I think when my friends complain about something, i automatically tell them the solution. Sometimes they dont want a solutions they just want to complain. I honestly dont know how to act when my friends come and cry to me so i just tell them not to do that lol. If they want a solution- i will be here but dont come for me for a feelings consultions. Not like i dont care, I just dont know how to do it, also dont feel comfortable. Sometimes mom call me a "cold-heart bitch" and I agree lol
The best way to interact with someone who is venting in an unhealthy manner is to re-direct their attention to a non confrontational topic. For example. "My fucking boss always leaves without telling anyone and on top of it he doesnt even leave notes on what to do when he leaves and gets angry at us for ""creating a mess"" when he gets back!" You-"Ya know it's just about time for harvest season of people's gardens, how many people do you think because of covid are now reaping the benefits of growing their own food?" In this way you break their train of thought while redirecting their energy to an impersonal problem to solve. After they ask you what you're talking about. You give your own answer to the garden problem. In this way. If they supply their own answer instead of asking what your talking about. The next part is applicable regardless. You start by getting on the whiners side by expressing cognitive empathy or emotional empathy. "I know how you feel" or I can understand where coming from etc. And then ask the question of what he thinks the boss is doing during his spare time and then ask them "well what do you think isnthe right thing to do about it. Then ask why they came to that answer. By this point they will be thinking about how to solve the problem and thus be open to your solution instead of being defensive. Saying you can't deal with their whining means that you can't solve the problem that they are whining about and that they whine to you. If you give an answer that they can understand while they are now in a problem solving mindset instead of an irrationally emotional mindset they will start to interact with you in the future in a problem solving mindset from the beginning. @Linh Nguyen
Your mom calls you "cold-heart bitch" Ahahaa. Damn! No offence to your mom but she seems more cold hearted towards you. Same thing happens with me, when people come up to me with their bitch and complaining, I do not give them no solution. I have tried it countless times, people do not want the solutions. They just want to be stuck and make their own decisions and do their own thing but just only need some emotional support where you agreeing "Yea, things happen and you'll be ok" and you'll handle the situation. It works for me.
Same man, I have a friend who often whines to me about stuff and I always try to give him a solution but since we are friends we know that If he whines I will give him a solution which he doesn't want and will not use and I know it doesn't matter as long as I let him complain sooo... I suppose any response is fine as long as you have good intentions and if someone whines just do your thing if they don't want the solution they won't use it and if they do it might just be helpful
Ask if they need a listening ear. That goes a long way. Generally, when people want advice, they'll ask for it. In addition, venting and complaining are not synonymous. Please understand this.🙂
My ex-husband was an intj....his solution orientation made me feel broken lol I learned to not offer solutions to others because of this. I listen to people a few times then don't give them the accessibility to me if they start feeling draining. Signing off, Infj
Them: I've never seen you get emotional, you must be insensitive. Me: I have never met an astronaut, nuclear physicist, or marine biologist...... therefore they don't exist.
INTJ here. Oftentimes when I am communicating with people, I don’t want to trigger anybody so I calmly and rationally explain myself as a way to be more thoughtful of others around me.
As an INTJ myself, I think being emotionally sensitive is overrated. Sometimes it can get in the way of helping or getting help from other people. In the office, I find those “tech leads” to be super helpful and even though the conversation is always about work. It’s easy move the ball forward with them.
I know this is an old comment, but I just had to respond. As an INFJ, I can confirm that being emotionally sensitive sucks ash and is a hindrance in almost all situations.
I tend to take the emotions of others into consideration, albeit sometimes for a somewhat cold purpose. Just like how people tend to be predictably unpredictable, it is also impossible to predict with 100% certainty that emotions will not play a role in anything. So when I formulate plans, I tend to add things that benefit or pacify others and also avoid things that have a direct negative impact on other individuals because then I can’t guarantee that they won’t get in my way later
@@meagiesmuse2334 hmm it's possible they felt a little stifled in the relationship or had a past bad experience. You also need to give them space and not push them.
You just solved the mystery of why my family says I have no feelings; thus, I must be mentally ill. They just need an emotional response from me, so they can see me as normal. Too bad they won't get it; quantum physics sounds easier than doing that. Apparently, responding emotionally is my last resort; I hadn't noticed, but it's true. I knew I was good at reading the emotions and needs of other people; but if they need something, they should ask for it. We perceive the outer world inwardly; I love that. I do take all the information in before I give an opinion, make a decision, etc. Yes, I'm a zen type too; and I love it.
if they're acting insensitive most likely it is deliberate. 1- they think you deserve it. 2- they think you need it to face it and fix it. 3- they're cutting you off, so there is no need to be politically correct.
I wouldn't agree more. I have friend who is INTJ and I know that she has feelings;very deep feelings just that they are very guarded and it takes the right kind of setting and person for them to let their guard down for a bit and I think she is beautiful.(I am INFP)
I'm glad you talked about this. As someone who got is an INTJ I've always found most of the online INTJs in the MBTI community unrelatable, exactly because online they seem to be cold rational type, that doesn't care about anything or anyone. And for me it's exactly how you described it, I can sense the emotional level in the room, of course even if emotions aren't out on the display, I would simply sense it through behavioral patterns, but it's really hard and uncomfortable for me to respond to this, and usually my course of action would be just to avoid the situation and not respond at all. The worst thing about this is, for one, people will never understand the amount of discomfort this is for me, and it doesn't matter how much I try to explain this to them (Note that I'm not using MBTI as a defense mechanism for being a d*ck), and secondly as someone who actually tried to work on this in 100% of the cases I've sensed that it all came out as if I'm faking it, not to mention that for me it felt like someone was pulling the words out of my mouth with a pair of pliers. Also, I can definitely attest to the someone standing inbetween me and my vision or trying to meddle with my plan in achieving that vision is going to get, most of the time, an irritated response. And that, if it comes down to solving a problem or someone looking for advice I would usually approach the matter rationally, and most of the time planing out their future for them, which they, 99% of the time, ignore :P
You're true. I think only mature INTJ will agree and not denial about their own emotions, unlike NTPs in general that still claim to be robotic and degrade anyone. As a Ni dom I can relate very well, how I give someone an advice and what they "caught" from the conversation is only the comforting part, which is just me saying bullsht to comfort them sometimes. The actual, rational, advice? Fcking not.
@@astavas8341 this happened to me a few minutes ago. I gave someone an ultimate elaborate action plan to get out of a rut they were in and they only got the little motivating bit from a fresh perspective I provided.
I think it's most helpful to try to solve problems. That is what we all were taught in elementary school, usually with math. Just lending "emotional support" is only a temporary stopgap measure (in my INTJ opinion, haha!). The big exception, especially in my social circle/age group is when someone passes away. I always have a strong urge to give their family/friends a hug (even if I don't like the person) and I feel no discomfort with this. So I guess I have a "human half" after all! :)
I ended up crying or tearing up whenever i am unable express those strong emotions or feelings. In some cases i stayed calm and rational. Some cases, ppl think or feel that i am defeated bec i didnt responded to them the way they do like in arguments, debates or heated conversations. It's not the case tho, if only they can see how my insides are churning & burning, attempting to lash out or explode. Yeah, more often than naught, i really dunno how to comfort or console ppl. It's awkward. Either i am jz there staring, standing still or looking away or down. But i learned from experience that, even without saying anything but by giving person a hug, a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, a tissue box, a pat, is already a way to comfort them emotionally. Then when they ask what to do, why, how did it end up like that, then that's where my NT starts to roll.. hahah
Super cool response. People feel reassured when an "insensitive", cool, calm type, who seemingly has it all under control (emphasis on seemingly) can be "there" for them, no matter how quietly. Really, that's all that is required. Just make sure to stay o top of your own emotions, when you have the privacy to do so.
You describe this so perfectly. It's not that we are blind to other's emotions. We know how you feel. It's just that we'd rather not react to it emotionally most of the time.
In the sense that we don't usually engage in convoluted speech intended to soothe someone emotionally we might be called insensitive, but we still feel the same way as anyone else, we still understand that someone is upset and want them to feel better. We just approach the problem from a logical perspective looking for a solution rather than indulging someone's sorrow which doesn't fix anything. This is something which is taught in dog training. You aren't supposed to coddle a scared dog. As the alpha figure you're supposed to act confident and calm to send a signal to the dog that things are fine and there is nothing to worry about. People can probably be trained in the same way because I see other cultures such as Eastern Europeans who aren't very emotional and just get on with life.
I’m the same way I used to be called insensitive but I’m far from it I just don’t know how to be all feely lol I feel like a robot at work when I have to validate someone’s emotional response
In 16personalities, when you check weaknesses for each T type, you find insensitive in each one except INTJ. Being INTJ myself, I confirm that it is not an insensitive type (it can be sometimes not in purpose)
I have pretty much no temper at all... Except when watching sports. Idk what it is about them but when I'm watching sports I get so emotional. Jumping, screaming and the like. But any other time, I'm calm as still water
as a fellow intj, i'm responding to your comment "we have almost no temper." the absolute surest way to send me into a rage is to injure someone who cannot defend themselves, like children and old people. i absolutely WILL intervene, not say a word to anyone, and it will be effective. i put on my driver hat and start up the karma bus to give someone like that the ride of their life. i've done it 3 times now, and i'm 58. none of them ever knew where it even came from. to be clear: i never did anything illegal, but all the victims got plenty of room to heal, and i made as much right for them as possible.
I often tell people I know, if you don't want to know my opinion-my honest opinion, don't ask. I will keep it to myself unless you do and then I will be completely honest. Sorry if that hurts your feelings but you asked for it.
Recently I've been thinking a lot about the 'low energy' of the INTJ at least mine anyway dunno if it is the same with all INTJs but just like you've said I often struggle to respond in any emotional way such as either anger or happiness and have been criticized because of that because 'I don't care' and 'Can't be happy because of something someone did for me' and while that can be true most of the times even if I am happy I don't really know how to express my emotions ... Any thoughts?
Its difficult. I find that those expressive moments are few and far between emotionally, but, I can be very expressive and open about topics I enjoy. When I hang out with my close ENFP I can nearly act like your average extrovert when the ideas start racing. We can laugh and have a good time and be quite expressive, its just not in an emotional way. The trick is finding people who you can mesh with naturally in terms of communication. Thanks for watching!
Well stated. I do wonder if the 'insensitive' moniker also comes from young/immature ENTJ and INTP mistyping as INTJ in addition to all the points you made in this video. Definitely relate to becoming irritated when others get in the way of my goals, although rarely does that make me deliberately rude. Tact is important, because otherwise you invite more obstruction, lol.
Exactly right, as "strategists", INTJs recognize the importance of tact and respect most of the time. Being a decent person can get you very far in life, something some people struggle to understand haha.
INTJs got Ni-Fi as their dominant stack, so the feeling function is not that much of non-existent either. Just that they do not prefer to make prior decision with that function. There are also some benefits to work with IxTJs especially during teamworking at class or working at the workplace together. Because they are just work focused and very decent rather than faul talking which I always want in a workplace because when people are work focused, that's the situation when everything is kept at peace. And INTJs are also flexible beings, you can say anything and they'd always give you a simplest solution for that with fewest words. I just like those efficiency. There are many things to learn from them too. ~ ENFP
II have been called insensitive. My ex-GF would often start complaining and I would be trying to figure out what was causing her trouble and offer to fix it. She didn't take that well. She openly told me she didn't need me fixing anything, she wanted my validation! Excuse me? How much validation? Oh... 24/7? Really? Yes, she was the most insecure person I ever met and needed validation for everything. She just couldn't imagine other people might have a different approach. You can predict that it ended really fast and it wasn't pretty.
I had a situation a few days ago that really represents that. I work with customer service,and I solved the specific problem of that person. However,she got upset,because I did not express any type of condolence for the situation.
WOW so on point 😏 it’s really annoying when people try to stand in my way when trying to accomplish my goals. I’m still going to do it anyways. Sounds like the annoying teacher I have 🙄
Would you please do ESFP vs ENTJ vs INTJ vs ISFP video, these types often mistype with each other. I hope you consider this for a future upload! Great video as always!
I'm not saying you're wrong, but how does one confuse an ENTJ with an INTJ? E/I is the easiest one to get right while knowing very little about a person.
@@SlimThrull ENTJ can appear very introverted, they're not very friendly like an enfj or a esfj. They talk only when needed and only when it has something to do with their visions/businesses/goals/jobs. They're not wordy people. They give answer exactly as they're asked. This makes them appear INTJish and likewise. Problem is, they can appear very sensorish as well. Worse, all 4 types share same cognitive functions
80 yo intj female. As a child and teenager I was called insensitive. In my twenties I was called aloof. In my thirties I had two babies and learned all kinds of new and useful interaction skills LOL. Now that I'm an old lady I'm considered a very good listener and someone that people can talk to about just about anything. It's a great journey. I love being an intj. And I think female intjs may have an advantage in terms of perhaps being more in touch with our feeling side.
INTJ here. Yes I and my INFP friend were close friends until she was angry that I couldn't meet her standard of "sensitive" to listen to her problem without offering advice and analyze.
My INTJ friend in our youth was the only one who understood the political hierarchy of our friends accurately and he always knew what others were feeling, he just didn’t always care, or feel the need to engage. That was not being insensitive he just was not a doormat, nor was he the one to take time to sit and emote with others, but he was not unaware, nor evil just was self contained which I think can be intimidating since people in general are more uncontrolled and less aware of the whole picture.
I'm not insensitive, I'm just good at handling my senses. And when I can't handle my senses, I make bad decisions. So I try to manage them, and if I know something isn't right, and acting on it would hurt your feelings, it's not that I don't care about your feelings, it's that I know it will be better if I do something that upsets you a little bit.
As an INTJ I find empathizing with others to be simultaneously easy and difficult. I have a strong set of morals and principles that I live by and will not break, so I often find it very easy to empathize with those going through similar hardships to my own, additionally I can’t bring myself to put others through these hardships, even if it’s for my own personal benefit. When I have to empathize with situations foreign to me, though… that’s a completely different story.
“It is the accumulated experiences of organic life in general, a million times repeated, and condensed into types. In these archetypes, therefore, all experience are represented which have happened on this planet since primeval times. The more frequent and the more intense they were, the more clearly focused they become in the archetype. The archetype would thus be, to borrow from Kant, the noumenon of the image which intuition perceives and, in perceiving, creates.”[48] Jung Ni taps into archetypes and it is here where I get 'awkward'. I often would assume I knew someone and their interests based on the archetype I was introduced to. Once at a cocktail party, I met a respected artist. I immediately began asking her questions as if I already knew her because I knew her archetype. She was insulted and offended that I would assume so much and within 30 minutes of conversation, she was exactly what I assumed and we had a good laugh and began takingYoga classes together. Don't take Yoga with another introvert, we both have too many excuses to not go outside to play. Te-rrific content, Chris, and its nice to see you again after your hiatus. I hope your new setup is working well for you. (you did mention taking a break to regroup equipment ?).
Great points here, the recognition and assumption of archetypal perceptions can certainly come off as jarring to others. Yeah, I took one week off but I uploaded last week too. Sadly TH-cam doesn't seem to be too fond of sharing my videos these days, not sure why. Thanks for watching!
I can respond emotionally around my family bc I'm more comfortable with them. I suck at consoling friends when they're trying to vent. I always find at least 3 solutions so they could stop complaining and make things happen. They get annoyed by that but I can't help it. Now, I don't respond and just listen bc I know I'll trigger them with my advice... "since they never asked for it" I used to be called Heartless all throughout highschool.
as an INTJ, I can say that we are not that insensitive, we just don't show our emotions when we feel something and others may come to the conclusion that we are insensitive. We also can feel, like other types do, but what drives us is not emotions, so that our actions may seem as if we don't feel anything.
Thank you for giving that piece of information that INTJs can actually read the emotion of the situation because I am very good at assessing the emotional status of a situation but not so much at reacting to it correctly since I have to analyse it before responding. Everyone keeps telling that INTJs cannot play the social game and I began to see that it wasn't the case with me and just because of that single trait thought that I could be an INTP. This confirmed to me that I'm an INTJ.
It might seem like we are insensitive. But it is through much thought that we draw conclusions based on the precious resource of time. Some things you may think are outrageous that an INTJ will think, but we value time more than any type.
This is a great video. I'm keenly aware of how people present themselves in terms of body language, tone of voice, etc. but I get so focused on trying to fix the problem that I find it difficult to comfort other people. If someone is upset because something isn't working right, or because they can't figure out how to do something, I really want to help them (partly so they will stop complaining about the problem) but also because I find solving problems to be one of the few things I am good at that other people seem to find worthwhile. I also feel comfortable with showing others that I care about them, or that they are important to me through doing things for them. That is easier for me than telling them.
I always believed the insensitive and actually cruel and heartless ones are those who say I'm being insensitive. (I'm an INTJ) To make it worse, they don't even seem to be aware of it. If told, they would deny it, lash out, then make you feel bad in another way again. The worst part? These are told by people you love and look out for the most.
I'm "that person" who asks questions to learn more about the situation or offers a solution to the problem when everyone else is all "thoughts and prayers," which I find to be not only boring, but useless. I figure most people are going to respond empathically, so I'll do what I do best -- respond intellectually. Although it SHOULD be, it's not usually appreciated. :(
Same thing here. I'm more of how did this happen than I'm sad that this happen I may feel distraught initially but my mind kicks into overdrive immediately
@@healthycyclist898, I can't honestly say I'm "sad," if I didn't even know the person; I mean...death is a fact of life. Morbidly curious about how it happened, though? ALWAYS.
Intjs are great as helpers and great mentors too through their logical lense this is always overlooked by the stereotype that they are arrogant, they sure can be blunt sometimes but not always when you are in trouble an intj will definitely try to find a solution to your problems in their own way , well this is what my experience with intj says , not to forget they can have great intellectual and deep conversation its fascinating
I don't have a temper at all, I very rarely show strong emotional responses, but I have something I like to call cold fury. I'm the kind of person who explains to people in a calm, thought-out, if often a bit long-winded manner why what they did really sucked, and what consequences I will draw if they do it again.
Lmaoooo. I described myself 100% like this long ago as well. Though I described it as an ocean wave. Very calm and cool but yet powerful. Though you seem more ennea 1w9. Whereas I'm 9w8 fix. (9 accounts for the calmness). the w8 in me accounts for me tending to use words that would be described or come off as having a strong emotional response yet no emotions are actually invoked. looks even more so emotional through a computer screen and people initially imitate and project how they perceive I am feeling.
Thank you AsuraPsych for putting a light on how INTJ actually perceives and collects a lot of information in the feeling situation. In a lot of situations though I understand what's happening I never express it because it's so deeply personal. I fear I am giving away too much information about the situation.
For certain reasons I spent a lot of my life not really having a goal (or most accurately completely repressing any goals I did have because they were religiously unacceptable), this was accompanied by a lot of depression and distress. (Feeling like I had seen the only possible future and it sucked) And I very easily got frustrated in this phase too, although *usually* that would be with things, not people. But once I moved on from that phase of my life, and actually set myself a real goal to accomplish (selling a house and moving cross country)... Yeah, even the friends who teased me about it were met with a wall! Normally I tease back and forth just fine, this was an exception XD
Apparently due to the Ni, we can be very sensitive. I have always been perceived as calm, wise, don’t talk, and... never smiled. My father was ISTJ and his emotions came faster. Surely Ni play a major role in this process of emotions. I am very good to read the energy/emotions of a room. It annoy me when people around are upset or cry, and no one do something to resolve this, or people says : no no we don’t argue, whereas they do. Or when mothers let their children cry during 1h by doing nothing or yell at them for no available reason. Sort of like a noise disturbance Se which refrain Ni to function correctly, unable to be concentrate.
INTP here with an INTJ cousin. She's much more "emotional" than I will ever be. We're both high on the neurotic levels but it seems like she takes feelings more into account than I do (inf. Fe)- I'm the one who has the most regrets when it comes to making others feel bad because of how emotionally redressed I am by default and because she's more tactful with interactions. What you said about us T-doms hold a lot of weight because I observed this consistency with my ENTJ father as well.
Read somewhere that the Star Trek character “Mr. Spock” is an INTJ. I agree. Certainly not a stereotype of the INTJ, but maybe a templet to help someone identify the type.
@Jeff_INFJ - This is SO true! I am an INFJ who loved an INTJ for 12 years, until I finally gave up on him ever relating to me emotionally. His friends all called him "Mr Spock" behind his back!
I wish people could stop being so shallow! Of course we can be very sympathetic! We have Fi child! We are innocent about how we feel about ourselves! Just because we act cold on the exterior doesn't mean we are internally. I went through a rough childhood being different so it's hard for people to upset me because most of the time I don't really care what people think about me because I don't like them. describe
I have really close friend who is obviously Fe-Ti type (not sure about her type, but most likely ISFJ). Before I learned about MBTI she often was sad that I offer her solutions instead of support she needed. Thanks to MBTI I discovered how my Fi can be useful for her since we Fi users don't question our emotions (observe and analyze, yes, but we don't need validation). That's enough to say to Fe users: "your feelings are valid and understandable in this situation" - it's something we believe ourselves just don't really say often out loud 😁 Needless to say she is very happy I make this effort to support her the way she needs 🙂 so just a little advice if anybody here wants to seem more warm and human (btw. her Ti is very nice support if my Te hesitates as well)
at 4:53, I was smiling and nodding my head because it happened to me just recently. Some colleague of mine cried her heart out right in front of me and made me feel very uncomfortable, so I offered some solutions to her on how she could best confront her problems. I didn't know how she took it though cause I wasn't looking. T'was very uncomfortable. You talk really fast, but I know I can keep up haha
I am a very considerate person because I want to be treated that way. I am very cold and dismissive towards that kind of person Come to think of it, I give the exact same response to my counterparts just like a mirror, a reflection of themselves. Maybe it is a value/feeling that I based on my thinking? :D And, yes! I can sense what people want from a conversation but mostly I choose not to react to that. People may take me as a very cold-hearted person when actually I know the consequence of giving support to others. Not every person needs a solution. Most of the time, they only need validation or approval of their own feeling or judgment. It is a waste of time and creativity to solve this kind of problem, so I'll save my energy only to selective certain people that matters.
I think that responding with anger at times, or hurting other people's feelings just for the sake of it, has not necessarily much to do with mbti, but rather mental disorders (narcissism, borderline, sadistic urges, etc)
Actually, that stereotype of "does not care about how people feel and will bluntly tell someone off" is more of ENTJ for me. As for my case, I actually assess whether or not people will be adequately apt to receive the feedback. If I think this will bring me more time and effort to explain or understand, I won't do it. However, I won't hesitate shutting people down or off when someone's being unreasonable.
Speaking as a young and growing INTJ, I can say that I would describe myself and other INTJs as ‘blunt’. We say our thoughts out loud without changing them much. But we’re not stupid we know that some people don’t care about what we say or want or think so we can still understand when to talk and when to stay silent. My situation specifically is harsher because I am in a great many minority groups. So I can’t really talk a lot about myself or my thoughts in fear that the person I’m speaking to is a bigot. Also, that thing you said about goals? Yeah, in my experience I have a very single-mindedness on my life, my needs and wants. But yeah, I’m a very private person regarding my emotional life and outside of say 2 or 3 people I have very few people I care for enough to talk to them about my emotions. It’s even enough where for those few people I would give up my own life. I...I have several issues about self worth and because of that to me these special people are my reason for living. The easiest way I can think to sum it up is that I don’t live for myself I live for my goals and for my chosen family. ... Meh, I’m just very self focused. I care too much for the the few I care about. Thank you for helping to clear up this stereotype about us.
I'm an INTJ who has been enduring a lot of pain and it's been causing me to have a shortened fuse and has caused me to start blowing up at little things. Is this a normal thing?
Idk if people view me as insensitive but my sisters do describe me as selfish. I dont think selfish is the right word cause I am pretty helpful, but ever since I can remember, I dont care about others on certain matters - probably my own percieved goals. I wish I could send this video to my sisters and tell them I am not selfish, I just have my priorities right lol..But Ik this video is not their cup of tea, lmao
If you have trouble with giving unwanted advice to people (no matter how good the advice actually is) I think it's useful to remember that most people just want to be heard, and the best thing you can actually do is give them time, space, and your attention. So you can view simply listening as the best solution to the person's issue... At least it works for me in most cases.
Thanks for. Simply put: we cannot Fe. Correct? I realize MBTI doesn't account for Fe trickster (yet) but I think it explains a lot of the issues we, as INTJs, have. I reason that the two functions we most take for granted are our dominant function and our trickster function. Just seems to make sense. Another thing: one of my theories about how otherpeople perceive INTJs is I feel like I am constantly misunderstood and people think that I am a, e.g., mean jerk.
I think, you being an INTJ, you talking about the pressure points of the INTJ is just unsettling for you. INTJ’s hate to be vulnerable, especially emotionally. It can be used against you. I think that’s why you spoke so fast.
Okay honestly im kinda convinced mbti is a pseudo science cause most people just use it as their own interpretation and almost nobody has the same the theories. Between sara mbti, csj, eric and the guy with skitts all the similarities are very shallow and im just too confused to reâlly pick a way to think.
I want to say that at the most time intj is insensitive. But later when the time has passed. Intj become suddenly sensitive and remind the past when he was engaged with someone emotionally. I don't know why though.
IJs are calm particularly INTJs? Yes and no. I think they probably dont show their emotions to just about anybody but there are INTJs who are turbulent I think, in their heads, that is. And may snap once or twice but will look like they have no emotions for the most part to outsiders.
Immature INTJs can definitely be insentive, but as we mature we learn to moderate our desire to tell people exactly what we think simply to be able to walk among "Normal" society. Mind you as we become older, wiser and independent and care less about what society thinks the cuffs tend to come off again. Being an "older" INTJ has it's benefits.
@0:23 It isn't. It does, however, explain something to most people in a way that aligns with what they have witnessed. Generally speaking, most people will agree with something if presented in a way that "makes sense" even if it isn't entirely correct. And, let's be honest, us INTJs are simply not well understood. Oh, It's also very meme worthy.
![ปฏิเสธไม่ไหว (Crush on you) - LIPTA feat. No One Else [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NBw1jF342vw/mqdefault.jpg)
thought i was playing at 1.5x speed but you just talk fast.. niceee i like that
INTJ talent
+1
Its not good for me since im not native speaker
I just watched it at 1.5x speed, ha, ha
I had to speed it up lol
I think when my friends complain about something, i automatically tell them the solution. Sometimes they dont want a solutions they just want to complain. I honestly dont know how to act when my friends come and cry to me so i just tell them not to do that lol. If they want a solution- i will be here but dont come for me for a feelings consultions. Not like i dont care, I just dont know how to do it, also dont feel comfortable. Sometimes mom call me a "cold-heart bitch" and I agree lol
The best way to interact with someone who is venting in an unhealthy manner is to re-direct their attention to a non confrontational topic. For example. "My fucking boss always leaves without telling anyone and on top of it he doesnt even leave notes on what to do when he leaves and gets angry at us for ""creating a mess"" when he gets back!"
You-"Ya know it's just about time for harvest season of people's gardens, how many people do you think because of covid are now reaping the benefits of growing their own food?"
In this way you break their train of thought while redirecting their energy to an impersonal problem to solve. After they ask you what you're talking about. You give your own answer to the garden problem. In this way. If they supply their own answer instead of asking what your talking about. The next part is applicable regardless. You start by getting on the whiners side by expressing cognitive empathy or emotional empathy. "I know how you feel" or I can understand where coming from etc. And then ask the question of what he thinks the boss is doing during his spare time and then ask them "well what do you think isnthe right thing to do about it. Then ask why they came to that answer. By this point they will be thinking about how to solve the problem and thus be open to your solution instead of being defensive. Saying you can't deal with their whining means that you can't solve the problem that they are whining about and that they whine to you. If you give an answer that they can understand while they are now in a problem solving mindset instead of an irrationally emotional mindset they will start to interact with you in the future in a problem solving mindset from the beginning. @Linh Nguyen
Your mom calls you "cold-heart bitch" Ahahaa. Damn! No offence to your mom but she seems more cold hearted towards you. Same thing happens with me, when people come up to me with their bitch and complaining, I do not give them no solution. I have tried it countless times, people do not want the solutions. They just want to be stuck and make their own decisions and do their own thing but just only need some emotional support where you agreeing "Yea, things happen and you'll be ok" and you'll handle the situation. It works for me.
Same man, I have a friend who often whines to me about stuff and I always try to give him a solution but since we are friends we know that If he whines I will give him a solution which he doesn't want and will not use and I know it doesn't matter as long as I let him complain sooo... I suppose any response is fine as long as you have good intentions and if someone whines just do your thing if they don't want the solution they won't use it and if they do it might just be helpful
Ask if they need a listening ear. That goes a long way. Generally, when people want advice, they'll ask for it. In addition, venting and complaining are not synonymous. Please understand this.🙂
My ex-husband was an intj....his solution orientation made me feel broken lol I learned to not offer solutions to others because of this. I listen to people a few times then don't give them the accessibility to me if they start feeling draining. Signing off, Infj
Them: I've never seen you get emotional, you must be insensitive.
Me: I have never met an astronaut, nuclear physicist, or marine biologist...... therefore they don't exist.
I'm an INTJ but when I am dealing with my family I can get a bit emotional.
Me too!
perhaps your emotions are passion driven.
Yeah, while dealing with those few ppl we really care about(not always family)
Also: Isn't it insensitive to call an entire personality type insensitive?
(rare type means fewer but still *millions* of diverse people)
Great topic👍
No. It is entirely contingent on if they can substantiate their argument.
Yes, people usually forget we also are human beings!
Yes and no. I think he was generalizing which is okay as we are talking about the ego stack theory rather than an actual person. -INTP
Insensitive doesn't mean untrue. ;)
But in this case it is not entirely true.
There are alot of subcategories but over all no. Facts don't care about your feelings.
INTJ here. Oftentimes when I am communicating with people, I don’t want to trigger anybody so I calmly and rationally explain myself as a way to be more thoughtful of others around me.
As an INTJ myself, I think being emotionally sensitive is overrated. Sometimes it can get in the way of helping or getting help from other people. In the office, I find those “tech leads” to be super helpful and even though the conversation is always about work. It’s easy move the ball forward with them.
Spoken like a true INTJ.
I know this is an old comment, but I just had to respond. As an INFJ, I can confirm that being emotionally sensitive sucks ash and is a hindrance in almost all situations.
I tend to take the emotions of others into consideration, albeit sometimes for a somewhat cold purpose. Just like how people tend to be predictably unpredictable, it is also impossible to predict with 100% certainty that emotions will not play a role in anything. So when I formulate plans, I tend to add things that benefit or pacify others and also avoid things that have a direct negative impact on other individuals because then I can’t guarantee that they won’t get in my way later
This hit. I've often be called calm by others, but I'm extremely sensitive and it's almost as if only I know this...
Diya B - what would someone who cares about you have to do in order for you to feel safe enough to show them that sensitive side?
@@meagiesmuse2334 they have to be consistent over a long period and show honesty and loyalty so I can trust them first
@@diyab1056 - 3 yrs. wasn't long enough in my case. Thank you for the reply.
@@meagiesmuse2334 hmm it's possible they felt a little stifled in the relationship or had a past bad experience. You also need to give them space and not push them.
@@diyab1056 - That sounds more like a Dismissive avoidant attachment disorder than an ordinary INTJ, imo, but thanks for your opinion.
"It takes a lot to get an emotional response from me" yeah unless you're playing apex legends lol
Youuuu. You are right, that game brings out the worst haha
Agreed. If teammates would just do their jobs, we could all reach ascension together.
eyyy intj who plays apex! couldn't agree more hahaha!
You just solved the mystery of why my family says I have no feelings; thus, I must be mentally ill. They just need an emotional response from me, so they can see me as normal. Too bad they won't get it; quantum physics sounds easier than doing that. Apparently, responding emotionally is my last resort; I hadn't noticed, but it's true. I knew I was good at reading the emotions and needs of other people; but if they need something, they should ask for it. We perceive the outer world inwardly; I love that. I do take all the information in before I give an opinion, make a decision, etc. Yes, I'm a zen type too; and I love it.
if they're acting insensitive most likely it is deliberate. 1- they think you deserve it. 2- they think you need it to face it and fix it. 3- they're cutting you off, so there is no need to be politically correct.
I wouldn't agree more.
I have friend who is INTJ and I know that she has feelings;very deep feelings just that they are very guarded and it takes the right kind of setting and person for them to let their guard down for a bit and I think she is beautiful.(I am INFP)
I'm glad you talked about this. As someone who got is an INTJ I've always found most of the online INTJs in the MBTI community unrelatable, exactly because online they seem to be cold rational type, that doesn't care about anything or anyone. And for me it's exactly how you described it, I can sense the emotional level in the room, of course even if emotions aren't out on the display, I would simply sense it through behavioral patterns, but it's really hard and uncomfortable for me to respond to this, and usually my course of action would be just to avoid the situation and not respond at all.
The worst thing about this is, for one, people will never understand the amount of discomfort this is for me, and it doesn't matter how much I try to explain this to them (Note that I'm not using MBTI as a defense mechanism for being a d*ck), and secondly as someone who actually tried to work on this in 100% of the cases I've sensed that it all came out as if I'm faking it, not to mention that for me it felt like someone was pulling the words out of my mouth with a pair of pliers.
Also, I can definitely attest to the someone standing inbetween me and my vision or trying to meddle with my plan in achieving that vision is going to get, most of the time, an irritated response. And that, if it comes down to solving a problem or someone looking for advice I would usually approach the matter rationally, and most of the time planing out their future for them, which they, 99% of the time, ignore :P
You're true. I think only mature INTJ will agree and not denial about their own emotions, unlike NTPs in general that still claim to be robotic and degrade anyone. As a Ni dom I can relate very well, how I give someone an advice and what they "caught" from the conversation is only the comforting part, which is just me saying bullsht to comfort them sometimes. The actual, rational, advice? Fcking not.
@@astavas8341 this happened to me a few minutes ago. I gave someone an ultimate elaborate action plan to get out of a rut they were in and they only got the little motivating bit from a fresh perspective I provided.
I think it's most helpful to try to solve problems. That is what we all were taught in elementary school, usually with math. Just lending "emotional support" is only a temporary stopgap measure (in my INTJ opinion, haha!). The big exception, especially in my social circle/age group is when someone passes away. I always have a strong urge to give their family/friends a hug (even if I don't like the person) and I feel no discomfort with this. So I guess I have a "human half" after all! :)
I ended up crying or tearing up whenever i am unable express those strong emotions or feelings. In some cases i stayed calm and rational. Some cases, ppl think or feel that i am defeated bec i didnt responded to them the way they do like in arguments, debates or heated conversations. It's not the case tho, if only they can see how my insides are churning & burning, attempting to lash out or explode. Yeah, more often than naught, i really dunno how to comfort or console ppl. It's awkward. Either i am jz there staring, standing still or looking away or down. But i learned from experience that, even without saying anything but by giving person a hug, a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, a tissue box, a pat, is already a way to comfort them emotionally. Then when they ask what to do, why, how did it end up like that, then that's where my NT starts to roll.. hahah
Super cool response. People feel reassured when an "insensitive", cool, calm type, who seemingly has it all under control (emphasis on seemingly) can be "there" for them, no matter how quietly. Really, that's all that is required. Just make sure to stay o top of your own emotions, when you have the privacy to do so.
You describe this so perfectly. It's not that we are blind to other's emotions. We know how you feel. It's just that we'd rather not react to it emotionally most of the time.
Except it's not really a choice. We cannot Fe.
@@t5396 it's a choice, though just barely. Meaning I personally can make myself do it if it's someone I really care about and they really need it.
In the sense that we don't usually engage in convoluted speech intended to soothe someone emotionally we might be called insensitive, but we still feel the same way as anyone else, we still understand that someone is upset and want them to feel better. We just approach the problem from a logical perspective looking for a solution rather than indulging someone's sorrow which doesn't fix anything. This is something which is taught in dog training. You aren't supposed to coddle a scared dog. As the alpha figure you're supposed to act confident and calm to send a signal to the dog that things are fine and there is nothing to worry about. People can probably be trained in the same way because I see other cultures such as Eastern Europeans who aren't very emotional and just get on with life.
I’m the same way I used to be called insensitive but I’m far from it I just don’t know how to be all feely lol I feel like a robot at work when I have to validate someone’s emotional response
In 16personalities, when you check weaknesses for each T type, you find insensitive in each one except INTJ.
Being INTJ myself, I confirm that it is not an insensitive type (it can be sometimes not in purpose)
I have pretty much no temper at all... Except when watching sports. Idk what it is about them but when I'm watching sports I get so emotional. Jumping, screaming and the like. But any other time, I'm calm as still water
as a fellow intj, i'm responding to your comment "we have almost no temper." the absolute surest way to send me into a rage is to injure someone who cannot defend themselves, like children and old people.
i absolutely WILL intervene, not say a word to anyone, and it will be effective. i put on my driver hat and start up the karma bus to give someone like that the ride of their life. i've done it 3 times now, and i'm 58. none of them ever knew where it even came from.
to be clear: i never did anything illegal, but all the victims got plenty of room to heal, and i made as much right for them as possible.
I often tell people I know, if you don't want to know my opinion-my honest opinion, don't ask. I will keep it to myself unless you do and then I will be completely honest. Sorry if that hurts your feelings but you asked for it.
Recently I've been thinking a lot about the 'low energy' of the INTJ at least mine anyway dunno if it is the same with all INTJs but just like you've said I often struggle to respond in any emotional way such as either anger or happiness and have been criticized because of that because 'I don't care' and 'Can't be happy because of something someone did for me' and while that can be true most of the times even if I am happy I don't really know how to express my emotions ... Any thoughts?
Its difficult. I find that those expressive moments are few and far between emotionally, but, I can be very expressive and open about topics I enjoy. When I hang out with my close ENFP I can nearly act like your average extrovert when the ideas start racing. We can laugh and have a good time and be quite expressive, its just not in an emotional way. The trick is finding people who you can mesh with naturally in terms of communication. Thanks for watching!
@@AsuraPsych Wow I too have an ENFP friend with whom I am expressive :P Thanks for your advice
Love your videos ^^
@@AsuraPsych I’m an INTJ male and I don’t mesh naturally with ISFP or ESFJ women in terms of communication but FUCK do they turn me on!
Well stated. I do wonder if the 'insensitive' moniker also comes from young/immature ENTJ and INTP mistyping as INTJ in addition to all the points you made in this video. Definitely relate to becoming irritated when others get in the way of my goals, although rarely does that make me deliberately rude. Tact is important, because otherwise you invite more obstruction, lol.
Exactly right, as "strategists", INTJs recognize the importance of tact and respect most of the time. Being a decent person can get you very far in life, something some people struggle to understand haha.
INTJs got Ni-Fi as their dominant stack, so the feeling function is not that much of non-existent either. Just that they do not prefer to make prior decision with that function.
There are also some benefits to work with IxTJs especially during teamworking at class or working at the workplace together. Because they are just work focused and very decent rather than faul talking which I always want in a workplace because when people are work focused, that's the situation when everything is kept at peace. And INTJs are also flexible beings, you can say anything and they'd always give you a simplest solution for that with fewest words. I just like those efficiency. There are many things to learn from them too.
~ ENFP
II have been called insensitive. My ex-GF would often start complaining and I would be trying to figure out what was causing her trouble and offer to fix it. She didn't take that well. She openly told me she didn't need me fixing anything, she wanted my validation! Excuse me? How much validation? Oh... 24/7? Really?
Yes, she was the most insecure person I ever met and needed validation for everything. She just couldn't imagine other people might have a different approach.
You can predict that it ended really fast and it wasn't pretty.
I had a situation a few days ago that really represents that. I work with customer service,and I solved the specific problem of that person. However,she got upset,because I did not express any type of condolence for the situation.
That's dumb🤣
WOW so on point 😏 it’s really annoying when people try to stand in my way when trying to accomplish my goals. I’m still going to do it anyways. Sounds like the annoying teacher I have 🙄
I've personally experienced the intj and istj lash out 🤓 so they cared enough to lash out. I'm accepting it.
Would you please do ESFP vs ENTJ vs INTJ vs ISFP video, these types often mistype with each other. I hope you consider this for a future upload! Great video as always!
I'm not saying you're wrong, but how does one confuse an ENTJ with an INTJ? E/I is the easiest one to get right while knowing very little about a person.
@@SlimThrull ENTJ can appear very introverted, they're not very friendly like an enfj or a esfj. They talk only when needed and only when it has something to do with their visions/businesses/goals/jobs. They're not wordy people. They give answer exactly as they're asked. This makes them appear INTJish and likewise.
Problem is, they can appear very sensorish as well. Worse, all 4 types share same cognitive functions
80 yo intj female.
As a child and teenager I was called insensitive.
In my twenties I was called aloof.
In my thirties I had two babies and learned all kinds of new and useful interaction skills LOL.
Now that I'm an old lady I'm considered a very good listener and someone that people can talk to about just about anything.
It's a great journey. I love being an intj. And I think female intjs may have an advantage in terms of perhaps being more in touch with our feeling side.
INTJ here. Yes I and my INFP friend were close friends until she was angry that I couldn't meet her standard of "sensitive" to listen to her problem without offering advice and analyze.
My INTJ friend in our youth was the only one who understood the political hierarchy of our friends accurately and he always knew what others were feeling, he just didn’t always care, or feel the need to engage. That was not being insensitive he just was not a doormat, nor was he the one to take time to sit and emote with others, but he was not unaware, nor evil just was self contained which I think can be intimidating since people in general are more uncontrolled and less aware of the whole picture.
I'm not insensitive, I'm just good at handling my senses. And when I can't handle my senses, I make bad decisions. So I try to manage them, and if I know something isn't right, and acting on it would hurt your feelings, it's not that I don't care about your feelings, it's that I know it will be better if I do something that upsets you a little bit.
So so so accurate . So accurate that i am literally having an adrenaline rush !!! Thanks for this !!😊😊😊😄
i only ever react to something emotionally when it concerns something im super passionate or driven about, otherwise im like a stone ❄
You talk really fast in this video.
I appreciate it. My time is valuable, my thoughts rapid.
As an INTJ I find empathizing with others to be simultaneously easy and difficult. I have a strong set of morals and principles that I live by and will not break, so I often find it very easy to empathize with those going through similar hardships to my own, additionally I can’t bring myself to put others through these hardships, even if it’s for my own personal benefit. When I have to empathize with situations foreign to me, though… that’s a completely different story.
“It is the accumulated experiences of organic life in general, a million times repeated, and condensed into types. In these archetypes, therefore, all experience are represented which have happened on this planet since primeval times.
The more frequent and the more intense they were, the more clearly focused they become in the archetype. The archetype would thus be, to borrow from Kant,
the noumenon of the image which intuition perceives and, in perceiving, creates.”[48] Jung
Ni taps into archetypes and it is here where I get 'awkward'.
I often would assume I knew someone and their interests based on the archetype I was introduced to. Once at a cocktail party, I met a respected artist. I immediately began asking her questions as if I already knew her because I knew her archetype. She was insulted and offended that I would assume so much and within 30 minutes of conversation, she was exactly what I assumed and we had a good laugh and began takingYoga classes together. Don't take Yoga with another introvert, we both have too many excuses to not go outside to play.
Te-rrific content, Chris, and its nice to see you again after your hiatus. I hope your new setup
is working well for you. (you did mention taking a break to regroup equipment ?).
Great points here, the recognition and assumption of archetypal perceptions can certainly come off as jarring to others.
Yeah, I took one week off but I uploaded last week too. Sadly TH-cam doesn't seem to be too fond of sharing my videos these days, not sure why. Thanks for watching!
I can respond emotionally around my family bc I'm more comfortable with them. I suck at consoling friends when they're trying to vent. I always find at least 3 solutions so they could stop complaining and make things happen. They get annoyed by that but I can't help it. Now, I don't respond and just listen bc I know I'll trigger them with my advice... "since they never asked for it"
I used to be called Heartless all throughout highschool.
as an INTJ, I can say that we are not that insensitive, we just don't show our emotions when we feel something and others may come to the conclusion that we are insensitive. We also can feel, like other types do, but what drives us is not emotions, so that our actions may seem as if we don't feel anything.
"They are going to get rid of you Quickly" haan.
Thank you for giving that piece of information that INTJs can actually read the emotion of the situation because I am very good at assessing the emotional status of a situation but not so much at reacting to it correctly since I have to analyse it before responding.
Everyone keeps telling that INTJs cannot play the social game and I began to see that it wasn't the case with me and just because of that single trait thought that I could be an INTP.
This confirmed to me that I'm an INTJ.
Forgot that I sped up vid to 2x speed then was amazed at your talking speed when I pressed play again.
Hurrdeedurrrdurrrr
This is the best explanation I've seen on this topic, very good.
It might seem like we are insensitive. But it is through much thought that we draw conclusions based on the precious resource of time.
Some things you may think are outrageous that an INTJ will think, but we value time more than any type.
This is a great video. I'm keenly aware of how people present themselves in terms of body language, tone of voice, etc. but I get so focused on trying to fix the problem that I find it difficult to comfort other people. If someone is upset because something isn't working right, or because they can't figure out how to do something, I really want to help them (partly so they will stop complaining about the problem) but also because I find solving problems to be one of the few things I am good at that other people seem to find worthwhile. I also feel comfortable with showing others that I care about them, or that they are important to me through doing things for them. That is easier for me than telling them.
I always believed the insensitive and actually cruel and heartless ones are those who say I'm being insensitive. (I'm an INTJ)
To make it worse, they don't even seem to be aware of it. If told, they would deny it, lash out, then make you feel bad in another way again.
The worst part? These are told by people you love and look out for the most.
I'm "that person" who asks questions to learn more about the situation or offers a solution to the problem when everyone else is all "thoughts and prayers," which I find to be not only boring, but useless. I figure most people are going to respond empathically, so I'll do what I do best -- respond intellectually. Although it SHOULD be, it's not usually appreciated. :(
Same thing here. I'm more of how did this happen than I'm sad that this happen I may feel distraught initially but my mind kicks into overdrive immediately
@@healthycyclist898, I can't honestly say I'm "sad," if I didn't even know the person; I mean...death is a fact of life. Morbidly curious about how it happened, though? ALWAYS.
My family calls me "Captain Holt" (from Brooklyn 99) because of my lack of emotional response during most of the time
Intjs are great as helpers and great mentors too through their logical lense this is always overlooked by the stereotype that they are arrogant, they sure can be blunt sometimes but not always when you are in trouble an intj will definitely try to find a solution to your problems in their own way , well this is what my experience with intj says , not to forget they can have great intellectual and deep conversation its fascinating
I don't have a temper at all, I very rarely show strong emotional responses, but I have something I like to call cold fury. I'm the kind of person who explains to people in a calm, thought-out, if often a bit long-winded manner why what they did really sucked, and what consequences I will draw if they do it again.
Lmaoooo. I described myself 100% like this long ago as well. Though I described it as an ocean wave. Very calm and cool but yet powerful.
Though you seem more ennea 1w9. Whereas I'm 9w8 fix. (9 accounts for the calmness). the w8 in me accounts for me tending to use words that would be described or come off as having a strong emotional response yet no emotions are actually invoked. looks even more so emotional through a computer screen and people initially imitate and project how they perceive I am feeling.
@@17x71 I know nothing about enneagram.
@@tarvoc746 you know a little now
Well emotions are produced by thoughts and we can control our thoughts so whenever I'm sad I just stop being sad and that's it
OMG Get out of my head! This is uncanny, so accurate!
Glad to see content like this.
Appreciate that, thanks for watching!
Thank you AsuraPsych for putting a light on how INTJ actually perceives and collects a lot of information in the feeling situation. In a lot of situations though I understand what's happening I never express it because it's so deeply personal. I fear I am giving away too much information about the situation.
For certain reasons I spent a lot of my life not really having a goal (or most accurately completely repressing any goals I did have because they were religiously unacceptable), this was accompanied by a lot of depression and distress. (Feeling like I had seen the only possible future and it sucked) And I very easily got frustrated in this phase too, although *usually* that would be with things, not people.
But once I moved on from that phase of my life, and actually set myself a real goal to accomplish (selling a house and moving cross country)... Yeah, even the friends who teased me about it were met with a wall! Normally I tease back and forth just fine, this was an exception XD
Apparently due to the Ni, we can be very sensitive.
I have always been perceived as calm, wise, don’t talk, and... never smiled.
My father was ISTJ and his emotions came faster.
Surely Ni play a major role in this process of emotions.
I am very good to read the energy/emotions of a room. It annoy me when people around are upset or cry, and no one do something to resolve this, or people says : no no we don’t argue, whereas they do. Or when mothers let their children cry during 1h by doing nothing or yell at them for no available reason.
Sort of like a noise disturbance Se which refrain Ni to function correctly, unable to be concentrate.
INTP here with an INTJ cousin. She's much more "emotional" than I will ever be. We're both high on the neurotic levels but it seems like she takes feelings more into account than I do (inf. Fe)- I'm the one who has the most regrets when it comes to making others feel bad because of how emotionally redressed I am by default and because she's more tactful with interactions. What you said about us T-doms hold a lot of weight because I observed this consistency with my ENTJ father as well.
Read somewhere that the Star Trek character “Mr. Spock” is an INTJ. I agree. Certainly not a stereotype of the INTJ, but maybe a templet to help someone identify the type.
@Jeff_INFJ - This is SO true! I am an INFJ who loved an INTJ for 12 years, until I finally gave up on him ever relating to me emotionally. His friends all called him "Mr Spock" behind his back!
I wish people could stop being so shallow!
Of course we can be very sympathetic! We have Fi child!
We are innocent about how we feel about ourselves!
Just because we act cold on the exterior doesn't mean we are internally.
I went through a rough childhood being different so it's hard for people to upset me because most of the time I don't really care what people think about me because I don't like them.
describe
I have really close friend who is obviously Fe-Ti type (not sure about her type, but most likely ISFJ). Before I learned about MBTI she often was sad that I offer her solutions instead of support she needed. Thanks to MBTI I discovered how my Fi can be useful for her since we Fi users don't question our emotions (observe and analyze, yes, but we don't need validation). That's enough to say to Fe users: "your feelings are valid and understandable in this situation" - it's something we believe ourselves just don't really say often out loud 😁 Needless to say she is very happy I make this effort to support her the way she needs 🙂 so just a little advice if anybody here wants to seem more warm and human (btw. her Ti is very nice support if my Te hesitates as well)
at 4:53, I was smiling and nodding my head because it happened to me just recently. Some colleague of mine cried her heart out right in front of me and made me feel very uncomfortable, so I offered some solutions to her on how she could best confront her problems. I didn't know how she took it though cause I wasn't looking. T'was very uncomfortable.
You talk really fast, but I know I can keep up haha
Fast talking loved it!! Straight to the point no small talk. Loved it. #INTP/A
You make me glad just to speak faster. That makes you great! Well done!
I am a very considerate person because I want to be treated that way.
I am very cold and dismissive towards that kind of person
Come to think of it, I give the exact same response to my counterparts just like a mirror, a reflection of themselves.
Maybe it is a value/feeling that I based on my thinking? :D
And, yes! I can sense what people want from a conversation but mostly I choose not to react to that.
People may take me as a very cold-hearted person when actually I know the consequence of giving support to others. Not every person needs a solution. Most of the time, they only need validation or approval of their own feeling or judgment. It is a waste of time and creativity to solve this kind of problem, so I'll save my energy only to selective certain people that matters.
I really appreciate you talking fast and clear! Thank you for creating this video! ❤
"seriously, WTF is emotional affirmation??? Miss me with the BS" -
Some INTJ, probably.
Compact and Deep
Great video
Excellent description!
I’m an intj and what you said about teenager is exactly me , I’m a teenager
I think that responding with anger at times, or hurting other people's feelings just for the sake of it, has not necessarily much to do with mbti, but rather mental disorders (narcissism, borderline, sadistic urges, etc)
Look into John Beebes Cognitive attitude theory. We have Fe Trickster. Or a lack of Fe
Ni keeping it tight and precise 👍
I did enjoy this discussion. Thank you.
Actually, that stereotype of "does not care about how people feel and will bluntly tell someone off" is more of ENTJ for me.
As for my case, I actually assess whether or not people will be adequately apt to receive the feedback. If I think this will bring me more time and effort to explain or understand, I won't do it.
However, I won't hesitate shutting people down or off when someone's being unreasonable.
Great Video, Totally Agree, Thank you!!
Speaking as a young and growing INTJ, I can say that I would describe myself and other INTJs as ‘blunt’.
We say our thoughts out loud without changing them much. But we’re not stupid we know that some people don’t care about what we say or want or think so we can still understand when to talk and when to stay silent.
My situation specifically is harsher because I am in a great many minority groups. So I can’t really talk a lot about myself or my thoughts in fear that the person I’m speaking to is a bigot.
Also, that thing you said about goals? Yeah, in my experience I have a very single-mindedness on my life, my needs and wants. But yeah, I’m a very private person regarding my emotional life and outside of say 2 or 3 people I have very few people I care for enough to talk to them about my emotions.
It’s even enough where for those few people I would give up my own life. I...I have several issues about self worth and because of that to me these special people are my reason for living.
The easiest way I can think to sum it up is that I don’t live for myself I live for my goals and for my chosen family.
...
Meh, I’m just very self focused. I care too much for the the few I care about. Thank you for helping to clear up this stereotype about us.
Top stuff. Very accurate🧐
I'm an INTJ who has been enduring a lot of pain and it's been causing me to have a shortened fuse and has caused me to start blowing up at little things. Is this a normal thing?
Idk if people view me as insensitive but my sisters do describe me as selfish. I dont think selfish is the right word cause I am pretty helpful, but ever since I can remember, I dont care about others on certain matters - probably my own percieved goals. I wish I could send this video to my sisters and tell them I am not selfish, I just have my priorities right lol..But Ik this video is not their cup of tea, lmao
If you have trouble with giving unwanted advice to people (no matter how good the advice actually is) I think it's useful to remember that most people just want to be heard, and the best thing you can actually do is give them time, space, and your attention. So you can view simply listening as the best solution to the person's issue... At least it works for me in most cases.
Thanks for. Simply put: we cannot Fe. Correct? I realize MBTI doesn't account for Fe trickster (yet) but I think it explains a lot of the issues we, as INTJs, have.
I reason that the two functions we most take for granted are our dominant function and our trickster function. Just seems to make sense.
Another thing: one of my theories about how otherpeople perceive INTJs is I feel like I am constantly misunderstood and people think that I am a, e.g., mean jerk.
If I ever submit and end it, no one will ever understand why I did it, few will think that it's guilt or karma.
And that's fine.
I think, you being an INTJ, you talking about the pressure points of the INTJ is just unsettling for you. INTJ’s hate to be vulnerable, especially emotionally. It can be used against you. I think that’s why you spoke so fast.
So true. Intj female here.
Okay honestly im kinda convinced mbti is a pseudo science cause most people just use it as their own interpretation and almost nobody has the same the theories. Between sara mbti, csj, eric and the guy with skitts all the similarities are very shallow and im just too confused to reâlly pick a way to think.
You'll find that everything in the realm of Psychology is soft science, which will be "pseudo science" to the more skeptical.
Thanks for the video
I want to say that at the most time intj is insensitive. But later when the time has passed. Intj become suddenly sensitive and remind the past when he was engaged with someone emotionally. I don't know why though.
As a INTJ you can mature in any of your functions and make them strengths in life. Your not set in stone your living and growing
What’s the most insensitive type? And why does repressed functions a larger part of personality than child(tertiary) function?
ENTJ, probably. And I think because INXJs filter Se through Ni ... that's essentially what the 'perceiving' is that he mentions.
I like your videos
IJs are calm particularly INTJs? Yes and no. I think they probably dont show their emotions to just about anybody but there are INTJs who are turbulent I think, in their heads, that is. And may snap once or twice but will look like they have no emotions for the most part to outsiders.
I'd say, having Fe is a curse.
It sure the f*** can be. I mean, everyone "has" this, being aware of it helps.
I'm an intj with anger what can I do
What happens if an INTJ is able to better develop their tertiary and inferior functions?
Immature INTJs can definitely be insentive, but as we mature we learn to moderate our desire to tell people exactly what we think simply to be able to walk among "Normal" society.
Mind you as we become older, wiser and independent and care less about what society thinks the cuffs tend to come off again. Being an "older" INTJ has it's benefits.
The insensitivity required to cut into a human body and operate for good
@0:23 It isn't. It does, however, explain something to most people in a way that aligns with what they have witnessed. Generally speaking, most people will agree with something if presented in a way that "makes sense" even if it isn't entirely correct. And, let's be honest, us INTJs are simply not well understood.
Oh, It's also very meme worthy.
I remove emotion, that seems like insensitivity but it’s not.