Not Doing That Great

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 1.7K

  • @GinnyDi
    @GinnyDi 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5166

    "I am extremely thin of skin at the moment" is officially entering my vocabulary now

    • @NaughtyShepherd
      @NaughtyShepherd 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Same 😂

    • @hopewilliard6781
      @hopewilliard6781 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      And mine.

    • @raulllavaneras
      @raulllavaneras 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      Sounds like something my PC would say at 1HP

    • @ruolbu
      @ruolbu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      what a line to get tattooed!

    • @iainstevens-guille5561
      @iainstevens-guille5561 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

      The fact that GinnyDi is a Nerdfighter suprises me not at all ;)

  • @savs88
    @savs88 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +265

    When I first saw Vlogbrothers, I was a college student. Now I'm a law professor. I also struggle with mental illness. Thank you for being an older figure I could observe and resonate with. I (parasocially, respectfully, distantly) love you, John. Bless you.

  • @IlIlllIllIlIIIll
    @IlIlllIllIlIIIll 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2540

    Your successes do not invalidate struggles. You are allowed to cry.

    • @K8tieR6
      @K8tieR6 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      +

    • @krank23
      @krank23 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      ++

    • @myboatforacar
      @myboatforacar 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      + It's worth noting that your struggles, while completely valid, don't invalidate your successes either.

    • @hopegold883
      @hopegold883 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes, and art is a commodity because people want it and value it. That’s how we got the whole idea of buying and selling. As much as I detest the resulting capitalism as we know it today, I can’t help but think it came about naturally.

    • @Norman834
      @Norman834 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      +

  • @therealpixie
    @therealpixie 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +407

    I’ve survived over 70 years with depression. Two things have helped me. After many bouts, I realized the problem was not a product of my surroundings, but a result of my bad chemicals. If I have a cold, I do not define myself as a cold, but as a person you happens to have a cold. If I am suffering depression, I do not define myself as that depression, but rather as having that finite condition I will recover from just like a cold. The second is, it’s okay to ask for a "poor baby” sometimes. It just feels so good to have someone commiserate with me, no judgment, just loving acceptance and a desire I feel better.

    • @adamgreenspan4988
      @adamgreenspan4988 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      self awareness of “uh oh, I’m having some bad chemicals thoughts and feelings, that’s what those are and not an accurate reflection of my self worth and likely future prospects” really helped put me in control with regards to depression. It let me consciously and rationally choose to take a little time out (usually through naps or going to the movies) to let the negative emotions burn off and let me get back to being my actual self again.

    • @heydeanie
      @heydeanie 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      "poor baby" reminded me of a wonderful book, faking it by Jennifer Crusie... Couldn't agree more. We all need a " poor baby" occasionally

    • @rmdodsonbills
      @rmdodsonbills 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And if you're really lucky, you might get a person or two in your life who can give you the "poor baby" sometimes without even having to ask.

    • @therealpixie
      @therealpixie 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@rmdodsonbillsMany of my friends and loved ones exchange our “poor babies”. Never know when you’re gonna’ need one,

    • @ccubed215
      @ccubed215 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      This is the first person I’ve ever heard aay “I’ve survived depression for 70 years” so thank you very much. We only ever see examples of people losing the battle on tv.

  • @evanrman8048
    @evanrman8048 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3446

    You're allowed to cry, John. You're setting an example for the rest of us that it's part of being human.

    • @geeksdo1tbetter
      @geeksdo1tbetter 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

      Crying is normal. I always cry.

    • @lucijac8884
      @lucijac8884 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      ​@@geeksdo1tbetter you, kind person, win the internet today!

    • @JF-qf4oq
      @JF-qf4oq 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Sneezing, though. Not normal at all.

    • @harharbinks07
      @harharbinks07 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      +

    • @JPiplup77
      @JPiplup77 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I have been binging her album and weeping when needed. We are all allowed to cry. Sometimes there’s just too many emotions to hold them all in, be it good, or bad, or both. Sending love, understanding, and excitement for the movie. 💜

  • @Fesgtrsa
    @Fesgtrsa 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +153

    I have a very long commute and I have to take the train to work. I’d had a shitty day at work and I was stood in the passage between carriages because I wasn’t in a place to be able to deal with people or being seen. A passing train guard came along, saw my face - then he stopped and asked if I was ok. This is a Northern European country - no one talks to anyone else unless they absolutely have to. He really seemed to mean it. I know he was only doing his job, to look out for people who could be planning something terrible for themselves or others, but no-one had asked me if I was ok in such a long time, that I almost started bawling right then and there. I still think about the guy from time to time. He’ll never know how much that meant to me, and how much just that simple question helped me.

  • @TwistedRiddles
    @TwistedRiddles 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1613

    John, I hadn’t even considered how much talking about your mental health in public would be a drain on you. I have OCD (I know that in large part BECAUSE you were open in talking about it), and when I have to (well choose to) talk about it in events at work, it’s a drain on me.
    I am also EXTREMELY privileged, but to quote your brother, it still hurts when I stub my toe.

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +447

      Thanks for those reminders! -John

    • @velocirapper
      @velocirapper 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      Great way to frame it

    • @dottieanderson267
      @dottieanderson267 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +67

      I use the "it still hurts when I stub my toe" all to time to help me understand my own feelings. It doesnt mean I don't recognize my privelage, but privelage doesn't negate all pain

  • @HaibaneRakka571
    @HaibaneRakka571 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +116

    "all my nerve endings are outside my body" reminds me of a phrase that has quietly fallen out of modern lexicon: "I'm feeling frayed". I think it's a normal human experience to hold ourselves up and then feel a visceral sense of being overwhelmed when we start to wind down. It's something I learned from your books, and I've always felt that BECAUSE it is common is WHY it's important. To feel frayed is part of being human, and the rest of us as humans should love and understand and support a person who is in that moment. Rest well, know that you are loved, thank you for all that you do

  • @danielarthur04
    @danielarthur04 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1804

    My dad passed away yesterday so I’m also Not Doing That Great. You said once something along the lines of “the problem with going on holiday is that I take myself with me”. I’m feeling that now. I feel like I’d be better at this if I wasn’t bringing myself and my mental health problems with me in this. I’m trying to tell the people around me that they’re doing a good job, but it’s hard feeling completely powerless as those you love suffer the most. I’m grateful for this video today, I’m grateful for a video today. It’s something beautifully normal. My dad was a great man. I’ll probably delete this soon but I’m feeling a great urge at the moment to tell people. He was and is the best.

    • @danielarthur04
      @danielarthur04 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +351

      He also always loved my awesome socks. He thought the whole thing was absolutely hilarious, he’d always wait whilst I opened them and ask to see the design, and end up laughing. I haven’t been able to bring myself to open the April socks which arrived today. At some point I will. I might also order a bunch of duplicates at some point.

    • @kimono5484
      @kimono5484 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +89

      Sorry about your dad. 💙

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +812

      Dan, there is no way to be good (or bad!) at loss and grief. You're doing a good job. I'm just so so sorry for your loss. -John

    • @tygerstripes3752
      @tygerstripes3752 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +72

      I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your father. This is one of the very hardest times for anyone. I went through my Mother's death a few years ago and all I can say is just keep moving. Do what needs to be done, support others and take support where it's offered.

    • @untappedinkwell
      @untappedinkwell 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +123

      In nerdfighteria, we have a saying when someone we love passes away: Rest in Awesome. If I may, May your dad Rest in Awesome, and may his memory be a blessing in time.
      And for right now, please be as gentle with yourself as you can, okay? Be gentle for as long as the Grief is with you.
      And thank you for sharing your memory about the socks. It's wonderful.

  • @annawenrich
    @annawenrich 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    Someone empathizing and saying, "this must be quite difficult for you, I'm sorry" and responding by saying "thank you," and bursting into tears was my experience multiple times this past week.

    • @k33k32
      @k33k32 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I hope your week gets better soon

  • @hellosaera
    @hellosaera 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1189

    it’s nice when people acknowledge each other as human

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +474

      Not the internet's specialty but nerdfighteria is generally quite good at it! -John

    • @sometalkaboutbeinghuman
      @sometalkaboutbeinghuman 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      i agree! ❤❤

    • @elisa.llew-send
      @elisa.llew-send 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ++

    • @feuilletoniste
      @feuilletoniste 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Yes! It's why I've been feeling weirdly nostalgic for the worst days of the pandemic of late - not because I was having a good time, and nor was anyone else, but because for that brief moment everyone agreed that it was more important to be human and mutually vulnerable and honest about our anxiety and exhaustion than to put on a smiling face in the name of Productivity. How swiftly the institutions that bind us forget...

    • @EcceJack
      @EcceJack 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      +

  • @maj-britt5756
    @maj-britt5756 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    Dear John
    Just saw the movie with my daughter who has OCD. She cried! She felt so seen, it was tough for her to see OCD “from the outside” and she felt so hard with Aza - because she KNOWS how she feels (the bandaid spot on). But it was a good experience and we loved it.
    My daughter is doing exposure therapy and fighting her OCD every day and we believe she will learn to control her OCD, but it is a fight that requires great strength, willpower and courage.
    Thank you for this!
    With gratitude Maj from Denmark

  • @AeroKlaine
    @AeroKlaine 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +953

    Big love to that reporter (I would’ve cried too, John)

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +462

      Big big love to that reporter. Such empathy! -John

    • @DeborahBoschert
      @DeborahBoschert 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      @@vlogbrothers Terry Gross could learn a thing or two from him, ahem.

    • @therabbithat
      @therabbithat 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      When he said what the reporter said I was like "that would make me cry" and then he said he cried and like, of course!

  • @Jamie_says_weirding_is_real
    @Jamie_says_weirding_is_real 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Thank you, humans who teach me to keep my heart soft. ❤️

    • @fionna909
      @fionna909 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That’s beautifully said ❤

  • @SlashAndInkOfCrimson
    @SlashAndInkOfCrimson 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2174

    AH. WHY IS HENRY SO TALL. IM IN DENIAL ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1016

      Taller than Sarah! -John

    • @SlashAndInkOfCrimson
      @SlashAndInkOfCrimson 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +243

      @@vlogbrothers And then YOU REPLY TO MY COMMENT. What is this the TWILIGHT ZONE?! 😂😂😂

    • @twoleftsright
      @twoleftsright 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +560

      Henry and Alice are 5 and 3 and you can't tell me otherwise John.

    • @SlashAndInkOfCrimson
      @SlashAndInkOfCrimson 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

      @@twoleftsright my thoughts exactly. 😭❤️

    • @DarkkestNite
      @DarkkestNite 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

      Paternity leave feels like it was just the other year....

  • @dyskelia
    @dyskelia 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Awww the burst into tears part when someone shows empathy is so relatable

  • @matteratt
    @matteratt 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +966

    “I, while trying to say ‘thank you,’ burst into tears” might be my favorite description of how weird it is to be a human among other humans

    • @ayerhead07
      @ayerhead07 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

      I'm feeling very seen by that statement. My 39-year-old husband was hospitalized with a pulmonary embolism this weekend after a relatively routine shoulder surgery, and it's the first major health crisis either of us have ever faced. At one point some friends were staying with him while another friend took me out to get some air. I was picking up sandwiches from Firehouse Subs and was very clearly Not Doing Well. As I was leaving, a very precious little girl about 6 years old in a princess dress was walking out ahead of me with her parents. There was enough of a gap that the door closed between us, but the little girl stopped and waited, then opened the door and held it for me. I, while trying to say "thank you," burst into tears.
      I try my best to live the ethos that you never know what someone else is going through, and right now I'm on the other side of it. I having so many swirling feelings of fear, anger, gratitude for the people holding us up. I couldn't finish Hank's last video because it was just so raw, as I was sitting in the hospital with my sleeping husband who hours earlier had been writhing in the worst pain of his life. Life is so weird and sometimes so fucking hard, and I'm so grateful that being a Nerdfighter has helped me both see people as people and learn to let them see me.

    • @waffles3629
      @waffles3629 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Yep, I loved that, even if it hit me like a gut punch. I've been there, and it's hard and scary and vulnerable.

    • @carolinecagle3266
      @carolinecagle3266 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thank you.

    • @OneTraveller
      @OneTraveller 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      @ayerhead07 - I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending love to you and your husband.

    • @Me-vn3gz
      @Me-vn3gz 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      this is why i struggle to talk about what im feeling while im feeling it, afterwards there’s distance between me and the feeling so i can speak plainly about it

  • @whatcanidooo
    @whatcanidooo 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    For me, OCD has been one of the few illnesses where talking about it doesn’t always help me. So I really can’t imagine what it would be like having to do it constantly. We’re all proud of you and grateful for what you put out in the world, John, and your life being good doesn’t mean you stop being a human who is allowed to not feel great

  • @maggieo
    @maggieo 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +665

    Yesterday, I did the dishes, put a bunch of old magazines in the recycle bin, opened a week's worth of mail and packages, and in the same way John cried when the reporter talked to him, I'm crying now at my little bit of successful self-care in the middle of a big depressive episode. Thank you, John and Nerdfighters, for helping me take the win.

    • @AndreaCrisp
      @AndreaCrisp 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      You did great. I know how hard just doing the basics can be. 🤗

    • @elainebelzDetroit
      @elainebelzDetroit 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      You are amazing! I am in awe. I have the same struggle. I hope you're feeling better soon.

    • @MarkThePage
      @MarkThePage 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      If it was difficult to do, then it wasn't a "little bit" of success. By definition, you had a BIG success today.

    • @MinurielLai
      @MinurielLai 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Wow, well done! I've also been struggling with mental health & I KNOW just how daunting even just the dishes can be, so great job!

    • @lambentlamprey
      @lambentlamprey 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      You smashed it. When even the 'little things' take so much effort, every little thing yo=u do is a win.

  • @KWolf2013
    @KWolf2013 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I've noticed that when I am hugely overjoyed that can tip me right back to anxiety because there is so much going on in my body. I can't imagine the feelings for such a huge project that involves so many people and is so personal. Thank you so much for helping people learn to talk about mental health ❤️

  • @FlyKiwi
    @FlyKiwi 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +408

    Mutual Respect is a seriously underrated relationship tool.

    • @untappedinkwell
      @untappedinkwell 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      big mood.

    • @jliller
      @jliller 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I would imagine since most relationships involve an imbalance of power and control that typically impairs mutual respect.

    • @FlyKiwi
      @FlyKiwi 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@jliller Gross, imagine living like that by choice

    • @jliller
      @jliller 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@FlyKiwi A lot of people want to dominate or be dominated. Lots of reasons why: self-esteem issues, trust issues, control issues, upbring, narcissism, sociopathy. I agree they're all unhealthy.
      To say nothing of the relationships (romantic or otherwise) where the imbalance is involuntary. For example, ideally everyone should have a mutually respectful relationship with their boss at work, but the power imbalance makes it inherently difficult for most people, even in situations where both boss and employee have genuinely good intentions and behavior.

    • @paddleduck5328
      @paddleduck5328 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      👏

  • @thevortex7075
    @thevortex7075 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    “a weird mix of being overjoyed and at the same time, not doing that great”. Wow that really resonated. Thanks John for sharing this.

  • @Martcapt
    @Martcapt 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +474

    I fucking love this corner of the internet.
    People are allowed to feel their feelings.

    • @untappedinkwell
      @untappedinkwell 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      + It's a very good corner.

    • @emilymartin5418
      @emilymartin5418 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      +

    • @N3rdfightermom
      @N3rdfightermom 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      It is the only part of the internet that I read the comments

  • @stecky87
    @stecky87 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for everything, John. For writing, for creating, and for being vulnerable.

  • @Jesslovescoffee29
    @Jesslovescoffee29 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +205

    I applaud John for graying out his kids faces. More famous parents should do that! Bravo so happy for you!

    • @Alfonso162008
      @Alfonso162008 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      It's great, but sadly, if they were at the red carpet with him, he can't do anything about it if they published the photos in magazines and other websites and stuff.

    • @Hellenrosehart
      @Hellenrosehart 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      @@Alfonso162008i mean, if they're there it seems like him and Sarah are okay with that. Just not on the youtube channel, I guess you have to draw the line somewhere.

    • @kaypgirl
      @kaypgirl 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      I think they're of an age where John usually asks them if they want to be in his videos or Instagram. Henry was on John's Instagram post where they showed off their red carpet outfits and Alice wasn't. The kids would have made the choice to walk the red carpet and pose for photos.

  • @RobertHollis
    @RobertHollis 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you for being a blessing! You inspire so many people!

  • @christopherdelude9441
    @christopherdelude9441 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +219

    "I have won a bunch of lotteries" -- I've often daydreamed of winning the lottery, and when I do it usually devolves into thinking how stressful it would be to manage the logistics of getting it, donating it, filing taxes with it, handling pressure I get from outside people...blessings can be extraordinarily stressful! Stay hydrated, eat well, get sleep, and take care of yourself John!

    • @N3rdfightermom
      @N3rdfightermom 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I always tell my kids it would be great to be rich but I would NEVER want to be famous! But I am also an accountant so I feel like I could handle the taxes 🙂

    • @wildflower1397
      @wildflower1397 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Here is an alternative narrative. When you win, hire a lawyer and a financial advisor before you even claim the prize. You can now afford to let them deal with all the b.s. for you. Then you can just sit on the golden egg and let let it all sink in for a while, before making big decisions. If you are already thinking about donating some of it, then you are naturally generous, so it will come easy to you. It's the people who try to buy everything and do everything all at once who get into trouble. But not you, because you are busy relaxing outside and enjoying the feeling of knowing that you have all the time in the world to decide what to do next. :)

    • @3countylaugh
      @3countylaugh 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Blessing can't be extraordinarily stressful is a useful thought for me too

  • @thisisloveless
    @thisisloveless 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    i feel so seen by this. thanks for sharing John

  • @BelindaShort
    @BelindaShort 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +126

    I was in a dispensary and I mentioned I had cluster headaches, and the girl behind the counter said OMG I'm so sorry, those are so terrible! I broke down into tears because that was the first time I felt seen.
    Congratulations about the book and the movie!

  • @ollie72
    @ollie72 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    this is so so real and true and honest. i am fortunate and privileged enough to have been recently diagnosed with an often-invisible disability, but now that means in order to advocate for myself, i have to explain every aspect of the inner workings of my brain and heart and soul. like in order to succeed and survive i must be dissected. it’s a strange feeling for sure. thank you for sharing.

  • @kimmykimmie
    @kimmykimmie 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +160

    The movie has so many good hints to nerdfighteria and honestly it made me cry so much.

  • @lauriedepaurie
    @lauriedepaurie 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I recall a neuropsychologist who said: happiness is a chemical state of the brain, which if anything, is only mildy and temporarily affected by external factors.
    I love our human nature trying to find logic in things, because we find it so often and learn from it. But there is no logic to our emotions, let alone thought spirals, anxieties etc.
    Being fortunate doesn't change it. If anything, from personal experience, being depressed just makes me feel even more awful BECAUSE I know I'm privileged.
    You're such a great advocate. Thanks! We need you, we love you and we're here for you.

  • @lyadmilo
    @lyadmilo 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +295

    I just got home from the psych ward. Much love for all those Not Doing Great. For both very personal and very global/geopolitical reasons, this has been the worst year of my life but my wife and friends have risen so greatly to the challenge of loving me that I am forever grateful beyond measure. One day I will see that it is because I am worth it.

    • @untappedinkwell
      @untappedinkwell 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      May the day that you see it be closer than you think. Thank you for being here with us.

    • @niftythegoblin
      @niftythegoblin 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      I was in your position last year. It was, truly, one of the hardest years of my life.
      Developing selfworth comes with small acts of personal recognition. Even for things that you think are not worth celebrating - "I didn't talk down to myself today!" "I got out of and/OR did my bed" and don't get me wrong, it feels silly at first. Sometimes it feels like you're condescending yourself. But weirdly, the harder you push at that, as well as unpack any traumas w a mental health professional, you will see a difference. You are not just loved, but you are deserving of that love, and you deserve to love yourself. I hope you get there soon :)

    • @theazalealemon
      @theazalealemon 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      My mantra is "I am beloved, and I am enough." It makes so much difference to know that. I hope you can start believing it soon.

    • @sydney5228
      @sydney5228 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      i’m glad you’re here 🫶🏻

    • @earnestlanguage4242
      @earnestlanguage4242 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      i can relate bud. i am a person and I deserve kindness and a better world. you are also a person and deserve good.❤

  • @lauraceae8037
    @lauraceae8037 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    John, hearing you talk so honestly about your OCD and the absolute hell it can be has been so helpful in validating my experience and explaining it to others. I recently exited what can only be described as a very extreme year-long episode of near constant scrupulously and existential ocd, and one of the hardest things about it was explaining to people that, no, ocd isn’t “just” being neat or clean or organized: sometimes the compulsions are more invisible, and either way they can be all-consuming. Thank you for coming out of your comfort zone for people like me

  • @twoleftsright
    @twoleftsright 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +83

    This video really hit home for me. I have had a gruelling 5 year journey to getting my PhD, and I took 3 weeks off over Easter to decompress and celebrate. Then, when I got back to things my dog passed away suddenly and now I am lying on the couch, coughing my lungs out with the flu. So I, too, am not doing great, and I, too, cried at that reporter's empathy. Stay strong John. You're almost home.

    • @iiiiitsmagreta1240
      @iiiiitsmagreta1240 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I'm sorry past what words can express 🫂

    • @MinurielLai
      @MinurielLai 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That sounds tough, I hope it gets easier soon!

    • @heyimfreckles
      @heyimfreckles 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I hate when things pile up back to back like this. I’m in one of those seasons, too. So sorry for the loss of your dog - losing a pet is unbelievably painful. Hope you feel better soon ♥️

  • @HonestlyElsie
    @HonestlyElsie 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I just watched the movie and it was incredible. So moving and real. I'm very grateful for your presence in the world John. Your work has been a balm and inspiration to me for over a decade. ❤

  • @idaslapter5987
    @idaslapter5987 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

    Hey John, as they say in your hometown, don't forget that you are awesome. ❤ Hang in there.

    • @Speilbilde
      @Speilbilde 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      +++

  • @RainbowSprnklz
    @RainbowSprnklz 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    those moments where someone just suddenly SEES you and acknowledges your pain, like you experienced with that reporter, are always such reality shifting moments where like suddenly this person made you slip and fall and part of you is like ahhhh but also youve never needed to lay flat more in youre life. When that happens it sticks in my mind forever

  • @emilydana5021
    @emilydana5021 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    John, I’m currently in my last month before ordination as a rabbi before going into my job as a children’s hospital chaplain and i very much relate to the feeling that everything is amazing and dreams coming true but feeling unbelievably thin of skin at the moment. We are all allowed to cry.

    • @geeksdo1tbetter
      @geeksdo1tbetter 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      chag pesach sameach!

  • @RobotLovesKitten
    @RobotLovesKitten 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    John, thank you for Turtles All the Way Down. It means so much to me as a book and as a talking point. It has been nice to hand that book to people and say 'This! This is what a spiral feels like for me.'
    I hope you are able to rest soon and restore. But I am enternally grateful for the work you are doing talking about mental illness.

  • @RefreshingCrack
    @RefreshingCrack 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +65

    "All of my dreams are coming true??" - he said incredulously.

  • @sarahgeiger4503
    @sarahgeiger4503 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Have been thinking about this exact thing for you and a little worried. Thank you for sharing with us and hope you are tucked up in your garden path to the woods and family life soon/now? Thank you for everything you give us, WE are grateful. DFTBA for life.

  • @marcellastname6862
    @marcellastname6862 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    "And I, while trying to say thank you, kind of burst into tears" is a total vibe

  • @carolinecagle3266
    @carolinecagle3266 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you. 🎉 Don't forget to be awesome, John.

  • @triciac.5078
    @triciac.5078 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +98

    I'm glad someone in all of this craziness realized that you're human, John. We know you're human, we see it every week when you share a piece of yourself with us. Thank you for showing us your humanity.

  • @JackFrosteee
    @JackFrosteee 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I just finished the movie. Having already read the book and listened to the audiobook, I loved it... especially your cameo as the coach.

    • @anurag_verma_youtube
      @anurag_verma_youtube 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      "Aza can you at least pretend to play"

  • @rougnashi
    @rougnashi 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +72

    Just because your boat is a different shape from another's, doesn't mean it can't fill with water all the same. It's okay that you're struggling with this, John. You're human; we'd never ask any more or less than for you to be yourself.

    • @bellablue5285
      @bellablue5285 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I like that analogy tbh, haven't heard it before, but I like it

    • @emilydana5021
      @emilydana5021 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      This is such a good metaphor

  • @kkmcbeath
    @kkmcbeath 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Just finished the film... so beautiful. Thank you.

  • @eviera58
    @eviera58 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +57

    I hope you do great soon John!!

  • @emilypollock4581
    @emilypollock4581 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Seeing John’s kids being so big really blew my mind. I was their age when I started watching vlog brothers and really feel like they helped raise me and help create my sense of empathy growing up and I don’t have words to express how grateful I am

  • @bardfm
    @bardfm 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +201

    “Life is pretty weird” feels like the modern “Life moves pretty fast” from Ferris Bueller

    • @duckofdeathv1595
      @duckofdeathv1595 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Are you implying that Ferris Bueller is not modern? I will not have it!

  • @gmaland
    @gmaland 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love how real and vulnerable you are about all of this. You're a great role model to everyone. Looking forward to the movie.

  • @jenniferlutzky7847
    @jenniferlutzky7847 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    Fellow middle-aged nerdfighter here. Came out to the Festival of Books specifically to see the movie and especially your panel, despite being on the tail end of a round of chemotherapy, because I know how hard this all is for you and somehow it felt supportive to be there? And knowing how hard the publicity part is for you makes all the wonderful things you say even more meaningful. I'm so grateful you are able to push through all the discomfort because it's so important for people to see this movie and hear what you have to say. Please take care of yourself.

    • @n_hmo1287
      @n_hmo1287 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Middle-agreed chemotherapy-experienced here. Sending you a big hug

    • @jenniferlutzky7847
      @jenniferlutzky7847 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@n_hmo1287 Thank you so much!

  • @dannydorito8019
    @dannydorito8019 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks John. As someone who’s going through life with OCD, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and depression, I get caught up in my head a lot. And even though I love to create art myself (I’m a musician), I get bogged down by my own mental illnesses from time to time. I appreciate you being so open and vulnerable. It resonates with me so deeply. Congratulations on another successful project. I hope it’s your best one yet!

  • @JemRochelle
    @JemRochelle 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    I also have OCD, and recently I was not doing that great. It's rough. Glad you're here with us John 💖

  • @vyssla
    @vyssla 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Strange as it may sound, my expensive is that it's not just scary when you open up and someone reacts badly, it's also scary when they react in a good way. Like you get tripped up about if its authentic, manipulation, pity, or just tripped up in general.
    I even react with crying when I witness ppl reacting in a good way to mental illness. My therapist says that's a kind of grief, and that it won't be like that forever, but grief takes time to get out of your system. Because I am fundamentally sad that mental illness is stimatized. So thank you for working on improving our lives

  • @jenniferburns2530
    @jenniferburns2530 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Thank you for letting us see when you are not ok, and how mental health is not always a simple equation of "good things happening means improved mental health." Your insight into your privilege and struggles reminds all of us that people are complicated, our brains are complicated, and self-compassion is crucial.

  • @Judymontel
    @Judymontel 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Ahhh. Many years ago I met a new friend with a newborn in a baby carriage. She had many other children of various ages and had also organized the wedding of one of her older sons. She was very happy. She was very blessed. But the way it felt at the moment... she was really, really exhausted. It was all good news - the best news - but good things are also exhausting and wear you down. It was an important lesson for me.
    I hope you have adequate recovery time real soon, John!!

  • @dubulvr
    @dubulvr 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +617

    Pausing my mental breakdown to watch this 🫡 I too am not doing well💀
    Edit: Um currently tearing up reading your comments 😭 I love y’all and I’m sending so much love to all of you! Thank you for your messages and I’m so grateful we have such a sense of community🫶🏾

    • @AllYouSeeIsHuman
      @AllYouSeeIsHuman 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

      Hugs from a stranger to you.

    • @vampirica89
      @vampirica89 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

      take care of yourself 💜

    • @emms8
      @emms8 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      Sending you heaps of love n hugs❤ Pls take extra good care of yourself ❤️

    • @kevinwells9751
      @kevinwells9751 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      I'm sorry you're going through it right now, I hope that you can find the love and support you need to get through whatever it is and that you make it out to the other side

    • @evanrman8048
      @evanrman8048 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

  • @hchen-gb1tw
    @hchen-gb1tw 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    years ago, the summer after my first year of vet school, i had the incomparable opportunity to travel to belize to work on jaguar dentistry. due to a number of other things happening in my life and family at that time, i was DEEPLY unwell, and i remember resolving to myself that i would commit to experiencing everything as deeply as possible while allowing myself space to be unwell. the week that i spent there was both overwhelming joy and also absolute agony. not joy but agony. joy AND agony. your description of the weird mix of feelings you’ve been having lately resonates deeply with me on that front.
    really great to see this kind of raw honesty, and the discussion of having both emotional experiences at the same time. i know sharing these reflections in and of themselves sometimes contributes to those feelings too, especially the sensation of overexposure, so thank you for sharing it! i’m a lifelong nerdfighter and i find new ways to be grateful for our community every day.

  • @darsynia
    @darsynia 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    That part where you point out both you and the reporter are experiencing humanity instead of villainy is the most writer thing EVER and as a writer myself I LOVE. I think you know but it bears repeating: so many of us are Nerdfighters not just because you two are good at what you do and what you create but you're just good at being human in human ways. You allow us into the magic fabric of your dreaming!

  • @kathycarlson7947
    @kathycarlson7947 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thin of skin. . . Sending you healing energy. Love your work. Take care. We will see the film!!

  • @TheSarahEllie01
    @TheSarahEllie01 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    As a person who carries OCD with me wherever I go like the ugliest little handbag I can relate to the impossible task of talking about OCD while experiencing OCD and I am grateful that you put this experience into words- not just so others can try to understand but so that those of us who relate can share those words and know that other people feel the same. Many hopes that your nerve endings end up back inside your body soon! Can't wait for this film

  • @terranbricklin
    @terranbricklin 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    What a perfect time to see this, thank you John. I'm having a pretty bad time inside my head today, I really appreciate you and sharing your experiences so openly, especially knwoing how terribly draining it must be.

  • @paulkinzer7661
    @paulkinzer7661 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    'It's complicated.' I cannot imagine all that you are going through. Thanks for your honesty and for having the nerve to share with all of us.

    • @K8tieR6
      @K8tieR6 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      +

  • @brentgarrett65
    @brentgarrett65 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love listening to this man. He goes through struggles, just like all of us do. And he is not shy about telling us how those struggles affected him. Genuine, honest.
    Smart smart smart❤❤

  • @jonm4206
    @jonm4206 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

    Cut to Bo Burnham Inside, "I am not... well" followed by sobbing into his hands. Next time you're feeling overwhelmed send Hank, most of the magazines and non nerdfighters will spend like 5 seconds confused, then assume they had you backwards for the last 10 years. When they ask him if its hard talking about the spirals he'll be like, "Oh yeah let me tell you John.... I mean I... find that very challenging. Wanna hear about Mars?"

    • @afroceltduck
      @afroceltduck 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      As in baseball, where you have a "designated hitter", maybe Hank should be the "designated John"?

  • @tracekerr7097
    @tracekerr7097 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Whenever I’ve been scared shitless before a presentation or panel I often think of you, John. Knowing I’m not the only one who struggles feeling exposed, is enough. Thank you. And also, take breaks; we will all understand ❤

  • @mineola_
    @mineola_ 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +44

    I just had an appointment with my psychiatrist where she insisted we up my ketamine appointments to twice a week to stop my spiral. So I feel you John. Take care. ❤

    • @geeksdo1tbetter
      @geeksdo1tbetter 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Good luck with the new regimen! (Is that the correct spelling?)

  • @ahuggingsam
    @ahuggingsam 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    At the risk of making it worse, I do want to thank you again John, I always feel so incredibly seen and validated when you talk about these things. Not just in Turles all the way down, but this very video. This idea of being very fortunate and still suffering is something that buzzes in my head all to often. So as always, Thank you

  • @Aatagawa25
    @Aatagawa25 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    As a writer who was diagnosed as an adult with mental health (GAD/ADHD), thank you for writing this book and sharing a glimpse into your navigation of being a writer even with all of the thought spirals and complexities that come with it. Some of my anxieties come in the form of 'what if I don't publish my book', and then immediately after 'oh god and what if I do?' Or 'What if no one reads my book' then 'what if they do?'
    Learning where my support systems are and how to navigate the work-life-writing balance has left me clinging onto my notebook and the dreams held within while the pressures of adult life and a family I am at once insanely grateful for, attempts to crush me. But knowing that it's possible to write about the important stuff makes me want to do so even harder. So I guess I just wanted to say thank you for being a bit of encouragement as I make my way on my own path. I'm so happy that you liked the movie, and I'm excited to see it soon too.

  • @cllew5919
    @cllew5919 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I watched Turtles all the Way Down just the other day. I randomly came across it on Max and recognized the title and remembered that I never got a chance to read it, so I didn't know what it was going to be about. ( I'm 60 but read a lot of YA books when my daughter was in her teens, at least three by John Green) The movie was great and well done and very emotional. I have a better understanding of OCD now.
    John, I hope you are at peace back home in Indiana. I also enjoyed the cameo. Thank you for all your wonderful work.

  • @Bostnfn
    @Bostnfn 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    OCD sufferer here. Thank you for those times that you can be vocal about it. I've used a lot of yours and your brother's Crash Course videos to help my special-ed students. You guys do great important things, and to do it while fighting OCD is just awesome. It's tough man. I wish you the best.

  • @ernestlewisjr.2003
    @ernestlewisjr.2003 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I appreciate your humility and honesty. Thank you for your graciousness in sharing it.

  • @ryguydavis
    @ryguydavis 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Thank you, John. I feel such immense gratitude for your humanity in public.

  • @SerenityKilaira97
    @SerenityKilaira97 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I struggle with being emotional vulnerable so it actually makes me feel better whenever someone just says, "you're human, it's okay". Thank you so much for reminding us, again and again, what being human is actually like, because it's really just too easy to forget in this world.

  • @kelsiedonaldson
    @kelsiedonaldson 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    They said “babe you gotta fake it till you make it” and you did. Sending best wishes!

  • @Makalasbeautybar
    @Makalasbeautybar 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    John, unbelievable work you make. Honestly. It’s been my favorite book since I was a young teen and I’m not an adult, still struggling through my mental states and also trying to having a fulfilling and meaningful life around the seemingly never ending spirals because of course it’s turtles all the way down. The movie made me feel all over again the relief I felt when I read the book for the first time and I never thought I’d experience thats again!
    Thank you and to the crew for making such a beautiful work of art

  • @benziko1460
    @benziko1460 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    You and hank have some of the most thoughtful and "real" advice I've ever heard about work life balance and managing mental health in these strange times so thank you for being such a good human John

  • @AngelLife999
    @AngelLife999 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you John for sharing your not-okay with us. It is beautiful and freeing and soulful and art.

  • @sarahleonard7309
    @sarahleonard7309 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    As far as I can tell, you are in good company. Quite a few celebrities have opened up about their own mental health issues over the last decade or so. They love the creative and community building aspects of their jobs, but struggle to find space and time to decompress and deal with their thoughts and feelings in a healthy way.
    And hearing that matters to the rest of us schlubs! The honesty matters.
    So I'm very glad that you get to just be you again in a few days instead of being The Guy in Front of the Camera.

  • @fluffydumpling5825
    @fluffydumpling5825 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have anxiety & panic disorder. I also feel very privileged and like I am living my dream life, so when my mental health goes south, I struggle with the same thoughts as you. It feels good to hear someone like you share this, and I hope myself and others can provide you the same comfort.

  • @tetradigit
    @tetradigit 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Its been tremendously helpful to me and my family to hear you talk about mental illness these last 15 years. Thanks John.. your work is more than a mere commodity, for some of us your candor and authenticity have been a lifesaver.

  • @jeff-hc8ux
    @jeff-hc8ux 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I appreciate you making a video like this during a time for myself and likely others which is ... mixed. There is something unique about celebrating a win that you longed for many times and a grief that is so overwhelming.

  • @sircharlesmormont9300
    @sircharlesmormont9300 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    A world of congratulations to you. I just wanted to let you know that you are appreciated! My library book club is reading your book in August. We're actually just about 2 hours away from you and mostly comprised of middle aged ladies. We try to read from a wide variety of perspectives and wanted to dive into YA for the first time in years, and yours is the book we chose! So support from the next state over.

  • @jackplexico266
    @jackplexico266 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for creating this book and movie and for talking about your mental health. I semi-recently received an OCD diagnosis. Having books like Turtles All the Way Down, the movie (which I loved and thought was profoundly beautiful), and your videos talking about your mental health has been wildly impactful to me. It has made me feel less alone and given me media that I have been able to share with friends and family when I felt like I was unable to aptly communicate what was going on in my own brain. Thank you, you do really make a positive impact.

  • @tbella5186
    @tbella5186 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    John, of all the things I am, a NerdFighter is one of my most proud and joyful, even through the struggles.
    So thank you, and I hope today you breathe in some of that joy!

  • @foroldtimessake
    @foroldtimessake 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m so proud of you John!!!! Just so so proud. And proud of our community. Congratulations on the film! Can’t wait to watch it!

  • @InsertHandleHere968
    @InsertHandleHere968 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you for being you. You make the world a better place

  • @brendafosmire6519
    @brendafosmire6519 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I appreciate you speaking about the difficulty of accepting the blessing of life - especially when they are large.

  • @swightfoof
    @swightfoof 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I first found your work because I heard you on Fresh Air years ago and I was so furious at Terry Gross's inappropriate questions that I felt compelled to find your work and listen to you on your terms. I've been a Nerdfighter ever since. Which is to say, I'm so sorry that you have to go through these incredibly exposing and upsetting interviews. Your work, hearing you on your terms not on the terms of celebrity, is so meaningful

  • @WrenStanchen
    @WrenStanchen 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Phew, I feel this so much - hurting while doing what I know is good for other people and also feeling joyful simultaneously. Thank you, John.

  • @vihakingwhimsicalflame
    @vihakingwhimsicalflame 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    glad to hear your kids enjoyed it :)

  • @mariaandersen7524
    @mariaandersen7524 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for sharing, John. As a person with an invisible chronic illness that often takes a real toll on my mental health as well, I really appreciate you and Hank having the courage to share the really difficult days as well as the joyful ones with this community. Always thinking of you and your families with love & gratitude, even though we may never meet in the physical sense of the word. May the rain pass and the sun shine again 💛

  • @DrThalnos
    @DrThalnos 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    The description of exposed nerve endings made me think of a hedgehog with nerves instead of spikes and that sounds horrific, thanks !

  • @sailorbrite
    @sailorbrite 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I appreciate that you’re willing to even mention your mental health. ❤ Thank you for showing us that even successful people struggle.

  • @alysonmarie
    @alysonmarie 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I realize this may come off as sarcastic, but I mean it so genuinely deep in my soul - John, thank you for being so freaking awesome.

  • @surewhatever8843
    @surewhatever8843 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love you, man. Keep doing what you’re doing. I sense that as you report the ‘state of things’ you reflexively feel they are littered with failings. I truly appreciate your talent for exposing everything that gets tossed in the stockpot. It’s seldom pristine runs of good fortune disrupted by long runs of nothing but misfortune. It’s all intermingled and somewhat unpredictable and when you share your experience it helps us all accept it in stride with less tripping. Thank you.

  • @auroraspeltz9910
    @auroraspeltz9910 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    *hugs* you are doing so much for those of us who struggle with mental illness with this. Thank you thank you thank you

  • @adem6371
    @adem6371 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    As someone working in mental health I feel this way too sometimes, and though not famous I relate to your feelings. I’m glad there are people like you who share their experiences because stories break down stigma and work towards the necessary collectivisation and normalisation of mental health. And that’s what keeps me going in my professional field. Big love ❤️