I too suffer from CPTSD and I want you all to know that you've already paid the price of the abuse with years, and countless embarrassing scenarios; now it's your time to turn the pain into wisdom and thrive:) God Bless
I am 35 and was just diagnosed with complex-PTSD. I just had to pause this video halfway through because Jesus christ, I knew I was a mess.. but hearing all this and relating to all these symptoms explained, I realize just how messed up my brain is and it's a wonder if have made it this far in life. It really puts it into prospective of just how much of me needs to be healed. I feel like it's unfair because this was done to me and it's ruined my life... *Edit 1 year later:* I am almost 37 now and am now on SSI because I'm Medically disabled because of my complex-PTSD. I work with an AMAZING trauma therapist. I was reading through some of these comments and I thank and express sympathy to the other survivors for telling their story. I am still struggling every day but, I'm on the path of recovery. To the people who tell someone with a trauma disorder to "not look back" that's extremely invalidating. I suggest you research complex-PTSD because "looking back" isn't a choice, it's called a flashback.
Me to hun please get help if you feel like snapping because I did and should be in JAIL..I tried to rob a gun shop to kill gangbangas im very lucky the cops know me and know I'm not crazy. I snapped.
@@theresamischeski71 that's so sad. I snapped but my way of snapping was on the inside. I became completely intolerant of any stress. I can't handle almost anything. I have agoraphobia... it's like I just broke one day
@@nadineo1983 I sleep 1-4 hours a night and wake up shaking and in dread as soon as my eyes open. If I dream it's nightmares that are literally fear and devastation about what was done to me.
I had complex PTSD. I scored an 8 on the ACE test. I am 100% cured. I did this by learning about the subconscious mind from many teachers online, but, the main one was Bruce Lipton. Once I figure out my triggers, I went to a hypnotherapist and we discussed everything and he hypnotize me and recorded it, and every night I listened to it until I saw extreme change. It took about a week. I continued listening to the session for another three weeks just to be sure. It's been two and a half months now and still holding strong. No more sadness, depression, anxiety, fawning, procrastination, feeling as if not good enough, or shyness. Also, my health is improving every day. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life and feel like my life has started over. I'm 57 years old and ready to take on the world.
@@jonathanogrady4854 Shop around. I discovered I over paid, but, then realized, I would have "SOLD THE FARM" to get this kind of happiness & relief. If you're going to go to a Hypnotherapist, just be sure to find one that records the hypnosis part of the session & tells their clients to listen to it daily until healed. If that is not their standard practice, I wouldn't go to them, because, you most likely won't get cured. It's the repetition & the correct content (what you & your Hypnotherapist figure out is the root cause of your Complex-PTSD by talking. They need to have an understanding of Bruce Liptons teachings on this) One, maybe two sessions with the recordings should be all you need to get cured. My life is still overwhelmingly 100% better, &, it's now been 10 months since my session. You gotta REALLY want to it, &, study Bruce Lipton's teachings & also understand all the mechanics of hypnotherapy so you KNOW what is happening. I would recommend getting a good basic understanding of the quantum physics double slit experiment. It helped me realize that anything "really is possible". Especially if you have a strong desire for It. I wish you a full recovery. For me, there's nothing better than being free from Complex-PTSD.
@@scholar1231 I haven't payed for any treatment I'm having it done on the NHS this is rapid eye movement but I don't know if it will work but I will try anything right now I've delta with these issues for many years now. Cptsd is a nasty illness. I was abused at the age of 5 years old. Diagnosed 5 years ago. Changed my name back to my rightful irish birth name so I'm not related to those adopted relation any longer. Just found out this a few years ago, they never told me who I really am. Years of living lies. WHY ME. I often ask myself did they know that I was Irish and take the troubles out on me. A horrible life I've had pall. Ps I'm now 54
@22:56 "Traumatic symptoms are not caused by the "triggering" event itself. They stem from the frozen residue of energy that had not been resolved or discharged; this residue remains trapped in the nervous system where it can wreak havoc on our bodies and spirits." Beloved fellow wounded children with CPSTD, I share your deep grief and I love you. We have survived. Our victory lies in thriving. Bless us all.
Yes! Why is that?? I've been aware that I'm suffering from CPTSD but every time I ever even think about seeking help, I shut down. Just writing this comment is giving me anxiety and watching this video is tying a knot in my stomach.
I am 79 and have been diagnosed with CPTSD. It started at age 3. I recognize myself in a thousand ways in this presentation. Now I have begun to work with a group at Harvard using Ketamine and eventually MDMA, soon-to-be-approved by the FDA. They are in phase 3 trials now. It is never too late to heal. Permanently.
Hi. I’m 62 and found out a couple years ago that I too have complex trauma. As much as I’m glad it’s becoming known…I wish I could have gotten trauma focused treatment in my teens. I feel like I’m just existing and exhausted from battling all mental health issues stemming from Cptsd. I know I really need connection and the right support/therapy…but losing hope that things will ever be different. I wish I could be able to work with psilocybin or mdma…but by the time it’s available I feel it may be out of reach as far as affordability. Getting desperate.
@@joywilliams4014- As of late (last couple of years anyway) I keep running into people who are suffering with c-ptsd. Just meeting someone who can be sympathetic is helpful. It's interesting to share coping methods. I'm going to try either ketemine or micro-dosing psilocybin. Don't give up! Finding a compassionate therapist at any price is difficult.
Hi! There's no program like that where I live but was thinking of taking microdoses of dmt - or something else. I have been unable to work my whole life due to cptsd - never married and not interested in having relationships. Can you tell me how you're going on your ketamine and/or MDMA? Honestly, I think the only way out of this for me is the "rewiring the brain" which supposedly happens with this type of medication.
@@Mantras-and-Mystics I suspect you may have a cat like me. I haven't been able to do the MDMA yet and am waiting for FDA approval. However, I have done ketamine and yes, it has made a difference. It is actually a psychedelic trip that can be ineffably stupendous. It is also a major antidepressant. I have done six sessions now with a doctor from Harvard who referred me to a very good clinic where the providers also have PTSD. The first thing I have stopped hating myself. That's a start. I now realize I have been competent or excelled at everything I have done. Before ketamine, I beat myself up every day. My hypervigilance has also attenuated. Old memories have mostly dissolved in the rear view window. So yes, I would recommend ketamine and there will be future scheduled sessions. MDMA is supposed to be legal in 2024 and I look forward to it because ketamine has improved me. One other thing: I have nearly eliminated overreacting. I can't remember when I did that last. I hope this helps you. Be sure to find someone professional to get you started. 😚
It's really difficult for me to watch this. I keep having to remind myself it's just information intended to help bring hope, but it feels so heavy and overwhelming. Just having to admit to much of this and understand why it happened forces you to face the thing you've spent your life running away from. This happened to you, and you didn't deserve it, and it wasn't okay, and it damaged you beyond your ability to hide or ignore or manage without becoming a mirror of the thing that broke you. You can be fixed after all, but first you have to go back to things that damaged you, and it's terrifying. It's like being in a room full of smoke and knowing that you have to go to your knees before you can find clean air again.. But if you don't go there, it chokes you. As I'm listening, my heart is breaking to know this happening to so many people. I feel their pain and suffering and then there's the realization that I AM them and I feel immediately weak and guilty for feeling sorry for myself. What a mess. Why is it so hard for us to give ourselves the compassion and understanding we so readily offer others?
I'm 60 yrs old, almost 2 yrs into recovery. I never felt pain like this in my life. Getting conscious of a totally abusive upbringing. I was disassociating from my teenage yrs and am now almost completely in my body. The grief that is coming up is nonstop.
I’m 30 and still on my journey. I’ve gone up and down. I start to heal and feel my emotions, but I think I get so overwhelmed that I shut off again. Some of my fears are so overwhelming I start to hyperventilate when they happen. Some of them are less intense and just make me cry. Issue is I don’t think I can do this alone, I need help. I’ve tried talking to the inner child, but I’m still numb, but when I talk to people and feel seen, it helps me to release those emotions. I know that if I want to heal, I have to keep pushing through no matter what.
I felt all that crap happening again pain and frustration. I had no carefree play its by the grace of God I didn't completely fail at life. All I started adulthood with was a long list of what nots to do as a husband and father. Sadly the abused seem to breed dysfunction and pass the fucked up mindset on
@@pault9544 Get yourself a pet my little squirrel dog has been a blessing. He listens to my crap until I run out of treats, then he goes and gets in his bed. Therapists just dont want to hear our shit once you quit paying them other
You can do it. I’m 58 and working on reversing many wasted years. Something is starting to happen but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I’m not even sure how this all works but I just keep listening to videos and absorb. Don’t quit!
Eliana Boer Amazing, I was diagnosed with ptsd, been through trauma after trauma, started looking after dogs and I started feeling better. Best wishes to you and your boys ❤️
I spent 2 years just sleeping for 15-20 hours a day because I just couldn't stay awake. I thought it was depression but it was Severe Hypoarousal from CPTSD. After I left the traumatizing environment, it took me 3 years but I can leave the house now and my sleeping is regulated again. I felt so powerless I would just come home everyday and fall asleep until the next morning. I wish someone had started treating me for CPTSD earlier. This is the first time I've been able to actually apply remedies and have them work. Generalized Anxiety and Clinical Depression were not the problem, the problem was the abuse
Ive noticed that too. It seems like cptsd is the root of all other issues. Here we’ll treat the anxiety or depression but no one asks what is causing the anxiety & depression, or however it presents.
@@mikaking3150 for my personal situation it included treating; Extensive childhood neglect, abandonment, parent death, parent separation, parent suicide, caregiver suicide attempts, verbal abuse, narc abuse, caregiver w/ severe mental illness [schizophrenia and ocpd ] Between ages 14-22; so I have a lot of different remedies for A LOT of different symptoms . I started therapy at 14 after recognizing suicidal thoughts. I was getting better as I was taught how to retain my identity while facing verbal harassment from caregivers. When I was 15, my mom died and I spiraled as she was my last support. So when I was 18 I had spent 3 years basically asleep, I slowly shut down and couldn't get out of bed. So with that background; 1st. I left the abusive/unstable household ASAP, when I turned 18 I got the f* out and didn't look back 2nd. I gave myself space to be sick, i took a gap year to just work part time and let my body sleep and rest without the constant negative stimulus I had faced for 16 years.
@@mikaking3150 There is legit help! - Look up Crappy Childhood Fairy! on TH-cam!! -> th-cam.com/video/GXSlAfoJiAg/w-d-xo.html Free Resources in EVERY Video Description
This seminar saved my life! Today marks a year since I chose to stay and find the strength to start the journey of healing my complex trauma. While there is still a long road ahead of me my life is insanely different, more so than I could ever have imagined. For the first time ever I am happy to be alive and hope to continue to be here so I get to experience what the future holds. The 2 hours I spent watching this video were quite possibly the most important hours of my life so far. It has changed my entire course of existence. There is no way I could ever begin to express the level of gratitude I have that this resource exists.
I'm Already paralyzed, this video has me so pegged I'm like a paraplegic with the whole world staring at me telling me to just get UP AND WALK.....but no one can see I'm missing my legs.....metaphorically speaking
The UNSHACKLED Mind So perfectly stated. In my journey I lived in Fright, Flight then FREEZE and STUCK. Being stuck in FREEZE is a painful place to be. Sending positive vibes and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience.
I can SO identify with this "You're telling me to walk, but I have no legs!!!" feeling! (Which I am, thankfully, quite free from now.) If you're still feeling like this, a year on from posting, please take a look at my TH-cam channel videos. And please contact me for a chat - I can almost certainly help you to be free too! (That goes for all the other suffering, emotionally-hemorrhaging people in this comments section!) Talk to me, please!
This video has changed my life forever. I finally have hope after 55 years of struggling with anxiety, depression and self medication not to mention years of misdiagnosis from several therapists. Thank you! Blessings from New Orleans, Louisiana!🙏
I'm sorry for being so scared to come forward with the truth that could be the best solution for children who have been abused and left out in the dark
It always amazes me seeing s many people in their 50s and 60s + commenting that they are awakening to this and yet ready to still thrive, and it really inspires me ) i am 39 and feeling too old to get over all this so thank you guys)))
@ True, and i guess the it is never too late cliché really applies here. There s so much of what s inside our heads, and so much in our world and individual and collective realities that need to be filtered and really processed to be understood that it must take time and experience to fully integrate it all, i guess)
I’m high functioning. I can do very well academically, but I go through periods of complete numbness. I don’t necessarily feel like I’m suffering because I’m so detached from my emotions, but there’s a constant lack of being at peace. My mind is hypervigilant and sometimes I obsess over bodily functions. I know I need help.
Hypervigilant particularly describes my problem. Also, being high functioning in professions. I've always done fine in demanding jobs. But when quitting time comes, I'm lost while trying to have a personal life.
I found breathe work helps. Focus on safe thoughts and grounding like feel the chair see the plant. Having someone who understands would be a true gift. No one around me would understand I’m going through this so I’m forced into isolation to save face. At least people respect me but it’s totally on false pretenses Trust issues. Working on it. I’m looking into proper treatment vs a psychiatrist who just doesn’t get it. I’m off all meds really didn’t need them. I’m better off them. but still talk to the shrink since I’ve been with her for 8 years and she knows me. Update: I’m doing better and doing this trauma work really is healing. I am moving forward connecting to the right people. I’ve found truth in plant based diet I’m healthier and it’s a better world. It’s going to be okay I’m taking care and honoring myself and others. Joy health and a future We can recover and live better lives living consciously love to you all 💜
Ditto, been doing emotional healing Friday's on Masterco.org, & am still in Awe of truly feeling the healing energy that within minutes brings peace & stillness to the mind. Much gratitude to this channel, very valuable info & blessings to all!🙏👣❤🐾❤🌍🙏
not finished watching this but i can't believe how much it mimics my experience. Thank you for validating my feelings of being overwhelmed by, say, making lunch.
I found this to be so informative and validating. The aussie accent was relatable, which really helped me. The best thing was how Steve Stokes referred to "we" throughout the lecture. This made me feel much less stigmatised! Most talks say 'them' or 'sufferers' or patients or even subjects.
2 great books resources: both by Pete Walker. "Complex PTSD, from Thriving to Surviving" and "The Tao of Fully Feeling". The 1st is dense but useful. The 2nd is easier and definitely a great companion book. Thank you.
I have all those books. My problem now is....due to severe narcissist abuse my short term memory and concentration are really bad so I have to read slowly and reread....I get it done though, I highlighted parts and took notes
@@mightymouse1005 sounds like you have self awareness, some people read and don’t even consider they forgot it, just like the rote learning of school where it inevitably ends up in one ear and through the other. I’m sure you’ve tried it/do it but meditation seems to be the only thing that helped me with concentration issues. That and dopamine detoxing from instant gratification trash.
So I had to pause this. I broke down. I knew I had PTSD but I have never been able to verbalize any of what I have been going through and this man did it. Spot on! I feel a sense of freedom hearing his words. Thank you for taking the time to do this detailed video. 👏 😊
I found a program that is called Dynamic Neural Retraining System. It costs 250 dollars. I am saving up to buy it. If you would like, research it. I agree with you about the therapists I have seen many over the years. I pray you are on your way to healing your brain.
So true I remember one ass therapist I had used to say come in and be three years old next day and basically show how I feel when I did come in traumatised cause I had a X abusing me thru my kids and brainwashing them against me she said she'd have to question the rage I feel if I'm fit to be near my kids years later I confronted her what did the bitch say I think your confused I told her in a nice smiley face way she didn't support me and actually hurt me what an idiot I walked away insulted but glad I for first time spoke up for myself
We must be very careful who we choose as a therapist. People who have a only a counseling certificate or a 4 year bachelor's degree with no experience and no advanced trainings, will likely not be someone who can help us. It's the people who have taken the time to do additional training outside of college in order to obtain a more advanced education who become the experts in things like C-PTSD.
My health issues started seriously presenting at 25. I'm still at that stage of realizing the physical effects of what the constant trauma did to me and it just makes me so angry. I deserve to live! I don't want my body to give up on me 20 years before my peers leave this earth! My ACE score is 9/10, so I'm likely to die in my 50s at the latest but darn it I'm not going down without a fight!!!
For anyone who can't pay for therapy: One technique I've found that really helps me with managing flashbacks/traumatic memories is to not block out the memory. I've worked on letting in just a little piece of the memory at a time (not too much, so you don't panic), and just sitting and observing the memory as if it's a movie I'm watching. Usually I can only do that for a few seconds, currently. And then I'll think, "Hmm, that's intense. And that's part of my past. I can accept that it really happened, but also that I am now safe and not living through it." And I've found that doing this and not completely blocking the memory, or alternately, getting fully engrossed in it and frightening myself, the memory becomes less powerful when it comes back again. I no longer have the intense panic response to certain memories. It's also crucial if you try this, to have gentle talks with your inner child after a memory pops up, to reassure your inner child that you are there for her/him and are ready to protect her/him from harm, and that it's ok to feel all the different feelings that will come up around the memory, and that it's normal to have very strong feelings (including negative ones, if you were punished for showing negative emotion) about the issue. I hope this can help those of you who are barred from therapy due to capitalism/poverty and other crimes against humanity.
Cried the whole way through this. Not for me, but for someone I love more than anything, but who ultimately was unable to keep me in her life due to many of these C-PTSD symptoms and traits. It took hundreds of hours of studying and researching the psychology literature before I was able to identify and understand *what* was actually going on with her, because she's extremely avoidant of anything requiring introspection or autobiographical recall. However, the knowledge and understanding I now have, and specifically the insight I believe I've gained into my ex's actions & words, is a very heavy burden -- it reduces me to helpless sobbing every time I think about what she's gone through, how difficult her life has been, how far she has yet to go before she can begin to be whole. She's only vaguely aware that there might be something... different about her. It's overwhelming. Empathy is a bitch sometimes. I hurt more for her than she hurts for herself.
This made me get teary. I have complex-PTSD and to hear someone empathize like that feels good. A lot of us with complex-PTSD are always told there is something wrong with us inherently. That it's our fault
@@nicolemurphy2629 That is kind of a narcissistic response. Helping each other is how we have community. Putting someone ahead of yourself...there is a term for that, and it is not always (but sometimes) "doormat". It is love. That said, improving yourself is a journey everyone should be on, but not alone.
Same here. Thank God for bringing me here. My eyes where opened as I typed "emotional abuse" into TH-cam. Listen also to Tim Fletcher, Patrick Doyle, Ashley Berges👍🏿
Me too. I just left the hospital for what I thought was a heart attack. I'm overwhelmed at the thought of adding anything else to the list of symptoms i struggle to gain victory over. I feel like If I were a computer I'm shutting down right now because there is too much information. Not because of this video but my triggers have come back into my life. I havent watched this entire video yet but I'm doing that now. I hope you all gain tremendous ground over this stuff for me its stability and feeling safe I constantly need to feel safe the problem is my safe is very diff from everyone elses.
Heartfelt Gratitude for this information. I'm 70 and just now getting this information. This explains my life. Because I was so shame based, I could not admit to the dysfunction of my family and my life. I never would have described myself as immature and certainly never suspected that maybe my brain got rewired by trauma I didn't even realize occurred. Healing the WC and AAC with self love and nurturing has indeed been my path to recovery. This feels like enlightenment.
No professional or hospital ever mentioned CPTSD. Depression, anxiety, suicidal ideas and plans for 30 years even with plenty of pharmaceuticals did nothing. I had to keep striving to heal. Now, it all makes sense. Thank you for this life saving information.
So glad I came across this video. I am 52 now and just recently begun to realize that I'm pretty certain I suffer from either PTSD or Complex PTSD. I was unaware of CPTSD until I came across this video, but looking at all the symptoms there are many that hit the mark. I am a very high functioning survivor, but surviving isn't and shouldn't be enough. It is difficult to recognize or accept something that you've never been able to name, especially when you have preconceived notions about what one must have to experience to suffer from PTSD. Then again, I grew up in an era where any kind of abuse, neglect or addiction was kept secret and hidden. Thank you for posting this information.
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships.
After I read Pete Walker’s book I got attachment-based therapy as he advised. It’s necessary. I’m still seeing the therapist but I strongly recommend the following which I did later which really helps me: change diet - vegetarian, whole foods and organic where possible, no alcohol, no drugs, no coffee and caffeine, no refined sugar or processed foods. Also Transcendental Meditation. I tried other types like guided visualisation, but any effects were not long lasting. However I cannot recommend TM highly enough. I meditate 2 times a day. I do this for my health as it has given me more energy and purpose. These health lifestyle changes are making a positive impact that my therapy sessions are more fruitful. I really underestimated the power of meditation as different types didn’t work for me. TM is the only one that I feel is helping. I hope this helps others and just know that there is hope. But you’ve to take these steps to heal your mind, body and spirit as top priority no matter what, no matter how long it takes.
Deelot thanks for the tips I have some symptoms and this is one issue I face. I am learning more daily but I need a professional to help me put a plan in place for my healing. I am not happy that I have problems but things like the nuggets you left in your comment are Sparks in the darkness.
Diet is rarely addressed and is crucial. Vegan, eliminating animal products and by products helps a great deal. Thank you. My daughter has complex PTSD, and is currently hospitalized. My delima is we tried moving her out of state. She did well for about a month, then completely broke down. We don't know what to do now.
YES I found meditation also and I am plant based mostly raw vegan feeling a passion to take care of the planet, animals, and myself also. The truth will set you free. When I hurt my body or ignore it’s needs a darkness falls. I’m left needing again. An emptiness can happen that is avoidable if I can remain present. Interesting the memories that consumed me faced cleanly square in the face can become a part of who you are but not define you in darkness and confusion anymore. Grounding in the present is very healing. To avoid negative thoughts sometimes I do repetition of the mundane. This is a chair. My feet are on the floor. Etc to stay present out of negative thoughts memories or fears. Healing and thriving is possible. Baby steps but it’s always going forward. 💜💜🙏🏻
Omg : as soon as I heard your words describing findings into hard core drug addicts. I punched the air with elation and said “Yes yes YES!!” You hit the proverbial nail on the head and echoed my own epiphany that I had recently about my own “mother” and how she treated me : that not only did she fail to provide the basics in love and nurturing, she provided abuse on top of that. I worked this out by myself, through my own self awareness, through my own research and my back ground as a psychiatric nurse and my current studies in my Master of Counselling. It’s no accident that I ended up in the mental health field, I fully embrace it. I hope through healing myself, learning as much as I can, I may be able to open a practice of my own to give people the knowledge, power and faith to heal themselves, and indeed lead a better quality of life. Because no good, decent, caring, compassionate person, who has been through such trauma/abuse deserves to bear the pain and suffering that was selfishly inflicted on them by a lessor human. THANK YOU for the validation and the inspiration for not only my own healing journey, but to keep going in my dream to ultimately provide people the tools to heal themselves.
I hit emotional rock bottom four years ago. It was the first time in my life I started to connect how I was mistreated as a child and what gets me in constant emotional turmoil as an adult. With the help of Buddhism, I started looking inward to find answers to life. It's been a hard journey. But I'm feeling much better now - no longer living constantly with a sense of trauma.
I have never heard this explained as well. Almost 100% of what you said is exactly what I experience and struggle with. I’m literally crying that I’m not alone (sadly), but I’m not crazy and my symptoms are explainable and are not my fault (I’ve tried so hard to get better and be a functioning member of society and have good relationships, but I struggle so much.) This video will be so helpful to share with my husband and his family to maybe help them understand what I’m going through- life can feel so lonely feeling so misunderstood even by friends and my husband and in-laws. I’ve tried so hard to get them to understand I don’t want to be sick- that I’m not just imagining my troubles and I’m not lazy, crazy, or “wrong”- I’ve just been doing my best to survive.
Life is not a gift when you're not allowed to care for yourself. Shamed for being "needy" or called selfish for having boundaries/self-care (talk about a double-blind.)
It's hard to shake off the victim mindset it seems to be drilled into the bones in varying degrees with what has been endured individually. They may seem to be the same situation only unique to each individual and their circumstances in my hop
For sure. Add being a sober alcoholic/ addict and you have a triple whammy with few that understand or even can support you. I live in the present,yet am still healing. I have a therapist that I asked once again,his do I manage the triggers? I am only asked another question, when my question goes still unanswered???? I'm on Medicaid so his to get a specialist in this area?
@@justiceforall713 My ex is the perfect victim a part she'splayed so we'll. Played sick too long for her to instantly well. Hasn't been to the doctor but a few times since she left. Instant cure for her.
Some traumas are so severe that “thriving” isn’t an option. In such cases, survival is our only choice, and our brains protect us accordingly. It certainly isn’t healthy, but some things are best left buried.
This is the best single video on CPTSD I've ever watched. I've watched hundreds. This integrates all of the leading theories on the cause, symptoms, and effective treatment of PTSD. One can take a deeper dive by referencing the books noted in the presentation or researching those concepts and authors on TH-cam. This is absolutely an amazing watch. Thank you SPP.
Whoever you are and where ever you are in the journey of healing, please know that although the path to recovery is hard and it may feel isolating, it will not feel like this forever. You are growing in knowledge and creating new muscles in resiliency, both your brain and emotional muscles are put to work right now, the byproduct of exercise, pain will clear. I don't know you but I stand by how far you have come and you will be stronger. I look forward to it.
Okay . I just discovered thar I have C PTSD after years of suffering from anxiety, depression , social phobia , low self-esteem and dissociation . I really want to start living and thrive .I fell like I've been dead for so long just suffering . I'll come back after a year and see how far I made it through my journey . Wish me luck
Such an informative video. Thank you very much for your work. Our world desperately needs this information. I know I have made so much progress since I watched my first Bradshaw video 4 years ago, but I wonder if I'll ever be a fully functional, healthy adult. Watching videos like this is very validating, yet at the same time, almost disheartening. I wonder if I'll ever overcome myself. My biggest issue lately is the self-discipline to "make" myself do the work (& anything else for that matter). If I could isolate and hide under my bed for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly fine. Much love and many blessings to everyone else on this path. It took me 3 years to be able to say the words "I matter" without an overwhelming sense of guilt, fear, and shame. But I can do it now. Whenever I feel like I'm not moving fast enough, I remind myself of that victory. I pray that you have similar victories and milestones. Please be proud of yourself for even attempting to heal. So many hide behind their false ego masks and ignore their pain and dysfunction. The fact that you're even willing to try, says volumes about you. Much love! You matter!
@William Burr I have a daily practice and I agree that neural pathways can be rewritten. I think much of my progress is due to developing awareness as well as a willingness to surrender. Thank you so very much for the recommendation and the encouragement. Your message was timely. Have a blessed day
I am 25 and for 8 years I am trying to heal my mental state. I have tried everything, but nothing worked long term, it just seemed that there is no hope for me and that my case was unique. I knew my problems were something to do with trauma, even though I thought my upbringing wasn't that bad, but I decided to check out the cptsd from surviving to thriving book. And oh my god I was relating to every page, I never seen my case laid out so perfectly. Especially the part when he was talking that sometimes people with cptsd can feel total voidness and death feeling and that means that when they were babies they were left "to cry it out" and punished for behaving like a baby with no love. That brought me one nasty flashback from which I still cant get out. Considering I was living in a flashback for all my life pretty much, I was able to leave the flashback couple times in the last week. Flashbacks came back in around 6 hours, but it was nice feeling normal and with emotions for once.
Wow, this is so complete! The visuals and recommendations are very helpful, and I like the "we're all in this together" tone-- quite comforting while instructive as well. Thank you!
yep. I wont go near Dr's etc ...and have lived alone and isolated for 20 plus years. Gave up alcohol 30 years ago....it has been the only thing that helped me intergrate with society,but made me ill so had to stop...otherwise Id still be guzzleing to feel ok.
This just turned on a lightbulb in my brain. "Enmeshment is the same thing as abandonment." ....This explains the heavy hopeless heartbreak and sadness that I will feel for weeks at a time with no explanation... I couldnt figure it out. Why do I feel like I have a secret that I killed someone or that I have lost a loved one to a violent death? I have explored therapy and all sorts of self help books regarding commitment phobia and anxiety for 3 years. Now the trail has led me to CPTSD and I think it holds answers I need. I truly thought I was 100% unique and that nobody else could ever know these feelings. Wow....
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships. "May Your Health Be With You"
Thank you for all this essential information. We need to know and feel that we are not bad or defective. We need to feel self-compassion and hope. We need to listen to the child within who is scared and hurting. We need to give him or her love and care. We need to acknowledge the shame that we have been carrying, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable with those who have our best interests at heart. We need to listen to our bodies and our minds and respect them. We need to reparent ourselves in the nurturing way which we didn't experience when we needed it most. I would truly appreciate your input and any resources for parents like me going through Parental Alienation. I know that this is connected to complex trauma and I wish to heal myself from this retraumatization while helping my son to heal from the abuse that is being perpetrated towards him every day. 💚
That was one of the most powerful and well done talks I've heard in my life. I love your heart for healing and helping people find recovery. Thank you 🙏🏽
This is what I do to cope I picture my young self out in the dark under the rain crying and reach out and hug him and keep telling myself your no longer there your ok your safe. Mindfulness saved my life n helped me understand my triggers and learned how to ground myself thru hugging my young vulnerable sacred little self and see how resilient I became.
Thank you for this, I repeated the video for more than 10 times and took notes. I cant believe I have not known this about myself until now! I hope that the society at large will soon put more emphasis on our mental health than of physical health, especially on children's.
Absolutely profound. For those who are just beginning the video, please have patience! The video is 100% worth the watch, he actually provides methods, evidence, and activities that we can use to develop the brain/progress further. Awesome. Thanks!
I’m so grateful for the research of each one who brought this information to be brought forth. Just knowing there is hope has changed my whole perception of life. Being 37 ad still struggling is really hard to explain to loved ones when you don’t know EXACTLY how to explain what’s going on. This webinar has explained so much of why I am the way I am, and is helping me find ways of recovery. Thank you!!
Mystory. I am 73, now. Been a searcher all my life. I did a 30 day course to improve my breathing. Then I spent time with the physiotherapist who created the course. This took away my death wish. Got a lot more insight. It is not a magic bullet "cure". I have to work with new insights and new perspectives. I do slide backwards sometimes. I think that checking breathing function could be a component of diagnosis. That is my personal message. Thanks.
Survival skills instead of thriving skills. Wow if only I would have known. I do now thanks to this video at 51. I'm not dead yet although sometimes I feel I am I am not and I want to live and thrive. Thank you for this informational video.
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships. "May Your Health Be With You"
I am 58. It’s a miracle I’ve made it this far. My parents are still alive and have abused me my entire life up to just a few years ago when I went no contact
Good for you. Setting that no contact boundary is the first step to healing. I was the last child; my siblings were more than happy to have me care for our ancient mother, who died at 107. Take good care of yourself. A new commenter mentioned Meditation; I concur...I find it essential.
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships. "May Your Health Be With You"
I have been doing a lot of work to get through my CPTSD from multiple sources, this video is so informative of missing aspects. That there are different responses based on types. Where you get stuck, how we respond. I know I'm a mess right now but I feel more equipped to tackle that now. I used to be high functioning but I went through a catastrophic break of the body and mind, and it's near impossible for those around me to understand because I cant explain it.
Thank you sooo much. I was burnt as a 4 year old child. I had extensive skin grafts to my legs and therefore had to be isolated for a long period. My dad was violent and my mother was overtly religious. I have plenty issues as you can imagine. So I really needed to hear this.
Mate, this was an unbelievable 1 hr 17 minutes. Thank you so much for your insights, care and effort in putting this today. Newly diagnosed with CPTSD at 40. That hits hard. And I am grieving. But I understand why now. Thank you brother x
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships.
I'm over coming the horrible life of the after effects of the past abuse and living in extreme fear. now I have to confront the man who has a "feel right" to scream at me when he feel like it. tonight Im going to stand up to this big man and let him know its inexcusable behavior. Im 6o+and I want it to stop. I dont have to let this to continue. Thanks for all the helpful information.
In order to get your point across to this "big man" you need to use a megaphone set on high volume, but speak clearly so the "big man" can get a whiff of what it feels like to be talked to really loud. On the other hand, if this "big man" is so stupid to recognize the message even after you explain it to him via the mega phone, give it up and take up teaching pigs how to sing. You will then have better luck.
Mariana Whitaker I see your reply was a year ago but I just had to respond to what you said. After 20 years of marriage, I finally reached my limit and refused to answer the phone after being verbally abused one too many times. My narcissistic soon to be ex husbands reaction was to discard me. That was 2 years ago and he has had a new supply/relationship for over a year now. I’m disabled and he is refusing to pay alimony and blowing every penny he makes on anything and everything. Meanwhile, I am losing my home and likely my 3 fur babies as well. Once a narcissist realizes he can no longer feed off of you because you create boundaries where there were none previously, it usually results in a very unfavorable outcome. Quite often, it can put your life at risk because when they realize they no longer have control over you and start raging, their behavior can be deadly. I hope you are in a much better place physically, emotionally and mentally from where you were a year ago. And truthfully, I hope you were able to extricate yourself from that relationship because narcissists NEVER change. Anyone who abuses another person will continue to do so as long as they have the opportunity. Everything I say has been learned from personal experience over 20+ years of my life. Narcissistic abuse will only end when either you remove yourself from the relationship and run as far away as fast as you can (which I wish I’d done) or they discard you. In the case of the latter, they will drop you when they have sucked the life and resources out of you. Rebuilding your life becomes much more difficult and the older you are, the more challenging starting over with nothing is. We find that we have been at war with this person and the destruction they leave behind requires years if not decades to heal from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Recovering our self esteem, our sanity, our shattered dreams and rebuilding our financial health and even many times just finding a roof over our heads is a monumental task. They take away everything and if you don’t have a strong support network, the chances of fully recovering to the point where you can function during your day to day life decreases substantially. There is very little real help out there if you find yourself destitute as I am. I wake up in terror every morning thinking about how I am going to survive. Due to spinal degeneration and what I now realize are the effects from a lifetime of abuse, I am no longer able to work and support myself and have been on disability for several years. The meager disability income puts me way below the poverty line established by the US government. I just want everyone to know, you cannot have a successful marriage or relationship with a narcissist. There will never be a way to get them to see what they are doing to you because they just don’t care. The only thing they care about is whether their needs are being met and their needs involve making someone else’s life a living hell among other things. They feed off of people who are kind, caring, compassionate empaths. They are emotional vampires and will drain every drop of your life force if given the opportunity. There is a lot of talk about what makes a narcissist a narcissist. I feel trying to be identify whether or not you are dating a narcissist or married to one wastes crucial time and leads to self doubt. You only need ask yourself one question. Does the person I’m with treat me badly and how do they make me feel? If your significant other has EVER snapped at you for anything, you need to run. People who love you will not make you feel bad. Everyone has the basic human right to feel respected. If you do not, you are being abused whether it be in an intimate relationship or by a supervisor or co-workers or friends. ONE, DONE, RUN is my mantra. Disrespect or abuse me once and I am done and will run to safety. That is how I am making sure I’ll never fall under the spell of a narcissist ever again. I hope relaying my experience and what I have learned prevents others from becoming targets. If someone yells at you and/or criticizes you, that is not love. It’s abuse and running away immediately is the only way to protect yourself from a life of excruciating pain. Kindness and joy to all.
Thank you so much for putting this presentation together and sharing, Steven. There's obviously a huge amount of passion and compassion running through it and I really appreciate it x
Seriously. I am so happy I found this video of you. I can relate to everything you said. I also have C-PTSD. And just started therapy. And I think it’s super brave you mad this video. You explained it so damn well. It’s easy to understand. Idk I am just really happy about this. Thank you so much. ❤️ we need people to be informed. And inspire others how are in the same situation. You can make it. Idk that all. Thank you again. Super cool.
Happy Thanksgiving. I ended up here again in 2022. Still working on my story, healing. The greatest thing I've come to know is myself- having a gentle approach to my feelings, reactions, experiences is key. Forgiveness and acceptance- 12 step are useful, free and loyal. In my aloneness, I am enjoying writing...everything: feelings, all my life experience, good, bad and the ugly. Blessings to all.
Thanks, this a comprehansive overview of CPTSD. This paints a grim picture of my life and a big part of my inner world but also offers hope for better days to come.
Maurice, how are you doing? half my life l was on emotional and mental lockdown. "Tunnel Vision" now l've had 35 years out of that tunnel. I now see there was someone watching over me. I stopped breathing as a infant. Turned blue, almost drowned at nine. Big drop off and l didn't know how to swim. Been beaten as l was sleeping, had to put not normal words to describe what my body went through. Had guns pointed at me twice. Tried to commit suicide at least 5 times as a young adult. Had a counselor tell me, "You need God" well l found Him! Through His Son, Jesus Christ, and He Loves you very much! John 3:16 and John chap. 17, KJV
@@Gemmarose9012 Today is the first day of your life. Don't let your life be for nothing. If you knew what you had to do even to be born. And if any of the other sperm (Thousands ) had made it to your mother's egg, you wouldn't have come into existence. Just think about it! God doesn't make a mistake.
It’s incredible how excruciating it is to listen to all of this. Just the dread it brings up every single step of the way. The terrible irony of the need to run from exactly what you must do to not run away anymore.
Such a comprehensive overview on this topic. It might seem a bit overwhelming for some but small steps in the right direction over time will create powerful changes.
Mind blown 🙏🏽 excellent. As a recovering addict recently in therapy for CPTSD this video beautifully sums up the complex solution to primary & secondary symptoms of CPTSD/Addiction. Thank you!
This is a wonderful explanation. I had 3 car crashes in 2008, developed ptsd, retraumatised by suppressed sexual abuse and emotional neglect , then 2016 diagnosed with aggressive brain tumour, had brain surgery in 2017 and am still recovering!. For years after surgery I couldn't understand why I did not do something about all the symptoms I was experiencing from the brain tumour. Total disassociation!, now I understand why. I was hoping with cptsd for years , I couldn't even realise why I was on /off anti depressants for so long! Since having surgery is the first time thast I've really been able to take the time and acknowledge it.
Thank you for this, SO much is falling into place now. Some stuff fell into place 10 years ago when I was diagnosed with BPD, but mostly as I learned that many with the disorder were sexually abused and traumatized in childhood. That triggered healing and more attention to DBT, which certainly helped but much of the healing came naturally. My therapist said I mostly did it on my own... Not everything was healed but now that I'm learning more about CPTSD, so much more makes sense and even more is falling into place. Thank you so much.
It's just amazing how much more compassion people have and how much easier it is to treat yourself with it once you realize it's probably CPTSD more than BPD. Finally I can stop judging myself and being judged so harshly.
I have complex PTSD. I’m really struggling right now through the covid pandemic, the rioting and the wildfires and bad air quality in the Pacific Northwest. I keep having panic attacks and I feel so alone. Feel like I’m going around in circles instead of moving forward
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships. "May Your Health Be With You"
I'm 53 and I've been unknowingly struggling all my life with severe cptsd. All I remember from my first 18 years is huge amounts of physical, verbal and emotional cruelty from my mother, while my father, also abused and ranging from complete denial to semi aware enabling simp. I managed to go away and numb down that hell with all kinds of misbehaviors. My last 20 years of therapy lost on misleading confusion. Just recently starting to realize on my own what has been going on, while trying not to kill myself in the meantime. Despite digging answers for the very first time, I’m also noticing the issue is way tougher and more complicated that I thought. Now I know all my life, all I did, has been a huge dissociation. Completely wasted time. It looks like, in order to have a real life, I’ll have to go now, ill equipped and climb a mountain. Isolated, unemployed, semi homeless, in debt and in a country with very limited options to rely on. I know life’s not fair, but this is ridiculous.
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships. "May Your Health Be With You"
Thank you for this comprehensive video. As a trauma specialist it makes me happy to see information shared so that stigma, isolation and self-abuse can be lessened. Well done!
Through CoDa I learnt about SPP from people who attended this program model in Sydney. Today I had the courage to pick up the phone to ring the South Pacific Private for more information after viewing the website & listening to this video by Steve Stokes......this has given me much hope for healing in the near future so that life can be worth living. My sincere thanks for all the time that Zoe, Claire & Elle spent with me on the telephone. Looking forward to arrangeing a time to spend at SPP.
Thankyou for such a comprenhensive overview of Complex PTSD and for making this information available online. As a person with Complex PTSD surviving over 30 years with the condition while caregiving for two family members with scitzoprhenia and with scitzoaffective disorder and as public advocate for mental health. I thankyou and will share this information with many many people. Peoples don't realize just how debilitating PTSD is to sufferer they compare with other severe mental health illness' as if it's simple "get over it" stigma. This really helps to explain just how complex PTSD is and highlights that its every bit as serious, life altering and debilitating as illness' such as scitzophrenia, scitzoaffective, bipolar ect.
This is probably, likely for sure, most informative bit of info regarding what I've been through that I've ever listened to, read or been instructed about. I've been at this for getting near ten years and seemed to be going backwards at times, you have helped me to further unravel the twisted plot that I was so unconscious of and am now digesting and accepting, hard as it is.
Thank you so much with this great video. I was diagnosed with PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and bipolar, but in the recent months the PTSD has been changed to C-PTSD, at least by a therapist. I guess C-PTSD isn't in the DSM. I've heard that women are often misdiagnosed with bipolar when in actuality it's C-PTSD. What is your take on that? Thank you for talking about the sort of Stockholm syndrome that we get. Can you talk about learned helpless? It explains a lot. btw, your Australian accent and is very calming to me.
Anna I've heard of this misdiagnosis as well. My psychiatrist had one session with me and told me after listening to me, that I do not suffer from bi-polar disorder, but emotional abuse.
I was diagnosed bipolar as well as ADHD after losing both of my parents and then being emotionally abused by my caretaker as a child. Really blows my mind that you can sit in a room with a person and they can tell you after 30 minutes that you're bipolar and pump you full of (since recalled, in my case) drugs when you're 16 years old.
@@asuune bipolar disorder's medicine is very harmful for cptsd , I was on lithium and buspirone, high doses, I deteriorated very quickly. I screamed and cried out with specific pleas for help. I was unheard. 44 years of abuse from my caretakers and myself. I'm wore out. There's no treatment list for everyone but there are people who have been through everything collectively. Still petrified with going to get help from the same people that pill milled me. Ritalin to latuda..no more drugs please. I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with these feelings that are rapidly pounding my head in.
I too suffer from CPTSD and I want you all to know that you've already paid the price of the abuse with years, and countless embarrassing scenarios; now it's your time to turn the pain into wisdom and thrive:) God Bless
I hear ya. I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
@ George Tobey Thank you for that
Thank you
@@AshJae what are you even non-sensing about?
God bless you too
I am 35 and was just diagnosed with complex-PTSD. I just had to pause this video halfway through because Jesus christ, I knew I was a mess.. but hearing all this and relating to all these symptoms explained, I realize just how messed up my brain is and it's a wonder if have made it this far in life. It really puts it into prospective of just how much of me needs to be healed. I feel like it's unfair because this was done to me and it's ruined my life...
*Edit 1 year later:*
I am almost 37 now and am now on SSI because I'm Medically disabled because of my complex-PTSD. I work with an AMAZING trauma therapist.
I was reading through some of these comments and I thank and express sympathy to the other survivors for telling their story.
I am still struggling every day but, I'm on the path of recovery.
To the people who tell someone with a trauma disorder to "not look back" that's extremely invalidating. I suggest you research complex-PTSD because "looking back" isn't a choice, it's called a flashback.
Me to hun please get help if you feel like snapping because I did and should be in JAIL..I tried to rob a gun shop to kill gangbangas im very lucky the cops know me and know I'm not crazy. I snapped.
@@theresamischeski71 that's so sad. I snapped but my way of snapping was on the inside. I became completely intolerant of any stress. I can't handle almost anything. I have agoraphobia... it's like I just broke one day
I hope you overcame it🙏
@@nadineo1983
I sleep 1-4 hours a night and wake up shaking and in dread as soon as my eyes open. If I dream it's nightmares that are literally fear and devastation about what was done to me.
Confused
I had complex PTSD. I scored an 8 on the ACE test. I am 100% cured. I did this by learning about the subconscious mind from many teachers online, but, the main one was Bruce Lipton. Once I figure out my triggers, I went to a hypnotherapist and we discussed everything and he hypnotize me and recorded it, and every night I listened to it until I saw extreme change. It took about a week. I continued listening to the session for another three weeks just to be sure. It's been two and a half months now and still holding strong. No more sadness, depression, anxiety, fawning, procrastination, feeling as if not good enough, or shyness. Also, my health is improving every day. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life and feel like my life has started over. I'm 57 years old and ready to take on the world.
@@jonathanogrady4854 Shop around. I discovered I over paid, but, then realized, I would have "SOLD THE FARM" to get this kind of happiness & relief. If you're going to go to a Hypnotherapist, just be sure to find one that records the hypnosis part of the session & tells their clients to listen to it daily until healed. If that is not their standard practice, I wouldn't go to them, because, you most likely won't get cured. It's the repetition & the correct content (what you & your Hypnotherapist figure out is the root cause of your Complex-PTSD by talking. They need to have an understanding of Bruce Liptons teachings on this) One, maybe two sessions with the recordings should be all you need to get cured. My life is still overwhelmingly 100% better, &, it's now been 10 months since my session. You gotta REALLY want to it, &, study Bruce Lipton's teachings & also understand all the mechanics of hypnotherapy so you KNOW what is happening. I would recommend getting a good basic understanding of the quantum physics double slit experiment. It helped me realize that anything "really is possible". Especially if you have a strong desire for It. I wish you a full recovery. For me, there's nothing better than being free from Complex-PTSD.
@@scholar1231 I haven't payed for any treatment I'm having it done on the NHS this is rapid eye movement but I don't know if it will work but I will try anything right now I've delta with these issues for many years now.
Cptsd is a nasty illness. I was abused at the age of 5 years old.
Diagnosed 5 years ago.
Changed my name back to my rightful irish birth name so I'm not related to those adopted relation any longer. Just found out this a few years ago, they never told me who I really am.
Years of living lies. WHY ME.
I often ask myself did they know that I was Irish and take the troubles out on me.
A horrible life I've had pall. Ps I'm now 54
Mate, can I contact you anywhere? Would love some more info on this
@@YungDreezy You can email me at scholar12342000@yahoo.com.
You should continue to have these negative emotions. Deadening yourself to them will only bring suffering.
@22:56 "Traumatic symptoms are not caused by the "triggering" event itself. They stem from the frozen residue of energy that had not been resolved or discharged; this residue remains trapped in the nervous system where it can wreak havoc on our bodies and spirits."
Beloved fellow wounded children with CPSTD, I share your deep grief and I love you. We have survived. Our victory lies in thriving. Bless us all.
Peace be with you, as well.
exactly. high functioning in job or on tasks, then feel "numb" , hypervigilant and anxious during down time. Lots of fear towards life. exhausting.
th-cam.com/video/heah_Ncqwps/w-d-xo.html
Well this is me😌🥲
Complex trauma the only illness where evenTHINKING about helping yourself can be more scary than life its self!
Yes! Why is that?? I've been aware that I'm suffering from CPTSD but every time I ever even think about seeking help, I shut down. Just writing this comment is giving me anxiety and watching this video is tying a knot in my stomach.
@@Rascaltastic Do you know Crappy Child hood Fairy?
@@Rascaltastic She will help🌿
oh my god i thought i was the only one......❤️
@@mer101010 so did I I could cry. I thought I was really defective. This gave me peace for a minute like oh shit there's a legit reason
I am 79 and have been diagnosed with CPTSD. It started at age 3. I recognize myself in a thousand ways in this presentation. Now I have begun to work with a group at Harvard using Ketamine and eventually MDMA, soon-to-be-approved by the FDA. They are in phase 3 trials now. It is never too late to heal. Permanently.
Hi. I’m 62 and found out a couple years ago that I too have complex trauma. As much as I’m glad it’s becoming known…I wish I could have gotten trauma focused treatment in my teens. I feel like I’m just existing and exhausted from battling all mental health issues stemming from Cptsd. I know I really need connection and the right support/therapy…but losing hope that things will ever be different. I wish I could be able to work with psilocybin or mdma…but by the time it’s available I feel it may be out of reach as far as affordability. Getting desperate.
@@joywilliams4014- As of late (last couple of years anyway) I keep running into people who are suffering with c-ptsd. Just meeting someone who can be sympathetic is helpful. It's interesting to share coping methods. I'm going to try either ketemine or micro-dosing psilocybin. Don't give up! Finding a compassionate therapist at any price is difficult.
Peace be with you.
Hi! There's no program like that where I live but was thinking of taking microdoses of dmt - or something else.
I have been unable to work my whole life due to cptsd - never married and not interested in having relationships.
Can you tell me how you're going on your ketamine and/or MDMA?
Honestly, I think the only way out of this for me is the "rewiring the brain" which supposedly happens with this type of medication.
@@Mantras-and-Mystics I suspect you may have a cat like me. I haven't been able to do the MDMA yet and am waiting for FDA approval. However, I have done ketamine and yes, it has made a difference. It is actually a psychedelic trip that can be ineffably stupendous. It is also a major antidepressant. I have done six sessions now with a doctor from Harvard who referred me to a very good clinic where the providers also have PTSD. The first thing I have stopped hating myself. That's a start. I now realize I have been competent or excelled at everything I have done. Before ketamine, I beat myself up every day. My hypervigilance has also attenuated. Old memories have mostly dissolved in the rear view window. So yes, I would recommend ketamine and there will be future scheduled sessions. MDMA is supposed to be legal in 2024 and I look forward to it because ketamine has improved me. One other thing: I have nearly eliminated overreacting. I can't remember when I did that last. I hope this helps you. Be sure to find someone professional to get you started. 😚
It's really difficult for me to watch this. I keep having to remind myself it's just information intended to help bring hope, but it feels so heavy and overwhelming. Just having to admit to much of this and understand why it happened forces you to face the thing you've spent your life running away from. This happened to you, and you didn't deserve it, and it wasn't okay, and it damaged you beyond your ability to hide or ignore or manage without becoming a mirror of the thing that broke you.
You can be fixed after all, but first you have to go back to things that damaged you, and it's terrifying. It's like being in a room full of smoke and knowing that you have to go to your knees before you can find clean air again.. But if you don't go there, it chokes you.
As I'm listening, my heart is breaking to know this happening to so many people. I feel their pain and suffering and then there's the realization that I AM them and I feel immediately weak and guilty for feeling sorry for myself. What a mess. Why is it so hard for us to give ourselves the compassion and understanding we so readily offer others?
Because it's painfully obvious that we are the ones who can't be forgiven.. I'm dying so much faster now than ever before
@@tonymessier2521 We have to learn to forgive ourselves. That's our cross. Wishing you peace and sending you good thoughts. 🙏🏻
@@SolaGratia. I will never forgive myself..
@@tonymessier2521 Cassandra Mack on youtube has a series on forgiving. I urge you to check it out.
Your not alone.
I'm 60 yrs old, almost 2 yrs into recovery. I never felt pain like this in my life. Getting conscious of a totally abusive upbringing. I was disassociating from my teenage yrs and am now almost completely in my body. The grief that is coming up is nonstop.
I’m 30 and still on my journey. I’ve gone up and down. I start to heal and feel my emotions, but I think I get so overwhelmed that I shut off again. Some of my fears are so overwhelming I start to hyperventilate when they happen. Some of them are less intense and just make me cry. Issue is I don’t think I can do this alone, I need help. I’ve tried talking to the inner child, but I’m still numb, but when I talk to people and feel seen, it helps me to release those emotions. I know that if I want to heal, I have to keep pushing through no matter what.
I felt all that crap happening again pain and frustration. I had no carefree play its by the grace of God I didn't completely fail at life. All I started adulthood with was a long list of what nots to do as a husband and father. Sadly the abused seem to breed dysfunction and pass the fucked up mindset on
@@pault9544
Get yourself a pet my little squirrel dog has been a blessing. He listens to my crap until I run out of treats, then he goes and gets in his bed. Therapists just dont want to hear our shit once you quit paying them other
Glad , you are healing
You can do it. I’m 58 and working on reversing many wasted years. Something is starting to happen but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I’m not even sure how this all works but I just keep listening to videos and absorb.
Don’t quit!
Spending time with animals really heals.
My boys and I are in horse therapy. It’s been a godsend. Animals have a peace that helps ppl to connect with something more infinite.
Eliana Boer Amazing, I was diagnosed with ptsd, been through trauma after trauma, started looking after dogs and I started feeling better. Best wishes to you and your boys ❤️
not if you are afraid of animals.
Unless the animal attacks you
For me it doesn't help. they don't do anything it changes nothing...
I spent 2 years just sleeping for 15-20 hours a day because I just couldn't stay awake. I thought it was depression but it was Severe Hypoarousal from CPTSD. After I left the traumatizing environment, it took me 3 years but I can leave the house now and my sleeping is regulated again.
I felt so powerless I would just come home everyday and fall asleep until the next morning. I wish someone had started treating me for CPTSD earlier. This is the first time I've been able to actually apply remedies and have them work.
Generalized Anxiety and Clinical Depression were not the problem, the problem was the abuse
Ive noticed that too. It seems like cptsd is the root of all other issues. Here we’ll treat the anxiety or depression but no one asks what is causing the anxiety & depression, or however it presents.
@@mikaking3150 for my personal situation it included treating; Extensive childhood neglect, abandonment, parent death, parent separation, parent suicide, caregiver suicide attempts, verbal abuse, narc abuse, caregiver w/ severe mental illness [schizophrenia and ocpd ]
Between ages 14-22; so I have a lot of different remedies for A LOT of different symptoms .
I started therapy at 14 after recognizing suicidal thoughts. I was getting better as I was taught how to retain my identity while facing verbal harassment from caregivers.
When I was 15, my mom died and I spiraled as she was my last support.
So when I was 18 I had spent 3 years basically asleep, I slowly shut down and couldn't get out of bed. So with that background;
1st. I left the abusive/unstable household ASAP, when I turned 18 I got the f* out and didn't look back
2nd. I gave myself space to be sick, i took a gap year to just work part time and let my body sleep and rest without the constant negative stimulus I had faced for 16 years.
@@mikaking3150 I am short on cortisol so I avoid getting angry... I used it all up a long time ago
@@syntacc8462 thank you for sharing, I hope you get better every day so maybe you can help others get better!
@@mikaking3150 There is legit help! - Look up Crappy Childhood Fairy! on TH-cam!! -> th-cam.com/video/GXSlAfoJiAg/w-d-xo.html Free Resources in EVERY Video Description
This is probably the biggest obstacle I will overcome in my entire life
And even the way is long, there are other human like me, believing in you.
Same. And roller skating.
Same 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔
100%
@@eeelizzz 🤣
This seminar saved my life! Today marks a year since I chose to stay and find the strength to start the journey of healing my complex trauma. While there is still a long road ahead of me my life is insanely different, more so than I could ever have imagined. For the first time ever I am happy to be alive and hope to continue to be here so I get to experience what the future holds. The 2 hours I spent watching this video were quite possibly the most important hours of my life so far. It has changed my entire course of existence.
There is no way I could ever begin to express the level of gratitude I have that this resource exists.
You're doing fantastic. Well done. I'm right there with you - long road ahead but it's all about saying yes!
I'm Already paralyzed, this video has me so pegged I'm like a paraplegic with the whole world staring at me telling me to just get UP AND WALK.....but no one can see I'm missing my legs.....metaphorically speaking
I feel you.
Perfect metaphor 😏
The UNSHACKLED Mind So perfectly stated. In my journey I lived in Fright, Flight then FREEZE and STUCK.
Being stuck in FREEZE is a painful place to be. Sending positive vibes and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience.
Frozen also
I can SO identify with this "You're telling me to walk, but I have no legs!!!" feeling! (Which I am, thankfully, quite free from now.) If you're still feeling like this, a year on from posting, please take a look at my TH-cam channel videos. And please contact me for a chat - I can almost certainly help you to be free too! (That goes for all the other suffering, emotionally-hemorrhaging people in this comments section!) Talk to me, please!
This video has changed my life forever. I finally have hope after 55 years of struggling with anxiety, depression and self medication not to mention years of misdiagnosis from several therapists. Thank you! Blessings from New Orleans, Louisiana!🙏
I'm sorry for being so scared to come forward with the truth that could be the best solution for children who have been abused and left out in the dark
Wrong medicine made me catatonic with hard feelings about how I was destroyed by the people who were supposed to be my teachers and protectors
@@tonymessier2521 fight harder bruh, and get help. Face your demons and squash them
It always amazes me seeing s many people in their 50s and 60s + commenting that they are awakening to this and yet ready to still thrive, and it really inspires me ) i am 39 and feeling too old to get over all this so thank you guys)))
@ True, and i guess the it is never too late cliché really applies here. There s so much of what s inside our heads, and so much in our world and individual and collective realities that need to be filtered and really processed to be understood that it must take time and experience to fully integrate it all, i guess)
I’m high functioning. I can do very well academically, but I go through periods of complete numbness. I don’t necessarily feel like I’m suffering because I’m so detached from my emotions, but there’s a constant lack of being at peace. My mind is hypervigilant and sometimes I obsess over bodily functions. I know I need help.
This is me
Ditto... it's an exhausting feeling of disconnection, from ourselves, from others... I think it must take huge amounts of energy
Hypervigilant particularly describes my problem. Also, being high functioning in professions. I've always done fine in demanding jobs. But when quitting time comes, I'm lost while trying to have a personal life.
I found breathe work helps. Focus on safe thoughts and grounding like feel the chair see the plant. Having someone who understands would be a true gift. No one around me would understand I’m going through this so I’m forced into isolation to save face. At least people respect me but it’s totally on false pretenses Trust issues. Working on it. I’m looking into proper treatment vs a psychiatrist who just doesn’t get it. I’m off all meds really didn’t need them. I’m better off them. but still talk to the shrink since I’ve been with her for 8 years and she knows me.
Update: I’m doing better and doing this trauma work really is healing. I am moving forward connecting to the right people. I’ve found truth in plant based diet I’m healthier and it’s a better world. It’s going to be okay I’m taking care and honoring myself and others. Joy health and a future We can recover and live better lives living consciously love to you all 💜
Ditto, been doing emotional healing Friday's on Masterco.org, & am still in Awe of truly feeling the healing energy that within minutes brings peace & stillness to the mind. Much gratitude to this channel, very valuable info & blessings to all!🙏👣❤🐾❤🌍🙏
This explains alot about me to myself...now I know why I'm so avoidant to others...
Nancy Carlsen it’s NOT about you it’s the things YOURE going through
Same
adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
not finished watching this but i can't believe how much it mimics my experience. Thank you for validating my feelings of being overwhelmed by, say, making lunch.
Yes!
Totally agree. :-/
Wow fr making my family dinner turns into a huge stressful ordeal where I can't even focus, like with almost everything :(
@@luxaeterna1592know the feeling
@@andreawimer4334 same here
I found this to be so informative and validating. The aussie accent was relatable, which really helped me. The best thing was how Steve Stokes referred to "we" throughout the lecture. This made me feel much less stigmatised! Most talks say 'them' or 'sufferers' or patients or even subjects.
adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
I really liked his use of we too. It felt inclusive and validating as well as comforting somehow
2 great books resources: both by Pete Walker. "Complex PTSD, from Thriving to Surviving" and "The Tao of Fully Feeling". The 1st is dense but useful. The 2nd is easier and definitely a great companion book. Thank you.
thanks Makayla :)
@@hannahroothmusic your welcome hannh
I have all those books.
My problem now is....due to severe narcissist abuse my short term memory and concentration are really bad so I have to read slowly and reread....I get it done though, I highlighted parts and took notes
@@mightymouse1005 sounds like you have self awareness, some people read and don’t even consider they forgot it, just like the rote learning of school where it inevitably ends up in one ear and through the other. I’m sure you’ve tried it/do it but meditation seems to be the only thing that helped me with concentration issues. That and dopamine detoxing from instant gratification trash.
So I had to pause this. I broke down. I knew I had PTSD but I have never been able to verbalize any of what I have been going through and this man did it. Spot on! I feel a sense of freedom hearing his words. Thank you for taking the time to do this detailed video. 👏 😊
Good for you! Have you checked out a ACA yet?
EXACTLY!!!!!! Well said!!!
Peace be with you Ask Nicely :)
Too bad none of the therapists Ive seen know any of this. Therapy itself is gaslighting and re-traumatizing.
I found a program that is called Dynamic Neural Retraining System. It costs 250 dollars. I am saving up to buy it. If you would like, research it. I agree with you about the therapists I have seen many over the years. I pray you are on your way to healing your brain.
So true I remember one ass therapist I had used to say come in and be three years old next day and basically show how I feel when I did come in traumatised cause I had a X abusing me thru my kids and brainwashing them against me she said she'd have to question the rage I feel if I'm fit to be near my kids years later I confronted her what did the bitch say I think your confused I told her in a nice smiley face way she didn't support me and actually hurt me what an idiot I walked away insulted but glad I for first time spoke up for myself
@@emilymosheh I heard about this programme few years ago did I get it yet
Unfortunately, that's true
We must be very careful who we choose as a therapist. People who have a only a counseling certificate or a 4 year bachelor's degree with no experience and no advanced trainings, will likely not be someone who can help us. It's the people who have taken the time to do additional training outside of college in order to obtain a more advanced education who become the experts in things like C-PTSD.
Pete Walker's work has been the single most important info for recovery, a life changer, he deserves far more recognition
His second book changed my life. Byron Brown's "Soul Without Shame" was my tactical "go to" book. I cannot thank these souls enough.
My health issues started seriously presenting at 25. I'm still at that stage of realizing the physical effects of what the constant trauma did to me and it just makes me so angry. I deserve to live! I don't want my body to give up on me 20 years before my peers leave this earth! My ACE score is 9/10, so I'm likely to die in my 50s at the latest but darn it I'm not going down without a fight!!!
God bless you
When you resolve your trauma issues, your health issues resolve too.
Also, a sense of a fore-shortened future is a common symptom of trauma.
Not necessarily die early. I observed a lot of traumatized and sickly people hang on till their nineties.
@@TestTest-ft9xh Poor sods
I’m so sorry 😢
I’m going through this right now
For anyone who can't pay for therapy: One technique I've found that really helps me with managing flashbacks/traumatic memories is to not block out the memory. I've worked on letting in just a little piece of the memory at a time (not too much, so you don't panic), and just sitting and observing the memory as if it's a movie I'm watching. Usually I can only do that for a few seconds, currently. And then I'll think, "Hmm, that's intense. And that's part of my past. I can accept that it really happened, but also that I am now safe and not living through it."
And I've found that doing this and not completely blocking the memory, or alternately, getting fully engrossed in it and frightening myself, the memory becomes less powerful when it comes back again. I no longer have the intense panic response to certain memories. It's also crucial if you try this, to have gentle talks with your inner child after a memory pops up, to reassure your inner child that you are there for her/him and are ready to protect her/him from harm, and that it's ok to feel all the different feelings that will come up around the memory, and that it's normal to have very strong feelings (including negative ones, if you were punished for showing negative emotion) about the issue.
I hope this can help those of you who are barred from therapy due to capitalism/poverty and other crimes against humanity.
I hear ya. I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Thank you for writing this! ✨❤️
@@NopeNotTodaySatan You're most welcome!
@@judymanning2538 That's great! Best of luck to you!
Your last paragraph 🔥...good on you for advocating for the root cause to trauma: capitalism (also feudalism, colonialism, imperialism).
Cried the whole way through this. Not for me, but for someone I love more than anything, but who ultimately was unable to keep me in her life due to many of these C-PTSD symptoms and traits.
It took hundreds of hours of studying and researching the psychology literature before I was able to identify and understand *what* was actually going on with her, because she's extremely avoidant of anything requiring introspection or autobiographical recall.
However, the knowledge and understanding I now have, and specifically the insight I believe I've gained into my ex's actions & words, is a very heavy burden -- it reduces me to helpless sobbing every time I think about what she's gone through, how difficult her life has been, how far she has yet to go before she can begin to be whole. She's only vaguely aware that there might be something... different about her.
It's overwhelming. Empathy is a bitch sometimes. I hurt more for her than she hurts for herself.
This made me get teary. I have complex-PTSD and to hear someone empathize like that feels good. A lot of us with complex-PTSD are always told there is something wrong with us inherently. That it's our fault
I think you have great love within you which is something most need to find and keep...your genuine care shows...that's a great thing ty
One thing you will learn in life is that it’s best to focus on improving yourself
I’ve obsessed over helping someone else.....it rarely works
She is so fortunate to have a friend like you, and she can't even realize it due to her trauma. Keep loving her. There's always hope for healing. ❤️
@@nicolemurphy2629 That is kind of a narcissistic response. Helping each other is how we have community. Putting someone ahead of yourself...there is a term for that, and it is not always (but sometimes) "doormat". It is love. That said, improving yourself is a journey everyone should be on, but not alone.
This may have saved my life. Thank you
I too have almost "given up" ,hold on it's not our fault .
Same here. Thank God for bringing me here. My eyes where opened as I typed "emotional abuse" into TH-cam.
Listen also to Tim Fletcher, Patrick Doyle, Ashley Berges👍🏿
Me too. I just left the hospital for what I thought was a heart attack. I'm overwhelmed at the thought of adding anything else to the list of symptoms i struggle to gain victory over. I feel like If I were a computer I'm shutting down right now because there is too much information. Not because of this video but my triggers have come back into my life. I havent watched this entire video yet but I'm doing that now. I hope you all gain tremendous ground over this stuff for me its stability and feeling safe I constantly need to feel safe the problem is my safe is very diff from everyone elses.
This might be the most important video I have seen in my adult life. Thank you.
This is one of the most transparent discussions on the topic of CPTSD I have heard... great information
Heartfelt Gratitude for this information. I'm 70 and just now getting this information. This explains my life. Because I was so shame based, I could not admit to the dysfunction of my family and my life. I never would have described myself as immature and certainly never suspected that maybe my brain got rewired by trauma I didn't even realize occurred. Healing the WC and AAC with self love and nurturing has indeed been my path to recovery. This feels like enlightenment.
No professional or hospital ever mentioned CPTSD. Depression, anxiety, suicidal ideas and plans for 30 years even with plenty of pharmaceuticals did nothing. I had to keep striving to heal. Now, it all makes sense. Thank you for this life saving information.
It's because you can only get diagnosed with it in Europe under their medical stuff, it's not in the dsm 5 yet which is what we use in north america.
So glad I came across this video. I am 52 now and just recently begun to realize that I'm pretty certain I suffer from either PTSD or Complex PTSD. I was unaware of CPTSD until I came across this video, but looking at all the symptoms there are many that hit the mark. I am a very high functioning survivor, but surviving isn't and shouldn't be enough. It is difficult to recognize or accept something that you've never been able to name, especially when you have preconceived notions about what one must have to experience to suffer from PTSD. Then again, I grew up in an era where any kind of abuse, neglect or addiction was kept secret and hidden. Thank you for posting this information.
I hear ya. I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships.
After I read Pete Walker’s book I got attachment-based therapy as he advised. It’s necessary. I’m still seeing the therapist but I strongly recommend the following which I did later which really helps me: change diet - vegetarian, whole foods and organic where possible, no alcohol, no drugs, no coffee and caffeine, no refined sugar or processed foods. Also Transcendental Meditation. I tried other types like guided visualisation, but any effects were not long lasting. However I cannot recommend TM highly enough. I meditate 2 times a day. I do this for my health as it has given me more energy and purpose. These health lifestyle changes are making a positive impact that my therapy sessions are more fruitful. I really underestimated the power of meditation as different types didn’t work for me. TM is the only one that I feel is helping. I hope this helps others and just know that there is hope. But you’ve to take these steps to heal your mind, body and spirit as top priority no matter what, no matter how long it takes.
Deelot thanks for the tips I have some symptoms and this is one issue I face. I am learning more daily but I need a professional to help me put a plan in place for my healing. I am not happy that I have problems but things like the nuggets you left in your comment are Sparks in the darkness.
Diet is rarely addressed and is crucial. Vegan, eliminating animal products and by products helps a great deal. Thank you. My daughter has complex PTSD, and is currently hospitalized. My delima is we tried moving her out of state. She did well for about a month, then completely broke down. We don't know what to do now.
I would have to quit living. I eat bad..... take drugs... no motivation... ugh
YES I found meditation also and I am plant based mostly raw vegan feeling a passion to take care of the planet, animals, and myself also. The truth will set you free. When I hurt my body or ignore it’s needs a darkness falls. I’m left needing again. An emptiness can happen that is avoidable if I can remain present. Interesting the memories that consumed me faced cleanly square in the face can become a part of who you are but not define you in darkness and confusion anymore. Grounding in the present is very healing. To avoid negative thoughts sometimes I do repetition of the mundane. This is a chair. My feet are on the floor. Etc to stay present out of negative thoughts memories or fears. Healing and thriving is possible. Baby steps but it’s always going forward. 💜💜🙏🏻
Yes, the inner critic and toxic shame is real. Not as a child but now as a middle-aged adult.
Omg : as soon as I heard your words describing findings into hard core drug addicts. I punched the air with elation and said “Yes yes YES!!” You hit the proverbial nail on the head and echoed my own epiphany that I had recently about my own “mother” and how she treated me : that not only did she fail to provide the basics in love and nurturing, she provided abuse on top of that. I worked this out by myself, through my own self awareness, through my own research and my back ground as a psychiatric nurse and my current studies in my Master of Counselling. It’s no accident that I ended up in the mental health field, I fully embrace it. I hope through healing myself, learning as much as I can, I may be able to open a practice of my own to give people the knowledge, power and faith to heal themselves, and indeed lead a better quality of life. Because no good, decent, caring, compassionate person, who has been through such trauma/abuse deserves to bear the pain and suffering that was selfishly inflicted on them by a lessor human.
THANK YOU for the validation and the inspiration for not only my own healing journey, but to keep going in my dream to ultimately provide people the tools to heal themselves.
I hit emotional rock bottom four years ago. It was the first time in my life I started to connect how I was mistreated as a child and what gets me in constant emotional turmoil as an adult. With the help of Buddhism, I started looking inward to find answers to life. It's been a hard journey. But I'm feeling much better now - no longer living constantly with a sense of trauma.
I have never heard this explained as well. Almost 100% of what you said is exactly what I experience and struggle with. I’m literally crying that I’m not alone (sadly), but I’m not crazy and my symptoms are explainable and are not my fault (I’ve tried so hard to get better and be a functioning member of society and have good relationships, but I struggle so much.)
This video will be so helpful to share with my husband and his family to maybe help them understand what I’m going through- life can feel so lonely feeling so misunderstood even by friends and my husband and in-laws. I’ve tried so hard to get them to understand I don’t want to be sick- that I’m not just imagining my troubles and I’m not lazy, crazy, or “wrong”- I’ve just been doing my best to survive.
adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Stay strong. You are not alone. A lot of love and support for you❤️
Life is not a gift when you're not allowed to care for yourself. Shamed for being "needy" or called selfish for having boundaries/self-care (talk about a double-blind.)
Great point, so hard, so unfair. We who were abused get rejected by society
It's hard to shake off the victim mindset it seems to be drilled into the bones in varying degrees with what has been endured individually. They may seem to be the same situation only unique to each individual and their circumstances in my hop
And when you say this to people they be like "you're such a victim". Are you fucking kidding me!
For sure. Add being a sober alcoholic/ addict and you have a triple whammy with few that understand or even can support you. I live in the present,yet am still healing. I have a therapist that I asked once again,his do I manage the triggers? I am only asked another question, when my question goes still unanswered???? I'm on Medicaid so his to get a specialist in this area?
@@justiceforall713
My ex is the perfect victim a part she'splayed so we'll.
Played sick too long for her to instantly well. Hasn't been to the doctor but a few times since she left. Instant cure for her.
Some traumas are so severe that “thriving” isn’t an option. In such cases, survival is our only choice, and our brains protect us accordingly. It certainly isn’t healthy, but some things are best left buried.
I don’t think I’ll ever be thriving.
@@vinnievee5710 I understand. Please try not to lost hope. If I can help, let me know. You’re not alone. ♥️
I know what you mean but I am trying to overcome....and I will.
I dont think thats true if you are alive and not brain dead you can thrive.
I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
This is the best single video on CPTSD I've ever watched. I've watched hundreds. This integrates all of the leading theories on the cause, symptoms, and effective treatment of PTSD. One can take a deeper dive by referencing the books noted in the presentation or researching those concepts and authors on TH-cam. This is absolutely an amazing watch. Thank you SPP.
Whoever you are and where ever you are in the journey of healing, please know that although the path to recovery is hard and it may feel isolating, it will not feel like this forever.
You are growing in knowledge and creating new muscles in resiliency, both your brain and emotional muscles are put to work right now, the byproduct of exercise, pain will clear. I don't know you but I stand by how far you have come and you will be stronger. I look forward to it.
Thank you for this comment. ❤
Okay . I just discovered thar I have C PTSD after years of suffering from anxiety, depression , social phobia , low self-esteem and dissociation . I really want to start living and thrive .I fell like I've been dead for so long just suffering . I'll come back after a year and see how far I made it through my journey . Wish me luck
Looking forward to your comment, I'll be on my journey also 😤🌌
Such an informative video. Thank you very much for your work. Our world desperately needs this information.
I know I have made so much progress since I watched my first Bradshaw video 4 years ago, but I wonder if I'll ever be a fully functional, healthy adult. Watching videos like this is very validating, yet at the same time, almost disheartening. I wonder if I'll ever overcome myself. My biggest issue lately is the self-discipline to "make" myself do the work (& anything else for that matter). If I could isolate and hide under my bed for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly fine.
Much love and many blessings to everyone else on this path. It took me 3 years to be able to say the words "I matter" without an overwhelming sense of guilt, fear, and shame. But I can do it now. Whenever I feel like I'm not moving fast enough, I remind myself of that victory. I pray that you have similar victories and milestones. Please be proud of yourself for even attempting to heal. So many hide behind their false ego masks and ignore their pain and dysfunction. The fact that you're even willing to try, says volumes about you.
Much love! You matter!
@William Burr I have a daily practice and I agree that neural pathways can be rewritten. I think much of my progress is due to developing awareness as well as a willingness to surrender. Thank you so very much for the recommendation and the encouragement. Your message was timely. Have a blessed day
I am 25 and for 8 years I am trying to heal my mental state. I have tried everything, but nothing worked long term, it just seemed that there is no hope for me and that my case was unique. I knew my problems were something to do with trauma, even though I thought my upbringing wasn't that bad, but I decided to check out the cptsd from surviving to thriving book. And oh my god I was relating to every page, I never seen my case laid out so perfectly. Especially the part when he was talking that sometimes people with cptsd can feel total voidness and death feeling and that means that when they were babies they were left "to cry it out" and punished for behaving like a baby with no love. That brought me one nasty flashback from which I still cant get out. Considering I was living in a flashback for all my life pretty much, I was able to leave the flashback couple times in the last week. Flashbacks came back in around 6 hours, but it was nice feeling normal and with emotions for once.
Wow, this is so complete! The visuals and recommendations are very helpful, and I like the "we're all in this together" tone-- quite comforting while instructive as well. Thank you!
Poor people have to recover from this by themselves. Most important is to stay away from hospitals so the staff can't re-traumatize you.
Exactly!
Thank God it's not the 50s!
It’s very true as I’ve experienced that, there’s some lovely health workers but also some psychopaths
I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
yep. I wont go near Dr's etc ...and have lived alone and isolated for 20 plus years. Gave up alcohol 30 years ago....it has been the only thing that helped me intergrate with society,but made me ill so had to stop...otherwise Id still be guzzleing to feel ok.
you good people do a great service in an interesting and competent manner!
Thank you ALL!
Single most powerful youtube video ive ever watched.
This just turned on a lightbulb in my brain. "Enmeshment is the same thing as abandonment." ....This explains the heavy hopeless heartbreak and sadness that I will feel for weeks at a time with no explanation... I couldnt figure it out. Why do I feel like I have a secret that I killed someone or that I have lost a loved one to a violent death? I have explored therapy and all sorts of self help books regarding commitment phobia and anxiety for 3 years. Now the trail has led me to CPTSD and I think it holds answers I need. I truly thought I was 100% unique and that nobody else could ever know these feelings. Wow....
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships.
"May Your Health Be With You"
Thank you for all this essential information. We need to know and feel that we are not bad or defective. We need to feel self-compassion and hope. We need to listen to the child within who is scared and hurting. We need to give him or her love and care. We need to acknowledge the shame that we have been carrying, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable with those who have our best interests at heart. We need to listen to our bodies and our minds and respect them. We need to reparent ourselves in the nurturing way which we didn't experience when we needed it most. I would truly appreciate your input and any resources for parents like me going through Parental Alienation. I know that this is connected to complex trauma and I wish to heal myself from this retraumatization while helping my son to heal from the abuse that is being perpetrated towards him every day. 💚
I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Thank you for this seminar
That was one of the most powerful and well done talks I've heard in my life. I love your heart for healing and helping people find recovery. Thank you 🙏🏽
This is what I do to cope I picture my young self out in the dark under the rain crying and reach out and hug him and keep telling myself your no longer there your ok your safe. Mindfulness saved my life n helped me understand my triggers and learned how to ground myself thru hugging my young vulnerable sacred little self and see how resilient I became.
Thank you for this, I repeated the video for more than 10 times and took notes. I cant believe I have not known this about myself until now! I hope that the society at large will soon put more emphasis on our mental health than of physical health, especially on children's.
I hear ya. I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Absolutely profound. For those who are just beginning the video, please have patience! The video is 100% worth the watch, he actually provides methods, evidence, and activities that we can use to develop the brain/progress further. Awesome. Thanks!
adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
I’m so grateful for the research of each one who brought this information to be brought forth. Just knowing there is hope has changed my whole perception of life. Being 37 ad still struggling is really hard to explain to loved ones when you don’t know EXACTLY how to explain what’s going on. This webinar has explained so much of why I am the way I am, and is helping me find ways of recovery. Thank you!!
adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Mystory. I am 73, now. Been a searcher all my life. I did a 30 day course to improve my breathing. Then I spent time with the physiotherapist who created the course. This took away my death wish. Got a lot more insight. It is not a magic bullet "cure". I have to work with new insights and new perspectives. I do slide backwards sometimes. I think that checking breathing function could be a component of diagnosis. That is my personal message. Thanks.
I can’t thank whoever enough for posting this video and I wish you all love and peace that are working on this in their life🤍✨🦋✌🏼
Survival skills instead of thriving skills. Wow if only I would have known. I do now thanks to this video at 51. I'm not dead yet although sometimes I feel I am I am not and I want to live and thrive. Thank you for this informational video.
adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships.
"May Your Health Be With You"
Thank you for sharing this research, in the next phase I hope to be at peace.
Thank you Steevn. Very comprehensive and love all the references to the addiction specialists like Pia, Bradshaw, Pete Walker. Well done.
I am 58. It’s a miracle I’ve made it this far. My parents are still alive and have abused me my entire life up to just a few years ago when I went no contact
Good for you. Setting that no contact boundary is the first step to healing. I was the last child; my siblings were more than happy to have me care for our ancient mother, who died at 107. Take good care of yourself. A new commenter mentioned Meditation; I concur...I find it essential.
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships.
"May Your Health Be With You"
I have been doing a lot of work to get through my CPTSD from multiple sources, this video is so informative of missing aspects. That there are different responses based on types. Where you get stuck, how we respond. I know I'm a mess right now but I feel more equipped to tackle that now. I used to be high functioning but I went through a catastrophic break of the body and mind, and it's near impossible for those around me to understand because I cant explain it.
Listening to these make me cry uncontrollably and my body feels cold and stiff.
I've lost my colon because of C-PTSD. This is the most comprehensive video I've watched since being diagnosed.
So brilliantly, comprehensively, empathically and compassionately presented! Thank you :)
Thank you sooo much. I was burnt as a 4 year old child. I had extensive skin grafts to my legs and therefore had to be isolated for a long period. My dad was violent and my mother was overtly religious. I have plenty issues as you can imagine. So I really needed to hear this.
Mate, this was an unbelievable 1 hr 17 minutes. Thank you so much for your insights, care and effort in putting this today.
Newly diagnosed with CPTSD at 40. That hits hard. And I am grieving. But I understand why now.
Thank you brother x
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships.
Thank you for giving a shout to Pete Walker ❤!!
I keep that book near me, as much as possible.
Cheers-
I'm over coming the horrible life of the after effects of the past abuse and living in extreme fear. now I have to confront the man who has a "feel right" to scream at me when he feel like it. tonight Im going to stand up to this big man and let him know its inexcusable behavior. Im 6o+and I want it to stop. I dont have to let this to continue. Thanks for all the helpful information.
Mariana Whitaker I am proud of you and I hope you are safe.
you are amazing
In order to get your point across to this "big man" you need to use a megaphone set on high volume, but speak clearly so the "big man" can get a whiff of what it feels like to be talked to really loud. On the other hand, if this "big man" is so stupid to recognize the message even after you explain it to him via the mega phone, give it up and take up teaching pigs how to sing. You will then have better luck.
Mariana Whitaker I see your reply was a year ago but I just had to respond to what you said. After 20 years of marriage, I finally reached my limit and refused to answer the phone after being verbally abused one too many times. My narcissistic soon to be ex husbands reaction was to discard me. That was 2 years ago and he has had a new supply/relationship for over a year now.
I’m disabled and he is refusing to pay alimony and blowing every penny he makes on anything and everything. Meanwhile, I am losing my home and likely my 3 fur babies as well.
Once a narcissist realizes he can no longer feed off of you because you create boundaries where there were none previously, it usually results in a very unfavorable outcome. Quite often, it can put your life at risk because when they realize they no longer have control over you and start raging, their behavior can be deadly.
I hope you are in a much better place physically, emotionally and mentally from where you were a year ago. And truthfully, I hope you were able to extricate yourself from that relationship because narcissists NEVER change. Anyone who abuses another person will continue to do so as long as they have the opportunity. Everything I say has been learned from personal experience over 20+ years of my life. Narcissistic abuse will only end when either you remove yourself from the relationship and run as far away as fast as you can (which I wish I’d done) or they discard you. In the case of the latter, they will drop you when they have sucked the life and resources out of you. Rebuilding your life becomes much more difficult and the older you are, the more challenging starting over with nothing is.
We find that we have been at war with this person and the destruction they leave behind requires years if not decades to heal from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Recovering our self esteem, our sanity, our shattered dreams and rebuilding our financial health and even many times just finding a roof over our heads is a monumental task. They take away everything and if you don’t have a strong support network, the chances of fully recovering to the point where you can function during your day to day life decreases substantially.
There is very little real help out there if you find yourself destitute as I am. I wake up in terror every morning thinking about how I am going to survive. Due to spinal degeneration and what I now realize are the effects from a lifetime of abuse, I am no longer able to work and support myself and have been on disability for several years. The meager disability income puts me way below the poverty line established by the US government.
I just want everyone to know, you cannot have a successful marriage or relationship with a narcissist. There will never be a way to get them to see what they are doing to you because they just don’t care. The only thing they care about is whether their needs are being met and their needs involve making someone else’s life a living hell among other things. They feed off of people who are kind, caring, compassionate empaths. They are emotional vampires and will drain every drop of your life force if given the opportunity.
There is a lot of talk about what makes a narcissist a narcissist. I feel trying to be identify whether or not you are dating a narcissist or married to one wastes crucial time and leads to self doubt. You only need ask yourself one question. Does the person I’m with treat me badly and how do they make me feel? If your significant other has EVER snapped at you for anything, you need to run. People who love you will not make you feel bad. Everyone has the basic human right to feel respected. If you do not, you are being abused whether it be in an intimate relationship or by a supervisor or co-workers or friends.
ONE, DONE, RUN is my mantra. Disrespect or abuse me once and I am done and will run to safety. That is how I am making sure I’ll never fall under the spell of a narcissist ever again. I hope relaying my experience and what I have learned prevents others from becoming targets. If someone yells at you and/or criticizes you, that is not love. It’s abuse and running away immediately is the only way to protect yourself from a life of excruciating pain.
Kindness and joy to all.
Thank you so much for putting this presentation together and sharing, Steven. There's obviously a huge amount of passion and compassion running through it and I really appreciate it x
Seriously. I am so happy I found this video of you. I can relate to everything you said. I also have C-PTSD. And just started therapy. And I think it’s super brave you mad this video. You explained it so damn well. It’s easy to understand. Idk I am just really happy about this. Thank you so much. ❤️ we need people to be informed. And inspire others how are in the same situation. You can make it. Idk that all. Thank you again. Super cool.
Happy Thanksgiving. I ended up here again in 2022. Still working on my story, healing. The greatest thing I've come to know is myself- having a gentle approach to my feelings, reactions, experiences is key. Forgiveness and acceptance- 12 step are useful, free and loyal. In my aloneness, I am enjoying writing...everything: feelings, all my life experience, good, bad and the ugly. Blessings to all.
Spending time with nature really helps
I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
This is the best presentation on CPTSD I have seen to date. Wow, so much resonated with me.
Yes I can only get along with my dogs and I have a small circle ⭕️ of people I trust.
I hope you are doing ok. Hope your friends are there for you. Dogs are great for us. I wish I could have one.
I love my cats. People, not so much.
I'm a introvert love my cat all animals but people not really only have 2 friends but they're real i trust them I don't have trust for know one
I don't have a circle. Trying to find one but just broke up with my therapist today, hence why I came to search stuff on yt. 🤷🏿♂️
This talk is giving me the feeling of being overwhelmed. But I’m going to take some deep breaths and try to relax down a bit
This was a lot of really good information. I'll be watching it again for sure.
Thanks, this a comprehansive overview of CPTSD. This paints a grim picture of my life and a big part of my inner world but also offers hope for better days to come.
"We can loose time and space." I am in this state for years. Started to realise by coincidence. I am basically dead while I am alive.
Maurice, how are you doing? half my life l was on emotional and mental lockdown. "Tunnel Vision" now l've had 35 years out of that tunnel. I now see there was someone watching over me. I stopped breathing as a infant. Turned blue, almost drowned at nine. Big drop off and l didn't know how to swim. Been beaten as l was sleeping, had to put not normal words to describe what my body went through. Had guns pointed at me twice. Tried to commit suicide at least 5 times as a young adult. Had a counselor tell me, "You need God" well l found Him! Through His Son, Jesus Christ, and He Loves you very much! John 3:16 and John chap. 17, KJV
Felt this, been dead alive for 10 years.
I feel the same way and it’s horrible. I feel like my life has been ruined.
@@Gemmarose9012 Today is the first day of your life. Don't let your life be for nothing. If you knew what you had to do even to be born. And if any of the other sperm (Thousands ) had made it to your mother's egg, you wouldn't have come into existence. Just think about it! God doesn't make a mistake.
John 3:16, You are the world that God so loved!
So weary of pretending to be happy and normal.I can't trust anyone and memory is a knife that cuts when it's brought forward.
It’s incredible how excruciating it is to listen to all of this. Just the dread it brings up every single step of the way. The terrible irony of the need to run from exactly what you must do to not run away anymore.
going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Wow right at the core. The road was long enough, let us begin now to slowly but surely dig our own path and start the real work fellas. All love.
Such a comprehensive overview on this topic. It might seem a bit overwhelming for some but small steps in the right direction over time will create powerful changes.
Mind blown 🙏🏽 excellent. As a recovering addict recently in therapy for CPTSD this video beautifully sums up the complex solution to primary & secondary symptoms of CPTSD/Addiction. Thank you!
This is a wonderful explanation. I had 3 car crashes in 2008, developed ptsd, retraumatised by suppressed sexual abuse and emotional neglect , then 2016 diagnosed with aggressive brain tumour, had brain surgery in 2017 and am still recovering!. For years after surgery I couldn't understand why I did not do something about all the symptoms I was experiencing from the brain tumour. Total disassociation!, now I understand why. I was hoping with cptsd for years , I couldn't even realise why I was on /off anti depressants for so long! Since having surgery is the first time thast I've really been able to take the time and acknowledge it.
Thank you so much for this information. I hope good thing happens to you today and keep doing the great work you’re doing
Surviving but not thriving. That describes me. I've survived all these years, but relative to others I have never truly thrived, especially socially.
Awesome webinar Mr. Stokes, THANK YOU !
Thank you for this, SO much is falling into place now. Some stuff fell into place 10 years ago when I was diagnosed with BPD, but mostly as I learned that many with the disorder were sexually abused and traumatized in childhood. That triggered healing and more attention to DBT, which certainly helped but much of the healing came naturally. My therapist said I mostly did it on my own... Not everything was healed but now that I'm learning more about CPTSD, so much more makes sense and even more is falling into place. Thank you so much.
It's just amazing how much more compassion people have and how much easier it is to treat yourself with it once you realize it's probably CPTSD more than BPD. Finally I can stop judging myself and being judged so harshly.
South Pacific Private: for me, this presentation is MORE than VERY IMPORTANT!
I have complex PTSD. I’m really struggling right now through the covid pandemic, the rioting and the wildfires and bad air quality in the Pacific Northwest. I keep having panic attacks and I feel so alone. Feel like I’m going around in circles instead of moving forward
I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships.
"May Your Health Be With You"
This was brilliant to listen to, so much information on how to deal with issues rather than jus explaining what issues look like
I'm 53 and I've been unknowingly struggling all my life with severe cptsd. All I remember from my first 18 years is huge amounts of physical, verbal and emotional cruelty from my mother, while my father, also abused and ranging from complete denial to semi aware enabling simp. I managed to go away and numb down that hell with all kinds of misbehaviors. My last 20 years of therapy lost on misleading confusion. Just recently starting to realize on my own what has been going on, while trying not to kill myself in the meantime. Despite digging answers for the very first time, I’m also noticing the issue is way tougher and more complicated that I thought. Now I know all my life, all I did, has been a huge dissociation. Completely wasted time. It looks like, in order to have a real life, I’ll have to go now, ill equipped and climb a mountain. Isolated, unemployed, semi homeless, in debt and in a country with very limited options to rely on. I know life’s not fair, but this is ridiculous.
I am going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Frankl’s lesson is perhaps the single most important lesson of life - a concept described in all of the world’s great religions. Frankl explained, in such simple language, the importance of finding and cultivating meaning and purpose in our lives - and how doing so can provide each of us with the strength to survive - regardless of the severity of our trials and hardships.
"May Your Health Be With You"
I am so thankful to have found you. Amazing service you provide in a kind way. Much needed
Thank you for this comprehensive video. As a trauma specialist it makes me happy to see information shared so that stigma, isolation and self-abuse can be lessened. Well done!
Through CoDa I learnt about SPP from people who attended this program model in Sydney. Today I had the courage to pick up the phone to ring the South Pacific Private for more information after viewing the website & listening to this video by Steve Stokes......this has given me much hope for healing in the near future so that life can be worth living. My sincere thanks for all the time that Zoe, Claire & Elle spent with me on the telephone. Looking forward to arrangeing a time to spend at SPP.
Thankyou for such a comprenhensive overview of Complex PTSD and for making this information available online. As a person with Complex PTSD surviving over 30 years with the condition while caregiving for two family members with scitzoprhenia and with scitzoaffective disorder and as public advocate for mental health. I thankyou and will share this information with many many people. Peoples don't realize just how debilitating PTSD is to sufferer they compare with other severe mental health illness' as if it's simple "get over it" stigma. This really helps to explain just how complex PTSD is and highlights that its every bit as serious, life altering and debilitating as illness' such as scitzophrenia, scitzoaffective, bipolar ect.
If you have a Canadian hospitals you collaborate with I would love to know this information.
So pleased you found it so helpful. Thank you for your lovely comments.
I am afraid I don't have any information on Canadian hospitals - I wish you all the best.
This is probably, likely for sure, most informative bit of info regarding what I've been through that I've ever listened to, read or been instructed about. I've been at this for getting near ten years and seemed to be going backwards at times, you have helped me to further unravel the twisted plot that I was so unconscious of and am now digesting and accepting, hard as it is.
going to go back to adult children of alcoholics (free 12 step program) I hope to reparent myself 🤗
Thank you so much with this great video. I was diagnosed with PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and bipolar, but in the recent months the PTSD has been changed to C-PTSD, at least by a therapist. I guess C-PTSD isn't in the DSM. I've heard that women are often misdiagnosed with bipolar when in actuality it's C-PTSD. What is your take on that? Thank you for talking about the sort of Stockholm syndrome that we get. Can you talk about learned helpless? It explains a lot. btw, your Australian accent and is very calming to me.
Anna I've heard of this misdiagnosis as well. My psychiatrist had one session with me and told me after listening to me, that I do not suffer from bi-polar disorder, but emotional abuse.
I was diagnosed bipolar as well as ADHD after losing both of my parents and then being emotionally abused by my caretaker as a child. Really blows my mind that you can sit in a room with a person and they can tell you after 30 minutes that you're bipolar and pump you full of (since recalled, in my case) drugs when you're 16 years old.
completely agree. Richard Grannon also validates this
@Dr DjDebUsa International I agree, noticed the same!! Red Flags....
@@asuune bipolar disorder's medicine is very harmful for cptsd , I was on lithium and buspirone, high doses, I deteriorated very quickly. I screamed and cried out with specific pleas for help. I was unheard. 44 years of abuse from my caretakers and myself. I'm wore out. There's no treatment list for everyone but there are people who have been through everything collectively. Still petrified with going to get help from the same people that pill milled me. Ritalin to latuda..no more drugs please. I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with these feelings that are rapidly pounding my head in.
Thank you very much for uploading.
A very good contribution with very helpful tips. It takes some years!