I had a fiance once who wanted to own half of my house that I had just bought. I said "No, this is my house." He said "So we're never going to own a house together?" and I said "Maybe, but we're not going to own this house together, because this is my house." I was so thankful I did this when we broke up several months later.
I feel exactly the same way. If you bought the house with your money, they might stay in it, but they are not entitled to part ownership unless they contributed at least that much in the purchase. Otherwise you are giving away your equity and losing any rights to use your property as see fit. You can't modify, sell, refinance or anything without their permission. It also goes both ways and will create strain on the relationship if either has a disagreement on anything. That's why I also tell ppl to not get married if they have any significant debt like credit cards or terrible credit, unless they are already in a secure position financially, and independent. I once cosigned my baby sister to get a bank account so she could get a job at 16. Everything was fine until she did what young adults do at 18 and not listen to anyone. She got a car above market value with a high interest rate, then a bf she spent her buffer on. Fell back on payments, car got repo'ed, and she's $2,600 negative because they did direct deposit and the bank kept approving the charges. So I brought the account back to positive and took my name off of it. Me and my sister then had a long conversation about talking to ppl before she gets into trouble, otherwise it becomes so big that no one can help her. She's doing pretty well now at 30, with a Roth I set up for her that I occasionally ask her how it's doing.
Isn't that an ideal situation to have a kid? Putting your future at risk because someone said they love you seems like the beginning of a happy family to me.
I took Ramsey's advice 20 years ago I was only making 30,000 dollars a year and was in debt up to my butt, did life suck for about 9 years yes. But now I'm retired and have lots of money to travel with my wife, and we are having a great time. The most I ever made was 45,000 dollars! So if you save and make the right decisions, it works!
Amen to that. I was the only wage earner for 20 years, raised 6 kids while working a very demanding career. Nobody gets to tell me what to do with my money ever again. Nor will I support a grown adult who refuses to contribute. Nope.
Took me years to convince my *now fiance* that it isn’t just a piece of paper. Completely worth it, that attitude was basically our only incompatibility.
I have always taught my daughter why I did not play house and neither will she. Thank God she has listened. We DEFINITELY DO NOT purchase or acquire debt with someone we ARE NOT married to.
Marriage makes NO difference to women. They'll dump a husband as easily as they'll dump a boyfriend. Marriage makes no difference when selling a house. You still need the consent of any co-owners. More correctly, be VERY careful when entering joint financial agreements with ANYONE.
Seems like the easiest solution is to sell everything and downsize the home and the cars. Buying a $40k car with $60k income was insane in the first place.
We bought a $24K car with our household (ie...MARRIED) income of $140K and I thought I was being a little irresponsible. Then I watch clips like this.🤯
Dave Ramsey is so wise, patient and compassionate. I truly respect his perspective… I grew up learning that a man does not have to buy a cow when he gets the milk for free. This is age-old wisdom which was developed within the common law to protect both men and women; but especially children. She was courageous to reach out to Dave but at 29, she has an awful situation. I pray all the best for her.
I was in a 14 year relationship with a compulsive spender. When we split in 1994 he was earning $95,000 but owed $85,000. He rented both his expensive car and the house we lived in. I tended to live beyond my means too but luckily his spending scared me. We never combined our finances or even bought anything together. I paid off my own credit card debt, stopped using a credit card and have been debt free for 30 years. I even paid cash for my car. It’s a great way to live.
I don’t agree with this this why divorce rates are so high you move in with some one and find out you don’t like x y and Z about there daily habits then your out in 3 years 😂 better test the waters see if it’s not to hot for you before you get burned
@@marknewton6984did you watch the video? You can end up in worse situations like this woman even if you are not married. However, keep being ignorant thinking that playing house doesn't have consequences FAFO is within your future.
@@RepentImmediately It’s not inherently risky, if structured correctly. Marriage in the United States is often regarded like any other contract, and so the people that choose to get married have considerable flexibility in how they structure the arrangement based on their immediate and foreseeable financial circumstances.
@@StephanieWitmer-iq5pv Because of what happened to the caller.. As a matter of fact, you shouldn’t even live with them if y’all aren’t married. Keep separate places.
As a young single woman years ago, I paid for my own studio apartment, all bills,and still had enough to save for emergency and retirement fund. I was working as an admin, making $28k a year in NYC. Ladies, always make sure you can take care of yourself.
So he gets to live in the house and drive the truck. She moves out and gets the crappy car. Dave is right. The ex can easily rent a place. Sell it all. You owe him nothing. The kids will be ok in a new place. It's probably harder for them losing her than the house.
My friend's daughter was in this situation. The fiancé decided after 9 years that he didn't want to marry or have kids. Fast forward a number of years, she found a wonderful guy, married and they want a family but is facing infertility now due to her age. It's not just bad financially. Women have a limited time to have children. Please don't waste those precious years waiting and hoping for the guy to marry you. Respect your own needs and desires and protect yourself.
@@intercine4986 It's not simping. It's that he thinks women are stupider then men and get taken advantage of, so he feels like he needs to be the father figure for the stupid woman. In this case, he is, the woman was pretty stupid to co-sign for cars and houses with a guy she wasn't married to.
Because Millennials and Gen Z don’t stay at the same dead end jobs long. You have to get a better job if you want to have a better grasp on your finances. It’s like going from being able to spend $5 a day to $10.
I think there’s a cause/effect relationship. People get new jobs, lifestyle creep appears, they spend a lot of money, then wind up in trouble, and now they’re calling Dave.
That was covered. She made more than he did. It seems she is filing bankruptcy to avoid debt repayment by discharging debts she had with him. Her "family advisors" are winners. 🙄
@@user-mv9tt4st9k but we still don’t know much he makes so the previous question is valid. He could be making 25-grand a year or 55 a year, that’s less than she make’s either way.
She sounded so young, I was mildly shocked when she gave her age. Her speech was imprecise, guesswork, didn't even know how many loans. Dave's expression when she gave the number as "five-ish" 😂😂
@@cm01 I like how Dave saw the humor in the fact that they DIDN'T have a checking account together. Too bad they didn't have that same mentality when it came to the house, the two vehicles and some other loans.
I know. It's terrible that people think this is an option when they didn't think of their options before. I know someone who did that years ago and couldn't even rent an apartment because she had no credit. So, she saved herself a few bucks, but it cost her in the end. In fact, she ended up marrying a man with money and quit her job and now she is at his mercy. It just doesn't work.
Bankruptee here….it CAN work if applied to the correct situation. Though my situation was much different than this caller. Single, all credit card debt, no assets, and an 11 year old car. So nothing to lose and everything to gain. Bankruptcy off the credit report and more financially disciplined now.
Yah bankruptcy is one of the best decisions I’ve made - much better than the debt itself 😂 husband and I bought a house mortgage less than rent. My debt was mostly credit cards from not having enough emergency savings and losing my job (oh well) and a car loan I could no longer afford (goodbye stupid car). Bankruptcy is a HUGE relief… that’s $40,000 off my back as I’ve been challenged by a chronic illness and still don’t have a full time job. It’s been a blessing and has worked very well for me!
Her salary recently jumped from 60K to 80K, she was dating a man with 2 kids, she moved out of the house, she’s contemplating bankruptcy & she’s calling the show. We can tell who was winning in this relationship & it definitely wasn’t her! I hope they sell the cars & house so she can have a clean slate.
Except in this case "dating" means shacking up with and having sex. I find that to be true in many cases now. The women give out the pleasure without demanding the commitment. So many women today are foolish. All ungodly men have ever wanted is free sex with no commitment. Modern feminism appears to have handed that to them on a silver platter.
@@andrebunting7603yeah weak men tend to get very threatened when their wives and girlfriends start earning more. It tends to lead to relationships breaking down
Because housing price goes UP UP UP, and because the equity will be split between two separate households neither or them will have enough to buy a new house and will therefore either have to downgrade massively in living standards or be homeless altogether.
@@gorkyd7912nope, be homeless separately. They broke up. And doing that, yr first forecast is better then staying in contact with someone you broke up with and hope they keep paying their side of the bill.
@@RepentImmediatelyStay single. Also sign a prenuptial which is there in the event of a divorce. No one gets married to get divorced bcuz that's just stupid. Also no one is going to be the same person 3 years, 7 years, or even 10 years down the road. This tunnel vision mentality is why so many people die alone. If half-@$$ing for comfort is your preference go for it but don't go crapping on those with equal faith in marriage.
@@dudeorduuude5211We're down to 9 states that acknowledge common law. My state made it clear if you want to play house waste your own time not the Family courts.
I know a young lady working as a manager at a McDonald's owned by her fiancé's father. She was telling me how her fiancé has a plan and they are about to buy a house. I told her don't buy a house until you are married. And if you do buy a house, see a lawyer if you aren't married. I assume my words went in one ear and out the other.
You would hate the way that my wife, long distance girlfriend at the time, did things then.🤣🤣🤣 We did everything "wrong" according to the relationship/financial experts in the world, and the comments section, are still together after 4 decades and have a fantastic and financially secure life..
@AStanton1966 you are so right. I know 2 women that were engaged saved money bought a house but lawyer said was a glitch and man's name on house only. Could always change later. Never changed. Big mess never was straightened out and husband got house when they divorced. Lawyer in both cases was a man.
@@oldbloke204 Different era. Don't expect young adults now to behave in a similar manner. You were both committed, but people now are taught relationships are disposable.
Playing house with no expectation of marriage is never advisable. If you're with someone for more than 2 years and no marriage, time to hit the road. Even when married, have a joint account for major expenses, rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, taxes, and keep a personal one for personal expenses, meals, little shopping, minor gifts.
I mostly agree, but most of my relationships were blissful until 3 years in. If I insisted on marriage two years in, I would be divorced. I would never marry anyone until we've been together 3 to 4 years.
I have never understood people that do the; let's combine our bank accounts, bills/payments, etc even though we aren't married. I've seen this a few times, they all failed just like Dave said. If you want to shack up, great but keep your finances seperate.
All failed eh? My now wife sent her money to me to invest, as I was working in a bank, after only a few months of going out together. We also lived in different states at the time. She moved states to be with me and we had 2 kids together before we married a few years later. I handled the finances and worked while she was a stay at home mum, for the most part, until our kids were grown. According to popular thinking we did everything "wrong" but we're still together and very happy after close to 4 decades and our kids are all going great. We also retired earlier than most and now enjoy all our time together.
@@StephanieWitmer-iq5pv Making sweeping generalizations in most things in life is pointless imo. My wife trusts me to make all the financial decisions with our joint funds and in fact I struggle to get her to take any interest in it all. We're a unit in all things not 2 individuals sharing a roof/bed.
@oldbloke204 You're an anomaly. The norm is that diarhea hits the fan. From the way you wrote "mum" I gather you're not in America. In the sweet US of A where dysfunction is normalized, this type of arrangement almost always goes wrong.
It’s even a bad idea to shack up because even if you try to keep things separate, most states in the US have common law marriages so if a judge thinks you acted like a married couple you’re a married couple. Best to either get married or live separately.
I've been around the block a time or two but I've never heard of so many people getting involved together in debt without being married....seems to rarely work out well.
I made the same mistake of buying a house with my fiancee. Then he started really being a jerk to me, and I figured out he was an alcoholic so I left. Never made that mistake again.
It's called ignorance and being stupid. Unfortunate for them. Hopefully they both learn. This woman, she's gotta learn more. She stupid enough to change her decisions and put herself in even more vulnerability because of what might happen with his children. Who have a different mother. Not her problem but she seems to want to sacrifice herself just in case.
Back in the 1980s I worked in the mortgage department of a savings and loan assn. We had two middle-aged ladies in the originations department. I can't tell you how many times young unmarried couples came in looking for financing to buy a home together. And these ladies were great they would tell the couple very nicely and very gently but point blank that they were making a big mistake and why. And it was for the exact same reasons as seen in this video.
I have an ex who wanted to be on the deed to my house, and I absolutely refused. She was pissed and I said, "Oh well." We aren't married. This is my house. I qas tbe only one on the mortgage and the deed. Im so glad i stood my ground.
@@georgeslupski5987 I kinda got the same impression. She sounded like a gal out with her wine drinking buddies drowning their misery in too many glasses of booze... then next week all bubbly again about the new guy they just moved in with. 10-15 years from now she'll have 2-3 kids from different dudes and wonder why life is so hard as a single mom.
@@sidwhiting665 Guarantee she just got promoted and her friends and family are telling her to trade up. They prob dont like this guy already bc hes a single dad w two kids. Eventhough he's obviously paying the bills otherwise the house and cars would be in her name (meaning he moved in w her already established).
Just another example why living together as if you are married is a bad idea... Don't buy anything together! What should be a simple "hey things aren't working out" turns into a huge and expensive legal mess. At least if you are married you have some protections.
Laura Ingalls Wilder recreation house is there in Indendence Ka. It's such a simple house and so small but they made it work for them. We invite trouble into our home living lives we cannot afford.
I like that Dave doesn’t judge or hate on the relation aspect but he thinks through financial (not emotional) answers to her situation. If they manage to find a way to dissolve their names on what they still have partnered in then it can be resolved in such a way that works for both parties, then neither of them need the stain of bankruptcy against their names. Great advice for everyone at the end.
Bought a house with my fiancée and we broke up before we got married. Worst mistake! I’m in a good place now but the stress to remove my name wasn’t worth it. Flee from these decisions!
Why does she, as the woman, feel like she needs to ensure that this grown man is well off? He is grown, he needs to ensure that his finances are in order to care for himself and his sons.
She is not bankrupt at all, no way the guy is letting her off his gravy train without a fight tho She is gonna have to sue to force the sell of the house and cars; but it's a pretty slam dunk case to do that so is not gonna cost her that much and she will likely walk away at net zero since the house has equity and the cars probably have negative equity.
Yeah, Dave kind of realized that after saying it that he needed to throw in that "metaphorically" qualifier. The whole reason this mess took place is they were screwing before committing themselves to each other. And then the divorced dude left. Not surprising. Sounds like he's 0-2 (at least). What poor young woman will take him in next? Why are so many young women foolish enough to give out the sex without the ring? All the dude wants is the physical pleasure without any of the commitment that should come with it. Is that what "feminism" has accomplished?
@@PatMaddoxSee, if they were married and got divorced, she wouldn’t have to have an awkward conversation. The courts would tell them what to do. This is a mess
It's financial avoidance. She managed to get up enough courage to make the phone call, but she hasn't yet got up enough courage to look down at the pile she's standing in.
Keep separate places. Personally, you shouldn’t really live with someone you’re not married to, unless it’s your roommate. I know it’s not practical in our culture today, but, this is also how people end up in “crutch” relationships.
There is no problem with moving together into RENTAL property. Just create one neutral bank account for shared living costs - same the was many do with their roommates and put it into your rental agreement about what that money is allowed to go to and how it gets devided in case you end the co-habitation contract.
I think people do it because they are both paying 1500 a month for rent and realize they re spending all their time together anyway. They also want to see if they can "live with" and "get along with" the other person. It really is a different world when you take two different 'at home' personalities and combine them.
@@Zoltarswimthat is the purpose of dating, to see if u can “live with” the other person. This should never be literally. If things change then one or both involved are putting on their fake face, only to appease and keep the others interest. I have yet to see a relationship work out successfully in your dream world.
@@RepentImmediately But in a divorce, it’s easier to hold the other person financially accountable because they were you spouse versus someone you were just roommates with. Always best to go into home ownership with someone you are married to. Always.
I am not a romantic. I have a partner but not married. However, our finances are separate. Courts know how to dissolve marriages not failed “shack ups”. Marriage is an important binding contracts with protections for each party.
Why would you call Dave Ramsey and NOT have all your numbers in front of you!? “I think I owe maybe $25, 000 or maybe it’s $49,000! What? How do you not k ow what you make!?
whether you are married or not is irrelevant. Having gone through a divorce 4 years ago, I dont see how her situation is any different than mine was. You still have to divide crap up, argue over who is going to pay what, whether its divorce or not. I still had to file bankruptcy to get out from under the house I let her have and get rid of the CC she ran up behind my back. 4 years later im completely recovered from chapter 7 and own my own home.
Love watching Dave giving out so many different advice to go about getting out of a life financial situation. So glad I have no debt. No wife. No kids and I plan to stay this way for a while. 😅
From experience ...... STAY that way. It makes for a very secure and happy life. Just find a great, like minded thinking woman and enjoy life with you having YOUR money and her having HER money, but also being together with NO document binding you to each other legally. I've been doing it for almost 18 years with her and life is excellent.
@@dyates6380 you mean you found a woman who doesn't want to get married. Most women not waiting even 10 percent of that time to get married. Did you not listen to the video? These ppl have been shaking up. Good luck living 18 years away from a woman you love that's called a breakup or a divorce.
Good for you, dont get married no matter how appealing it might be at the time. Its a contract that is enforced by the government. You can have a long term meaningful relationship with one woman without marriage/entering into a legally binding contract. Good luck.
Sitting together and talking about it won’t work. I can guarantee that. One way or another emotions and feelings that they had in the past will pop up, leading to a completely different topic. Have you ever try to reason with your spouse about something small, only to find out 5 minutes later that you guys are arguing about something that happened 3 months ago? I think the best of course action is to sue the guy (and hoping he’ll do whatever she asks him to do) or just declare bankruptcy and move on with her life. She’s still very young to recover from this mess.
What shocks me and I see it all the time with men and women and that is, people who are excellent at work, make good money but they make the dumbest decisions in their personal life. I mean this girl earns $80 grand, pretty good but her decisions regarding her personal life and these assets and debts are just DUMB!!
Love makes people do dumb things especially when there is sexual intimacy involved. Also, narcissists are very adept at manipulating people they're sleeping with. The conversation usually goes something like this: "You are willing to trust me with your body but not your money? Are you suggesting that your body is worth less than the XXX dollars that you cannot trust me with?"
"Rachel's an independen- A. t single mom and if you can't handle my 2 kids and are over 6'' you better WALK!!" B. ce, Kansas." Ramsay: "B" My brain: "Oh thank God."
Dave touched on it. U dont have to be married to buy things together. u need to see a lawyer and layout the paperwork before hand so everybody knows where the finances stand. Marriage makes it easier legally but it can be done without it. Given most Marriages end because of finances so getting the paperwork laid out before hand only helps.
Rapid sale to settle debt and rebuild life = cheap price = less equity. Less equity is then divided across 2 households = very low equity each, means they can't afford to buy anything new. That's also why when people get divorced they usually don't force sale of the home so that each can collect equal equity. Usually the house goes to the one who keeps the kids, and in this situation that's the man.
My wife was adamant about getting married first before moving in together. For most couples, I think this is probably the better way to go. Make a commitment first, then start to combine stuff. I have women colleagues who live with their boyfriends who have waited years to get proposed to. The women letting them has basically said to their man I am okay living with you without a commitment. What it does to the woman is delays their chance to have kids, holds both of them back to buying a better house together. Too many people out there don’t communicate this with their partner and waste too much time waiting. If you want marriage, tell your partner what you want. If they want it, get out of it and move on.
I agreed. I learned that the hard way he suggested I move in with him to save money so I could go to graduate school. I wound up working two jobs and going to school because I had to support us both! Never again! You want me to pay the bills and maintain a home, you put a ring on me!
@@littlesongbird1 ... and that ring would have prevented you from wounding up supporting the two of you? I mean ... lots of women (and men) are out there working their butts of, while the other one is contributing zero to the household. A ring ain´t gonna change that, so I fail to see the point made?
There are less than 2% of men I imagine who would be willing to Marry a woman before seeing if he can tolerate living with her first. You don’t know a person until you’ve lived with them for a year.
There is no perfect recipe. I lived with my ex and it saved me from a marriage that eventually would have led to a divorce. (We did get engaged while living together - the ring means nothing!).
@mrjack8849 Yes and no. There are loads of couples around that split up just after a year, two, three after they get married simply because they suddenly realize that dating a couple of times a week and maybe staying over for the weekend is not the same as living together. Suddenly they realize not everything is so rosy after all. Nothing wrong with renting together or living in a property owned by one of the parties as long as the moving in person is not expected to pay mortgage, invest in repairs etc. @littlesongbird1 Well, the problem in your case sadly isn't about a dating couple vs a married couple rather than one party using the other which does happen in marriages as well.
This is a thing now. In the past 3 years, I’ve been to 7 weddings: ALL of the couples had already bought and moved into a home together. And gotten puppies. All of them.
I learned this the hard way. I love you. Doesn't mean I own you. We had to file bankruptcy and foreclose on our house, because we were upside-down on our mortgage. After 7 years with zero credit to my name. I'll NEVER EVER go halfies with anyone. My girlfriend of 6 years heard me loud and clear. Your debt is your problem and mine is mine.
Yep, and she, like so many "modern" women, gave up all the pleasure without demand the commitment. And they wonder why their lives sound like a sad country song.... modern feminism has reached its logical conclusion.
There are laws and procedures for married couples that deal with jointly-owned property when they divorce. When they aren't married, it's a mess like this one. It would be even worse if they had children together.
I had a fiance once who wanted to own half of my house that I had just bought. I said "No, this is my house." He said "So we're never going to own a house together?" and I said "Maybe, but we're not going to own this house together, because this is my house." I was so thankful I did this when we broke up several months later.
Was his name Hank??
Wow you're awful
He sure had a lot of nerve.
I feel exactly the same way. If you bought the house with your money, they might stay in it, but they are not entitled to part ownership unless they contributed at least that much in the purchase. Otherwise you are giving away your equity and losing any rights to use your property as see fit. You can't modify, sell, refinance or anything without their permission. It also goes both ways and will create strain on the relationship if either has a disagreement on anything.
That's why I also tell ppl to not get married if they have any significant debt like credit cards or terrible credit, unless they are already in a secure position financially, and independent.
I once cosigned my baby sister to get a bank account so she could get a job at 16. Everything was fine until she did what young adults do at 18 and not listen to anyone. She got a car above market value with a high interest rate, then a bf she spent her buffer on. Fell back on payments, car got repo'ed, and she's $2,600 negative because they did direct deposit and the bank kept approving the charges. So I brought the account back to positive and took my name off of it. Me and my sister then had a long conversation about talking to ppl before she gets into trouble, otherwise it becomes so big that no one can help her. She's doing pretty well now at 30, with a Roth I set up for her that I occasionally ask her how it's doing.
@@ERIN_198 Nah, she's smart.
NEVER EVER put your future at risk because someone tells you they love you.
Exactly. That is why you should never marry a female.
Amen!
Isn't that an ideal situation to have a kid? Putting your future at risk because someone said they love you seems like the beginning of a happy family to me.
@@jaquandrejonesI think it was understood: they tell you they love you, but won't marry you.
@@Lucia-qu2bw marriage is never even implied in that sentence. You tried tho
I took Ramsey's advice 20 years ago I was only making 30,000 dollars a year and was in debt up to my butt, did life suck for about 9 years yes. But now I'm retired and have lots of money to travel with my wife, and we are having a great time. The most I ever made was 45,000 dollars! So if you save and make the right decisions, it works!
How did you do it? I need advice. I'm not in the US so Ramsey's examples don't really translate where I am, but interested to hear.
@@bearkiels9032yes they do
❤❤❤
You’re my hero!! I know a handful of others who did this and it’s great to add another to the list! I’ll tell my son it’s still possible!
If ever there was a modern lie being told it is “it’s just a piece of paper”.
It’s a legal contract and my divorce cost me a fortune. I will never get married again. Happy to live with my boyfriend and keep separate finances.
@@catherinewilke5583 in some circumstances marriage isn’t the right thing especially for well to do women.
It is a legal contract to dissolve assets / marriage. It is important if you want children. However, if you choose not to marry - separate finances.
Amen to that. I was the only wage earner for 20 years, raised 6 kids while working a very demanding career. Nobody gets to tell me what to do with my money ever again. Nor will I support a grown adult who refuses to contribute. Nope.
Took me years to convince my *now fiance* that it isn’t just a piece of paper. Completely worth it, that attitude was basically our only incompatibility.
I have always taught my daughter why I did not play house and neither will she. Thank God she has listened. We DEFINITELY DO NOT purchase or acquire debt with someone we ARE NOT married to.
Marriage makes NO difference to women. They'll dump a husband as easily as they'll dump a boyfriend. Marriage makes no difference when selling a house. You still need the consent of any co-owners. More correctly, be VERY careful when entering joint financial agreements with ANYONE.
Amen!
The wise parent manages her expectations about how well her adult child has absorbed her values.
50 % DIVORCE RATE. Even worse.
Don't get married.
Not committed enough to get married- but they take on debt together. I don't get it and never will.
I went the opposite direction. Got married but only after I finished paying off my debt by myself so we never had to worry about it as a couple.
People lack any financial education. So they zag when they should zig.
💯
Consumerism
And not committed enough to open a joint checking account but let’s pile on joint debt!!!
This is why the saying is "You're single until you're married" Govern yourself accordingly
Amen
💯🙌🏽
Seems like the easiest solution is to sell everything and downsize the home and the cars. Buying a $40k car with $60k income was insane in the first place.
We bought a $24K car with our household (ie...MARRIED) income of $140K and I thought I was being a little irresponsible. Then I watch clips like this.🤯
Dave Ramsey is so wise, patient and compassionate. I truly respect his perspective…
I grew up learning that a man does not have to buy a cow when he gets the milk for free. This is age-old wisdom which was developed within the common law to protect both men and women; but especially children. She was courageous to reach out to Dave but at 29, she has an awful situation. I pray all the best for her.
I was in a 14 year relationship with a compulsive spender. When we split in 1994 he was earning $95,000 but owed $85,000. He rented both his expensive car and the house we lived in. I tended to live beyond my means too but luckily his spending scared me. We never combined our finances or even bought anything together. I paid off my own credit card debt, stopped using a credit card and have been debt free for 30 years. I even paid cash for my car. It’s a great way to live.
"Playing house" is never worth the risk!
Play..
But don't get married!
@@marknewton6984 Yep, its a contract men seldom win in the end.
Worked great for me 🤷♀️
I don’t agree with this this why divorce rates are so high you move in with some one and find out you don’t like x y and Z about there daily habits then your out in 3 years 😂 better test the waters see if it’s not to hot for you before you get burned
@@marknewton6984did you watch the video? You can end up in worse situations like this woman even if you are not married. However, keep being ignorant thinking that playing house doesn't have consequences FAFO is within your future.
The most amazing thing to me is ~60k owed on cars in a house worth 130k.
I know!!! I was shocked (though these days I guess I shouldn't be)
Heck I knew people whose truck was worth more than their house.
The house is likely a trailer
Move to Florida. Everyones lives in a small house w Benz's and BMWs in their driveway.
The mentality is one can live in a car but one cannot drive a house.
This is why you don't live together and play house. This is how people screw up their lives.
Marriage is the leading cause of divorce.
@@oldhag2881Shacking up is better?
I know a couple that were common law for years. Two kids then they got married lasted a year. I don't get it.
I know a couple that were common law for years. Two kids then they got married lasted a year. I don't get it.
I know a couple that were common law for years. Two kids then they got married lasted a year. I don't get it.
Right Dave! When people aren’t married but shack up, things like this happen.
I can’t believe people buy houses with someone they aren’t married to. Baffles me.
That's like the most normal thing in the western world, lol
I can't believe people get married, frankly. That's a HUGE financial risk.
@@RepentImmediately It’s not inherently risky, if structured correctly. Marriage in the United States is often regarded like any other contract, and so the people that choose to get married have considerable flexibility in how they structure the arrangement based on their immediate and foreseeable financial circumstances.
@@StephanieWitmer-iq5pv Because of what happened to the caller.. As a matter of fact, you shouldn’t even live with them if y’all aren’t married. Keep separate places.
@@tonytoni1150AMEN
As a young single woman years ago, I paid for my own studio apartment, all bills,and still had enough to save for emergency and retirement fund. I was working as an admin, making $28k a year in NYC.
Ladies, always make sure you can take care of yourself.
My mother always told me and my 3 sisters be able to take care of yourself and your kids - never know what might happen
$28 a YEAR? Or $28K a year?
28 dollars a year 👏👏😂😂 outstanding
good on ya
Amazing how you could stretch $28 over an entire year 😵💫
So he gets to live in the house and drive the truck. She moves out and gets the crappy car. Dave is right. The ex can easily rent a place. Sell it all. You owe him nothing. The kids will be ok in a new place. It's probably harder for them losing her than the house.
I know the kids will be alright. I moved around all over as a military brat. It was a healthy experience.
My friend's daughter was in this situation. The fiancé decided after 9 years that he didn't want to marry or have kids. Fast forward a number of years, she found a wonderful guy, married and they want a family but is facing infertility now due to her age. It's not just bad financially. Women have a limited time to have children. Please don't waste those precious years waiting and hoping for the guy to marry you. Respect your own needs and desires and protect yourself.
9 years wow… that loser stole a decade of her prime.
Well that's the risk you take either party can change their mind on having kids at any time!
Dude, she is 29. Don't be a weenie.
@@ykook7000
sure thing buddy
She could have left at any time. Sounds like she should have got her priorities together earlier.
Mr Ramsey is so kind and gentle with callers. I bet he is a good dad.
Always seemping for woman. We didn't hear his side and we rarely do.
@@intercine4986 FACTS
@@intercine4986 It's not simping. It's that he thinks women are stupider then men and get taken advantage of, so he feels like he needs to be the father figure for the stupid woman. In this case, he is, the woman was pretty stupid to co-sign for cars and houses with a guy she wasn't married to.
I am always AMAZED by the fact that, almost every time, when Dave asks what they make, they just started a new job. That is incredible.
Same thought here. It’s like they’re making shit up
Because flaky people don't stay at the same job long.
Because Millennials and Gen Z don’t stay at the same dead end jobs long. You have to get a better job if you want to have a better grasp on your finances. It’s like going from being able to spend $5 a day to $10.
I think there’s a cause/effect relationship. People get new jobs, lifestyle creep appears, they spend a lot of money, then wind up in trouble, and now they’re calling Dave.
@@annaburns2865been at my current company for going on 3 years, additionally, it isn’t wise to stay long at the same company in todays world generally
I wish Dave would’ve asked how much he made. She was more than likely the breadwinner.
@DaveRamseyDirectMesssagestop w this fake engagement. BOT
That was covered. She made more than he did. It seems she is filing bankruptcy to avoid debt repayment by discharging debts she had with him. Her "family advisors" are winners. 🙄
@@user-mv9tt4st9k but we still don’t know much he makes so the previous question is valid. He could be making 25-grand a year or 55 a year, that’s less than she make’s either way.
She sounded so young, I was mildly shocked when she gave her age. Her speech was imprecise, guesswork, didn't even know how many loans. Dave's expression when she gave the number as "five-ish" 😂😂
Probably irrelevant to the advice he gave her.
It happens over and over again. Ladies STOP it please!
Why does that advice only apply to ladies?
@@OtisFlint , it doesn’t. To make some people happy, this person should have said, “Ladies and Gentleman”.😉
Men please stop
…men too because she’ll expect you to pay it all.
Men are never held accountable for their own actions.
A house, 2 cars, and a few loans
😮 and a truck of course, and kids from previous marriage. Ugh.
AND not married 😢
of course they would never open a checking account together that would be crazy
Very messy.
@@cm01 I like how Dave saw the humor in the fact that they DIDN'T have a checking account together. Too bad they didn't have that same mentality when it came to the house, the two vehicles and some other loans.
🚩
People suggest bankruptcy like they’re passing out Halloween candy!
I know. It's terrible that people think this is an option when they didn't think of their options before. I know someone who did that years ago and couldn't even rent an apartment because she had no credit. So, she saved herself a few bucks, but it cost her in the end. In fact, she ended up marrying a man with money and quit her job and now she is at his mercy. It just doesn't work.
Bankruptee here….it CAN work if applied to the correct situation. Though my situation was much different than this caller. Single, all credit card debt, no assets, and an 11 year old car. So nothing to lose and everything to gain. Bankruptcy off the credit report and more financially disciplined now.
Yah bankruptcy is one of the best decisions I’ve made - much better than the debt itself 😂 husband and I bought a house mortgage less than rent. My debt was mostly credit cards from not having enough emergency savings and losing my job (oh well) and a car loan I could no longer afford (goodbye stupid car). Bankruptcy is a HUGE relief… that’s $40,000 off my back as I’ve been challenged by a chronic illness and still don’t have a full time job. It’s been a blessing and has worked very well for me!
Living life on plastic then declare bankrupt 🤔
@@sinclairw5311Same. Except I’m not single. We were drowning. It’s also so embarrassing, but we learned our lesson.
DON'T ever sign together for things until you are actually married. At least then, you have a legal contract for each being responsible.
Her salary recently jumped from 60K to 80K, she was dating a man with 2 kids, she moved out of the house, she’s contemplating bankruptcy & she’s calling the show. We can tell who was winning in this relationship & it definitely wasn’t her! I hope they sell the cars & house so she can have a clean slate.
Except in this case "dating" means shacking up with and having sex. I find that to be true in many cases now. The women give out the pleasure without demanding the commitment. So many women today are foolish. All ungodly men have ever wanted is free sex with no commitment. Modern feminism appears to have handed that to them on a silver platter.
You see it a lot, the woman starts to make more money then all of a sudden things aren't good and it's time to leave.
@@andrebunting7603isn't that the truth.
@@andrebunting7603 100% think this is what happened.
@@andrebunting7603yeah weak men tend to get very threatened when their wives and girlfriends start earning more. It tends to lead to relationships breaking down
Boys and girls, a cautionary tale to not combine finances until those doted lines are signed.
*dotted
Regarding the house: Why not just sell it, pay off the mortgage, and split the proceeds 50/50? They can both live somewhere else.
Because housing price goes UP UP UP, and because the equity will be split between two separate households neither or them will have enough to buy a new house and will therefore either have to downgrade massively in living standards or be homeless altogether.
@@gorkyd7912nope, be homeless separately. They broke up. And doing that, yr first forecast is better then staying in contact with someone you broke up with and hope they keep paying their side of the bill.
That's fine if they both agree. Agreeing is the problem here.
**hangs up on Rachel**
"When I tell you people shacking up not do this....Rachel is a case study on why". 😂😂😂
Some of his manorisms and actions are zesty sometimes haha 😅
He’s not wrong….
Take note: A girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance is NOT a husband or wife!!! This is why "practically married" is a joke!
This is true....a husband or wife can divorce you and walk away with half.
There is such thing as common-law, in normal countries.
@@StephanieWitmer-iq5pvNah, we’re good over here
@@RepentImmediatelyStay single. Also sign a prenuptial which is there in the event of a divorce. No one gets married to get divorced bcuz that's just stupid. Also no one is going to be the same person 3 years, 7 years, or even 10 years down the road. This tunnel vision mentality is why so many people die alone. If half-@$$ing for comfort is your preference go for it but don't go crapping on those with equal faith in marriage.
@@dudeorduuude5211We're down to 9 states that acknowledge common law. My state made it clear if you want to play house waste your own time not the Family courts.
I know a young lady working as a manager at a McDonald's owned by her fiancé's father. She was telling me how her fiancé has a plan and they are about to buy a house. I told her don't buy a house until you are married. And if you do buy a house, see a lawyer if you aren't married. I assume my words went in one ear and out the other.
You would hate the way that my wife, long distance girlfriend at the time, did things then.🤣🤣🤣
We did everything "wrong" according to the relationship/financial experts in the world, and the comments section, are still together after 4 decades and have a fantastic and financially secure life..
@@oldbloke204 Hey, what can I say? Even broke clocks are right twice a day!
@@oldbloke204 I'm only at the 27 year mark, so I don't want to speak too soon.
@AStanton1966 you are so right. I know 2 women that were engaged saved money bought a house but lawyer said was a glitch and man's name on house only. Could always change later. Never changed. Big mess never was straightened out and husband got house when they divorced. Lawyer in both cases was a man.
@@oldbloke204 Different era. Don't expect young adults now to behave in a similar manner. You were both committed, but people now are taught relationships are disposable.
Playing house with no expectation of marriage is never advisable. If you're with someone for more than 2 years and no marriage, time to hit the road. Even when married, have a joint account for major expenses, rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, taxes, and keep a personal one for personal expenses, meals, little shopping, minor gifts.
I mostly agree, but most of my relationships were blissful until 3 years in. If I insisted on marriage two years in, I would be divorced. I would never marry anyone until we've been together 3 to 4 years.
I have never understood people that do the; let's combine our bank accounts, bills/payments, etc even though we aren't married. I've seen this a few times, they all failed just like Dave said. If you want to shack up, great but keep your finances seperate.
All failed eh?
My now wife sent her money to me to invest, as I was working in a bank, after only a few months of going out together. We also lived in different states at the time.
She moved states to be with me and we had 2 kids together before we married a few years later.
I handled the finances and worked while she was a stay at home mum, for the most part, until our kids were grown.
According to popular thinking we did everything "wrong" but we're still together and very happy after close to 4 decades and our kids are all going great.
We also retired earlier than most and now enjoy all our time together.
@@StephanieWitmer-iq5pv Making sweeping generalizations in most things in life is pointless imo.
My wife trusts me to make all the financial decisions with our joint funds and in fact I struggle to get her to take any interest in it all.
We're a unit in all things not 2 individuals sharing a roof/bed.
@oldbloke204
You're an anomaly. The norm is that diarhea hits the fan. From the way you wrote "mum" I gather you're not in America. In the sweet US of A where dysfunction is normalized, this type of arrangement almost always goes wrong.
@@sblijheid 🤣🤣
Australia and we have an equal number of whackjobs and those who can't keep relationships working.
Seems the norm these days........
It’s even a bad idea to shack up because even if you try to keep things separate, most states in the US have common law marriages so if a judge thinks you acted like a married couple you’re a married couple. Best to either get married or live separately.
I've been around the block a time or two but I've never heard of so many people getting involved together in debt without being married....seems to rarely work out well.
I made the same mistake of buying a house with my fiancee. Then he started really being a jerk to me, and I figured out he was an alcoholic so I left. Never made that mistake again.
She’s worried about whether he has a place to live, no I would not be worried about that at all
She's worried about the kids. How is that not crystal clear ?
Yeah that's one reason why the color is a better person than you
@@passthetunaporfavornot her kids. You think she will have visitation rights after she puts the hammer down?
She sounds like a enabler.
I can't understand how you buy a car or truck as a "single" person and have someones name on it. Her situation is a complete mess.
Maybe he cosigned car. Or they just putvbothbnames.
It's called ignorance and being stupid. Unfortunate for them. Hopefully they both learn. This woman, she's gotta learn more. She stupid enough to change her decisions and put herself in even more vulnerability because of what might happen with his children. Who have a different mother. Not her problem but she seems to want to sacrifice herself just in case.
Back in the 1980s I worked in the mortgage department of a savings and loan assn. We had two middle-aged ladies in the originations department. I can't tell you how many times young unmarried couples came in looking for financing to buy a home together. And these ladies were great they would tell the couple very nicely and very gently but point blank that they were making a big mistake and why. And it was for the exact same reasons as seen in this video.
That is actually very nice and wholesome. Most sales ppl would not care as long as they get comission.
Dave has been waiting patiently for this call. Very sad, I really hope it works out for her.
I have an ex who wanted to be on the deed to my house, and I absolutely refused. She was pissed and I said, "Oh well." We aren't married. This is my house. I qas tbe only one on the mortgage and the deed. Im so glad i stood my ground.
She doesn't even sound like she's done with him. She sounds broken hearted. She is not going to do what Dave told her.
Give the same energy to males. Stop seemping for 304s
I agree, she's is just calling Ramsey looking for comfort, his answers didn't seem to do that, she will prob be in same spot 3 months from now
@@georgeslupski5987 I kinda got the same impression. She sounded like a gal out with her wine drinking buddies drowning their misery in too many glasses of booze... then next week all bubbly again about the new guy they just moved in with. 10-15 years from now she'll have 2-3 kids from different dudes and wonder why life is so hard as a single mom.
@@sidwhiting665 Guarantee she just got promoted and her friends and family are telling her to trade up. They prob dont like this guy already bc hes a single dad w two kids. Eventhough he's obviously paying the bills otherwise the house and cars would be in her name (meaning he moved in w her already established).
@@intercine4986We don’t know if she fits that description.
Just another example why living together as if you are married is a bad idea... Don't buy anything together! What should be a simple "hey things aren't working out" turns into a huge and expensive legal mess. At least if you are married you have some protections.
Common law marriage is a thing.
@@marikiemarie7622It’s a legal thing not recognized everywhere in the US.
@BlueDauntless it is for me every where. Because I'm from a stage that is recognized.
Laura Ingalls Wilder recreation house is there in Indendence Ka. It's such a simple house and so small but they made it work for them. We invite trouble into our home living lives we cannot afford.
Good point
Thi is a good man giving proper advice that really helps, I’m so sorry for that girl.
Dave is an wonderful gent. "Small leaks sink big ships." Attributed to Ben Franklin.
Zillow is not accurate. Never trust Zillow with the value of your house. It's often overstated
not where are live, zillow is very accurate
Zillow was exact when I sold my house
I like that Dave doesn’t judge or hate on the relation aspect but he thinks through financial (not emotional) answers to her situation. If they manage to find a way to dissolve their names on what they still have partnered in then it can be resolved in such a way that works for both parties, then neither of them need the stain of bankruptcy against their names. Great advice for everyone at the end.
Never mix finances with no marriage 😮.
Be careful what commitment you enter into business or marriage
Bought a house with my fiancée and we broke up before we got married. Worst mistake! I’m in a good place now but the stress to remove my name wasn’t worth it. Flee from these decisions!
… Thank you Dave for all the great advice over the years… 👍👍
Ramsey almost had a heart attack when she said "the boys". He thought it was his friends for a second.
I think he thought they had kids together she hadn't mentioned?
That or dogs
I was more worried about him suing her for child support. He could say she played a motherly role.
Haha! 😂
😂😂😂
Why does she, as the woman, feel like she needs to ensure that this grown man is well off? He is grown, he needs to ensure that his finances are in order to care for himself and his sons.
It amazes me
@linahmahlangu7064 me too. Probably says a lot about their relationship
That's just women. They find a broken man and try to fix him.
Because she's a good person who is clearly getting taken advantage of.
Simpkin him lol
She is not bankrupt at all, no way the guy is letting her off his gravy train without a fight tho
She is gonna have to sue to force the sell of the house and cars; but it's a pretty slam dunk case to do that so is not gonna cost her that much and she will likely walk away at net zero since the house has equity and the cars probably have negative equity.
Like to see Dave talk about his Rachael
It costs several thousand dollars to open a legal case for forced sale.
"You get screwed in the process, metaphorically". And and good probability that's what got you into this mess, in reality.
That’s literally what got them into this mess. This, folks, is the appropriate use of the word “literally”.
@@genxx2724yes, yes it is.
Unfortunately there are people who after a breakup they try to make the life of the other partner difficult
She’s wanting to declare
Bankruptcy and leave him with their shared debt. Who’s making who miserable?
Yes, It's a good idea to refinance the house and cars, to get the titles right.
This is the classic why you don't play house! Not married don't live together!
"you get screwed in the process, metaphorically" 😂😂😂 Don't do it people.
Yeah, Dave kind of realized that after saying it that he needed to throw in that "metaphorically" qualifier. The whole reason this mess took place is they were screwing before committing themselves to each other. And then the divorced dude left. Not surprising. Sounds like he's 0-2 (at least). What poor young woman will take him in next?
Why are so many young women foolish enough to give out the sex without the ring? All the dude wants is the physical pleasure without any of the commitment that should come with it. Is that what "feminism" has accomplished?
I was glad he added “metaphorically” to clear up any confusion 😂
The real Ramsey+ is Dave speaking while whoever else happens to be sitting beside him.
Why are people having money problems with people they aren’t married to?
Their not having money problems, she just got promoted and is looking to trade up from a single dad w two kids.
So they can avoid worse money problems with people they’re divorcing.
I don't get it.
@@PatMaddoxSee, if they were married and got divorced, she wouldn’t have to have an awkward conversation. The courts would tell them what to do.
This is a mess
I’m so glad this co host was there. Deep
3:21 Ken is working hard on the crossword puzzle.
Lol his face expressions look like it 😂
Lol. Ken is a Ken doll😊
😂😂😂
Do not! Repeat . . . Do not put anyone’s name in anything if you are not married!
If you don't have children, don't get involved with someone that does.
Good point
this was painful to listen to
That's why I like Dave, he tells it like it is no sugar coating anything. 😅😅😅
I've never heard that one "taking poison and hoping he dies"....that is classic.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
- Saint Augustine, 354-430
Unforgiveness is the same way - taking poison and hoping the other person dies.
@@genxx2724 Thank you for teaching me the proper citation!
Count your Blessings.
You avoided a train wreck.
❤🇺🇸❤
How in the world do people call Dave and not know what they owe before making the call! No wonder they are in debt and making stupid mistakes.
It's financial avoidance. She managed to get up enough courage to make the phone call, but she hasn't yet got up enough courage to look down at the pile she's standing in.
@@greg_216Right. Here's hoping she keeps up the momentum.
Yes... She was pretty vague about her finances.
Happens all the time. "Ummm...maybe about...I think it's around... In not sure...let me see..."
His last comment! Rolling on the floor laughing. So funny. Good one Dave!
So True, giving all Praise 2 Jesus ❤ I had a bankruptcy lawyer tell me not 2 File 🌹✨🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
God’s way is the best way. It gets proven time and time again.
😂
Over 50 percent of marriage end in divorce... vague comment, but I assume you mean marriage.
Possibly gluttony (debt)
Incredibly false. 😂😂😂
Whatever that may mean...
I wish more people listened to this advice.
Keep separate places. Personally, you shouldn’t really live with someone you’re not married to, unless it’s your roommate. I know it’s not practical in our culture today, but, this is also how people end up in “crutch” relationships.
I've heard the term placeholder. 😬
There is no problem with moving together into RENTAL property. Just create one neutral bank account for shared living costs - same the was many do with their roommates and put it into your rental agreement about what that money is allowed to go to and how it gets devided in case you end the co-habitation contract.
Na, completely disagree with you. My gf and I are renting together and it's fine. Being together on a lease saves money and isn't a big deal.
Very helpful tip! Very realistic and so many things to consider
So true. Don’t buy a house with a live-in! Marriage then house, in that order.
Sounds like a really good girl, i pray you come out of it successful
This is why I don’t understand living together before marriage…
Married people get financially screwed over by their spouse pretty frequently.
I think people do it because they are both paying 1500 a month for rent and realize they re spending all their time together anyway. They also want to see if they can "live with" and "get along with" the other person. It really is a different world when you take two different 'at home' personalities and combine them.
@@Zoltarswimthat is the purpose of dating, to see if u can “live with” the other person. This should never be literally. If things change then one or both involved are putting on their fake face, only to appease and keep the others interest. I have yet to see a relationship work out successfully in your dream world.
There's no way I wouldnt live with someone before getting married. Gotta make sure you're compatible with each other first
@@RepentImmediately
But in a divorce, it’s easier to hold the other person financially accountable because they were you spouse versus someone you were just roommates with. Always best to go into home ownership with someone you are married to. Always.
I am not a romantic. I have a partner but not married. However, our finances are separate. Courts know how to dissolve marriages not failed “shack ups”. Marriage is an important binding contracts with protections for each party.
Why would you call Dave Ramsey and NOT have all your numbers in front of you!? “I think I owe maybe $25, 000 or maybe it’s $49,000! What? How do you not k ow what you make!?
whether you are married or not is irrelevant. Having gone through a divorce 4 years ago, I dont see how her situation is any different than mine was. You still have to divide crap up, argue over who is going to pay what, whether its divorce or not. I still had to file bankruptcy to get out from under the house I let her have and get rid of the CC she ran up behind my back. 4 years later im completely recovered from chapter 7 and own my own home.
She needs to get a heads up on what her name is on!!! Make a list!!!
I second his suggestion!!! Been there do that! Cost me thousands of dollars!!!
Bottom line is don’t shack up!
Love watching Dave giving out so many different advice to go about getting out of a life financial situation. So glad I have no debt. No wife. No kids and I plan to stay this way for a while. 😅
Just me sure u only date debt free women.
From experience ...... STAY that way. It makes for a very secure and happy life. Just find a great, like minded thinking woman and enjoy life with you having YOUR money and her having HER money, but also being together with NO document binding you to each other legally. I've been doing it for almost 18 years with her and life is excellent.
@@dyates6380 you mean you found a woman who doesn't want to get married. Most women not waiting even 10 percent of that time to get married. Did you not listen to the video? These ppl have been shaking up. Good luck living 18 years away from a woman you love that's called a breakup or a divorce.
Good for you, dont get married no matter how appealing it might be at the time. Its a contract that is enforced by the government. You can have a long term meaningful relationship with one woman without marriage/entering into a legally binding contract. Good luck.
@@Rashaadthegr8 This circumstance is the result of both of them being immature and stupid. Why are you blaming the girl?
Sitting together and talking about it won’t work. I can guarantee that. One way or another emotions and feelings that they had in the past will pop up, leading to a completely different topic. Have you ever try to reason with your spouse about something small, only to find out 5 minutes later that you guys are arguing about something that happened 3 months ago?
I think the best of course action is to sue the guy (and hoping he’ll do whatever she asks him to do) or just declare bankruptcy and move on with her life. She’s still very young to recover from this mess.
What shocks me and I see it all the time with men and women and that is, people who are excellent at work, make good money but they make the dumbest decisions in their personal life. I mean this girl earns $80 grand, pretty good but her decisions regarding her personal life and these assets and debts are just DUMB!!
Love makes people do dumb things especially when there is sexual intimacy involved. Also, narcissists are very adept at manipulating people they're sleeping with. The conversation usually goes something like this: "You are willing to trust me with your body but not your money? Are you suggesting that your body is worth less than the XXX dollars that you cannot trust me with?"
Income amount has been more or less separated from actual skill, intelligence, and merit for a long time.
Dave tried to hard not to swear and yell at this smart lady!!
"Rachel's an independen-
A. t single mom and if you can't handle my 2 kids and are over 6'' you better WALK!!"
B. ce, Kansas."
Ramsay: "B"
My brain: "Oh thank God."
Yo, creditors. My poor decisions have resulted in a situation that precludes me from paying the debt I promised to pay you. Kick rocks.
Dave touched on it. U dont have to be married to buy things together. u need to see a lawyer and layout the paperwork before hand so everybody knows where the finances stand. Marriage makes it easier legally but it can be done without it. Given most Marriages end because of finances so getting the paperwork laid out before hand only helps.
7:52 “How about selling all 3 of these things?”
Rapid sale to settle debt and rebuild life = cheap price = less equity. Less equity is then divided across 2 households = very low equity each, means they can't afford to buy anything new. That's also why when people get divorced they usually don't force sale of the home so that each can collect equal equity. Usually the house goes to the one who keeps the kids, and in this situation that's the man.
Whether they live together or are married it can get messy when people split.
My wife was adamant about getting married first before moving in together. For most couples, I think this is probably the better way to go. Make a commitment first, then start to combine stuff. I have women colleagues who live with their boyfriends who have waited years to get proposed to. The women letting them has basically said to their man I am okay living with you without a commitment. What it does to the woman is delays their chance to have kids, holds both of them back to buying a better house together. Too many people out there don’t communicate this with their partner and waste too much time waiting. If you want marriage, tell your partner what you want. If they want it, get out of it and move on.
I agreed. I learned that the hard way he suggested I move in with him to save money so I could go to graduate school. I wound up working two jobs and going to school because I had to support us both! Never again! You want me to pay the bills and maintain a home, you put a ring on me!
@@littlesongbird1 ... and that ring would have prevented you from wounding up supporting the two of you? I mean ... lots of women (and men) are out there working their butts of, while the other one is contributing zero to the household. A ring ain´t gonna change that, so I fail to see the point made?
There are less than 2% of men I imagine who would be willing to Marry a woman before seeing if he can tolerate living with her first.
You don’t know a person until you’ve lived with them for a year.
There is no perfect recipe. I lived with my ex and it saved me from a marriage that eventually would have led to a divorce. (We did get engaged while living together - the ring means nothing!).
@mrjack8849 Yes and no. There are loads of couples around that split up just after a year, two, three after they get married simply because they suddenly realize that dating a couple of times a week and maybe staying over for the weekend is not the same as living together. Suddenly they realize not everything is so rosy after all. Nothing wrong with renting together or living in a property owned by one of the parties as long as the moving in person is not expected to pay mortgage, invest in repairs etc.
@littlesongbird1 Well, the problem in your case sadly isn't about a dating couple vs a married couple rather than one party using the other which does happen in marriages as well.
The advice at the end is the besr : sell everything co-owned, cars, house and split the gain/loss.
She is not definitely bankrupt,
she is with a leach ..
This is a thing now. In the past 3 years, I’ve been to 7 weddings: ALL of the couples had already bought and moved into a home together. And gotten puppies. All of them.
8:30 “metaphorically” 😂
I learned this the hard way. I love you. Doesn't mean I own you. We had to file bankruptcy and foreclose on our house, because we were upside-down on our mortgage. After 7 years with zero credit to my name. I'll NEVER EVER go halfies with anyone. My girlfriend of 6 years heard me loud and clear. Your debt is your problem and mine is mine.
Omg, she is so screwed this guy took advantage until he got tired of playing house.
Yep, and she, like so many "modern" women, gave up all the pleasure without demand the commitment. And they wonder why their lives sound like a sad country song.... modern feminism has reached its logical conclusion.
There are laws and procedures for married couples that deal with jointly-owned property when they divorce. When they aren't married, it's a mess like this one. It would be even worse if they had children together.