My Female Autistic Traits Part One
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 พ.ค. 2024
- Hello lovely viewers~ On this week's episode of The Thought Spot I get into some of the traits I have as a woman with Autism. The list is long and endless and if it were up to me I could sit here for hours going over all of my autistic traits. But for the sake of keeping these videos as short as I can possibly make them while being mindful through my reflections, I kept the list at a minimum today. But don't be disappointed! I will continue this video in multiple parts in the future, this is just Part One. Thank you for the people who took time out of their day to listen to these episodes, leave thoughtful comments, like the video, subscribe, or even reach out. I appreciate you guys so much🧡
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"This tastes how _____ smells" is also one of my signature phrases! It never fails to confuse people...
Me too.
I say this too 😂
me 2 lol
Same!!
Same lol
Same with the audio stim. I listen to TH-cam about 4-6 hours a day. I feel "missing limb" syndrome if I don't have my auditory stim.
Exactly!!
Same here!
How is that different from simple addiction? A lot of people watch TH-cam but are not autistic. Just bored with their life. I’m asking because I cannot figure it out for myself.
@@SaveTheWorld2022 that's a lot to describe. I have a few videos detailing my traits that my explain it more if you wanted to check them out. It requires a combination of traits. This is a great question though.
@@NeurodiverJENNt hi yes that would be great, thank you! Could you send me the link to it perhaps?
I find laundry rooms to be so comforting. The sound of the washing machine and dryer, the smell of laundry detergent... and often I have found that laundry rooms have the perfect color palette.
Often laundry rooms are painted in blue/white/grey colors, very soothing to look at, in my opinion. 😌😊
When I was young, around six or seven I loved going to the laundry room of the place where we lived. That smell was the best smell I could think of then and the whole room was somehow very comforting to me. I remember the smell being very particular and quite soft, not migraine inducing like nowadays laundry detergents. I kinda went there secretly because adults didn't like little kids hanging around their clean laundry. I haven't really visited laundry rooms as an adult so I don't know if they would still have the same effect on me as an adult.
I also remember two other smells that were my favorites as a kid, although they are a bit weird. I liked the smell of the Camel cigarettes my grandfather smoked. Now, as an adult I detest cigarette smoke. I also liked the smell of gasoline as a kid. Kinda like it still as an adult.
I fell asleep in the laundry room a few times when I was younger. I thought it was comfortable also.
Yes I liked going to the laundrette (as it is called in the UK). I used to think of it as a nice treat when other kids used to get bored. Apart from the comforting smells and it's warmth, I loved helping my mum fold the sheets and towels 😊
Omg, same!!!
Dude you need to play laundry simulator on roblox, it’s the best lol 😆
Not sure I’ve ever related so much to another person, this is so wild. Especially what you said about your moral compass and authenticity. People think I’m being immature or that I don’t see nuance, but I think I just see through the bullshit they’re telling themselves sometimes. Anyway, this was very validating, thank you!!
yes I think we can see through bullshit because we are looking for truth everywhere... thing is, we don't often trust ourself, or feeling about this person until it is to late
I’m very sensitive to smell as well. As an adult, I’ve been able to channel this in my career, being a cook/chef. I’m excellent at identifying and recreating “taste memories” for others in creating dishes. Thank you for this video, I resonated a lot with it.
I hope this isnt offensive but I just thought of ratatouille but the rat actually symbolizes the autistic side of the chef 😂 like I immediately visualized that haha!! 😝
@@tessarae9127 Omg I love this--what a fun way to rewatch the whole movie!!!
Wow using it as a super power. I think I might be hyposensitive to smell. I have to basically decide I want to smell sometimes to really get any smell. I mean I do sometimes notice a bad smell or even like flowers on the table if there's a breeze I will smell. I've noticed people with overpowering cologne or perfume but yeah I remember lots of times people saying a certain person smells bad but I do not notice anything.
I superrr relate to the not wanting to be cold in transition of showers and just generally changing for the morning. It can make me skip a shower or a bath on occasion. So now I rely on my space heater and preplanning I suppose
Me, too! Thankfully, my husband is also autistic so he doesn’t even blink an eye when I move the space heater in there.
I've never met anyone who did the same "smelling" thing with their blanket before and I'm 35. Ahhhh!!! This makes me so excited 😂😂😂 I used to hide it from anyone who wasn't immediate family until I was with my husband. But omg this makes me feel so at home in my own skin/meat suit!!!! ❤
Also the house smell - if I wore a hoodie or some other article of clothing to someone's house and it had their weird house smell, I'd have to keep washing it over and over until I couldn't smell it any more. Would drive me wild since I usually had a favorite hoodie and it would be difficult to part with it while washing and drying it.
And then no matter how many times you wash it THE SMELL STILL NEVER COMES OUT. At least, I’ve had a few things like that.
Me too! same with my blanket I hated it when my mum managed to get it from me n wash I rubbed it Round the floor my bunny blanket I wouldn't sleep without it anything to get it back to how it smelled before it wore away to shreds after many years
I remember a partner's Dad pulling me in for a hug and then saying to my partner later, "Your Dad smells like you." My partner was like ,"You're pretty much the only person who would ever say that." It was the strangest thing to experience because it was a different person who smelled like my partner. My children smell like my current partner - them and their clothes. They find that it's weird that I notice that.
Thats actually pretty cool you can pick up on that!
The smell of the house ,people their food is soooo true also I'm 30 and i still sleep with my blanky lol i cant live or sleep without as you said the smell, the texture the sense of familiarity....also the black and white morality i agree too people always tell me that I have to be "flexible" in order to survive but i physically can't it hurts so i cut a lot of "friends/jobs" because of that and i feel much better
Yes! When I had my endometriosis surgery a few months ago I immediately went out to buy myself new sensory blankets cause I knew how much comfort they would bring me during recovery! & yes to everything you said about the b&w morality! "flexible" doesn't really make sense in the context of morals imo...you either change with your morals or you stand by them! It's okay to change/transform, but be consistent with it!
Even brining a new plant into my house can freak me out at first because I’ll know there’s a new smell but until I realise it’s the soil I’ll just feel weird, like something isn’t right and food smells make me want to throw up so I have to melt candles and open all the windows till the smell has gone completely and I can gauge my moods by my personal body smells, which are undetectable to others but even certain foods will change my smell. We are weird and wonderful in ways that other people can’t imagine and I think they’re missing out on a huge part of life that we get to experience as our normal and my bs monitor is high and if I’m tired or hungry or I don’t have the energy to mask I’ll say it as it is so I upset a lot of people but I’m only ever telling the truth 🤷🏻♀️we would appreciate it but nt’s can’t deal with truth very well
I recently was diagnosed. I get what you say about the smell of people and their homes. I still have the memory of the smell of certain relatives that I didn’t particularly like. It’s all ages for me, not jus old people, even babies. When I was pregnant the smell was 10x stronger. I could smell if someone near me ate garlic the night before.
I relate very strongly to attachment to specific household items and getting a strong sense of comfort from them. I think for me it also goes hand in hand with also getting a very strong sense of comfort from doing my small rituals (making my iced matcha, getting ready for bed, making my lunch etc) the EXACT same way. I can definitely cope if I can't do it exactly "right" but it's extremely nourishing to me in a way that's difficult to explain when I can do it the way that feels best ✨
I also would taste the smell of my friends’ houses in the food they gave me. It really is a very distinct and specific sensation ! So weird to hear someone else talk about it lol
i make my pb&j like that too! my family is always picking on me for it. Also the cold clothes and cold bathroom thing, they're almost painful. And when my husband tries to do something nice (like make me coffee or breakfast), but he almost never does it "right", but i feel bad saying so.
Wow, the sensory part really hits home, especially how you describe smelling peoples homes and their food and how the same food cant taste the same if it was prepared in a different household...I never knew there were so many people who sensed this things too.
I am not diagnosed with autism but am actively looking into it since I have some concerns and have been noticing some signs.
But sometimes I could smell I person I know in a crowd, or know that a person has a dog just from unintentionally smelling them. No, they dont smell like dogs but it is something very destinguishable, I just cant explain it well. Kinda like leather?
Last month I got some sort of flu and literally on the last day I was feeling sick I lost the ability to smell. I know its temporary and will be back eventually but it has been such a relief not to get stimed and affected by smells. Its slowly coming back now, but I can only tell what the smell is if I press it to my nose, which is a lot more manageable for me.
I 100% feel the moral compass!! I've had a hard time pinpointing what it is exactly but you nailed it- I don't care what someone believes as long as they live that belief. Twofaced people infuriate me!
I completely relate to your coffee cup experience! I have two specific coffee cups, one thicker mug for the colder, cozy days that I only use in Autumn/Winter and one thinner, delicate mug for hotter days that I use in Spring/Summer. I get really uncomfortable if my partner gives me coffee in the wrong cup, I will even pour it out into the correct cup before I can enjoy it 😂
You have no idea how impactful this video is for me thank you, im a 50 year old male with similar traits as you but i could never talk about it.
I feel you with the cold sensitivity. I also have a sensory overload when i run my palms across jeans. I compare that to the feeling of hearing nails on a chalk board
Jeans & leather is the worst :( Jeans are always so rough and cold. Leather retains heat or cold way too intensely & the smoothness of it is so off-putting.
I have it with rough paper napkins
Biting into an apple whole reminds me of a chalkboard 😮
I keep watching more of these types of videos because I think maybe there will be one I don’t relate too, but it’s like someone looking into my soul and actually seeing me every time. I would have never noticed I was different if my daughter wasn’t born boldly different and autistic, because to me she wasn’t different…she was just like me.🥺💕
This is so sweet, this made my whole day 💗 I hope you and your daughter are doing well 🫂
When I smell something, I taste it also. It can be hard at times. I do not like some other people's shampoos and such, and perfumes can really bug me.
I had a favorite blanket for sensory reasons too! I even bought a couple replacements as close to the original as possible because the original now has lots of holes in it and can't deal with being washed on hot repeatedly. The feeling on my face, the smell, even the taste was and is comforting to me. I'm in my 30's at this point 😅 and I still have a favorite blanket.
Thank you for elaborating on the moral compass bit. I feel that is one aspect of autism that never gets highlighted even though it plays such a huge part in how we navigate life and the decisions we make.
💜 feel at "home" listening to this. It's comforting. Never knew until recent that my collective experiences were actually "autistic". I appreciate your presence.
All of my senses are heightened. Agree on the smell sensitivity. Been turned off by people’s scent often. Auditory is same. Need to hear something while I’m doing something so I can focus. I’m also hyper sensitive to the sound others make and if they are loud. Sensory overloads with temperature fluctuations and wetness.
Oh.My.God. The smell thing....! I have to tell you this! I bought a leather jacket (used) from a woman on this used clothing site a few years back. Now, I could see photos of her and the coat in her home (she took the pictures of the coat, and she had a profile picture.) She looked like an ordinary young woman, her house looked clean and neat and tidy and all of that... I got my coat, and I was super happy about it! It was such a nice coat!!
After looking at it trying it on - I started to notice this awful smell. I couldn't say what the scent was; it was like nothing I had ever smelled before. I asked my mom, my partner, the lady next door If they too could smell the horrible scent. They didn't smell anything... I sent it away to the dry cleaner, and a few days later, it came back.
- Still, the awful smell was there!! I asked the same people again. Do you detect any unpleasant odor from this coat? Nope. Nothing. I was stunned! How could this be? I sent it away to the dry cleaner again - but; the odor was still (!) there. I never wore the coat, and this past fall, I simply gave it away to a charity shop in my town.
I have no idea why I can smell things other people can't smell. I seem to hear and smell things other people can't detect. I can also pick up on things (like buzzing sounds, which sounds like sounds that could come from a fridge or something) that other people cannot hear. And really high-pitched sounds too. Same with tastes. I can detect things that other people just don't seem to pick up. However, the strongest sense, I think, is the smell.
All in all, I do know that I am sensitive to most things. Sometimes that is a good thing, and other times it's not. But I guess it comes with being autistic. 😎
Wow. I'm not diagnosed, but I related to every part of this video to the fullest extent. This video is literally my life!
Same here, I'm very confused.
I relate to the majority, I'm scared too
I had a brother in law who was autistic but completely different from me, but after that experience I became more educated then recognized what I was experiencing (youtube creators who are also in the spectrum were explaining what I was trying to figure out. Anthony didn't speak but i learned the most about myself thru him than any other person of my life.
Just came across this. I’m 63, identified with many of those traits; but I was also born with a rare genetic disorder which effects both serotonin and dopamine in a major way…along with having no nails, kneecaps, just 1 kidney..and over a dozen more “invisible” anomalies. I also dealt with a LOT of ab… growing up and well into my adult life. My “mother” has “disowned” me numerous times because “you destroyed my life from the day you were born”. She’d also come back into my life when she heard I was happy or doing well…because I don’t deserve happiness, love or security. My mother was diagnosed with BPD in the 90’s after she attempted to have me committed for refusing to divorce my husband. Because things had gotten so bad and her constant ab… of my father had gotten to a dangerous level..we had some family and friends who helped convince her that she couldn’t commit ME unless SHE underwent some testing. One thing that was almost funny..she told the psych I had worked with off and on since that psych unit first opened (over 15yrs), “Elaine has never worked a single day in her life!” I had also known some of the other medical professionals involved…since I was a teen volunteer at that same affiliated hospital. (Age 12-13..I’d also started working as a nurses aide and phlebotomist at ages 16 & 17 while also working with critters at an animal hospital, co-founding a wildlife rescue at age 17 and keeping up a 3.97 GPA at a college prep private school.). She also told Charlie (psychiatrist) that I was lazy, irresponsible, immature and…mentally challenged..she used the R word. Charlie and others knew things were bad, but because I always tried to downplay my mothers actions and words; they didn’t know how bad until my “mother” proudly told him. When asked about physical things, my mother laughed and said she’d tried to knock out my teeth, many times; but settled on yanking my hair out because she felt no decent man would want a “cripple” with bald spots.
Anyways, that’s a SMALL snapshot of my upbringing which then led to 2 marriages filled with DV…Basically, years of chaos, pain..and mommy dearest always popping in to rub it in and make it worse. Although I cut things off with her well over 10yrs ago..and she’s now 90..nothing has changed. My eldest wanted to TRY and re-establish a bond with her…it hasn’t gone well.
Anyways, partly on my “mother’s” end, partly me going to counseling, I have been diagnosed with probably everything BUT ASD. My wonderful, brilliant late son who passed suddenly 2 years ago next week…CJ was 31, had been diagnosed with “clinical ADHD” at age 3, (I was diagnosed shortly afterwards with the same..was diagnosed in his early 20’s by an American psych working in China (my son spent almost 12 yrs there…and travelled the entire world) when he passed away, I was livid that his “towel” wasn’t in his belongings. I had given CJ an Egyptian cotton/silk towel when he was maybe 13-14. He had ALWAYS had a thing, even as a baby, for needing an ultra soft, preferably light colored, towel or blanket to always have to rub on his face and nose. While he hid it pretty well as an adult, his closest friends knew CJ couldn’t go anywhere without his towel. When he returned to the us in 2019; much of his luggage got lost. He didn’t bring it into the cabin with him because he thought with 4-5 transfers and layovers, he might lose it. He was frantic..so his wonderful friends in China found..what was supposed to be a cashmere/silk shawl, with a dragon embroidered on it. That became is new “comfort” that he didn’t let out of his sight. He got his luggage over 2 months later, his ivory & blue towel was fine. But..apparently, one of his so-called friends or acquaintances who found him, also took anything they thought had value. My daughters and I were devastated.
I believe my diagnoses of ADD (now), CPTSD…And occasional situational depression. After talking to some psych friends..we think I’m likely also on the spectrum. I have the same sensory affinities (MUST have noise! Sleep on ONLY cotton sheets..and my taste, I don’t know if this is ASD OR ADD..but I’m always prioritizing and binging on one food item..it changes after 4-6 months. Currently, it’s pork loin roasts..(I was vegetarian up until this past year). In the past it was something sweet like strawberry banana smoothies, tapioca, or my spice cookies. Then, extra EXTRA Sharp cheese on almond crackers, certain veggies, home baked bread…you get the drift.
I also hyper focus on other things..for about the same length of time…painting, writing, research, the markets, jewelry making, calligraphy (Chinese), learning the language, MANY more.
I can’t currently get any mental health treatment where I live. Me and my girls are trying to move me closer to her so I can get better physical and mental health care. We currently have no psychiatrist within 3 counties (I COULD go to a city 50minutes away..but, I’m also legally blind and don’t drive. Medicare transportation here is spotty and undependable. )
I have a LOT of things getting worse…and all my doctors have moved or retired. Just hoping my name comes up on one of the 8 waiting lists I’m on for senior independent living spaces in my daughter’s city…soon! Having a very hard time just functioning right now.
I had a breakdown and had to leave a church after about 14 months because the teaching was so shallow and people they were very shallow and if you said something that you really thought ( especially controversial subjects) they would just looking at you like they didn’t understand and they looked uncomfortable. Even going to the pastor’s house for lunch felt uncomfortable- he didn’t talk about God or anything deep when we were there. I think we prayed before the meal but other than that it didn’t feel like The way I thought a shepherd of a church would act.
It just felt like everybody went to church to do their part because that’s what you’re supposed to do but I have no idea what they were getting out of it other than doing their duty. It made me want to scream and so I couldn’t go anymore because it upset me so much. It seemed like such a waste of time and energy when you could have deep conversations about things that matter especially at church.
Same, there were huge dramas every time I went because even though I asked politely for more understanding of what they were doing as it didn’t come from the bible, they would turn into badly behaved 2 year olds and even have actual tantrums sometimes. I even went so far as to complain to the head of the church in England but I soon realised that they make it up as they go along and the only thing I can see that it does is make money for the church (I don’t know what they do with it) and make the people who go somehow think they’re better than others because they turn up at church once a week, which I found to be beyond boring and tortuous because they never want to talk about anything to do with God or the bible - I told them they’re no different from non church goers in the way they live their lives and worse because they’re supposed to be representing God, they’re horrible hypocrites and although I like them as people, I can’t go to their church as it’s all lies and they even gossip about people and complain about mundane things as if they’re entitled to better!!!
Sorry you had that experience. Sounds like you need a church where they preach out of the Bible every Sunday. And try to live up to it's ideals, or ask forgiveness when they can't. And teach children to memorize verses.
It comforting to listen to people that literally get it! ❤
I relate so much to most of what you have said in this video, especially the sensory issues of smell and touch - there are certain fabrics I can't handle at all. I can also hear things others can't which is annoying and like you I prefer some background noise when concentrating or it all feels too intense and I get stressed. I hated bathing or showering in a cold bathroom too and would avoid it when I was young. What you said about two facedness really hit home. Many of my current co-workers do it. They complain and are quite nasty about other people behind their back, then they go out to lunch with them like they are best buddies. It makes me feel physically sick and I can't handle it so I have to distance myself from that person. I can't respect them anymore. My sister in law is a church going hypocrite and I can't stand that either, but I am stuck with her lol. I'm new to your channel, and it's so validating to me being 57, undiagnosed and almost at the point of going to my doctor to try to get a formal diagnosis because through your channel and others I have been able to piece together the reasons why all my life it has been so difficult to navigate people, situations and my emotions not to mention my own peculiar ways. Thank you 💛
Being cold and wet is a horrible feeling. I hate being wet any time of year but winter is the worst. I dislike changing clothes as well.
OMG I have that exact smell quirk! Smelling everything that nobody else can even detect! Also the special blanket rubbing/smell thing! Holy crap I thought I was the only one! Not autistic TMK but adhd and I just love all your videos and relate so much and love ur perspective on things
Wow. I had to stop the video three times during the "senses" segment because I was having vivid flashbacks of my childhood, specifically about eating food at someone's house and being like "this tastes the way your house smells"---just, wow.
When you said that you couldn't concentrate without music or noise, I kinda relate, and tbh I actually listen to your videos when I draw and crochet.
Your voice in your videos are really soothing btw. I'm subscribed, my mom is subscribed, and my therapist is also subscribed. they all love your videos, and so do I
My blanket was everything to me as a kid and I would stim with my fingers and lips in a specific way with the edge of my blanket. This is so validating. The smells of specific parts of the blanket also had their own grounding scents.
I had totally forgotten that I had the same shower aversion as a kid that you described. It was just too cold coming out of the shower, and so much sensory overload! Sometimes showering would make me get so exhausted that I'd just curl up in a towel and fall asleep on the floor of the bathroom.
I resonated so deeply with EVERYTHING you have said in so many of your videos and i want to be assessed for adhd as well as autism and you really help me feel valid in doing so rather than feeling like I'm overreacting or crazy which is how i feel when i bring it up to family...
Same❤
I’ve recently been looking into autism because my bestie suggested I may have it and I was able to relate to all of these different traits
It's funny cause today you're my audio stim! I learned that someone talking is helping me doing things that I want to do. For example on the phone I can do so much at the same time if I let myself free of doing whatever I want and still listening.
I also relate about smells ! I have a friend who used to live with his mother and now has moved out, and i told him that i was kinda sad cause i attached the smell of the house to him and the smell was comforting ; the thing is, when i went to visit him in his new apartment, i found back the smell ! So it wasn't the house, it was him. A sort of woody smell (cause he's a luthier), very particular, a little whiff of an old person too and something else.
Recently, i've remembered that when i was a kid, i liked to do things in a specific order and now too. It will bother me if i don't do it in this specific way cause i find it's the best way to do the thing and i'll think over and over that in an other way it's not as well done.
Specific cups and spoons yessss!
Thank you very much for your videos, it's always a pleasure to listen to you. I hope y'all have a good day !
Everything you say about the alignment with yourself makes me really happy for you, since it means you have an healthy self esteem. I never allowed myself such respect in the past, I felt everyone else was right even if I couldn’t understand their motives and logic, so I forced myself into their structures no matter how bad I felt.
The respect for our nature is key.
I think I make the same mistake too. Certain things I will not stand for, I will only let it pass a very small amount before I will have to correct if something isn't right. Like if I saw someone throw something out of there car window I would have a big problem with it, what the hell do u think you're doing littering, would u do that in your house too?
I've said those exact words before - "this tastes like your house smells". People who wear too much perfume/deodorant/body spray are criminal offenders. I'm always surprising my partner by saying something like lettuce or celery has a VERY strong and off-putting smell. As a kid I had a pillow much like your blanket, and would put my nose in it and rub my face on it. Still very picky about pilows and blankets! Sending this to my best friend who has long suspected she may have autistic traits. Thank you for sharing!
I had never heard anyone talk about the smells before. Smell is also my strongest scent. 100% on the food tastes like your house smells and 100% on the certain people and how they smelled and being off put by some people (otherwise nice people) by their smell. I had forgotten about that from when I was little and had NEVER heard anyone else talk abou that.
When you said tasting smells.... yes 100% yes. People always said "that's not a thing" or "don't be overdramatic" but it's a real thing! I'm so glad I'm not alone I've never met anyone else whose experienced this. I hate smells so much that I can go from being super happy and then smelling something bad and instantly be so overwhelmed I get snappy and angry with people because I want it out of my face and mouth.
I have auditory stims but mine is more like 0 voices and pure relaxation music. I can't stand words. I know that sounds odd because I do watch video on TH-cam and stuff but I struggle to do words. I feel like I talk more than I actually want only because "I have to".
The blanket thing and the shower thing I did also. The showering has gotten easier but I still hate getting wet unless it's all at the same time. I can't have my leg wet if everything else is dry or I feel gross and want to vomit.
I find a lot of people say they can't handle cold but for me it's heat. I'm constantly feeling too warm. It's so bad that it makes me physically ill. I struggle to leave my home because if I have a moment where I am to warm I need to be near a restroom or I will be sick all over.
It feels like these things I experience prevent me from having a life at all because if I leave my home I can't feel safe and in control of my health but at home I'm safe. People said 2020 was horrible because they had to stay home but it was the best year of my life and now that things are back to normal I'm having to seek help for severe depression because I want 2020 back so I can feel safe and find a job at home and not be expected to meet people.
The struggle is real. Thanks for the videos and letting me get my thoughts out here ❤
you just unlocked a memory haha. i didnt wear my clothes to bed, but i used to get changed under the blanket because it was so cold and my sister thought i was crazy 😂
The headphones. Changing to a job where they are fine with me having one earbud in while I'm working has changed everything. Music keeps me in a better headspace AND i can still hear questions. And honestly it's easier to be personable with customers cause the music keeps my brain in it's happy place.
This explais soo much, this is just scary! But thanks a lot for this, I always tought I am crazy because ofhers can't feel, hear or smell the things I noticed.
I don’t know why but I got so emotional watching this video. Maybe because I identified deeply with a lot of these traits, even the ocd tendencies but have yet to be diagnosed. I know in my heart this is what I have. It’s just hard when I people I have opened up to about this constantly invalidate me and makes me question myself.
thank you for getting right into it.. can’t wait for more of your content
i can’t explain how relieving this video was for me , it’s validated and explained so much of the things i’m feeling and put them into words
I totally do the spreading thing on bread- I have to. I also am “honest to a fault “ I contributed that to being Sagittarius previously. These videos are so helpful. I also have a monotone voice. Thank you Irene ❤
OMG, the example of peanut butter and toast is extremely real!
I don't like other people making my breakfast because of this detail: BECAUSE OF HOW THE BUTTER WILL BE SPRAYED ON THE BREAD. 🤡
and I hate writing with pens other than mine (I hate how my hand grips, how the letter looks different, etc.)
Omgggg the smells!! I have this! Everything you described with the tasting the smell and being very put off by certain smells. Definitely relate to this whole video, thank you for sharing ❤
Wow this was spot on relatable on every point. Thank you for sharing and making me feel seen. ❤️
About the moral compass, I find it quite interesting. I remember reading somewhere that mentions autistic women can appear to burn bridges and cut off relationships. I do relate to that and was often called cold blooded. The thing is, I don’t like to pretend. So if I feel like this relationship is based on acting and does not truely align with how I feel in the relationship, I have a tendency to cut it out of my life. Another reason I think I do that is because I have very limited resources available so by cutting out unnecessary relationships in my life, I’m able to allocate more resources to areas that I deem worth investing in.
This is soooooo comforting to listen to; I just found your channel, and haven’t read through the other comments entirely but I agree with the ones I saw around the top - and with YOU! So comforting to listen to you ❤❤ (smells are huge for me, too!)
You talking about scent and taste resonated with me so much. Thank you for making this video. ❤️ I haven't been officially diagnosed with autism but I'm dyslexic and have a suspicion that I am also on the autistic spectrum.
I also had a blanket that I did not want to be washed! I never realized it was a stim, but it makes so much sense! I appreciate this video very much ❤
i didn’t know about the background noise options on iPhones and it was such a good surprise!! i love listening to things in the background all day especially when falling asleep. not diagnosed but this helped me anyways!
Thank you so much for sharing this. I can relate so much to your sensory issues. I remember not wanting to eat at my grandma’s house because it smelled weird. Also your ideas on religion are relatable. I could never understand why we went to church as a family but then would go home and be just regular people who yelled and fought at home.
This is a beautiful video. Thank you so much for putting it out there for others. I really appreciate the detail you shared. I am also neurodivergent -- I'm bipolar -- and it is so interesting to me some of the crossovers of sensory particulars.
I am the same about the coffee and the cup in that I am well aware of the way it feels in my mouth, how much coffee it holds, how it retains or doesn't the temperature. At the same time, I like to use a variety of cups because I like those options. Each morning I am very thoughtful about which cup I'm going to use that day. So that is where it's slightly different from your comfort of having just the two. I also had a blanket growing up and was very attuned to the smell and feel of it. However, my favorite thing was when it was fresh out of the dryer because it was warm and soft and staticy and smelled so fresh and clean.
I am definitely keyed into smell -- though I do not perceive smells as keenly as you do. And I am keyed into how items take on the smell of where they have been. What you share is very interesting and I really value hearing about it. I also appreciate what you said about the moral compass. You explained it in such a way that is extremely understandable. Thank you again for this inspirational video and for sharing so openly and positively about your experiences. You are a shining example of acceptance and openness.
Just found your channel. I am so happy to see more and more people on the spectrum making TH-cam videos. Being a female myself, I really appreciate the viewpoint of other females on the autism spectrum. I have subscribed to your channel, and I am looking forward to seeing more videos from you! 🥰
I have a very specific morning routine that aligns with my sensitivity. SO real!
Idk if I have autism or anything, I don't feel like I do, but I relate sooooo much to the smell thing. I'm always telling people this tastes how this other thing smells, or I smell something so strongly that others can't seem to smell. Super accurate what you said
Update: I also suuuuper relate to avoiding the whole coldness after showering thing. I've always hated it and would also wash my hair in the sink to avoid having my whole body feel cold
I can relate to the blanket part I have a teddy bear called Mr. Wow wow since I was 1 and I'm 35. It has a soft part on it's leg that I find very comforting.
I just found you. It's very nice to listen to you.
I relate to some of your traits. Specially morals :)
This was so relatable. I have a mug or cup for all the different drinks I have. There's a hot coffee mug, a tea one, a juice one which should NEVER touch the other two and a protein shake one which is different from the smoothie one. I also agree with the moral compass part, one of the reasons I have a handful of friends all who happen to also be autistic and ADHD. Used to do the clothes thing when I was younger due to hating the feeling of cold clothes against my body. I spend 24/7 needing some type of audio from a podcast because I like the voice of the person speaking to meditation videos since they had soft sounding music or certain artist that create just the right wave length for me to ground myself. I am very picky with textures both with food (I cannot be near a banana it literally makes me gag since I can't handle anything squishy) to clothes (wool? Nope. Need stuff that are polyester) or even seeing something I perceive as the above, for ex if I see something that has too many dots or is black & white I start getting anxious. I am very sensitive to tone of voices and feel best when people are practically whisper near me since it sounds like they are shouting if they talk at a normal volume.
I am very rigid in my way of thinking and need to have things planned out if not I start to panic (which links up to my OCD)
Your issue with being cold as a child was a really a big issue for me too. In addition, the shower was so loud. I remember being terrified of showers, bath faucets, and toilets flushes from an early age.
Being cold is a fear for me. Im sensitive to temperature.
Omg! The thing about the chips smelling like their house, old people, & other smells 😫😭 I literally won’t be able to eat it or drink from it if it smells! 😂 it’s so refreshing to hear this bc I’m the same exact way!!! & shut up, I used to wear my clothes to bed too bc I lived in cold upstate NY 😭. This is so wilddddd!!! The toast, I do that w toast & waffles, & so many other things 😂🙏🏽. & OMGGG the replica ppl!!! & church thing!!! I cannnotttt!! 🤣👏🏽 You’re the first person I’ve ever heard agree with me on how people are two faced and not authentic and aligning w your values 😭🙏🏽💕 Every time I think you’ve shocked me and can’t again, you share the next thing and I’m like WHATTTT! 😳😮 This is me!!! You help me understand myself so much & how all these things I experienced/the way I’ve experienced life, is bc I’m autistic 🤍 The funniest part is I thought everyone did all of these things bc I did 😂 . I’m so emotional, thank you from my entire being! 🥹🙏🏽💕 I never thought I’d find anyone who thinks like me or is like me, and for the first time in my life, I don’t feel like there’s something wrong w me bc I’ve never had a single true friend in my life 😭😭😭 or any friend at all for more than 8 yrs now. I just can’t express how grateful I am. 😢🙏🏽❤️
strongly relate both to the very strong sense of smell and tasting how things smell, as well as needing an auditory stem. That I’ve never really thought about it like that, I listen to TH-cam videos almost all day every day as long as I am not doing work that requires other thoughts, so, for example, as I’m driving, you are my stim.
I relate to all these and it's why I feel I'm undiagnosed with autism and I'm in my late 20s. I smell things others dont. For example, I do diamond art and was living with my mom who was a smoker. I moved out of that house into a clean non smoker house and all my diamond painting canvases are soaked with this heavy tobacco smell that I almost gag. Can't get rid of that smell either. Other people don't even smell what I smell. Sometimes I'll say at work that I smell a strong burning plastic and everyone looks at me like I'm freaking paranoid and crazy. I hate hugs or touching, or crowds. I get comforted in libraries and love the smell of books but I had to change that when my local library renovated and now it's a community center/library and it's not quiet anymore so it overwhelms me. I live stream my art stuff and I have to play white noise nature sounds with lofi or no vocals music. I can't concentrate when there's vocals in music.
That church comment is so true. My great grandma was like this till the day she passed. She was all sweet in church but she was mean outside of church and when we'd do something small she'd go Oh I'll pray for you. She thought people with mental disabilities were sinners, like her own daughter (aka my grandma) and myself. She'd say oh you need to lose weight to me and I go grandma that aint nice.. But yeah I've met a lot of church people who were two faced.
Hey Gorgeous! Thanks for the info. You and I wish you and your channel the best!
Yes, looking forward to part 2.
i want to thank you for making these videos, as a woman who also struggled with a late diagnosis, you helped me be able to realize my meltdowns are more autism related than ptsd related. and helped me find the courage to find a good doctor that would listen and help, im beyond grateful to know im not alone in these feelings i have now❤❤
OMG YES! The food tasting like their house! I didn't know why! This is so accurate omg! I like to spread my peanut butter too, but I cannot eat it toasted. I have to cut my onions a specific way. My friend always laughs at me the way I cut my onion, because if I cut too much toward the center of the onion, I can taste like some bitterness that people dont usually taste? AND THE CUP. yes. there is like a sepcific cup I will eat out of. I do not like new plates and dishes, i have them in my house, but I like to eat out of plastic.
I totally relate to the comfort/satisfaction thing when things are/go your specific way! I have this too, with a lot if things. I recently wondered if those "oddly satisfying" memes might be an autistic thing but found no evidence.
Probably everybody/a lot of people have those traits to a certain degree, but when I compare myself to or ask other people, the degree of comfort/satisfaction with those things is not shared by everyone.
As an autistic and adhd female teenager I actually relate to a lot of these, whenever my grandparents come to visit from the summer I am always interested in their smell. Like I smell their house and I also smell their cat, and it goes the same with other people. I just find it fascinating how people can have such different and unique smells. I also have a sensory stim and always feel the need to watch some of my favorite youtubers, or just listen to your videos! I go to sleep listening to it and it helps me sleep and like you said it helps me concentrate and not stutter when i talk. Your channel is so helpful for me and other people trying to learn about autism or adhd, the most helpful channel i've come across! Love your videos
Thank you for this video! I watched a number of similar videos about autistic traits and yours has familiar to me traits I haven't heard others mentioning, so definitely a food for thought here.
The video could benefit from a better thumbnail though. I almost haven't clicked but the video actually looks and sounds way better than I would have expect based on the thumbnail.
It's funny because I didn't realize its called auditory stim. I currently have brown noise on as I watch this video. I find I need sound layers to concentrate if that's not so, I find my brain trying to over analyze what's being said instead of taking it in or sometimes, bored to death.
Your voice is also really soothing and I could listen to you all day.
The moral compass part really struck a cord... I work with game design and the industry right now has, to put it plainly, a lot of garbage that is obviously made to make you addicted to microtransactions and instant gratification. I've been offered plenty of freelance jobs here and there, but a lot of projects didn't align with the kind of thing I would be ever proud to tell the child/teenager/young adult I was in the past, so I recused them. Right now I'm struggling financially somewhat, and I am working on my own project on my spare time, but I go to sleep with a clear conscience. That, more than anything, makes my mind feel calm and clear when I wake up to tackle another day, no matter how difficult things may get.
OMG! When you say other peoples food tastes like how their house smells. Everyone thinks I’m weird when I say that but it’s very distinct for me.
First time viewing your content! Wish u more visibility 💕
I relate to most what u said, glad you found your truth and tnx for helping others do the same 💐
Me too :) I’m a new subscriber
The blanket!! I remembered mine the other day. The way you described it is EXACTLY how I would describe and use mine. I actually had it til I was about 27 until I lost it . I am actually thinking of seeing if I can find one the same.
I remember one teacher in my elementary school having an awful coffee breath. When they came by my desk to look at my work I could not concentrate on anything besides that smell. I love the smell of coffee, but coffee breath makes my skin crawl to this day. I think some of my poor school success in elementary school was due to that teacher and their coffee breath. I didn't hear what they were saying to me because the smell was all I could handle.
I can so relate to the coffee breath teacher at primary school. She was addicted to it and drank it through the lesson too. No wonder I could never understand what she was explaining in maths!
The auditory thing hit hard when I didn't have a means of listening to anything as I walked. Pretty sure walking and looking at nature is a big thing for me so not having that made me feel like my world was upside down. Then you mentioned the shower thing and it makes SO MUCH SENSE. I like the feeling of being in the shower but I hate the act and the shock of it at first and if I'm really upset it's just too overstimulating, which can either be a distraction or a burden. Baths are my absolute favourite and now I understand why.
I just followed your podcast and feel super happy❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ THANK YOU❤❤❤❤
Zen day all day babe✨I have my meditation sounds playing constantly in the background!
I resonate with this whole video, thank you 😊 👍💓
I think… in watching this video I’ve had a major breakthrough. There was a time in my life about 8 years ago that I spend a lot of time thinking about and missing - mostly missing the person I was - and I’ve thought a lot about what it is I miss about that time. I just realized… it was a period in my life where I spent a lot of time alone. I definitely was in the throes of an eating disorder, and I don’t miss that and some of my obsessions, but I just realized that in spending so much time alone, I was able to stim! I was able to do so much of my life how I wanted to do it and how it felt best. This is why I’ve been feeling nothing but CHAOS for years. I had lost some the things that bring me comfort, somehow. I know routine is huge for me - and I haven’t had one in a while. It’s been killing me! I’ve been researching autism a lot lately and paying a lot of attention to my Self, my inner Self. It all resonates so hugely and while I am pursuing a talk with my doctor in a few weeks (she’s AMAZING btw, and helped me with my adhd diagnosis a year ago), even just researching it has allowed me to accept parts of myself that much more. And feel the magic again!! The magic that is ME! It feels like a breath of fresh air!
On another note, I resonated with a lot of this. I lost my partner in 2019 (which understandably is what fully RUINED my routine and is still what I am working to reestablish) and one of the saddest things was the moment I realized I would never smell “our” smell again. Sorry to be a bummer! But smell is a big one for me too!
First of all so sorry you lost your partner. I can relate to everything else you just said and have been thinking the same myself. It makes perfect sense.
You unlocked a memory for me. I totally remember being able to taste peoples' houses in their food, and in one friend, her tap water, very distinctly. I never would have guessed it could be related to autism, thats so interesting!
❤❤❤❤❤ As my mom told me for me x needing headphones that without them and music would be…”disastrous”😂
your channel was randomly recommended to me and I relate strongly to about half of these things... esp about smelling old ppl 😮 i haven't been diagnosed before but listening to your video has me thinking i should
Oh God, my partner always asks me “which cup now babe?” And “which plate now babe?” Because they know that every specific moment I have The Right Cup and The Right Plate to use. And those “coffee only” cups! Obviously I just can’t drink tea from them! Because it’s not right! Oh my goodness… I feel so validated watching your videos 🥰
Hi. I related to everything you described except the smells. I don’t think I’ve ever had a good sense of smell and now it’s even worse. I wonder if that has to do with my nasal allergies and the medications I’ve taken, but I digress. I found it very interesting when you spoke of your blanket. I was the same as you only textural rather than scent. I had actually forgotten how much I relied on that for most of my childhood. I carried that blanket with me *everywhere* for so long that eventually my mom cut a piece off for me to take with me so people wouldn’t easily notice my security blanket, as it was called. (Looking back, I’m sure my mom was also on the spectrum.) I also had a stuffed toy for the same reason. I still have him, he’s completely battered from his life during my childhood, so he’s now kept in a sealed bag and a secure box.
The second part that resonates the most is your moral compass. I do see the world as shades of grey rather than black & white, but, I have *always* thought like you where if a person isn’t being their true self, they aren’t someone I can be around. And, to me, friend means a true friendship. Otherwise the person is an acquaintance - someone I know and am friendly towards, but don’t share anything of myself with them.
Thank you for sharing, I look forward to more of your videos.
Thank you so much for sharing 🤗
The taste!!! Yes, 100 percent agree. So cool!
smell is a big one for me. i always smelled other people on handmedowns
Hi Irene!!! I was recently diagnosed with autism (and on my report they also suspected me having adhd) I’ve been listening to your podcast-like videos and omg this one prompted me to connect with you BCS you also had a stim blanket! Im 25 now and I’ve also been told by my parents that they want to take my blanket away for washing/replace it with a new one…and I can’t believe I’ve found someone who also have a stim blanket 🥰. (And btw I’m from Taiwan (but I live in the Uk) - I could 100% relate to how people are not that open to diagnosing adhd or autism)
I'm so happy I found your channel.♡♡
Nice and informative, thanks.