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Haven’t watched yet, but I’m sure it’s fire like everything else you do. Just came to say that you have too many zeros in your thumbnail sissy. Unless you were saying 300,000 - in that case the comma is in the wrong place. You da bomb!
@@ToniBryanneTVbachelorette or bachelor party is wild. an exposed man gyrates in front of your face. Strippers. Disease infested strippers. You work so hard to get the girl and keep the girl and have a whole relationship up to the point where you can now call her fiance . However, It only took one night for them (strippers) to get your girl. Nasty work.
My husband and I got married in 2018, and we didn't even break 2k in expenses. We got married at a Japanese botanic garden so the setting was beautiful as it was and I went to Joannes and bought the fabric for my dress and took it to our local cleaners/seamstress and she sewn it together for less than $200. She followed the design of my dream dress. No regrets and no Debt and still married and going strong. ❤
@@TheBlackDorothyZbornakI suppose because those events belong to specific cultures so discourse isn’t among the masses whereas weddings are something any and everyone partake in so a lot more people have some insight about them
As an african, a lot of this fanciness has been the norm since before social media. Expectations have ofcourse been raised, but multiple outfit changes, wedding rehearsals(or just a family gathering the day before), having lots of guests, and some other stuff have always been the norm.
@@tondaniraluswinga2590I don’t think they are denying that but it’s true that many capitalize off of their families and baby content can be very popular. Its not impossible for one to believe that an influencer could be more motivated to have a kid simply to make that kinda content
Event planner here. Listing all the vendors on photos and videos of your wedding doesn’t mean it’s sponsored. You’re just listing all the wonderful vendors who did it. PLUS, in some vendor contracts, if you post photo/video of their work, you must credit them.
I think it's really respectable to give credit to those who made the event happen. Without those people the event wouldn't be what it is. I'm passionate about this, as someone who works in the background for quite a major company you never get the credit you deserve even though you are the cogs that make the company turn xx
My husband and I got married 6 years ago with 20 people and spent like 700 bucks and only took a few pictures. Was one of the best days of my life and so simple.
That's beautiful. Did you get any pushback? How did your family respond?in my community that would be a hard sell which is why I recommend eloping! My parents did it, my sister did it and I also eloped🎉🎉
I always felt if I got married I want something VERY lowkey. My marriage being happy and successful is more important than an expensive wedding. Sorry not sorry.
Yes o. Owambe is the order of the day. Though I will be going for a very simple wedding which I'm still in constant argument about with my yoruba mother.
Some have said, “the bigger and more extravagant the wedding, the higher likelihood it of divorce”. Not to say that having a wedding with a high budget will result in a divorce or anything, just pointing out that sometimes ppl get so caught up in appearances and aesthetic, but don’t think about or seem to put effort into the marriage the ceremony. Like after the wedding, you still need to put effort into the relationship. The same energy it took to court each other to marriage, you still gotta keep the flame going.
@@TomikaKellyThis saying has become so common because the cost of a wedding has a domino effect for a lot of people. One of the leading causes of divorce is financial issues. Meanwhile people have started taking out loans to afford these extravagant weddings. Putting yourself into thousands of dollars of debt on top of whatever debt they already had, isn’t the best foundation for a marriage.
My husband and I got married this past June. We had a church ceremony that took place during our normal Sunday morning worship service, and afterward had a 2-3 hour reception with small bites at our church. We agreed that we could spend no more than $5000 on the whole wedding. Thankfully, our friends and families felt moved to bless us and literally the wedding could not have happened at that budget, without going into debt, had our friends not given so much. It’s so important to have the right people involved in your celebrations, and if it’s a case where you have to go at it alone, there’s nothing wrong with an intimate courthouse wedding and a party in the backyard. Too many people invest thousands into a wedding day and next to nothing in marriage counseling, books, advice… when the wedding ends what matters is who you’ve married. The only thing I regret about my wedding is that I didn’t get enough sleep the night before 😂
My husband and I got married in 2022. We only invited immediate family + their partners and got mixed reactions - some understood that weddings are expensive and some still 'joke' about not being invited. Honestly, do what makes sense for you but also what you're ok to spend/lose financially. We spent extra money on the food, florals (I'm a big plant person), and arranging transportation for the whole family. Because it was a very small wedding, we didn't do a DJ, videography, and we didn't do a bridal/groom party. If you think you'll be fighting about spending X amount of money on this down the line or you'll be paying interest for years to come, don't spend it!
My hubby and I did something similar (but even smaller) back on 2012 (my anniversary is this Friday 😊🥂) People are STILL "joking" about not being there. And we STILL couldn't care LESS! 😂 it's bonded us and we LOVE recalling our "perfect" wedding. we loved every stress-free moment of it. I LOVE that you spent your money the way you wanted to. I'm a flower girl too but I opted for artificial on my wedding day. But not to save money, but so I can keep my bouquet forever. 💐 I still have it, sits in a vase in my she shed. So I get to enjoy it all the time. I pray you have a long and happy marriage 🙏💜🌷 thanks for sharing your story.
@@feliixby - I asked for: monstera and palm leaf for the greens, king protea, ranunculus, cymbidium orchids, garden roses (I had a variety but asked that they also include Juliet roses in the mix) and astilbe!
@@drsdiva Sounds like you also had a beautiful wedding and I'm so happy it was stress-free for you two 🥰We've told our friends if we do a vow renewal down the line, they'll be included then but absolutely no regrets about doing what we did. All the best and happy anniversary!
Because of everything you’re talking about, i’ve seen some people starting to opt into Court house weddings. Cute, simple white dresses for the lady, and nice suites for the guy. Telling their close family and friends, one bouquet for the bride, and maybe hiring a photographer. Super cost-effective it seems and much more personal than the whole big content driven party
I just want to say something about people knowing ahead of time that they're getting engaged: it's a great idea. the healthiest couples I've seen will discuss it ahead of time and already know they've been working toward that point. Maybe the bride-to-be doesn't know the exact moment, but she knows it's coming. I wouldn't say that means it's "orchestrated" or "contrived" or "a set up"; it's clear communication. we all know as women that we don't want to be wearing sweatpants with busted nails in our proposal moment. so it's actually quite thoughtful for the groom-to-be to give her a heads up. edit: Aaaaaand it's a really great thing to have your whole wedding sponsored. good for them, that's really smart! rather be called tacky for tagging a bunch of companies who sponsored than go into debt. you know?
One of my favorite topics to discuss. With the cost of houses and general living expenses going up, save that money for your future. Best save was my dress. I got a nice dusty pink dress on sale at a pageant store. You can order those dresses in any color for a fraction of wedding boutique prices.
My husband and I got married 2 years ago and as Christians, our main wedding goal was to have a Christ-centered wedding over a Pinterest-Perfect wedding. With Christ at the center of everything, our day just flowed so smoothly and there's nothing we regret about our wedding day. And we loved finding different ways we could honor the Lord throughout our wedding day as well. It was such a blessing! ♥ Also as a couple who thrifts, a lot of our wedding decor was secondhand too and we diy'd a lot of things for our wedding as well! ♥
I think the reason people are going all out is because they have the mentality that they only get married once which is understandable, however, Spending a lot of money for one night that will go by so fast is insane.
I wanted to elope but my husband really felt strongly he wanted to have our families there. We spent less than $700 on everything including catering from our favorite restaurant. We had a ceremony in the woods with 21 guest (which still felt like too many lol) and my ring that I adore was $40. The thing that makes a wedding special is how you feel creating special moments and making vows with someone you love. And a stress free wedding is Priceless!
I just had my wedding earlier this year. Planning a full, traditional wedding without a hired planner was stressful, but at the end of the day I would still do it all again. I had a lovely, formal day marrying my best friend and surrounded by friends and family that I either don't get to see every day or may not have in the same place together (due to age, sickness, etc). I think actually planning a wedding gives you a new perspective on them as opposed to not having planned one. I definitely had a different perspective before and after being engaged. What I've learned is to give all couples getting married some grace. If they want a quiet elopement or backyard wedding, then wonderful! If you want a $50k big party, then fantastic! While there are studies out there correlating wedding costs to divorce rates, real life is always more nuanced. I personally know a few people that had extravagant weddings and have toxic marriages, and I also know several people that eloped or got married in their living room that are either divorced or in horrible situations. At the end of the day, do what you and your partner love and can afford and try to focus on a celebration that uplifts your marriage and union!
Yes! Correlation is different from causation. I personally don’t think it’s the specific amount that is the cause for these divorces BUT I do think it’s because people are spending way more than what they actually can. I spent $26k and that might seem like a lot to others but for me it was definitely something I could afford and didn’t affect us financially. Whatever the couple want and agreed on has nothing to do with me though😂
My wedding in March 2023 was $17k. I think we did well considering the average cost of weddings these days and we are not in debt. We did receive some help from parents and a lot in cash gifts. We are very grateful.
Hi There! wedding professional here. i just wanted to chime in on the part when you're discussing the girl tagging all the vendors because it was "sponsored" Majority of the time that isn't the case it is industry standard to tag all vendors involved especially if you're sharing a pro photo from the photographer its usually part of the contract of any vendors that service may appear in the photos that have to be tagged. As far of the other things i agree even as someone who works in this industry.
My thoughts exactly… If I ask you to be in my wedding, I’m covering majority of the expense. If you have preferences outside of my requests, then you can pay… etc etc
Got married in 2021. Spent $500 on everything. Baked/cooked everything ourselves, bought a thrifted wedding dress for $150, and got all our decor from the dollar store and borrowed stuff from my parents (plates, utensils, etc.) Ceremony and venue in my parents backyard (4 acres - blessed they could share), borrowed string lights from my brother in law (he owns a christmas light company). Was everything I ever wanted ❤
Thanks for discussing this. It’s getting outrageous. Weddings were originally intimate events. Also cover having babies for content lol. That’s another one! Whooosh! Announcement photoshoot, gender reveal shoots & parties, baby shower, maternity shoots, baby born, more shoots. Everyone is doing this to compete.
My husband and I had a simple wedding in our backyard, our families cooked and we borrowed event tents, tables, and chairs from my dad. Only things we paid for were decorations, the cake, the photographer, our clothes, and the officiant. It was a beautiful day and everyone was gone by 630pm.
Fall 2020 wedding in my apartment garden with 4 guests (it was the pandemic), decorated with a few pumpkins, i got my burgundy wedding for $80 and had a small dinner afterwards. The most expensive thing was hiring a friend as the photographer (she's a pro). The actual ceremony was maybe 10minutes, and we saved a lot of $. A lot of relatives were upset they couldn't be there, but to this day I don't have regrets. Do what's best for you.
My fiancé and I are planning a wedding now. We are doing a Vegas wedding package. It’s the best way to save money. Just us and a small group of friends and family. No social media gimmicks
My husband and I got married at our dream venue with no regrets. My dress, wedding cake, and decor was also costly, but the memories we shared with friends and family was priceless. In saying that, I do think the wedding industry is out of control, and decor companies especially what you paying stupid money for hired items. Everyone’s wedding on Instagram seems to look the same too. Excessively white with white florals and tall centrepieces. There is pressure to have an “instagrammable” wedding and a highly curated event. It’s becoming a bit cheesy.
We got married 14 years ago. 12 people at the cutest little chapel and we took them to a great restaurant after for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of cake, so i had the best brownie dessert, some people had pie, and my husband had cake. My sister loaned me her wedding dress and since her wedding was a spring wedding and mine was December, i added the cutest faux fur cape and it was practically a whole new dress. When all was said and done, we spent around $800. Money well spent and lots of memories made!
I feel the same way about this topic but about children’s birthday parties because what happens to it just being a nice simple party and now we have to spend thousands of dollars every single year?????!?
If you have the money, I don’t see how this is a problem. Let’s stop pocket watching and focus on our own. If it’s not for you, that’s okay. Reality is those with money have always done this but in private. Social media has just made it public No hate on your video Also bridesmaids/guests, it’s okay to say no if you can’t afford it And for brides/grooms to be up front about what you’re expecting your bridal party to spend
Photographer here, newweds and guests tag the photographer and videographer just to give credit and appreciation eventhough they’re getting paid I also feel like this video was very eurocentric featured. In Asian and African countries having extravagant weddings with multiple steps before the wedding is apart of their culture and has always been a norm. Not everyone goes all out on every stage but yeah. Although I do agree marriage has beed extremely commercialised
Newlywed here! Spent 20k on a 150 person in the south which it’s very expensive here. DIYd alot of things bc I love things like that. I kept it simple but we definitely had to pass on alot that we wanted but by no means did we do anything for social media. Bach was at my house and it was way better than trip would have been! I can see how brides get caught up but it’s not worth going into debt or going without for. We paid for ours cash.
The irony in the fact that divorce rates are through the roof while all of this is happening just can’t be ignored. I’m planning my wedding right now and to be honest I’m staying away from wedding content for this very reason. I try to think of what I want and look for specific things that fit that instead of passively consuming the content surrounding this event. I’m not gonna spend money on sending an elaborate box or extravagant bridesmaids gifts but I am planning on contributing towards their dresses and maybe even make up to ease the financial burden
Yes, same. I got married in June and avoided all the marriage content and didnt post about the wedding until 2 months after it had passed. I planned the whole thing with my mom. Now, after the wedding, since I'm helping my best friend plan hers, I'm getting tons of wedding related content and ads out the wazoo. Definitely ignore all the ads and do things your way with your style. I got my wedding dress at a consignment shop and did the alterations myself and got married at this beautiful place out in the middle of nowhere. Lol But it was gorgeous and everyone had a good time. Don't be afraid to go to non-conventional places, you might be pleasantly surprised. Congrats on your engagement. 🎉🎉
Normalize saying no to financial stress because other people are getting married. This is NOT normal. Normalize borrowing outfits, shoes, accessories etc from friends and family for formalwear. Normalize not attending all 150 events. This is a very new and temporary US tradition. It does NOT have to be. It does not make you any less of a friend And as the bride and groom: Normalize reusable outfits, or decor, or accessories, dried flowers that you can keep, less waste, secondhand or vintage elements, simpler things... It does not make anything look cheaper, it also allows so much creativity and fun. (Coming from a bride who also attended many weddings)
Seeing a lot of comments where people went simpler and minimal and I really think that it comes down to who you two as a couple are plus where you both are financially (or comfortable spending). I recently got married and we fall into the more extravagant category, though not as crazy as influencers. Even from the engagement, it was probably bigger than typical, but that's kind of who we are as a couple? We're both a bit extra and we're both very extroverted, so I think it made sense for us. Plus, we both wanted our guests (a lot flew in and spent a lot to come) to have the best experience, so we went all out. We had the financial talk throughout the entire planning process and took our time (1 year and 10 months). As long as it's about the two of you at the end of the day and what is important to you both, I don't think we should judge anyone for how they do things.
A quick note: it’s common courtesy and best practice in the wedding industry (as a vendor or influencer) to tag all vendors who added something to the photo or video that was shared. This does NOT mean that it was sponsored. Sometimes brands collaborate on events and sometimes it’s a styled shoot. Just because they’re tagged doesn’t mean they provided services for free. Some vendors even explicitly ask to be tagged and mentioned in the caption of photos to clients. It’s just standard practice.
I’m a man and I despise weddings. I’ve been in 3 so far and my cousin just got engaged and I told him str8 up “I love you both but don’t even ask”. What’s not covered in this video is the background infighting and arguments that wreck familial relationships and friendship. I would feel ashamed to play a role in posing a thousand dollar and up financial burden on others for me just for ONE DAY.
I 100% agree!! What happened to the celebration of love! And you can tell it's definitely for views because 1. How much it's sponsored and 2. How they post about all of the pre-wedding events before the actual wedding itself! Even wedding photos have become more glamorized in a way. I feel like I used to see more silly wedding photos where the couple would be smiling and laughing, and they were candid and not staged. Now it just feels more like a staged event than a union. These modern weddings cost about the same price as setting up a concert venue. That's ridiculous. But it is a special day, so no, it shouldn't be dirt-cheap. HOWEVER: I'm so 50/50 on this wedding culture subject. Weddings are one of the biggest life events that you'll ever have. And a lot of people will say, "Oh, it's only just one day." EXACTLY. That's what makes it special. It's supposed to be once-in-a-lifetime, so why not go all out? What other moment of your life will you get the opportunity to go all out like that over something as justified? Never! So me personally, if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it! If you're gonna show up, show out. But overall, a wedding should be what YOU want, and not be influenced by social media. If you want something small, that's fine. If you want something big, that's fine. But just make sure if you wanna go all out, it's because YOU want to. You shouldn't have to break the bank for a wedding, but whenever and if you do ever have the funds to splurge on it, I say why not 🤷🏽♀️
We eloped in 2019. No family. Just an old man minister and two of his old lady neighbors as the witnesses. On a random Monday, that we decided to take off of work the day prior. It was fantastic. Also, he proposed without a ring. After babies & lost rings, he and I only wear those silicone rings off Amazon. I also love it because I wanted something that I would never have to take off.
My husband and I got married at the tail end of the pandemic. We had a simple backyard wedding at my parent’s house. It was the best decision we could have made. It was beautiful and a wonderful memory to have at my childhood home. We also had more money for our honey moon! Which we had a blast! We lived it up!
I’ll start planning my wedding in January. I don't even want a party but my partner is pushing for one. No diamond rings, no bridesmaids, people will be lucky I don’t just send out emails to invite them, no gifts, no destination wedding, 80 people max, no videographer, no bachelorette party, there will be nothing 😂😂😂 I can’t be arsed
Goodness watching the whole thing made me feel even better about my engagement & wedding. My husband proposed on the mountain with just us & my daughter, our “engagement party” was our closest friends & a bottle of champagne… the rehearsal dinner was our rehearsal & catered Qdoba for our families while we sat in basically a conference room & received toasts from our parents & bridal party. We pretty much DIY’d everything. I typed up and printed our invites onto card stock, dyed the table runners, we had framed pics as our centerpieces… I had ONE dress & I refused to take it off it was too beautiful, we had a cash bar, payed for everyone’s food, had yard games & music - it was the perfect day & the less money we spent, the better it was!!!
This is so embarrassing. This is the side of the internet i despise. People are more inlove with going viral and making money than being in life long & lasting relationships. When i get married, it’ll be small and intimate and not many will be there, my theory is.. the louder you are, the more money you spend, the shorter the marriage will last.
my parents were pressured into having a big wedding when they didn't want one (family politics) and always regretted it, so growing up they always told me to just go to city hall. my partner's parents did just go to city hall, so that's our plan. with the current cost of living, I cannot imagine spending that much $$$ or expecting guests or the wedding party to. more of my cousins are deciding to just elope instead of dealing with my big crazy family.
It’s really good that you’re following what you truly want instead of listening to others! My aunt went through the opposite, she felt pressured to get married quick and not go through with a wedding when she really wanted one and regrets not having one. I wanted a wedding ceremony and no matter how many people told me to not do it, I still did it and I’m happy I went through with it😊
Hilarious.. . I got married in Las Vegas at the Justice of the Peace....$50 and out the door 😆... We took the City trolley to the courthouse with one friend of ours.... We needed two witnesses so we got the guy off of the ladder who was changing a light bulb in the hallway to be our second witness lol.... That was in November of 2002 and we are still married LOL
Me and my husband got married in a small castle (outside of wedding season to save money), we did all the decoration ourselves, had a lovely but not 'break the bank' caterer. After covid complications and a few people backing out we hat 23 guests. Had a tower of donuts instead of a cake (saving us around 800 euro). No bachelorette or bachelor party. Invitations and signage done ourselves. We had a beautiful wedding with people we loved and posted a grand total of one wedding picture on facebook. Our honeymoon was a short break to Italy (only a 2 hour drive from us). Big believer in, each to their own. But im glad we did it how we did and still had money in savings after ❤️
My husband and I eloped in February 2020 at a resort in Banff, Alberta. Our little elopement was in the snow and it was beautiful and intimate! We planned to have a reception with family and friends in my parents’ backyard the following August, but of course we were in the middle of Covid and couldn’t make it happen. We were going to try for the next summer, but my Dad passed away in February 2021 2 days after my birthday 😢 We didn’t feel the same sense of urgency for a reception after that. BUT if we had, we would have done some local buffet catering and provided drinks for all of our guests. Weddings are to celebrate your love and union with the person you have chosen. They don’t need to be So elaborate and above your means. I’m happy with my elopement and the nature of it. Love my hubby even more than the day we were married ❤
As an African (Cameroonian) having multiple steps to a wedding, and then multiple weddings (traditional, court, and church weddings) is a part of our culture, they don't have to be expensive, but each wedding is necessary. The traditional wedding means that the union is recognised by your family and kinsmen, the court wedding of course is acknowledged by the law, and the church wedding by God. And we also have things like introduction and "knock door". I think you should look into African weddings, you'll be fascinated. But i cannot deny that influence has played a role in upping the cost of weddings
I had a small wedding on the 31st of Aug. Just us and 16 family members. We regret nothing and everything is paid up. Honestly the thought of "performing" my engagement and wedding seemed exhausting to me. We didnt even have a proposal. We just had a talk one night and decided we want to get married. Please never fall for the idea of your wedding having to go and look a certain way.
My husband and I had a court house wedding, he's in the army and our wedding day was the day he got back from rotation, I went back to my parents and then we had a small ceremony at their house, i got my dress from the flee market for $15! I still have it today and wear it on nice occasions, it honestly was so much less stressful than an actual big wedding and I look back at it wayyyy more fondly😊
Hi! A wedding content creator here! I have noticed that smaller more intimate weddings seem to be becoming more popular. A lot of other people are also just eloping or having a small ceremony than a big reception party and calling it a day
Speaking of rings can we talk about how normalized it is to get a CHUNK OF A DIAMOND nowadays because every influencer flaunts a big ass rock. Not everyone can afford that and it’s OKAY but we need to stop setting our expectations so high. I got judged by one girl because my ring is medium to small sized and she said “omg it’s so small??” Like no actually this is a great size thank you 😂
Like seriously. And what about the girlies who don't even like diamonds and prefer things like gemstones or pearls. Every girl and every relationship is different
I wonder if people might think unconsciously that the money and effort they put into their wedding is reflektive of how much the couple love each or how serious they take their relationship.
I love you Toni. I was stationed at Fort Stewart and I would visit Savannah occasionally, I wish I would’ve met you. You seem like a pure soul. Keep doing great things and shining bright while doing it❤✨
not hating, but some of this just rubs me the wrong way. the entire video is about people using weddings for clout and content, but then you turn around and say you’re starting a podcast and you want people who have been through traumatic experiences on it. you even said that you can’t wait to hear and *share* their experiences. and then you share a positive quote and a bible verse even though you are talking about using people’s trauma for clout. also, to quote a verse from the bible and then promote a sponsor that is basically gambling. especially since a lot of those apps and offers are scams, it is just hard to trust. like i said, no hate… i just think it’s kind of backwards for you to be criticizing other people for using their experiences for clout when you’re basically doing the same thing.
I love your content so much! You’re always speaking on topics that others are afraid of. I never knew how much went into these weddings. I’m overwhelmed and it’s not even me😂😂
omgg. i’m gonna watch the complete vid later but based off the thumbnail ik it’ll be interesting. i’m a huge fan of dance moms and saw that kalani was engaged in one of her posts, but then i was reading her comments and was confused as to why everyone was saying negative things about it. so i’m glad for an explanation lol
Comparison is the thief of joy. Weddings have always had the potential to be ridiculously expensive if you let them. It's a party, that's it. Don't start off your marriage in debt, and don't compare yourself to social media people who are making money off their wedding activities. Theirs is an investment and a tax write off, yours isn't.
I got married last year by proxy (long distance relationship), we were planning a wedding w/a $10k budget in my mind…we ultimately chose to just put that money towards our home & a vacation instead. I didn’t want to spend all that money for fake love and fake friends. Lol.
I think it was a big deal pre social media. My friend’s mom said she invited 800 ppl to her wedding in California. They got married in the early 90’s. It’s just more heightened because of social media. But ppl have always showed out for weddings
getting married in 5 months - big ceremony, slightly smaller reception but still big. i am STRESSED! i wouldn't have a small wedding, but i'd probably keep the ceremony to 300 and reception to 150 if i could have set out my numbers before really planning. still a huge wedding, but smaller than what i'm trying to plan right now
Yeah we don't have the funds and even if we did we would spend it on a house and a baby. Spending 7k on the wedding and having 36 guests. It is a semi destination wedding (6 hour drive to the beach) but that was our #1 priority. I let my bridesmaids pick their dresses, they just had to be the same color. We're not doing any pre wedding parties. We are doing a rehearsal dinner but just having tacos on the beach.
My family looks at me like I’m crazy when I say I want a courthouse wedding and a barbecue with close friends and family as the reception. Besides the money factor I’m not putting myself through the extra STRESS of having a wedding. I really just don’t want one 🤷🏾♀️
Unfortunately all you did was give me more ideas for my wedding season! Extra large jewelry boxes is so much better than regular boxes that will get thrown away! 😅 But seriously I want nice events but I don't think that will break the bank. I'm a pinterest diy girly who loves party planning so I'm throwing multiple parties for sure but it shouldn't bankrupt you. I also think that the bride and groom should pay for most things or just expect people not to come. Great discussion!
My wedding cost a total of $650; my mom sewed my dress and cooked for the reception. Less than 10 people at the wedding, and no photos posted on any social media. Good times ❤
I wanted to do the courthouse. My husband wanted a wedding. So we compromised where we picked the date between both of our birthday and had our officiant marry us in our apartment. Then we just had our wedding Thursday. I honestly loved both and dont regret either. But i definitely wouldve been ok with just getting married in our apartment.
People these days get married for image, status, basically showing off. They rush into things without actually being mature enough to get married. They end up marrying the wrong person, going into debt for an expensive wedding bc they just cared about that instead of the actual marriage itself, then they end up divorced contributing to the crap ratings of large weddings/marriages to divorce. I think the superficiality that people are running with of wedding aesthetics being the most important aspect to them instead of the legitimate relationship, that's what leads to divorce. You can't just marry anyone, people that you're in the honeymoon phase with, initial high of being in a relationship with, being complacent, not doing proper vetting etc. Many people that get married but end up getting divorced already showed red flags prior to the wedding as I've seen from the questions being asked in forums. "He cheated on me, should I still go through with the wedding?" Uh why would you even get started with a marriage with dishonesty? That's the road you're choosing but don't blame religion/marriage for the marriage not working out. "He proposed to me after ten years" - could be a shut up ring. "He lied to me a couple times but he's a changed person" You can't change a man. "We can't get along with personal belief systems but it'll work itself out later" No, it won't, it'll amplify later. The list goes on and on. The way people are dating in life, hooking up, living their everyday life is also preventing them from elevating in life because it's already toxic and superficial from the foundation. Broken people getting married pretty much and they don't wanna recognize this reality. Don't even get me started on what's wrong with the whole "insecurity" aspect of relationships when in reality it's disrespect to your partners to look at opposite genders, being involved with them, having bachelorette parties where you're heading to strip clubs and having a last "hurrah". People aren't ready for this conversation. Are you getting married to party and cross something off of your list? Are you getting married to fit in with your other married friends or family? Are you getting married to compete with other weddings? Are you trying to get your wedding on social media/ vogue? Are you getting married bc you feel like you're getting old and should? Are you getting married bc you feel an attraction to a person or simply want to have kids? These are the questions that can determine your intentions. Get off pinterest, stop watching wedding tiktoks, and focus on bettering yourself- genuinely. Bettering yourself not by being lavish or crossing things off lists, but genuinely being real. Learn to be humble, process what your actions are for, and this kind of stuff is serious, more than just image and partying or puppy love. Marriage is serious and if you're not ready, don't. Hearing the reesa teesa stories results from the things that I said above which is rushing and not thinking things through properly.
As for wedding style/type, I don't think there is an issue with someone wanting a large wedding, small wedding, elopements, destination weddings, no wedding, vegas wedding, courthouse, whatever it may be. That's not the point of the wedding. As long as your intention is correct, what you choose will be based on your situation as it allows and culture. There is no better or worse kind of wedding because it's subjective. Some people have toxic family members or passed individuals whereas other people have a loving tight knit family. Some people have supportive circles whereas other's don't. Some people love planning and other's don't and feel stressed by it. These things will impact your choice for what you prefer. Your relationship and situation is unique so you will choose what is best for you guys and there is no judgement with what kind of wedding you choose to have. If you want a simple one or a luxe one, that's because you find it attractive and is what fits you. It's not up to the general public to decide or put values on your choice and what you decide to do with your income. I mean, would we start doing the same for if you had a nice car or nice house or things like that? Where we put our investments into depends on us. Some prefer to put it into traveling and honeymoons but what if someone hates traveling and honeymoons and prefer to have a nice big wedding in their hometown? It's just a preference and I hope we are all mature enough to respect it.
I knew wedding culture was bad but I didn't realize it was THIS bad. I got married three years ago. We spent about $20,000 in total. I got my beautiful dress from a highly rated bridal shop near me for about $1,500. I didn't even have a wedding planner, I planned the whole thing myself. I don't know where my husband got my ring, but it's also beautiful and wasn't crazy expensive (not that I cared about the price anyway) and we got our wedding bands from Jared. We had a fantastic time with what we spent and some of our friends and family told me it was one pf the best weddings they'd ever been to. I can't imagine spending $50k-$100k+ on a wedding. That's just insane.
I love the bachelorette Shenanigans! I would definitely honor my last time having my name (I not having both lol). Plus when you get married and have kids, people disappear to responsibilities. I want to def spoil myself as a just me because it won't be anymore. As far as events, if you have the cash go for it! I love a good party! I wouldn't care either way. Small intimate, big and crazy, as long as you love each other and it's healthy
i think its REALLY stupid to spend a lot of money for your wedding. people say “you only get married once” but that’s bs since.. most end up divorcing anyways. how can you have a happy healthy relationship when you’re only focused on the monetary value and how others perceive it. not to mention, get married after knowing someone for less than a year. sometimes it works but bffr. that’s just my opinion tho
Both me and my husband were in the military when we got married. Our family is in North Carolina and Puerto Rico while we lived in Georgia so we did a small wedding at a park with immediate family only and had a picnic as a reception with the intention of renewing our vows five years in and doing the big thing then. We are 10 years into our marriage 2 kids and we have zero intention of doing another wedding. I rather use the money to travel lol
My husband and I got married in 2022 and didn’t even break $4000 also my dad paid for mostly everything which was really sweet. The most expensive part of my wedding was my dress. The theme was 1920s Great Gatsby and we had around 50 guests and it was still so much fun! We had soooo many vendors coming up to us saying that this was the best and funnest wedding they’d ever been to and that they could really feel the love between everybody. I say all this to say you don’t have to break the bank to have a genuine wedding!!! I feel like a lot of ppl now days are just about how they look on social media. Do they even love the person or are they doing it to stunt on their social media friends?
Those companies should be sponsoring folks who cant afford it, smh. Theyd get much more love doing that. For me, I like unique weddings. Aquarium, museum, botanical gardens etc
Those brides milking aaaaall the attention they can have and stretching the celebration fromn a day to a full YEAR... I can't, nobody can tell me it's about love and their partner...
Literally got married at the courthouse with my 8 family members and then had a celebration reception with family after. Also got to go to Panama city Florida for my honeymoon for an entire week. All of that only cost $1000 for us put of pocket for everything even my dress. I set up a honeymoon fund instead of gifts and got $3000 that paid for my honeymoon, food on the honeymoon, and gas for the drive down to Florida and back. Didn't use a photographer only had my cousin take photos with her phone which turned out awesome, did a potluck for food, got everything decor second hand and cake from Kroger. Rings were from amazon and I did my own hair and makeup . Also saved money by not having alcohol . If you take off all the bells and whistles of extra stuff you can have a wedding .
The thing about these new traditions is , I like them. They're fun and have the potential to be fun memories between more than the couple. However, most people are only indulging in bridesmaids proposals and engagement dinners for the extravagance and social media validation. Engagement parties and rehearsal dinners to me aren't new, my family has always done them, but they were always intimate/casual (depending on the family member done at relatives house). Weddings are already expensive, so splurging before is outrageous, especially when all these events are DIY-able and cheap if not for the need to flex money for people online.
I definitely want a more intimate wedding. Even if I had $80,000 of free money to blow on a big wedding, the stress of planning it and all the people to invite would make me still want a smaller wedding lol I’d love to attend big weddings for those that want them but I do not want to be at the forefront in them lol I’ve already thought of ways to tell the extra people who think they should be invited that they’re not invited 😂 At this point I kinda wanna elope lol I really don’t care much about the wedding. I care about the marriage.
I’ve looked this up and a lot of destination weddings are way cheaper than in the US. In Mexico you can get packages for weddings for $5000 and it goes up for higher tiers obviously.
I really don't understand the need to have a wedding for others to see. I think the intimacy of marrying your other half with only those you care most about is one of the best parts of actually getting married.
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Haven’t watched yet, but I’m sure it’s fire like everything else you do. Just came to say that you have too many zeros in your thumbnail sissy. Unless you were saying 300,000 - in that case the comma is in the wrong place. You da bomb!
@@charmaineroan937 omg thank you, that was a typo lol
Wait, they offer stuff for partner bonuses ?! >.>
@@ToniBryanneTVbachelorette or bachelor party is wild. an exposed man gyrates in front of your face. Strippers. Disease infested strippers. You work so hard to get the girl and keep the girl and have a whole relationship up to the point where you can now call her fiance . However, It only took one night for them (strippers) to get your girl. Nasty work.
@@ToniBryanneTVyou’re even prettier in glasses
My husband and I got married in 2018, and we didn't even break 2k in expenses. We got married at a Japanese botanic garden so the setting was beautiful as it was and I went to Joannes and bought the fabric for my dress and took it to our local cleaners/seamstress and she sewn it together for less than $200. She followed the design of my dream dress. No regrets and no Debt and still married and going strong. ❤
Please share your best tips and tricks. I'd love to hear them, I wouldn't want to spend that much on a wedding either
Mightytie I know this is late but could you share some tips please
Less money on the wedding, more money on the honeymoon ✨
Hell yeah
Why do folks only have this energy with weddings and not Quinceañeras, bar/bat mitzvahs or sweet 16s. Let people spend on what they like!
@@TheBlackDorothyZbornak My comment is about weddings because the video is about weddings.
Yesss 🙌🏻🙌🏻
@@TheBlackDorothyZbornakI suppose because those events belong to specific cultures so discourse isn’t among the masses whereas weddings are something any and everyone partake in so a lot more people have some insight about them
As an african, a lot of this fanciness has been the norm since before social media. Expectations have ofcourse been raised, but multiple outfit changes, wedding rehearsals(or just a family gathering the day before), having lots of guests, and some other stuff have always been the norm.
^ very true
Yep!
Fellow African here. You tell no lies.
The funding however is different. It's more of a communal effort or the family member in the West pays for most of the costs 😅
Exactly
This is how I feel about influencers having babies! It sounds so bad but some really give off the vibe of doing it for views :(
Agreed.
Oh yes hun. It is NOT farfetched to think like that
Then you are not stepping outside and touching grass. Influencers are people too so natural life experiences will happen to them.
@@tondaniraluswinga2590I don’t think they are denying that but it’s true that many capitalize off of their families and baby content can be very popular. Its not impossible for one to believe that an influencer could be more motivated to have a kid simply to make that kinda content
Event planner here. Listing all the vendors on photos and videos of your wedding doesn’t mean it’s sponsored. You’re just listing all the wonderful vendors who did it. PLUS, in some vendor contracts, if you post photo/video of their work, you must credit them.
I came here to say the same thing
I came here to say this exact same thing.
I think it's really respectable to give credit to those who made the event happen. Without those people the event wouldn't be what it is. I'm passionate about this, as someone who works in the background for quite a major company you never get the credit you deserve even though you are the cogs that make the company turn xx
My husband and I got married 6 years ago with 20 people and spent like 700 bucks and only took a few pictures. Was one of the best days of my life and so simple.
That's beautiful. Did you get any pushback? How did your family respond?in my community that would be a hard sell which is why I recommend eloping! My parents did it, my sister did it and I also eloped🎉🎉
@@MegaDiva1999our family was super supportive of it! They are laid back and easy going so whatever we wanted to do they went with the flow.
Love this look. Very professional, very classy. How you show up to the interview is how you show up to work 😂
😂😂😂thank you!! Getting more into wearing my glasses
girl the urge I’m fighting to not say demure 😭 tiktok done did some damages
😂😂@@angelicart.6
@ToniBryanneTV adorable! super cute
😂😂😂
I always felt if I got married I want something VERY lowkey. My marriage being happy and successful is more important than an expensive wedding. Sorry not sorry.
Same
Righttt
Yup. Too many people focus too much on the wedding instead of the marriage itself.
As a nigerian/african, weddings in our culture are always so extravaganza and lavish. For me, though, I would love a simple wedding .
The cultural struggles are real
Exactly what I was thinking. We do two ceremonies that are two days, the traditional and white, so it’s already a lot in itself 😂
Yes o. Owambe is the order of the day. Though I will be going for a very simple wedding which I'm still in constant argument about with my yoruba mother.
My husband & I got married in our first apartment. His parents & siblings. My parents and siblings. Been happily married for 11 years 😌
❤
❤❤😍
Boss!❤
Some have said, “the bigger and more extravagant the wedding, the higher likelihood it of divorce”. Not to say that having a wedding with a high budget will result in a divorce or anything, just pointing out that sometimes ppl get so caught up in appearances and aesthetic, but don’t think about or seem to put effort into the marriage the ceremony. Like after the wedding, you still need to put effort into the relationship. The same energy it took to court each other to marriage, you still gotta keep the flame going.
You definitely have to put effort into your marriage, but this has nothing to do with the cost of your wedding.
@@TomikaKellyThis saying has become so common because the cost of a wedding has a domino effect for a lot of people. One of the leading causes of divorce is financial issues. Meanwhile people have started taking out loans to afford these extravagant weddings. Putting yourself into thousands of dollars of debt on top of whatever debt they already had, isn’t the best foundation for a marriage.
My husband and I got married this past June. We had a church ceremony that took place during our normal Sunday morning worship service, and afterward had a 2-3 hour reception with small bites at our church. We agreed that we could spend no more than $5000 on the whole wedding. Thankfully, our friends and families felt moved to bless us and literally the wedding could not have happened at that budget, without going into debt, had our friends not given so much. It’s so important to have the right people involved in your celebrations, and if it’s a case where you have to go at it alone, there’s nothing wrong with an intimate courthouse wedding and a party in the backyard. Too many people invest thousands into a wedding day and next to nothing in marriage counseling, books, advice… when the wedding ends what matters is who you’ve married. The only thing I regret about my wedding is that I didn’t get enough sleep the night before 😂
Your wedding sounds beautiful! I love the idea of a Sunday wedding 🤍
My husband and I got married in 2022. We only invited immediate family + their partners and got mixed reactions - some understood that weddings are expensive and some still 'joke' about not being invited. Honestly, do what makes sense for you but also what you're ok to spend/lose financially. We spent extra money on the food, florals (I'm a big plant person), and arranging transportation for the whole family. Because it was a very small wedding, we didn't do a DJ, videography, and we didn't do a bridal/groom party. If you think you'll be fighting about spending X amount of money on this down the line or you'll be paying interest for years to come, don't spend it!
May I ask the type of flowers you choose for your wedding? 😊
My hubby and I did something similar (but even smaller) back on 2012 (my anniversary is this Friday 😊🥂)
People are STILL "joking" about not being there.
And we STILL couldn't care LESS! 😂
it's bonded us and we LOVE recalling our "perfect" wedding.
we loved every stress-free moment of it.
I LOVE that you spent your money the way you wanted to.
I'm a flower girl too but I opted for artificial on my wedding day. But not to save money, but so I can keep my bouquet forever. 💐
I still have it, sits in a vase in my she shed. So I get to enjoy it all the time.
I pray you have a long and happy marriage 🙏💜🌷 thanks for sharing your story.
@@feliixby - I asked for: monstera and palm leaf for the greens, king protea, ranunculus, cymbidium orchids, garden roses (I had a variety but asked that they also include Juliet roses in the mix) and astilbe!
@@drsdiva Sounds like you also had a beautiful wedding and I'm so happy it was stress-free for you two 🥰We've told our friends if we do a vow renewal down the line, they'll be included then but absolutely no regrets about doing what we did. All the best and happy anniversary!
Because of everything you’re talking about, i’ve seen some people starting to opt into Court house weddings. Cute, simple white dresses for the lady, and nice suites for the guy. Telling their close family and friends, one bouquet for the bride, and maybe hiring a photographer. Super cost-effective it seems and much more personal than the whole big content driven party
I just want to say something about people knowing ahead of time that they're getting engaged: it's a great idea. the healthiest couples I've seen will discuss it ahead of time and already know they've been working toward that point. Maybe the bride-to-be doesn't know the exact moment, but she knows it's coming. I wouldn't say that means it's "orchestrated" or "contrived" or "a set up"; it's clear communication. we all know as women that we don't want to be wearing sweatpants with busted nails in our proposal moment. so it's actually quite thoughtful for the groom-to-be to give her a heads up.
edit: Aaaaaand it's a really great thing to have your whole wedding sponsored. good for them, that's really smart! rather be called tacky for tagging a bunch of companies who sponsored than go into debt. you know?
i agree but there are also engagements that are orchestrated to look good for social media. i’m sure that number is slim, tho
Yall my friends wedding…was featured in Vogue…her wedding was so beautiful…I looked at my man and was like “let’s elope”😂😂
One of my favorite topics to discuss. With the cost of houses and general living expenses going up, save that money for your future. Best save was my dress. I got a nice dusty pink dress on sale at a pageant store. You can order those dresses in any color for a fraction of wedding boutique prices.
Thank you for that insight 😊
oooooh thank you! pageant dresses.... noted.
My husband and I got married 2 years ago and as Christians, our main wedding goal was to have a Christ-centered wedding over a Pinterest-Perfect wedding. With Christ at the center of everything, our day just flowed so smoothly and there's nothing we regret about our wedding day. And we loved finding different ways we could honor the Lord throughout our wedding day as well. It was such a blessing! ♥ Also as a couple who thrifts, a lot of our wedding decor was secondhand too and we diy'd a lot of things for our wedding as well! ♥
I think the reason people are going all out is because they have the mentality that they only get married once which is understandable, however, Spending a lot of money for one night that will go by so fast is insane.
I wanted to elope but my husband really felt strongly he wanted to have our families there. We spent less than $700 on everything including catering from our favorite restaurant. We had a ceremony in the woods with 21 guest (which still felt like too many lol) and my ring that I adore was $40. The thing that makes a wedding special is how you feel creating special moments and making vows with someone you love. And a stress free wedding is Priceless!
I just had my wedding earlier this year. Planning a full, traditional wedding without a hired planner was stressful, but at the end of the day I would still do it all again. I had a lovely, formal day marrying my best friend and surrounded by friends and family that I either don't get to see every day or may not have in the same place together (due to age, sickness, etc). I think actually planning a wedding gives you a new perspective on them as opposed to not having planned one. I definitely had a different perspective before and after being engaged. What I've learned is to give all couples getting married some grace. If they want a quiet elopement or backyard wedding, then wonderful! If you want a $50k big party, then fantastic! While there are studies out there correlating wedding costs to divorce rates, real life is always more nuanced. I personally know a few people that had extravagant weddings and have toxic marriages, and I also know several people that eloped or got married in their living room that are either divorced or in horrible situations. At the end of the day, do what you and your partner love and can afford and try to focus on a celebration that uplifts your marriage and union!
Yes! Correlation is different from causation. I personally don’t think it’s the specific amount that is the cause for these divorces BUT I do think it’s because people are spending way more than what they actually can. I spent $26k and that might seem like a lot to others but for me it was definitely something I could afford and didn’t affect us financially. Whatever the couple want and agreed on has nothing to do with me though😂
I agree
My wedding in March 2023 was $17k. I think we did well considering the average cost of weddings these days and we are not in debt. We did receive some help from parents and a lot in cash gifts. We are very grateful.
Hi There! wedding professional here. i just wanted to chime in on the part when you're discussing the girl tagging all the vendors because it was "sponsored" Majority of the time that isn't the case it is industry standard to tag all vendors involved especially if you're sharing a pro photo from the photographer its usually part of the contract of any vendors that service may appear in the photos that have to be tagged. As far of the other things i agree even as someone who works in this industry.
If I ask someone to be my bridesmaid, I’m paying for their dress! Period.
My thoughts exactly…
If I ask you to be in my wedding, I’m covering majority of the expense. If you have preferences outside of my requests, then you can pay… etc etc
@@apmg924same! I’m planning to have a destination wedding whenever that happens and I want to pay for their dress and shoes at least.
So, if someone asks you to be their bridesmaid but says they can't pay for your bridesmaid dress, how would you feel about that?
@@chantellea9938 I would pay… but personally I feel if you’re being asked then the expense should be covered. But I’ll pay if asked.
Got married in 2021. Spent $500 on everything. Baked/cooked everything ourselves, bought a thrifted wedding dress for $150, and got all our decor from the dollar store and borrowed stuff from my parents (plates, utensils, etc.)
Ceremony and venue in my parents backyard (4 acres - blessed they could share), borrowed string lights from my brother in law (he owns a christmas light company). Was everything I ever wanted ❤
All of this❤❤❤
I seriously can’t express how much I love this woman. She inspires me so much and I hope to grow and be as wise as she is.
Thank you sooo much for your love💗 just by you spreading positivity, I just know you’re a wonderful person. You will become everything you desire!
@@ToniBryanneTV ❤️☺️
Thanks for discussing this. It’s getting outrageous. Weddings were originally intimate events. Also cover having babies for content lol. That’s another one! Whooosh! Announcement photoshoot, gender reveal shoots & parties, baby shower, maternity shoots, baby born, more shoots. Everyone is doing this to compete.
My husband and I had a simple wedding in our backyard, our families cooked and we borrowed event tents, tables, and chairs from my dad. Only things we paid for were decorations, the cake, the photographer, our clothes, and the officiant. It was a beautiful day and everyone was gone by 630pm.
Everyone being gone by 6:30pm seems so nice tbh. I don't understand weddings ending soooo late
Fall 2020 wedding in my apartment garden with 4 guests (it was the pandemic), decorated with a few pumpkins, i got my burgundy wedding for $80 and had a small dinner afterwards. The most expensive thing was hiring a friend as the photographer (she's a pro). The actual ceremony was maybe 10minutes, and we saved a lot of $. A lot of relatives were upset they couldn't be there, but to this day I don't have regrets. Do what's best for you.
My fiancé and I are planning a wedding now. We are doing a Vegas wedding package. It’s the best way to save money. Just us and a small group of friends and family. No social media gimmicks
You just gave me a great idea. I looked up the packages and shooot $600?? Yes ma’am !
You’re going to love it. It’s not tacky as some would have you think. We did Vegas Weddings and they were fantastic!
To each their own. the small weddings you showcased at the end were heartwarming
ALL of the weddings and wedding related events showcased in this video were heartwarming. 🤗
16:45 I always thought rehearsal dinners were like “okay guys, we’ve rehearsed enough, let’s go get something to eat. Where do you recon? Elly Bs?” 💀
I thought the same thing as well 😂😂😂
My dad proposed to my mom with a Pokémon squirtle toy (the ring was on its tail)
Just adorable. 🥹😭
That the type of engagement you'll remember for a lifetime but it's super sweet. ❤
I love squirtle the Pokemon, that's one of the best engagements I've heard so far besides the ones mentioned in the video.
That’s adorable. 🥰.
My husband and I got married at our dream venue with no regrets. My dress, wedding cake, and decor was also costly, but the memories we shared with friends and family was priceless. In saying that, I do think the wedding industry is out of control, and decor companies especially what you paying stupid money for hired items. Everyone’s wedding on Instagram seems to look the same too. Excessively white with white florals and tall centrepieces. There is pressure to have an “instagrammable” wedding and a highly curated event. It’s becoming a bit cheesy.
Video starts at 3:04
Thank you because what the hell.
Though I liked the book club idea.
There goes my hero 🎶
It’s crazy because 50% of the marriages in the us end on divorce lol
Getting debt for 1 day and then getting divorce 3 years after
I think its more like 60/40 but point still stands
It’s actually 42% now but yes!
We got married 14 years ago. 12 people at the cutest little chapel and we took them to a great restaurant after for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of cake, so i had the best brownie dessert, some people had pie, and my husband had cake. My sister loaned me her wedding dress and since her wedding was a spring wedding and mine was December, i added the cutest faux fur cape and it was practically a whole new dress. When all was said and done, we spent around $800. Money well spent and lots of memories made!
I feel the same way about this topic but about children’s birthday parties because what happens to it just being a nice simple party and now we have to spend thousands of dollars every single year?????!?
If you have the money, I don’t see how this is a problem. Let’s stop pocket watching and focus on our own. If it’s not for you, that’s okay. Reality is those with money have always done this but in private. Social media has just made it public
No hate on your video
Also bridesmaids/guests, it’s okay to say no if you can’t afford it
And for brides/grooms to be up front about what you’re expecting your bridal party to spend
exactly
Photographer here, newweds and guests tag the photographer and videographer just to give credit and appreciation eventhough they’re getting paid
I also feel like this video was very eurocentric featured. In Asian and African countries having extravagant weddings with multiple steps before the wedding is apart of their culture and has always been a norm. Not everyone goes all out on every stage but yeah. Although I do agree marriage has beed extremely commercialised
Newlywed here! Spent 20k on a 150 person in the south which it’s very expensive here. DIYd alot of things bc I love things like that. I kept it simple but we definitely had to pass on alot that we wanted but by no means did we do anything for social media. Bach was at my house and it was way better than trip would have been! I can see how brides get caught up but it’s not worth going into debt or going without for. We paid for ours cash.
The irony in the fact that divorce rates are through the roof while all of this is happening just can’t be ignored. I’m planning my wedding right now and to be honest I’m staying away from wedding content for this very reason. I try to think of what I want and look for specific things that fit that instead of passively consuming the content surrounding this event. I’m not gonna spend money on sending an elaborate box or extravagant bridesmaids gifts but I am planning on contributing towards their dresses and maybe even make up to ease the financial burden
Yes, same. I got married in June and avoided all the marriage content and didnt post about the wedding until 2 months after it had passed. I planned the whole thing with my mom. Now, after the wedding, since I'm helping my best friend plan hers, I'm getting tons of wedding related content and ads out the wazoo. Definitely ignore all the ads and do things your way with your style. I got my wedding dress at a consignment shop and did the alterations myself and got married at this beautiful place out in the middle of nowhere. Lol But it was gorgeous and everyone had a good time. Don't be afraid to go to non-conventional places, you might be pleasantly surprised. Congrats on your engagement. 🎉🎉
Normalize saying no to financial stress because other people are getting married. This is NOT normal.
Normalize borrowing outfits, shoes, accessories etc from friends and family for formalwear.
Normalize not attending all 150 events. This is a very new and temporary US tradition. It does NOT have to be.
It does not make you any less of a friend
And as the bride and groom:
Normalize reusable outfits, or decor, or accessories, dried flowers that you can keep, less waste, secondhand or vintage elements, simpler things... It does not make anything look cheaper, it also allows so much creativity and fun.
(Coming from a bride who also attended many weddings)
Seeing a lot of comments where people went simpler and minimal and I really think that it comes down to who you two as a couple are plus where you both are financially (or comfortable spending). I recently got married and we fall into the more extravagant category, though not as crazy as influencers. Even from the engagement, it was probably bigger than typical, but that's kind of who we are as a couple? We're both a bit extra and we're both very extroverted, so I think it made sense for us. Plus, we both wanted our guests (a lot flew in and spent a lot to come) to have the best experience, so we went all out. We had the financial talk throughout the entire planning process and took our time (1 year and 10 months). As long as it's about the two of you at the end of the day and what is important to you both, I don't think we should judge anyone for how they do things.
The juxtaposition between having a Bible verse followed by a gambling add 🎰
Not a gambling ad, it’s an app. Hope this helps!
A quick note: it’s common courtesy and best practice in the wedding industry (as a vendor or influencer) to tag all vendors who added something to the photo or video that was shared. This does NOT mean that it was sponsored. Sometimes brands collaborate on events and sometimes it’s a styled shoot. Just because they’re tagged doesn’t mean they provided services for free. Some vendors even explicitly ask to be tagged and mentioned in the caption of photos to clients. It’s just standard practice.
yup! it was in our video/photographer contracts. also helps them with business! i have found vendors because other people tagged them.
I’m a man and I despise weddings. I’ve been in 3 so far and my cousin just got engaged and I told him str8 up “I love you both but don’t even ask”. What’s not covered in this video is the background infighting and arguments that wreck familial relationships and friendship. I would feel ashamed to play a role in posing a thousand dollar and up financial burden on others for me just for ONE DAY.
I 100% agree!! What happened to the celebration of love! And you can tell it's definitely for views because 1. How much it's sponsored and 2. How they post about all of the pre-wedding events before the actual wedding itself! Even wedding photos have become more glamorized in a way. I feel like I used to see more silly wedding photos where the couple would be smiling and laughing, and they were candid and not staged. Now it just feels more like a staged event than a union. These modern weddings cost about the same price as setting up a concert venue. That's ridiculous. But it is a special day, so no, it shouldn't be dirt-cheap.
HOWEVER:
I'm so 50/50 on this wedding culture subject. Weddings are one of the biggest life events that you'll ever have. And a lot of people will say, "Oh, it's only just one day." EXACTLY. That's what makes it special. It's supposed to be once-in-a-lifetime, so why not go all out? What other moment of your life will you get the opportunity to go all out like that over something as justified? Never! So me personally, if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it! If you're gonna show up, show out. But overall, a wedding should be what YOU want, and not be influenced by social media. If you want something small, that's fine. If you want something big, that's fine. But just make sure if you wanna go all out, it's because YOU want to. You shouldn't have to break the bank for a wedding, but whenever and if you do ever have the funds to splurge on it, I say why not 🤷🏽♀️
As someone born prior to social media, the main difference is exposure. Half of these concepts have been the norm for decades.
I’m overwhelmed just by listening to this video. I’m an introvert so I’ve always wondered if marriage was even a thing for me.
We eloped in 2019. No family. Just an old man minister and two of his old lady neighbors as the witnesses. On a random Monday, that we decided to take off of work the day prior.
It was fantastic.
Also, he proposed without a ring. After babies & lost rings, he and I only wear those silicone rings off Amazon. I also love it because I wanted something that I would never have to take off.
My husband and I got married at the tail end of the pandemic. We had a simple backyard wedding at my parent’s house. It was the best decision we could have made. It was beautiful and a wonderful memory to have at my childhood home. We also had more money for our honey moon! Which we had a blast! We lived it up!
I’ll start planning my wedding in January.
I don't even want a party but my partner is pushing for one.
No diamond rings, no bridesmaids, people will be lucky I don’t just send out emails to invite them, no gifts, no destination wedding, 80 people max, no videographer, no bachelorette party, there will be nothing 😂😂😂
I can’t be arsed
Goodness watching the whole thing made me feel even better about my engagement & wedding. My husband proposed on the mountain with just us & my daughter, our “engagement party” was our closest friends & a bottle of champagne… the rehearsal dinner was our rehearsal & catered Qdoba for our families while we sat in basically a conference room & received toasts from our parents & bridal party. We pretty much DIY’d everything. I typed up and printed our invites onto card stock, dyed the table runners, we had framed pics as our centerpieces… I had ONE dress & I refused to take it off it was too beautiful, we had a cash bar, payed for everyone’s food, had yard games & music - it was the perfect day & the less money we spent, the better it was!!!
This is so embarrassing. This is the side of the internet i despise. People are more inlove with going viral and making money than being in life long & lasting relationships. When i get married, it’ll be small and intimate and not many will be there, my theory is.. the louder you are, the more money you spend, the shorter the marriage will last.
my parents were pressured into having a big wedding when they didn't want one (family politics) and always regretted it, so growing up they always told me to just go to city hall. my partner's parents did just go to city hall, so that's our plan. with the current cost of living, I cannot imagine spending that much $$$ or expecting guests or the wedding party to. more of my cousins are deciding to just elope instead of dealing with my big crazy family.
It’s really good that you’re following what you truly want instead of listening to others! My aunt went through the opposite, she felt pressured to get married quick and not go through with a wedding when she really wanted one and regrets not having one. I wanted a wedding ceremony and no matter how many people told me to not do it, I still did it and I’m happy I went through with it😊
Hilarious.. . I got married in Las Vegas at the Justice of the Peace....$50 and out the door 😆... We took the City trolley to the courthouse with one friend of ours.... We needed two witnesses so we got the guy off of the ladder who was changing a light bulb in the hallway to be our second witness lol.... That was in November of 2002 and we are still married LOL
Me and my husband got married in a small castle (outside of wedding season to save money), we did all the decoration ourselves, had a lovely but not 'break the bank' caterer. After covid complications and a few people backing out we hat 23 guests. Had a tower of donuts instead of a cake (saving us around 800 euro). No bachelorette or bachelor party. Invitations and signage done ourselves. We had a beautiful wedding with people we loved and posted a grand total of one wedding picture on facebook. Our honeymoon was a short break to Italy (only a 2 hour drive from us).
Big believer in, each to their own. But im glad we did it how we did and still had money in savings after ❤️
My husband and I eloped in February 2020 at a resort in Banff, Alberta. Our little elopement was in the snow and it was beautiful and intimate! We planned to have a reception with family and friends in my parents’ backyard the following August, but of course we were in the middle of Covid and couldn’t make it happen. We were going to try for the next summer, but my Dad passed away in February 2021 2 days after my birthday 😢 We didn’t feel the same sense of urgency for a reception after that. BUT if we had, we would have done some local buffet catering and provided drinks for all of our guests. Weddings are to celebrate your love and union with the person you have chosen. They don’t need to be So elaborate and above your means. I’m happy with my elopement and the nature of it. Love my hubby even more than the day we were married ❤
As an African (Cameroonian) having multiple steps to a wedding, and then multiple weddings (traditional, court, and church weddings) is a part of our culture, they don't have to be expensive, but each wedding is necessary. The traditional wedding means that the union is recognised by your family and kinsmen, the court wedding of course is acknowledged by the law, and the church wedding by God. And we also have things like introduction and "knock door". I think you should look into African weddings, you'll be fascinated. But i cannot deny that influence has played a role in upping the cost of weddings
I had a small wedding on the 31st of Aug. Just us and 16 family members. We regret nothing and everything is paid up.
Honestly the thought of "performing" my engagement and wedding seemed exhausting to me. We didnt even have a proposal.
We just had a talk one night and decided we want to get married. Please never fall for the idea of your wedding having to go and look a certain way.
people usually tag their wedding vendors as a recommendation, not bc they are sponsored
My husband and I had a court house wedding, he's in the army and our wedding day was the day he got back from rotation, I went back to my parents and then we had a small ceremony at their house, i got my dress from the flee market for $15! I still have it today and wear it on nice occasions, it honestly was so much less stressful than an actual big wedding and I look back at it wayyyy more fondly😊
Hi! A wedding content creator here! I have noticed that smaller more intimate weddings seem to be becoming more popular. A lot of other people are also just eloping or having a small ceremony than a big reception party and calling it a day
Speaking of rings can we talk about how normalized it is to get a CHUNK OF A DIAMOND nowadays because every influencer flaunts a big ass rock. Not everyone can afford that and it’s OKAY but we need to stop setting our expectations so high. I got judged by one girl because my ring is medium to small sized and she said “omg it’s so small??” Like no actually this is a great size thank you 😂
Like seriously. And what about the girlies who don't even like diamonds and prefer things like gemstones or pearls. Every girl and every relationship is different
I wonder if people might think unconsciously that the money and effort they put into their wedding is reflektive of how much the couple love each or how serious they take their relationship.
I love you Toni. I was stationed at Fort Stewart and I would visit Savannah occasionally, I wish I would’ve met you. You seem like a pure soul. Keep doing great things and shining bright while doing it❤✨
I LOVE YOUR GLASSES💕💕💕
Thank you!!!💗
not hating, but some of this just rubs me the wrong way. the entire video is about people using weddings for clout and content, but then you turn around and say you’re starting a podcast and you want people who have been through traumatic experiences on it. you even said that you can’t wait to hear and *share* their experiences. and then you share a positive quote and a bible verse even though you are talking about using people’s trauma for clout. also, to quote a verse from the bible and then promote a sponsor that is basically gambling. especially since a lot of those apps and offers are scams, it is just hard to trust. like i said, no hate… i just think it’s kind of backwards for you to be criticizing other people for using their experiences for clout when you’re basically doing the same thing.
I love your content so much! You’re always speaking on topics that others are afraid of. I never knew how much went into these weddings. I’m overwhelmed and it’s not even me😂😂
omgg. i’m gonna watch the complete vid later but based off the thumbnail ik it’ll be interesting. i’m a huge fan of dance moms and saw that kalani was engaged in one of her posts, but then i was reading her comments and was confused as to why everyone was saying negative things about it. so i’m glad for an explanation lol
Comparison is the thief of joy. Weddings have always had the potential to be ridiculously expensive if you let them. It's a party, that's it. Don't start off your marriage in debt, and don't compare yourself to social media people who are making money off their wedding activities. Theirs is an investment and a tax write off, yours isn't.
I got married last year by proxy (long distance relationship), we were planning a wedding w/a $10k budget in my mind…we ultimately chose to just put that money towards our home & a vacation instead.
I didn’t want to spend all that money for fake love and fake friends. Lol.
I think it was a big deal pre social media. My friend’s mom said she invited 800 ppl to her wedding in California. They got married in the early 90’s. It’s just more heightened because of social media. But ppl have always showed out for weddings
getting married in 5 months - big ceremony, slightly smaller reception but still big. i am STRESSED! i wouldn't have a small wedding, but i'd probably keep the ceremony to 300 and reception to 150 if i could have set out my numbers before really planning. still a huge wedding, but smaller than what i'm trying to plan right now
Yeah we don't have the funds and even if we did we would spend it on a house and a baby. Spending 7k on the wedding and having 36 guests. It is a semi destination wedding (6 hour drive to the beach) but that was our #1 priority. I let my bridesmaids pick their dresses, they just had to be the same color. We're not doing any pre wedding parties. We are doing a rehearsal dinner but just having tacos on the beach.
My family looks at me like I’m crazy when I say I want a courthouse wedding and a barbecue with close friends and family as the reception. Besides the money factor I’m not putting myself through the extra STRESS of having a wedding. I really just don’t want one 🤷🏾♀️
Unfortunately all you did was give me more ideas for my wedding season! Extra large jewelry boxes is so much better than regular boxes that will get thrown away! 😅 But seriously I want nice events but I don't think that will break the bank. I'm a pinterest diy girly who loves party planning so I'm throwing multiple parties for sure but it shouldn't bankrupt you. I also think that the bride and groom should pay for most things or just expect people not to come. Great discussion!
My wedding cost a total of $650; my mom sewed my dress and cooked for the reception. Less than 10 people at the wedding, and no photos posted on any social media. Good times ❤
I wanted to do the courthouse. My husband wanted a wedding. So we compromised where we picked the date between both of our birthday and had our officiant marry us in our apartment. Then we just had our wedding Thursday. I honestly loved both and dont regret either. But i definitely wouldve been ok with just getting married in our apartment.
People these days get married for image, status, basically showing off. They rush into things without actually being mature enough to get married. They end up marrying the wrong person, going into debt for an expensive wedding bc they just cared about that instead of the actual marriage itself, then they end up divorced contributing to the crap ratings of large weddings/marriages to divorce.
I think the superficiality that people are running with of wedding aesthetics being the most important aspect to them instead of the legitimate relationship, that's what leads to divorce. You can't just marry anyone, people that you're in the honeymoon phase with, initial high of being in a relationship with, being complacent, not doing proper vetting etc.
Many people that get married but end up getting divorced already showed red flags prior to the wedding as I've seen from the questions being asked in forums. "He cheated on me, should I still go through with the wedding?" Uh why would you even get started with a marriage with dishonesty? That's the road you're choosing but don't blame religion/marriage for the marriage not working out. "He proposed to me after ten years" - could be a shut up ring. "He lied to me a couple times but he's a changed person" You can't change a man. "We can't get along with personal belief systems but it'll work itself out later" No, it won't, it'll amplify later. The list goes on and on.
The way people are dating in life, hooking up, living their everyday life is also preventing them from elevating in life because it's already toxic and superficial from the foundation. Broken people getting married pretty much and they don't wanna recognize this reality.
Don't even get me started on what's wrong with the whole "insecurity" aspect of relationships when in reality it's disrespect to your partners to look at opposite genders, being involved with them, having bachelorette parties where you're heading to strip clubs and having a last "hurrah". People aren't ready for this conversation.
Are you getting married to party and cross something off of your list? Are you getting married to fit in with your other married friends or family? Are you getting married to compete with other weddings? Are you trying to get your wedding on social media/ vogue? Are you getting married bc you feel like you're getting old and should? Are you getting married bc you feel an attraction to a person or simply want to have kids? These are the questions that can determine your intentions. Get off pinterest, stop watching wedding tiktoks, and focus on bettering yourself- genuinely. Bettering yourself not by being lavish or crossing things off lists, but genuinely being real.
Learn to be humble, process what your actions are for, and this kind of stuff is serious, more than just image and partying or puppy love. Marriage is serious and if you're not ready, don't. Hearing the reesa teesa stories results from the things that I said above which is rushing and not thinking things through properly.
As for wedding style/type, I don't think there is an issue with someone wanting a large wedding, small wedding, elopements, destination weddings, no wedding, vegas wedding, courthouse, whatever it may be. That's not the point of the wedding. As long as your intention is correct, what you choose will be based on your situation as it allows and culture. There is no better or worse kind of wedding because it's subjective.
Some people have toxic family members or passed individuals whereas other people have a loving tight knit family. Some people have supportive circles whereas other's don't. Some people love planning and other's don't and feel stressed by it. These things will impact your choice for what you prefer.
Your relationship and situation is unique so you will choose what is best for you guys and there is no judgement with what kind of wedding you choose to have. If you want a simple one or a luxe one, that's because you find it attractive and is what fits you. It's not up to the general public to decide or put values on your choice and what you decide to do with your income. I mean, would we start doing the same for if you had a nice car or nice house or things like that?
Where we put our investments into depends on us. Some prefer to put it into traveling and honeymoons but what if someone hates traveling and honeymoons and prefer to have a nice big wedding in their hometown? It's just a preference and I hope we are all mature enough to respect it.
I knew wedding culture was bad but I didn't realize it was THIS bad.
I got married three years ago. We spent about $20,000 in total. I got my beautiful dress from a highly rated bridal shop near me for about $1,500. I didn't even have a wedding planner, I planned the whole thing myself. I don't know where my husband got my ring, but it's also beautiful and wasn't crazy expensive (not that I cared about the price anyway) and we got our wedding bands from Jared. We had a fantastic time with what we spent and some of our friends and family told me it was one pf the best weddings they'd ever been to. I can't imagine spending $50k-$100k+ on a wedding. That's just insane.
I love the bachelorette Shenanigans! I would definitely honor my last time having my name (I not having both lol). Plus when you get married and have kids, people disappear to responsibilities. I want to def spoil myself as a just me because it won't be anymore.
As far as events, if you have the cash go for it! I love a good party! I wouldn't care either way. Small intimate, big and crazy, as long as you love each other and it's healthy
i think its REALLY stupid to spend a lot of money for your wedding. people say “you only get married once” but that’s bs since.. most end up divorcing anyways. how can you have a happy healthy relationship when you’re only focused on the monetary value and how others perceive it. not to mention, get married after knowing someone for less than a year. sometimes it works but bffr. that’s just my opinion tho
Both me and my husband were in the military when we got married. Our family is in North Carolina and Puerto Rico while we lived in Georgia so we did a small wedding at a park with immediate family only and had a picnic as a reception with the intention of renewing our vows five years in and doing the big thing then. We are 10 years into our marriage 2 kids and we have zero intention of doing another wedding. I rather use the money to travel lol
Not kalani in the thumbnail 🤣😭
My husband and I got married in 2022 and didn’t even break $4000 also my dad paid for mostly everything which was really sweet. The most expensive part of my wedding was my dress. The theme was 1920s Great Gatsby and we had around 50 guests and it was still so much fun! We had soooo many vendors coming up to us saying that this was the best and funnest wedding they’d ever been to and that they could really feel the love between everybody. I say all this to say you don’t have to break the bank to have a genuine wedding!!! I feel like a lot of ppl now days are just about how they look on social media. Do they even love the person or are they doing it to stunt on their social media friends?
I want my wedding to be lowkey, but venues are so expensive and all that IDK how to keep it that way.
Those companies should be sponsoring folks who cant afford it, smh. Theyd get much more love doing that. For me, I like unique weddings. Aquarium, museum, botanical gardens etc
Those brides milking aaaaall the attention they can have and stretching the celebration fromn a day to a full YEAR... I can't, nobody can tell me it's about love and their partner...
Literally got married at the courthouse with my 8 family members and then had a celebration reception with family after. Also got to go to Panama city Florida for my honeymoon for an entire week. All of that only cost $1000 for us put of pocket for everything even my dress. I set up a honeymoon fund instead of gifts and got $3000 that paid for my honeymoon, food on the honeymoon, and gas for the drive down to Florida and back. Didn't use a photographer only had my cousin take photos with her phone which turned out awesome, did a potluck for food, got everything decor second hand and cake from Kroger. Rings were from amazon and I did my own hair and makeup . Also saved money by not having alcohol . If you take off all the bells and whistles of extra stuff you can have a wedding .
The thing about these new traditions is , I like them. They're fun and have the potential to be fun memories between more than the couple. However, most people are only indulging in bridesmaids proposals and engagement dinners for the extravagance and social media validation. Engagement parties and rehearsal dinners to me aren't new, my family has always done them, but they were always intimate/casual (depending on the family member done at relatives house). Weddings are already expensive, so splurging before is outrageous, especially when all these events are DIY-able and cheap if not for the need to flex money for people online.
Toni I love your glasses!
Finally someone is talking about this !
I definitely want a more intimate wedding. Even if I had $80,000 of free money to blow on a big wedding, the stress of planning it and all the people to invite would make me still want a smaller wedding lol I’d love to attend big weddings for those that want them but I do not want to be at the forefront in them lol
I’ve already thought of ways to tell the extra people who think they should be invited that they’re not invited 😂
At this point I kinda wanna elope lol I really don’t care much about the wedding. I care about the marriage.
I’ve looked this up and a lot of destination weddings are way cheaper than in the US. In Mexico you can get packages for weddings for $5000 and it goes up for higher tiers obviously.
Facts! This is even shown in Legally Blonde; they have been telling us
I really don't understand the need to have a wedding for others to see. I think the intimacy of marrying your other half with only those you care most about is one of the best parts of actually getting married.
Yay my girl is back
Back and better than ever 😉❤️
Yes ❤