredulous look and said, we just got robbed. I loathe being pragmatic and compromising my values and I like being an oddball. My fave night nurse introduced me to a new staff member saying, "This is L, she's crazy" and she meant it in the best possible way. I just love your videos Joyce, I am so glad I found your channel. Also I like to comment for the algorithm, I want your channel to grow.
From a fellow-intense-about-thoughts-and-values INTP. Ms L, please stay crazy, always. :)
Thank you for boosting the algorithm, @luminyam6145! I am feeling the love :)
YAAS! Raise that algorithm to tha roof! Joyce shall be our new deity!
@@borderedge6465 Thank you! You two fellow dreamer💖I am sorry it too so long for me to respond. I did not see your lovely comment.
“INFPs are not like other girls” 🤣
Haha, what a stellar response!
*waves PICK ME sign*
Yep 🤣🤣🤣
Yesss! Love this! ❤️
Same
We TeFi types must protect the INFPs. They are precious. (intj)
I'm married to an ESTJ and my best friend is an INTJ. I'm in gloriously capable hands!
TeFi FiTe same same but different. 😊 However we need no protection we are dreamers If we don't like it here we have many worlds of our own.
I think a person would need to have a PhD in psychology to deal with INFPs correctly.
Lmaooooooo
100%
Imagine being an INFP!
To quote Jerry Seinfeld:
“You know you really need some help. A regular psychiatrist couldn't even help you. You need to go to like Vienna or something. You know what I mean? You need to get involved at the University level. Like where Freud studied and have all those people looking at you and checking up on you. That's the kind of help you need. Not the once a week for eighty bucks. No. You need a team. A team of psychiatrists working round the clock thinking about you, having conferences, observing you, like the way they did with the Elephant Man. That's what I'm talking about because that's the only way you're going to get better.”
@@paulmatson661 I just had a heart attack. Lmao.
@@paulmatson661 😂😂 so true though... what an existence!
11.- If you don't say "what if" on a daily basis.
Or "I wonder if..."
ENFP here can be concise.
Joyce looks amazing!
I could relate to pretty much everything Paul shared. Like Paul, I have also been seriously wounded by Joyce's clear anti-INFP stance and will be sending her a barrage of DMs containing poetry expressing the deep wounding in my soul.
That's me, shattering the hearts and souls of INFPs everywhere.
@@JoyceMeng22 You are the one who the INFP prophecies spoke of. The end bringer, the destroyer. Personally, I always thought it would be Dr. Phil.
Thank you, DJ, for raising awareness to our plight!
*composes heart-wrenching verse by candlelight*
@@paulmatson661 I stand with you against Joyce's tyranny.
How nice! I watched today a previous one of your duo and I thought too bad there's no more of INFP talks ^^
That's nice to know that you miss the INFP content. More INFP videos to come ;)
As and istp I thought I looked like and infp and I was right, it only looks like it sometimes. Yall are beautiful ☮️
As are you, ISTPs!
I think INFPs are contradictions often. So while we may meander in speech, we can also be accused of being too honest and too direct.
INFPs are some of the best brainstorming types around. I'm not sure where this INFP has this experience from. Perhaps it relates to the Enneagram 9 type. Many other INFPs are Enneagram 4 types, as I am, and ideation is one of my gifts.
Ikr, the brainstorming part made little sense whatsover, considering Ne is the second function of INFPs that is greatly connected to brainstorming and generating ideas, "the hunt" for ideas basically, what I would describe as a function that does not prefer The Hunt approach is rather Ni - Introverted Intution.
To clarify, Paul is a great brainstormer and ideator, he is just being humble about it, as an Enneagram 9 would be.
That's a good point, @Munkami! I think Enneagram 4 INFPs are more honest and direct than the Enneagram 9 ones. It could be an Enneagram difference at play here.
@@winterbird4447 most certainly not
@@winterbird4447 of course, since you have Ne as a primary function you will find it easier to come up with plenty of ideas than an INFP. But an INFP will find it easier to come up with ideas than most other types. We are observers first and try to ask ourselves how something makes us feel. Then we can process it through our Ne. This results in fewer ideas than an ENFP but often more profound or socially oriented. INFPs who haven't developed their Ne or dont use it enough will struggle with ideation. They won't know how to access it. But those who exercise their creativity regularly and are healthy should find ideation something they're good at. INFPs can drown in their emotions and get lost - Ne helps to pull them out of those emotions while also allowing them a form of therapy to purge them through Ne creativity. INFPs are REALLY complex.
One other thing I might add is, you're not an INFP if you decorate with items that have a practical use. My husband is INFP and his whole office is filled with things that don't have any obvious, defined use, but if you ask him about something, he'll describe how it reminds him of a thing from a book and in the book it symbolized something and he really liked the image or meaning it brought to his mind, etc. All the stuff has some kind of meaning. I've found that it's not just the INFPs who do this though. All the types with Ne first or second tend to have a lot of stuff and it's chosen because of a meaning or memory attached, not a specific practical use. For me, ISFP, i feel overwhelmed by too much stuff and I'm more drawn to decorations that have a purpose. I decorate the main part of the house and about 90% of what I put out are things like throw pillows, candlesticks, baskets, the chess board, even the china we don't use all the time has an obvious use. I like to find pretty versions of practical things. The materials they're made of is really important to me also. But i rarely choose things that don't have any obvious use. The few times I do, it's usually connected to a holiday or season. i had some bunny figures out around Easter, but when Easter ended, the bunnies were put away because I don't see how they would make sense anymore. Things with no purpose just end up being things I have to dust and I hate that. But Ne's like things with a meaning even if they get dusty.
Excellent example, @chuzzlewitspack9126!
Responding to #1: I think the direct vs informative thing heavily depends on context. In emergency type situations where safety is on the line, if you aren’t concise and direct, someone is more likely to get hurt, so even as an INFP, I can be pretty direct if needed. That said, my personal overall preference is more random flowery language. When interacting with others in real life, I find it difficult to find many others who will engage in the kind of quick back and forth randomness I enjoy, so that part of me can sometimes go very unsatisfied. I am trying to learn to not keep myself in check as often as possible, even if others do not respond in a way that I find more stimulating. (Super non-direct answer written here 😂) The wind is long. The self-referencing is strong.
I don’t really like the word “push” when it comes to using Ne. I feel like that is more applicable to Te (At least for myself). It’s pretty easy to find Ne inspiration, with sudden random popups in the brain that can be from observing the outside world, content consumption, watching people interact, the things they do, and what they say, and how they say it… leading to all the multiple interpretations or hypotheses to follow up on. I feel sorry for the people who have to put up with the massive amounts of half-baked Ne-vomit I come up with.
Joyce could you do a video on the theory that enneagram 9 is anti intuitive? I see a lot of this in the mbti community and there seems to be a split between those thinking this is true and others disagreeing. I’d love to hear your perspective.
Absolutely, @ro.l4133! I'll try to tackle the topic sometime in the coming months.
Very cool idea! I'd be curious to hear more about this. The only tidbit I'm aware of is Self-preservation (or Preserving) Nines being very concrete in terms of their preoccupations.
@@JoyceMeng22 Thank you!
I am INFP and realize how important it is to know your cognitive functions...I learned our cognitive function can be healthy and unhealthy...We can ascribe them to the kind of ubringing we received..
Aside from being an INFP, I am also Enneagram type 9.
I relate so much to this. My parents put in ballet and i loved it, but then switched to gymnastics because i was doing kick-offs off the couch and landing on other furniture. They wanted me better at it so I would know how to not get hurt if i wasn't paying attention.
I can't relate to a lot of points because most points heavily depend on the respective situation, one does not make absolute statements about behavioral tendencies in a vacuum, because life does not run in a vacuum.
(also is not MBTI about the cognition? behavior rather is the individual interpretation of the respective functions )
Also brainstorming is heavily connected to Ne, what is described in the video is rather close to Ni's stillness when it comes to finding/interpreting ideas, AsuraPsych's example of the stone that gets thrown into the still water (Ni, waiting for ideas to reveal themselfes) vs the river intersecting with already placed stones(Ne, on the hunt for ideas) is a very good example of that.
My belief is that behavior is not cognition, but it can be a pretty clear sign of your cognition.
As you pointed out Marci, there are always exceptions to the signs that we listed. At the end of the video, I mentioned this too as I am aware that behavior does not always perfectly translate to cognition.
I think Paul was trying to say that there are Ne users who describe needing an initial springboard to ideate off of. Otherwise, they may be bottlenecked by the possibilities when they aren't given an initial starting place.
Very much appreciate you watching TypeTalks, Marci! You offer very valid points.
@@JoyceMeng22 Thanks Joyce for your answer!
I cracked up at #5 and #8, because I definitely relate to those 100% to a fault! 🤣🤣🤣
I related to almost everything very me. The one that threw me for a loop was number 2 maybe its the double negative. So were you saying we have difficulty brainstorming or we are good at it? For me ideas come easy so much I want to try out. That part no problem now going out and doing it is another thing 😅
Other girls like small talk and chitchat whereas Infps are more authentic focused girls.
Im just wandering how:
Hyper vigilance plays into not being aware of what’s going on around you e.g aware of sudden loud noises and threats in the environment resulting from trauma.
A lot of this l can recognize i my own life made me smile and cry a little on the inside.
I think this represents more of that individual than the INFP personality type as a whole. Hard to really relate to as an INFP myself
Really? I 100% related to every point he made
If none of this was relatable to you or you didn’t experience some of these earlier in life, then perhaps you’ve had more development in your other functions. Or you’re a mistype. I notice a lot of INTJ mistype as INFP because of their Fi child. If you’re more direct in your speech, systematic and progression oriented you might be INTJ
@@mattlesion386 yeah, just rewatched a bit of it and such things like not being even just regularly aware or not being physically coordinated, just ain’t me. I’m not sure how coordination ties into personality types either in my opinion it would result more from stress levels and simply some practice
Ps explain Fi child term if you could not too familiar with that concept
@@mattlesion386 I’m direct these days because I’m a complete stranger in the area I live in right now and have been frequently living in my van the last 3 years. I think people use subtlety when they believe there reputation is on the line. If you don’t have one, why do you need to be subtle? The truth is the best thing you can say to someone always. If they are open minded they can use that to their ultimate benefit. Besides, my experience being an open book actually has offered many more meaningful relationships. I speak directly, honestly and openly and that’s what I get back. You ever heard the saying: “the truth sets you free?” It really does, and it can be that way for everyone
Sorry for the word spill by the way haha.
He's also an Enneagram 9, which might account for the difference. Enneagram 4 INFPs can be more direct and confrontational.
Although, if you look up Linda Beren's Interaction Styles, you will see that INFPs are classified as an Informative type. Thus they are indirect and informative in speech.
Please make a video on signs you're INFP-T or anything related to INFP-T
whut. i'm infp and i need direct precise communication when given tasks. i love brainstorming by myself or another individual. not with a large group of people
Nails !!!😮
So.... i'm not an INFP. Now what 😢?
How did he neet his wife?
LOL, asking the real questions here! We met speed-dating. On Valentine's Day. 💘
10 out of 10, I but I'm still an INTP😅
You will not! Turn me into a crybaby FI dom😂.
Good video
PS Honestly the first time I've agreed to all the items on a list like this and fairly strongly on most(if not all) of them.
Most of them apply to I INTPS as well though(you won't get me😎)
bruh
And now men are wearing nail polish 🤦🏻♀️😣
God forbid men wear nail polish 😱, they must only wear dirt on their fingernails and never express themselves.
Ooh, I've got some more bad news for you. Men are also talking about their feelings more and seeking professional help so they don't kill themselves. In related news, I hear those uppity womenfolk are wanting to vote and drive motor vehicles. 🖤
You proved being a non infp 😂😂