I remember the day that I looked in the mirror as a little girl and I realized that no one loved me. I realized that something must be wrong with me. That day, something in me broke. I just discovered C-PTSD today. It describes everything I've been struggling with for years and years and it's just getting worse. It's really affecting my life. I'm glad I found you. Where can I get help when I can't afford it?
I remember a situation when I was about 7 years old where I thought I was going to die but the adults around me were laughing. I didn't know if I even had the right to feel frightened let alone fight for survival. I would like to say that was the birth of my belief that I was expendable, that my only value was in my ability to entertain or be useful to others, but it wasn't the birth of that belief. It was merely the clarification of it. Anyway...I've been through a lot of counselling but know that I have to actively work on myself, too. I feel as if I've stumbled across a gold mine with this series. Thank you for making so much valuable information free and accessible to all who need it.
I kept dissassociating while watching this (so i had to go back a lot of times) but that's partly how i know that this is deeply insightful, accurate, and helpful. Definitely looking forward to watching the rest of your videos in this series
Morning! I am so excited to share this series and hope you will find it helpful. I truly believe that "I am bad" is one of the hardest parts of healing our lives, when we come from certain childhood/adulthood experiences... If you haven't watched my video on "I Am Bad: Borderline Childhoods," you might find it helpful before beginning this series. !!!!! But you do not need to come from a BPD parent to feel shame or unworthy....so many different experiences in life can reinforce this belief about ourselves. No matter who you are, or where you came from or what you struggle with - you are worthy of being healed and whole. As always, thank you SO MUCH for watching, sharing and subscribing - I am deeply grateful.🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️
My worthlessness seems to show up quite a bit. I feel incompetent and like half a real person haha. I feel imposter syndrome that I didn't really work for my life and I just married a wonderful man who earned it all. That's how my shame shows up. I feel undeserving. I even sometimes feel that my husband would have been so much happier married to one of our friends. It's weird because I don't consciously think that I'm bad but those sneaky thoughts I catch myself thinking is what reveals it. Social media also makes it so much worse. The constant comparison
The spiderweb that all leads back to the core of "there is something wrong with me".....I sound like a broken record on your channel but I feel so validated 😭😭😭😭😭 Thank you Dr Sage 🙏🙏🙏
you have and are completely changing and honestly saving my life. After discovering your videos I finally and to courage to face my own guilt and shame revolving around my mother's mental heath. I had no idea how much shame i had around acknowledging how much she has and is wounding me. yesterday I finally set my foot down, and I feel so incredibly confused, guilty but your videos have helped me feel grounded and heard. Thank you.
I would more accurately say that for me it's never been "I am bad" so much as is being told I was wrong when I thought was right. While that causes definant stress and shame, it's thankfully never been that I'm actually bad person.
Dr. Sage thank you! I’m excited to start this series with you! I actually sent my family to your videos to help them understand my mom. You are truly a light in this dark world of C-PTSD, Childhood trauma and growing up with a BPD mother! Thank you!! By healing these wounds, I am hoping to break the generational curses, and raising my son in a more mentally healthy manner.
Very very interesting about the same being developed at 15 months due to that’s around the time when something traumatic happened to me (I apparently witnessed my father bashing my mother, which is then when my mum left him)
Thank you for your videos and taking the time out of your busy schedule to do them. They are always appreciated and have helped immensely esp this video.
I am looking forward to doing this series. I am on a waiting list for therapy which is 6 months to 1 year long. I have been using my previous diagnosis of sensory processing disorder with CPTSD and anxiety/ major depressive disorder. I found your channel and I am soaking it all in. You understand me better than my previous therapsists. Thank you for these videos!
I am so looking forward to this! I am hoping to get into therapy this year, however, finding someone has been much harder done than said. Thank you for providing something I can do in the meanwhile. Your channel is such a gift
This is really such a diamond this series. Thank you for sharing your insights to understanding this complex world of attachment and trauma and shame 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
For some people it's not necessarily a sense of "I'm bad" so much as an "I'm wrong," "I get it wrong even when I think I'm doing it right," "*they* think something's wrong with me," "I'always mess everything up," etc. Weird stuff!
I have kept a journal for most of my life. I can go back to when I was 11 and know my thoughts at the time. It has helped me to review some of it in my healing journey but some of it is still too painful for me and I cannot go anywhere near it. Looking foreword to this series!
Also you don't get the chance to look at your mistakes and transgressions in a way where you can acknowledge when you do something wrong and learn from or make amends for. I was rage fully and cruelly told and came to believe that I was bad and disgusting for having basic needs for my mother's love time and attention. Also for crying and not being able to act and be perfect and already know how to behave. There was no room to be a child that needed patience and guidance.
It would be good if you had your own journal for me to buy (not a blank notebook), All the ideas, your personal instructions etc included would be beneficial
Dr. Kim Sage, I love love your videos. I was wondering, did you make the video about making a journal? I can’t find what you were referring to. Thank you for your page here on youtube!!!
I can't but will work on it! I meant "TH-cam" videos I watched on different channels! I loved the "unexpected gypsy" - it was what inspired me and then I found myself in a rabbit hole of journaling on TH-cam at 3am - lol. I like the art journal ones and I don't know if the other ones have clinical backgrounds - but I hope to also expand my journal prompts resources. If you also find some, please share too and I will keep working on it! 🙏🏻💕🌺
I don’t agree that shame always means people feel the abusers were good and they are bad. It often is not about it. Ppl can see their worth but know that this happened to them and nothing can change it because Past has affected their lives ; let’s say they never had a good mother. Alas I think saying that you wouldn’t understand because if you had you had covered it…
Sometimes I also have trouble with the way these concepts are put into words. I hope this will help: To blame someone or something we have to believe that they could have done things differently. You would get angry with me if I threw water on you but if you got wet in the rain because you didn't check the forecast you wouldn't get angry with the rain. But you might get angry with yourself. For a small child, their caregiver is just as much a force of nature as the weather, we can't tell the difference when we're that young. So we blame ourselves.
I remember the day that I looked in the mirror as a little girl and I realized that no one loved me. I realized that something must be wrong with me. That day, something in me broke.
I just discovered C-PTSD today. It describes everything I've been struggling with for years and years and it's just getting worse. It's really affecting my life. I'm glad I found you. Where can I get help when I can't afford it?
CoDA & ACoA
Did you find resources to help?
I remember a situation when I was about 7 years old where I thought I was going to die but the adults around me were laughing. I didn't know if I even had the right to feel frightened let alone fight for survival. I would like to say that was the birth of my belief that I was expendable, that my only value was in my ability to entertain or be useful to others, but it wasn't the birth of that belief. It was merely the clarification of it. Anyway...I've been through a lot of counselling but know that I have to actively work on myself, too. I feel as if I've stumbled across a gold mine with this series. Thank you for making so much valuable information free and accessible to all who need it.
I kept dissassociating while watching this (so i had to go back a lot of times) but that's partly how i know that this is deeply insightful, accurate, and helpful.
Definitely looking forward to watching the rest of your videos in this series
I've been doing journaling for decades and it's helped save my life and heal. Thank you for making these videos. It's a labor of your love.❤
Morning! I am so excited to share this series and hope you will find it helpful. I truly believe that "I am bad" is one of the hardest parts of healing our lives, when we come from certain childhood/adulthood experiences...
If you haven't watched my video on "I Am Bad: Borderline Childhoods," you might find it helpful before beginning this series.
!!!!!
But you do not need to come from a BPD parent to feel shame or unworthy....so many different experiences in life can reinforce this belief about ourselves. No matter who you are, or where you came from or what you struggle with - you are worthy of being healed and whole.
As always, thank you SO MUCH for watching, sharing and subscribing - I am deeply grateful.🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️
My worthlessness seems to show up quite a bit. I feel incompetent and like half a real person haha. I feel imposter syndrome that I didn't really work for my life and I just married a wonderful man who earned it all. That's how my shame shows up. I feel undeserving. I even sometimes feel that my husband would have been so much happier married to one of our friends. It's weird because I don't consciously think that I'm bad but those sneaky thoughts I catch myself thinking is what reveals it. Social media also makes it so much worse. The constant comparison
The spiderweb that all leads back to the core of "there is something wrong with me".....I sound like a broken record on your channel but I feel so validated 😭😭😭😭😭 Thank you Dr Sage 🙏🙏🙏
you have and are completely changing and honestly saving my life. After discovering your videos I finally and to courage to face my own guilt and shame revolving around my mother's mental heath. I had no idea how much shame i had around acknowledging how much she has and is wounding me. yesterday I finally set my foot down, and I feel so incredibly confused, guilty but your videos have helped me feel grounded and heard. Thank you.
I would more accurately say that for me it's never been "I am bad" so much as is being told I was wrong when I thought was right. While that causes definant stress and shame, it's thankfully never been that I'm actually bad person.
Dr. Sage thank you! I’m excited to start this series with you! I actually sent my family to your videos to help them understand my mom. You are truly a light in this dark world of C-PTSD, Childhood trauma and growing up with a BPD mother! Thank you!! By healing these wounds, I am hoping to break the generational curses, and raising my son in a more mentally healthy manner.
Thank you - so proud of the work you are doing! I know it's not easy and I deeply appreciate you sharing!🙏🏻🙏🏻
Very very interesting about the same being developed at 15 months due to that’s around the time when something traumatic happened to me (I apparently witnessed my father bashing my mother, which is then when my mum left him)
I guess it also helps explain why my mode I got to is freeze
Thank you for your videos and taking the time out of your busy schedule to do them. They are always appreciated and have helped immensely esp this video.
I am looking forward to doing this series. I am on a waiting list for therapy which is 6 months to 1 year long. I have been using my previous diagnosis of sensory processing disorder with CPTSD and anxiety/ major depressive disorder. I found your channel and I am soaking it all in. You understand me better than my previous therapsists. Thank you for these videos!
I am so looking forward to this! I am hoping to get into therapy this year, however, finding someone has been much harder done than said. Thank you for providing something I can do in the meanwhile. Your channel is such a gift
Thank you so much - I deeply appreciate you!🙏🏻
This is really such a diamond this series. Thank you for sharing your insights to understanding this complex world of attachment and trauma and shame 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Brilliant video, thank you so much for your insight and validation.
Greetings from Australia. Thank you, Dr Sage. I am loving your clips. Life changing xo
For some people it's not necessarily a sense of "I'm bad" so much as an "I'm wrong," "I get it wrong even when I think I'm doing it right," "*they* think something's wrong with me," "I'always mess everything up," etc. Weird stuff!
WOW! my eyes started leaking right after the audio started! im flustuered! its not even a minute into the video.
I have kept a journal for most of my life. I can go back to when I was 11 and know my thoughts at the time. It has helped me to review some of it in my healing journey but some of it is still too painful for me and I cannot go anywhere near it. Looking foreword to this series!
Too badly wanted to heal my own inner kiddo , love myself so damn to the point 💘
Your videos are timeless. I’ve been watching you since November/ December 2023. You are teaching me so much and I am eternally grateful 🥹🫶🏾
Also you don't get the chance to look at your mistakes and transgressions in a way where you can acknowledge when you do something wrong and learn from or make amends for. I was rage fully and cruelly told and came to believe that I was bad and disgusting for having basic needs for my mother's love time and attention. Also for crying and not being able to act and be perfect and already know how to behave. There was no room to be a child that needed patience and guidance.
💜
It would be good if you had your own journal for me to buy (not a blank notebook), All the ideas, your personal instructions etc included would be beneficial
This is a great idea! I will look into it! I am making the next journal video in the next day or so - thank you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Dr. Kim Sage, I love love your videos. I was wondering, did you make the video about making a journal? I can’t find what you were referring to. Thank you for your page here on youtube!!!
Can you recommenced any good journaling websites for your off days?
I can't but will work on it! I meant "TH-cam" videos I watched on different channels! I loved the "unexpected gypsy" - it was what inspired me and then I found myself in a rabbit hole of journaling on TH-cam at 3am - lol. I like the art journal ones and I don't know if the other ones have clinical backgrounds - but I hope to also expand my journal prompts resources. If you also find some, please share too and I will keep working on it! 🙏🏻💕🌺
I don’t agree that shame always means people feel the abusers were good and they are bad. It often is not about it. Ppl can see their worth but know that this happened to them and nothing can change it because Past has affected their lives ; let’s say they never had a good mother. Alas I think saying that you wouldn’t understand because if you had you had covered it…
Sometimes I also have trouble with the way these concepts are put into words. I hope this will help: To blame someone or something we have to believe that they could have done things differently. You would get angry with me if I threw water on you but if you got wet in the rain because you didn't check the forecast you wouldn't get angry with the rain. But you might get angry with yourself. For a small child, their caregiver is just as much a force of nature as the weather, we can't tell the difference when we're that young. So we blame ourselves.