When I read your comment, I thought of purging similar to a sweat lodge but I really do think he was in a serious medical state. This was way past Pluto in terms of a hard burn. Yes, I still say Pluto's a planet ;). I do understand what you're sharing. Stephanie, never been to BM. Hope I didn't overstep my thoughts, since I've never personally been there. But yes, you're referring to what I would call a "Wilderness Experience". Stripped of everything to become new.
My last burn was 2006. It was my 5th. My gift in all years except my first, was polaroids of people to them 'in the moment', as no one carried a camera in those times. What a difference.
Life still hasn't worked out to me returning to the playa but I still think of 2011 everyday and what your camp did to forever improve my outlook on life. I wore that red string from Karpo's lecture for close to a year cause it got me through every time I had a hard day. It's one of the very happiest memories I will ever have. You've done so much for so many people that continuing to do Pink Heart in the future is just a bonus if you do. The impact is already more than enough.
It was my seventh Burn. And it was the first Burn when I left early. I arrived on Monday and left Thursday at noon. It was too hard and for the first time ever it was not worth it for me any more. The things that I used to perceive as magical all of a sudden seamed like play-pretend and fake.
prior to coming out i found your TH-cam videos, they where very helpful and empowering. I came prepared, open to the experience and while im still processing everything from that week it definitely has changed my life for the better. I know there is sentiment that burning man is being eroded but at least for me and i hope many other first timers the magic and transformation ability is still there. I was with my friend Ian on his art car “MOJP” and we saw you briefly on playa, wish you a speedy recovery!
I'm going to adopt the sound you make at 19:59 whenever possible as a replacement for certain ugly words in life. The world needs more gentleness, even in the smallest of ways.
I've never needed electrolytes and rehydration like I did this year. Luckily my camp mate brought WHO authorized rehydration packets and that saved us all. Sorry you had it so rough
Virgin Burner here. Sorry you had a rough year! I hold faith in that you were battling something on top of the heat (Covid, or ??) and it was a fluke. I just recently came across your page here whilst doing my research. I have watched a lot of your content. THANK YOU! I hope to apply some of your teachings as I venture forth. Hopefully you make the decision to go again this year, as I would love the opportunity to say hello in person!
Hello Halcyon, I had been watching some Mark Day vids of Burning Man and had come across some of yours and was interested in what you had to say, very positive was my impression! Anyway, my reason for writing you, is that I had saw your vid on the announcement of the new 2022 camp site, you were visibly.... . different! I don't believe you wanted to make the change, but you accepted it, even forecast some positives that might come out of the move, I thought that was pretty kewl of you, change can be a tuff thing, and yes, I do not like change! I finally found this vid where you talk about BM 2022 reflections, thus prompting me to write. Wow, 24 years burning, I, would be proud of that! I am 67 years old, and enjoyedmemories
The heat wave got everyone. It was unusually warm here in Los Angeles. You’ve accomplished and contributed so much to BM over 2 decades. You’ve earned the right to retire with honors.
I'm only 7 minutes in. I have empathy that you suffered. You're always so uplifting & kind thinking about others. From what I've seen, you spend endless amount of hours putting this all together. I've worked in health care for quite a few years (ER & Hospice). My first thought was you were in the initial stages of Covid. Was absolutely shocked they didn't take your vitals. What?? That's the first thing that's done! Always! You didn't feel well & then on top of that it's the emotional drain. Betcha, a lot of it for you was because you weren't there for others. I'm certain it was traumatic. We're probably about the same age. When I hit 50, is when I really started to feel older because of my body changing. Like yourself, I was always able to get through. I've got battle wounds. I'm not girly, girly (even though today I have on pink ;). Yes, the older I've gotten the more mellow & soft I've become. But, I've always had that mindset of mind over matter (body). Gonna be honest. It sounds like you were very, very ill. I'm certain you were also running a serious high temp. Oh Halcyon, I'm sincerely sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you're home so you can be comfortable. Hope someone is checking on you for medical & emotional support. Sending "pink" hugs! Please give us an update! Edit - had to come back. Thanks, for sharing your experience at the Art. As I get older ;), I'm starting to see a change with more individuality instead of unity. Selfish is a strong word. You definitely had one of those "supposed to be there in that moment of time" experiences. Those are so rare & cool. Love, those teaching moments. I'd like to see more people exhibit kindness. Personally, I try to do a random act of kindness daily. I'm concerned for the youth that don't have any guidance. That's another long comment & I've typed a lot. Take care..
I have had a wild month. After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body. ((HUG))
Met you on my first day ever at Burning Man (i was so exciting) it was Sunday evening and you were in a great mood welcoming us with gifts, hugs and a big smile. (while you tried to handle a very strange situation with a rude woman next to us). I salute you and your camp mates, please never stop.
This was the first year I was able to go to the desert. By itself that may not seem so significant as there are thousands of virgins every year. What made this year so insanely important to me was that over a decade ago my late wife and I got together with our good friends and dreamed up a camp that would spend its first year as a theme camp on esplanade. My wife passed away very suddenly in January and shortly afterward I committed myself to making it this year and bringing her with me to see the camp we started so long ago and experience the one thing we built together that we were never able to attend. I was there for 14 days and even tho I’ve spent a lot of time in the desert as both a student and teacher in survival, this was hard. It was hot, it was windy and dusty, and there was a heaviness in the air that I wasn’t expecting or prepared for. The journey there nearly broke me and build was woefully behind. Yet somehow we managed to rally to build our kinky circus brûlée on esplanade and somehow I was rewarded with the experience of lying down in the middle of our structure, looking up at the lights and mattresses all around, gear the sound from the system that I built this year fill our space nearly perfectly without being overwhelming at the front of camp, watch a few people come in and play around on our Lyra or dance or have a beverage while they rested. It was fucking beautiful and even tho I was physically and emotionally drained beyond anything I had experienced before and could barely move as a result of a back injury I gave myself the day before I realized that that moment would be a defining moment for the rest of my life. This burn was harder than anything I’ve done and decompression is still so challenging but I know that I am not alone, I know that we brought a beautiful gift to the playa and I know that my wife was there with me through every single second of this burn and that I’ll meet her again, next year in temple. Thank you for being a vulnerable and sharing your experience because I truly believe that there were so many challenges we all had to face this year both individually and as a community and it’s important to acknowledge those challenges and our own moments of weakness and our own character in the face of those challenges. It keeps us humble and allows us to continue to grow through experience and togetherness. All the love my friend, I’ve watched your videos for years and I hope to continue doing so for many years to come ❤️
Halcyon-- you are describing certain symptoms and thoughts I know quite well. " I can't do this anymore, I should step down, if someone doesn't check on me I'm going to die, everything is terrible..." -- What you are describing sounds a whole lot like an anxiety attack born of your circumstances at the time. The intense environment of BRC has been a trigger for me for about a decade now, to the point that sometimes even planning for or travelling to the playa has given me those kinds of unwanted thoughts. On top of everything else, that kind of thing can be debilitating to you even if you're physically fine. I did a little talk therapy recently and described the circumstances of the attack as feeling like 'the house is on fire.' To which the therapist responded, 'right and what we have to get you to realize in the moment is that it isn't actually on fire.... and that's what allows you to move on from the attack and recover more quickly. We spend so much time worried about our physical health that we sometimes forget mental health is a real thing, too, and sometimes your brain 'feels' pain, and its a cry for help to regulate whatever is happening at the time.....
Interersting. I didn't think I would die in the moment. I feared that if I got any weaker and needed to get to the hospital, I would be unable to yell for help over the sound of the AC - and people could assume I was sleeping or off adventuring for days. But perhaps I did have a panic attack during my period of time when I was too weak to leave the RV.
@@HugNation Of course I have no idea what you were feeling, really, at the time, but it just sounds very similar to some of my 'cant leave my RV' moments over the years. It sucks and in the moment seems oh-so-real, especially those 'i let everyone down' types of thoughts. For me, this year, it has led to a 'is it a good idea to come back' question, which is scary considering how much of my identity is wrapped up in this community. But like my accounting prof said once, 'your sunk costs don't matter-- what matters is what it takes to get to the finish line from where you are.' and with Black Rock City, the finish line is so very hard to quantify-- I can tell you when I have crossed it, but rarely how far I still have to go. As always, good luck to you, I hope your Covid goes smoothly, and take care of yourself.
Thank you so much for sharing your difficulties last year. 20th burn and had a very similar experience. I was a mess, dropped my positions in my village, and was sure I was done forever. But, here I am getting ready again. I have a new pink outfit picked out for your ride. See you soon 💕
This is the first official burn I have missed since 2012....and so many people said they had a bad burn this year. I was pregnant and thats why I didnt go. I ended up still loosing my baby at 12 weeks. But I am glad I didnt go, because if I did I would have thought maybe it was being in that heat that did it. I am looking forward to next year. I hope its a better time for us all. *big hugs*
You almost certainly had COVID probably at the beginning of the week. It sounds a lot like my experience. I didn't even realize I had it for about 3 days when I got it. I was on a work trip in another time zone and just chalked up my experience to jet lag until I got fully sick and tested positive and was able to look back and understand that my body was just trying to fight COVID. Sorry you had to go through that.
this year was the best week of my entire life. with that being said.. half of our camp got covid and/or norovirus by the end of the week. it was such a difficult time out there in BRC because of the heat and insane whiteouts, but i rolled with the punches and made the best of it. of course the week after the high was 75 the entire week. go figure. the fridge in the rv never worked and the generator would go out every 20 minutes so there was basically no ac/microwave/fridge the entire week. we were baking in a tin box for a week straight. even with that happening the entire time, i still persevered and didn't let it ruin my time. my bike was a total piece of crap and was unusable the last few days. we ended up hanging at our camp bars/neighboring camp bars for most of the week during the daytime instead of exploring the playa all day and still had a blast. for anyone who didn't have fun i kinda just think that's your own fault. you make the best with what you are given.
@@HugNation I feel you. I mean, there are so few good feeling or even thoughts about it. Luckily I saw some old , dear pals from my SF family but we were only in survival mode every hour of every day. So much so that at night it was hard to conjur the energy. Big ol hug!
I hope many people had a revelation of the excessive waste and self indulgence this event has turned in to. All the need in the world ... Billions of dollars and energy spent that could be used to help others who are suffering and in need. Honestly all that went should do some deep internal work. Deplorable... Not you but the gross collective lack of awareness. What an inverted world we live in.
It was tough year for sure. I had a rough couple days mid week. I’m very lucky extreme heat or cold doesn’t bother me, but there were other things. Deep questions. Makes me rethink coming back. I’ve been a few times now. Is there only so much one can experience out there ? I’m not calling it yet. I’ve got time to figure it out.
I think after a few years you need to either dedicate yourself to Gifting through a theme camp, a piece of art, or something like Gate. You can't keep "getting from" the Burn the same way.
@@HugNation I completely understand. I’ve partook in all those activities over the years. DPW, art, art cars, donation bikes, art bikes, theme camps, bla, bla, bla 😉 I said I had been a few times, which is really more around 17 or 18 times. I have been getting a lot of post burn thank yous for my camp this year. That feels good, to offer a refuge and service. I’ll probably go back. It was just a tough one for me. If your ever want to visit the quietest spot on the playa during the event for sunrise and fresh ground pour over coffee just hit me up and I’ll give you the details.
I thought I would follow the comment with why I was watching BM vids. A good friend of mine died a year ago. For over ten years we camped & explored the desert, Black Rock being one of them. (we live in Ore) One of the best trips we had was BM week 2009, we came out of Winn. to Trego hot springs, across the playa to double hot springs, then into High Rock canyon, What an awesome trip! I wanted to remember him from that trip, so was watching Mark Day BM vids. Mark had shots of the "memorial" art work, I must have wept for 15-20 minutes remembering my friend......... The desert for me was a place of relaxation, meditation, escape, renewal, reflection, all rolled into one. Halcyon, I hope I haven't sounded too stupid here, admittedly, I am not very good expressing myself like this........ I hope you find the resiliency that you need...... Jerry P.S. Neither one of us had ever been to a burning man..........
Those symptoms sounds exactly how I felt when I had covid. Of course I wasn't at Burning Man, I was at home but other than the lack of heat here, everything else sounds very Covid-y.
Glad you're feeling better getting off playa, instead of worse, I appreciate what you do for your camp and the burn, I actually looked at your content to try to get myself into a certain mindset as a camp lead. It was my first burn and I ended up being a lead for a 25 person camp, as well as volunteering for gate (they were so short they started taking in first years), and also helped an artist setup their piece on the esplanade. It was a super busy week, it was a working man for sure. I honestly don't think if I'll go back, it was so much work doing everything the camp needed, and keeping everyone supported, hydrated, trying to keep spirits up, and be present, it was so hard. I'm proud of my camp, we made it through our week of interactivity serving noodles and made it through strike and came out closer together, but it took so much out of me, and so much of my time. However, hearing you share your story, I immensely preferred being there, being on a ladder, getting things wrapped up, and I am more appreciative that I was able to give and to lead. Thank you for sharing your story, as regretful as the dark moments were, and the honesty you gave. I really felt you when you said you don't get the burn you want, but I guess the message I got from the burn is maybe I should do a burn for me if a chance and motivation appears again. PS: In a harsh environment your immune systems adjust and get depleted, assuming you were covid positive, then quarantining yourself in your RV would've been the best move as it would've prevented the spread of covid and knocking out your camp, as it did to some other camps (and volunteer teams) at the burn. You made the right choice with the data you had at the time. Would've been a good idea to go to medical as soon as you had that difficult bowl movement, sign of dehydration and medical need that was a pretty bold flag. We only had one medical incident thankfully, but I spent a lot of time putting campers in time out with a pickle and a juice in the shade.
I tested negative for COVID when I was feeling my worst. I tested positive the wednesday the next week after severak days partying in Reno..but who knows?! After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body. Boy, you took on ALOT this year. And for your 1st Burn!??? Wow. BRAVO! ((HUG))
I see you and appreciate so much the love and support you give back to the community. As others have said, it definitely sounds like Covid that wasn't detectable yet. Be mindful and wary of Long Covid.... it wreaked havoc on my mental health long after my symptoms had subsided.
Thank you for this video. The first of yours I have watched. Looking forward to going next year for the first time. I am 56 so good hearing someone mention getting older and dealing with the heat. Can't wait to experience it! All love to you!
I was one of those burners you spoke to at Pink Heart and learned of your ice cream cone mantra of life; I then shared that mantra with a group of friends at dinner a few days later, and I can only imagine them sharing it to another group of friends, and so on and so on. Even though this Burn may not have been the easiest for you, (Covid and heat stroke can certainly knock even the strongest out) you definitely still had and continue to have, an incredible impact on the Burner community; please don't forget that. Lots of love!
What's the ice cream cone mantra? I heard it as you only have to lick one day at a time, and also opposingly, if you wait too long your ice cream will melt.
This was my 8th burn and it was rough and cut short due to covid. The hard part for me is I'm out there working for the man giving back to the citizens of BRC. I wasn't feeling good on Friday evening, I tested negative and worked over night. I ended up sleeping all day Saturday and missed the man burn. Sunday after I was positive and had to leave on Tuesday morning after being quarantined. This was heart breaking missing out on both man and temple burn. I can't imagine how incredibly difficult this was for you but I hope you will be able to return home next year - as long as you don't put your health at risk 🤗 )'(
@@HugNation Hope you stay in touch. Between covid, heat and dust...ohhh man. Friday night I went to the temple and got lost in a night where out. Worse was having a shift to pull. I barely made it. You'll know what's the right decision for you. Be well )'( 🤗
I had the same issues with regulating my body temp this year and am also usually highly active during daytime burn. I had my own share of medical issues and can entirely empathize with you. I’m so glad I did make it out to pink heart and got to say hello to you on one of the few out-of-camp adventures I was able to do. Also had a great moment at that art piece. Similar burns )’( Thanks for everything as always 💙
Hellooo Halcyon, I am a medical trauma survivor (with an official PTSD diagnosis and everything) - please know that everything you said in your first few minutes felt sooo familiar to me, I kept telling my husband “oh no this poor man has trauma”. I was happy when you then recognized it in your video too. You were in a life or death type situation and your brain and body were coping as best they could and having a super hard time regulating cos of both the illness and the stress it was causing. While I loveee that you’ve been able to focus on positive aspects of your burn, I’d also like to recommend reconnecting with your body and seeking out different healing modalities for the trauma you went through. You’re probably on top of this already, just wanted to encourage it. Happy to chat - I’ve spent the last couple of years trying alll the trauma healing methods and honestly most of them do work - just whatever makes you feel whole and integrated with your body. Baths with epsom salts, sensory deprivation float tank (when you’re out of quarantine), dance, hanging out with horses, ketamine/lsd, Tai chi, etc. Also if you’re the Halcyon that recently called out a meme about sparkle ponies for being misogynistic, thank youuuuu Love, Parna
Im sorry this happened. I didn't attend last year. But all of the camp leads of my camp got Covid. Im heading to playa this year, wow... Next month already. I have to figure out a way to keep safe. Covid on Playa sucks. I'm so sorry this happened like this for you.
Ive had Covid twice. Both times I tested negative the first several days being sick. It wasn’t till later that I tested positive. It’s totally plausible that was your experience as well. I’m glad you’re recovering.
Had a similar experience, at another participatory event this summer. I think the past years called for reflection, and invited many to let go, but not all of us could get there yet. Learned a lot, even if it did not turn out as expected. Love the story with the art piece, beautiful! 🙏
I coincidentally stopped by at night my first night. I got lost from pure negligence of not writing down my camp address. It was fun and scary and the people I met were a gift 💝 just soo kind and welcoming to a lone virgin burner. Ps 🤫 I made it back to my camp safely 🎉though
This was my first burn in 15 years. I thought maybe I was just getting old but--then I realized it was nearly 120 degrees every day and the nights never cooled off!! It took me quite a number of days to recover! Everyone said this was the hardest burn ever. My friends who have not missed a burn in 20 years said they don’t think they will ever go back. I was camped with Charlie the Unicorn. I think that climate change has finally taken it’s toll on BRC.
We got to meet late night on Friday while I was sitting on the couches and it was magical. I was going through a tough time and our conversation was exactly what I needed, and I hope it filled you with light too. You said you were having a tough burn, and I so wanted to do or give you something to make it better/lighter, but I couldn’t think of anything. We sat in silence a few times during our chat and those in-between moments were really beautiful too. I hope you start to feel better and kick COVID’s ass. Sending you love and light, and I hope we bump into each other again soon ❤
As an introvert that's been getting to know my physical limits better after more visits to medical on playa that I'd like to admit, I must say that going out on my early morning excursions, biking around the art, looking at how it interacts with the sun, the other art on the playa, the landscape is honestly how I experience the art and that is how I interact with it. Just because my interactions might be different also doesn't make them less valid. I love looking at how the sun will make certain details pop and others disappear. How a part of the art can perfectly frame some other piece of art in the distance and emphasize or bring out completely different meanings and contrasts in the art. More than once I've then taking the resulting photos to center camp to share with people in subsequent years, which also has brought some awesome experiences for me when I'm able to share. I have been told to move in nasty ways while taking my photos over the years. I was so glad I had biked around the Dali elephant piece this year with my trusty camera friend at hand (I've taken the same film camera to 8 burns now!) Some angles it blinded me with reflections, others I could make the elephants look even more insanely long legged as I forced the perspectives and positioned the sun behind the elephants. Then I finally found the picture frame with a sofa placed in front of it and saw 2 people peering at the landscape while from my perspective, the elephants were just outside the frame and walking into it to become the famous Dali painting. For me, taking photos and biking were integral parts of my entire experience of that piece of art. With that said, if you've ever had to deal with model releases, someone using your art for commercial purposes without permission or compensation and other things (yes this is still happening on playa!), it's not always as simple as it might seem. And the way the person asked you to move wasn't cool.
Facing the fear beast was my fave for sure. This year was my first bm and I was looking for ya everywhere and never saw u. Love your videos, thank u for preparing me for my first burn 🔥
This was my 1st burn and my worst burn. I had a camp but even though it was a themed sector camp there was no conrottery. Just me my fiance and 2 others building and tearing down in whiteout after whiteout by ourselves for 6 days...
Wow man.. I also would call this my roughest burn, & there were some strong “Ditto” moments while listening to this.. but my difficulties & maladies were mostly mental/emotional & not medical. I also had (& am having) a hard time remembering the positives & I’m hyper aware of how I fucked up. I sure hope we learn a ton from Lurning Man 2022.. they say “ya get the burn ya need”
I keep getting knocked down! After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body. Humbling year.
be gentle on yourself while you decompress. being sick with covid can take days to turn up on a rapid test due to low viral load. sounds like you were covid positive at BM, had a fever (why u couldn't regulate your temp), was knocked out of energy, GI issues, experienced covid brain fog, and dealing w exhaustion. glad u survived it out there! 💓
I am so sorry your Burning Man was so bad this year. I would be more that happy to help out next year. I am a hard worker, big hugger, and love people and the planet.
I really want to go but I have kidney failure and am on dialysis so I can’t go away without a hospital near more then a day. I feel like I need this as illness has made me really depressed and anxious. I get by with meditation and BM sounds like there is a lot of that aswell as grounding, community and people being positive. Do you reckon I could go or it would be too hard on my body, being sick.
Facing the Fear Beast was my favorite too! If you saw one art piece this year, I'm glad you saw that one! I agree with others that it really sounds like you got hit with covid while you were out there. I tested positive a couple days after leaving playa and it wiped me OUT. I was so incredibly weak for 4-5 days... still recovering now.
Yikes! After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body. ((HUG))
I had Covid & tested negative! I felt like I had been drug behind a car! I have a very high pain threshold and Covid kicked my butt! At least my antibodies at 25%!
Def tough this year. I was fortunate to have an off-playa volunteering gig mid-week, breaking up the playa slog. “What a drag it is getting old (er).” Hope the good eventually outweighs the bad for you.
Thank you for sharing! I took very few photos but I got one of the “Enema” street sign in front of your camp! ❤ I love Burning Man so much, it’s hard for me to imagine it used to be even better before “corrosion” but I hear next year is better! Fig jam swamp cooler maybe? The heat is no joke!
Sounds like you were going through Covid symptoms on top of the heat when you were out there. You survived!!! please don’t let your hardship this year discourage you for the future💛
I am enigmas friend from camp Walter. We met during the ice cream social. My husband gave you a disco ball necklace. I saw you again sitting at Walter but I didn’t want to bother you. I am a nurse and brought all my things. I could have checked your vitals frequently for you and given you an iv with vitamins. It does sound like you had covid. You usually don’t test positive on a home test until after the virus is strong enough in your nose. I had covid in Greece this summer and I felt very similar. I’m so sorry you went through this. I’ll always be thankful for the ice cream and the pink heart pin and the business card of course.
Yay! So glad you were able to enjoy ice cream and we were able to connect! It was hard for me to ask for help...but I will be quicker to do so in the future. After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body.
It was my 1st burn and not magical. The excruciating heat made it impossible to venture far during the day without getting heatstroke. I made a bad decision traveling to BRC with the wrong person and staying in a camp where I didn’t know anyone and didn’t feel a real connection between anyone in the camp. Coulda been the heat but it felt like a lot of disconnection throughout. I actually saw a guy throw a cigarette off a golf cart. That level of entitlement seemed to be everywhere. The playa at night is amazing. The art is mind blowing. I had a blast dancing all night. I didn’t have a spiritual awakening but I did have an aha moment of why I like to keep my circle small. Next time I’ll go with that circle and it’ll be better. Pink Heart was on the corner of the street where the camp I was staying was at and your pink was my beacon to find my way back to camp at night. 💕Thank you for the ice cream!
Just out of curiosity would you consider doing a mini series of you going to regional burns perhaps in places that have more moderate temperatures. Or for a major challenge go to one of the winter burns. Edit: I've been psyching myself up to go to a winter burn for the experience. I don't like winter I hate being cold. I still want to go anyway. I'm curious what kind of growth I may have from it.
I apologize if this is some kind of BM faux pas that i dont know about (I'm fairly new to BM culture) but you seem like a kind person who wont shout me down just for asking. I've lived an interesting life, i was homeless for a few years, i was an addict, ive done time in prison. I honestly believe i would bring a unique perspective to BM. However, all i do now is raise my daughter. I've never had much money but now every cent i get goes to her, and rightfully so. Ive lost my community over the years wether it's due to death, prison, moving, or just drifting apart. I literally have no close friends. However, i truly feel a sense of kinship with BM and it's community. I think it's a shame that people who dont have alot of money cant experience BM. Why should the poor miss out? In alot of ways THEY are the exact people who SHOULD be experiencing something like BM for a variety of reasons. So my question is, do you know of any way i can get involved, and contribute to the BM community and experience that doesn't cost an exorbitant amount of money? Sorry for my rambling. I hope to hear from you.
There are regional Burning Man communities and events. if you can connect to your local group, there may be gatherings that are free. But due to the "Radical Self Reliance" Principle, most things require resources of some sort. regionals.burningman.org/
You got sick at B'Man. Bummer. It happens. This last summer drained a lot of people's energy. I had days/weeks where I had no energy at all. STOP TAKING THE SHOT(!) This whole C-Vid deal is teaching us to pay attention to our immune system. We are also aging -- and learning how to not become weaker and less energetic even though we are getting older.
Thanks for sharing this was the first I had to leave early. I felt myself becoming a snark and left early before I was a burden. I had 4 days of wap and was just burnt. I was sick and had to come to terms with that. Next year next year 😊
111F for days.......rrrrrrrrrrrrrrough! My radiator went out on the way there- west of Truckee.....ended up swapping out myself. Got to the site at midnight....... then 5-6hr wait............ so no sleep at all first pm. Then several days of high winds- setting up. Fine for a few days after that and then intense H E A T. AC went out- so 6 hrs drive back in 100F plus heat........... so much fun
At 23:58 .......'I could get a space in my RV down to 90 degrees' .......😂😂😂. Getting sick with the worst killer flu since the Spanish Influenza at a party in the middle of an oven in the desert with no quick escape route to home sounds like pure hell. This party does not and never did sound like fun to me. Maybe the first few years were? When it was on a beach by the water! Did you see Hitler while you were in the HELL of burning man? The heat, the COVID,.
Halcyon I completely empathize. So many people I know had the hardest burn ever. I’m sure Covid was a huge part of it. I hope that changes will be made to adapt the burn to the realities of climate change. Can it happen in late September or mid June? I hope that those who make these decisions can adapt and not be attached to doing it the same way as always. We all have to make changes and adapt.
Having a rough burn is good for you. Not going to a burn by choice is even better for you. Going home again later is even better. I couldn't get a ticket this year. In the past, I've gone anyway and been able to score a ticket along the way. I haven't attended since 2017. I did 16 years in a row before that. I thought I would die if I missed it. I didn't. The world keeps turning and from what I can tell the festival keeps evolving into something unrecognizable. I've always had the best times, when I showed up with no expectations other than to meet some fascinating people. They are always there. I'm not into the Glam Camps with the Sherpas. I have worked as a cook many times just to earn a ticket not because of cost but because the lack of availability of tickets. I really miss being able to buy a ticket at the gate. I really really really miss the deep playa experience that you used to get when you could walk out into the darkness, the void and just chill alone or with a special person who you want to be alone with. At worst, you'll get run over by an Art Car or mutant vehicle or bicycler who's drunk and riding the blind in the dark and dust. There are more people now so there are more issues for sure. The biggest difference is the quality of the people who show up and what they think and project onto the scene. There definitely used to be a sense of camaraderie that is absent. Most people used to drive out there. You were camping. You roughed it together. You brought so special stuff to share. Now, people jet in. They have servants and chefs , hot showers and Sherpas serving them everyday. That roughing it to make it happen is a huge part of the experience. It makes you appreciate your life at home as well as at "Home." Now, it's become very elitist. It's clicky in a High School way. You used to attend events at a space I lived and managed in L.A. named "Mission Control.' Those were the days! Super fun stuff. I miss that place. It's nice to see you making videos and I hope you will consider and talk about some of the things that I've touched on. Enjoy your decompression. Thank you
I'm sorry your experience wasn't as magic as that of previous years. But is this the first time this has happened to you? It's a pretty big stretch from that to say that bman has lost some of its magic. I'm sure for others (including myself) it was surprisingly wonderful! When you are sad about your bman experience, it's the absolute worst time to make judgements about the whole event, wouldn't you think? :-)
I have been doing this - and evangelizing- for 24 years. I don't think I'm being judgemental. I am sharing my truth. There was MASSIVE magic in BRC. I know, I worked my ass off to helped create it. But my experience was rougher than it ever has been before. (Have you watched my other videos on Burning Man or on the Burning Man Journal?)
"Lick more, bite less". We stopped by in our Mutant vehicle (Arabella, metal phoenix) monday or tuesday night, got some amazing cold water and sat on your furry pink couches, then you appeared and we got to chat a bit and select from the bag. It was a nice early-week/post-build reminder of how the burn goes, how awesome people are and why we go every year. It was a very hard burn for all of us, and you are not alone in swearing it off as the last. In line with not divorcing your parakeet, that decision was also put on hold and we will of course likely be back again to bask in your wonderful pink lit sign.
Thank you for sharing 💖 Thank you for explaining the art, "Facing The Fear Beast" WOOOOWWWW!!!! (I wasn't there this year but that piece sounds incredible and makes so much sense now! The interactive art is so powerful.) Facing that inner demon that puts us down is so important. Speaking of which...there have been many requests for me to talk about my worst burn ever, which just so happened to be my 1st one (2016). I also thought to myself I don't think I can do this again. But I did go again and (now) I think there is so much we can learn from these types of burns, and that others can learn from our experiences too! Burning Man is not always what we want but recognizing the good things when focusing on the bad is so important. Thank you for sharing. I will share mine for sure eventually!! Feel better Halcyon 💞💗💞
thanks for the hug after temple burn sunday im sorry for bumping your beverage out of your hand Ill get you back next year! keep burning bright and be well
Sorry to hear, Halcyon! I'm surprised I even met you during the ice cream day where you came out and gave me a solution for my pee jar, lol. Was I supposed to use the whole thing? It maybe slightly reduced the nastiness but not by much. Still appreciate it, lol. Glad you feel better!
Glad you’re okay and so sorry it was a hard one. ❤ Do you think BMorg will eventually move BM back a few weeks? It just keeps getting hotter and hotter.
IMO, once you've had the hardest burn, you've actually fully realized the Burning Man experience. It is the parabola of life. Congratulations!
Worse...SO FAR! :P
When I read your comment, I thought of purging similar to a sweat lodge but I really do think he was in a serious medical state. This was way past Pluto in terms of a hard burn. Yes, I still say Pluto's a planet ;). I do understand what you're sharing. Stephanie, never been to BM. Hope I didn't overstep my thoughts, since I've never personally been there. But yes, you're referring to what I would call a "Wilderness Experience". Stripped of everything to become new.
i had a friend die my 2nd burn. its not easy at all.
@@commentforthealgo5383 Holy crap! What happened?
@@HugNation its a lot to type. maybe someday i can share with you, if youre willing.
My last burn was 2006. It was my 5th. My gift in all years except my first, was polaroids of people to them 'in the moment', as no one carried a camera in those times. What a difference.
Very different. Although people still seem to love Poloroids!
Life still hasn't worked out to me returning to the playa but I still think of 2011 everyday and what your camp did to forever improve my outlook on life. I wore that red string from Karpo's lecture for close to a year cause it got me through every time I had a hard day. It's one of the very happiest memories I will ever have. You've done so much for so many people that continuing to do Pink Heart in the future is just a bonus if you do. The impact is already more than enough.
It was my seventh Burn. And it was the first Burn when I left early. I arrived on Monday and left Thursday at noon. It was too hard and for the first time ever it was not worth it for me any more. The things that I used to perceive as magical all of a sudden seamed like play-pretend and fake.
If I wasn't helping run my camp, I would have tried to leave early.
and the music was (mostly) quite bland.......... deal breaker for me
@@atomicdmt8763 If you ever return, bring music you like! (It is a do-ocracy!)
That's because it is!
My advice? Is taking a few years off. Go to Europe instead or some other adventure. But circle back in 5 years. I bet the magic would return for you.
prior to coming out i found your TH-cam videos, they where very helpful and empowering. I came prepared, open to the experience and while im still processing everything from that week it definitely has changed my life for the better. I know there is sentiment that burning man is being eroded but at least for me and i hope many other first timers the magic and transformation ability is still there. I was with my friend Ian on his art car “MOJP” and we saw you briefly on playa, wish you a speedy recovery!
Hey! Good to see you! Ian is a legend. So happy my videos could help. Agree with you: It still blows minds and changes lives.
I'm going to adopt the sound you make at 19:59 whenever possible as a replacement for certain ugly words in life. The world needs more gentleness, even in the smallest of ways.
ha ha! Yes.... insert sound here! ((HUG))
I've never needed electrolytes and rehydration like I did this year. Luckily my camp mate brought WHO authorized rehydration packets and that saved us all. Sorry you had it so rough
I survived! And distance is helping me see more of the awesome parts.
Virgin Burner here. Sorry you had a rough year! I hold faith in that you were battling something on top of the heat (Covid, or ??) and it was a fluke. I just recently came across your page here whilst doing my research. I have watched a lot of your content. THANK YOU! I hope to apply some of your teachings as I venture forth. Hopefully you make the decision to go again this year, as I would love the opportunity to say hello in person!
Hello Halcyon, I had been watching some Mark Day vids of Burning Man and had come across some of yours and was interested in what you had to say, very positive was my impression!
Anyway, my reason for writing you, is that I had saw your vid on the announcement of the new 2022 camp site, you were visibly.... . different! I don't believe you wanted to make the change, but you accepted it, even forecast some positives that might come out of the move, I thought that was pretty kewl of you, change can be a tuff thing, and yes, I do not like change!
I finally found this vid where you talk about BM 2022 reflections, thus prompting me to write. Wow, 24 years burning, I, would be proud of that!
I am 67 years old, and enjoyedmemories
Thank you! Mark Day's videos are the best!!! This year has been filled with lessons. But I'm hoping for a different experience next year. :)
The heat wave got everyone. It was unusually warm here in Los Angeles. You’ve accomplished and contributed so much to BM over 2 decades. You’ve earned the right to retire with honors.
:) Thank you, Jay. I'm not ready to call it quits...we'll see how this year goes. :)
I'm only 7 minutes in. I have empathy that you suffered. You're always so uplifting & kind thinking about others. From what I've seen, you spend endless amount of hours putting this all together. I've worked in health care for quite a few years (ER & Hospice). My first thought was you were in the initial stages of Covid. Was absolutely shocked they didn't take your vitals. What?? That's the first thing that's done! Always! You didn't feel well & then on top of that it's the emotional drain. Betcha, a lot of it for you was because you weren't there for others. I'm certain it was traumatic. We're probably about the same age. When I hit 50, is when I really started to feel older because of my body changing. Like yourself, I was always able to get through. I've got battle wounds. I'm not girly, girly (even though today I have on pink ;). Yes, the older I've gotten the more mellow & soft I've become. But, I've always had that mindset of mind over matter (body). Gonna be honest. It sounds like you were very, very ill. I'm certain you were also running a serious high temp. Oh Halcyon, I'm sincerely sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you're home so you can be comfortable. Hope someone is checking on you for medical & emotional support. Sending "pink" hugs! Please give us an update! Edit - had to come back. Thanks, for sharing your experience at the Art. As I get older ;), I'm starting to see a change with more individuality instead of unity. Selfish is a strong word. You definitely had one of those "supposed to be there in that moment of time" experiences. Those are so rare & cool. Love, those teaching moments. I'd like to see more people exhibit kindness. Personally, I try to do a random act of kindness daily. I'm concerned for the youth that don't have any guidance. That's another long comment & I've typed a lot. Take care..
I have had a wild month. After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body. ((HUG))
Met you on my first day ever at Burning Man (i was so exciting) it was Sunday evening and you were in a great mood welcoming us with gifts, hugs and a big smile. (while you tried to handle a very strange situation with a rude woman next to us). I salute you and your camp mates, please never stop.
Thank you, Roni!! So glad you were able to enjoy Pink Heart!
Love your Transparency! Love your Reflections! Love your Growth! HUGS!!
Thank you, Chad!!
This was the first year I was able to go to the desert. By itself that may not seem so significant as there are thousands of virgins every year. What made this year so insanely important to me was that over a decade ago my late wife and I got together with our good friends and dreamed up a camp that would spend its first year as a theme camp on esplanade. My wife passed away very suddenly in January and shortly afterward I committed myself to making it this year and bringing her with me to see the camp we started so long ago and experience the one thing we built together that we were never able to attend. I was there for 14 days and even tho I’ve spent a lot of time in the desert as both a student and teacher in survival, this was hard. It was hot, it was windy and dusty, and there was a heaviness in the air that I wasn’t expecting or prepared for. The journey there nearly broke me and build was woefully behind. Yet somehow we managed to rally to build our kinky circus brûlée on esplanade and somehow I was rewarded with the experience of lying down in the middle of our structure, looking up at the lights and mattresses all around, gear the sound from the system that I built this year fill our space nearly perfectly without being overwhelming at the front of camp, watch a few people come in and play around on our Lyra or dance or have a beverage while they rested. It was fucking beautiful and even tho I was physically and emotionally drained beyond anything I had experienced before and could barely move as a result of a back injury I gave myself the day before I realized that that moment would be a defining moment for the rest of my life. This burn was harder than anything I’ve done and decompression is still so challenging but I know that I am not alone, I know that we brought a beautiful gift to the playa and I know that my wife was there with me through every single second of this burn and that I’ll meet her again, next year in temple. Thank you for being a vulnerable and sharing your experience because I truly believe that there were so many challenges we all had to face this year both individually and as a community and it’s important to acknowledge those challenges and our own moments of weakness and our own character in the face of those challenges. It keeps us humble and allows us to continue to grow through experience and togetherness. All the love my friend, I’ve watched your videos for years and I hope to continue doing so for many years to come ❤️
YES!!!!! BRAVO!!!!~ And thank you for sharing your story and all your hard work.
Halcyon-- you are describing certain symptoms and thoughts I know quite well. " I can't do this anymore, I should step down, if someone doesn't check on me I'm going to die, everything is terrible..." -- What you are describing sounds a whole lot like an anxiety attack born of your circumstances at the time. The intense environment of BRC has been a trigger for me for about a decade now, to the point that sometimes even planning for or travelling to the playa has given me those kinds of unwanted thoughts. On top of everything else, that kind of thing can be debilitating to you even if you're physically fine. I did a little talk therapy recently and described the circumstances of the attack as feeling like 'the house is on fire.' To which the therapist responded, 'right and what we have to get you to realize in the moment is that it isn't actually on fire.... and that's what allows you to move on from the attack and recover more quickly. We spend so much time worried about our physical health that we sometimes forget mental health is a real thing, too, and sometimes your brain 'feels' pain, and its a cry for help to regulate whatever is happening at the time.....
Interersting. I didn't think I would die in the moment. I feared that if I got any weaker and needed to get to the hospital, I would be unable to yell for help over the sound of the AC - and people could assume I was sleeping or off adventuring for days. But perhaps I did have a panic attack during my period of time when I was too weak to leave the RV.
@@HugNation Of course I have no idea what you were feeling, really, at the time, but it just sounds very similar to some of my 'cant leave my RV' moments over the years. It sucks and in the moment seems oh-so-real, especially those 'i let everyone down' types of thoughts. For me, this year, it has led to a 'is it a good idea to come back' question, which is scary considering how much of my identity is wrapped up in this community. But like my accounting prof said once, 'your sunk costs don't matter-- what matters is what it takes to get to the finish line from where you are.' and with Black Rock City, the finish line is so very hard to quantify-- I can tell you when I have crossed it, but rarely how far I still have to go. As always, good luck to you, I hope your Covid goes smoothly, and take care of yourself.
Thank you so much for sharing your difficulties last year. 20th burn and had a very similar experience. I was a mess, dropped my positions in my village, and was sure I was done forever. But, here I am getting ready again. I have a new pink outfit picked out for your ride. See you soon 💕
If you're looking for a very cool and cooler regional, come to UnScruz (Santa Cruz) in May.
@@erinthompson4941 I was at Unscruz this year!!! See you in the dust SOON!
This year’s sign and space y’all created was fantastic. Thank you again for providing an amazing environment for rest and love. Magic for sure. ❤️
Yay! So happy you enjoyed it!
This is the first official burn I have missed since 2012....and so many people said they had a bad burn this year. I was pregnant and thats why I didnt go. I ended up still loosing my baby at 12 weeks. But I am glad I didnt go, because if I did I would have thought maybe it was being in that heat that did it. I am looking forward to next year. I hope its a better time for us all. *big hugs*
Oh goodness!! My heart is wrapping you up in a huge hug. ((HUG))
You almost certainly had COVID probably at the beginning of the week. It sounds a lot like my experience. I didn't even realize I had it for about 3 days when I got it. I was on a work trip in another time zone and just chalked up my experience to jet lag until I got fully sick and tested positive and was able to look back and understand that my body was just trying to fight COVID. Sorry you had to go through that.
That's positive. Did you take a test when you first felt bad?
this year was the best week of my entire life. with that being said.. half of our camp got covid and/or norovirus by the end of the week. it was such a difficult time out there in BRC because of the heat and insane whiteouts, but i rolled with the punches and made the best of it. of course the week after the high was 75 the entire week. go figure. the fridge in the rv never worked and the generator would go out every 20 minutes so there was basically no ac/microwave/fridge the entire week. we were baking in a tin box for a week straight. even with that happening the entire time, i still persevered and didn't let it ruin my time. my bike was a total piece of crap and was unusable the last few days. we ended up hanging at our camp bars/neighboring camp bars for most of the week during the daytime instead of exploring the playa all day and still had a blast. for anyone who didn't have fun i kinda just think that's your own fault. you make the best with what you are given.
Yup, it was my first in years and it was SOUL CRUSHING.
I'm having a hard time getting psyched to return. :/
@@HugNation I feel you. I mean, there are so few good feeling or even thoughts about it. Luckily I saw some old , dear pals from my SF family but we were only in survival mode every hour of every day. So much so that at night it was hard to conjur the energy.
Big ol hug!
If your looking for colder burns I wod recomend Lakes of Fire in Michigan. Smaller side but a wonderful envorment
I hear AWESOME things about LOF!
I hope many people had a revelation of the excessive waste and self indulgence this event has turned in to.
All the need in the world ... Billions of dollars and energy spent that could be used to help others who are suffering and in need.
Honestly all that went should do some deep internal work.
Deplorable...
Not you but the gross collective lack of awareness.
What an inverted world we live in.
It was tough year for sure.
I had a rough couple days mid week.
I’m very lucky extreme heat or cold doesn’t bother me, but there were other things. Deep questions.
Makes me rethink coming back.
I’ve been a few times now.
Is there only so much one can experience out there ?
I’m not calling it yet.
I’ve got time to figure it out.
I think after a few years you need to either dedicate yourself to Gifting through a theme camp, a piece of art, or something like Gate. You can't keep "getting from" the Burn the same way.
@@HugNation
I completely understand.
I’ve partook in all those activities over the years.
DPW, art, art cars, donation bikes, art bikes, theme camps, bla, bla, bla 😉
I said I had been a few times, which is really more around 17 or 18 times.
I have been getting a lot of post burn thank yous for my camp this year. That feels good, to offer a refuge and service.
I’ll probably go back.
It was just a tough one for me.
If your ever want to visit the quietest spot on the playa during the event for sunrise and fresh ground pour over coffee just hit me up and I’ll give you the details.
@@b.s.adventures9421 I look forward to seeing your camp (if both of us decide to go back!)
I thought I would follow the comment with why I was watching BM vids. A good friend of mine died a year ago. For over ten years we camped & explored the desert, Black Rock being one of them. (we live in Ore) One of the best trips we had was BM week 2009, we came out of Winn. to Trego hot springs, across the playa to double hot springs, then into High Rock canyon, What an awesome trip! I wanted to remember him from that trip, so was watching Mark Day BM vids. Mark had shots of the "memorial" art work, I must have wept for 15-20 minutes remembering my friend.........
The desert for me was a place of relaxation, meditation, escape, renewal, reflection, all rolled into one.
Halcyon, I hope I haven't sounded too stupid here, admittedly, I am not very good expressing myself like this........
I hope you find the resiliency that you need......
Jerry
P.S. Neither one of us had ever been to a burning man..........
Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories, Jerry. ((HUG))
Glad you didn't die! The heat in 2017 during the day kicked my ass. Glad you are better!
"Glad you didn't die! " AMEN!
Those symptoms sounds exactly how I felt when I had covid. Of course I wasn't at Burning Man, I was at home but other than the lack of heat here, everything else sounds very Covid-y.
Interesting. I tested negative at that time...but you never know!
Glad you're feeling better getting off playa, instead of worse, I appreciate what you do for your camp and the burn, I actually looked at your content to try to get myself into a certain mindset as a camp lead. It was my first burn and I ended up being a lead for a 25 person camp, as well as volunteering for gate (they were so short they started taking in first years), and also helped an artist setup their piece on the esplanade. It was a super busy week, it was a working man for sure.
I honestly don't think if I'll go back, it was so much work doing everything the camp needed, and keeping everyone supported, hydrated, trying to keep spirits up, and be present, it was so hard. I'm proud of my camp, we made it through our week of interactivity serving noodles and made it through strike and came out closer together, but it took so much out of me, and so much of my time. However, hearing you share your story, I immensely preferred being there, being on a ladder, getting things wrapped up, and I am more appreciative that I was able to give and to lead. Thank you for sharing your story, as regretful as the dark moments were, and the honesty you gave.
I really felt you when you said you don't get the burn you want, but I guess the message I got from the burn is maybe I should do a burn for me if a chance and motivation appears again.
PS: In a harsh environment your immune systems adjust and get depleted, assuming you were covid positive, then quarantining yourself in your RV would've been the best move as it would've prevented the spread of covid and knocking out your camp, as it did to some other camps (and volunteer teams) at the burn. You made the right choice with the data you had at the time. Would've been a good idea to go to medical as soon as you had that difficult bowl movement, sign of dehydration and medical need that was a pretty bold flag. We only had one medical incident thankfully, but I spent a lot of time putting campers in time out with a pickle and a juice in the shade.
I tested negative for COVID when I was feeling my worst. I tested positive the wednesday the next week after severak days partying in Reno..but who knows?! After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body.
Boy, you took on ALOT this year. And for your 1st Burn!??? Wow. BRAVO! ((HUG))
I see you and appreciate so much the love and support you give back to the community. As others have said, it definitely sounds like Covid that wasn't detectable yet. Be mindful and wary of Long Covid.... it wreaked havoc on my mental health long after my symptoms had subsided.
Yikes. I will be mindful.
Much Love! You deserve so much for your sacrifices
Thank you! I feel richly blessed. But the costs were definitely higher this year! :P
Thank you for this video. The first of yours I have watched. Looking forward to going next year for the first time. I am 56 so good hearing someone mention getting older and dealing with the heat. Can't wait to experience it! All love to you!
Love to you! Hope to cross paths in BRC or a Regional Burn!
@@HugNation absolutely!
Thank you for taking me to the burn virtually again. There are many ways to do that work and play in other ways.
Thank you, Naze!
I was one of those burners you spoke to at Pink Heart and learned of your ice cream cone mantra of life; I then shared that mantra with a group of friends at dinner a few days later, and I can only imagine them sharing it to another group of friends, and so on and so on. Even though this Burn may not have been the easiest for you, (Covid and heat stroke can certainly knock even the strongest out) you definitely still had and continue to have, an incredible impact on the Burner community; please don't forget that. Lots of love!
Thank you for sharing that. I'm glad we had a chance to connect! Thanks for the reminder that the good is REALLY GOOD. ((HUG))
What's the ice cream cone mantra? I heard it as you only have to lick one day at a time, and also opposingly, if you wait too long your ice cream will melt.
This was my 8th burn and it was rough and cut short due to covid. The hard part for me is I'm out there working for the man giving back to the citizens of BRC. I wasn't feeling good on Friday evening, I tested negative and worked over night. I ended up sleeping all day Saturday and missed the man burn. Sunday after I was positive and had to leave on Tuesday morning after being quarantined. This was heart breaking missing out on both man and temple burn. I can't imagine how incredibly difficult this was for you but I hope you will be able to return home next year - as long as you don't put your health at risk 🤗 )'(
I feel you. I slept through the man Burn, too. And missed SO much. We'll see how I feel next year! ((HUG))
@@HugNation Hope you stay in touch. Between covid, heat and dust...ohhh man. Friday night I went to the temple and got lost in a night where out. Worse was having a shift to pull. I barely made it. You'll know what's the right decision for you. Be well )'( 🤗
@@jimo199966 links.hugnation.com has several ways to stay in touch!
Obviously late commenting, glad you recovered and wish only the best health!
Thank you! 🙏
Thank you for being right about Art. Art on the Playa. And Tigre. RIP.
I had the same issues with regulating my body temp this year and am also usually highly active during daytime burn. I had my own share of medical issues and can entirely empathize with you. I’m so glad I did make it out to pink heart and got to say hello to you on one of the few out-of-camp adventures I was able to do. Also had a great moment at that art piece. Similar burns )’( Thanks for everything as always 💙
My pleasure. It was a ROUGH one!!!!
Hellooo Halcyon,
I am a medical trauma survivor
(with an official PTSD diagnosis and everything) - please know that everything you said in your first few minutes felt sooo familiar to me, I kept telling my husband “oh no this poor man has trauma”. I was happy when you then recognized it in your video too. You were in a life or death type situation and your brain and body were coping as best they could and having a super hard time regulating cos of both the illness and the stress it was causing.
While I loveee that you’ve been able to focus on positive aspects of your burn, I’d also like to recommend reconnecting with your body and seeking out different healing modalities for the trauma you went through. You’re probably on top of this already, just wanted to encourage it.
Happy to chat - I’ve spent the last couple of years trying alll the trauma healing methods and honestly most of them do work - just whatever makes you feel whole and integrated with your body. Baths with epsom salts, sensory deprivation float tank (when you’re out of quarantine), dance, hanging out with horses, ketamine/lsd, Tai chi, etc.
Also if you’re the Halcyon that recently called out a meme about sparkle ponies for being misogynistic, thank youuuuu
Love,
Parna
Thank you for the affirmation and suggestions! And, yes, same Halcyon! ((HUG))!!
You are so inspiring! I might go back next year, I would need to install a cooling water misting system to keep us alive 😛
Aw, Thank you! I'm not ready to commit to next year. One day of healing at a time. :) ((HUG))
Im sorry this happened. I didn't attend last year. But all of the camp leads of my camp got Covid. Im heading to playa this year, wow... Next month already. I have to figure out a way to keep safe. Covid on Playa sucks. I'm so sorry this happened like this for you.
Ive had Covid twice. Both times I tested negative the first several days being sick. It wasn’t till later that I tested positive. It’s totally plausible that was your experience as well. I’m glad you’re recovering.
Well THAT is interesting!
Had a similar experience, at another participatory event this summer. I think the past years called for reflection, and invited many to let go, but not all of us could get there yet. Learned a lot, even if it did not turn out as expected. Love the story with the art piece, beautiful! 🙏
Thank you! Hope you have recovered. (I am still working on it.)
Cool meeting you briefly during my travels to thank you for your videos wich did help me prepare for my burn.
Hugs
Thank you, Ed! Glad we could connect!
24 years… bound to get a rough one and many people thought this was the worst!
REALLY hoping this year isn't so hard for me.
Have you upgraded AC units and or insulated more? yes I hope the heat cools down this year
@@Burning-bf4ll I am working on some insulation upgrade. But not much to do with a 40 year old metal box in the desert.
I coincidentally stopped by at night my first night. I got lost from pure negligence of not writing down my camp address. It was fun and scary and the people I met were a gift 💝 just soo kind and welcoming to a lone virgin burner. Ps 🤫 I made it back to my camp safely 🎉though
Yay! Love hearing that getting lost lead to exactly where you needed to go. ((HUG))
This was my first burn in 15 years. I thought maybe I was just getting old but--then I realized it was nearly 120 degrees every day and the nights never cooled off!!
It took me quite a number of days to recover! Everyone said this was the hardest burn ever.
My friends who have not missed a burn in 20 years said they don’t think they will ever go back.
I was camped with Charlie the Unicorn.
I think that climate change has finally taken it’s toll on BRC.
right?!? This was HARD!!!!
Colorado always has amazing weather! Apogaea
Thank you! It was #14 for me and the same brutal experience. Very hard but the Playa still gave me what I needed (gratitude).
BRUTAL!
Well this is the Burn that did us in. Our final trip to the playa and boy was it a rough one. One shinning aspect of the burn was being your neighbor.
I feel ya. Glad we could share a few moments. ((HUG))
This year is going to be insane… Temps going to avg the highest temps from last year. Going to break some heat records for sure
The forecast says MUCH cooler. And they just got a ton of rain. Playa is soaked right now. Totally different than last year.
So amazing to have finally met you. I too struggled a lot this year.
Great to meet you, too! And proud to be your Surreal Estate Agent! ((HUG))
We got to meet late night on Friday while I was sitting on the couches and it was magical. I was going through a tough time and our conversation was exactly what I needed, and I hope it filled you with light too. You said you were having a tough burn, and I so wanted to do or give you something to make it better/lighter, but I couldn’t think of anything. We sat in silence a few times during our chat and those in-between moments were really beautiful too. I hope you start to feel better and kick COVID’s ass. Sending you love and light, and I hope we bump into each other again soon ❤
I am amazed by ur realness wish for all comunicatiers to have
Thanks for the cool water on the hot days pink heart!
You are so very welcome!
As an introvert that's been getting to know my physical limits better after more visits to medical on playa that I'd like to admit, I must say that going out on my early morning excursions, biking around the art, looking at how it interacts with the sun, the other art on the playa, the landscape is honestly how I experience the art and that is how I interact with it. Just because my interactions might be different also doesn't make them less valid. I love looking at how the sun will make certain details pop and others disappear. How a part of the art can perfectly frame some other piece of art in the distance and emphasize or bring out completely different meanings and contrasts in the art. More than once I've then taking the resulting photos to center camp to share with people in subsequent years, which also has brought some awesome experiences for me when I'm able to share. I have been told to move in nasty ways while taking my photos over the years.
I was so glad I had biked around the Dali elephant piece this year with my trusty camera friend at hand (I've taken the same film camera to 8 burns now!) Some angles it blinded me with reflections, others I could make the elephants look even more insanely long legged as I forced the perspectives and positioned the sun behind the elephants. Then I finally found the picture frame with a sofa placed in front of it and saw 2 people peering at the landscape while from my perspective, the elephants were just outside the frame and walking into it to become the famous Dali painting. For me, taking photos and biking were integral parts of my entire experience of that piece of art.
With that said, if you've ever had to deal with model releases, someone using your art for commercial purposes without permission or compensation and other things (yes this is still happening on playa!), it's not always as simple as it might seem. And the way the person asked you to move wasn't cool.
I love to hear that you have found a personal way to Burn best for you.
Facing the fear beast was my fave for sure.
This year was my first bm and I was looking for ya everywhere and never saw u. Love your videos, thank u for preparing me for my first burn 🔥
I missed so much...including you. :(. Glad my videos could help!!
This was my 1st burn and my worst burn. I had a camp but even though it was a themed sector camp there was no conrottery. Just me my fiance and 2 others building and tearing down in whiteout after whiteout by ourselves for 6 days...
That's rough. :(
Wow man.. I also would call this my roughest burn, & there were some strong “Ditto” moments while listening to this.. but my difficulties & maladies were mostly mental/emotional & not medical. I also had (& am having) a hard time remembering the positives & I’m hyper aware of how I fucked up. I sure hope we learn a ton from Lurning Man 2022.. they say “ya get the burn ya need”
thats what happens when they pull the COFFEE from center camp................downward spiral..........for realz
I keep getting knocked down! After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body. Humbling year.
be gentle on yourself while you decompress. being sick with covid can take days to turn up on a rapid test due to low viral load. sounds like you were covid positive at BM, had a fever (why u couldn't regulate your temp), was knocked out of energy, GI issues, experienced covid brain fog, and dealing w exhaustion. glad u survived it out there! 💓
actually, that sounds like a pretty accurate read of my experience!
calistiae, I agree!
I am so sorry your Burning Man was so bad this year. I would be more that happy to help out next year. I am a hard worker, big hugger, and love people and the planet.
We have a system where new campers need to be sponsored by current campers. But maybe you can connect with Pinkies at a Regional or something?
My hardest and weirdest burn to date for myself as well. Meet one of the coolest people though witch made it worth it.
One magic moment/meeting can make all the difference.
What chemicals did you ingest????
I really want to go but I have kidney failure and am on dialysis so I can’t go away without a hospital near more then a day. I feel like I need this as illness has made me really depressed and anxious. I get by with meditation and BM sounds like there is a lot of that aswell as grounding, community and people being positive.
Do you reckon I could go or it would be too hard on my body, being sick.
I would not recommend it for a sick body. A less taxing local Burn might be a better idea. Look up "Regionals" on the Burning Man website.
Facing the Fear Beast was my favorite too! If you saw one art piece this year, I'm glad you saw that one! I agree with others that it really sounds like you got hit with covid while you were out there. I tested positive a couple days after leaving playa and it wiped me OUT. I was so incredibly weak for 4-5 days... still recovering now.
Yikes! After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body. ((HUG))
@@HugNation i feel that! and man that's scary! glad you are starting to feel better!
Great story about the monster/child art piece!! Love Lurning Man!!
I had Covid & tested negative! I felt like I had been drug behind a car! I have a very high pain threshold and Covid kicked my butt! At least my antibodies at 25%!
Def tough this year. I was fortunate to have an off-playa volunteering gig mid-week, breaking up the playa slog.
“What a drag it is getting old (er).”
Hope the good eventually outweighs the bad for you.
Thanks, Basil! As I let go of my expectations I am able to remember more magic. ((HUG))
Thank you for sharing! I took very few photos but I got one of the “Enema” street sign in front of your camp! ❤
I love Burning Man so much, it’s hard for me to imagine it used to be even better before “corrosion” but I hear next year is better!
Fig jam swamp cooler maybe? The heat is no joke!
Sounds like you were going through Covid symptoms on top of the heat when you were out there. You survived!!! please don’t let your hardship this year discourage you for the future💛
Covid symptoms are literally the most common symptoms for everything 😑
I am enigmas friend from camp Walter. We met during the ice cream social. My husband gave you a disco ball necklace.
I saw you again sitting at Walter but I didn’t want to bother you.
I am a nurse and brought all my things. I could have checked your vitals frequently for you and given you an iv with vitamins.
It does sound like you had covid. You usually don’t test positive on a home test until after the virus is strong enough in your nose. I had covid in Greece this summer and I felt very similar. I’m so sorry you went through this.
I’ll always be thankful for the ice cream and the pink heart pin and the business card of course.
Yay! So glad you were able to enjoy ice cream and we were able to connect! It was hard for me to ask for help...but I will be quicker to do so in the future. After Covid quarantine, I went to the ER with intense abdominal pain on Monday. It is only getting better 3 days later. Thank god! I definitely need to be more careful and mindful with this aging body.
Halcyon, fearing for your life is a TRAUMA!
It was definitely a dark chapter.
Im British, im comprehensive, No love your on COME DOWN. XXX LOVE YOU HALCYON X
Godspeed to your recovery. Your words and experience resonates strongly with that of mine ❤️
Thank you, Kyle. ((HUG))
It was my 1st burn and not magical. The excruciating heat made it impossible to venture far during the day without getting heatstroke. I made a bad decision traveling to BRC with the wrong person and staying in a camp where I didn’t know anyone and didn’t feel a real connection between anyone in the camp. Coulda been the heat but it felt like a lot of disconnection throughout. I actually saw a guy throw a cigarette off a golf cart. That level of entitlement seemed to be everywhere. The playa at night is amazing. The art is mind blowing. I had a blast dancing all night. I didn’t have a spiritual awakening but I did have an aha moment of why I like to keep my circle small. Next time I’ll go with that circle and it’ll be better. Pink Heart was on the corner of the street where the camp I was staying was at and your pink was my beacon to find my way back to camp at night. 💕Thank you for the ice cream!
Glad we got to share ice cream! Congrats for surviving.
I heard drinking ice water is actually counter intuitive to lower body temps
That is not my experience, nor is that what I find in the research.
loving you so much. I’m glad you’re okay 💕
Thank you!!
last year was nice.
It was WAY easier, for sure.
Just out of curiosity would you consider doing a mini series of you going to regional burns perhaps in places that have more moderate temperatures. Or for a major challenge go to one of the winter burns.
Edit: I've been psyching myself up to go to a winter burn for the experience. I don't like winter I hate being cold. I still want to go anyway. I'm curious what kind of growth I may have from it.
I'd absolutely consider that!
I apologize if this is some kind of BM faux pas that i dont know about (I'm fairly new to BM culture) but you seem like a kind person who wont shout me down just for asking. I've lived an interesting life, i was homeless for a few years, i was an addict, ive done time in prison. I honestly believe i would bring a unique perspective to BM. However, all i do now is raise my daughter. I've never had much money but now every cent i get goes to her, and rightfully so. Ive lost my community over the years wether it's due to death, prison, moving, or just drifting apart. I literally have no close friends. However, i truly feel a sense of kinship with BM and it's community. I think it's a shame that people who dont have alot of money cant experience BM. Why should the poor miss out? In alot of ways THEY are the exact people who SHOULD be experiencing something like BM for a variety of reasons. So my question is, do you know of any way i can get involved, and contribute to the BM community and experience that doesn't cost an exorbitant amount of money? Sorry for my rambling. I hope to hear from you.
There are regional Burning Man communities and events. if you can connect to your local group, there may be gatherings that are free. But due to the "Radical Self Reliance" Principle, most things require resources of some sort. regionals.burningman.org/
You got sick at B'Man. Bummer. It happens. This last summer drained a lot of people's energy. I had days/weeks where I had no energy at all. STOP TAKING THE SHOT(!) This whole C-Vid deal is teaching us to pay attention to our immune system. We are also aging -- and learning how to not become weaker and less energetic even though we are getting older.
Thanks for sharing this was the first I had to leave early. I felt myself becoming a snark and left early before I was a burden. I had 4 days of wap and was just burnt. I was sick and had to come to terms with that. Next year next year 😊
Way to take care of yourself!
111F for days.......rrrrrrrrrrrrrrough! My radiator went out on the way there- west of Truckee.....ended up swapping out myself. Got to the site at midnight....... then 5-6hr wait............ so no sleep at all first pm. Then several days of high winds- setting up. Fine for a few days after that and then intense H E A T. AC went out- so 6 hrs drive back in 100F plus heat........... so much fun
It was freaking intense.
Survival mode ….glad you made it. Peace and Love.
Amen to that!
At 23:58 .......'I could get a space in my RV down to 90 degrees' .......😂😂😂. Getting sick with the worst killer flu since the Spanish Influenza at a party in the middle of an oven in the desert with no quick escape route to home sounds like pure hell.
This party does not and never did sound like fun to me. Maybe the first few years were? When it was on a beach by the water!
Did you see Hitler while you were in the HELL of burning man? The heat, the COVID,.
dude you had covid, what did you expect, you went full superspreader
heat wave is freaking me out, cant make you happier now
great point about photogs and art. This isn't the Louvre trying to take a pic of the Mona Lisa with a bazillion people in the way.
Right!?!
Halcyon I completely empathize. So many people I know had the hardest burn ever. I’m sure Covid was a huge part of it. I hope that changes will be made to adapt the burn to the realities of climate change. Can it happen in late September or mid June? I hope that those who make these decisions can adapt and not be attached to doing it the same way as always. We all have to make changes and adapt.
Who knows? Luckily there are Regional events all over the world, all year round!
I loved that piece
So good!
Priority #1
Having a rough burn is good for you. Not going to a burn by choice is even better for you. Going home again later is even better. I couldn't get a ticket this year. In the past, I've gone anyway and been able to score a ticket along the way. I haven't attended since 2017. I did 16 years in a row before that. I thought I would die if I missed it. I didn't. The world keeps turning and from what I can tell the festival keeps evolving into something unrecognizable. I've always had the best times, when I showed up with no expectations other than to meet some fascinating people. They are always there. I'm not into the Glam Camps with the Sherpas. I have worked as a cook many times just to earn a ticket not because of cost but because the lack of availability of tickets. I really miss being able to buy a ticket at the gate. I really really really miss the deep playa experience that you used to get when you could walk out into the darkness, the void and just chill alone or with a special person who you want to be alone with. At worst, you'll get run over by an Art Car or mutant vehicle or bicycler who's drunk and riding the blind in the dark and dust. There are more people now so there are more issues for sure. The biggest difference is the quality of the people who show up and what they think and project onto the scene. There definitely used to be a sense of camaraderie that is absent. Most people used to drive out there. You were camping. You roughed it together. You brought so special stuff to share. Now, people jet in. They have servants and chefs , hot showers and Sherpas serving them everyday. That roughing it to make it happen is a huge part of the experience. It makes you appreciate your life at home as well as at "Home." Now, it's become very elitist. It's clicky in a High School way. You used to attend events at a space I lived and managed in L.A. named "Mission Control.' Those were the days! Super fun stuff. I miss that place. It's nice to see you making videos and I hope you will consider and talk about some of the things that I've touched on. Enjoy your decompression. Thank you
Mission Control!!! There was a shift in the awesome:shit ratio this year for sure.
Heard quite a number had Covid! It was also difficult for Rangers trying to find rides for people leaving.
It was brutal on many fronts!
I'm sorry your experience wasn't as magic as that of previous years. But is this the first time this has happened to you? It's a pretty big stretch from that to say that bman has lost some of its magic. I'm sure for others (including myself) it was surprisingly wonderful! When you are sad about your bman experience, it's the absolute worst time to make judgements about the whole event, wouldn't you think? :-)
I have been doing this - and evangelizing- for 24 years. I don't think I'm being judgemental. I am sharing my truth. There was MASSIVE magic in BRC. I know, I worked my ass off to helped create it. But my experience was rougher than it ever has been before. (Have you watched my other videos on Burning Man or on the Burning Man Journal?)
Sending much love 💜
It won’t be your last burn🙏🏼
I think you're right. ((HUG))
"Lick more, bite less". We stopped by in our Mutant vehicle (Arabella, metal phoenix) monday or tuesday night, got some amazing cold water and sat on your furry pink couches, then you appeared and we got to chat a bit and select from the bag. It was a nice early-week/post-build reminder of how the burn goes, how awesome people are and why we go every year. It was a very hard burn for all of us, and you are not alone in swearing it off as the last. In line with not divorcing your parakeet, that decision was also put on hold and we will of course likely be back again to bask in your wonderful pink lit sign.
Awwww... thank you for reminding me of one of those magic moments!! See you next year in the dust.
Pink heart should be on the esplanade💦
Glad you survived this years weather!
I am biased...but i agree!
Thank you for sharing 💖 Thank you for explaining the art, "Facing The Fear Beast" WOOOOWWWW!!!! (I wasn't there this year but that piece sounds incredible and makes so much sense now! The interactive art is so powerful.) Facing that inner demon that puts us down is so important. Speaking of which...there have been many requests for me to talk about my worst burn ever, which just so happened to be my 1st one (2016). I also thought to myself I don't think I can do this again. But I did go again and (now) I think there is so much we can learn from these types of burns, and that others can learn from our experiences too! Burning Man is not always what we want but recognizing the good things when focusing on the bad is so important. Thank you for sharing. I will share mine for sure eventually!! Feel better Halcyon 💞💗💞
Even I was there and missed the positive light part.
Thank you! So true that there is much to learn... it still hurts to pay the price. :)
thanks for the hug after temple burn sunday im sorry for bumping your beverage out of your hand Ill get you back next year! keep burning bright and be well
Bumping is as bumping does. Much love! ((HUG))
💜 meeting you.
Yay! Glad I was okay for that.
Sorry to hear, Halcyon! I'm surprised I even met you during the ice cream day where you came out and gave me a solution for my pee jar, lol. Was I supposed to use the whole thing? It maybe slightly reduced the nastiness but not by much. Still appreciate it, lol. Glad you feel better!
Damn! maybe your pee is nastier than mine. I find a squirt after each dump of the jug keeps it from getting too bad.
Glad you’re okay and so sorry it was a hard one. ❤
Do you think BMorg will eventually move BM back a few weeks? It just keeps getting hotter and hotter.
That would really surprise me. But I don't know what they are thinking most the time :P