Here's Why I Get Mad When People Compliment My Smile
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.ย. 2024
- A transcript is available at:
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I never understood why I get mad when people compliment my smile. Whenever I'm happy and express it in a way people see as "socially appropriate" they compliment me with "it's so good to see you smile". I have always hated that I can only express myself in predetermined ways no matter how I feel.
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Sooooooo relatable!!! 100%! I was in a meeting where someone said "it's so nice to see you smiling and happy", and I had such a strong response that I had to pause and speak out loud to the group that - it's also good to see everyone.. period... in any mood you are authentically experiencing in these moments. I get a very strong F' you response, too. Thank you for this discussion and sharing!
YES. It puts a burden on us not just to be happy but to make others happy by pretending to be happy for their sake, which takes effort and divides our attention, which makes us unhappy.
Also don’t ever tell me how I feel! Ask instead, and accept my answer, over your assumption based on my face.
Oh yes, so true. Making assumptions based on my facial expression gets things so on the wrong tracks... And then I'm made responsible for the misunderstanding...
Yes! Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻❤
I have always felt different. Thank you for sharing, I know this was difficult to share. It has taken me over 60 years to realize it's OK to be different. I'm unique, and God made me special this way. I embrace it now. I hope you understand just how special you are. It's OK to be different and let people see that as you are here. I wish you peace and joy. If you feel it, it's fine if people can't see it. You know it, and that's all that matters. Someone once said "what you think of me is none of my business" I really like that because I can let it go then. Much love to you.❤
I like seeing you as you say and boy howdy my oh my do I ever relate. And by the way, are my eyes glued to the screen? No. I glance, focus, look away and so on and so forth. Shaking my head. Processing, indeed. Happy Trails.
As a child, (also autistic)i was taught that someone pays me a conpliment, just to say "thsnk you"? It saves a lot of fuss. BUT i can see that this video is not necessarily about that. Its not about the smiling for you, but interrupting an emotional state... Like suddenlky slamming the brakes on your moment of happiness that has finally reached your face... Thus even more sensiry stuff to deal with, because races feel veru different and eeird, ehen they hsvr not smiled much, then they start smiking, do there is also that, going on... and saying you must be one way to be acceptable another.
This may not necessarily be how others were feeling about you.
I suspect that it was their way of saying that they love and care about you!
There are different languages and frustrations, for various brain types. Thank you fot the video. You explained some unspoken aspects of autism very well.
Yeah people don't think about what they say. I have recently gone from mild scoliosis to severe. My spine was always a 30 degree curve but now it's a 60 degree curve with a huge rib hump and I walk slumped forward. Theres a person who commented that I look like i am feeling better. How? What does that even mean? Is my hump gone? Did the pain magically go away? It made me furious. She has done it one other time. Why because I was smiling that day!!!
These people are assuming that the only truth is what seen on the surface. They need a very obvious sign to understand your language. This is their limitation. It is frustrating and sad they do not know you very well.....like living in a foreign country.....lonely.
I'm sorry you feel bad 😢. I love you ❤️ hopefully I'll see you soon in the next video
It’s also misogynistic.
I was thinking the same. Who of us women hasn't been asked to smile more...
@@anutillman Exactly!