Visit my Church in Georgetown, TX: orthodoxaustin.org/ Support my digital ministry :) www.patreon.com/priestmoses Workout videos: instagram.com/fathermosesmcpherson?igsh=cnZrMXpnMXRhY2Jn& Or buy supplements at oldschoollabs.com, code priestmoses for 20% off! And please like, subscribe, comment, and share!
John 3:16 ESV "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, [9] not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Romans 11:6 ESV But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace. 1 John 5:13 ESV I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life. Romans 6:23 ESV For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. ❤✝️
Wanted to say this is an excellent video. Lots of comments here, I believe, come from people who didn't listen to the whole video. This really helped relieve a lot of fears I have had about my wife in our first year married. Our 2nd anniversary comes up almost the same time as the due date of our first. Thanks again for this wisdom, father moses.
After suffering a false marriage for 7 years, and then being properly married for 18 years, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as the "right" person. People are just people, and if both of you are willing to put in the work, you can get through anything. Couples also forget the third person in their marriage, God. Go to Him when times are tough. God wants you to stay together, and He will help you out!
Absolutely greed that putting in the work and remaining devoted to one another and God is extremely important, but I do in fact believe that there's such a thing as the right person. When looking for a spouse, you need to find some who you're compatible with, and who shares your values/beliefs/goals/ect. I believe that if God intends for you to be married, He will reveal the spouse that He has created for you.
I got married in 2016... by 2018, I thought I had made a mistake. Fights, faults, arguments. Then, by 2019, we were pregnant and high-risk. My wife was in the hospital for 60 days, and the effort we put into taking care of our child rekindled a deeper love--and revealed to me, my own shortcomings. I was protestant. We lost our child that year. Not only did our marriage become better, because of my rekindled sense of responsibility and sacrifice, but our relationship with God took on a new, deeper form--suffering. Now, I am Orthodox (though my wife is hesitant), and I realize that losing a child, though hard in its own way, was just what I needed to learn to love the way God intended, rather than live selfishly as before. Glory to God, in all things.
We must die to each other. I cant rember the saint who told this story but it goes like this. 2 sets of partners , 1 argued constantly , their neighbours seemed to never argue. So 1 day the couple that argued decided to spy on their neighbours to see how they where so happy. When looking through their window they saw the husband knock a vase off the table and break it . He immidaitly apoligized and started to clean up. His wife then rushed over and said " no no its my fault i shouldent of left it their " and apoligized and started to help her husband clean up. There was no blame , each saught to blame and correct themselves first not the other. This is what we must strive for. Thankyou farther this id a hard task that we must work on our whole reltionship. May God help us.
If I live to a much older age, I must write two books, the first Diapers to Diapers, the Story of My Life, and the second Waiting on the Woman. I have been married for 51 years and have been together for almost 54 years. We would never have made it thus far without our faith in Christ. Praise be to God for a wife who would put up with me for so long.
I heard this from a Protestant pastor but it applies here and I believe it to be true. When someone says “I’ve married the wrong person” his response is “well they’re the right one now.”
Brothers and sisters, you have to create or be someone who you yourself would want to be around with. What is it that you want from your partner? you be that person!
Seeking perfection in our relationships is a trauma response. I realized that the neglect and loneliness I felt since 13 led me to seek perfect outcomes because maybe *that* would award me the validation and acceptance I could never get previously. It took me 10 years to talk with my wife like a partner, instead of like someone I consistently had on a witness’ stand.
You might not know it yet father but you are my pastor now even tho i am an atheist i love everything you say and how you saynit it is so inteligent and enlightening thank you so mutch❤
I've had this thought about my wife and I have found it often to be rooted in my own ego. Reading St. John Chrysostoms "On Marriage and Family Life" has helped me recognize my duty to myself and my wife as a man. Regardless of how I feel about her, I have accepted and taken on the responsibility to love and protect her. Go to confession weekly. This helps tremendously! Do not go looking for your priest to justify your concerns about your wife. Go to confess your sins! Marriage is martyrdom. Self-sacrifice is key! Fr. Moses, pray for me an unworthy sinner, that Christ will strengthen me as a man, husband, and father. You are truly helping us men.
Do not go to your priest to justify your concerns with your wife? What? A husband should discuss concerns (and possible sins) that he has about his wife & the wife, likewise should do the exact same thing with her priest or spiritual father Yes, humility is important (if necessarily via a 2 way street,) but I'd argue that there are without question times where social pressure mechanisms by parishoners are the best path, such as, shaming, shunning, & possible excommunication for both men & women too. Yes, extend grace, patience, & love to them (to a degree) but without holding boundaries in your personal life & boundaries within the church, you leave a massive opening for the serpent to come in like a wrecking ball of wickedness. *obviously, granted, that not every single interaction should be like this but: Job rebuking his wife was Godly success while Adam failing to confront Eve's rebellion was ungodly failure
@@thaimuayshoo1171 I’m speaking of confession. Go to confess your sins. Confession is never a time to confess your wife sins. It’s a time to confess your sins.
I don’t understand all the criticism towards the clickbait title? It’s 2024. This is how you get videos out which helps get the message out. I swear people just look for anything to complain about. Great video and message Father Moses 💪🏼
I was having this conversation with my husband last night. I've come to realize how I have been delusional about my expectations and reality. I have asked him for forgiveness as I am now becoming aware of these traits. I'm grateful for this video and my recent love for orthodoxy. My view on life, marriage, children, and mankind was polluted by trauma and so I have been operating from that perspective. Lord, have mercy on me a sinner
This is a very good video with great advice . As a young guy marriage scares me a lot because im afraid I might ruin it or that my wife will end up hating me However vidoes like these helped to understand how i should be in the marriage Putting her needs above my own , loving her as Christ loved the church .Most importantly putting God first. I think we can apply the advice in the video to anyone in our lives . Thank you for the message God bless .
Absolutely married the wrong person. Had a kid. Then got a house. Then got married. Then had two more kids. Then i converted. We just had another child. We are broke as jokes. But we are ride or die for each other during each and every crisis. We fight with the same passion that we care for each other. Been together for 19 years. Married 14. God bless. This is a great word, father ☦️❤️
@ I don’t get what you mean ? I’ve been married once. All my kids are with my wife. We are still together. It’s was a sarcastic play on words to the topic father was discussing. Literally read the title of the video ? I dunno
Thank you father Moses. I'm a Greek orthodox, living in Thessaloniki, Greece and your speeches help me a whole a lot. I'm recently married. Please pray for me and my wife. My name is Efstathios and my wife is Marina Maria ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you, much of the modern world and Hollywood likes to portray the perfect relationship of “the one” and this mentality leads to anxiety, pride and then contempt. Just as Christ loves the church we are called in the same way, we may fall short but we continue to show love through all things.
The very first time my wife and I locked eyes, we both knew it-without a word, we understood we were meant to be together. In that brief moment, it was like we recognized something we had always been looking for in each other. Fast forward, 18 years later, and it's a perfect symbiosis. What was it in that moment that imprinted on both of us the certainty of a lifetime together? I don’t know...
Man I really hope these videos reach both men and women. I’ve been working on tons of self development for the last 10 years and I can truthfully say that all of your videos resonate with my beliefs but they aren’t all sorted. Thankfully you help sort these thoughts and beliefs and for that I appreciate you and your knowledge.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting these, father. Im restricted to my home area and dont have any Orthodox churches near me. Your videos are true lifesavers. Thank you for being our father❤
Thank you, Father Moses, for the encouragement today. I've always thought it to be a thought from the enemy to cause confusion - to think that we married the wrong person. We need to prepare our engaged couples with this knowledge in pre-marital counseling.
Hot take: marriage is so super easy when you find the right person. Married 3 months after meeting. Going on 14 years and 3 kids. Huge pain in the ass but so am I. We are who we are and we recognized that early on. Never a doubt in my mind😊
I agree!! 8 years in for us plus 3 babies. Not once has this thought come to mind! If anything, the years and added stress of children have only solidified the feeling that I married the right one ❤
There is no right person. Marriage is an ongoing work. The only time someone can marry the “wrong person” is if they are an unchanging, abusive relationship.
Thank you Fr Moses for this amazing video, I’m 18 years old Orthodox and these videos really inspire me to become a better man for the future and for the Women I get married to God willing 🙏🏾, your content is amazing keep it up!
I have been struggling hard with this idea recently. The fact that I have never seen or heard of your channel, yet this is the first video suggested to me, shows me God is real and he very much cares for his children.
Thank you Father, I am Catholic and am 17 (in my last year of HS), although I may have theological disagreements with the Orthodox Faith, I want to thank you for your wisdom and I am hopeful that the two branches will reunite, God bless all of my orthodox brothers and sisters, and thank you again Father. ☦✝
Thank you father. I will keep your advice in mind and work towards being a better person worthy of a wife. I want a wife to serve God, the church and her.
Absolutely but the marriage contract/ covenant to me is just man made paradigm that only benefits if children are involved......maybe Who we are intimate with is such a powerful exchange of energy that you can either wither or flourish but who's to say we are to stay together forever. Moving on in love and fluid love at that is kinda the flow in this life. Do you actually believe we were meant for just 1 person forever? Well if so we got that shit screwed up as a whole don't ya think?
@@rachelross5829 I don't think the fall of man makes any sense if we are not meant for one person. As the priest says here, you have to change yourself not the external circumstances. If you divorce and remarry, you are trying to achieve paradise by picking the apple. Personally I am divorced myself though it wasn't really my choice.
@@andrew_70bob4 so you believe our creator picked someone for us or did we before we came here? Can twin flame dynamic even be a real one? To be honest , if not, Then I can't believe in love with only one person forever is our way. If it was then why would we not be doing it? Clearly we are not.
@@rachelross5829 The physical written contact is 100% man made, but that doesn't mean the spiritual/energy bond is. If we're basing the concept of marriage off more traditional ideas like that of the bible, then marriage is created through sex. Likely due to the energy exchange, which creates a permanent tie until one of the persons deaths. That's why Jesus says not to divorce, even in the case of infidelity. Because if you seperate then more than likely you will end up in another relationship which would be adultery. Just because you've physically separated doesn't mean you've spiritually separated. If the energy does in fact bond and permanently tie you to a person, then who knows what side affects there could be to developing muliple of these bonds with others who themselves have multiple bonds. I wonder if many of these "opressive" ideas are actually safe guards to help protect us. For example, i saw there was a new study finding that having multiple sexual partners increases your chances of cancer. The higher the body count the higher the risk. They said they don't know what could cause this, but I'm curious if it's due to having multiple sexual energy ties.
@@rachelross5829 I think it's about belief in the institution of marriage and family rather than the person. We're all perfect in the eyes of God so you need to see with God's eyes. People give up too easily, divorce is the easy option. That was my own personal experience but of course it spreads around, you need to change the culture. There's a toxic belief in romantic love. You can trace it back to post-war Hollywood, then pop music, soap operas.
I’m a recent convert, was just prayed into the order of the catechumens like 2 weeks ago. Grew up Protestant, trust me when I say this, come home bro. Learn from the Orthodox Church why the Orthodox Church does what it does. Don’t go to outside sources who pass down hearsay. I say before the Lord in confidence: the Orthodox Church has maintained the very faith we proclaim to possess. Never in my life have I had so much peace amongst so many questions. See for yourself, you won’t regret it.
As if I needed to be more terrified of marriage 😂😂. For me it comes down to the prisoners dilemna. How confident are you that the other person will be as devoted as you, and not look out for themselves at your expense? I have yet to meet one that even comes close. At least with other mistakes in my life, no matter how bad, I can always bounce back whole. With this, the mistake is not only costly, but permanent when children are involved. Thank for you the insight regardless, Fr.
Let me be a warning to you then…..you can’t and never will know. You have to operate on faith knowing full well what they are capable of. My wife and I began dating at 16 and grew up together in the church. Her family became mine long before we got married. We dated 8 years until we finally graduated college and got married. We had the same outlook on marriage being lifelong and our unwillingness to ever be tempted by an affair. A year into our marriage she began cheating on me, 9 years and 2 affairs later she thinks she married the wrong person. She said she was never in love with me and we have been in a dead marriage for years…the kicker is she began pulling away from me and walling me off right around the time she began having her affair and hasn’t given our marriage a true chance at being repaired since. Even now she will put hours into personal projects but not 5 minutes into any of my books on marriage or reading the word. It’s no coincidence that most of her friends have been cheating on their spouses too or live in open marriages. The world is evil and those who choose to live in it will fall prey to it.
19 years old here. Very tempting to pursue a woman for looks and sex alone, all the girls my age are so beautiful. It’s an inner struggle, since I know I have a higher calling, to be a husband willing to sacrifice as Christ sacrificed for His bride, the church! Pray for me to stay focused on God and wait patiently for God’s will, it gets lonely sometimes without a girlfriend.
Ya know, i normally try not to leave comments on TH-cam videos, but this video came right on in time where it needed to be. I don't feel that i have a spiritual father (other than God of course, the upper Father), so, i come here. I don't know where to start but i woll say this. I don't think I've heard or met any man that has recently been able to reel me in and challenge my own thinking like father moses. There are a plethora of masculinity videos out here, but i prayed for answers speaking to Jesus, and i even wanted to talk to you father moses after watching several of your videos and suddenly, i see this. I've been trying to figure out some things personally, and i think this may have helped a lot, at least for now. My situation has been a bit complicated for me, but i Thank God for you. Many blessings to you and your family. 🙏🏽
Wow, great words of wisdom! I am having doubts about IF I should marry the woman I have been dating. I am dating with marriage in mind but for some reason it is taking time for me to see clarity. This video really removes a lot of the dust from my eyes! Thank you and Thanks to God who is always guiding me through my blidness!
Hello father, you are on the money as always. Although we differ in a lot, your message is truly guided by the holy spirit. Much love from a catholic brother✝️☦️
Thank you Father Moses. I think accepting a person’s weaknesses is just as important as recognizing their strengths, because there’s a push pull effect that will make a marriage stronger in the end. As long as the marriage is based in authenticity and shared values. This is one thing you realize by working on yourself as you’ve said.
I wasn't married but in a relationship. I'm not the type of guy to hold your hand and cuddle everyday, that's something she expected from me. It's not like I didnt make mistakes, but I knew it wouldn't work out and still went through with it. I've learned my lesson.
Great video. I also think that taking a marriage covenant helps a marriage. I'm Protestant, so I said marriage vows verbally. I have no alternative but to be married to my wife. If there are no other options, putting in the work to have a healthy relationship is a no brainer.
I really like the content, very good to be able to gleem into actual real wisdom, this video included. I do see a trend with the titles getting a bit wacky though, please don't go into clickbait type stuff and stay true to making meaningfull content, thanks for everything so far, just wanted to say that
I think people make a big deal about EVERYTHING when this is just a temporary space for us. Be kind, & be thankful for a spouse being there for you. Make the best in life and don’t be so set in a certain way, certain ‘thing’ just be happy. Before you know it, you’ll be 80 and ready to say goodbye to the world!
From my own experience of marriage, the most important thing is to talk about what you want to do and be together. Strengths and weaknesses don’t necessarily change, but motivated people can mitigate and strategize and work through their weaknesses to get better little by little. It’s people who don’t share goals who aren’t motivated to work through their weaknesses. People who don’t want to be parents don’t become more responsible and nurturing, even if you convince them to have a child for you, and people who don’t want to have a high level career don’t suddenly become motivated to get promotions and work hard just because they have someone to support. My wife and I want the same things, so we can agree on what our flaws are and work on them, instead of having different opinions of what constitutes a flaw and working at cross purposes to each other.
@@BBBRRROOODDDYYY Totally, but I still meet people who don’t know the basics and get married (then usually divorced), so I’ll keep warning people about the basics.
Marriage isn’t all sun flowers and rainbows there for sure will be obstacles the important thing is to overcome them together like God intended it to when you said “i do”
Great video. I would also add that many people nowadays just dont wanna put any effort into saving the marriage because no-fault-divorce is just the "easier" way out
@@officialthomasjames It's not deception it's a direct response to the belief that there's a "right" marriage and a "wrong" one, and that most people end up saying they "married wrong" which is sort of ridiculous in itself, but I do agree I don't like where it's going
I would like to be married. But with the culture we live in and with people giving up on marriage because of this exact point. Or you not bowing down to everything they want. I’ve realized it’s probably not a reality that I will get married. And that’s cool. Because for me divorce isn’t an option, however I can’t speak for the lady. Marriage is supposed to be a mirroring image to our relationship with God. That doesn’t happen too often. Divorce is encouraged in our culture and it has unfortunately creeped into a lot of the church.
Are you baptized? Do you partake of communion? Do you have a prayer life? Why do you doubt that God can help you marry the right person? Why do you doubt that God can help you improve yourself and help you serve Him, your community and your wife and the same for your future wife? Don’t doubt with God everything is possible.
Amen brother. Im right there with you. People will see don’t give up, but Paul even says he wished we would stay single for the sake of the Lord. You are worthy- without having to find a wife. A woman doesn’t complete us, Christ Risen completes us. I really am starting to enjoy my peace and solitude over relationships now that I am 30.
@@FatherSonSpirit1 I'm about to be 30 next year and still not married.There's a feeling that if I wait too long it might be too late, and I'd be alone the rest of my life.Any advice considering you seem to be in peace with being single and 30 years old?
@@stefanstefan161 yeah, if I know majority of women are not the best for me, and cannot contribute to my peace, Im mature enough now to realize being single (not alone) is better than having a toxic partner/ someone who doesn’t truly care. I believe some women have lost their ability to care and nurture. I can find a relationship 10 years from now (40) and have kids at that age. Are you a woman? That makes things a little different.
I married during a dry patch in my spiritual position with God. Once I repented and focused on God, the yoke between myself and my wife was stagnant. Then I learned about service and selflessness, not as mere words but adopting them. Truly fixating on the marriage, the husband should love the wife like Jesus loves the Church. This turned my anger and regretfulness into love and patience while putting my counsel with God.
The problem here is it has to apply to BOTH. If it applies to one and the other just refuses to change cause she/he constantly stuck in “making the wrong decision” It’s not gonna work out and tore both of them out.
They should though about before they married. What run do we run? My recommendation for this kind of case, they need to talk with a counsellor. They need to know what marriage is, or take a break and think carefully trough where they are heading, life or destruction? Why be in a marriage if they're only going to ruin. Be transparent to each other.
I want a spiritually strong yet OBEDIENT wife. I say because of my mother and sister never listened to me, I always try to help and have consideration for what is best for them Im never gonna take advantage of a woman, but I want one who trusts me and doesnt doubt me just because
An introverted woman is more likely to fit this mold. I’m sure you know this but introverted people are not necessarily shy. I do know the kind of person who is already capable of being obedient in the way you describe. They don’t have a “follower” personality, they just have nothing against following because they can contribute just as much as a follower as they could if they were leading themselves. It isn’t just going along with everything. It’s more so a willingness to follow, but she will still watch the path ahead, watch where you’re going and take careful steps. Introverts are so busy making observations that they often take action much later than others would. Sometimes this looks like getting left behind in conversations, and other times it looks like being pulled into a plan they didn’t make, yet they are the one who saves it from failure because they saw the forest for the trees.
Absolutely correct! I think it’s also been fruitful for my own relationship to offer the ways that I’ve felt bothered by my partner through Mary and to Jesus, that He take care of it. Keeping my mouth shut and trusting God has given in these sufferings has helped make him a man of far greater virtue I could never have dreamed of. The fruit of these offerings and prayers has been nothing short of incredible, and I’m so grateful for this mercy. The Lord fulfills the desires of our hearts. May our desires be His alone.
Thank you father for this wonderful video on mariage. Since you are frequently quoting St. Paisios, another incident which is also known in Greece. A few guys visited him and said to him: Elder, please pray to God so that we find some good girls to marry. His answer: Everyone keeps asking for good girls. What are we going to do with the bad girls?
Thank you Father. Please adress also the scenario when only one person in the couple is trying to work on him/herself and the other is narcisistic, feels entitled and puts more pressure on the other.
Hey! To be fair I became an introvert from a bad trip on dextromethorphan as a teen. I have to image extroverts who experience serious trauma may also become introverts.
Thank you for your video! This morning I had a situation that made me really angry with my partner. Your video helped me calm down and change the approach. Thank you, be blessed!
Visit my Church in Georgetown, TX: orthodoxaustin.org/
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And please like, subscribe, comment, and share!
I wish us protestants had confession, as a Lutheran I am about as close as I can get while a protestant.
John 3:16 ESV
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, [9] not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Romans 11:6 ESV
But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.
1 John 5:13 ESV
I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life.
Romans 6:23 ESV
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
❤✝️
Wanted to say this is an excellent video. Lots of comments here, I believe, come from people who didn't listen to the whole video. This really helped relieve a lot of fears I have had about my wife in our first year married. Our 2nd anniversary comes up almost the same time as the due date of our first. Thanks again for this wisdom, father moses.
After suffering a false marriage for 7 years, and then being properly married for 18 years, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as the "right" person. People are just people, and if both of you are willing to put in the work, you can get through anything. Couples also forget the third person in their marriage, God. Go to Him when times are tough. God wants you to stay together, and He will help you out!
Absolutely greed that putting in the work and remaining devoted to one another and God is extremely important, but I do in fact believe that there's such a thing as the right person. When looking for a spouse, you need to find some who you're compatible with, and who shares your values/beliefs/goals/ect. I believe that if God intends for you to be married, He will reveal the spouse that He has created for you.
if only people understood this
This is false. Theres no "perfect" person. But there is a "right" and a "wrong". Lol aside from God being the most important, this is bad advice.
God is not the third person. He is the first person
If I could roll my eyes harder, they would land in my ass. Turn to god'' lmao
I got married in 2016... by 2018, I thought I had made a mistake. Fights, faults, arguments.
Then, by 2019, we were pregnant and high-risk. My wife was in the hospital for 60 days, and the effort we put into taking care of our child rekindled a deeper love--and revealed to me, my own shortcomings. I was protestant.
We lost our child that year. Not only did our marriage become better, because of my rekindled sense of responsibility and sacrifice, but our relationship with God took on a new, deeper form--suffering. Now, I am Orthodox (though my wife is hesitant), and I realize that losing a child, though hard in its own way, was just what I needed to learn to love the way God intended, rather than live selfishly as before.
Glory to God, in all things.
May your childs memory be eternal. Thank you for sharing. God be with you.
I am so sorry for your loss
Your child is happy in the arms of its Creator.
God bless you
God bless you brother
“Marriage works when you’re working on yourself”. Amen.
We must die to each other.
I cant rember the saint who told this story but it goes like this.
2 sets of partners , 1 argued constantly , their neighbours seemed to never argue.
So 1 day the couple that argued decided to spy on their neighbours to see how they where so happy.
When looking through their window they saw the husband knock a vase off the table and break it .
He immidaitly apoligized and started to clean up.
His wife then rushed over and said " no no its my fault i shouldent of left it their " and apoligized and started to help her husband clean up.
There was no blame , each saught to blame and correct themselves first not the other.
This is what we must strive for.
Thankyou farther this id a hard task that we must work on our whole reltionship.
May God help us.
That is so beautiful
Amazing story!
I think its St. John Chrysostom or St. Paisios
One couple is aggressive. The other couple is passive aggressive
"marriage works when you're working on yourself"
Well said, Father.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙏🏻
If I live to a much older age, I must write two books, the first Diapers to Diapers, the Story of My Life, and the second Waiting on the Woman. I have been married for 51 years and have been together for almost 54 years. We would never have made it thus far without our faith in Christ. Praise be to God for a wife who would put up with me for so long.
Can't wait to read em
My late grandmother said her autobiography would be called “From Rags, To More Rags” 😂
🔥❤️
@@BunnyUK😂❤
Tell us when u publish the books ❤✝️
I heard this from a Protestant pastor but it applies here and I believe it to be true. When someone says “I’ve married the wrong person” his response is “well they’re the right one now.”
Yeah the old bait and switch.
I think some important factors for a good partnership are:
-lifestyle compatibility,
-shared vision,
-shared values.
"Without a vision a peope perisheth"
Not just a people, but also couple.
Brothers and sisters, you have to create or be someone who you yourself would want to be around with. What is it that you want from your partner? you be that person!
Great advice!
Wow that actually means a lot. As a woman I can also take the lead in peacemaking
@@ShaniOnSinai Definitely. protect your peace!
Seeking perfection in our relationships is a trauma response. I realized that the neglect and loneliness I felt since 13 led me to seek perfect outcomes because maybe *that* would award me the validation and acceptance I could never get previously. It took me 10 years to talk with my wife like a partner, instead of like someone I consistently had on a witness’ stand.
As soon as you say "I do" they are the RIGHT person.
😂😂😂😂😂Facts
What a use of reason….
You might not know it yet father but you are my pastor now even tho i am an atheist i love everything you say and how you saynit it is so inteligent and enlightening thank you so mutch❤
And you are my spiritual son. Love you.
Bot spotted
@@wotdefookbruvthe acc is 8yrs old.
He's not a pastor he's a priest. You should call him by those terms by respect
@@chadilayShut up
I've had this thought about my wife and I have found it often to be rooted in my own ego. Reading St. John Chrysostoms "On Marriage and Family Life" has helped me recognize my duty to myself and my wife as a man. Regardless of how I feel about her, I have accepted and taken on the responsibility to love and protect her. Go to confession weekly. This helps tremendously! Do not go looking for your priest to justify your concerns about your wife. Go to confess your sins! Marriage is martyrdom. Self-sacrifice is key! Fr. Moses, pray for me an unworthy sinner, that Christ will strengthen me as a man, husband, and father. You are truly helping us men.
Amen!
Do not go to your priest to justify your concerns with your wife? What?
A husband should discuss concerns (and possible sins) that he has about his wife & the wife, likewise should do the exact same thing with her priest or spiritual father
Yes, humility is important (if necessarily via a 2 way street,) but I'd argue that there are without question times where social pressure mechanisms by parishoners are the best path, such as, shaming, shunning, & possible excommunication for both men & women too. Yes, extend grace, patience, & love to them (to a degree) but without holding boundaries in your personal life & boundaries within the church, you leave a massive opening for the serpent to come in like a wrecking ball of wickedness.
*obviously, granted, that not every single interaction should be like this but:
Job rebuking his wife was Godly success while Adam failing to confront Eve's rebellion was ungodly failure
@@thaimuayshoo1171 I’m speaking of confession. Go to confess your sins. Confession is never a time to confess your wife sins. It’s a time to confess your sins.
I don’t understand all the criticism towards the clickbait title? It’s 2024. This is how you get videos out which helps get the message out. I swear people just look for anything to complain about. Great video and message Father Moses 💪🏼
Take note they are ALL North Americans. This is Puritanism raising its ugly head
"Wrong is wrong, even when everyone is doing it. Right is right, even when nobody is doing it"
The year 2024 does not make it right.
I was having this conversation with my husband last night. I've come to realize how I have been delusional about my expectations and reality. I have asked him for forgiveness as I am now becoming aware of these traits. I'm grateful for this video and my recent love for orthodoxy. My view on life, marriage, children, and mankind was polluted by trauma and so I have been operating from that perspective.
Lord, have mercy on me a sinner
🫶🏼
This is a very good video with great advice .
As a young guy marriage scares me a lot because im afraid I might ruin it or that my wife will end up hating me
However vidoes like these helped to understand how i should be in the marriage
Putting her needs above my own , loving her as Christ loved the church .Most importantly putting God first.
I think we can apply the advice in the video to anyone in our lives .
Thank you for the message
God bless .
Absolutely married the wrong person. Had a kid. Then got a house. Then got married. Then had two more kids. Then i converted. We just had another child. We are broke as jokes. But we are ride or die for each other during each and every crisis. We fight with the same passion that we care for each other. Been together for 19 years. Married 14.
God bless. This is a great word, father ☦️❤️
doesn’t that mean you married the right person?
@@Jack-oc2fc it’s a joke referencing the topic bud
Love this testimony
You could be committing adultery by not being with the person you first married.
@ I don’t get what you mean ? I’ve been married once. All my kids are with my wife. We are still together. It’s was a sarcastic play on words to the topic father was discussing. Literally read the title of the video ? I dunno
Thank you father Moses. I'm a Greek orthodox, living in Thessaloniki, Greece and your speeches help me a whole a lot. I'm recently married. Please pray for me and my wife. My name is Efstathios and my wife is Marina Maria ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you, much of the modern world and Hollywood likes to portray the perfect relationship of “the one” and this mentality leads to anxiety, pride and then contempt. Just as Christ loves the church we are called in the same way, we may fall short but we continue to show love through all things.
The very first time my wife and I locked eyes, we both knew it-without a word, we understood we were meant to be together. In that brief moment, it was like we recognized something we had always been looking for in each other. Fast forward, 18 years later, and it's a perfect symbiosis. What was it in that moment that imprinted on both of us the certainty of a lifetime together? I don’t know...
Oh my gosh i love stories like these. Makes my heart happy❤ good for you guys!
Man I really hope these videos reach both men and women. I’ve been working on tons of self development for the last 10 years and I can truthfully say that all of your videos resonate with my beliefs but they aren’t all sorted. Thankfully you help sort these thoughts and beliefs and for that I appreciate you and your knowledge.
I could have used this advice 28 years ago. It’s so much better than what secular counselors told me then.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting these, father. Im restricted to my home area and dont have any Orthodox churches near me. Your videos are true lifesavers. Thank you for being our father❤
Thank you, Father Moses, for the encouragement today. I've always thought it to be a thought from the enemy to cause confusion - to think that we married the wrong person. We need to prepare our engaged couples with this knowledge in pre-marital counseling.
I was once told that if you wanted to change people, you must change yourself. this video remined of this.
Hot take: marriage is so super easy when you find the right person. Married 3 months after meeting. Going on 14 years and 3 kids. Huge pain in the ass but so am I. We are who we are and we recognized that early on. Never a doubt in my mind😊
God has blessed you my friend!
It’s not that it’s “easy,” it’s that you deal with the difficulties that arise far better.
I agree!! 8 years in for us plus 3 babies. Not once has this thought come to mind! If anything, the years and added stress of children have only solidified the feeling that I married the right one ❤
Beautiful ❤
Yes! Married after months . 13 years and 6 kids later. Love my marriage ❤
What a fantastic ending to the video. Brilliantly put Father Moses
There is no right person. Marriage is an ongoing work. The only time someone can marry the “wrong person” is if they are an unchanging, abusive relationship.
Thank you Fr Moses for this amazing video, I’m 18 years old Orthodox and these videos really inspire me to become a better man for the future and for the Women I get married to God willing 🙏🏾, your content is amazing keep it up!
Thank you for these precious words Father. I am a protestant and I never heard such words from my church's pastor. God bless you!
And you wont. Come home ☦
I’m just leaving a comment to help the algorithm because this is gold 🙌
I have been struggling hard with this idea recently. The fact that I have never seen or heard of your channel, yet this is the first video suggested to me, shows me God is real and he very much cares for his children.
Thank you Father, I am Catholic and am 17 (in my last year of HS), although I may have theological disagreements with the Orthodox Faith, I want to thank you for your wisdom and I am hopeful that the two branches will reunite, God bless all of my orthodox brothers and sisters, and thank you again Father. ☦✝
I used to want that but Catholic path is a delusion & current Pope is a heretic kissing up to gay agenda. No to ecumenical trip
Thank you, Father.
Absolute banger of a video thank you father ☦️ may God grant you many years.
Wow. I loved how this video was titled as well as how the message was delivered. God bless you brother.
Thank you father. I will keep your advice in mind and work towards being a better person worthy of a wife. I want a wife to serve God, the church and her.
love these videos thank you for continuing to post
Be aware with whom you melt your soul
Absolutely but the marriage contract/ covenant to me is just man made paradigm that only benefits if children are involved......maybe
Who we are intimate with is such a powerful exchange of energy that you can either wither or flourish but who's to say we are to stay together forever. Moving on in love and fluid love at that is kinda the flow in this life. Do you actually believe we were meant for just 1 person forever? Well if so we got that shit screwed up as a whole don't ya think?
@@rachelross5829 I don't think the fall of man makes any sense if we are not meant for one person. As the priest says here, you have to change yourself not the external circumstances. If you divorce and remarry, you are trying to achieve paradise by picking the apple. Personally I am divorced myself though it wasn't really my choice.
@@andrew_70bob4 so you believe our creator picked someone for us or did we before we came here? Can twin flame dynamic even be a real one? To be honest , if not, Then I can't believe in love with only one person forever is our way. If it was then why would we not be doing it? Clearly we are not.
@@rachelross5829 The physical written contact is 100% man made, but that doesn't mean the spiritual/energy bond is. If we're basing the concept of marriage off more traditional ideas like that of the bible, then marriage is created through sex. Likely due to the energy exchange, which creates a permanent tie until one of the persons deaths. That's why Jesus says not to divorce, even in the case of infidelity. Because if you seperate then more than likely you will end up in another relationship which would be adultery. Just because you've physically separated doesn't mean you've spiritually separated. If the energy does in fact bond and permanently tie you to a person, then who knows what side affects there could be to developing muliple of these bonds with others who themselves have multiple bonds. I wonder if many of these "opressive" ideas are actually safe guards to help protect us. For example, i saw there was a new study finding that having multiple sexual partners increases your chances of cancer. The higher the body count the higher the risk. They said they don't know what could cause this, but I'm curious if it's due to having multiple sexual energy ties.
@@rachelross5829 I think it's about belief in the institution of marriage and family rather than the person. We're all perfect in the eyes of God so you need to see with God's eyes. People give up too easily, divorce is the easy option. That was my own personal experience but of course it spreads around, you need to change the culture. There's a toxic belief in romantic love. You can trace it back to post-war Hollywood, then pop music, soap operas.
I wish we had confession as a protestant. Such a value to have someone of the cloth to share your deepest concerns.
Come home 🫶🏼
I’m a recent convert, was just prayed into the order of the catechumens like 2 weeks ago. Grew up Protestant, trust me when I say this, come home bro. Learn from the Orthodox Church why the Orthodox Church does what it does. Don’t go to outside sources who pass down hearsay. I say before the Lord in confidence: the Orthodox Church has maintained the very faith we proclaim to possess. Never in my life have I had so much peace amongst so many questions. See for yourself, you won’t regret it.
Then you are not protestant because protestants do have confession.
As if I needed to be more terrified of marriage 😂😂. For me it comes down to the prisoners dilemna. How confident are you that the other person will be as devoted as you, and not look out for themselves at your expense? I have yet to meet one that even comes close.
At least with other mistakes in my life, no matter how bad, I can always bounce back whole. With this, the mistake is not only costly, but permanent when children are involved.
Thank for you the insight regardless, Fr.
Let me be a warning to you then…..you can’t and never will know. You have to operate on faith knowing full well what they are capable of. My wife and I began dating at 16 and grew up together in the church. Her family became mine long before we got married. We dated 8 years until we finally graduated college and got married. We had the same outlook on marriage being lifelong and our unwillingness to ever be tempted by an affair. A year into our marriage she began cheating on me, 9 years and 2 affairs later she thinks she married the wrong person. She said she was never in love with me and we have been in a dead marriage for years…the kicker is she began pulling away from me and walling me off right around the time she began having her affair and hasn’t given our marriage a true chance at being repaired since. Even now she will put hours into personal projects but not 5 minutes into any of my books on marriage or reading the word. It’s no coincidence that most of her friends have been cheating on their spouses too or live in open marriages. The world is evil and those who choose to live in it will fall prey to it.
Hey, don't give up on meeting someone that devoted, compassionate, and selfless, because they do exist, I promise!
@@carolyndilbeck7654 Thank you for the hopeful message and God bless.
@@coup-de-grace Of course!!
19 years old here. Very tempting to pursue a woman for looks and sex alone, all the girls my age are so beautiful. It’s an inner struggle, since I know I have a higher calling, to be a husband willing to sacrifice as Christ sacrificed for His bride, the church! Pray for me to stay focused on God and wait patiently for God’s will, it gets lonely sometimes without a girlfriend.
Stay focused young blood. Hit the gym, be strong, pray daily. Be consistent in your routines you got this
@@darkroom5534 ESPECIALLY PRAY DAILY. Fasting without prayer is just a diet. Strength without finesse is brutishness. Etc.
@@darkroom5534 Come on now! Preach that!
I agree with Darkrooms response brother, as you’ve said by submitting to Adonai’s will you will be at peace🤲🏽
It gets easier as you get older. Don't settle.
Ya know, i normally try not to leave comments on TH-cam videos, but this video came right on in time where it needed to be. I don't feel that i have a spiritual father (other than God of course, the upper Father), so, i come here. I don't know where to start but i woll say this. I don't think I've heard or met any man that has recently been able to reel me in and challenge my own thinking like father moses. There are a plethora of masculinity videos out here, but i prayed for answers speaking to Jesus, and i even wanted to talk to you father moses after watching several of your videos and suddenly, i see this. I've been trying to figure out some things personally, and i think this may have helped a lot, at least for now. My situation has been a bit complicated for me, but i Thank God for you. Many blessings to you and your family. 🙏🏽
Brother, check out the Royal Path Podcast with Father Turbo and Floridoxy (Both friends of Father Moses)
Wow, great words of wisdom!
I am having doubts about IF I should marry the woman I have been dating. I am dating with marriage in mind but for some reason it is taking time for me to see clarity.
This video really removes a lot of the dust from my eyes!
Thank you and Thanks to God who is always guiding me through my blidness!
Sound wisdom Father. Everyone needs to hear this! ☦️
Hello father, you are on the money as always. Although we differ in a lot, your message is truly guided by the holy spirit. Much love from a catholic brother✝️☦️
Amen father ! As a young man, this is priceless wisdom.
Thank you Father Moses. I think accepting a person’s weaknesses is just as important as recognizing their strengths, because there’s a push pull effect that will make a marriage stronger in the end.
As long as the marriage is based in authenticity and shared values. This is one thing you realize by working on yourself as you’ve said.
I wasn't married but in a relationship. I'm not the type of guy to hold your hand and cuddle everyday, that's something she expected from me. It's not like I didnt make mistakes, but I knew it wouldn't work out and still went through with it. I've learned my lesson.
Spot on conclusion to a much needed message. Thank you for your service.
Great video. I also think that taking a marriage covenant helps a marriage. I'm Protestant, so I said marriage vows verbally. I have no alternative but to be married to my wife. If there are no other options, putting in the work to have a healthy relationship is a no brainer.
Wonderful message. Job taught me God doesn't owe me a wife, even if I trust him.
I really like the content, very good to be able to gleem into actual real wisdom, this video included.
I do see a trend with the titles getting a bit wacky though, please don't go into clickbait type stuff and stay true to making meaningfull content, thanks for everything so far, just wanted to say that
This gave me so much hope for my current relationship. Thank you father 🙏
Great insights! Im devorced right a few years now. I think this would prevent a lot of devorces if preached regularly. God bless.
Thank you, Father Moses. I struggle with this deeply. From unmet expectations, to vanity. I struggle. pray for me.
I think people make a big deal about EVERYTHING when this is just a temporary space for us. Be kind, & be thankful for a spouse being there for you.
Make the best in life and don’t be so set in a certain way, certain ‘thing’ just be happy. Before you know it, you’ll be 80 and ready to say goodbye to the world!
Strong message as always father! Now I'm going to work on myself..it's deadlift day 😁🙏🕊️
I think this is the best and most applicable wisdom i have heard in a long time. Thank you Father, God bless.
Bless Father! Thanks a lot for this video. Greetings from France! ☦️
God bless!
From my own experience of marriage, the most important thing is to talk about what you want to do and be together. Strengths and weaknesses don’t necessarily change, but motivated people can mitigate and strategize and work through their weaknesses to get better little by little. It’s people who don’t share goals who aren’t motivated to work through their weaknesses. People who don’t want to be parents don’t become more responsible and nurturing, even if you convince them to have a child for you, and people who don’t want to have a high level career don’t suddenly become motivated to get promotions and work hard just because they have someone to support. My wife and I want the same things, so we can agree on what our flaws are and work on them, instead of having different opinions of what constitutes a flaw and working at cross purposes to each other.
Basic...
@@BBBRRROOODDDYYY Totally, but I still meet people who don’t know the basics and get married (then usually divorced), so I’ll keep warning people about the basics.
Marriage isn’t all sun flowers and rainbows there for sure will be obstacles the important thing is to overcome them together like God intended it to when you said “i do”
Marry someone that prayers with you and read the Bible with you. Motivate your spouse to pray and read the Bible.
Yes. That's key. Is this man saved? Why does he call himself Father Moses? Only God is father or your dad.
@@danilaroche1156because he is a priest
Great video. I would also add that many people nowadays just dont wanna put any effort into saving the marriage because no-fault-divorce is just the "easier" way out
I've only been married for 5 years but this is absolutely true.
Fr Moses’s video titles go hard.
Thank you for making another video on marriage, I hope you continue to make a series along with family and relationships. Thank you VERY HELPFUL.
This is sound advice for healthy people who are both devoted believers. It can go terribly wrong if the spouse has no moral character.
Terrific advice about marriage!❤
I needed this! Thank you Father. God bless you!
I'm glad I found this teaching now while I'm still single
Excellent presentation that cuts to the heart of the topic.
Father Moses, this video is incredible. I have never gotten this much insight on relationships in 10 minutes.
I swear this guy has the most creative titles. Good video
Yea he’s great at click-baiting people. Deception is not the way of the Lord.
@@officialthomasjamesare you saying the title he makes are deceptive and thus not of God?
@@officialthomasjames It's not deception it's a direct response to the belief that there's a "right" marriage and a "wrong" one, and that most people end up saying they "married wrong" which is sort of ridiculous in itself, but I do agree I don't like where it's going
Indeed! Hopefully many will listen!
Glad to hear your confession Fr. 😂
🤣
I would like to be married. But with the culture we live in and with people giving up on marriage because of this exact point. Or you not bowing down to everything they want. I’ve realized it’s probably not a reality that I will get married. And that’s cool. Because for me divorce isn’t an option, however I can’t speak for the lady. Marriage is supposed to be a mirroring image to our relationship with God. That doesn’t happen too often. Divorce is encouraged in our culture and it has unfortunately creeped into a lot of the church.
I would encourage you to not give up on the sacrament of marriage
Are you baptized? Do you partake of communion? Do you have a prayer life? Why do you doubt that God can help you marry the right person? Why do you doubt that God can help you improve yourself and help you serve Him, your community and your wife and the same for your future wife?
Don’t doubt with God everything is possible.
Amen brother. Im right there with you. People will see don’t give up, but Paul even says he wished we would stay single for the sake of the Lord. You are worthy- without having to find a wife. A woman doesn’t complete us, Christ Risen completes us. I really am starting to enjoy my peace and solitude over relationships now that I am 30.
@@FatherSonSpirit1 I'm about to be 30 next year and still not married.There's a feeling that if I wait too long it might be too late, and I'd be alone the rest of my life.Any advice considering you seem to be in peace with being single and 30 years old?
@@stefanstefan161 yeah, if I know majority of women are not the best for me, and cannot contribute to my peace, Im mature enough now to realize being single (not alone) is better than having a toxic partner/ someone who doesn’t truly care. I believe some women have lost their ability to care and nurture. I can find a relationship 10 years from now (40) and have kids at that age. Are you a woman? That makes things a little different.
I married during a dry patch in my spiritual position with God. Once I repented and focused on God, the yoke between myself and my wife was stagnant. Then I learned about service and selflessness, not as mere words but adopting them. Truly fixating on the marriage, the husband should love the wife like Jesus loves the Church. This turned my anger and regretfulness into love and patience while putting my counsel with God.
Thank you father Moses for your service! Looking forward to new videos (words of wisdom) from you.
I'm very single but for some reason I'm watching this 😂 Those were actually some excellent points that I will remember
Amen!!!! Thank You, Brother!
The problem here is it has to apply to BOTH. If it applies to one and the other just refuses to change cause she/he constantly stuck in “making the wrong decision”
It’s not gonna work out and tore both of them out.
They should though about before they married. What run do we run? My recommendation for this kind of case, they need to talk with a counsellor. They need to know what marriage is, or take a break and think carefully trough where they are heading, life or destruction? Why be in a marriage if they're only going to ruin. Be transparent to each other.
Thanks you father! Also I just realized how amazing your eyes are!
I want a spiritually strong yet OBEDIENT wife. I say because of my mother and sister never listened to me, I always try to help and have consideration for what is best for them
Im never gonna take advantage of a woman, but I want one who trusts me and doesnt doubt me just because
An introverted woman is more likely to fit this mold. I’m sure you know this but introverted people are not necessarily shy. I do know the kind of person who is already capable of being obedient in the way you describe. They don’t have a “follower” personality, they just have nothing against following because they can contribute just as much as a follower as they could if they were leading themselves.
It isn’t just going along with everything. It’s more so a willingness to follow, but she will still watch the path ahead, watch where you’re going and take careful steps. Introverts are so busy making observations that they often take action much later than others would. Sometimes this looks like getting left behind in conversations, and other times it looks like being pulled into a plan they didn’t make, yet they are the one who saves it from failure because they saw the forest for the trees.
This is such a breath of fresh air
Thank you, Father!
Slava Srbiji 🇷🇸🕊☦️
Absolutely correct! I think it’s also been fruitful for my own relationship to offer the ways that I’ve felt bothered by my partner through Mary and to Jesus, that He take care of it. Keeping my mouth shut and trusting God has given in these sufferings has helped make him a man of far greater virtue I could never have dreamed of. The fruit of these offerings and prayers has been nothing short of incredible, and I’m so grateful for this mercy. The Lord fulfills the desires of our hearts. May our desires be His alone.
Thank you father for this wonderful video on mariage.
Since you are frequently quoting St. Paisios, another incident which is also known in Greece.
A few guys visited him and said to him: Elder, please pray to God so that we find some good girls to marry.
His answer: Everyone keeps asking for good girls. What are we going to do with the bad girls?
I married the wrong person but for the right reasons. Blessed with two kids , together 20 years and still counting
Great video! Father Moses I’m a inquirer of the Orthodox faith just started 6 months ago. I am here in Austin too! I go to Saint Elias.
Thank you Father. Please adress also the scenario when only one person in the couple is trying to work on him/herself and the other is narcisistic, feels entitled and puts more pressure on the other.
Good clickbait good message
Hey! To be fair I became an introvert from a bad trip on dextromethorphan as a teen.
I have to image extroverts who experience serious trauma may also become introverts.
I very nearly did. It would have been disastrous. Before we broke up it became very clear we had different goals and values.
Ma man is spitting some facts🔥
Thank you for your video! This morning I had a situation that made me really angry with my partner. Your video helped me calm down and change the approach. Thank you, be blessed!
Great video father, gratitude from France.
Great video and informations.
Thank you!
God bless you!❤️
Such a useful talk. Thank you Fr. Moses!