i don't blame op for not setting stricter bounderies earlier on. the effects of trauma are protective in intimate ways that aren't easy to catch or correct. op needs therapy and i genuinely feel sorry for her as i've been through the same thing.
@@xOrionNebula2708cops in the USA have a self reported amount of 40% being domestic abusers. They’re also have some of the lowest IQ ranges for a profession. Simply put, abusive meat heads who were drawn to power.
Small tip : If you're not allowed to use pepper spray wherever you live, or you just don't have it, carry around hair spray or deodorant spray, it's normal to carry that stuff around so you probably won't get in trouble and I'd say, getting hit in the face with hair spray or deodorant spray would be painful AF. I know it's not a very good tip but you never know if you'll need protection. ❤
@@lunaeclipse7717 nobody is victim blaming when there's no victim just an attention seeking woman your vagina doesn't make you a victim neither does hers
@@lunaeclipse7717 also victim blaming would be me saying it's her fault for wearing certain clothes or hairstyle calling someone out for lying isn't victim blaming
It's so disheartening that because of her past trauma she ends up being even more susceptible to future trauma. Her past trauma makes her essentially just freeze and/or concede when she is cornered or put under pressure. She made so many mistakes that made her situation worse. She gave him her number, she facetimed, she accepted a ride from him several times, she walked home alone from the gym, she tried to gently shut him down but she did it in such a vague way that to that nasty pr*dator probably sounded more like flirting or a challenge to chase her. It's such a sad vicious circle for many victims of abuse.
OP needs to report this man and especially to his wife, with proof. This is getting ridiculous. I understand not wanting to get fired, but this dude is a weirdo and needs to face consequences.
It’s easy for us to tell you what to do, but it really depends on the personality. I am and no way judging you for not being upfront with him. What I can tell you is that these type of men go after soft spoken women. Next time you see him, take out your phone and start recording him and tell him that this is the last time you want him to follow you. Scream at him, be strong, and do not allow anything else to happen. I hope the best for you. If this continues, I would threaten him to put it online and reveal his name. I don’t know where you are, but I am in Houston, and if you need help, I would be honored to help you.
You don't feel comfortable with any actions or calling his wife, don't want to text, which is good because it gives you evidence. what do you want advice for? record all interactions. or is that outside your comfort zone too?
Why is OP still asking for advice at the end? She won’t listen to the crucial bits anyways. Nowadays, you can’t take any risks with creeps. And she made a ton of mistakes; and it feels like not even the assault made her see the error in her passive ways. Is she even in therapy? (She doesn’t say so in the story)
She may not be able to afford therapy by the sounds of it. Plus, no one is a perfect victim and she sounds like she has a freeze/fawn response to traumatic situations. She may be stuck, we dont know how her finances are and no one is perfect (especially when they're young). Don't get me wrong, I'm also frustrated but it's at the situation and not OP. She's young, didn't know any better, and struggling. I know a ton of young women like her and most of them go through shit like this because it's systemic (thank the gods I'm the DUFF here). Get mad at the predator and not OP.
@@HollyAnneThePaganChaosWitchWhy do you think these older creeps go after seriously young girls? Because they can’t defend themselves. They don’t have experience and the cops won’t do shit. So it’s a predator’s dream situation. She needs to take some self defense classes or recruit someone to walk everywhere with her. He IS stalking her. It’s not her imagination.
the fact a grown man feels comfortable harassing a 20 year old like this is too sick for words
Girl run. You say you can't afford to leave, but you actually can't afford to stay.
Yah OP should be running but instead she's not doing shit.
@@dikshithaariyawansa1299 you make it sounds soooo easy
i don't blame op for not setting stricter bounderies earlier on. the effects of trauma are protective in intimate ways that aren't easy to catch or correct. op needs therapy and i genuinely feel sorry for her as i've been through the same thing.
Anyone else notice that the cops quite literally are never, ever helpful in any of these stories
ACAB fo sure! I've found very few exceptions to that rule.
That's true in real life too. Then again go look up the DV stats among cops and it makes sense.
@@StonedHunter ???
@@xOrionNebula2708cops in the USA have a self reported amount of 40% being domestic abusers. They’re also have some of the lowest IQ ranges for a profession. Simply put, abusive meat heads who were drawn to power.
I mean...yeah. This may sound rude but cops are borderline useless 95% of the time.
Small tip : If you're not allowed to use pepper spray wherever you live, or you just don't have it, carry around hair spray or deodorant spray, it's normal to carry that stuff around so you probably won't get in trouble and I'd say, getting hit in the face with hair spray or deodorant spray would be painful AF.
I know it's not a very good tip but you never know if you'll need protection. ❤
This is a good idea, we have soooo many daily products that are irritants and harmful in the eyes and face
Oh god. He's escalating and has a pattern. I hope she's safe and I hope she quits
People like this don't quit until they are stopped.
bruh whoever said her comments could be seen as flirting is insane 5:37
No money is worth her safety. She should just quit
It sounds like her fear response is to freeze due to repeated trauma :C
She doesn't have trauma she's just seeking attention
@@JustinAdamson270wow, victimblaming.
@@lunaeclipse7717 nobody is victim blaming when there's no victim just an attention seeking woman your vagina doesn't make you a victim neither does hers
@@lunaeclipse7717 also victim blaming would be me saying it's her fault for wearing certain clothes or hairstyle calling someone out for lying isn't victim blaming
@@JustinAdamson270 people also blame victims saying ‘oh they just wanted attention’ it isnt just clothes.
It's so disheartening that because of her past trauma she ends up being even more susceptible to future trauma. Her past trauma makes her essentially just freeze and/or concede when she is cornered or put under pressure. She made so many mistakes that made her situation worse. She gave him her number, she facetimed, she accepted a ride from him several times, she walked home alone from the gym, she tried to gently shut him down but she did it in such a vague way that to that nasty pr*dator probably sounded more like flirting or a challenge to chase her. It's such a sad vicious circle for many victims of abuse.
OP needs to report this man and especially to his wife, with proof. This is getting ridiculous. I understand not wanting to get fired, but this dude is a weirdo and needs to face consequences.
Soon to be ex-wife. She knows.
ouuuhhh... CREEP!! 😭
Walk away. Don't worry about the kid. Protect yourself.
It’s easy for us to tell you what to do, but it really depends on the personality. I am and no way judging you for not being upfront with him. What I can tell you is that these type of men go after soft spoken women. Next time you see him, take out your phone and start recording him and tell him that this is the last time you want him to follow you. Scream at him, be strong, and do not allow anything else to happen. I hope the best for you. If this continues, I would threaten him to put it online and reveal his name. I don’t know where you are, but I am in Houston, and if you need help, I would be honored to help you.
I hate all the "I didn't want" but she did it anyway. My god girl!
Poor girl. I feel bad for her and I'm really upset she's going through that. Corps are again useless.
The reverse baby trap. Normally guys use cute dogs for this purpose.
You don't feel comfortable with any actions or calling his wife, don't want to text, which is good because it gives you evidence. what do you want advice for? record all interactions. or is that outside your comfort zone too?
Why is OP still asking for advice at the end? She won’t listen to the crucial bits anyways.
Nowadays, you can’t take any risks with creeps. And she made a ton of mistakes; and it feels like not even the assault made her see the error in her passive ways. Is she even in therapy? (She doesn’t say so in the story)
She may not be able to afford therapy by the sounds of it. Plus, no one is a perfect victim and she sounds like she has a freeze/fawn response to traumatic situations. She may be stuck, we dont know how her finances are and no one is perfect (especially when they're young).
Don't get me wrong, I'm also frustrated but it's at the situation and not OP. She's young, didn't know any better, and struggling. I know a ton of young women like her and most of them go through shit like this because it's systemic (thank the gods I'm the DUFF here). Get mad at the predator and not OP.
@@HollyAnneThePaganChaosWitchWhy do you think these older creeps go after seriously young girls? Because they can’t defend themselves. They don’t have experience and the cops won’t do shit. So it’s a predator’s dream situation.
She needs to take some self defense classes or recruit someone to walk everywhere with her. He IS stalking her. It’s not her imagination.
You can bie a gun
Not so easy in Canada. If she buys an illegal one and uses it in self-defense, she could get in worse trouble than the guy.
"he was pushy so i gave him my phone number" i hate how most women have no courage and self respect in this world. jesus christ.
People like you are why sexual assault victims don’t speak up
Ermmm what the sigma
What warranted me to write to comment with a straight face 😑
@@69Xaviers Ermmm what the sigma
Girl stop engaging, come on now.