The SAD True Story of a Girl with a HIGH Body Count
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- What does a girl's body count ACTUALLY reveal about her? Here are my thoughts on whether the number of guys a girl sleeps with matters and how you should approach the conversation with a girl.
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You can't tell me a woman with a body count of 80 men is not gonna have attachment/intimacy issues in a relationship. It's a red flag for a reason.
Why do you believe she would have attachment/intimacy issues?
Some people may be at a stage in their life where they're just interested in casual sex rather than relationships. If they make that switch at a later stage in their life, why do you hold the assumption that it wouldn't be possible for them to do so?
@@TheJoshSpeaks Because sex for women is more about emotions than it is for men, and the more they sleep around and have "casual sex" the more it becomes less and less about emotions. You can see it in their eyes, sex is less meaningful even if they desperately want a relationship.
People with a healthy sexuality give just as much importance to sex as to emotional intimacy, they are two sides of the same coin.
When a girl has slept with 80+ men, she is displaying through her actions that there is no consequence to sex (for her). Most women do not actually want this.
On top of this, in my experience these women have a lot of issues, like past trauma, parental issues, abused as a child, etc. They use sex for validation and there are consequences to it (I've talked to quite a few of these women with high body counts and they all admit they do it for validation). It shows an apparent lack of self worth and self respect in my eyes, it's why men are so disgusted by it on an internal level.
I didn't make the rules, but unbound casual sex has consequences to relationships.
@@hakametal This statement isn't true:
"the more they sleep around and have "casual sex" the more it becomes less and less about emotions."
Casual sex can occur without emotional attachment to the partner. It happens all the time between men and women so to suggest that women lose the ability to develop an emotional attachment because they've had sex with a few different guys is just bogus. It's misunderstanding the concept of pair bonding and repeating a lot of the misrepresentations that you commonly see in the red pill community.
You can also have a healthy sexual life while still maintaining casual hookups. The key is to be selective about who you choose to hook up with and to make sure that it's consensual, you both are open about what you're looking for and there is clear communication along the way.
The problem isn't so much the number of sexual partners a person may have but the rollercoaster of emotions that may come from it if there is lying, manipulation, crossing of boundaries, and more.
I also think it's not enough to go off of your personal experience because I can also say that in my personal experience, girls who have had high body counts who are selective about their partners tend to be just fine in terms of mental health, stable life, etc.
Granted, there is a correlation between mental health, depression, substance abuse and high body count as per the research that exists online, but what they point out is that the social stigmas women face, the pressure from religious or cultural households tends to drive them towards mental health issues, substance abuse, etc.
The solution there seems to be to remove the stigma so women can feel like they have the autonomy to make decisions they want to make without people judging them as if they are doing something inherently wrong.
Can you also provide some data to support the idea that unbound casual sex has consequences to future relationships? I haven't seen any research on that but you seem pretty confident that that is the case so I'd love to see what's influencing your opinion here.
@@TheJoshSpeaksThe higher the body count the higher the chance of divorce.
Usually dopamine receptors are what is important here.
For women it could be porn but they dont need that. Emotional "trauma" is gained from promiscuity and attachment issues.
For men it is porn the issue.
If a guy keeps watching porn his dopamine receptors will make him less happy in a relationship because he is used to high levels of FAST dopamine and he will not enjoy a simple one.
For women the case is stronger because while porn addiction can be cured by just avoiding it (the brain heals himself) the emotional trauma is not something that heals itself because its not an addiction.
Pair bonding is more important to women than it is for men. Men can easily dettach sexual pleasure because the sex drive is very strong so they will have that problem if they over do the number of sexual partners,but from studies the chances of relationship satisfaction reported goes down arouns the 5-6th girl and the dirvorce chance goes up after the 7th girl.
For women the divorce goes up after 1 😂. And relationship dissatisfaction goes up after 2.
1 in 5 women who were virgins when married (serious relationship) reported extremely satisfied compared to 1 in 10 women who had between 5-10.
10+ for women is usually over most of the times,and the cause is not guys. There will be simps like u who would take a 80+ bodycount women and argue about being emotionally mature to accept it,but the issue is not you or the guys,the issue is the girls "happiness". At that point she is broken mentally and the relationship will not be stable. It might be healthy,but it wont last longer than 1-3 years.
Like there are millions of years of evolution that proves the point that logically women arent made to be this way and their evolution strategy doesnt allign with modern culture or conveniences because their subconscious attraction triggers are still the same. The data will also show the same thing.
So no,people are not insecure for having preferences.
If a girl wants someone who works hard she is not insecure of her abiility to work hard.
If a girl is attracted to a guy who is more confident than her or is stronger than her she is not insecure on his ability to do these things,its subconsciously natural for her.
If a guy doesnt want to create an emotional connection with a girl who has been with so many men he is not insecure,he is very secure of what he likes and what he doesnt.
Stop shaming us for knowing what we like and what we dont.
@@TheJoshSpeaks The more sexual partners the higher likelihood of divorce
Women initiate 70-85% of divorces
90% if she has a college degree
sex before marriage is a sin
the Bible says many times "the two become one flesh"
you can become "one flesh" with multiple people and expect to have a successful marriage
God will not be mocked
Pretty manipulative language used here to make men sound weak.
Men arent "obsessed" with body count, theyre concerned. And theyre not "intimidated", theyre disgusted.
I apologize if you interpreted this to be all men, but there is a contingent of men on the internet that talk about body count non stop.
As for being disgusted, we can definitely agree there. However there are also men who are intimidated by women who have more sexual experience than them. I plan on making a video soon breaking that down a bit further.
@@TheJoshSpeaks no i interpreted it as most men, its still manipulative.
I dont think many men are intimidated by body count, more likely just repulsed.
@@piskmanne I think there are instances where intimidation can factor in, especially if there is ego involved in why you hold that preference. Once I put the video together I would love to hear your perspective on it though.
I'm curious, do you find it repulsive? If so, why?
@@TheJoshSpeaks "instances" doesnt justify painting with such a broad brush.
Yes, i do, but since its not a constructed belief answering "why" would delve into speculative evolution.
@piskmanne I'm not sure where you get the idea that I am referring to men with a broad brush here. I even clarified it earlier in the conversation that I'm speaking about a contingent of men.
Given that you didn't really answer the question as to why you find it repulsive, all I can assume is that it's how you feel and that it's not a belief of yours that you are open to challenging, which is fine.
I for one think that it's a belief that holds men and women back and that we should view it consistently if we are going with a data driven approach as to where there can potentially be harmful outcomes in one's promiscuity, not in one's body count however.
Simp giving dating advice
Care to explain how I'm a simp?
He’s not a simp. He’s talking about double standards.
@@Yourlocalanimenerrdit's not double standards if they pertain to a specific gender
Not simping
@@Yourlocalanimenerrd
So do women have a double standard when they judge men on height or earning? You can’t make this stuff up can you?
You understand that you just proved the point? A high body count devalued this woman and made her not marriage material.
In her boyfriends eyes it did. However where you may identify the problem being with her, it actually lies with him because his feelings were preventing him from being able to get over something that happened prior to them dating.
@@TheJoshSpeaks agree to disagree. There are billions of potential partners. I'm willing to bet his next choice was less promiscuous.
@Kev Kev well the truth is they are still together, although I don't really know what their relationship status is because they moved to a different state.
However even if he ended up with someone else, it wouldn't negate the fact that he was deeply insecure and intimidated by something that happened before their relationship. His inability to accept that she had a life full of experiences before him made him feel small in comparison. Moving on to someone else doesn't erase those feelings.
@@TheJoshSpeaks well we do agree on something. She had a life of experiences. Experiences that he can't be the provider that brings those experiences to her for the first time. We won't agree but nice to have a cordial conversation these days. Hope you have a blessed day sir.
@@TheJoshSpeaks had nothing to do with that. He told her he wanted to hang out without being in a relationship with her because he wanted casual sex without the commitment. Your friend got played.
Women know full well that their past matters, which is why they get so stone-faced and pissed off when they’re asked their body count. They know that if men hear a number that’s too high, men get ghost. So they either lie, or they remain silent. But THEY KNOW.
What’s baffling to me though is this: Instead of using this knowledge of how men think to remain celibate until they find someone suitable, they would rather be arrogant and selfish, wasting their best years running around being promiscuous, attempting to alter thousands of years of societal standards so that they get to behave like men. “Men sleep around, so I want to be a whore too.” I’ve never seen a group of people fight so hard to engage in degrading behavior. It’s the most ridiculous, disgusting, and fucked up logic I’ve ever seen.
Then, when they hit that wall, they pretend like they have no clue WTF is happening. Women are not stupid. They are very deliberate. They want the privilege of acting foolish with impunity. I don’t feel sorry for them.
Wow Jason, you have some really strong feelings towards women there. I'll respond to your points but it does seem like you're coming from a place of hurt. Is your opinion influenced by your experience with women or do you think you're trying to view this as charitably as you can?
We run into a bit of a circular standard here. Men judge women by their past body count so women lie about their body count to not push men away. When women are honest and open with guys they seem to crumble and ghost those women because they feel the need to judge them. Men, thereby don't value honesty and openness, they prefer to operate in a way that doesn't bruise their ego. Women lie to protect themselves in securing a guy and in protecting the guy so he doesn't have to face his own social conditioning that re-inforces this idea that women should not have multiple sexual partners.
What you are suggesting is for women to dictate their sexual lives for the sake of men's ego which I think is pretty restrictive. If roles were reversed and women only wanted to date men who were willing to commit to girls, do you think it would be fair to tell men to only be with women they plan on being in a relationship with? I think taking a more open approach in letting people decide for themselves seems to be the healthiest way to operate, and the research tends to agree with me there when we look at data surrounding mental health and well being in alignment with religious, social and cultural restrictions. I don't see how it is arrogant and selfish to simply live however you want to live but perhaps you can elaborate on that.
Your next comment is where I think you're doing a bit of projecting and speaking from a place of hurt. When you say things like "wasting their best years running around being promiscuous", it sounds like there is an objectively better way that people should be operating. Can you explain what that is? Human brain development continues on up till around the age of 25 or so, which is in alignment when people are at their highest levels of seeking adventure, freedom, exploration, etc. Are you proposing it's better to find a partner while you're young and to spend the best years of your life doing something you may not feel ready to do?
Also, we haven't operated with one partner for thousands of years according to the research. Monogamy is a pretty recent structure, spanning over the last 1000 years or so. Even today, humans are serial monogamists so we enter multiple relationships throughout our lives before we finally settle down.
I can also sense your hurt and frustration in this line "Then, when they hit that wall, they pretend like they have no clue WTF is happening.". It sounds like you may be angry with women and feel like they get what's coming to them when they "hit the wall". Society is evolving and people are entering partnerships later and later in life. Men are also facing similar issues as well with finding partners as they get older so this isn't specific to women.
I don't think anyone is asking you to feel sorry for them, but I wonder if your position is deeply rooted in hurt. I would love to know more about your experience because I think it will help paint a better picture of why you feel the way you do.
th-cam.com/video/_eQcmmdtIQE/w-d-xo.html
@@TheJoshSpeaks when your girlfriend tells you she cheated on you, do you leave her? oh, you must not value honesty then
@@nickcorona3966 You can value honesty and hold someone accountable for overstepping your boundaries.
If you both went into the relationship with the intention of being monogamous and your partner cheated on you, then they have broken the bond that you two established. Being honest about it is an honorable trait, but cheating is not.
I'm not sure if you said that as some sort of gotcha or something but I feel like what I wrote here should be pretty self explanatory.
@@TheJoshSpeaks okay so it's no different. you just making a distinction because of your bias towards hoes. being a hoe is overstepping many men's boundaries
Simp chronicles
That doesn't even make sense....
@@TheJoshSpeaks of course that would fly over your head josh. No surprise there.
@@TheJoshSpeaks Because your a SIMP
@@TheKyleman999 it doesn't make any sense here. How did anything I say in this video classify me as being a simp? Who am I simping for by pointing out the absurdities in the arguments made?
@@TheJoshSpeaks define simp for me.
That is the dumbest reason to care about body count. The primary reason to be concerned with it is the low chances of success in a long-term relationship or marriage die to statistics of high body count women and divorce.
Do you think a high body count is the most influential factor in a potential divorce? Or is the data out there resting on correlation rather than any kind of causation?
@@TheJoshSpeaks study up on evolutionary psychology. Also anecdotally there’s a reason most men are disgusted with a high body count. Men and women find different things a turn off and turn on.
@jh777 hey, evolutionary psychology doesn't support the disgust factor that society has enforced. Evolutionary psychology would perhaps instead dissuade people from engaging with someone who already has children since that might mean less focus on their own children should they partner with that person.
I made all of that up without any evidence however, much like people who fall back on terms like evolutionary psychology do.
Unless you have evidence to support the claim, it's just an idea.
Also pointing to men and women being disgusted by different things doesn't support your argument so I'm not sure the relevance of it.
@@TheJoshSpeaks midwits like you should not be allowed to legally have a platform same as how many people with sub 75 iq find it difficult to get drivers license. Nothing worse then a midwit, intelligent enough to engage and think they are thoughtful but not intelligent enough to actually think meaningfully.
Btw if you would spend 30 seconds googling you would find out the dude ur arguing with is right. Many, many studies have been done showing correlation between body count and divorce your are simply ignorant.
@@TheJoshSpeaks Firstly, whether it is the most influential factor or not is irrelevant. What you should be asking is if its a relevant factor at all. For men and women, a high body count indicates a lack of commitment just like how your FICO score indicates the likelihood of paying off future loans based on how disciplined you are at paying previous loans. So its absolutely reasonable to be weary of people with high body counts. Secondly, I noticed a lot of logical fallacies you’ve employed (whether intentional or accidental) to sway people regardless of true reasons. For one, you made up a story which paints the woman as the victim and the man as the controversial one. then uses that story to generalize an argument against men and judging women off body count, not only is this an appeal to the emotion of listeners, its also just outright misguided, one fictitious case cant be used to argue a broad statement the same way the story of robin hood cant be used to justify theft. Furthermore you seem to target the fault at men, so ill ask: if a women were to judge a man based on his body count, much like in your story, are they equally wrong? If so why did you leave that part out entirely? Perhaps to make yourself more attractive to women?
If a woman has been ran through, it was her choice. Easier for women to get sex, so when they finally decide to "settle down" she has no right to dictate what men are looking for in a long term relationship. And also can't be mad when they don't wanna deal with a woman who has a double digit body count. Straight up does not matter with age. No man wants a woman who has detached intimacy from sex, otherwise she's recreational use.
You said a lot of different things there so let's walk through them one by one.
1. A person's number of sexual partners, whether high or low is ultimately their choice. We can agree on that. I'm not sure if that's something that needs to be said though...
2. While it may be easier for women to get sex, she most certainly can decide what she wants in a long term relationship. If that's a partner who doesn't let arbitrary things like the number of sexual partners get in the way of being together then that's fine. Men and women can bother have general ideas of what either should value, I just would hope they are grounded in something stronger than just feelings.
3. If a girl is annoyed by a guy who rejects her because of her body count, I think it's worth exploring why body count matters to him. It's the same if a girl rejects a guy who is under 6 feet, it's worth exploring why she's so hung up on that number.
4. Having a high body count doesn't necessarily mean the person has detached intimacy from sex. They may have intimate connections with each of their sexual partners, but may not want to turn those into longer relationships.
@TheJoshSpeaks imagine kiss a women that already suck another men banana
how old are you? Do you refuse to shake the hand of every man you've ever met because he might have masturbated with it?
@@TheJoshSpeaksYou seriously have no idea what youre talking about.
@@curcumin417he doesn’t he’s either trolling or flat out stupid
Why are so many women concerned with my height?, Why are so many women concerned with how much I make? See what I did there ☺️
💯 🔥
Height is not equivalent to body count. Height is observable and it's a trait that can be passed down genetically.
As for how much you make, I think if a woman is fixated on a number above the quality of the person behind the number then she's being pretty silly. See what I did there?
@@TheJoshSpeaks so by your logic the majority of women are pretty silly. See what I did there?
If the majority of women are fixated on a number then yes, they are silly.
If the majority of men are fixated on a number then yes, they are silly.
@@TheJoshSpeaks men and women value different things. A woman values a man for what he can provide and his ability to protect. Men value purity beauty and fertility.
It is basic instinct that the majority of men find women with high body count repulsive the reason for this is to ensure paternity if a woman has a high body count it was a pretty good indicator that the chances of her cheating was high. Why do you think women always lie about their body count? Because they know this subconsciously. And you said that pair bonding was a random thing I picked up from a TH-camr. Post the source. Study’s clearly show that women with high body count are way more likely to divorce where of a virgin has a 80% marriage stability rate. Women with 5 body’s have a 30% stability rate. Study was made by the CDC for family growth 1995.
Oxytocin - women produce way more oxytocin than men during an intimate encounter oxytocin is considered the “love hormone” which helps partners pair bond. So the more body’s she’s had the less likely she is able to pair bond it looses its meaning the more partners she has.
Not to mention the risk of STD’s and the higher risk of mental health problems study’s are clearly shown that the more body’s you have the more likely you are to have or develop mental health disorders. Just by that fact alone is reason enough to not be with women with high body counts. Not even counting the pair bonding and the divorce statistics.
Another study has shown women with 4 or less partners was at a 11% infidelity rate where women with 5 or more jumped to 21% so I could only imagine what the percentage would be for infidelity for a woman who had 20 or more partners.
And to add history has also shown thanks to DNA evidence that 80% of women would reproduce where only 40% of men would. So are you telling me that 40% of men were raising 80% of the children women were having? I’ll answer that for you. No freaking way.
30% of paternity test taken have found they are not the father and this study is still on going so the percentage could vary. my hypothesis is that number will be a bit higher. Where history has shown 40% of men were reproducing with 80% of the women.
So if you are thinking why does this even matter? It matters because this is another reason why men don’t like women with high body count. The worst thing you could do to a man is him finding out the child he’s grown to love and care for isn’t even his own blood. It is mens worst fear and this is why the instinct is strong in most men where they are repulsed by high body count.
since the 60’s when the sexual revolution started marriage rates have plummeted along with a list of other issues so what changed that caused this to happen? Women’s body count.
I can keep going with reasons why you should not date a woman with high body count. But I imagine that this is long enough and more than enough reason to stay away from high body count women. It is just a really bad gamble on the likelihood of having a successful relationship with a woman with high body count.
High body count: it lowers you value, it's simple as that. A man who show respect to himself will never date with a women with a high body count. It's like buying a second used car lol....
That's a pretty bad analogy. A used car doesn't function at the level a new car would, a woman who has had sex with lots of guys can still have amazing sex with the next guy she gets with.
@@TheJoshSpeaks That's your problem, dude. You're treating the woman as if her function is having sex. When men get married they're usually looking for a mother to their kids more so than a sex partner... Not to say they don't want the latter. Just to say it's the less important function.
@@ZIbroweed So what do past sexual partners have to do with a woman's ability to be a good mother to your children? She's not actively having sex with other people.
I don't believe a person has a prescribed function, I think it's self-defined and influenced by a number of factors like biological drives, societal norms, etc.
As for determining the importance of any function, that's best left to the individual. Would you agree?
@@TheJoshSpeaks Everyone has his own opinion. Most men i know reject women who has a high body count most women with high body count are damaged women from the past, not loyal, and have more chance to cheat with you with a another men. Those women aren't loyal or a wife material. As a good looking I have standards my friend. Not going to date with a ho....Have a nice day.
@@TheJoshSpeaks To your first question I'll say that the more partners either parent has had the less stable the family is. If you've practiced a pattern of bonding, becoming unsatisfied and then leaving, you're more likely to perpetuate that pattern when your kids need you not to.
To your second point I'll say this. People are multi-functional, but when you're looking for a person to fill a role, you should never leave it up to the person you're looking for to define what functions are relevant to the role. For example if I were looking for an employee to handle tax documents I would evaluate them on their financial knowledge, ability to handle spreadsheets and ledgers etc. Likewise if I were looking for a wife, I would look for someone who would make a good partner for my intended future actions. Most men who bother looking for a wife intend to have children so her quality as a mother is going to be a big factor in how well she's suited to being a partner.
I believe each individual gets to decide what's important to them, but that's only if they're fine being alone. If they want to be with someone else then they need to negotiate that relationship, and part of that negotiation is considering what that other person wants to be an important part of what you want for yourself.
Body count has roots in nature. No freaking dude wants doubt who the father of the offspring.
What does fathering the offspring of someone else have to do with body count? I'm always so confused when people make this disjointed point because you can be with several partners and not have any children.
In those cases, you then would have no worries at all since you're not fathering the offspring of someone else? I would imagine not because your argument is making two separate points so all you can really do from here is shift the goal post to another random argument.
@@TheJoshSpeaks holy shit this answer is beyond ignorant josh. You can’t be serious.
@@TheJoshSpeaks you're either trolling or retarded. what does your girlfriend sleeping with 100 people have to do with the certainty that your kid you have with her is yours? that's seriously your question?
@TheJoshSpeaks he is saying that this obsession started a long time ago. In the past if a woman is pregnant and she has been ran through then there was no way to find out who the father was. That's why prostitutes were rejected by society in history, even though many men in history slept with prostitutes.
Nature ? What do you think how high the body count was a the first humans that actually lived like animals ?
Stop making this type of videos.
We care about Body Count for multiple reason.
Women with high body count will.
1. Easily replace you
2. Easily get bored and will not stick around
3. Chases attention, not success.
4. Will argue with you for being unperfect
5. Will manipulate or play with your feelings.
6. Will flirt with other guys etc etc
7. Higher chance of cheating.
There so much more being with a women with higher body count. I rather be alone than with someone who will ruined me.
I work hard for who i become and suddenly everything is ruined cuz i pick a wrong woman.
Picking a right woman is very very important. More important than money!. Choose wisely!!
Hey if you didn't like this video, you're definitely not going to like the video that I'm putting out next week. I walk through some of the displays of insecurity that guys showcase when talking about why they are incredibly concerned, or even obsessed with making sure they get with a girl with a low body count.
Oddly enough, you mentioned some of the reasons there in your list. Your fear around your partner not thinking you are good enough or them, getting bored of you if you can't keep their interest and fear that they're going to cheat on you or take advantage of you simply because they've had past partners.
@@TheJoshSpeaks
I respect all types of women. World is a mess up place only strong thrives.
High body count just mean that a girl will not be strong enough to be a good mother.
I have met both pure and high body counts women. They are both so different.
High Body Count women -
1. Very secretive and boring.
2. Fake showing that they care.
3. Flirty to other males or dress flirty
4. Usually tats and piercing asking for attention
5. You see them with watery eyes more often. Like crying is so normal to them
6. Can't handle stress, will argue with you or walkout.
Would love to write down for more but my time is limited.
Low body count or Virgin Women -
1. Motivated and Goal focus.
2. Will listen and show their true self.
3. Friendly but not flirty.
4. Will stick around to their BF and Husband or proud to be with their partner.
5. Wife and career material. or just be a wife or work part-time.
6. Sometimes they throw their money to their family or siblings.
7. Argue with you sometimes but will not hold anger against you.
8. No time for manipulation or games.
I do found some of this types of women but sadly they all mostly taken. This is why men will go for younger women.
Most young women are innocent but depending on her personality she could become high body count women.
If all u do is FK* Ur life must be meaningless and boring.
Again i respect all women. But i would fking simp for a pure, low body count women.
What evidence do you have to suggest a woman with a sexual past would be unfit to be a good mother? That's a pretty wild claim, I hope you can support it with some kind of evidence.
The same goes for the rest of your points. You've seem to have created caricatures of women based on this one selective factor. I would encourage you to think a little more outside of the box about women and recognize that everyone has their own unique story, experiences and life.
The same applies for men with high body counts.
Don’t listen to this guy gents
It matters big time
Care to explain how it matters in any meaningful way?
@@TheJoshSpeaks I don’t wanna marry a chick who’s been around the block
Plus it has been proven women with 5 or more body count have a hard time staying in a relationship and the chance off divorce is significantly higher
@codoflife6115 There is a correlation that relationship satisfaction is lower and rates of divorce are higher if either the man or woman have had more past sexual partners, but it's not a matter that has been proven to be causal.
If your concern is with leaving the relationship or getting divorced, do you think her body count are the strongest (or one of the strongest) indicators of that happening? There is no research to say that is so.
I dont see an issue with not wanting to be with a girl that has had past sexual partners, as long as you hold that same consistency for yourself.
@@TheJoshSpeaksjust admit it dude... u r an idiot
@@TheJoshSpeaksjust admit it dude... u make no sense. U r literally advicing self destructive tips to men.
No, that isn't why we want a low body count. It isn't from insecurity or resentment for not matching her number.
Girls with lower body counts pair bond much easier, their pair bond and attachment is stronger, their behavior is more feminine and nurturing and cooperative.
High body count breeds bad behavior in women. It is as simple as that.
💯
Exactly as I suspect he is trying to convince men to overlook a woman’s promiscuous past and accept them for simply existing. An example of placing women on a pedestal.
Exactly this.
I think men just hate competition. Women always bond with sex.
@@alias4506 competition to what?
And no. They don’t. The more women sleep around the less likely they will be able to emotionally bond with someone. They just chase the dopamine high. Men know that women who are promiscuous are a bad choice when starting a relationship. Chances of cheating are higher and chances of having a child that isn’t his are higher.
Men are disgusted by women with higher body count. Sure they will sleep with a woman with a high body count but they won’t commit to her unless he has no other options. Which in that case the woman most likely won’t want him anyway.
Someone give this guy the Matrix of Simpship... 🤦🏾♂️
Who am I simping for?
Exactly
@ttamcc.4674 there's nothing better than unhelpful, ambiguous comments like that.
Someone calls you a name and rather than explaining why you are that thing, the gesture is to just weakly side step it because the original commenter, nor the other responder have an actual point to be made.
For anyone reading this and wondering how to deal with bullying and name calling, this is all you have to do.
@@TheJoshSpeaks your words and everything tells u r one pathetic simp with no spine, standard and self respect. People clearly sees it.
@@TheJoshSpeaksyou are advocating for women with high bodycount. Trying to convince men it’s *not* a liability to date women with high body count.
So you advocating for women with high bodycount makes you a simp.
You can argue this point all you want but men are going to view you this way.
Body count goes up, time goes by, value goes down, followed by standards.
Why does a girls value go down? Are you equating value with sexlessness and age?
@@TheJoshSpeaks equating that it’s a fact the more men a woman sleep with she looses her ability to pair bond and the likelihood of her cheating is high. If you want to be a cuck that’s cool you do you
Hey, your point about pair bonding isn't fully reflective of any data. I'm sure you heard some random TH-camr say it so you're repeating the point but pair bonding is a re-wiring of the chemicals within the brain in regards to oxytocin release during sexual activity. If a woman maintains lots of casual sexual encounters there is correlative (not causal) data that shows a correlation but you can't (nor does any of the research) definitively claim that the two are connected.
But let's say they were for the sake of the argument here, a woman can repair that pair bonding process then simply by settling down with a loving partner. She can rewire her ability to feel oxytocin release when she's around someone safe, understanding and comforting.
To act as if a woman has the ability to pair bond and loses it when she has casual sex to the point where it would be irreparable is scare tactics. I would encourage you to read the data on this.
As for the higher likelihood of cheating, this is another correlative point which based on the data does not make any definitive claim as to more partners being the reason. In fact, if you look at the research you'll see that socio-economic background, cultural practices and race tend to also be factors that play a role in the higher likelihood of cheating so there is nothing conclusive here.
You can call people who understand the data cucks but I would rather be called a cuck by you than to actually be a fool.
Can you elaborate on what "sharing her spirit" means?
@@TheJoshSpeaks you say a woman can rewire her brain by settling down with a partner. Why would A self respecting man who has built himself up waste his time fixing a damaged woman who spent her time on a oxytocin binge with a bunch of random men when he could find himself a woman who doesn’t need to “rewire” her brain to have the ability to properly bond with him? The hole “rewiring” statement just sounds like another word for therapy.
reading that from you does in-fact make you sound like a fool.
What benefits does a man get being with a woman with a high body count? Sexual experience? You can build that experience with a woman who’s had no partners. And it would be a more intimate and meaningful experience. You can’t get that with a woman with a high body count. A woman who throws herself around communicates to me she has low moral standards and doesn’t value herself and it shows she has no self control. And with no self control you see relationships get destroyed.
No guy wants to run his car with retreaded tires… Stop trying to justify it.. I am not saying slightly used tires.. I am saying worn out retreaded 5$ tires.
Your analogy doesn't make sense. Worn tires affect the performance of the car. A high body count doesn't affect the sex quality you would have with the woman.
@Ben the analogy still doesn't make sense. A higher body count doesn't affect the quality of sex you can have with the girl.
His point rests on this idea that a girl is used which is silly. If there was a girl who was only in one 5-year relationship ever where she had sex regularly with her boyfriend, is she also "used" because she had sex a lot? People use their weird and dumb analogies to try and simplify the topic but they are constantly offering false equivocations.
@@TheJoshSpeaks The ability to make good decisions tells you quite a bit of what you need to know about someone. Impulsive behavior is a bad trait. Like the analogy or not unless you’re a SIMP body count will count to a man with morals.
@@rommel5241 You're making assertions here and assuming that having multiple sex partners by default is bad. You're then saying it's by default impulsive behavior but that's not always true.
Can you explain your beliefs or do you just want to assert them over and over.
@Ben I'm not sure how you got that I'm objectifying girls, you're literally comparing them to tires here lol
I'm trying to explain that if your example is about the quality of experience with that thing, it doesn't make sense when applied to sex with a girl that has a high body count.
A girl doesn’t want to date a guy with a high body count either. It goes both ways.
standards are not a bad thing, this guy is bad
I agree, standards are great. However how we come about those standards should be based on some sort of principals. If your standard is just "I don't like it because I don't like it", that certainly is a standard, but not a principled one.
@TheJoshSpeaks every standard have principles behind it
@muhammadfadhil1681 not necessarily true, some standards can be based on prejudice, fear or insecurity.
There are no principles behind those beyond hurt feelings.
@@TheJoshSpeaksstandards are there to protect people its just like a woman who was heartbroken by a broke man she decides she does not want to go threw it again hence she creates sleeping around is not really seen as respectable
@godwillbongani5240 I'm a bit confused by your example. You're saying that a woman who got her heart broken by a man will then decide to sleep with lots of men and because of that she loses her sense of respect?
What do the two have to do with each other? Why shame a woman who makes that decision for herself? What is the standard you are proposing people follow?
I showed my girlfriend and her 15 friends your video and they said you’re very feminine. A man SHOULD care about body count because someone who so easily gives out their body is not seen as valuable. I don’t care how you spin it. The value of someone trumps from their elusiveness and their scarcity. I hope you understand this concept, and have the logic to be able to process it.
Why is value determined by elusivness and scarcity? You seem to be prescribing it that value but can you explain why that is something we should value?
Does that hold for every aspect of dating? For example, you have a girlfriend who I'm assuming you're not going to engage with in any sexual way unless you plan on marrying her to preserve both yours and her "elusiveness and scarcity". Or perhaps one can say neither of you are elusive and scarce because you have had a loving partner before and if you do get married to someone else down the line, they won't be your first love.
Do you see how your determination is a bit subjective there?
Hey there's nothing wrong with being feminine.
Also there are lots of women who like slightly feminine men. That's why they like Kpop.
Big difference between 5-15 previous partners and 70+
What's the meaningful difference?
@@TheJoshSpeaks Your a SIMP for even asking that.
@@rommel5241 the fact that the question remained unanswered says more about him and you than it does about me.
@@TheJoshSpeaks He can easily answer the question with the work RISK. And that is RISK at multiple levels. That could be why he does not answer. It’s obvious to almost everyone. Or he might just have notifications silenced? No answer is not a sign of you being correct at any level.
@@rommel5241 I never said it was a sign of me being correct, but simply a sign that he hasn't defended his point.
I already addressed the issue of risk in my other comment, whether a person has had 1 or 100 partners the simple answer is to get tested and have them do the same. There goes your worry about risk.
Poor Josh is getting roasted in the comments. It's never about the guy feeling insecure or intimidated. As stated in the comments, many guys see high body count the way an employer sees a prospective employee with a long list of short term jobs, there's lack of stability and commitment. Will any guy be thrilled to commit to someone like that? Hell no!! and... if you want to go that route..then good luck to you.
The problem with that example is that you're looking at a person's behavior when they aren't looking for a monogamous relationship and using that as your benchmark for whether they want to or can be monogamous.
A more accurate example would be an employer looking for a new employee and seeing a contractor that has worked across many different companies and industries being a valuable asset to their company because they have lots of experience.
The research already shows that being promiscuous doesn't make you any less likely to form a relationship.
@@TheJoshSpeakspromiscuity confirms unstable relationship which doesnt last leaving both men and woman miserable u fooool. That's the point
@user-hs9wj5ji4y actually promiscuity doesn't confirm unstable relationships, what the research shows is that people with more past sexual partners tend to have lower rates of relationship satisfaction and higher rates of divorce. This holds for both men and women, not just women exclusively.
What doesn't exist is any kind of causal connection between past sexual partners and relationship dissatisfaction, meaning there could be other underlying causes that correlate as well that might hold more significant weight. Some of those factors could be personality traits (we can observe that certain types of personality traits when identified by the big 5 lend themselves more to impulsively and more), socio-economic status (depending on your standard of living you might be more or less likely to be happy in your relationship and/or have it lead to divorce. For example women with college degrees tend to have the lowest rates of divorce), or religious/cultural upbringing (having a faith based family and culture might lead you to avoid the pursuit of dating in favor of the pursuit of marriage, meaning you are a bit more willing to verify your partner or to end up with someone who has the same beliefs and values that you do).
All of that is to say that promiscuity is not the underling factor, it is a trait that stems from potentially something more rooted. Because of that it's not true to say that if a woman is promiscuous she will encounter those challenges, but rather understanding that it is one of many potential factors, with the weight associated to it not being as clear according to the research.
Oh and also I would avoid the name calling, it doesn't help your argument here and all it does it make you look like a 5th grader hurling insults.
@@TheJoshSpeaks idddiot ur first para is what i am exactly pointing out. Based on this point promiscuity or lots of seggsual activity for both men and woman is harmful. U r overthinking and overcomplicating.
JUST LOOK AT YOUR COMMENT SECTION. Everyone is disagreeing with u. Why???... nobody brainwashed them into hating u. They r telling u self evident truth. Time and again it has proven and is self evident like sky appearing blue that WOMAN WITH HIGH BODIES IS TO BE AVOIDED.
r u really from planet earth??
@@TheJoshSpeaks i'll name call u dummmbbby bcos u literally act and sound dummmbbb
A high body count means lack of self control imo. I don't think men should have a high body count either. You're story about 1 guy wasn't good evidence at all to support worrying about body count brings stress.
How is it a lack of self control? Doesn't that imply that they are trying to not engage with lots of partners but are struggling/failing to do so?
If a person is making the choice to do it and wants to do it then they are exercising full control over their decisions.
@@TheJoshSpeaksYes if they're choosing to have sex then it's not a lack of self control, it's another problem from my point of view. You can execute full control over your decisions and still make bad decisions. My dad was an alcoholic and he was fully wanting to keep drinking alcohol which lead to his early death. He told me "if you told me this was the drink to kill me I'd still drink it". Yet was exercising full control too.
If they are fully choosing to have lots of partners then it's not a lack of self control but rather a different view on what sex is. I don't think sex is something that should be freely given, and I hold it to a high enough value in my beliefs that I think everyone should try to have less sex to make an eventual marriage more intimate. In fact I think if someone is choosing to have a high body count they don't at all hold sex to the same values as I do. Meaning that there's an incompatibility in just how we view sex and our beliefs. In which case the argument is going to be all based on your views.
I think that's a fair point to make. If you are looking for a partner that you want to follow the same standard you do (waiting till marriage to have sex) then I think that's totally fine.
Where we may disagree is labeling something a bad decision on the basis that it doesn't align with your beliefs. I think in order to make that call, we would need to point to objective facts about the decision that we can most likely study and gather research on to determine if the decision is in fact a bad one.
In the case of your dad, which I'm sorry to hear that you had an experience like that, we can objectively see how alcohol can harm the body, and how alcohol can become an addiction to some (as can sex and being promiscuous can). With casual sex I don't think we can look at that specific act and pin point how it may be harmful to the body or to someone else like we can with alcohol which is why I have a harder time just outright classifying it as a bad decision.
@@TheJoshSpeaks Yeah I get that it may not be seen as bad decision to all. The statistics show both good and bad things for being sexually active and having casual sex with multiple partners. I think at the end of the day it's going to be an opinion. Like the stock market. Investing in a specific stock has pros and cons, and the decision being good or bad is a matter of opinion. I would say choosing to be sexually active is a decision in the same stride. That's why I tried to express that it was my opinion that it was a bad decision in choosing to have many sexual partners.
Not everyone would agree with me. I think it's a bad decision largely based on life experiences. My mom became pretty sexually active after my father passed, and it led to having 2 accidental children and the eventual contraction of an STD. I guess my views are very backed by past experiences in my life but just from my prospective the cons out weigh the pros, making it a bad decision to have many partners (again my opinion). I completely agree that not everyone may see it as a bad decision. I just don't think I was completely clear that I was saying it's a bad decision as my opinion not as a fact.
It's hard to feel like a winner when you invest your love in a woman and find yourself sharing knowledge of her with strange men
What makes a guy a winner, someone who she decides to be in a relationship or have sex with now in the present or someone who she has had sex with in the past?
@@TheJoshSpeaks Women have higher value for relationships when they are younger and when they are more chaste because that is when they are more attractive to men. Having her first means having her younger, closer to her prime, and without having to share her with anyone. If it doesn't work out, the next guy has a worse situation and the first guy may feel bad for losing her but he can take solace in knowing he had her first. The fiftieth guy has no such advantage and therefore would be stupid to allow himself to catch feelings for her if he knows about her past. Her goal should be to spare the man who genuinely loves her from experiencing psychological trauma from knowledge of her past promiscuity.
@SoundsSilver that's a pretty weird way to view peoples value. Determining a woman's worth based on her "purity" seems like such a limited way to see someone. If you're determining if a partner may be right for you based on whether you "had them first" then you are going to miss out on lots of wonderful relationships.
Plus, where do you draw the line of purity? If a woman kisses another guy before you is she no longer pure? What if she enters into a relationship, falls in love with someone but never does anything sexual with them. Is she no longer pure because she loved someone before you?
I think if a guy is going to be psychologically hurt by the fact that he wasn't first to do anything with a girl then he needs to spend a little more time nurturing his inner wounds and insecurities. That sounds entirely like a personal issue that is just being projected on to the women he would want to date.
@@TheJoshSpeaks I encourage you to experience love with a virginal woman and also with a former prostitute. At that time you can reflect on what you say and decide if you possess the same instinct that most men possess. It's not a matter of some unrelated insecurity, it's the facts of the situation that generate insecurities. Speak with a promiscuous woman who believes body count doesn't matter and is a product only of a man's insecurities. Ask her how she would feel if she knew that love, commitment, gifts, travel, etc. were forthcoming from the man she loves to various other women prior to her.
Go ask a woman to prom. When she rejects you, ask another. Repeat this twenty times. When you finally reach a woman who has a crush on you and adores you, she will accept. How will she feel when she learns of your lack of selectivity? Clearly you chose her, but you choose many, and carelessly. This is evidence of how little your affection is worth independently of her own feelings. It's not a matter of petty insecurities as you like to believe.
Scarcity creates value, and this shows his love to be cheap. The most effort she puts in, the more she loves him, the more her doubts about his sincerity will grow.
It's telling but hardly surprising that the content of your reply was nothing more than judgment and shaming. It's clear from your videos that you don't have an open mind on this subject nor have much experience with it. Perhaps you should try to be less moralizing, less sanctimonious, and you may be humbled by what you learn before you have a chance to be humbled in life itself. After all, it is the competitive and masculine man who care most about being special to his woman.
@@SoundsSilver What you say sounds possessive and animalistic to me. Wanting young chaste girls in their prime and not wanting to "share" a living human being with anyone else... ew.
Don't worry about her body count, judge her by her body count haha
Why do you feel its necessary to judge someone by their body count?
@@TheJoshSpeaksself respect, self resistance, commitment/loyalty
@RoNaKPaTel-cn2ts how is a person sacrificing self-respect by choosing to share sexual experiences with people they consent with? I could maybe understand the argument if they were doing it for status, to gain fortune, fame, etc. but if it's just a person enjoying a casual open life, where is the disrespect to themselves in that equation?
Why is self resistance important when it comes to a consentual choice that doesn't hurt themselves or anyone else? Let's put aside potential risk of STDs and all because that's a separate argument but why value self resistance for self resistances sake?
How does having lots of sexual partners show a lack of commitment or loyalty? We're not talking about someone entering a relationship and breaking that commitment by cheating, we're talking about someone entering something casual with both parties understanding that it's casual. In that instance no one is being unloyal, so why raise that point?
@@TheJoshSpeaks @TheJoshSpeaks sex is a two people sharing love.. while in hookup, it's just fun, when the person start taking it as fun and have been through alot of hookups then person in relationship would try to replicate stuff she used to do rather than sharing love, ive seen em talking about sex, they takes it as more of a fun than intimacy/love
With commitment, ive seen lots of people with high body count struggle sticking to their partner (being loyal) and not giving affection and attention, ive seen them checking out other people and flirting other people, ive seen girls in relationship keeping their option open due to urge and guys flirting with em, it becomes hard to stop thinking that, ive talked to girls and they agreed with that part.. that's why it involves self resistance, commitment/loyalty issue..
At the end of the day most guys consider this as red flag that because it affects successful relationship percentage that whether it gonna sustain or not.. because you have to put time and value just to be treated like checking guys out, giving others affection and flirting.
Even if it's insecurity (which is not), if you put the perspective on it, it's the good insecurity to have.. 'cause you dont know the person you just met and having time on date.. it becomes your instinct that whether you wanna go all in or not and it also doesn't mean that all the girls gonna have these issue but we gotta talk about majority.. and last of regardless of who you are whether man/woman people do hookup, not because they craves sex, sure they does in between but for all just for that, they do with people who they are sexually attracted to, so your mind will pick up it as a habbit, it's like how porn affects brain.. you sure go without it but this is an important factor, but dont call others as insecure, it's just an instict that whether relationship will be successful, "most of the time" it wont.. and people have every rights to call off their relationship on because their time/value/money be wasted then but it's wrong to shame, i admit
@TheJoshSpeaks Potential stds, and pair bonding, or lack there of. High body count doesn't make a woman a bad person, just not a desirable thing to have in a mate.
Josh - we are NOT intimidated. This is a narrative that WOMEN promote; and here you are simping the same story.
Before you say its a category fallacy; its JUST like hiring an employee with a history of dozens of short term jobs. Your past is your future in all but the most SELF-AWARE cases. Women are just not that self-aware; they are solipsists.
I think if you read the comments on the main video that this short is from you'll see that there are plenty of guys who are intimidated. The concern is always that she may be more experienced and therefore it might make them look/feel inexperienced.
As to your example about hiring someone with a dozen short-term jobs, context would matter there wouldn't it? If a person is a freelancer they most likely would have had LOTS of different jobs to which a contractor like that would bring a lot of experience to the table.
If a person is not at a stage where they are pursuing long-term committed relationships, why would you judge them on the basis that you have been pursuing long-term committed relationships? Any time we base the expectations of others on what we would want, we're never going to be able to accept someone else and their own unique experiences because they will 100% always differ from our own.
Don’t bother, josh is a moron. Even when given evidence that he asks for he still will play word gymnastics around the question. Just simply ask why is it a good idea to date a woman with high body count. There is zero logical and reasonable explanation to do so. The guy has his head driven so far into the dirt there’s no saving him.
Hey I can answer that question pretty easily.
It can be a good idea to date a woman with a high body count because she may be more experience when it comes to understanding her sexual desires, needs and boundaries and it can lead to easier dialogue between you two so you can discover your peak of sexual activity and engagement.
Simple.
@@TheJoshSpeaks
you obviously dont have sex.
@@TheJoshSpeaks so you just proved my point that the relationship doesn’t go further than sexual satisfaction. Which is just using her for recreational use. Not forming a relationship.
Lol and once again I’m going to say I could build the same sexual experience with a woman with No body count. And have a better bond with her and meaningful relationship.
Still not a good reason josh. Your argument still stands on no ground.
Simple.
Not to mention it took you a month to come up with that reply. You get bored and wanted to hash up this old argument again?
dont care about her body count if im not putting a ring on it . but if i am putting a ring on it then body count is of highest importance
How does her past body count affect her ability to be a good wife to you?
@@TheJoshSpeaks makes me more disposable in her eyes if we get in a argument it'll be much easier for a girl that has 10+ bodies to just get rid of me and find the next sucker , a girl w no body count may have more fear of finding someone new because their not as used to haveing multiple eggplants in them on the regular
@crazyinvestor5987 I hope you can realize that your reasoning is based on pure insecurity.
You're worried that your girlfriend may not value you or care about you enough as a partner, so rather focusing on wanting to find someone who cares about open communication and building that skill up yourself, you'd rather get someone who is inexperienced in both sexual experience and relatio ships so you can possibly manipulate her in the situation so she won't leave.
I hope you can one day grow from your fears and develop the skills needed to form health bonds with people because any girl who gets with you now is going to have to face your insecurities and be subject to a pretty unhealthy relationship.
@@TheJoshSpeaks your living in fantasy land , have fun "opening up " to ur 30 + yr old western feminist that "cares about you" , i'll be over here manipulating these 20 yr old girls . n i dont like them cuz their " inexperienced " i like them cuz the chochas tighter : P
jeez man, your comment reeks of immaturity. "Cuz the chochas tighter"?
I think we can both realize that you don't really have any arguments to stand on so you've resorted to juvenile lines like that. Thank you for the discussion though, I hope people who read this can get something out of it.
It’s really sad that men have to justify why a man would feel stressed knowing that his dealing with a woman with a high body count, naturally it would, and so he should that’s not accomplishment and studies show women pair bond during sex so how can a woman who has a high body count bond with a man after so much sexual experiences, it’s like telling a person to get with a drug addict and hope for the best it won’t work.
I'm not sure you understand how pair bonding works exactly. I'm posting a video on it this Saturday walking through the research and studies surrounding pair bonding so I would check that out when you can.
As for a man justifying why he would feel stressed, I think it's important to know what influences our stress factors and for us to analyze whether they are based on anything beyond social conditioning.
We can look through studies if you want, that's what I've been doing for the last few weeks now. This is not comparable to telling someone to get with a drug addict because having a high body count doesn't imply that they will a.) cheat on you, b.) divorce you, c.) give you a disease.
@@TheJoshSpeaks a woman having a high body count shows that she can’t pair bond effectively with a man, especially if she has had many men inside of her, a lot of these women find it hard to settle down because their brain has been messed up by so much sexual encounters, women like this don’t just settle down and unfortunately if they do is a poor sucker that ends up taking them on. Women were born virgins for a reason, and sex is a vast very powerful thing for a woman so if a woman with a high body count gets with a man it’s not likely to last because sex no longer because something she can bond though due to the amount of men she has been with. High body count women are dangerous and I know this from experience not from studies 😌
Real life experiences teach you way more than just studies
Men don’t bond with women though sex either which is why men can have sex with multiple women and not feel attracted to her as men don’t release oxytocin from sex like women do.
@glecservices3114 hey, you're incorrect about a few things here. I'll list them out so it's easier to follow:
1. Research supports the idea that a high body count doesn't impare a woman's ability to pair bond in the future.
2. There is no evidence to support this idea that sex no longer means anything to a woman with a high body count. Yes, there is a correlation that both men and women who have had multiple partners have lower rates of marital satisfaction and higher rates of divorce but no study indicates that a high body count is the reason, merely that their exists a correlation.
3. Men do in fact release oxytocin during sex and they do in fact bond with women during sex, just not at the rate that they would with a partner that meets all four criteria of pair bonding: sex, attraction, romance and friendship.
Women have been shown to release higher levels of oxytocin but oxytocin is not the only factor in sexual bonding. In fact, women only orgasm around 5% of the time during casual sex which means they are less likely to full experience a full sexual bonding, where as a man will orgasm the majority of the time.
I'm not interested in your personal experience here because it doesn't add anything to the overall discussion. You can share your story and I can find someone else's story that runs counter to you so we're left still at the same point.
I just posted a video on my channel breaking down pair bonding and body count if you're interested in diving into the research though.
If you check it out, I'll look forward to your feedback.
@@glecservices3114 Problem is that men think the body count is too high above 5 or something. It is ridiculous and has nothing to do with pair bonding. This is just control and possession. 5 is not 100 or something...
@@TheJoshSpeaksI’m not sure you understand how pair bonding works either.
Dude you have a girl as a friend 😂😂 I think you are the last person to tell any guy any advise🤔
What's wrong with having girl friends?
😂
@@yaiqabsupplanter1252 do you also struggle to make friends that are girls?
@@TheJoshSpeaks ? How many women have you actually screwed what straight man keeps girl "friends" 🤣
@yaiqabsupplanter1252 Do you have sex with all your female coworkers? Or all the wives of other couples that you meet that you are friends with? Or any other number of situations where your primary goal is not to pursue someone to have sex?
The whole concept that men can't have female friends just signals such a juvenile way of looking at women where the only way you can interact with them is by wanting to have sex with them.
Guys are “obsessed” with body count because it’s a preference, I’ll be dead if any of you men let this guy convince you to stop caring about body count, to push a preference you have aside. Women have preferences just like we have.
A preference doesn't warrant an obsession. I may prefer eating pizza over ice cream, but that doesn't imply that I'm obsessed with pizza.
You seem to just be reasserting that you prefer it without giving context as to why? No one is telling guys to drop their preference, I'm simply trying to investigate why they hold that preference, and what factors have influenced them or swayed them to see it something that is important. I also think a preference that some women may have for something doesn't justify a preference that some men may have for something, and vice versa. Someone may hold a preference based on fear, insecurity, social conditioning, religious beliefs, personal experience, and a whole host of other reasons. That doesn't mean that the preference is good for them or good for society as a whole to be reinforced and not challenged.
Would you happen to elaborate on your own personal reason as to why?
@@TheJoshSpeaks notice how I quote and unquoted the word “obsessed”, you’re assuming every man is obsessed, therefore your analogy of pizza and icecream or whatever it reads is irrelevant to me, again because I myself personally am not “obsessed”. Why do I have this preference? Depends on what exactly you are trying to get out of “investigating” people’s preferences. What are you trying to get out of your “investigations”? I mean seems kinda crazy to me, if you think about it all preferences will be “unjustified”, from height, to bodycount to personality. There’s a reason it’s called a preference, it’s accustomed to whatever the individual human wants. “Justifying” preferences is ridiculous you’re wasting your own breath. God forbid I want a female according to my preferences.
@sandornibba9794 what did I say that made you believe that I think every man is obsessed?
Also, preferences are definitely things we can investigate. We may have preferences for all kinds of things that can be harmful. Understanding the root of them allow us to become more mindful, inclusive, and understanding people. Preferences, as well as prejudices, are rarely inherent, so being able to dive into why we think things may be disgusting, evil, wrong, degenerate, immoral, etc. is worth looking into.
You seem really hung up on just leaving things as they are. If you're satisfied with "because it is the way it is" as an explanation for your thoughts, behaviors and feelings then that's fine with you.
You came to this video to engage in the discussion though, so you felt some need to express how you feel at the end of the day. Why then do you have a problem with someone asking why you feel the way you do?
I don’t know why you all flaming this guy in the chat. You don’t realize we need guys like this , who else is going to wife them up after I’m done with her?
I presume you don't hold yourself to the same standards that you expect of women?
😂😂😂😂 yeah...
@@TheJoshSpeaksNo not the same standard that would be very stupid. Men and women are different. Do you think both should be kept to the same standard ?
So if we are walking down the street and someone comes to mug us and I fight them off , should I expect her to fight the next mugger off ? Should we take turns and hold each other to the same standard in that regard as well ?
If I have a body count of 50 i still expect hers to be low. This isn’t insecurity , that’s what guys like you say to make yourself feel better about having to commit to low quality women because you don’t want to face the truth and that is , you are her last choice.
Just like if 10 muggers comes to us in 10 years I expect to fight them all off and her to fight off none.
What went wrong in your upbringing that you do not realize that ? You’re here on TH-cam teaching guys how to have a loser mentality like you .
@novatalks3657 We can presume that people are held to the same standards unless there is a meaningful difference as to why they shouldn't.
In your example you may possess greater physical strength so you might he held to a higher standard to protect the person with less physical strength.
In regards to sexual standards you have presented zero reason why we should hold men and women to different ones, other than to simply assert that it is "stupid" to do otherwise.
So moral of this story that Josh can’t seem to grasp here is the guy who was “seeing” this girl with high body count didn’t want to have the “label” of boyfriend and girlfriend because he was using her for sex and did not want to commit to a woman with high bodycount. She’s for recreational use. Not long term relationships.
Why would I want to be the town bike?
Do you reduce everyone to their partner count?
I am not intimidated with any girls’ body counts. I just don’t want to have a woman that other men had. I think my possessive trait is quite strong in this topic 😂😂😂 but I have pride in my life and what I have achieved! There are plenty of fishes on the Earth!
I shouldnt compare women to cars but im gonna make an example imagine you saved up 10 years for a certain beautiful car from age 16 and struggled throughout those years only to find one that has lots of mileage and engine problems. Idk maybe someone else can make a better analogy
These types of analogies always fail to illustrate their point because it's not a fair equivalence (miles to sexual partners).
A car with more miles becomes less capable of performing its function well (driving). A girl with lots of past sexual partners is not less capable of performing any kind of sexual functions.
I also think there's an issue with the idea of waiting for this "perfect" woman because it implies that a woman who may have had a few boyfriends over the years that she had sex with is somehow less of a desirable woman. It starts to fall into the territory of dehumanizing people based on an arbitrary thing like past sexual partners.
Stop comparing women to objects
And why your allowed to call people they are insecure because what they believe
A belief can be rooted in insecurity if the belief is disgust at how other people choose to live their lives without harming others.
@@TheJoshSpeaksPlenty of harm that you are ignorant of.
@@curcumin417 Can you explain how it is causing harm to someone else?
@@TheJoshSpeaks STIs is the primary one
@curcumin417 if a person is intentionally spreading STIs then that's a problem, but not everyone with a high body count has an STI nor do they hide it if they do.
You're concern while valid, is irrelevant to someone having a high body count.
Because guys don’t want to be with someone whom isn’t attractive to them and most guys don’t find those women attractive. Pretty simple really.
I agree, we usually don't want to be with someone we aren't attracted to. I would just question why knowing that a girl has had past partners is not attractive. What's at the root of those feelings?
My ex had a body count of 74 and he cheated multiple times. People with high body counts are not marriage material and can't keeo the strong bond us normal people can. It's that simple
Do you think your personal experience with your ex can be applied to all people?
I was done after I heard “this is a girl I’m friends with”
What's the issue with being friends with a girl that has had a lot of past partners?
Or is your objection to just being friends with a girl?
@@TheJoshSpeaks it just sounded funny and ironic said right after “I know a girl with a very high body count”
@@setokiba7611 I'm not sure what's the funny part though, is it off-putting to you to be friends with a girl who has had lots of past sexual partners?
@@TheJoshSpeaks in this context, the lack of accountability for her actions, and that strictly platonic relationships between opposite genders without any sexual tension either from the male or female are extremely rare is why people are saying that you’re a “simp”. Just asking tho, are you one of the many tallies this woman has?
Where do you get the impression that there's a lack of accountability for her actions? A person choosing to have sex with different people doesn't forego accountability if someone else decides to not date them.
As for our friendship being strictly platonic, I think whether there is sexual tension or not, we all have the capacity to choose when and when not to pursue/engage someone sexually. Having female friends, even when you're attracted to them is not an impossible task as long as you prioritize the friendship over the pursuit of anything romantic with them. This black and white notion that you must be either strictly friends with no romantic attraction or trying to hook up with each other only fuels this divide a lot of guys experience in pursuing female friends and experiencing the benefits of having them.
I'm not sure how that makes me a simp though. I have made plenty of videos about girls that I have found myself in the simp position for, primarily in high school when I would do anything for attention from the girls I liked with the hope that they would like me back, but just stating "a girl that I'm friends with" and drawing the conclusion that I must be in the friend-zone simply because is a bit reductive in what friendships can look like.
As for me and her, I'm not a past partner of hers, although her body count played no role in the matter.
I'm proud of this comment section 😊
Me too, I feel like we've had some good discussion exposing a lot of the problematic ways guys think about this topic.
@@TheJoshSpeaks yeah. This subject is quite relative, yk? But is always good to see other visions and think in a critical way.
@@TheJoshSpeaks
“Problematic ways”
Your opinion, not a fact.
Men are entitled to have a preference.
@Quetzalcoatl_22 of course my opinion is not a fact, no opinion is.
What gave you the impression that I believe men are not entitled to have their own preferences? How would someone not be entitled to have preferences?
@@TheJoshSpeaks
“If you don’t want a woman with a high body count, that means you’re insecure”
Need I say more?
Bro i just don't want an stds
If that's your concern, then just get tested before every sexual encounter and only sleep with people who just got tested. Problem solved.
That’s it
High body count shows alot about a person.
-what kind of respect you have for your own value and body.
- how you view sex
- standards for a partner
Etc:
I dont understand how so many people these days sleep with 60-300 people and think its not a big deal. Sex is the pinnacles of a couples relationship (just ask a guy). As soon as (most) men show you attention, its not because they want to marry you… they just want to get you in bed. And the type of girl that fits in well with that is a girl with a high body count. That trash guy know hes gonna get you in bed as soon as he finds out your high body count. They don’t respect you nor care about you. Theyll wine and dine you to gain the ultimate goal.
Woman please respect your bodies and have some dignity for yourselves.
How does having casual sex mean you respect your own value and body any less than not having casual sex? If I was proud of my muscles and showed them off to people by wearing sleeveless shirts, does that mean I value myself any less or my body any less because I enjoy sharing it with others?
As for how a person views sex, wouldn't it mean they enjoy sex? Whats is the implication there in your statement?
And when it comes to standards for a partner, are you referring to standards for a long term partner or a casual one? I would imagine for most people, the criteria would be different.
I also noticed you shifted the purpose and desire for why a woman would want to have casual sex to be framed from the intentions of the guy she's having sex with. If she is not looking for anything serious and neither is he, how would he be taking any kind of advantage of her?
So your comparing your external appearance with the act of sex.? Your appearance is based off of how you would like to present yourself to others. Showing off your muscles is very different then a woman showing of her breast or other female features dont you think.? Theres no comparison with your argument.
The fact that you have to distinguish a relationship as “casual” or “long term” is your root problem. Specifically with to consenting adults There is no “casual” sex. You can say there is but its not. Sex is by nature both pleasurable AND procreative. The fact that most use contraceptions indirectly affirms your knowledge that sex is procreative. Sex is the singular way a man and woman create a new human being therefore naturally demands extraordinary precautions to the act not “casual” standards.
As for the view of sex… everyone who engages in a mutual act of sex is therefore consenting to the ultimate pinnacle of a realationship (children) or the possibility of children. Which is why its a problem when people say its ok to have a high body count. The more people you sleep with the higher the possibility of having an out of wedlock child beginning the broken family cycle again.
@@nickovify That's fair, my muscle analogy was only meant to demonstrate that how we demonstrate respect is self-determined, not externally determined. We can be influenced indeed, but ultimately we are the decision makes for what we consider respectful and disrespect regarding our own sense of being. You seemed to evade answering the question though.
I distinguish between casual sex (for the purpose of pleasure and not procreation) and procreational sex (for the purpose of creating a new life, I wouldn't even consider relationship sex to be purely procreational because it's not.) What do precautions have to do with the topic though? It's entirely possible to have casual sex, whether that's through natural non-procreational means (having sex while the girl is on her period, having sex while one partner is infertile, etc.) or non-natural means (using condoms, plan B, etc.) How then can you deny that casual sex can exist?
We can agree that there are levels of risk in having casual sex, but you made a bit of a pivot there by implying it's bad because there is risk to have a child and to begin a "cycle of the broken family". If your concern is based on the level of risk than you would see no issue with body count if the risk is mitigated to be nearly non-existent. I would imagine you wouldn't agree though so I'll list the questions on the table for you to answer.
1. How does having casual sex mean you respect your own value and body any less than not having casual sex?
2. How can you deny that casual sex exists when not all acts of sex lead to procreation?
3. Would you no longer have an issue with a person having a high body count if their risk level dropped to a non-existent level?
It's a matter of trust and reliability. For a woman to sleep around is easier as compared to having our maintaining long term monogamous relationships. So if a particular woman keeps on pulling up her body count only means that she is not likely to survive in long term monogamous relationships.
Whenever someone makes this point I'm not sure how one implies the other. Let's say for example that she works a bunch of small retail jobs because she would rather have some cash to do things like travel, spend more time with friends, etc. Then at some point she realizes she wants to earn more money so she decides to go to college, get a degree and look for a full time high paying job. Would it make sense for her employer to say "Well, you probably aren't a good fit for this job because in the past before you decided you wanted to get a full time job you were only taking small jobs"?
A person's priorities evolve as their life evolves. For a woman or a man, they may not be interested in a monogamous relationship at that stage of their life but that doesn't mean they are less likely to want, have or maintain a monogamous one at a different stage of their life.
Plus, people are always referencing how it's easier for a woman to sleep around which is always such an irrelevant point. Just because something is easier for you to do doesn't mean you wouldn't appreciate a different type of environment. If you were in school and breezing by your grades with ease, that doesn't mean you are going to appreciate getting a job later on any less when it may be a more challenging environment for you. Ease of access has nothing to do with the conversation really.
@@TheJoshSpeaks consider this as an employer you've two options of ideal candidate who seem equally deserving of the job but one has had 22 jobs in the past 5 years while I've had 2 jobs for the past 5 years, which one will hr choose.
@AbhinavPaulPOLY2563 kind of a bad example because some of the highest paying jobs have high turnover.
For example a programmer who has had 22 jobs in the past is probably well more experienced and valuable to their next job.
@@TheJoshSpeaks 22 jobs in 5 years he never really committed and created much of a difference stability issue. I'm an HR.
@AbhinavPaulPOLY2563 if a person was a contractor who worked for 22 jobs and then decided to settle down at a full time position, that would be a highly valuable employee because he carries a lot of experience from a lot of different workplaces.
I work in marketing so that's where my experience comes from.
There are many peer reviewed studies and clinical research on peer bonding after many sexual partners. The effects on women are quite intense. This gives me I’m a male feminist just to get laid vibes
I'm recording a video tonight on the research around pair bonding. Stay tuned because it sounds like you may not really understand what it means or how it works.
@@TheJoshSpeaks nah. You are a straight up simp dude.
Given the research that you've come across, what was the take away point from it?
@@TheJoshSpeaks oh good I’m excited to see this shitshow.
Honestly no joke here, I'm looking forward to your feedback and the discussion that will ensue afterwards. Yes, we are taking shots at each other but I do enjoy the back and forth.
No, I just avoid them.
Lmao, you deleting my comments that are citing the research that high body count is bad. So, you are manipulating data to suit your bias instead of having proper discussion?
You might delete this too but just try to be objective, so no one makes crappy decisions by watching this video.
Hey, I haven't deleted any of your comments. I'm wondering if TH-cam is blocking it because you are posting links?
Share the names of the studies you're referencing instead and let me check the comments held for review. Otherwise I think I've been pretty objective here. I'm just deeply analyzing your reasoning for things and trying my best to outline the disjointed jumps in your arguments (discipline all the way to divorce rates in Asian countries).
@@TheJoshSpeaksokay sorry for being presumptive. Will post later.
Also, I only transitioned to divorce rates, coz I have made my point regarding casual sex being addiction and lack of self control. I can bring out research papers but I got no time to search for the references.
We can draw a correlation between people using casual sex as an addiction, but you can't outright say it's a lack of self control because that would be an erroneous way to frame it. Plenty of people engage in casual sex and are in full control of what they want to do so it's not black or white in the way that you're depicting it to be.
@@TheJoshSpeaksIs there any added benefit to have a long term relationship with someone of high body count over virgins/low count? I am curious about the defence of your stance, as I see everyone, in the comment section, defending on their stance but you're mostly in an offensive position.
@kireetiSree my stance isn't that there is a benefit to dating someone with a high body count. It's simply that there isn't a reason to be judgmental of people who have a high body count.
Some of the reasons people give are based on made up statistics that they can't prove, anecdotes from random TH-cam street interviews, analogies from red pill content creators, correlative data that doesnt directly prove body count to be the causal factor for mental health issues, internalized disgust or conformity to social norms.
I dont need to prove an added benefit, just that the reasons to dismiss someone aren't strong enough. What we can see though is that people with high body counts are more than capable of entering in long term relationships and don't experience a reduced ability to pair bond, fear of STDs can be mitigated by having both partners get tested before engaging in any sexual activity and fear of paternity fraud as non-existant if you don't have a child with that person but if you do you can take a paternity test.
What we are sort of left with is societal norms and the concern that others will judge you if you "make a hoe into a housewife" which to me seems like just a matter of working to overcome that insecurity so you can be with someone you care about and be happy over feeling like other people won't like your partner selection.
So to answer your question, if I had to take the affirmative and point out benefits, it would be:
1. People with more sexual/relationship experience have a better understanding of their needs from another partner because they've explored that area of their life before
2. They tend to be more extroverted according to research so they may be less likely to put up with abuse, shame, manipulation, etc. in a relationship
don't normalize it
What is the issue with normalizing respecting people's decisions to be as free or reserved as they want?
@@TheJoshSpeaks because safety is important.. especially if it affects the provider
@mixindabox I agree safety is important, but we can both agree that you can mitigate and measure your risk as you increase your partner count by having both people get tested beforehand, right?
Since that is the case why would we not try to normalize respecting peoples decisions to be as free or reserved as they want?
@@TheJoshSpeaks the man/partner will not overlook the woman's past, as the man's future is to provide and protect the woman with a promiscuous past..
@mixindabox when you say overlook it, what is the implication there? What is the error in her decision exactly and how does it affect her current relationship with him outside of his own ego and social conditioning?
If anything, she is the one who has to look after him since he may feel bruised by her past life.
Pairbonding & paternity
Ugh, I need to make a video on pair bonding because you and everyone else really have no clue what it actually means. I'm going to give you the opportunity to explain but most likely it's going to be like every one else who heard the term on Fresh and Fit and are using it as their reasoning.
As for paternity, this is always such a bad argument to use. We live in the modern century where paternity tests are available. Plus, paternity has nothing to do with a high body count. A woman can have had multiple partners in the past and not have children so the worry about being the father to a child that doesn't exist is not an argument.
@@TheJoshSpeaks First, thank you for replying and giving me a chance to explain my point.
To make it clear right away I don’t know what fresh or fit is or his/her/their opinion. These are my views based on my experiences with many females and the basic patterns under which they interact with men according to my personal view. Many of my friends share the same thoughts including my sisters.
I am not saying I know everything there is to know about male/female dynamics but it’s denial if primal biology and evolutionary psychology are erased by modern sociology. Thousands and thousands of years of manifesting behavior patterns which helped us surviving until now just to throw everything away?
Especially the amount of the pair bonding issue is very representative in my reality.
As for the paternity issue I have a conservative view on that since my family is very religious. Figuring out who the father is by modern science doesn’t mean that having multiple partners at the same time and getting pregnant is utterly & morally right in my opinion. And if you ever experienced anything like that only then you may understand the importance of paternity to a man and I can say I do.
Real life experience has shown it to me and I am trusting my very own senses here instead of believing in modern sociology which has not really been tested by time yet.
Thank you and god bless you.
Well said. This man does not have any kids especially a daughter lol trust me 😂
This is completely wrong. Lol but hey you can date a train wreak all power to you bro
What makes a girl with a high body count a train wreck?
@@TheJoshSpeaks Impulsive behavior?
@@rommel5241 Claiming it is impulsive behavior is a prescriptive assertion.
If a person actively chooses each person they want to have sex with rather than just letting their impulses pull them towards it then it debunks your prescriptive claim.
@@TheJoshSpeaks can’t believe you’re still going at this after being completely destroyed by 90 percent of the comments on your video. You’ve had multiple men explain to you and you keep asking the same questions. Just admit you’re a Bluepilled cuck for life.
@@TheJoshSpeaks yuour so full of sh_t bro. lol
You're making a lot of assumptions in the story.
You said that he was intimidated. You don't know that That could just be what he told her. In my opinion he was most likely disgusted and put her into the "sex only" category did not actually want to be of her but was just telling her what she wanted to hear so he could have sex.
You said it built anger and resentment. You didn't say on whose side.
_____
At the end of the day no self-respecting guy once a woman who's been around the block. Loyalty is one of the quintessential aspects of a marriage and girls that are used to treating sex as something casual or having sex with someone that they're not in love with is not conducive to a loyal woman at all. That being said even if they can be loyal it doesn't even matter because you are your choices and the person that they chose them to be is someone that could detach love from sex and or a person that has loved multiple people and lost love of multiple people (or even worse still in love multiple people)
This is bad because if they're used to leaving someone then that's going to translate to me because they're going to say"I'm not going to put up with this I've dealt with so much before" And if they're still in love with those people then why am I marrying a woman that is for somebody else look at Will and Jada
Biological factors determine the male preference relating to body count.
That's a completely made up statement. What biological factors are you referring to?
Tell me you're a cuck without telling me you're cuck😂 This guy don't even look like he can bench his own body weight and tryna give men advice
What does benching have to do with dating?
You don't have to disrespect the man based on his opinion. There's nothing wrong with having separate view points
High body counts affect guys too. Guys with high body counts are always looking for something better
I think whether we're talking about guys or girls here, we should ask why you think that is the case? If a person is at a stage where they are just focused on casual dating, how would seeking something better play into this if they aren't looking for a monogamous partnership?
good video teaching young guys how to simp xD!!!
care to explain how I'm teaching people to be simps? All I'm saying is that I don't think body count should matter or be something one should get hung up on.
@@TheJoshSpeaks just because you like to simp josh doesn’t mean the world wants to follow your footsteps.
@@TheKyleman999 why is it so hard for you to explain your ideas? All you do is keep repeating them which add nothing to the conversation.
@@TheJoshSpeaks because I’ve already explained this josh and I don’t feel like typing a book out to you. I’m Just going to keep it short and sweet to the point.
@TheKyleman999 what point are you making by just repeating that you think I'm a simp but never bothering to explain how?
You keep saying you've answered my questions but you've yet to explain why you think I'm a simp.
Making an assertion and confirming it with "because you are" doesn't keep your point short and sweet, it just lacks any justification and should be dismissed for its poor argument quality.
The answer to this is simple. Be good company. If you're good company to yourself then you'll be ok alone. If you're ok alone you won't have to sit around hoping you can catch up to some girls inflated body count. You can move on. Don't be the guy who gets talked out of his own instincts to stay clear of promiscuous women and certainly don't be the idiot trying to catch up.
The challenge he was facing was always feeling like he was inexperienced compared to her. I agree that we should aim to be good company in being alone but he wanted a relationship with her but struggled to get over that one insecurity.
@@TheJoshSpeaks Yeah. If that dude was being properly represented by your friend he was a bit of a fool. Not to say that their uneven experience wouldn't have put some stress on the relationship, but him having more probably wouldn't have actually made things better.
@ZIaman I agree, I think its a foolish idea for him to think that increasing his number would have made him feel secure.
"Left over" women according to Chinese. These women will never change, bonded with to many mo fos and you will be the blunt of her manipulation or anger.
Sounds like a nice theory, but then how do you explain how people are still able to develop successful relationships when the average body count according to some statistics is 4-8?
In what sense have they bonded too much?
Mainly because I don't like dating promiscuous people, the more casual sex you have with somebody the more it lowers your chance of getting an actual relationship, because it can warp your mind set, up to the point where you don't really see the relationship as a relationship, and they're more likely going to cheat.
Hey, the research shows that a person with a high body count shows no difference in their ability to form and enter relationships with someone else. Dating is seasonal so when a person feels like they are done casually dating, they tend to shift into partner finding mode with ease.
As for being more likely to cheat, can you cite any evidence for that?
@@TheJoshSpeaks clearly not since research is stating the opposite, people with high body counts tend to fear commitment, and just someone like myself who believes in monogamy, someone who is afraid of commitment, or someone who has a very high chance of cheating on me, course there's someone for everybody, however I am not that someone if the person has a high body count.
@sindelscat9336 can you show me research that says people with higher body counts fear commitment? The research I shared doesn't say that at all so I'm assuming you've either come across some other source or you're making it up.
Also to your point about cheating, people who have cheated (men and women) show a correlation to having had more sexual partners in the past but again, there's no direct correlation between the two actions that would link them beyond people having both, not one causing the other.
A person with a high body count can still believe in monogamy and practice it, they just may want to do it at a later stage in their life.
@@TheJoshSpeaks I keep trying to send you the link but TH-cam keeps deleting it, however my point still stands, that the from the research I've done, promiscuous people and promiscuity tends to mess with your brain, so even when they do tend to want commitment later in their lives they don't get it, because they don't know how to commit. That's why a lot of men don't like women with high body counts, and it's unfortunate that a lot of women find men with high body counts more attractive.
@@sindelscat9336while debating ... this has happened to me. Dont take this dumbooo seriously
Lol I'm just here to read comments from my red pill brothers explaining to this guy why we won't date 304's. Lmao
I'm still waiting for them to give a reason that doesn't rest on "because I feel that way"...
That's actually the only reason they need dude 💀 @@TheJoshSpeaks
@elite_skillz310 you're right, that is a reason someone can give. It's an emotional stance and doesn't really add anything to the conversation though. That's why I always ask people to elaborate on their feelings-based perspectives because hopefully they can pan out what has influenced those feelings. Some people can't or refuse to which only begs the question of what purpose is there to engage in a discussion with your opinion if you don't have anything to say along with that opinion.
IF SHES NOT AT 0 THEN I REFUSE
Why is that?
@@TheJoshSpeakshave you never heard the word "preference"?
@mirarman hey yea, he expressed a preference, and I asked why. Do you feel like asking someone why they prefer something is a question that shouldn't be asked?
Example: Why do you prefer horror movies over comedies?
Does that question demonstrate a lack of understanding of preference or does it simply ask the person to elaborate on the reasoning behind their preference?
then you might as well be gay because you not finding a virgin and if you do ill get her before you every time
Are you at 0 too? You’re a sexist hypocrite otherwise
Omg this is such bull 💩
How so?
@@TheJoshSpeaksbcos u literally make no sense. It just seems u've never stepped out of your room and to sound smart u r simply lying left and right compromising an actual truth that high body woman is one big mistake in a mans life.
This feels very slanted toward anti-man. Claiming the guy was ‘obsessed’ and ‘intimidated’ by her body count just makes him look like a petty human.
You leave out key details. Was there relationship monogamous? Was she just increasing her body count and he felt to do the same?
Body count is a major red flag for me that shows attention seeking behavior, narcissism, toxic femininity, and lack of trust.
Hey, this short is part of a longer video on the topic but from what I remember they were monogamous. He didn't want to settle down though because he felt like he wasn't experienced enough compared to her. She wanted to be exclusive but was open to the idea of him trying to get with other girls if it was a matter of him feeling like he needed to get it out of his system.
You mentioned that body count is a sign of toxic femininity. Do you think that men who pursue a high body count are also demonstrating toxic femininity? Or toxic masculinity? Or do you come up with some weird reason to hold a double standard here?
I don't think I said anything that was anti-man though. Men can be insecure as can women. Identifying how and when a men is being insecure is not anti-man.
Some men are really dense and I can tell from this video's narrator
Care to explain how?
@@TheJoshSpeaks I mean you could read 99% of the comments on your video and figure it out for yourself.
@@TheKyleman999 Comments are anecdotal. Are you really making the case that just because a lot of people say something that it's true?
There used to be a name for this. But now theyre called independent strong woman.
I think the independent and strong part is because women have more autonomy over their sexual choices. The challenge is that we still hold on to nicknames that shame and criticize women for executing those autonomous choices. Hopefully we as a society can move past that puritan, judgmental mindset.
Starts with a w
@@TheJoshSpeaks
And? They still hold shameful Nicknames for men who aren’t particularly tall or make little amount of money.
@Quetzalcoatl_22 so are you saying you think both are good or bad here? I would say both are bad, and I don't agree with the idea that "because" women do X, men should do Y. What do you think though?
@@TheJoshSpeaks
Both are bad. But you can’t expect one side to stop doing X because you tell them not too, meanwhile you don’t say anything about Y not stoping with their part.
Simplord has spoken
Good one
If you’re an employer and hear an applicant has worked at 50 different businesses in the last 5 years, you gonna hire them?
If the potential employee was only focused on being a contractor during those years and wanted to transition to full-time work, of course.
This analogy always backfires because women who have only casually dated in the past can totally transition to a monogamous relationship without any issues, according to the research.
Diving into the example, there are contractors who work with lots of brands and companies which can make them more valuable because they have a wider scope of experience across industries. Tying it back to body count, a woman or man who has had more partners probably has a better understanding of what they enjoy sexually and have probably developed more of a comfort and confidence about being sexual.
That can be a benefit when engaging sexually with them as a partner.
If you take anything away from this, hopefully, it's that your analogy works against your point and you'll stop trying to use it to make it seem like women who have casual sex lives are somehow by default bad potential partners.
@@TheJoshSpeaks The person may be skilled in some areas for the job but they're also the type to constantly look for an upgrade by still applying to other places & when something "better" comes along, she will quit & move on. An employer wants someone who is great for the foundation & will stay, if she's so great they would give her a promotion even. They dont want her to still be applying for jobs after securing the position & leaving once she gets an offer leaving them with a two weeks notice.
@terryscott2632 You're describing something different. The example I gave about freelancers is regarding a person who isn't looking for a "full time job" or a "committed relationship" right now but later decides to make the switch to that type of life later on. Based on the research we see that people regardless of a high body count do this at the same rates as people with low body counts because dating is seasonal.
What you're describing is someone taking a job position but still wanting to find a different job, which isn't exclusive to people with body counts. People across the spectrum get "bored with their jobs" and look for new opportunities regardless of body count. If you want to make the argument that freelance workers are less likely to hold a full time position when they are ready to settle down for one, or that people with higher body counts are less likely to stay married when they are ready to settle down then you can point to the correlation between the number of sexual partners and divorce rates, however what that research shows is that anything over 1 past partner is relatively the same in terms of rate, but still shows a higher significance than 1 partner.
To align it with this example, a person who has held one job their entire lives is more likely to stay at that job forever, where as a person who has had more job experience in the past is more likely to seek out a more fulfilling job.
I want a girl with no body count.
I am in early 20s now, i will make a gf and marry her thats it .
When you have first sex with person you love ,then mostly you have life longer relationship and more loyality.
Girls with high body counts are having more chances of cheating .
So no seal no deal is best option .
That's fine if you hold yourself to that standard as well.
@@TheJoshSpeaks why does he need to do that?
@piskmanne well for consistency of belief to start.
He mentioned that the first person you have sex with will give you the greatest chance for a lifelong relationship and more loyalty. Not holding himself to that standard would mean he is reducing his own chance at a lifelong relationship with more loyalty.
He also mentioned that girls with high body count are having more chances of cheating, so not holding himself to that standard would mean he is increasing his own risk of cheating.
The reason why I ask that question is not only to expose this weird double standard that guys seem to have but also the inconsistency in their belief system if they don't also abide by the conditions that they are concerned about happening to women. When people make appeals to the consequences of having a high body count and point out all these horrible things that will happen if women have one, it doesn't make sense that those horrible things will suddenly go away if he decided to have a high body count.
And if either of you have a reason to believe that the double standard is a reality of things, show me the data that supports that. Because anything I've seen shows pretty consistent results for women and men when addressing the concerns he pointed out.
@@TheJoshSpeaks why is "consistency of belief" important in this case? Its a sexual preference, not an idealistic virtue.
The double standard comes from the fact that men and women have different preferrences, women generally dont prefer virgins.
@@piskmanne The reason why consistency of belief is important is that if you're concerned with the effects having a high body count can have on a potential relationship outcome when it comes to women, a person who isn't also concerned when it comes to men or even themselves exposes that their concerns about the effects aren't in good faith.
If the person just stated outright that they don't like it because they don't like it, then there's no consistency needed for that belief because it's a personal reason not rooted in anything logical, factual, or data-driven.
Men and women may have different preferences, but I'm not sure why that matters when determining your own personal preferences. We don't determine them based on the sum of what our gender decides. We can perhaps look across the spectrum of data to see where trends emerge, but that doesn't seem to be a justification for those preferences.
Can you explain why you (if you do that is) hold a double standard here?
For me I thinks it’s more to do with holding yourself to a standard. I personally am not promiscuous either or atleast try not to be. I feel like sleeping with lots of people just is kind of a turnoff because sex is a big thing for me and clearly that isn’t reciprocated. Also I feel like the more casual sex you have, the more numb you become. I feel you lose something. Just like a sensitivity to life. The people with the highest body counts that I’ve met are some of the most toxic, manipulative and narcissistic people. But the majority of the ones with lower body counts seem a lot more down to earth and empathetic. I understand the point your arguing though. And I think that is true for a lot of guys but for me as far as I can tell it’s more than just an intimidation factor.
I hear where you're coming from. It sounds like your opinions are influenced by your observations and not really any data though.
We can probably draw a connection between high sex partners and negative traits but we should probably look to something a bit more concrete than just the people we know.
Otherwise we might end up drawing conclusions that are inaccurate and may lead us to criticize the decisions of others and make assumptions on their behalf.
@@TheJoshSpeaks true. Just gotta take it person by person I guess. Think going too much on data or too much in personal experience is bad. Gotta find that sweet spot. Thanks for the reply.
If a man loves a woman, nothing would stop him from loving her. For such is the nature of love.
But if a man won't marry a woman that has little respect for her body it's a choice. It's an honourable one too.
Credibility is good for all concerned.
When you say she has little respect for her body, shouldn't that be applied to situations where the woman is willing to have sex with people she's not attracted to or cares about?
If she's selective of her partners and that number also happens to be relatively high, then how she is showing little respect for her body?
YEAH JUST GO WITH IT RIGHT SHE HAD TRIPPLE DIGGET PARTNER NUMBAS BUT HEY DONT TRIP ABOUT IT RIGHT SHE IS JUST A WORTHLESS 304 GETTIN AROUND AND THEN WANTING TO BE YOUR LOYAL GIRLFRIEND PPPFFFFFF
I think you misunderstood the video. Both of them wanted to date each other, she just had a more exciting past sexual life than he did and he wanted to do more of it before he choose to be exclusive with her.
If he had a decorative sexual past he most likely would have made things official a lot sooner.
A man trying to match a woman's body count is not really interested in a healthy relationship.
I agree, for this guy he felt inadequate compared to her because she was more experienced than him.
@@TheJoshSpeaks it's not that she was more "experienced", it's that she was more of a promiscuous 304, than he had the chance to be. He's more interested in being a bigger 304, than being in a stable, healthy relationship.
@robouteguilliman7639 what would be the difference here between being more experienced and being a "promiscuous 304"?
I feel like the only difference in our statements is that your verbiage aims to be derogatory where mine wasn't.
I do agree, he wasn't interested in being in a stable healthy relationship but I would say it was because this insecure thorn in his side prevented him from being able to prioritize and focus on their partnership.
@@TheJoshSpeaks there is no difference. The "experience" is accumulating more bodies, and becoming a 304. What's derogatory is the utter lack of self respect women have, when their give their bodies away, like prostitutes, though for much cheaper rates. What's derogatory is when they get offended when man that know they deserve better aren't interested in them. Men that pursue that promiscuous lifestyle are under the same description.
Who are they diminishing the respect of? If they don't feel like they are lacking any sort of self-respect by having casual sex then there's no decrease in respect there.
If your concept of "respect" rests on how other people perceive them and want them to act, then we would just have to question where the change should be made. With the person who is acting autonomously over their own body or the person who wants to make decisions for them?
I don't think there's a fruitful discussion to be had in talking about people who act in any way and then get upset when a subset of people don't like their actions. That applies to nearly everything a person can do. There are always people who won't like some type of actions of someone, somewhere.
I'm more concerned in understanding why you may think the behavior is derogatory in some way. Who is it derogatory towards?
If I am respecting my future partner by keeping my body count Zero, I expect her's to be zero as well.
Honesty works from both sides in a relationship.
That's a consistent position, its totally reasonable to seek out a partner who upholds the same value that you do.
Yeah don't recommend this channel
hmm why is that?
@@TheJoshSpeaksthe more whores the more broken homes you fucking dunce. My mom had a high body count left my father and fucked my early childhood up because she thought she could do better based on previous experiences. You could be creating future fatherless homes spreading this immoral whore is ok behavior BULLSHIT. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED
It sounds like you've had a personal and difficult experience with this topic. I think your story is valid, but we have to be careful not to apply our personal anecdotes to all people.
We can probably agree that homes where infidelity takes place is bad but the factors that lead to infidelity are where our discussion can take place. We know there's a correlation between a higher number of past sexual partners for both men and women and higher rates of infidelity, however the research doesn't provide a strong enough correlation so that we can rule out other influential factors that very well could have a greater impact.
My goal isn't to encourage women to go out an have casual sex. All I am to do is identify whether the concept of "body count" is one that we should give weight to when trying to decide if a person is a good potential partner. I haven't seen enough evidence to support that argument, especially given the research that shows that dating tends to be seasonal, so when a woman or man is ready to shift to a monogamous relationship they are more than capable of doing so regardless of their body count.
I’m 32, any body count is off putting to me, I’ve been saving sex for marriage my whole life and would like someone doing the same. It just shows me that person despite the opportunities, they showed self discipline, I’ve been doing the same.
I think that's a fair and consistent perspective to have. My issue is primarily with people who see a girl with any kind of body count as shame-worthy.
No one said a woman with any kind of bodycount is shame-worthy.
A woman with high bodycount who goes out on frequent hookups are.
@TheKyleman999 that's a bit of a goal post shift there, there are lots of men in these comments that are shaming women for simply having a high number of sexual partners.
Also, why would going out on frequent hookups be shame worthy?
Damnnn rare Josh speaks L, this man gave some decent advice but bro come on?? Don't tell me you haven't been red pilled on body count and promiscuity.....
On the contrary I've watched lots of red pill videos on the topic and every single one rests on a few simple things: misunderstanding data, fear mongering, ego-centrism and angst against women's autonomy.
@averybadcaseoffacialobesity I'm not sure how you see them as buzzwords but since you're only interested in discussing the autonomy piece we can do that.
What does putting autonomy to good use mean to you? Is it only put to good use if it aligns with your perspective?
I don’t want a girl who’s slept around because I don’t sleep around with people on my free time. Ig it’s that simple.
If you want a partner with similar sexual experience to your own I don't see an issue with that.
Its not intimidated it's disgust. The trying to make up the numbers is coping. He's doing mental gymnastics to be with her. It's pure disgust.
I agree that the need to match or exceed her number is a form of coping, but I would say it's rooted in insecurity. If she had a lower number at the start, he most likely wouldn't feel that need which means the need is born out of some level of inadequacy.
mr josh, i want to tell you that how women have "preferences" that their husband/boyfriend must be min 6ft tall, muscular, makes a min 200k, etc, similarly men have a "preference" that their wife/girlfriend should be virgin, not be obese etc. and also onely good men deserve good women, you cant say a man that has 100 body count say that he wants a virgin women, doesnt work like that, in all religions it is given that a pure woman for a pure man and an adultering woman for an adultering man. ultimastely body count becomes a personal choice if you are not a religious person(no matter which religion), but men will walways want a virgin women, and they should be like that provided they theymasleves dont have 100 count.
hope you understand
I don't agree with this concept of purity. I think it's subjective and also quite limiting to people, not to mention it leads to stigmatization and social outcasting if people don't conform to what others decide is "best".
We can definitely agree that people have preferences and no one is making the case that we should forego our preferences for the sake of all-inclusivity. What I am pointing out here is more that we should be willing to understand why we hold such preferences and be willing to evaluate for ourselves if there is any actual merit to it beyond just our feelings.
I also draw issue with how people express those preferences and whether it's done in a way that is meant to hurt, shame or belittle someone else. If a man says he wants a girl who is under a certain weight, I have no issue with that. If a man says he doesn't want a fat girl because she's disgusting, then I draw issue with that statement because it's no longer just an expression of a preference, it's a generalization and attack on people who don't meet his specific preference.
Dude its literally not intimidation its just not hygenic. I asked mu doctor he said so 😂
I think there is an intimidation factor there if you are worried that the girl may be more experienced than you or that she might compare you to past partners.
I think what would make it a hygiene issue is if she doesn't shower between partners, but other than that if she's practicing safe sed and showering then what would be the issue?
@@TheJoshSpeaks no guy would be intimidated by a woman with more sexual experience if anything He’s going to view it as a free day pass in a amusement park. Then feel absolutely disgusted with himself and get checked at the doctors office.
There is zero reason for any dude to be Intimidated by a woman with high body count unless he is in a relationship with her and he finds out later about her past.
Women with high body count are way more likely to cheat. Period. Ffs your replies make me want to pour bleach into my eyes. Can’t believe you’re still going on about this nonsense lol
Easy solution if she doesn't bleed, she doesn't get the ring
You might want to read an updated biology book, what you're referencing is an outdated idea that isn't rooted in modern science. Women can rupture their hymen doing basic physical activity like exercising and if they don't, not every woman ruptures their hymen the first time they have sex.
Men and women both normally have high body counts because of trauma invalidating their body count can be invalidating their want to change and their trauma. 1 in 4 has a mental disorder people can chamge, its not just women who can loos attachment from too many hookups and it also depends on the person some people are programed for polygamy while others aren't.
High body count show how easy you are with your body because everyone can easily has an access to it and that is something that is not attractive. Thats why high body count isn't a good thing. Plus if i don't like a women with high body count then its my choice. Period.
No one argued against you having a choice. What I'm drawing attention to though is this idea of it not being "attractive". If you give people access to your body because you are less reserved and more open to sharing physical experiences with people, why is that not attractive? You didn't really explain why, you just asserted that it is.
@@TheJoshSpeaks well the more easy you are the immature it shows that everyone can easily access your body. That is something that I and many men don't like. It gives a very disgusted vibe tbh.
@@TheJoshSpeaks tell me one thing would you marry a porn star?? Who's nudes are easily available who has been naked in front of many men would you tell me?? It's just the same because it is not attractive when you sleep with lot of people and let me tell you even many women don't like men with high body count if she has some values in herself.
@@Jemo15 What about having multiple past partners is immature? We're not talking about going out and having lots of children from different people, we're talking about having casual sex between two fully aware and consenting adults.
I'm not sure where the immaturity piece plays in. Are you saying that the people who sleep around (men and women) are immature because other people simply have access to your body?
@@TheJoshSpeaks there is a word called value, and let me tell you I f you sleep with lots of people your value decreases and that a thing and I think you and many women are having a hard time accepting it. You know keep going and give reason but my perspective is clear that I don't want women with high body count.
Simp alert 😂
sound the alarm!
Damn for real
I reason why I don’t want to date women with a high body count is the same reason why I don’t like using public restrooms.
If your issue is with using the same restroom as someone else, would that apply to sharing a toilet with anyone? A family member? A significant other? It sounds more like you're a germaphobe than anything else.
I wouldn’t call it being intimidated as much as I would call it grotesque. If a woman has a cycle of breaking up more so than working out why on earth would I invest any substantial amount of resources into her? In all likelihood, her body count is indicative of future behavior.
The problem with your explanation is that it implies that she is somehow getting together with and breaking up with guys when that is not always the case. She may just be engaging with them for the purpose of casual sex, not entering relationships and then dropping those guys.
What the research shows us is that dating is often seasonal, so a person may be at a stage in their life where they are not considering monogamous relationships and then later on decide that is what they want. If you encounter her when she's not looking for a relationship then why would you expect one from her? If you encounter her when she's no longer interested in casual sex and is looking for something more serious, why wouldn't you expect a relationship from her to work out?
@@TheJoshSpeaks Suppose Im last in line for her gang bang dick train season. Why would I want to be first in her line for her commitment season? There are many seasons between Valentine's Day and Christmas, and I'd rather not spend it tasting over-seasoned chicken cutlets. Are you saying I should live on the top story of a building that was built and is heavily influenced by moon phases and seasons? Where the builder had no fundamental standards and kind of just made it up as they went along. I'm taking a more significant risk than the builder. At least he has builder's insurance, and I’m left making insurance claims and rummaging through rubble for hiring a low-rate builder with a shotty past.
If anything, I think you further my infinite testament point.
I am honestly confused by all of your weird analogies.
All I will say is this. If a person is ready to shift to a more monogamous lifestyle, you don't need to ignore their past history with relationships, dating or casual sex. You should however be able to look beyond things like ego, insecurity or societal influence and focus more on the internal qualities of the person and whether they can line up with your goals for the type of lifestyle you want to build with a partner. That includes vetting them to see if the way they navigate the world is something you feel equipped to take on as their future partner. That may include relationship baggage, or challenging families, chronic diseases/illnesses, etc.
Not everyone is equipped to be able to manage every type of partner, but if you're going to look at their past sexual history and cast assumptions that rest more on fears, shame or self-doubt then I think you're selling that person short, especially if they're someone you really care for.
@@TheJoshSpeaks There are plenty of women who don’t move in the manners you’ve described, sir. You aren’t helping women with this type of work. Men have spoken. We aren't buying what the woman you described is selling. Rather than putting standards on women, you are telling men to take accountability for the woman's past behavior. We already know what men want. You keep trying to say to us we want something different or that we are unaware of what we need. All the while, we sit here today and tell you exactly what we're willing to cooperate with, and you're dismissing us. Women are the ones who built bridges away from the men, and they will be the ones to build them to come back. The biggest problem that feminism has is that men don't buy into it. And here we are today at a stalemate. Until we see more homeless women and more retiree-age women having to work at Walmart, then things might change. But now, men are not buying what women in The United States are trying to sell. Until they sell men what we want, we will keep vaguely implying love for vaguely implied sex. And we both know men always get sex before women ever get love. So what you preach only serves a few men while leaving most women empty-handed in the grand scheme.
@MrDjladd24 Hey, your response didn't really address anything that I said. You went on some sort of unrelated diatribe about women needing to he homeless, working at Walmart and how feminism is something that men can't buy.
None of that has anything to do with the fact that women who engage in more casual sex may be doing so because they want to rather than always aiming for relationships and getting burned by guys who just want sex.
I haven't looked into data on that but we can both probably agree that it does happen, but if that's the hill you're dying on then your issue should be with men who are manipulating women, not women who fall for the manipulation.
Again, that has nothing to do with a person choosing to be promiscuous.
What I am aiming to do is dispel this glamorization of body count in favor of focusing on the uniqueness of a person and their experiences. I have the same mission when it comes to getting women to not dismiss a guy simply because of his height as an example of a reverse scenario.
I also find it so interesting how people tend to hide behind the majority and say things like "men have spoken" or "men want this". If you're going that route, I would hope you can provide some data, otherwise you're just trying to cushion your own beliefs by appealing to some sort of majority which hopefully we can both agree, doesn't make your argument any stronger.
We can see a shift decade over decade of women no longer entering marriages as virgins, and data that shows that nearly all women over the age of 25 have had a past sexual partner with the average being around 4-8 partners in their lifetime. We also see that people are getting married later in life and focusing instead on career development first. We also can see that the rate of divorce has dropped since the 1980s, indicating that more people are remaining together. Given all of that information, I would make the humble guess that most men are not in agreement with you and that most men are capable of marrying a girl that may have a sexual past, just like they would bring a sexual past into their relationship with them.
If you have data to prove otherwise, feel free to present it but if not, stop trying to hide your personal thoughts behind some majority of men that you think exists.
Ratio’d in the comments section on your own vid lol
It makes sense. A lot of content young men observe focuses on chastising women. The fact that I'm saying the opposite is bound to bring the loudest voices to the comments. It's the same case with my black pill videos or anything else I talk about related to red pill content. I'm fighting an uphill battle to destigmatize a lot of the conditioning guys have experienced.
@@TheJoshSpeaks
Yet you don’t make any of those videos against the double standards and stigmatizations women have on men. I wonder why? 🤔
Body count is important because dont nobody want to get herpes or any other illness the more partners you have the higher the chance people get careless after awhile
The simple solution would be to just ask that person to get tested before you engage with them in any way sexually. Whether they have had 1 partner or 100.
I'm not sure why the number of partners they've had would matter then. The issue you're talking about is a person being actively promiscuous, not the number of sexual partners they've had in the past.
@TheJoshSpeaks the bible tells u to avoid promiscuous women.... alot of these modern women got onlyfans and everything too, it not a good idea to marry any of these types they body be out there and they don't think of the long term consequences it can affect their kids too
@ultimateblue2197 I don't see what authority a book should have for decision-making. If your reasoning beyond the Bible is simply that being more promiscuous can lead to a higher risk of STDs, then that would make sense. Getting tested would be the solution.
@TheJoshSpeaks yes but even still a girls past really does matter her past tells u alot about her character and decision making aswell as a man's too if I met a girl and I found out she been around the block I couldn't take her seriously for any long term commitment and as a guy that lives by morals and values my last name means something and I am only giving it to a woman deserving of it. It is absolutely disrespectful if I get with a women and 4 of my friends walk up to me and tell me I hit that already
@ultimateblue2197 other than your personal ego feeling attacked, what significance does it have in terms of establishing her character?
If prior to you she wasn't looking for any long term commitment and has now decided she's ready to enter into a monogamous relationship (this is what most people tend to do, given the average number of sexual partners is between 4-8), how does that make her any less serious of a candidate for a committed relationship?
Microchimerism is real. Gross.
Can you explain why it matters or what significance it plays? So far there isn't any research to show that this can lead to or create any issues.
@@TheJoshSpeaks there will be no research on this as it affects mental peace of many families.
It’s confusing, I am in a relationship with a girl. She’s my first one. We have been together for 3 years and she wants to get married even though she has a lot of baggage. She’s probably been with 17-18 guys, (many like 14-15 within 2 years until she met me) slept with people within our group while we were talking, slept with people for $, etc. I found out all of this after we had sex because she just flat out lied and then came forward later. My gut instinct was to leave but I felt like seeing what it could become. I always seem to loop back to these feelings of jealousy and just anger because she says she could have left and she picked me but yet I just deal with all her problems and it’s hard to grow on my first go around like this. Idk if I’m crazy but I see it 100%
I need help and have literally no one 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What's your relationship like with her currently? If her approach to life is that she's past whatever previous stage she was in before where it sounds like she might have used sex as a form of validation, financial security, or some other means, do you feel confident that she has evolved as a partner?
I would say it’s 50/50. I have to deal with the actions of her past every day I feel like because she can’t get past not being okay with physical touch. Even something as simple as a hand hold or hug. I can’t help but think of how many people are connected to her and all the things she did for them. Especially when she would tell me inconsistence stores about her past. The times that we were just getting to know each other and she wasn’t telling me that the people we were eating dinner with, she was also sleeping with. I know they seemed happy and I saw them physically affection and all these years later she just seems to have tapped out physically, maybe because she’s already done everything idk. But I just feel like I didn’t get a fair chance but at the same time I love this person to death and I am just torn apart
@@TheJoshSpeaksWe also had some trust issues because before we got together, when we were still just friends, I tried to confide in her to help get with another virgin she was actually friends with and she decided it would be better for her happiness to pursue me.
@@TheJoshSpeaksshe is overall an amazing person and I love her but her subtle patterns of lying to people around us or gas lighting are breaking me.I am just so conflicted on how to approach it…
very impressed this guy is still replying to comments. Now that's a good youtube channel
Really not intimidated just disgusted it's like really you don't have respect for yourself and also more partners a woman and also man the less likely they will actually have a genuine connection or have a long healthy marriage
Why do you see it as a sign that the person doesn't respect themselves? If they don't see self-respect tied up with number of partners then why would that be an issue for them?
And while number of sexual partners does correlate with lower relational happiness and higher divorce rates, I am not sure about the strength of that correlation compared to other factors that can play a larger role in affecting those two.
The story of a simp.
How was he a simp?
@@TheJoshSpeaks Because he hovered around a woman for "years" while she banged every other dude in sight. But in truth, this story never happened, because no guy feels "intimidated" by a woman with a high body count.
This guy Josh is a major simp
How so?
We are obsessed because a women who sleeps with 5 men or more have 25 percent of a happy marriage in 10 years.
Theres a correlation there but it exists for both men and women. My pushback is just how much of a relation past sexual partners has on marriage outcomes. We can see that other elements like attempts to repair, financial security, shared values and more play an incredibly influential role on the happiness levels of marriages, im just skeptical as to the statistical significance of past body count.
She has a high body count for a reason. Mental/emotional issues, and probably a checkered past full of abuse/neglect. Why increase your chances of failure with a broken woman? When you can give yourself a higher chance for success with a women who doesn't come with as much trauma/baggage. It just doesn't make sense. When there are better options out there. If this guy had just accepted that she wasn't the one and chosen to move on, he'd have a higher chance of finding a woman who met his standards.
Wait you think that failure is the guys fault? Actions have consequences.
I'm sure where you see fault to be attributed here. The girl didn't do anything wrong by having an active sex life and the guy didn't do anything wrong by feeling like he wanted to match her number before he entered in a relationship with her.
It seems to come down to his insecurity around the matter preventing him from entering in the relationship.
@@TheJoshSpeaks Rejecting commitment to a girl that has been passed around by 10+ guys just demonstrates a basic level of self respect. Why should he work everyday for what others got for free?
Not to mention a girl who has many sexual encounters that didn't result in longterm relationships lacks self discipline. And is almost guaranteed to fail at putting the work into a relationship.
@@glennmartin802 When you say why should he work every day for what others got for free, are you making the claim that a relationship with a woman can be reduced to just having sex with her? If other guys have had sex with her, what bearing does that have on your ability to form a happy, healthy, and exciting relationship with her? Other than ego holding you back, her past partners wouldn't be experiencing the other elements of pair bonding that you would: attachment, friendship, and possibly even romance.
Also addressing the self-discipline point, this is commonly made but never makes any sense. The only way she would lack self-discipline is if she wanted to refrain from engaging with others sexually but gave in to her impulses. If a woman simply wants to have casual sex and sees no issue with it, where is the lack of self-discipline there?
Plus, the research disagrees with you on whether women who have high body counts are willing to put the work in for a relationship. Dating tends to be seasonal in the sense that people may not be at a stage in their lives where they want to settle down with a partner, and then later in their life, they show no difference in ability to make that switch.
Simply put, when a woman is ready to commit to one partner, whether she has had zero partners or multiple partners, her likelihood of choosing monogamy is no different.
@@TheJoshSpeaks 🤓👍
@glennmartin802 haha nice rebuttal there and good chat, I guess.
Bruh the one who made this shirt is a SIMP
Please guys don’t listen to him, have some self respect
Stay strong 💪🏻
How is one sacrificing self-respect based on what I said here?
@@TheJoshSpeaks how is it not josh?
You didn't answer the question. Can you explain how it's sacrificing self-respect rather than just asserting that it does?
@@TheJoshSpeaks I’ve answered hundreds of your repeated questions josh. Answer this - Why is it a good idea to date someone with high body count?
@TheKyleman999 I never made the argument that it's a good idea, im simply saying it's not something to dismiss someone over.
If I had to give an affirmative reason it would be that the person has more experience sexually and probably has a better understanding of what they like and don't like in the bedroom.
That can lead to a more pleasurable and fun experience when engaging in sexual activities.
it's ingrained in real men to care
I don't believe that to be true, any evidence to support your idea?
@@TheJoshSpeaksits biological. A woman with low or nonexistent sexual history is a prize. You can be sure that your offspring with her will truly be your DNA
@filipposa212 you're appealing to research that doesn't exist. Your point would make more sense if we were talking about a woman having lots of kids from different people because then you could make the argument that she wouldn't be able to properly take care of yours.
But when you say her having lots of sexual partners ensures that your offspring is your DNA, it doesn't make sense at all because lots of sexual partners doesn't mean lots of kids. You're also appealing to this archaic idea that we are unable to determine paternity through DNA tests or that we don't have contraceptives to prevent accidental pregnancies from multiple partners.
If you have actual research and not personal feelings to support your argument please present them, otherwise your point doesn't make sense from its start to its conclusion.
@@TheJoshSpeaks okay well then, personal feelings for my personal preferences. Other guys can pursue whoever they want. I'll continue being an ignorant caveman.
@quantumimmortality551 thats fine, all I asked for was evidence to support your idea.
sex is a Marriage gift, this generation kids makes it Birthday gift.
As a guy with a decent notch count, not something I’m proud of btw, I’ve come across women with just as much if not exponentially more experience than me. Here’s my take. None of them had been in a serious long term relationship in a long time if at all. They seemed to all “want” one from someone that was never going to give it to them while passing up or playing guys that would actually give them commitment. They always had the same lame excuse that the good guy had something “missing” which I understood as he was low ranked compared to the rolodex of other encounters she previously had. To say nothing changes in a woman as she gains experience is not only ignorant but misleading at best. The obvious thing she loses is her innocence not referring to women that try to have relationships that don’t pan out but rather the ones that think casual sex is a “phase”. It’s not, a woman that is at any point comfortable having sex with strangers will never be content with just one person. She will always compare mentally, never be satisfied, and will embarrass you directly and indirectly. You will be the simp that takes her to nice places and treats her right for the same benefit another man got by taking her to the backseat of his car. What makes something valuable is that it’s scarce so if she’s been community property by definition she not special. She needed to consider what the type of man she wants is looking for and realize it’s something she can’t gain but rather preserve. Innocence and purity in women have always been sought after. If you choose to attempt to reform a 304 be my guest but I promise that is a decision you will sooner or later regret.
So to your first point, you're speaking about girls who are getting duped by guys who are lying to them just to have sex. That's not the same as women making the decision to have casual sex. Your problem there should lie with guys being assholes, not women being tricked into thinking they are honest guys.
Regarding women feeling like the good guy was "missing" something, that is probably rooted more in age-dependent values. We know that when people are younger they aren't as focused on long-term partnership and instead are more interested in career and life development. That tends to lend itself more to casual flings and encounters. I don't think it's necessarily a matter of good guys being low-ranked, just that what he may be willing to offer at that stage of her life doesn't align with what she wants. Just looking at the data around what women find most attracting in casual partners, we can see that traits like physical attractiveness are higher valued as well as confidence and assertiveness. If a "bad boy" comes along and displays those traits to a girl who is at the stage of her life where she's not looking for commitment then of course he's going to stand a better chance with her. The same can be said of men who are younger and the traits they are looking for in a partner.
I wouldn't say "nothing changes" as a person has more sexual encounters. I think a lot changes, but I don't think it's the way you're thinking about it. For example, I would say some of those changes might be the development of self-confidence in going after and pursuing people, more freedom to do what you want and autonomy over your sexual experiences. There are also potential downsides to being open to more casual sex as well such as higher risk of STDs, the potential to get used/hurt like you mentioned and even a reshaping of your own values/sense of worth.
This idea however that she loses her "innocence" is a socially constructed, puritan idea that doesn't actually exist. Having sex isn't foregoing any sort of innocence. If we want to belief that people can lose their innocence then I would imagine it would be accompanied to moments of triumph or trauma where they come to a realization that life is different that what they expected. Casual sex can generally be a phase for men and women, especially when they are younger and aren't as focused on settling down on a career path or partner just yet.
Addressing your other points though, these are the ones that I think are totally off. Specifically:
"She will always compare mentally, never be satisfied, and will embarrass you directly and indirectly."
The fear around being compared is one born out of insecurity. We all compare past experiences to our current ones, but that shouldn't stop us from engaging and building something new and exciting with someone else. If you're worried that you won't be "good enough" for her then I think looking deep within and understanding your own value would be helpful here.
Also, this idea that she will never be "satisfied" implies that sex is a purely physical act and that one of her partners at some point will deliver the "best" sex she's ever had. In reality, sex differs from partner to partner and can increase in intimacy or decrease depending on your connection with your partner.
Finally, to this idea of embarrassing you directly or indirectly, how exactly? Because she's had past sexual partners? If your sense of worth in the eyes of others is in getting a girl that no one has been with before then again, you need to look within and re-evaluate how you measure yourself. You offer more than that.
This point of yours is also one I disagree with: "What makes something valuable is that it’s scarce so if she’s been community property by definition she not special."
Being special is a subjective measurement and not determined by the collective of people. For example, I can have a baseball card that I got when I went to a baseball game as a kid and was part of a monumental moment for me despite the card being the most common card that everyone else also has. Scarcity does not determine if something is special, it determines somethings collective value. Therefore, if you are with a girl that you have a special connection with, the fact that other guys have been with her doesn't mean the experiences you two share are any less valuable to you.
I personally don't care whether it's been upheld within society that "Innocence and purity in women have always been sought after." If there is no genuine reason why we should value it then I don't see benefit in upholding that idea.
And to your final point: "If you choose to attempt to reform a 304 be my guest but I promise that is a decision you will sooner or later regret." Why would a person regret that decision if they can form a genuinely deep and personal connection with that women? You're throwing out these vague, scary warnings but not really explaining why.
@@TheJoshSpeaks I appreciate the response. Allow me to clarify I agree there’s a difference between women who voluntarily engage in casual sex and a woman that has a couple of bodies due to genuine attempts at having committed relationships. I admit that some men deceive women to gain access to sex but that doesn’t take away a woman’s accountability in having poor judgement, there’s only so many times she can claim she was tricked before it’s considered plain negligence. In terms of the different qualities found in good guys/ bad boys, I believe most if not all bad boys were once good. The good guy represents the more naive side of men typically more willing, understanding, patient and considerate to women. More likely to fall in love with the potential of what she can be in a relationship than what she is in the present moment. More than likely less familiar with female nature and will continue to be this way until he realizes he’s not getting the results he wants due to his inexperience. This also plays a factor in the woman’s experience with him as she will notice his lack of sexual experience affecting his ability to satisfy her. At this point he will either become more selective or become the bad boy. The bad boy realizes it’s much more effective to pour all his efforts in himself/ make himself more attractive, takes women at face value, and is less likely to involve his feelings as he notices that’s not required to gain sexual access. He is less likely to care if she sticks around or whether it’s just a one time thing which displays confidence/arrogance that women are attracted to. This attitude will help him attract more women giving him the experience he needs to excite them and make them more incline to stick around. The higher level of excitement he provides can cause the woman to want this experience from him more often especially if it’s been multiple occasions as she begins to feel more comfortable. Unfortunately the bad boy no longer needs/wants to commit because it’s not needed for him to get sex from her. As the good guy he was missing the excitement as the bad boy he’s missing the need to commit. Excitement is the prerequisite imo. This is why boredom is a big reason for infidelity. I have been the “side dude” to women when they’re in between relationships, in relationships, on “breaks” or simply upset/ bored with their current partner, again not proud just explaining my perceptive. I’ve been on both sides of the coin as well so I feel for the guys but this is just how the world is. I’ve blatantly told women to fix things with their partners because I was never going to commit to them or provide them what that guy was giving them even going as far as ignoring them and they’ll still look for me every now and then very much still in relationships. I do believe innocence is tied to sex. Not sure if you’ve heard someone say “you’re such a little virgin” to describe someone that is innocent. Women that have less sexual partners behave and treat relationships different than a woman who participates in casual sex and that’s a fact. A woman who values keeping her body count low usually puts more effort in relationships and is less likely to cheat. Can a woman gain some sort of knowledge from experience sure but it’s at a cost. It’s typically easier for her to have sex with someone new simply if she wants to, she is less likely to try as much is a relationship if the excitement dies down. Just like the bad boy it will mean less if their partner sticks around as they will be more inclined to seek a new exciting opportunity elsewhere. And imo more likely to cheat as casual behavior is something they’re use to especially if they’re losing feeling even if the relationship isn’t officially over. I believe humans in general are creatures of habit and although we have the ability to change we rarely do. I also think it’s unavoidable to compare partners once you’ve had so many for both men and women. I feel the difference is women typically try to find a man that has the best qualities of each of the men she’s been with previously “build a boyfriend theory”. Meaning the more experience she has the more unrealistic her expectations become. It’s not necessarily fear of comparison it’s the fact that the more she has to compare the less likely you are to be her best experience. We all reminisce about the best one at least time to time. I believe sex is more important than most people are willing to admit. I’ve had sexual experiences with women where they themselves said it was better than their entire marriage and we had no emotional bond whatsoever. I believe you can care for someone deeply but the sex just isn’t there, unfortunately. As far as the direct/indirect embarrassment, often times when a promiscuous woman is upset or dissatisfied she will insult her partner by expressing his inadequacies based on her past experiences. An example of indirect is say the couple is enjoying their time out somewhere and run into someone that had a one nighter with her, both partners would be embarrassed. The more history she has the more likely/often this will occur “haunted by her past”. Not to mention this happens online as well. Although she no longer is participating in that behavior it will still affect her current situation. Lastly, sentimental value and someone’s value in the dating market are two different things. For example it is reasonable for a man to always care for the wellbeing of the mother of his child due to the history they share but have no desire to reconciliate. Or like you mentioned a personal item that is not particularly rare but special to the owner based on its personal memories. To explain value in the dating market, say there’s a woman in which you have a genuine connection with who has a promiscuous past; if you some how had the option to have the same woman same bond but at a time where she only had 5 bodies or less on a subconscious level I believe most men would prefer her with less bodies. In modern times it’s damn near unrealistic to expect a virgin not even I expect one but it says a lot about a woman that respects herself not to share her body so freely even though they all have the ability to do so imo. I understand if you don’t mind either way but I believe most men do. The truth is the sexual revolution started with the introduction of birth control meaning women behave this way because they are less likely to suffer any immediate repercussions (pregnancy or STDs) including being shamed as more and more feminism has made being a hoe socially acceptable in the West. What’s really eye opening is what I call the “Lizo effect” just like most women say all women are 10’s including Lizo even calling her beautiful but when they themselves are told they look like Lizo it’s now offensive. Pay attention when women insult each other the worst names/insults are “slut, hoe, easy, whore, prostitute, streetwalker, skank” they all attack a woman’s sexuality because they understand subconsciously those are bad things. Good father’s teach their daughters be as selective as possible before getting involved with someone I don’t know any that allow or accept let alone teach them that it’s acceptable to sleep around at any point in their life. Throughout human history it has always been and still is a negative thing for a woman to be promiscuous minus the modern West. Ultimately everyone is entitled to own preferences I just believe that the type of man that has the option of a promiscuous woman would still prefer a woman who has protected her chastity and would be universally valued more. Again thanks for the rebuttal, no hate just an exchange of ideas.
Hey, I also appreciate the in-depth response here. I'll try to break down your arguments and address each one so it's a little easier to read.
1. Having poor judgment in partner selection is rooted in a several different things.
It could be the lack of life experience and not knowing what qualities to look for in a good partner vs. a bad one because you've never had a partner before. It could also be the romanticization of certain personality types, whether through observed experiences in real life, or glamorized ones presented in consumed media and social representation. It could also be a lack of impulse control rooted in biological processes, for example if a person is highly extroverted they may be more likely to make impulsive decisions.
This idea then of saying it's plain negligence of a woman to choose bad partners, while may be true doesn't really serve a purpose other than to cast judgment. Similarly, if I were to take an incel who struggles with women and feels like after getting constantly rejected and feeling defeated, his lack of ability to improve himself is just plain negligence. I don't see a benefit in drawing attention to that if it's not accompanied with empathy for their challenges and advice on how to improve.
2. Women that have less sexual partners behave and treat relationships different than a woman who participates in casual sex and that’s a fact.
This also holds true for men as well. The data available shows that when both men and women have lower sexual partners, there is a correlation of higher relationship satisfaction and lower rates of divorce. I always find it interesting that this point only seems to ever be made about women though. When we talk about treating a relationship differently though, that doesn't equate to having a better chance of finding a quality partner. For example, if a person decides to engage in casual sex in their 20s and then into their 30s decides to shift focus to finding a monogamous partner, I don't see why that past experience would inherently affect their search process. Perhaps you can make an argument about maybe dealing with past heart break, break ups, etc. influencing their decision but that wouldn't make the person with less experience by default be better at picking a partner.
3. "Meaning the more experience she has the more unrealistic her expectations become."
I disagree with this statement. I would argue that having experience in the real world and interacting with people helps you gain a better sense of the needs and desires that other people may have. That type of logic wouldn't work anywhere else if applied.
For example, if a person has worked at more jobs in the past, would their expectations be more unrealistic in terms of a deserved salary than a person who has never worked at a job before?
If a person has been married before and gets divorced, are their expectations for what type of partner they need to make a marriage work somehow more unrealistic compared to a person who is longing for marriage?
I just don't see how you can draw that conclusion there.
4. Looking at your examples about embarrassment and longing for a better sexual partner, those seem highly specific to select women and not something we can expect for a wide selection of women. Again, I would point out that your arguments would also be in favor of encouraging men not to engage in casual sex as well which would be consistent.
This idea of longing for a better sexual partner tends to show up more in the data for why men tend to cheat than women. From what I've read, women are more likely to cheat if they feel like the love and chemistry in the relationship has disappeared whereas men are more likely to cheat if they feel their sexual needs aren't often being met. That isn't to say women don't cheat for those exact same reasons as men, but maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with someone is more than just about having hot sex. The best way to prevent sexual boredom from deteriorating your relationship is to work on that with your partner, something a lot of couples don't or struggle to do.
As for the point about embarrassment, I really don't have anything to say to that because your example is so specific that it's either a personal anecdote or one that you might have heard from a handful of people online.
5. I think it's an interesting discussion to have why a person would want a partner with less past sexual experience. I have mentioned a few reasons in another video why it might be rooted in some type of insecurity but I know a lot of guys get offended when I say that and often instead redirect to saying "it's not insecurity, it's disgust". To that, all I can do is point out that if you feel like you are losing something because your partner has had past partners then it most definitely is insecurity.
6. haha I know you got the Lizzo effect thing from the Whatever podcast so that gives me a frame of reference of where your arguments are influenced from now. As far as what women call each other to insult them, it would make sense that they would use socially acceptable terms that are meant to be derogatory. That is the patriarchal structure that is set up, where women's value tends to rest on their sense of purity, so if a woman attacks you by calling you impure it allows her to feel like she's worth more in society's eyes by being "more pure". It's the same reason why the worst thing you can call another man is a "bitch", "faggot", "pussy", etc. because, within a patriarchal framework, the lowest thing a man can be is like a woman.
7. "Good father’s teach their daughters be as selective as possible before getting involved with someone I don’t know any that allow or accept let alone teach them that it’s acceptable to sleep around at any point in their life."
I think what good fathers actually teach is awareness and good judgment of others. The issue is more about people taking advantage of you, not in you making the sound decision to do something that you are aware of and are making a logical judgment call for. In the instance of sleeping around, just like we said before there are a lot of guys who want to just pump and dump, so a good father should teach their daughter to be conscious of other people's intentions. That would apply to sexual partners, your career, your friends or anyone else you invite into your life.
Thank you again for engaging in the conversation, I hope whoever reads these comments can walk away with something from both of our perspectives.
🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
Any actual opinions to share?
His opinion is a woman with high body count is fucking gross and I agree