Colleen, I really hope you see this. When I started talking an antidepressant I felt EXACTLY the same way. It felt like admitting defeat, admitting that I wasn't good enough, admitting that I wasn't strong enough. I vividly remember picking up the prescription and staring at the pill and wondering why it was so hard for me to take it. But just like you I grew up in those Conservative Christian circles and surrounded by that mentality of pushing through. And that totally messed with my mind as I tried to cope with the reality that I am a person who needs to be on antidepressants. You are not alone. You are so not alone. And I know that you know this, but I also know that somewhere deep in your soul this needs to be heard. You are enough. You are strong. You are doing the right thing. Needing this has no reflection on your worth, your strength, your value, your character. Keep taking care of yourself, mama. Keep loving yourself, mama. And know that I am proud of you. We all are. 💜
Same I lied and said it was anxiety medication from people for over a year and I was lying to myself I was more comfortable being diagnosed with anxiety than depression because my whole like depression has only seemed to be the most extreme thing and like to admit that’s where your at is terrifying
Colleen The best advice I ever received was “think of taking your medication like putting on glasses”. Meaning that just like everyone will have a unique prescription for their eyeglasses, everyone will have I have a unique prescription for their brain. It would be silly for someone who needs eyeglasses to not wear them and not be able to focus (let alone a headache from trying to work harder than they need). If there is a tool that exists to help me see more clearly I would be silly not to use it. And if my needs ever change I can change my “eyeglass” prescription. Idk if this helps or makes sense but I really appreciated it. :)
Wow I absolutely love this.. being someone who has wore glasses her whole life and has been on multiple medications for 14 yrs I never saw the correlation. Without my meds I cant think clearly and my brain is foggy just like without glasses I can't see clearly and my visions blurred. It will change your responses and the decisions you make in either scenario to every day situations
It took me years to come to terms with the fact that I had depression and going to the doctor to have it properly diagnosed was terrifying for me, but it was the biggest step in the right direction. I was so scared to take medication but it has tremendously helped me. I truly hope it is doing the same for you. It doesn’t mean you aren’t strong, it means you are even STRONGER because you can admit that you need help! Keep going, mama. You got this🧡
People with diabetes often think, “I’m doing well enough, maybe I don’t need my medication.” It’s the same with depression. Both are medical conditions that require medication. I know it’s difficult, but thank you for helping to normalize needing that assistance. Mental health is HEALTH! And sometimes, we need to see a doctor to keep us healthy! You’re a role model in so many ways! You’re doing great!
I can totally relate, Colleen. It took me literal years to seek treatment for depression. Having a doctor finally explain that taking medication for depression is no different than taking medication for diabetes or a heart condition, was what finally made me understand and stop blaming myself for “being sad.” The stigma that surrounds depression is slowly lifting. It takes people like you and me learning about this condition, and understanding that we aren’t doing something wrong, and that depression is not weakness.
Colleen, I totally get where you were coming from with it being hard to start taking anti-depressants. When I started, I was afraid that the medication would make me a different person or make me less like *me*. The opposite happened - it made me feel like myself again! If you were vitamin deficient you would take your vitamins and not think anything of it. It's the same for neurotransmitters in your brain - the fact that we treat these cases differently just shows how much stigma there is about mental health.
Very true.. I thought I would be a shell of myself after taking medication but its the opossite it actually calmed me made me more comfortable to be myself around others
Tortilla talk: I'm also a mom that struggled with postpartum depression, this is my 4th baby and I'd never had this struggle before but WOW. The day we came home from the hospital, that night I sobbed in bed to my husband, felt like I was the worst mom, that I was already failing all 4 of my girls and they deserved better, daily depression and crying continued for 2 weeks and I just knew I wasn't myself and I couldn't live like that anymore so I called my Dr and got in and she was amazingly kind and sat through me crying and just listened and then she prescribed me some depression meds, she started me on the lowest dose, I've since gone up a tiny bit but once we got the right dose it was a WORLD of difference, the world was bright again, I was ME again. It's hard to admit to ourselves the we need help because we're moms and we're "supposed to have it all together" but reality is messy, growing babies and taking care of them is HARD, there's no manual. every baby, pregnancy and mothering type is different and the world needs to accept that it's OKAY. You're doing amazing mama, your babies are lucky to have you!
The world is getting extremely scary and a new Colleen vlog is just what I needed ❤️ i love you Colleen. I hope everybody had a good day today despite everything!
As someone with ADHD who’s on an SSRI, I completely, COMPLETELY relate. Taking medication was so scary to me at first because it felt like I was failing. Here’s what made me feel better: realizing that my mood and my emotional reactions to things are not always within my control. I feel like we sell ourselves this false narrative that any emotional experience we have is the direct result of our own actions or ability to practice ~self care~ when, in reality, sometimes, in some situations our brains will not be able to chemically function without help. And that is okay.
Same! This has also really helped, because there have been people who respond with, "well what if you become chemically dependent on a prescription substance." And I've realized like...yeah? That's the point? Everyone is dependent on these chemicals. Everyone needs these same brain chemicals to function. People who don't take SSRIs need serotonin just as much as I do. It's just that some people's brains make/utilize them on their own, and my body doesn't, so I have to take them in pill form. Similar to the analogy with needing glasses to see, or a diabetic needing insulin.
I’m so happy you’ve talked about taking antidepressants, this was a hard pill for me to swallow too but for me I had to realize this is what I needed for me. I think about how much better I’ve felt after taking them for a while. I get the feeling of not “needing it” you are not alone with this feeling. I’m so proud of you I know this isn’t easy, you’re so strong & brave to revel layers of yourself & being so venerable. Sending love your way
I had the same feelings when I had to go on anxiety meds full-time. I'd "dealt" with it my whole life but three years ago, it took a turn and I decided to commit to it. Best decision for me, and it truly saved me. Glad to know I'm not the only one with that struggle of acceptance with my mental health diagnosis... Also -I know your hair is bugging you lately....but it looks bomb in this video 🥰
As someone who has been on anti-anxiety medication for about 7 years, I totally understand how you feel. I struggled to come to terms with the fact that i needed a pill to make me feel normal, but over time i have realised that if this medication allows me to live my life without debilitating anxiety interfering with my daily activities then it is worth it! Sending love and appreciate you sharing your mental health journey with us ❤️
When you were talking about how you felt when starting antidepressants, I totally related. I struggled with an eating disorder for 6 years, and the first time I went to treatment I remember just sobbing filling out the paperwork and feeling like there was something wrong with me or I was a failure and just having trouble facing that I was struggling with that...but it was one of the best decisions I ever made - hang in there!
I had intense postpartum anxiety and getting on medication literally saved my sanity and my life. I’m proud of you for doing things that make you uncomfortable. You’re a great mom and your babies will thank you for the beautiful childhood you’re giving them. Just think of what you’d miss out on if you were stuck on the couch or in bed with crippling anxiety. You got this, mama.
Could not relate more to “pray away mental health.” As someone who grew up in a very hostile church situation, I 100000% get this. I am now on anxiety and depression medication because during this season of my life, I need it. It was an incredibly hard decision to admit to people that I made, but was not hard for me personally to make. I am now out of that church and in one that fully supports mental health and actually advocates for it.
I love this. There are legitimate needs for medicine when neural pathways are not properly functioning. I am a part of a wonderful church family that understands that there’s nothing wrong with medicating to help promote brain health! And I am also a firm believer that our minds can be helped greatly by reading and meditating on the word of God, both things can work together!
I was looking for a comment like this. As a Christian I know sometimes mental health can be treated a little like that (like ignored or that you need to pray about it) but I actually read this morning that there really is a distinction between mental health and spiritual health. So sometimes there might literally be something chemically wrong in your mind or whatever that requires medication to fix, and other times it is a matter of perspective and surrender to God. I am new to this too so just learning so hope I haven't said anything wrong here.
@@amazingamity1770 I think that if more people were open minded and teachable like you just explained, it would be a much more supported topic in the church. Good on you for realizing the distinction between types of health, they are all very important, and I think you’re right that mental & spiritual for some reason get lumped together. So many awful things came from COVID, but one of the good things was a massive mental health movement, mental health IS a part of health care. Thank you for sharing!
@@amazingamity1770 I totally agree, there is a distinction between the two. I sometimes feel guilt for needing medication as a Christian, but I found that by taking care of myself however I need I am able to grow stronger with God. Whereas before my depression would get so bad I would almost stray away entirely.
In the beginning of the quarantine I ran to your vlogs for…comfort? Protection? And I forgot that’s what I was here for from the start. Lately I’ve noticed I’ve gone back into that shell of fear, anxiety, depression and I’ve subconsciously come back here because you make me feel safe. You always have. It’s more than just me watching someone who makes content. I feel less alone physically, mentally, and emotionally when I’m watching you. Thank you so much. There aren’t words to thank you for what you do.
I also get so much comfort from colleens videos. I don’t even know why since she has anxiety in like every video lmao. She motivated me to be able to get through all my anxiety and depression
Me as well. It reminds me of safety, comfort, a place where I could relate. I look forward to it every time I see her notification! She got me through quarantine and is helping me now ❤️ I also struggle with some mental health issues like anxiety, so I totally relate. Hope your mental health gets better!
Tortilla talk question: It seems that Erik is getting more and more comfortable with the camera. Is it me or is it true? I feel like I’ve seen him more and more as the vlogs go on. Love you you’re strong and amazing! Mention me😘❤️
While I don’t have postpartum depression or anxiety, I have struggled with near constant severe anxiety and depression for the last few years and I put off medication for the longest time, but last year I started on it and it was genuinely life changing. I found I started to just enjoy the little things. What you’re saying about not wanting to admit to needing it is so accurate and I felt that, but like you say, there’s no shame in it at all. You do what you can to get by. You’re so strong, you’ve got this xx
Hey Colleen! I’m a psychiatric nurse here in Canada. I want you to know that your mixed emotions taking medication are so so normal. Sometimes it’s hard to admit we have a problem and just the stigma of having a mental illness can make you want to get off the meds as soon as possible. Just remember that’s it’s ok to not be ok. Every good day you have is one step closer to eventual recovery but it’s a day by day process. Keep in mind too that just because you have been diagnosed with a mental illness doesn’t mean it’s a lifelong diagnosis. I was diagnosed years ago with PTSD, and depression. I’ve battled depression off and on for years but can proudly say I no longer have PTSD. You will get through this and you are so strong. Thank you so much for bringing awareness to another aspect of mental illness and being so open about your emotions. You being you and expressing your thoughts help others who feel the same. Love your vlogs and your beautiful family. Nicole
Never feel like there's a defect in you by taking medicine. I understand how you feel I have been on antidepressants for 20 years. I also hated the fact that I had to take them. Now I realized they saved my life. After my third baby was born I had severe depression but back then you just suffered though it. I'm grateful to be happy and thriving today. There were very dark times and I felt so quilty because I thought I was a weak person for having a mental illness. Over time I realize what a badness I am for getting to this point in my life. Never feel "less than" because you take them. You need them right now....for you and for your family. Love and light to you and your beautiful family.
Ive had depression my whole life, and it took me 21 years to commit to antidepressants because I felt weak having to take them. You’re not alone in the feeling that you shouldn’t need them, but I’m so glad that you are getting the help you are recognizing you need. You’re so strong and are doing amazing!! Thank you for shining a light on something taboo yet so common💜
Tortilla Talk: I am so interested in what Cory and Eric’s relationship is like. With how important he is in your lives, I’m curious if they have a relationship outside of you? I’m about to graduate college this year and I’ve been watching you since middle school! Time flies! Love you and best wishes to you family💜
i think we’re all still sorta expected to just “be okay” and generally have everything together so any time we face something that means we’re not necessarily okay it makes us feel like we’re not meeting expectations. i struggle with letting that get to me too even though it shouldn’t matter what other people’s expectations are, it’s just hard to not feel that expectation to have it together.
this exactly. i feel this with all of the various illnesses (physical and mental) as well as like stress management. it’s hard to get out of the idea that, in this hustle and grind culture, you can will it away or work harder to ignore it. even behavioral changes and sitting with things can bring on so much unwanted shame and feelings of failing. *however* when we make changes, when we face ourselves and our problems, when we can look objectively at ourselves as we would another human, we grow. it’s such a cliché but growth, health, verdant living often starts with acknowledgment, which can be the scariest part of it all. love to you and anyone else like us, as well as colleen. :) 🖤🖤
I've been taking an anti-depressant for years and when my brother more recently passed away unexpectedly I had to take a higher dosage. I can relate to how you're feeling Colleen, as I felt almost ashamed and weak that I not only needed this medication to begin with, but had to up my dosage greatly. I hated taking it for awhile but have come to terms with it as it makes me feel better, and there is no shame in that. Sometimes we just need a little extra help, whether it be from prescribed medication(s), therapy, or both. Love you Colleen and whoever is reading this
Colleen, always know that we are going to support and love you no matter what, you are a wonderful mama and you will do what’s right for you and your kids ❤️
Tortilla talk: totally related to everything you said about depression and needing but not wanting medication. I had a very different upbringing but feel the exact same way and I know several friends who voice similar things. You’re not alone ❤️
Oh my gosh I know the feeling. The number of times I've been told "depression is a choice" is staggering. The number of people that genuinely believe(d) that someone would choose to be miserable instead of happy, oof. It also doesn't help when you are used to being scapegoated and always resort to the "it's all my fault" self talk. Best of luck fellow humans, each new day is an opportunity for different experiences. Or to quote my favorite childhood movie "try looking at it another way" -James and the giant peach.
Re: wipe warmer: my son also HATED a cold wipe, especially during nigh time changes. Having the warmer helped soooo much. But a lot of my friends told me it was a waste of money. You just gotta do what works for your fam.
Absolutely. When I got to college I was so convinced I was going to start doing better that I didn't take my medication for almost a week, and then I went into a really deep valley of depression and anxiety while ALSO adjusting to college life. Definitely was a wake up call that I do still need my meds at the moment, but that that's okay because it helps me be the best version of myself right now, and that's all I can ask of it.
I am a Christian and I took Zoloft after I gave birth in June last year. There are a lot of folks in the church who might be shocked. But guys. I was. a MESS. I was *sobbing* in my doctor’s office and when she suggested medication, it felt like someone threw me a life preserver in a raging sea. I thanked the Lord for the medicine because it kept me from drowning during that time. I am so grateful for that medicine, and for the Lord for providing it through my OB. ❤️
tortilla talk: not a question but i have been watching you for 7 years now. miranda included. and i have never watched someone as real and honest as you. your videos and vlogs help me to not feel as alone as i seem. im currently struggling with anxiety, depression, and adhd and trying to accept the fact that i do need medication and hearing you talk about it has made me realize i need to take that step in my life. i love you so much colleen and im extremely proud of all you do!
I'm extremely grateful that you share your honest and true feelings on literally anything. I personally haven't taken medication for depression myself but I relate to feeling that it's hard to admit that something like depression is a reality when you've been taught to pray it away through religious stuff and how you said when you feel that little bit of happiness that makes you feel bad for taking antidepressants, i totally get that
i'm not postpartum, but i have taken anxiety medication for over two years and at first i had the same experience of feeling like i don't want to need the medication. eventually, i realized how worth it and helpful it was and how getting help is actually incredibly empowering. but it does take some adjusting at first. sending love to y'all !!
Colleen, I feel you so much. When you talked about anti-depressants I related to it 100%. I was at the doctor's yesterday and they prescribed me anti-depressants. I still haven't decided to take them out, because I feel the same way as you. Never viewed myself as a person who would take them. And perhaps no one does? I haven't completely decided yet, but the way you talk about it makes me feel a lot less alone. Thank you for talking about it in a way that makes so much sense. Even though it can feel like it doesn't. Love you
I just want to say, thank you for everything but also thank you for talking more in depth about your depression and anxiety today. As someone who was recently diagnosed with both and have been battling it for a few months, you made me feel a lot less alone tonight and I just genuinely can’t thank you enough for that. You inspire me everyday Colleen, thank you for being you and being here doing what you are💗 I appreciate you and your family more than you’ll ever know🤍
Tortilla talk: not a question but just want you to know that I cannot express how but these vlogs just make me so happy,I relate to you so much (personality wise) and I'm only 13, just wanted to say thank you for continuing to vlog
Tortilla talk : Colleen, you have made my day aggressively better every single day. I listen to your podcast every single day while working and I have laughed and been on the verge of tears at least once per episode. Love you so much and just now you are changing the world one video/podcast at a time :)
After being diagnosed with anxiety and depression I found it hard to tell a lot of people in my life because, to me, it was admitting that I was struggling and we just don't do that. I didn't want to be judged by people who I assumed all thought 'what has she got to be anxious and depressed about?'. However I had no issue with telling people I didn't know that well that I was suffering. My biggest challenge with accepting it was that I have done numerous courses and a lot of research on mental health and know all about anxiety and depression from a medical or scientific background or whatever, yet didn't recognise it within myself. I knew what anxiety and depression consisted of, in general as everyone is different, but didn't believe that I was someone who was like that because I was known as the happy bubbly girl! Thankfully we live in a time where more people are open about their mental health struggles so we don't have to wonder in silence if we're the only ones going through something, but sadly grew up at a time where you didn't admit out loud that there is a problem so it's just an extra thing to battle.
When you were talking about depression and anxiety meds... I literally was at a doc appt today and was explaining those exact words to my doc... About being brought up to just suck it up, this is just a phase you'll get though. I am so afraid of getting addicted to something or being a zombie mom. And I know right now that I'm having issues because my dad is at the end of his life, and it's alot emotionally and physically. Keep telling myself I'll be fine later. But a new doc today told me it's OK to have help with meds, it doesn't need to be forever.
Maisy smiling was so precious! With everything that’s going on today globally would make a lot of people have episodes of depression between the pandemic and the situation in the Ukraine. It’s okay to be on meds if they help you feel better and no one should stand in judgment of that. When your doctors and counselor tell you it’s okay for you to wean off the meds then do so under their guidance. We will always support you no matter what, Colleen. Tortilla talk question without you revealing anything too personal are there any fond memories of you either when you were growing up or as a young 20 something that you could share with us?
Tortilla talk question: Does Flynn use the secret door that is in between his and the twin's room?? Has he come up with any games with the door or does he call it anything fun???
I just want to thank you for being so open & honest about your postpartum journey, especially with the NICU, PPD, & therapy. I’m 6 week postpartum with a baby in the NICU still and it’s encouraged me to reach out and start going to therapy ♥️
I remember this feeling when walking to the pharmacy like " oh, seems like I am a person with depression and am really struggling". In the end ( this is now more than two years ago) its has been the best decision for me and I'm living now my best life without any medications. You are very brave to talk abbout this openly!
I really relate to you with regards to the depression and having to take anti-depressants. I think it's just a tangible reminder that you have depression and it's hard to admit. Just like you said...there is a stigma and society tends to look down on people with depression. Luckily it is getting better and more awareness is out there. You are so strong and you give me so much inspiration. I love how transparent you are about everything. It's one of the qualities that I think so many people love about you.
colleen, accepting part of yourself health wise, whether it’s mental or physical, is SO hard and i’m so glad that you spoke how you do get sad, and you do sometimes think “why do i have to take this? i wish i didn’t have to take this to be okay” and like you said, acceptance is the hardest part. as someone with both mental and physical issues that i need medication for both, it’s refreshing to hear i’m not alone in sometimes being negative and feeling sorry for myself. love you and your family colleen ♥️ EDIT: “praying the mental health away” is something so many people think and so many religious people think that mental health issues aren’t real.. 😅
Colleen, listening to you talking about needing to take medication for depression and how you started to cry caused me to start crying. I too take medication for depression and thought the same thing and foolish me went almost a week without my medication and was in the worst shape ever. I cried for hours every day. I didn't want to be with anyone including my partner. and even at my lowest point i contemplated hurting myself. Not to worry i am good now and I will never stop my medication again. You are freaking amazing. thank you for being you :) love from Canada
Tortilla talk: Will you talk to your kiddos when they’re older about mental health? Growing up I was ashamed about having depression but the older I got the more I understood. Also hope everything is well, & Netflix has a show called Trash Truck with a little boy who looks JUST like Flynn!!
I completely understand how you feel, Colleen. That brought tears to my eyes because I can relate. I take a depression med and an anxiety med every day, and sometimes before I take them I break down and cry. I question why I need them. I wish I didn’t. But they help. And I’m thankful for that. It’s hard. You’ve got this Colleen!
It took me trying so many different medications for anxiety and depression and when I started the one I’ve been on for three years I refused too. I was so tired of side effects and panic attacks and I felt exhausted from trying. My doctors had to have a long talk with me about how important it is to take it every day and it takes time to help. I am so glad I listened because I’m so much happier today. I really hope you can have the same ❤️ Medication is daunting and it’s hard to talk about especially for depression. I felt embarrassed and ashamed at first but talking about it has helped so many people I know. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Ugh yes!!! My mom is someone who doesn't believe in medication for mental health and I don't think she realized how much I needed it until she saw me crying and not leaving my room for 2 weeks straight. She would say just pray and pray and I'm like I can't function. Medication has helped so much. I can actually go outside and it feels great.
Colleen I’ve been watching your videos for a while and I can say with confidence you’re doing the best you can. Remember to be patient with yourself and know that you’re doing better than you’re feeling 💜
I can absolutely relate. I was diagnosed with a Panic Disorder back in 2018 and I had been fighting really debilitating panic attacks with the hopes that they would just go away or that I could be “strong” and handle it. I would get well-meaning advice to avoid meds and to try natural remedies. It got to the point that I had to accept that I needed medication. The way my doctor explained it was “If you were told you had a physical illness, like high blood pressure or diabetes , would you take medication? Having depression or anxiety is an illness. You are taking the medication needed to treat a legitimate illness.” Although hearing that helped, I picked up my prescription and stared at the pill while crying. In my mind, taking it would make everything feel too real. It was official. But I can say that it has saved my life. It does get better and the medication is just the little boost your brain needs to get back on the right path. Stay strong!
Grew up in church and totally relate! I started taking meds for anxiety when I was 16 and it has been a journey back and forth since. After my first baby I had anxiety to thee point I stayed in bed for a week because if I got out of bed I would have a panic attack. I immediately went back on medication and am soooooo thankful for it! The bible Talks about taking care of our bodies as a temple and this is one way I do.
YES 100% this is how I felt/ still feel sometimes with taking antidepressants. I’ve always been pro-medication but once it was me, for some reason it was soooo challenging to admit I needed it and actually pick up the script and take the pill. Then I went thru realizing I needed to switch meds and that was another hurdle- admitting the first pill wasn’t working! Now I am on a wonderful medication and I have no side effects praise be. But I often catch myself thinking “ugh I don’t want to need this” or “I feel okay now I don’t think I need this” but if I miss a dose it knocks me on my booty and I have to come to terms with the fact that it’s the medication doing it’s job and THATS why I feel okay. Ugh such a roller coaster, I feel you girl. You are not alone!
Something that helps me when taking medication, is I try to remember that if I had a broken leg, it makes sense to take things to help me heal, so it's the same concept with something that's a little chemically off in my mind. It needs to heal and it will, but taking medication to help me is not a bad thing! It can just get so weird because we think of our mind as more connected to our soul, but it is still a physical part of our body and sometimes it can get worn out like any other part of our body.
Colleen, I so appreciate you talking about your struggles with starting on antidepressants. I started them about 6 months ago and was very scared of how it would effect me, and was bummed that I couldn’t work through my problems myself. Cut to now and I can’t believe I didn’t start taking them sooner. They have cleared away the fog and I have become so aware of who I truly am as a person. I hope that they continue to do nothing but good for you, and let the shine in through a little bit brighter ❤️
Yes! Thank you for briefly mentioning being depressed and being in the church. For years I was praying and asking God constantly why he wasn’t helping me. Everyone says leave it at the cross and I couldn’t. I thought it something was wrong with me. Like why couldn’t I give this burden away like everyone told me to. I talked to my pastor about it and he bluntly told me, “God made everyone. Everyone can create things because He made it possible. If you need to medicate, you need to medicate. Your faith isn’t broken. Medicine could be the answer to your prayers and he’s waiting on you to accept it.” We are all built differently and we all coupe and deal in different ways. I know you don’t talk much about faith but I really appreciate you mentioning it time to time. God bless you and your incredible family. Watching your videos makes me feel like I’m FaceTiming my bestie. Lots of love from literally across the country (Maine) 💖❤️
As someone with Chronic Bipolar Depression, who also suffered from PPD/A I WISH I had your strength to admit I need help sometimes. You make me feel so less alone through out my life! You have always inspired me to advocate for myself and my health! Thank you for always being the big sister I never had!
changing my perspective on taking my meds really helped me. telling myself things like, i’m getting stronger, my amazing body is thanking me, it’s not a bad thing to medicate a condition and this is no different, it’s only propelling me to a place i used to be. admitting it to yourself is the first step in getting out of it. it’s painful but you’re one step closer. and you WILL get out of it. ☀️🌻🌱🌈🌹🌼
As someone who’s 24 and been on anti depressants since 15 and I still go through phases where I don’t want to take my medication. It’s totally normal but having a little routine around when you take it will make it feel more like self care than something you have to do. I’ve even gone as far as to order fun dispensers online. The hard days will always be there but no they aren’t forever and focus on feeling present while taking them 💗 hope this helps
i just recently started therapy after a couple of years to deal with school and childhood trauma. and medication was brought up and that terrified me. my whole mom’s side of the family struggles with mental health and every single person is on medication but when they said it for me it was an automatic “no i’m fine I don’t need that” accepting that you need it and that it’s okay to need it is a HUGE step. thank you for sharing what you go through. most days I have breakdowns and struggle really bad with overthinking and depression and because of you i have started to accept that I do need meds and that it is okay to take them and it’s not a bad thing.
hi love! two years ago i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and i also do have dermatillomania so watching your videos of how u are struggling and persevering for your family and yourself is tremendously inspiring. as someone who went through the majority of my life thinking that everyone else felt this way, being diagnosed was incredibly difficult for me. being depressed makes simple tasks much harder to accomplish and YOU ARE KILLING IT DAY BY DAY. what i’ve learned is that the healing is a roller coaster, its not linear so dont get angry at yourself for waking up sad and dreading doing some things because u are mentally exhausted. anyway i love u inspire me a lot.
I totally understand what you’re talking about when you mentioned how hard it is to accept that you’re taking medication for depression. I just recently started taking medication for anxiety/ depression and ADHD. I didn’t go to church when I was younger, but my mom would get upset with me whenever I showed sadness or when I wasn’t constantly happy. So growing up I would continue to say that I’m fine until I convinced myself and now all of that is finally having it’s affect. She also thought that depression, anxiety and ADHD meant that something was wrong and said that I wasn’t any of those so I had to pull myself together. I hope this works out for you, you truly are strong and allowed to have “bad” days. Every minute that you’re mad/ sad is a minute that you lose to enjoy life and be at peace. I always have to remind myself of that. It’s easier said than done
Tortilla talk question: does Flynn ever throw tantrums? I know he’s a toddler and toddlers usually do, but he is just so sweet I can’t picture him throwing one lol btw i love you and you are amazing ❤️❤️
Hi Colleen. I've been struggling on and off with depression, anxiety, and potential ADHD symptoms since highschool and I'm 34. It wasn't till about 2-3 years ago that I hit rock bottom and finally asked for help and I agree that it's so so hard to take those pills, especially in the first little bit with the side effects and thinking that the fact that I couldn't deal with it myself somehow made me weak. It's helped me to think of it this way...you get a cast for a broken arm, you get surgery for organs that aren't functioning right, you take pills for a brain that doesn't produce enough serotonin or dopamine and that's totally ok. I have to remind myself constantly that it's like taking a vitamin for my brain...it makes me function properly and that's the most important thing. You are doing what's right for you, your family and those babies. Keep on keeping on, I know it can be so so hard but you've got this. Sending love from Ontario, Canada.
As a therapist- I see clients weekly who have this mental block in admitting they need some help from an antidepressant for their depression/anxiety. It’s something we process and work through by breaking down the stigmas placed on mental health related medication and acknowledging the lack of stigma there is on other very necessary meds people take (high blood pressure meds, insulin, etc). Like you said, it can be a hard pill to swallow in admitting you need that extra help, but it’s one that we try to shift our thinking about- finding a moment to be grateful these things exist and are here to help us get out of the pits of anxiety and depression that can happen in life. 💕 thanks for talking about it- it’s so needed!! And you are SO not alone in thinking this way.
I put off medication for so long to the point where I convinced myself I had a hormone imbalance, because for some reason that seemed more justifiable than having anxiety and depression. When I saw my Gyno, she put it so well… she said “you just need a little bit of serotonin and we’re gonna give you that.” She made me truly realize it was a chemical imbalanced for the first time, something completely out of my control and not my fault. That change of mentality along with the medication has truly saved me.
Hi Colleen, I'm just listening to you talk about not wanting to take antidepressants and I just wanted to share a little story. I was 16 when I was diagnosed with depression, took antidepressants for maybe 6 months, and stopped when I decided I didn't need them anymore (I don't recommend this). Near the end of 2019 I was struggling and had been for YEARS so my doctor put me back on antidepressants. It wasn't until I had a mental breakdown at the beginning of 2020 that a doctor finally realized how bad my depression was, changed my antidepressants, and also put me on antipsychotics and anticonvulsants. I can't tell you how much better I feel. I know what it's like not wanting to take medication and worrying about not being yourself. I have never felt more myself than I do when I'm fully medicated and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to take something that makes me feel better. Remember that it's likely not forever, you do need a little help right now, and the meds allow you to function and be more yourself. You aren't a depressed person, you are a person who has post-partum depression. You're not alone and you got this ❤
Ahhh I love this ❤️ I came here to say something similar. Mine was a second tier dosage of an anti depressant and a medication typically used for narcolepsy. Finding the *right* medication made me able to see how chemical/biological the problem was and how I was never going to be able to fix the problem on my own. My brain didn't have the resources it needed to think positively regardless of how hard I tried or how much meditation/yoga/exercise/healthy eating/etc I did. I didn't even know how not myself I was before, my thoughts had been so hijacked by the illness.
Admitting something that people have always looked down upon is really scary. I've been taking anti depression meds since I was 17 (I'm 23 now) and I relate you 100%... its hard to accept in the beginning but it gets less uncomfortable (I won't say easy cause nothing about this easy but yeah 😅)
Tortilla talk question: what is your favorite part of being a mom and what’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned as a mom after having all three of your babies. absolutely love your family and these videos, keep up the amazing work!! 🥰❤
Thank you Colleen for talking about your mental health!It helps me feel less alone.I've faced mental health stigma with a friend and a doctor in the past,an it's so hard to have so few people in my life I feel I can be fully myself with,and be open about the struggles I have with depression,an anxiety.I've got way to good at pretending I'm okay.You're amazing Colleen!
I COMPLETELY related to the depression conversation Colleen. I struggled greatly with taking anti-depressants in the beginning. I didn’t want to admit I had a problem with depression, I didn’t want medication to change my personality (even though I didn’t want to be sad either). I was afraid that all of the emotions I had would become bland and I wouldn’t really feel anything anymore. I once heard someone say that taking anti-depressants is like wearing floaties in the pool. Some people need them to stay afloat and there’s nothing wrong with needing some help to keep your head above water. Anyways love you! Keep being the incredible mom and human you are! 💜💜💜💜
They make a soft plastic nipple guard thing that catches any leaking milk! Especially if you leak enough to need pads, I’d recommend looking into that. It was amazing how much milk I was losing into pads and throwing away.
Tortilla Talk Question: Hey Colleen! My name is Jasmine and first off I wanted to say that you’re doing an incredible job as a momma to Flynn and the twins! I know this is into the future, but when the time comes do you intend to let Flynn attend preschool and up or to be homeschooled? By the way, I hope today wasn’t too rough of a day for you & Erik; you guys have been rocking it! ❤️
Colleen, never feel like you can’t show your true emotions or be vulnerable on here. We all love and support you, especially the journey you’re facing! Love from Ivy❤️🌈🏳️🌈
im so happy you shared your experience with medication, I have the same feeling everyday where I don't want to take my medication to feel "normal" and to hear from someone I look up to really encouraged me so thank you so much
as someone who has tried 3 different antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds with no results, please take advantage of this opportunity and don’t feel ashamed or bad. everyone’s brain chemistry is different, and meds may work wonders for you. i used to feel the same defeat when i was prescribed all of them (independently, at different times of course) but now looking back i just wished any of them had worked and i realized it was silly of me to think badly of the need to take them. we take meds for when we have colds, or have aches and pains, so taking medicine for mental health is the same thing. nothing to be ashamed of. all the best, colleen 💗
Totally relate. Felt like I was admitting I’m a failure when I finally decided to get on the medication. And some days I also skipped it because I resented having to take it so much. And then I would lay in bed all day and feel like crap anyway. For me it goes in streaks (I think having to do with my hormones and just situations happening in life) where I am totally fine taking it, happy to take it, know it helps me so much. Then other streaks I either have to FORCE myself or my partner has to watch me take it. Or I just don’t take it. The longer I’ve been on it the longer the good streaks last! Proud of you for making the right decision for you and your mental health. It’s worth it for your husband and kids to see you happier and healthier. Love you!
I received a diagnosis of adhd and autism back in November last year and was sent straight to a psychiatrist to go on medication trials. I was extremely nervous about going on medication because of the side effects that I had heard about from the medications I was put on. It took me two weeks to actually gain the courage to take the medication and after taking it, I felt like a different person, like I finally felt how it feels to not have my brain race to a million different places at once, and to have a clear head for the first time in my 22 years on this earth. I will admit that after I received the initial diagnosis from the psychologist, I saw myself as a completely different person, with a tonne of problems that I never expected. But I have had my family and my best friend (who also has adhd and autism) stand with me and help me get through that mental battle within myself. Keep going, we are so proud of you Colleen x
colleen! i have a family member who has been taking anti depressants for over 10 years, and she still feels that every time she need a refill (literally every time) and ultimately comes to the same conclusion every time that she does need it! it’s a struggle that happens, and you are not alone! don’t have much advice, but i hope it helps enough just to know you’re not alone🧡
Social work grad student here…I’m currently learning a LOT in my social work classes. One thing that’s really important to remember is that medication (usually along with talk therapy) can really help people! I’m glad that it’s helping you and I’ve been on SSRIs for over 8 years now for multiple diagnoses like OCD, PTSD, chronic pain, and more. It’s really helped me and I NEED it because when I go off from them I end up feeling really chaotic and don’t feel stable emotionally. So, it can really help and I’m glad you’re doing what’s right for you and your situation. Love from a future social worker! 💛
Tortilla talk question: Would Erik be comfortable being in more vlogs? And or be able to take over a vlog for a day? I know both of you have relax but it would be cool to see him in a more day to day setting.
I have been having a very shitty day and seeing the notification made me smile :) Thank you fro continuing to upload almost every day. Love you Colleen.
Lifetime struggler of anxiety and depression here (and relatively recent adhd diagnosee). For me, when I finally had the nerve to admit that I was struggling and needed chemical help was a game changer. I was 20. 7 years later I came off them to see where I was at and my anxiety almost actually killed me. That’s when I had to come to terms with the fact that I might have to be on meds for the rest of my life. Now I’m proud to be in meds. I’m proud that, with meds, I’ve been able to put the work in in therapy to heal trauma and all that stuff. Anyway, I’m proud of you for talking about it and grateful you are sharing your story!! You are strong and amazing. Thank you!
I feel the same way. I’m really struggling but I finally feel brave enough to take my health seriously. It’s the hardest thing to admit. Thank you for being so open. We really need that
Tortilla talk: I’ve noticed a subtle red mark on Wesley’s head - is that a birthmark? Do you, Erik, Maisy or Flynn have any birthmarks? Also what friends character are you most like? Love you!!!
My son had a similar mark when he was born. It’s called an angel kiss. It got more red if he cried, got hot, etc. It faded as he got older. My daughter had one on the nape of her neck. Those ones are called stork bites. Same thing, it faded as she grew up. 😀
✨Colleen is literally such a QUEEN✨ I’m literally 13 and not a mom but watch every video and think they are so AMAZING tortilla talk question : do you ever think of the idea of moving anymore? You had briefly talked about before the twins were born but was just thought💕 love you
Colleen, I've dealt with this too! You are definitely not alone. When I take my meds I take them with the other vitamins or meds I have to take, and I think to myself, "Time to take my brain vitamin!" and it helps a lot. We don't hesitate to take things that are good for other parts of our bodies, but we are so hard on ourselves when it comes to our brains and mental health. Let's all take our brain vitamins and feel better together!
I waited over a year until I started medication, tried every other option I could come up with to give myself the feeling that I could do it “on my own” and “not give in”, which really isn’t what taking meds is about. I can still work on my well-being while taking medication. If you have an upset stomach from eating something bad, of course you would work on eating better things, even if you choose to take a stomach ache pill first. One thing doesn’t exclude the other. So at some point I boiled everything down to this: a smart next step would be to help my body and spirit produce more serotonin, and that’s also the one thing that depression meds specialize in: To help keep healthy serotonin levels. Looking at it this way made it so much easier to see it as a purely helpful thing, and it also made me feel like I still had freedom and control over every other aspect that comes with well-being. I didn’t just “numb the pain” but helped my body get the energy it needs to invest into healing itself. The end goal of it all.
Tortilla Talk Question: I got cast as the lead role in my school musical. What is your best method for memorizing lines? Also do you have any advice when it comes to getting nervous before a performance? Lol sorry it is so unrelated to everything else but I really look up to you with your acting and singing. I love you! 💕 ~Jenna
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Colleen, I really hope you see this. When I started talking an antidepressant I felt EXACTLY the same way.
It felt like admitting defeat, admitting that I wasn't good enough, admitting that I wasn't strong enough. I vividly remember picking up the prescription and staring at the pill and wondering why it was so hard for me to take it.
But just like you I grew up in those Conservative Christian circles and surrounded by that mentality of pushing through. And that totally messed with my mind as I tried to cope with the reality that I am a person who needs to be on antidepressants.
You are not alone. You are so not alone. And I know that you know this, but I also know that somewhere deep in your soul this needs to be heard. You are enough. You are strong. You are doing the right thing. Needing this has no reflection on your worth, your strength, your value, your character.
Keep taking care of yourself, mama. Keep loving yourself, mama. And know that I am proud of you. We all are. 💜
Rachel, your words are amazing and so incredibly true! Thank u for this post!
I really hope she sees this. We love you Colleen! ❤
Same I lied and said it was anxiety medication from people for over a year and I was lying to myself I was more comfortable being diagnosed with anxiety than depression because my whole like depression has only seemed to be the most extreme thing and like to admit that’s where your at is terrifying
❤️
@@sici7170 ironic because anxiety meds have a bigger stigma bc they are addictive and can be abused by addicts, whereas antidepressants aren’t.
Colleen
The best advice I ever received was “think of taking your medication like putting on glasses”.
Meaning that just like everyone will have a unique prescription for their eyeglasses, everyone will have I have a unique prescription for their brain.
It would be silly for someone who needs eyeglasses to not wear them and not be able to focus (let alone a headache from trying to work harder than they need).
If there is a tool that exists to help me see more clearly I would be silly not to use it. And if my needs ever change I can change my “eyeglass” prescription.
Idk if this helps or makes sense but I really appreciated it. :)
Wow I absolutely love this.. being someone who has wore glasses her whole life and has been on multiple medications for 14 yrs I never saw the correlation. Without my meds I cant think clearly and my brain is foggy just like without glasses I can't see clearly and my visions blurred. It will change your responses and the decisions you make in either scenario to every day situations
💕
I just came from her recent vlog and this comment is amazing I couldn’t agree more
It took me years to come to terms with the fact that I had depression and going to the doctor to have it properly diagnosed was terrifying for me, but it was the biggest step in the right direction. I was so scared to take medication but it has tremendously helped me. I truly hope it is doing the same for you. It doesn’t mean you aren’t strong, it means you are even STRONGER because you can admit that you need help! Keep going, mama. You got this🧡
People with diabetes often think, “I’m doing well enough, maybe I don’t need my medication.” It’s the same with depression. Both are medical conditions that require medication. I know it’s difficult, but thank you for helping to normalize needing that assistance. Mental health is HEALTH! And sometimes, we need to see a doctor to keep us healthy! You’re a role model in so many ways! You’re doing great!
You are so right!
I can totally relate, Colleen. It took me literal years to seek treatment for depression. Having a doctor finally explain that taking medication for depression is no different than taking medication for diabetes or a heart condition, was what finally made me understand and stop blaming myself for “being sad.” The stigma that surrounds depression is slowly lifting. It takes people like you and me learning about this condition, and understanding that we aren’t doing something wrong, and that depression is not weakness.
Colleen, I totally get where you were coming from with it being hard to start taking anti-depressants. When I started, I was afraid that the medication would make me a different person or make me less like *me*. The opposite happened - it made me feel like myself again! If you were vitamin deficient you would take your vitamins and not think anything of it. It's the same for neurotransmitters in your brain - the fact that we treat these cases differently just shows how much stigma there is about mental health.
Exactly this!! I thought they would make me less me, but happy me is so much more me than depressed me.
Very true.. I thought I would be a shell of myself after taking medication but its the opossite it actually calmed me made me more comfortable to be myself around others
Yes yes yes!! Boosting this
Tortilla talk: I'm also a mom that struggled with postpartum depression, this is my 4th baby and I'd never had this struggle before but WOW. The day we came home from the hospital, that night I sobbed in bed to my husband, felt like I was the worst mom, that I was already failing all 4 of my girls and they deserved better, daily depression and crying continued for 2 weeks and I just knew I wasn't myself and I couldn't live like that anymore so I called my Dr and got in and she was amazingly kind and sat through me crying and just listened and then she prescribed me some depression meds, she started me on the lowest dose, I've since gone up a tiny bit but once we got the right dose it was a WORLD of difference, the world was bright again, I was ME again. It's hard to admit to ourselves the we need help because we're moms and we're "supposed to have it all together" but reality is messy, growing babies and taking care of them is HARD, there's no manual. every baby, pregnancy and mothering type is different and the world needs to accept that it's OKAY. You're doing amazing mama, your babies are lucky to have you!
You are a great mom. 4 kids amazing. You are loved ❤️
The world is getting extremely scary and a new Colleen vlog is just what I needed ❤️ i love you Colleen. I hope everybody had a good day today despite everything!
True words were never spoken. And I hope u have a good day, too
@@emeraldocean7885 aw thank you! i really appreciate it ❤️
i was just thinking the same
so scary. her vlogs really help my anxiety. I hope ur having a good day!!
@@DelilahSents you too! yes i struggling from anxiety recently and her vlogs help me sm
As someone with ADHD who’s on an SSRI, I completely, COMPLETELY relate. Taking medication was so scary to me at first because it felt like I was failing. Here’s what made me feel better: realizing that my mood and my emotional reactions to things are not always within my control. I feel like we sell ourselves this false narrative that any emotional experience we have is the direct result of our own actions or ability to practice ~self care~ when, in reality, sometimes, in some situations our brains will not be able to chemically function without help. And that is okay.
Same! This has also really helped, because there have been people who respond with, "well what if you become chemically dependent on a prescription substance." And I've realized like...yeah? That's the point? Everyone is dependent on these chemicals. Everyone needs these same brain chemicals to function. People who don't take SSRIs need serotonin just as much as I do. It's just that some people's brains make/utilize them on their own, and my body doesn't, so I have to take them in pill form. Similar to the analogy with needing glasses to see, or a diabetic needing insulin.
I’m so happy you’ve talked about taking antidepressants, this was a hard pill for me to swallow too but for me I had to realize this is what I needed for me. I think about how much better I’ve felt after taking them for a while. I get the feeling of not “needing it” you are not alone with this feeling. I’m so proud of you I know this isn’t easy, you’re so strong & brave to revel layers of yourself & being so venerable. Sending love your way
Jesus loves you all🤍
I had the same feelings when I had to go on anxiety meds full-time. I'd "dealt" with it my whole life but three years ago, it took a turn and I decided to commit to it. Best decision for me, and it truly saved me. Glad to know I'm not the only one with that struggle of acceptance with my mental health diagnosis...
Also -I know your hair is bugging you lately....but it looks bomb in this video 🥰
As someone who has been on anti-anxiety medication for about 7 years, I totally understand how you feel. I struggled to come to terms with the fact that i needed a pill to make me feel normal, but over time i have realised that if this medication allows me to live my life without debilitating anxiety interfering with my daily activities then it is worth it! Sending love and appreciate you sharing your mental health journey with us ❤️
When you were talking about how you felt when starting antidepressants, I totally related. I struggled with an eating disorder for 6 years, and the first time I went to treatment I remember just sobbing filling out the paperwork and feeling like there was something wrong with me or I was a failure and just having trouble facing that I was struggling with that...but it was one of the best decisions I ever made - hang in there!
Upvoting because someone else copied your comment word for word and reposted as their own!
I had intense postpartum anxiety and getting on medication literally saved my sanity and my life. I’m proud of you for doing things that make you uncomfortable. You’re a great mom and your babies will thank you for the beautiful childhood you’re giving them. Just think of what you’d miss out on if you were stuck on the couch or in bed with crippling anxiety. You got this, mama.
Could not relate more to “pray away mental health.” As someone who grew up in a very hostile church situation, I 100000% get this. I am now on anxiety and depression medication because during this season of my life, I need it. It was an incredibly hard decision to admit to people that I made, but was not hard for me personally to make.
I am now out of that church and in one that fully supports mental health and actually advocates for it.
I’m so glad that you’ve decided to take care of yourself and that you e found a supportive church!
I love this. There are legitimate needs for medicine when neural pathways are not properly functioning. I am a part of a wonderful church family that understands that there’s nothing wrong with medicating to help promote brain health! And I am also a firm believer that our minds can be helped greatly by reading and meditating on the word of God, both things can work together!
I was looking for a comment like this. As a Christian I know sometimes mental health can be treated a little like that (like ignored or that you need to pray about it) but I actually read this morning that there really is a distinction between mental health and spiritual health. So sometimes there might literally be something chemically wrong in your mind or whatever that requires medication to fix, and other times it is a matter of perspective and surrender to God. I am new to this too so just learning so hope I haven't said anything wrong here.
@@amazingamity1770 I think that if more people were open minded and teachable like you just explained, it would be a much more supported topic in the church. Good on you for realizing the distinction between types of health, they are all very important, and I think you’re right that mental & spiritual for some reason get lumped together.
So many awful things came from COVID, but one of the good things was a massive mental health movement, mental health IS a part of health care. Thank you for sharing!
@@amazingamity1770 I totally agree, there is a distinction between the two. I sometimes feel guilt for needing medication as a Christian, but I found that by taking care of myself however I need I am able to grow stronger with God. Whereas before my depression would get so bad I would almost stray away entirely.
In the beginning of the quarantine I ran to your vlogs for…comfort? Protection? And I forgot that’s what I was here for from the start. Lately I’ve noticed I’ve gone back into that shell of fear, anxiety, depression and I’ve subconsciously come back here because you make me feel safe. You always have. It’s more than just me watching someone who makes content. I feel less alone physically, mentally, and emotionally when I’m watching you. Thank you so much. There aren’t words to thank you for what you do.
I also get so much comfort from colleens videos. I don’t even know why since she has anxiety in like every video lmao. She motivated me to be able to get through all my anxiety and depression
I agree. Colleen is so sweet and I'm just calm when I watch her. I hope your mental health improves.
@@kaiaswrld I mean it must be pretty scary to have the whole worlds eyes on you and have everyone trying to give their opinions good or bad yk?
@@karlandlivvy thank you I really appreciate that
Me as well. It reminds me of safety, comfort, a place where I could relate. I look forward to it every time I see her notification! She got me through quarantine and is helping me now ❤️ I also struggle with some mental health issues like anxiety, so I totally relate. Hope your mental health gets better!
Tortilla talk question:
It seems that Erik is getting more and more comfortable with the camera. Is it me or is it true? I feel like I’ve seen him more and more as the vlogs go on. Love you you’re strong and amazing! Mention me😘❤️
Yep for sure, it seems like since he does the podcasts he is getting more comfortable being on camera
Oh my gosh yes! It is so cool to see his progress
Yes true!
@Yasra Amiri he's saying he ate crayons in a video on his channel. Yep.
THIS is MIRANDA Sings BOYFRIEND 👇👇
m.th-cam.com/video/q9YOJBUBpl0/w-d-xo.html
While I don’t have postpartum depression or anxiety, I have struggled with near constant severe anxiety and depression for the last few years and I put off medication for the longest time, but last year I started on it and it was genuinely life changing. I found I started to just enjoy the little things. What you’re saying about not wanting to admit to needing it is so accurate and I felt that, but like you say, there’s no shame in it at all. You do what you can to get by. You’re so strong, you’ve got this xx
Hey Colleen! I’m a psychiatric nurse here in Canada. I want you to know that your mixed emotions taking medication are so so normal. Sometimes it’s hard to admit we have a problem and just the stigma of having a mental illness can make you want to get off the meds as soon as possible. Just remember that’s it’s ok to not be ok. Every good day you have is one step closer to eventual recovery but it’s a day by day process. Keep in mind too that just because you have been diagnosed with a mental illness doesn’t mean it’s a lifelong diagnosis. I was diagnosed years ago with PTSD, and depression. I’ve battled depression off and on for years but can proudly say I no longer have PTSD. You will get through this and you are so strong. Thank you so much for bringing awareness to another aspect of mental illness and being so open about your emotions. You being you and expressing your thoughts help others who feel the same. Love your vlogs and your beautiful family. Nicole
Never feel like there's a defect in you by taking medicine. I understand how you feel I have been on antidepressants for 20 years. I also hated the fact that I had to take them. Now I realized they saved my life. After my third baby was born I had severe depression but back then you just suffered though it. I'm grateful to be happy and thriving today. There were very dark times and I felt so quilty because I thought I was a weak person for having a mental illness. Over time I realize what a badness I am for getting to this point in my life. Never feel "less than" because you take them. You need them right now....for you and for your family. Love and light to you and your beautiful family.
Ive had depression my whole life, and it took me 21 years to commit to antidepressants because I felt weak having to take them. You’re not alone in the feeling that you shouldn’t need them, but I’m so glad that you are getting the help you are recognizing you need. You’re so strong and are doing amazing!! Thank you for shining a light on something taboo yet so common💜
Tortilla Talk: I am so interested in what Cory and Eric’s relationship is like. With how important he is in your lives, I’m curious if they have a relationship outside of you? I’m about to graduate college this year and I’ve been watching you since middle school! Time flies! Love you and best wishes to you family💜
i think we’re all still sorta expected to just “be okay” and generally have everything together so any time we face something that means we’re not necessarily okay it makes us feel like we’re not meeting expectations. i struggle with letting that get to me too even though it shouldn’t matter what other people’s expectations are, it’s just hard to not feel that expectation to have it together.
Jesus loves you all🤍
this exactly. i feel this with all of the various illnesses (physical and mental) as well as like stress management. it’s hard to get out of the idea that, in this hustle and grind culture, you can will it away or work harder to ignore it. even behavioral changes and sitting with things can bring on so much unwanted shame and feelings of failing. *however* when we make changes, when we face ourselves and our problems, when we can look objectively at ourselves as we would another human, we grow. it’s such a cliché but growth, health, verdant living often starts with acknowledgment, which can be the scariest part of it all. love to you and anyone else like us, as well as colleen. :) 🖤🖤
I've been taking an anti-depressant for years and when my brother more recently passed away unexpectedly I had to take a higher dosage. I can relate to how you're feeling Colleen, as I felt almost ashamed and weak that I not only needed this medication to begin with, but had to up my dosage greatly. I hated taking it for awhile but have come to terms with it as it makes me feel better, and there is no shame in that. Sometimes we just need a little extra help, whether it be from prescribed medication(s), therapy, or both. Love you Colleen and whoever is reading this
Colleen, always know that we are going to support and love you no matter what, you are a wonderful mama and you will do what’s right for you and your kids ❤️
@Muscleman8562 😂
Tortilla talk: totally related to everything you said about depression and needing but not wanting medication. I had a very different upbringing but feel the exact same way and I know several friends who voice similar things. You’re not alone ❤️
Oh my gosh I know the feeling. The number of times I've been told "depression is a choice" is staggering. The number of people that genuinely believe(d) that someone would choose to be miserable instead of happy, oof. It also doesn't help when you are used to being scapegoated and always resort to the "it's all my fault" self talk. Best of luck fellow humans, each new day is an opportunity for different experiences. Or to quote my favorite childhood movie "try looking at it another way" -James and the giant peach.
Re: wipe warmer: my son also HATED a cold wipe, especially during nigh time changes. Having the warmer helped soooo much. But a lot of my friends told me it was a waste of money. You just gotta do what works for your fam.
Absolutely. When I got to college I was so convinced I was going to start doing better that I didn't take my medication for almost a week, and then I went into a really deep valley of depression and anxiety while ALSO adjusting to college life. Definitely was a wake up call that I do still need my meds at the moment, but that that's okay because it helps me be the best version of myself right now, and that's all I can ask of it.
I am a Christian and I took Zoloft after I gave birth in June last year. There are a lot of folks in the church who might be shocked. But guys. I was. a MESS. I was *sobbing* in my doctor’s office and when she suggested medication, it felt like someone threw me a life preserver in a raging sea. I thanked the Lord for the medicine because it kept me from drowning during that time. I am so grateful for that medicine, and for the Lord for providing it through my OB. ❤️
tortilla talk: not a question but i have been watching you for 7 years now. miranda included. and i have never watched someone as real and honest as you. your videos and vlogs help me to not feel as alone as i seem. im currently struggling with anxiety, depression, and adhd and trying to accept the fact that i do need medication and hearing you talk about it has made me realize i need to take that step in my life. i love you so much colleen and im extremely proud of all you do!
I'm extremely grateful that you share your honest and true feelings on literally anything. I personally haven't taken medication for depression myself but I relate to feeling that it's hard to admit that something like depression is a reality when you've been taught to pray it away through religious stuff and how you said when you feel that little bit of happiness that makes you feel bad for taking antidepressants, i totally get that
Tortilla talk question: do the babies have anything that they’re weirdly particular about? (Way they’re held, way they’re given their food, ect)
i'm not postpartum, but i have taken anxiety medication for over two years and at first i had the same experience of feeling like i don't want to need the medication. eventually, i realized how worth it and helpful it was and how getting help is actually incredibly empowering. but it does take some adjusting at first. sending love to y'all !!
Colleen, I feel you so much. When you talked about anti-depressants I related to it 100%. I was at the doctor's yesterday and they prescribed me anti-depressants. I still haven't decided to take them out, because I feel the same way as you. Never viewed myself as a person who would take them. And perhaps no one does? I haven't completely decided yet, but the way you talk about it makes me feel a lot less alone. Thank you for talking about it in a way that makes so much sense. Even though it can feel like it doesn't. Love you
I just want to say, thank you for everything but also thank you for talking more in depth about your depression and anxiety today. As someone who was recently diagnosed with both and have been battling it for a few months, you made me feel a lot less alone tonight and I just genuinely can’t thank you enough for that. You inspire me everyday Colleen, thank you for being you and being here doing what you are💗 I appreciate you and your family more than you’ll ever know🤍
Tortilla talk: not a question but just want you to know that I cannot express how but these vlogs just make me so happy,I relate to you so much (personality wise) and I'm only 13, just wanted to say thank you for continuing to vlog
same here
18 here
Exactly the same for me!!
@@bunnybangz so she can see it
same for me!!
Tortilla talk : Colleen, you have made my day aggressively better every single day. I listen to your podcast every single day while working and I have laughed and been on the verge of tears at least once per episode. Love you so much and just now you are changing the world one video/podcast at a time :)
After being diagnosed with anxiety and depression I found it hard to tell a lot of people in my life because, to me, it was admitting that I was struggling and we just don't do that. I didn't want to be judged by people who I assumed all thought 'what has she got to be anxious and depressed about?'. However I had no issue with telling people I didn't know that well that I was suffering.
My biggest challenge with accepting it was that I have done numerous courses and a lot of research on mental health and know all about anxiety and depression from a medical or scientific background or whatever, yet didn't recognise it within myself. I knew what anxiety and depression consisted of, in general as everyone is different, but didn't believe that I was someone who was like that because I was known as the happy bubbly girl!
Thankfully we live in a time where more people are open about their mental health struggles so we don't have to wonder in silence if we're the only ones going through something, but sadly grew up at a time where you didn't admit out loud that there is a problem so it's just an extra thing to battle.
When you were talking about depression and anxiety meds... I literally was at a doc appt today and was explaining those exact words to my doc... About being brought up to just suck it up, this is just a phase you'll get though. I am so afraid of getting addicted to something or being a zombie mom. And I know right now that I'm having issues because my dad is at the end of his life, and it's alot emotionally and physically. Keep telling myself I'll be fine later. But a new doc today told me it's OK to have help with meds, it doesn't need to be forever.
Maisy smiling was so precious! With everything that’s going on today globally would make a lot of people have episodes of depression between the pandemic and the situation in the Ukraine. It’s okay to be on meds if they help you feel better and no one should stand in judgment of that. When your doctors and counselor tell you it’s okay for you to wean off the meds then do so under their guidance. We will always support you no matter what, Colleen.
Tortilla talk question without you revealing anything too personal are there any fond memories of you either when you were growing up or as a young 20 something that you could share with us?
Tortilla talk question: Does Flynn use the secret door that is in between his and the twin's room?? Has he come up with any games with the door or does he call it anything fun???
I just want to thank you for being so open & honest about your postpartum journey, especially with the NICU, PPD, & therapy. I’m 6 week postpartum with a baby in the NICU still and it’s encouraged me to reach out and start going to therapy ♥️
I remember this feeling when walking to the pharmacy like " oh, seems like I am a person with depression and am really struggling". In the end ( this is now more than two years ago) its has been the best decision for me and I'm living now my best life without any medications. You are very brave to talk abbout this openly!
I really relate to you with regards to the depression and having to take anti-depressants. I think it's just a tangible reminder that you have depression and it's hard to admit. Just like you said...there is a stigma and society tends to look down on people with depression. Luckily it is getting better and more awareness is out there. You are so strong and you give me so much inspiration. I love how transparent you are about everything. It's one of the qualities that I think so many people love about you.
colleen, accepting part of yourself health wise, whether it’s mental or physical, is SO hard and i’m so glad that you spoke how you do get sad, and you do sometimes think “why do i have to take this? i wish i didn’t have to take this to be okay” and like you said, acceptance is the hardest part. as someone with both mental and physical issues that i need medication for both, it’s refreshing to hear i’m not alone in sometimes being negative and feeling sorry for myself. love you and your family colleen ♥️
EDIT: “praying the mental health away” is something so many people think and so many religious people think that mental health issues aren’t real.. 😅
Colleen, listening to you talking about needing to take medication for depression and how you started to cry caused me to start crying. I too take medication for depression and thought the same thing and foolish me went almost a week without my medication and was in the worst shape ever. I cried for hours every day. I didn't want to be with anyone including my partner. and even at my lowest point i contemplated hurting myself. Not to worry i am good now and I will never stop my medication again. You are freaking amazing. thank you for being you :) love from Canada
@@irnamaa__1713 tyvm 💜
Tortilla talk: Will you talk to your kiddos when they’re older about mental health? Growing up I was ashamed about having depression but the older I got the more I understood. Also hope everything is well, & Netflix has a show called Trash Truck with a little boy who looks JUST like Flynn!!
I completely understand how you feel, Colleen. That brought tears to my eyes because I can relate. I take a depression med and an anxiety med every day, and sometimes before I take them I break down and cry. I question why I need them. I wish I didn’t. But they help. And I’m thankful for that. It’s hard. You’ve got this Colleen!
It took me trying so many different medications for anxiety and depression and when I started the one I’ve been on for three years I refused too. I was so tired of side effects and panic attacks and I felt exhausted from trying. My doctors had to have a long talk with me about how important it is to take it every day and it takes time to help. I am so glad I listened because I’m so much happier today. I really hope you can have the same ❤️ Medication is daunting and it’s hard to talk about especially for depression. I felt embarrassed and ashamed at first but talking about it has helped so many people I know. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Ugh yes!!! My mom is someone who doesn't believe in medication for mental health and I don't think she realized how much I needed it until she saw me crying and not leaving my room for 2 weeks straight. She would say just pray and pray and I'm like I can't function. Medication has helped so much. I can actually go outside and it feels great.
Colleen I’ve been watching your videos for a while and I can say with confidence you’re doing the best you can. Remember to be patient with yourself and know that you’re doing better than you’re feeling 💜
I can absolutely relate. I was diagnosed with a Panic Disorder back in 2018 and I had been fighting really debilitating panic attacks with the hopes that they would just go away or that I could be “strong” and handle it. I would get well-meaning advice to avoid meds and to try natural remedies. It got to the point that I had to accept that I needed medication. The way my doctor explained it was “If you were told you had a physical illness, like high blood pressure or diabetes , would you take medication? Having depression or anxiety is an illness. You are taking the medication needed to treat a legitimate illness.”
Although hearing that helped, I picked up my prescription and stared at the pill while crying. In my mind, taking it would make everything feel too real. It was official. But I can say that it has saved my life. It does get better and the medication is just the little boost your brain needs to get back on the right path. Stay strong!
Omg that clip of Maisy smiling when you can really see just how blue and bright her eyes are!! What a cutie pie!!!!
Grew up in church and totally relate! I started taking meds for anxiety when I was 16 and it has been a journey back and forth since. After my first baby I had anxiety to thee point I stayed in bed for a week because if I got out of bed I would have a panic attack. I immediately went back on medication and am soooooo thankful for it! The bible Talks about taking care of our bodies as a temple and this is one way I do.
YES 100% this is how I felt/ still feel sometimes with taking antidepressants. I’ve always been pro-medication but once it was me, for some reason it was soooo challenging to admit I needed it and actually pick up the script and take the pill. Then I went thru realizing I needed to switch meds and that was another hurdle- admitting the first pill wasn’t working! Now I am on a wonderful medication and I have no side effects praise be. But I often catch myself thinking “ugh I don’t want to need this” or “I feel okay now I don’t think I need this” but if I miss a dose it knocks me on my booty and I have to come to terms with the fact that it’s the medication doing it’s job and THATS why I feel okay. Ugh such a roller coaster, I feel you girl. You are not alone!
Something that helps me when taking medication, is I try to remember that if I had a broken leg, it makes sense to take things to help me heal, so it's the same concept with something that's a little chemically off in my mind. It needs to heal and it will, but taking medication to help me is not a bad thing! It can just get so weird because we think of our mind as more connected to our soul, but it is still a physical part of our body and sometimes it can get worn out like any other part of our body.
Colleen, I so appreciate you talking about your struggles with starting on antidepressants. I started them about 6 months ago and was very scared of how it would effect me, and was bummed that I couldn’t work through my problems myself. Cut to now and I can’t believe I didn’t start taking them sooner. They have cleared away the fog and I have become so aware of who I truly am as a person. I hope that they continue to do nothing but good for you, and let the shine in through a little bit brighter ❤️
Yes! Thank you for briefly mentioning being depressed and being in the church. For years I was praying and asking God constantly why he wasn’t helping me. Everyone says leave it at the cross and I couldn’t. I thought it something was wrong with me. Like why couldn’t I give this burden away like everyone told me to. I talked to my pastor about it and he bluntly told me, “God made everyone. Everyone can create things because He made it possible. If you need to medicate, you need to medicate. Your faith isn’t broken. Medicine could be the answer to your prayers and he’s waiting on you to accept it.” We are all built differently and we all coupe and deal in different ways. I know you don’t talk much about faith but I really appreciate you mentioning it time to time. God bless you and your incredible family. Watching your videos makes me feel like I’m FaceTiming my bestie. Lots of love from literally across the country (Maine) 💖❤️
As someone with Chronic Bipolar Depression, who also suffered from PPD/A I WISH I had your strength to admit I need help sometimes. You make me feel so less alone through out my life! You have always inspired me to advocate for myself and my health! Thank you for always being the big sister I never had!
Tortilla talk question: Does Flynn understand that numerous people see him in your vlogs? You are all the cutest and I love you so much queen. 💜❤️
I love how open you are it makes me feel comfortable and I can relate to you with things no one understands. Thank You!
I love how Flynn still is looking at the wrong spot on the camera when he talks to us LOL
changing my perspective on taking my meds really helped me. telling myself things like, i’m getting stronger, my amazing body is thanking me, it’s not a bad thing to medicate a condition and this is no different, it’s only propelling me to a place i used to be. admitting it to yourself is the first step in getting out of it. it’s painful but you’re one step closer. and you WILL get out of it. ☀️🌻🌱🌈🌹🌼
I loved how Flynn jumped in front of the camera with his monster truck. He's so adorable. Flynn's giggle is so cute. Maisy smiling is so cute.
With the world gone mad, this family and the vlogs bring me even more joy😍 Warm hugs to you Colleen🤗
i’ve had a really really bad day and seeing you posted immediately lifted me up, thank you for all you do! we love you colleen
As someone who’s 24 and been on anti depressants since 15 and I still go through phases where I don’t want to take my medication. It’s totally normal but having a little routine around when you take it will make it feel more like self care than something you have to do. I’ve even gone as far as to order fun dispensers online. The hard days will always be there but no they aren’t forever and focus on feeling present while taking them 💗 hope this helps
i just recently started therapy after a couple of years to deal with school and childhood trauma. and medication was brought up and that terrified me. my whole mom’s side of the family struggles with mental health and every single person is on medication but when they said it for me it was an automatic “no i’m fine I don’t need that” accepting that you need it and that it’s okay to need it is a HUGE step. thank you for sharing what you go through. most days I have breakdowns and struggle really bad with overthinking and depression and because of you i have started to accept that I do need meds and that it is okay to take them and it’s not a bad thing.
hi love! two years ago i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and i also do have dermatillomania so watching your videos of how u are struggling and persevering for your family and yourself is tremendously inspiring. as someone who went through the majority of my life thinking that everyone else felt this way, being diagnosed was incredibly difficult for me. being depressed makes simple tasks much harder to accomplish and YOU ARE KILLING IT DAY BY DAY. what i’ve learned is that the healing is a roller coaster, its not linear so dont get angry at yourself for waking up sad and dreading doing some things because u are mentally exhausted. anyway i love u inspire me a lot.
I totally understand what you’re talking about when you mentioned how hard it is to accept that you’re taking medication for depression. I just recently started taking medication for anxiety/ depression and ADHD. I didn’t go to church when I was younger, but my mom would get upset with me whenever I showed sadness or when I wasn’t constantly happy. So growing up I would continue to say that I’m fine until I convinced myself and now all of that is finally having it’s affect. She also thought that depression, anxiety and ADHD meant that something was wrong and said that I wasn’t any of those so I had to pull myself together. I hope this works out for you, you truly are strong and allowed to have “bad” days. Every minute that you’re mad/ sad is a minute that you lose to enjoy life and be at peace. I always have to remind myself of that. It’s easier said than done
Tortilla talk question: does Flynn ever throw tantrums? I know he’s a toddler and toddlers usually do, but he is just so sweet I can’t picture him throwing one lol btw i love you and you are amazing ❤️❤️
Hi Colleen. I've been struggling on and off with depression, anxiety, and potential ADHD symptoms since highschool and I'm 34. It wasn't till about 2-3 years ago that I hit rock bottom and finally asked for help and I agree that it's so so hard to take those pills, especially in the first little bit with the side effects and thinking that the fact that I couldn't deal with it myself somehow made me weak. It's helped me to think of it this way...you get a cast for a broken arm, you get surgery for organs that aren't functioning right, you take pills for a brain that doesn't produce enough serotonin or dopamine and that's totally ok. I have to remind myself constantly that it's like taking a vitamin for my brain...it makes me function properly and that's the most important thing. You are doing what's right for you, your family and those babies. Keep on keeping on, I know it can be so so hard but you've got this. Sending love from Ontario, Canada.
As a therapist- I see clients weekly who have this mental block in admitting they need some help from an antidepressant for their depression/anxiety. It’s something we process and work through by breaking down the stigmas placed on mental health related medication and acknowledging the lack of stigma there is on other very necessary meds people take (high blood pressure meds, insulin, etc). Like you said, it can be a hard pill to swallow in admitting you need that extra help, but it’s one that we try to shift our thinking about- finding a moment to be grateful these things exist and are here to help us get out of the pits of anxiety and depression that can happen in life. 💕 thanks for talking about it- it’s so needed!! And you are SO not alone in thinking this way.
I put off medication for so long to the point where I convinced myself I had a hormone imbalance, because for some reason that seemed more justifiable than having anxiety and depression. When I saw my Gyno, she put it so well… she said “you just need a little bit of serotonin and we’re gonna give you that.” She made me truly realize it was a chemical imbalanced for the first time, something completely out of my control and not my fault. That change of mentality along with the medication has truly saved me.
Hi Colleen, I'm just listening to you talk about not wanting to take antidepressants and I just wanted to share a little story. I was 16 when I was diagnosed with depression, took antidepressants for maybe 6 months, and stopped when I decided I didn't need them anymore (I don't recommend this). Near the end of 2019 I was struggling and had been for YEARS so my doctor put me back on antidepressants. It wasn't until I had a mental breakdown at the beginning of 2020 that a doctor finally realized how bad my depression was, changed my antidepressants, and also put me on antipsychotics and anticonvulsants. I can't tell you how much better I feel. I know what it's like not wanting to take medication and worrying about not being yourself. I have never felt more myself than I do when I'm fully medicated and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to take something that makes me feel better. Remember that it's likely not forever, you do need a little help right now, and the meds allow you to function and be more yourself. You aren't a depressed person, you are a person who has post-partum depression. You're not alone and you got this ❤
Ahhh I love this ❤️ I came here to say something similar. Mine was a second tier dosage of an anti depressant and a medication typically used for narcolepsy.
Finding the *right* medication made me able to see how chemical/biological the problem was and how I was never going to be able to fix the problem on my own. My brain didn't have the resources it needed to think positively regardless of how hard I tried or how much meditation/yoga/exercise/healthy eating/etc I did. I didn't even know how not myself I was before, my thoughts had been so hijacked by the illness.
Admitting something that people have always looked down upon is really scary. I've been taking anti depression meds since I was 17 (I'm 23 now) and I relate you 100%... its hard to accept in the beginning but it gets less uncomfortable (I won't say easy cause nothing about this easy but yeah 😅)
Tortilla talk question: what is your favorite part of being a mom and what’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned as a mom after having all three of your babies. absolutely love your family and these videos, keep up the amazing work!! 🥰❤
Thank you Colleen for talking about your mental health!It helps me feel less alone.I've faced mental health stigma with a friend and a doctor in the past,an it's so hard to have so few people in my life I feel I can be fully myself with,and be open about the struggles I have with depression,an anxiety.I've got way to good at pretending I'm okay.You're amazing Colleen!
I COMPLETELY related to the depression conversation Colleen. I struggled greatly with taking anti-depressants in the beginning. I didn’t want to admit I had a problem with depression, I didn’t want medication to change my personality (even though I didn’t want to be sad either). I was afraid that all of the emotions I had would become bland and I wouldn’t really feel anything anymore. I once heard someone say that taking anti-depressants is like wearing floaties in the pool. Some people need them to stay afloat and there’s nothing wrong with needing some help to keep your head above water. Anyways love you! Keep being the incredible mom and human you are! 💜💜💜💜
They make a soft plastic nipple guard thing that catches any leaking milk! Especially if you leak enough to need pads, I’d recommend looking into that. It was amazing how much milk I was losing into pads and throwing away.
Tortilla Talk Question: Hey Colleen! My name is Jasmine and first off I wanted to say that you’re doing an incredible job as a momma to Flynn and the twins! I know this is into the future, but when the time comes do you intend to let Flynn attend preschool and up or to be homeschooled? By the way, I hope today wasn’t too rough of a day for you & Erik; you guys have been rocking it! ❤️
Colleen, never feel like you can’t show your true emotions or be vulnerable on here. We all love and support you, especially the journey you’re facing! Love from Ivy❤️🌈🏳️🌈
im so happy you shared your experience with medication, I have the same feeling everyday where I don't want to take my medication to feel "normal" and to hear from someone I look up to really encouraged me so thank you so much
as someone who has tried 3 different antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds with no results, please take advantage of this opportunity and don’t feel ashamed or bad. everyone’s brain chemistry is different, and meds may work wonders for you. i used to feel the same defeat when i was prescribed all of them (independently, at different times of course) but now looking back i just wished any of them had worked and i realized it was silly of me to think badly of the need to take them. we take meds for when we have colds, or have aches and pains, so taking medicine for mental health is the same thing. nothing to be ashamed of. all the best, colleen 💗
Totally relate. Felt like I was admitting I’m a failure when I finally decided to get on the medication. And some days I also skipped it because I resented having to take it so much. And then I would lay in bed all day and feel like crap anyway. For me it goes in streaks (I think having to do with my hormones and just situations happening in life) where I am totally fine taking it, happy to take it, know it helps me so much. Then other streaks I either have to FORCE myself or my partner has to watch me take it. Or I just don’t take it. The longer I’ve been on it the longer the good streaks last! Proud of you for making the right decision for you and your mental health. It’s worth it for your husband and kids to see you happier and healthier. Love you!
I received a diagnosis of adhd and autism back in November last year and was sent straight to a psychiatrist to go on medication trials. I was extremely nervous about going on medication because of the side effects that I had heard about from the medications I was put on. It took me two weeks to actually gain the courage to take the medication and after taking it, I felt like a different person, like I finally felt how it feels to not have my brain race to a million different places at once, and to have a clear head for the first time in my 22 years on this earth.
I will admit that after I received the initial diagnosis from the psychologist, I saw myself as a completely different person, with a tonne of problems that I never expected. But I have had my family and my best friend (who also has adhd and autism) stand with me and help me get through that mental battle within myself.
Keep going, we are so proud of you Colleen x
every single time i hear the intro, all i can think is, "im vlogging, its boring, im the queeeeennnn" which i love so much 😫
Colleen said in a vlog a while ago that that’s actually how Flynn pronounces her name. He can’t say “Colleen” yet (maybe he can now idk)
@@jaxscales6158 its so unbelievably adorable 🥲
colleen! i have a family member who has been taking anti depressants for over 10 years, and she still feels that every time she need a refill (literally every time) and ultimately comes to the same conclusion every time that she does need it! it’s a struggle that happens, and you are not alone! don’t have much advice, but i hope it helps enough just to know you’re not alone🧡
Social work grad student here…I’m currently learning a LOT in my social work classes. One thing that’s really important to remember is that medication (usually along with talk therapy) can really help people! I’m glad that it’s helping you and I’ve been on SSRIs for over 8 years now for multiple diagnoses like OCD, PTSD, chronic pain, and more. It’s really helped me and I NEED it because when I go off from them I end up feeling really chaotic and don’t feel stable emotionally. So, it can really help and I’m glad you’re doing what’s right for you and your situation. Love from a future social worker! 💛
*Tortilla Talk Question:*
As you're getting to be with the twins more and more, do you think Terri's predictions of their personalities are accurate?
Tortilla talk question: Would Erik be comfortable being in more vlogs? And or be able to take over a vlog for a day? I know both of you have relax but it would be cool to see him in a more day to day setting.
I have been having a very shitty day and seeing the notification made me smile :) Thank you fro continuing to upload almost every day. Love you Colleen.
Lifetime struggler of anxiety and depression here (and relatively recent adhd diagnosee).
For me, when I finally had the nerve to admit that I was struggling and needed chemical help was a game changer. I was 20. 7 years later I came off them to see where I was at and my anxiety almost actually killed me. That’s when I had to come to terms with the fact that I might have to be on meds for the rest of my life.
Now I’m proud to be in meds. I’m proud that, with meds, I’ve been able to put the work in in therapy to heal trauma and all that stuff.
Anyway, I’m proud of you for talking about it and grateful you are sharing your story!! You are strong and amazing. Thank you!
I feel the same way. I’m really struggling but I finally feel brave enough to take my health seriously. It’s the hardest thing to admit. Thank you for being so open. We really need that
Tortilla talk question: does flynn take more of his personality from you or Eric? And who do you think the twins will act like? ❤
Good question!
Tortilla talk: I’ve noticed a subtle red mark on Wesley’s head - is that a birthmark? Do you, Erik, Maisy or Flynn have any birthmarks? Also what friends character are you most like? Love you!!!
My son had a similar mark when he was born. It’s called an angel kiss. It got more red if he cried, got hot, etc. It faded as he got older. My daughter had one on the nape of her neck. Those ones are called stork bites. Same thing, it faded as she grew up. 😀
✨Colleen is literally such a QUEEN✨
I’m literally 13 and not a mom but watch every video and think they are so AMAZING
tortilla talk question : do you ever think of the idea of moving anymore? You had briefly talked about before the twins were born but was just thought💕 love you
I'm 13 also turning 14 in April
Colleen, I've dealt with this too! You are definitely not alone. When I take my meds I take them with the other vitamins or meds I have to take, and I think to myself, "Time to take my brain vitamin!" and it helps a lot. We don't hesitate to take things that are good for other parts of our bodies, but we are so hard on ourselves when it comes to our brains and mental health. Let's all take our brain vitamins and feel better together!
I waited over a year until I started medication, tried every other option I could come up with to give myself the feeling that I could do it “on my own” and “not give in”, which really isn’t what taking meds is about. I can still work on my well-being while taking medication. If you have an upset stomach from eating something bad, of course you would work on eating better things, even if you choose to take a stomach ache pill first. One thing doesn’t exclude the other.
So at some point I boiled everything down to this: a smart next step would be to help my body and spirit produce more serotonin, and that’s also the one thing that depression meds specialize in: To help keep healthy serotonin levels.
Looking at it this way made it so much easier to see it as a purely helpful thing, and it also made me feel like I still had freedom and control over every other aspect that comes with well-being.
I didn’t just “numb the pain” but helped my body get the energy it needs to invest into healing itself. The end goal of it all.
Tortilla Talk Question: I got cast as the lead role in my school musical. What is your best method for memorizing lines? Also do you have any advice when it comes to getting nervous before a performance? Lol sorry it is so unrelated to everything else but I really look up to you with your acting and singing. I love you! 💕
~Jenna