This was a very helpful video! I’m a cis gay guy and I dated a trans guy a few years ago and I kinda wish this video had been around back then because I didn’t know too much about terminology and how it might affect dysphoria and I feel like I made a lot of vernacular mistakes because I was uneducated
@@M00nGlitzeven if you believe that you have abandoned us, we still love and support you, and will never abandon you! Queer rights are human rights! I was born before Stonewall, I know how a lifetime of hiding and living in fear can harm a person’s soul, we love you and accept you regardless.😊
I think this was a great video and a good start of an educational series. I also think it might be good to emphasize the context in which it is ok to ask about a specific person's preferences in terminology, as a lot of people feel curious/entitled to know about a trans person's anatomy, when it's frankly none of their business. And not all people who ask "what's down there/have you had 'the surgery' " have bad intentions, but it's also a good thing to help trans people set boundaries.
Why would you feel the need to ask anyone what genitals they have? In polite conversation? You wouldnt ask someone if they do something kinky in bed! Would you be expected to answer questions on what you do in bed? Why is that anyone elses business. This is so stupid!
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 I think it would be ok/useful for people to talk about this when they're planning on being intimate together. Or when close friends are used to talk about those things. Those are situations I can think of where it would be respectful to know and use the preferred terminology. But most of the times, it can be a very inappropriate question.
The correct response is to ask them "why they would ask a stranger that. Then follow up why you would think that's appropriate?" Trans and non binary people don't owe strangers their status on their genitals. Much like asking a stranger if they have a STI or are into kink. That's only info that's useful if your in a medical visit, w a new partner(s) or you feel comfortable with a close friend talking about sex stuff. Otherwise trans/non binary people don't owe people personal information. Much like you don't owe random people your trauma or mental health status.
Wonderfully done Ocean ☺ I didn't have top surgery until after starting T, they got hairy and droopy, so I called them my "chesticles". Now I just say chest. I heard a term for the lower front hole "bonus hole boy" and how use either that or "the bat cave". Thank you for helping us and others feel body positivity 🫶
This is a great video! Good job bro :) Oh, just a side note: I think the background music could be a bit lower, sometimes it was a bit louder than your voice :)
Thanks so much for the video Ocean! I agree, it's such an important conversation to be having more regularly. I'm a trans guy and something I've struggled a lot with is finding words I like for myself. I've been lucky to have partners who ask the good important questions, but then I'm often at a loss for what to say. Anyone else feel this way? It's particularly tricky when partners will ask how to make me feel good, and so I want to be specific but come up against a lot of dysphoria if I try to explain using specific genital words. Would love to know if anyone has tips on how to navigate more in depth conversations about your own pleasure with gender dysphoria.
That makes sense, and you're not alone! There's nothing wrong with saying "I don't know right now". You can always come up with something more comfortable later :)
HI Ocean! You really covered a sensitive topic in a candid but respectful way. You have a really great presentation persona and it was really quite informative. Thank you! 🥰🏳⚧
Of course but that’s not always an option, if you’re trying to get down and dirty with someone say the word private parts is a bit vague when trying to explain what you like. Of course there’s also other situations where there needs to be less vague words.
I would say yes, I also use that term in general conversations. Maybe in bed I would find it unappealing but in other contexts it is a good term to use.
@@LevviTalkwhy would you wasnt to talk about someone’s genitals? Where has this ever been acceptable and why is it anyone elses business? Who says at a dinner party let’s talk about vaginas and penises…..!? Really? Since when? And why? Why does anyone think it’s okay to question someone else what they like doing in bed. Is it anyone elses business. This is sucha. Stupid thing to do. They have hacked trans people on tv shows if they have had the opportunity! It’s irrelevant and its not anyones business and why focus on the genitals. And not the person. Bullshit.
Thank you for this great bit of sex ed! Who'd have thought: being open, considerate, and caring makes for a better relationship and sex life! Even though I'm a cis-het male in a long term cis-het relationship, but I'd rather be informed and not need the knowledge than be uninformed should I need to know. 🤩🏳⚧⚧💯 I also applaud you for using the correct anatomical word for external phenotypical female genitalia. 👏 (I can't even get my cis-het female partner to keep the difference sorted! 🙄) Completely off topic, but @1:43 - you're calico is SO CUTE! 😍😽💜🐱
To me all these terms are still kind of unusual, because i grow up strict and without talking about genitals at all. I try to avoid to name it and call it only „downstairs“
It’s got nothing to do with being strict. Its got a lot to do with good manners and its no ones business. This podcast thing is so ridiculous. Why do they feel the need to bring genitals into the discussion. Its the person in front of you and what they have in their trousers or dont have is none of anyones bussiness. The same if someone says, defo you like talking it up the arse! Why is that relevant?
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 you have your opinion, you don’t need any informations, fine and that’s alright. But for some people it’s important to talk about these things. You don’t need to follow it.
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 it's relevant if you're asking a sexual partner. That seems pretty obvious. Like telling someone the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon if you're cooking together.
Absolute rubbish! Why do feel the need to discuss genitals. Why is it anyone else’s bussiness. It’s done in polite company. I have never heard anyone discuss genitals at a dinner party. And why should it come up! It’s so stupid!
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 then why did you click on the video and choose to make comments if you don't like this topic!!??? don't like the topic don't watch...simple as that, bruh
I remember being intemate with a previous partner of mine who was a translady and she called my genitals a "pussy" i was dissociated at the time but i think of it alot, i really hated it, the memory brings my alot of dysphoria since i find the word quite harsh and objectified. They lower region makes me feel quite sad and incomplete, mutalated even.(even tho ive had no prior operations) I try not to think of my anatomy all that often but i find that i do nearly everyday. Due to this i have come up with words with 'masculine connotations' that make me feel more comfortable. i find that im quite fond if the terms ; junk, crotch, inny and crown Jules. I find them quite funny and helps take the edge of the topic. While my bottom dysphoria is all so ever pressent these words help me feel normal.
comment repost (this time with censors) ÑSFW terminology ↓ ftm nb here! t-d!ck is one i see a lot of pre- or no-op transmasc people use (myself included). i mostly see it used by people who have done testosterone-based HRT & had bottom (cl!tor@l) growth. i also see cl!t-d!ck used sometimes; i find this is more common with people who are more comfortable using female biology terms, such as butch women who have been on testosterone.
ftm nb here - i tried to post a comment about some terms i use and the comment got eaten, presumably by youtubes censorship algorithm. :/ this is a good conversation youve gotten started, but continuing it may prove to be difficult..
@@hippocraticloafi typed it out again and commented it with terms censored tiktok-style and it seems to have gone through this time ^^ hopefully it sticks
Why is it anyone’s business what you have in your pants? Since when is it appropriate to discuss someone’s genitals? Why is that a focus of this discussion? People dont have to know. Some would find this question offensive and so it is irrelevant! There is a difference between curiosity and good manners. It’s not anyone’s business. Full stop.
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 omigosh why are you commenting? do you not know how algorythms work? if you don’t like the subject or think it’s none of your business, scroll by!
Personally I don't mind most words associated with my assigned gender at birth, but a few get me SUPER dysphoric. Most unserious words for breast's such as kiddies or knockers are fine but I dislike the word breast's to be referred to me specifically. I'm fine with the use of the word in general. Words for the genitals are similar, I don't like the word pussy, c*nt, or vagina being used for me specifically, and I find the words bussy, manhole, front hole or man cave to be more comfortable. Vulva is also fine since it doesn't really feel connected to human gender as much. The word I can't stand to even hear offhandedly not referring to any person in particular is cli***is, I can barely stand to even type it. I prefer the words cock, penis, dick, or tdick. The word womb also gives me the heebie jeebies most of the time, not doing it right now though for whatever reason.
It’s not fantastic. Its bullshit. Who wants to talk about someone’s genitals at a dinner table or anywhere and why is it relevant? Curiosity is different to good manners. Why would someone feel it’s okay to say, do you like nailking your scriptures to a burning building while someone shoves a hose pipe up your arse. ITS IRRELEVANT! It’s offensive to focus on genitals and nopt the person. All the person is doing is statisfying their curiosity. Its got nothing to do with anything and no ones business.
I’ve asked TH-cam not to recommend you to me like a thousand times, literally since I was a kid and yet somehow you’re still here💀 granted I did used to be all pro trans when I was younger but god grief you’d think TH-cam would get the point by now
Why do you need to talk about peoples genitals. That shouldnt be a question. Peoples genitals shouldnt come up in polite conversation. weather you are a man woman or inbetween. why are they making this into a “thing”?
Because if you are wanting to become intimate with a trans/ non binary person calling their genitalia by binary definitions could be triggering to them. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to understand someone better or simply wanting to learn about the topic. We shouldnt be dancing around these topics, the more people understand about the trans community the more accepting theyll hopefully be And just as a disclaimer, i identify as a cis female, so I dont have any experience relating to this, so I found this video and the comment section quite informative
I absolutely agree that it shouldn't come up in polite or casual conversation, and I don't think anyone is arguing that you should ask random trans people about their genitals. However, if you're going to be physically intimate with someone, you need to know how to communicate
This was a very helpful video! I’m a cis gay guy and I dated a trans guy a few years ago and I kinda wish this video had been around back then because I didn’t know too much about terminology and how it might affect dysphoria and I feel like I made a lot of vernacular mistakes because I was uneducated
We live and learn! Happy you're learning from this and want to continue learning!
Never a bad idea to ask your partner before using any terms for their body, regardless of gender or trans experience.
So then not gay lol
🇺🇸 I am a 68 yo gay man trying to understand the terminology, thank you
64 yo gay man here who has no interest in this terminology. I left the LGBT when they added the Q.
@@M00nGlitzeven if you believe that you have abandoned us, we still love and support you, and will never abandon you! Queer rights are human rights! I was born before Stonewall, I know how a lifetime of hiding and living in fear can harm a person’s soul, we love you and accept you regardless.😊
@@M00nGlitzreclaiming the slur or not, this conversation has been around and isn’t anything new. It’s just about respecting people’s boundaries
Ocean is such a cool name
Thanks!
I think this was a great video and a good start of an educational series.
I also think it might be good to emphasize the context in which it is ok to ask about a specific person's preferences in terminology, as a lot of people feel curious/entitled to know about a trans person's anatomy, when it's frankly none of their business.
And not all people who ask "what's down there/have you had 'the surgery' " have bad intentions, but it's also a good thing to help trans people set boundaries.
Why would you feel the need to ask anyone what genitals they have? In polite conversation? You wouldnt ask someone if they do something kinky in bed! Would you be expected to answer questions on what you do in bed? Why is that anyone elses business. This is so stupid!
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 I think it would be ok/useful for people to talk about this when they're planning on being intimate together. Or when close friends are used to talk about those things. Those are situations I can think of where it would be respectful to know and use the preferred terminology.
But most of the times, it can be a very inappropriate question.
The correct response is to ask them "why they would ask a stranger that. Then follow up why you would think that's appropriate?" Trans and non binary people don't owe strangers their status on their genitals. Much like asking a stranger if they have a STI or are into kink. That's only info that's useful if your in a medical visit, w a new partner(s) or you feel comfortable with a close friend talking about sex stuff. Otherwise trans/non binary people don't owe people personal information. Much like you don't owe random people your trauma or mental health status.
Yes, you're so right! Totally left out that part and will make sure to be clearer next time, thanks for this!
thank you so much for explaining this! your videos are very much needed and always have such a kind vibe :)
Thank you so much! That's so kind!
Would you go and ask a person at the dinner table if their boobs are real/ or if they have a vagina or penis? Who does that!?
Wonderfully done Ocean ☺
I didn't have top surgery until after starting T, they got hairy and droopy, so I called them my "chesticles". Now I just say chest.
I heard a term for the lower front hole "bonus hole boy" and how use either that or "the bat cave".
Thank you for helping us and others feel body positivity 🫶
Ohhh I also love the phrase chesticles! And Bonus hole boy! Bat cave is so funny haha!
ive known of guys to use the term "man cave" lol
This is a great video! Good job bro :)
Oh, just a side note: I think the background music could be a bit lower, sometimes it was a bit louder than your voice :)
Oh thank you for this! I’ll turn it down next time :)
Thanks so much for the video Ocean! I agree, it's such an important conversation to be having more regularly. I'm a trans guy and something I've struggled a lot with is finding words I like for myself. I've been lucky to have partners who ask the good important questions, but then I'm often at a loss for what to say. Anyone else feel this way? It's particularly tricky when partners will ask how to make me feel good, and so I want to be specific but come up against a lot of dysphoria if I try to explain using specific genital words. Would love to know if anyone has tips on how to navigate more in depth conversations about your own pleasure with gender dysphoria.
That makes sense, and you're not alone! There's nothing wrong with saying "I don't know right now". You can always come up with something more comfortable later :)
HI Ocean! You really covered a sensitive topic in a candid but respectful way. You have a really great presentation persona and it was really quite informative. Thank you! 🥰🏳⚧
Thank you!!
Themitals ©️
Haha love this!
I just call mine a gock
my girl co-
(I LOVE HOW THIS TERM IS ACTUALLY IN THE VIDEO YAY)
gick and genis are also kinda cute and silly ngl
Also you're really cute, I love your positive vibe and charming attitude 💛
“Cocktail sausage”
Wooo! Gock representation!!!
In my day they used the term “private parts”. Is this still acceptable to everyone?
Of course but that’s not always an option, if you’re trying to get down and dirty with someone say the word private parts is a bit vague when trying to explain what you like. Of course there’s also other situations where there needs to be less vague words.
My boyfriend is 68 year old (cis gay man) and he uses it. I don't think there's nothing wrong with that to be generic.
I would say yes, I also use that term in general conversations. Maybe in bed I would find it unappealing but in other contexts it is a good term to use.
@@LevviTalkwhy would you wasnt to talk about someone’s genitals? Where has this ever been acceptable and why is it anyone elses business? Who says at a dinner party let’s talk about vaginas and penises…..!? Really? Since when? And why? Why does anyone think it’s okay to question someone else what they like doing in bed. Is it anyone elses business. This is sucha. Stupid thing to do. They have hacked trans people on tv shows if they have had the opportunity! It’s irrelevant and its not anyones business and why focus on the genitals. And not the person. Bullshit.
trans guy here: privat parts is totally acceptable unless the person you talk to tells you specifically not to use the term for them.
I am a gay man with intersex (pmds) and my boy friend is a ftm transgender gay.
Thank you for this great bit of sex ed! Who'd have thought: being open, considerate, and caring makes for a better relationship and sex life! Even though I'm a cis-het male in a long term cis-het relationship, but I'd rather be informed and not need the knowledge than be uninformed should I need to know. 🤩🏳⚧⚧💯 I also applaud you for using the correct anatomical word for external phenotypical female genitalia. 👏 (I can't even get my cis-het female partner to keep the difference sorted! 🙄)
Completely off topic, but @1:43 - you're calico is SO CUTE! 😍😽💜🐱
Thank you for this! Hahaha that's Olive in the background :)
To me all these terms are still kind of unusual, because i grow up strict and without talking about genitals at all. I try to avoid to name it and call it only „downstairs“
It’s got nothing to do with being strict. Its got a lot to do with good manners and its no ones business. This podcast thing is so ridiculous. Why do they feel the need to bring genitals into the discussion. Its the person in front of you and what they have in their trousers or dont have is none of anyones bussiness. The same if someone says, defo you like talking it up the arse! Why is that relevant?
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 you have your opinion, you don’t need any informations, fine and that’s alright. But for some people it’s important to talk about these things. You don’t need to follow it.
That makes sense, I think a few people can relate to that!
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 it's relevant if you're asking a sexual partner. That seems pretty obvious. Like telling someone the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon if you're cooking together.
I’ve learned a lot from your videos. Thank you!
Happy to help!
Whatever they tell me to call their genitals.
important topic and great idea for a series...
Thank you!
Absolute rubbish! Why do feel the need to discuss genitals. Why is it anyone else’s bussiness. It’s done in polite company. I have never heard anyone discuss genitals at a dinner party. And why should it come up! It’s so stupid!
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 then why did you click on the video and choose to make comments if you don't like this topic!!??? don't like the topic don't watch...simple as that, bruh
I’m really excited for this series
Aww thank you!
I remember being intemate with a previous partner of mine who was a translady and she called my genitals a "pussy" i was dissociated at the time but i think of it alot, i really hated it, the memory brings my alot of dysphoria since i find the word quite harsh and objectified.
They lower region makes me feel quite sad and incomplete, mutalated even.(even tho ive had no prior operations)
I try not to think of my anatomy all that often but i find that i do nearly everyday. Due to this i have come up with words with 'masculine connotations' that make me feel more comfortable.
i find that im quite fond if the terms ; junk, crotch, inny and crown Jules.
I find them quite funny and helps take the edge of the topic.
While my bottom dysphoria is all so ever pressent these words help me feel normal.
Thank you for doing this!❤
It's a pleasure :)
comment repost (this time with censors)
ÑSFW terminology ↓
ftm nb here! t-d!ck is one i see a lot of pre- or no-op transmasc people use (myself included). i mostly see it used by people who have done testosterone-based HRT & had bottom (cl!tor@l) growth.
i also see cl!t-d!ck used sometimes; i find this is more common with people who are more comfortable using female biology terms, such as butch women who have been on testosterone.
Thanks for sharing this!
As an afab non-binary person I call my cl!t my d!ck. It does seem to help with my dysphoria
Thank you so much! I'll look forward to more videos.
ftm nb here - i tried to post a comment about some terms i use and the comment got eaten, presumably by youtubes censorship algorithm. :/
this is a good conversation youve gotten started, but continuing it may prove to be difficult..
dang i wish i got to read your previous comment!
@@hippocraticloafi typed it out again and commented it with terms censored tiktok-style and it seems to have gone through this time ^^ hopefully it sticks
Why is it anyone’s business what you have in your pants? Since when is it appropriate to discuss someone’s genitals? Why is that a focus of this discussion? People dont have to know. Some would find this question offensive and so it is irrelevant! There is a difference between curiosity and good manners. It’s not anyone’s business. Full stop.
@@suckerfish3043irrelevant question. It doesnt need to be discussed.
@@giuseppemariocescutti-fitz5835 omigosh why are you commenting? do you not know how algorythms work? if you don’t like the subject or think it’s none of your business, scroll by!
Personally I don't mind most words associated with my assigned gender at birth, but a few get me SUPER dysphoric. Most unserious words for breast's such as kiddies or knockers are fine but I dislike the word breast's to be referred to me specifically. I'm fine with the use of the word in general. Words for the genitals are similar, I don't like the word pussy, c*nt, or vagina being used for me specifically, and I find the words bussy, manhole, front hole or man cave to be more comfortable. Vulva is also fine since it doesn't really feel connected to human gender as much. The word I can't stand to even hear offhandedly not referring to any person in particular is cli***is, I can barely stand to even type it. I prefer the words cock, penis, dick, or tdick. The word womb also gives me the heebie jeebies most of the time, not doing it right now though for whatever reason.
This is fantastic! 🎉🎉🎉
It’s not fantastic. Its bullshit. Who wants to talk about someone’s genitals at a dinner table or anywhere and why is it relevant? Curiosity is different to good manners. Why would someone feel it’s okay to say, do you like nailking your scriptures to a burning building while someone shoves a hose pipe up your arse. ITS IRRELEVANT! It’s offensive to focus on genitals and nopt the person. All the person is doing is statisfying their curiosity. Its got nothing to do with anything and no ones business.
Thanks!!
I’ve asked TH-cam not to recommend you to me like a thousand times, literally since I was a kid and yet somehow you’re still here💀 granted I did used to be all pro trans when I was younger but god grief you’d think TH-cam would get the point by now
maybe you're secretly in love with me and youtube is trying to tell you
Why do you need to talk about peoples genitals. That shouldnt be a question. Peoples genitals shouldnt come up in polite conversation. weather you are a man woman or inbetween. why are they making this into a “thing”?
This is for people you’re being intimate with..
Because if you are wanting to become intimate with a trans/ non binary person calling their genitalia by binary definitions could be triggering to them. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to understand someone better or simply wanting to learn about the topic. We shouldnt be dancing around these topics, the more people understand about the trans community the more accepting theyll hopefully be
And just as a disclaimer, i identify as a cis female, so I dont have any experience relating to this, so I found this video and the comment section quite informative
I absolutely agree that it shouldn't come up in polite or casual conversation, and I don't think anyone is arguing that you should ask random trans people about their genitals. However, if you're going to be physically intimate with someone, you need to know how to communicate
Genitals are genitals….why do they have a different name for genitals.
Because genitals consist of different parts, and some people like to talk about them when appropriate to do so.