@@TheBitterSarcasmOfMs.Anthropy It doesn't dude. Only in your head. It's totally up to you. Must be super hard to hear, but the truth. Good luck. I believe in you
6:45 - Who is Responsible for quality of your life? 9:23 - What it means to take Responsibility?(Control following 6 areas) 9:40 - Success(Easy) 10:18 - Failures(Difficult) 11:14 - Emotions 12:10 - Accidents 13:51 - Circumstances 14:50 - Relationships 16:00 - Development 19:00 - Model of Development(Victim,Fighter,Creator,Peace) 26:26 - Difference between Blaming and Responsibility 28:40 - Reactions 31:58 - Shift 33:54 - Why person stays Victim. 35:00 - About Leo's being Victim 40:59 - The Scary Part 45:27 - Problem And Solution 47:22 - Importance of Role model/Mentors 48:29 - No Excuses 49:35 - List of Phrases by Victims and Solutions 58:58 - Recap Thank You Leo.
If you liked this video, I recommend you watch these related videos too: 1) How To Master Your Emotions - A Radical New Paradigm To Live By 2) True Value - How To Create Success Out Of Nowhere 3) Self-Help Products - Increase Your Results From Self-Help Products by 10x 4) Dream Life - What It Takes To Create An Extraordinary Life
Hey Leo, I find it very impressive that you're able to release videos taken in one single take and still manage to make it very well structured. Amazing comtent as well. Keep doing more!
@@barraman. When I "fix" video or audio, I am recording a new clip and inserting the new clip. I use video editing software, like Camtasia from Techsmith.com
Love it. I'm 58 and ready to have some peace and let go of the past, one sided relationships, and live the rest of my life intentionally with as much enjoyment as I can. Thank you for a great video. Taking notes and putting them in a folder called LEO.
Hi Leo. I'm rewatching this video after a year, and realizing how far I've come. Before using your channel, I came to the realization in a therapy session, after learning meditation, that my mind could control so much more than I thought. After ending therapy and continuing to improve myself through self-help I came across your channel. Your work allowed me to go from being a victim to a creator in about three months. I've been using your videos for over a year now and I can't express my gratitude enough. You have single handedly changed my life, drastically, as I'm sure you've done for many. Your mission is beautiful and I only hope others can benefit as much from your knowledge as I am. Thanks again.-Lauren
Same here Lauren. How are things now? I am three years behind you in self development using Leo's work and after only two years I have left toxic relationships and jobs and gone back to school, attended silent meditation retreats and becoming a Yogi. I am curious how you are doing four years after you wrote this. Still progressing?
@@LisaKinoti Hi Lisa! That's amazing to hear :) I've been keeping up with self development. Mindfulness has been something that I've focused on and studied. All I can say is that I've learned there's a tool for dealing with every challenge, and that everyone can go about their journey in their own, gentle way.
Leo you are an absolute genius. I have been playing the victim for so long. I blamed everything on my relationship with my father, my so called depression and so on. I have been constantly wondering why do my friends contact me and then quit talking, why do I do so much for others and no one does anything for me? I don't want to be that person. I don't want to constantly doubt my self worth and in turn play the victim. Your videos have inspired me to stop being a victim and start taking charge of my life. I want to have that upward hill motion and stop plateauing :)
I feel like the luckiest woman in the world right now simply because I stumbled upon this life altering video. Your words and the way you said them Resonated something deep down in me. I cried and got goosebumps throughout it. May sound dramatic but it’s true. I recently moved from CA to NM, then to TX to help my son and daughter in law with their kids. 3 moves in 3 mos, this was after a difficult breakup. I broke my foot 3 weeks in to all of this. To sum it up, I’ve handled myself poorly a lot, lots of drama with my son and daughter-in-law. I’ve made a lot of mistakes while helping them with their kids. It’s at a critical point. (I am living with them) and my sister recently told me that I need to stop being the victim. I started researching what a victim really was and I am 100% a victim and it was a kick in the teeth when the definition of a victim described me to a tee. So I got on TH-cam and started my journey to self help, and there you were. So thank you Leo, I’m f’ing excited to work on me, and give critical effort on many different aspects of my life. In turn I WILL turn my intense relationships around with my son, and make the move to TX successful for us all. I WILL lose my excess weight, I WILL take Excel courses and get a great job, and lastly I will prepare myself in all ways to finding and keeping a loving healthy relationship. So thanks again for all that you do, don’t ever stop touching the lives of so many. I wish I could hug you. ♥️♥️♥️ *** UPDATE *** I did it, I found a wonderful job in the state of Washington and found an adorable home to rent close to my daughter! I was unhappy in Texas but felt I was stuck there and had no energy to change things. I was depressed, self confidence was shot, and had so many fears and anxieties I had severe insomnia from it, to the point it was making me ill. Watched this video over and over and I’m extremely proud of myself that I traveled over 2400 miles in 5 days with my 10 yr old Persian Simba. I love my new job and Washington is beautiful. My confidence is building back up and my health is improving. Thanks again Leo.
I listened for the whole hour - I needed to hear every word. I'm tired of being a victim, a life time negative thinker for 51 yrs and I do want to change. I am! Thank you for your work and I wish you much success.
I've been making myself miserable for months now over some old self esteem and anxiety issues and I have to tell you. In one video..this one here..you brought so much home for me! You've helped me to save the most important relationship I've ever been in--the one with myself!! I've not felt this at peace in so long, thank you Leo!!!!!
+Actualized.org leo I really like your videos it helps me for now when im ready ill try to teach my dad the bad part my dad is always holding on to the past the past doesn't help me when he talks about it
This really changed my view on life. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for a couple of years, I pity myself everyday saying "What is wrong with me?", "Why did this happen to me?". Today I realise that I have the power to change my thoughts and feelings, to change my state of mind and to change my actions. I realise that there is nothing wrong with me, I just have not put in the effort and massive action towards the life I want to live. I realise today that his will not be easy, however, it will always be worth it in the end. Thank you!
my God you are right, you are so right about massive fucking action . I finally remembered who I am, I'm stuck because I lost my self esteem and confidence in my own abilities. I used to be a really hyper kid who was really very capable. That's who I want to be. I was caught in an emotional trauma as a child and lost my confidence. I was left I'm emotional dump/rut and self loathing. you hit the pin on the head. spot on.
I feel exactly the same... I'm 27 still with my parents. Honestly nothing seriously wrong with but when you haven't finished school and still delivering pizza at this age. It fucking sucks. I put myself in such a rut/bad habit and never feel like I can ever leave. I still feel like a victim but I've been listening to Leo for a while but I can't seem to act upon what he's been talking about. I've lost all motivation in life and feel useless and empty. I used to be that kid who literally excelled past EVERYONE in my class. Then just like your childhood trauma. My parents always expected so much to the point where I hated doing anything and instantly loss motivation. Although I know my parents have loved me throughout all my life, they were never really 'there' because they would work so much. But nevertheless I hate pointing fingers at my parents because like Leo said, you can't point fingers at others but identify the issues in you and work them through. I got so much work to work on and I really need to work hard on myself. It's so painful as well when shit at your work place goes down and you're also part of it. I still have such a difficult time to even accept what I've done but still I know that all the things I've done are truly my own doing. It's not the fact that it's my fault, truly it is my fault and I accept that. I KNOW that but why can't I act. Why can't I stop whining and complaining about the stupid shit in my life. Why can't I fight and work through the pain. I feel so empty and desolate inside. empty.. I've watched so many of his videos but WHY CAN'T I ACT
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+Actualized.org Thank you for your videos. They have really helped me. I wonder what your opinion is when it comes to dealing with and moving on from a close ones death or a nother big loss. Its been many years and i still dont feel like i have moved on and that somethings wrong. I am curious about what you think about this topic. Have a good day
I am sorry to hear that and i hope you will be doing better. I am trying a new thing that might work for you If its about the same problem. I do a combination of being sad when I am sad. Not hiding emotions as much as i used to. Combined with "fake it until you make it". meaning, i sometimes pretend i am more confident than i am and i pretend that i feel like hanging out with friends, even when i dont feel like it, until the real feelings come. It takes time and its a lot of work but i think thats better than isolation. The thing that seems to work most for me is owning my sorrow. If I am sad for my dogs death 3 years ago I am going to be sad. I feel so much better not pressuring my self to move on faster because i imagine that my friends think "come on... Its been 3 years. You have to move on". I think I Havent mourn properly since when it happend and instead Ive been victimizing. Google Leos videos about victimizing its a great video. Wish you luck!
+Actualized.org Leo what about Bullying? People who are abusive towards us. Should we laugh at them? That's the only responsible reaction i can think of. lmao
+p pp I am definitely no professional, but it seems like your too worried about giving a response you feel is necessary for the action at hand. Someone is making a gesture at you, which must require a gesture back. The most notable way I find to respond in this situation is to not respond at all. A bad action doesn't require a good balancing action to be settled, and in some cases this will lead to more anger in the bully as they will feel even more incompetent than they already do to be a bully in the first place. Just realize that you have the ability to pick your battles, your bully does not. :)
I really need help. I'm 15 and live in the uk, next year I leave school and I still have no idea what career I want to have. I don't really have any talents and most things tend to bore me after a while, so I'm having trouble with this. Please could you make a video on career choices and making sure that you can pick the right one for us, it would mean ALOT.
It is possible! I took me 3 years to give up clas a drugs,to gain weight from 54 kg to 77kg,to stop smoking,to stop drinking,to become a good chef,to eat healty,to stop drinking coca cola,to fix my teaths(did them today) to respect myself. Is hard changing your life,but after you start wining consistant against yourself,you become friend with you and the amount of power and energy drived by the an infinite filed of motivation makes you feel almost like on drugs but is constant...and is healty! This is my lvl and how i see the world now. Leo thank you for sharing this information with us. And i know i have to work on my english lvl...:)
A friend of mine had sent me this video because of some stuff going on in my life. This has really changed my perspective of myself and my life. Thank you so much for this video!
Your videos helped me a lot. I was a (depressed) victim. YUCK! I like when you said forget the past, forget the future and forget what you know about the world.
Yep, its easy and feels good to bitch and complain and leech pity from people. Its hard to to take massive action and do everything in your power to fix your own situation.
Considering how pity often comes with an air of superiority (going by Brene Brown's definition), I wonder how it would benefit those who play the victim.
Hey Leo Just wanted to say that your videos have been a life line for me as of late. It started a couple of months when I was looking for some videos on positive thinking and methods of keeping yourself from drowning in negativity, especially self pity and guilt. Since then I am now on a journey to discover myself and to better myself, and you were one of the catalyst's of that. Thank you for the help you offer to those looking for it.
I used to be victim, especially at work, where I have been for 19 years. But your videos are starting to release me. Thank you so much for making things right. Amazing.
I watched this video two years ago, but I came here to copy the link for one of my friends and I realized I have never expressed my gratitude. Since I stopped calling myself a victim, I've got so far: I've lost 36 pounds, I've met a wonderful guy who is committed to make me feel beloved every single day and I became so much more open-minded and aware and I progress every single day. Even tho I am really proud of myself, I could never be grateful enough for finding your channel and this particular video, because it is life-changing. Thank you for your hard work!
What I like about you (apart from your hilarious thumbnails) is that you talk self development without getting all woo woo, your comments are tangible and people can go out and implement it and be sure of seeing results. Thumbs up.
What really resonates with me in one of the examples he used in this video is education. He said he used to be bad at academics in high school and turned it around by stop being a victim. Same thing happened to me. I was always very self conscious, and had a defeatest mindset about everything in life. I wasn't good at anything, especially academics. It was the worst in middle school. But after our family moved to America because I was doing so poorly in Korea that I had basically no bright prospects, I was basically failing every subject, except just math. I never associated myself with academics. I was super antisocial as well, I actually have basically no friend to hangout with if I go back to Korea. When I got to America, I made the decision to change my life around. I wanted to start fresh, and create a new me. I decided to stop being a victim. My academic results gradually increased. Now I am at Johns Hopkins majoring in neuroscience / premed with almost a perfect GPA and about to graduate a semester early. Though I have never worked this hard in my life and pushed myself so far, at the end of the day, I always came out happier. Now people around me consider me as the smarter one most of the times. It was a great feeling. I have much more confidence about having control in my life now, though I am not at the "creator" stage yet. but I am not saying that I have reach my full potential yet. Obviously I haven't and I still have a lot of room to improve and I know it. I am not necessarily a completely confident person, just much more than before. I still have my doubts and insecurities, but I hope to conquer it all. I hope to reach that soon with your help. Thanks Leo, you are really doing something impactful and amazing by putting these videos online for us to see. My sister is struggling however. While I skyrocketed, she kind of went into a lower conscious state as the years passed. I hope to help her out as well and allow her to see the truths you share. I hope she can experience the same kind of transition as I had, if not better.
I know this is a 5 years late response but you said you were bad at everything else in academics except math, that doesn't nesscarily mean you were bad at education as a whole, you just probably had a specific special interest in math. In fact, just being more adept at math can already make you smarter then a person who is a either bad at all subjects or just a Jack of all trades but a master of none(the average ideology a lot of schools promote), because math can virtually be applied to nearly every other field of study and you probably would have been a brilliant mathematician or some other math related field like an engineer or programmer. While it can be helpful, I find some of Leo's advice to be a bit too absolutist and simplistic without regards to other variables that influence a situation rather then just a victimhood mentality, such as the genes behind metacognition or theory of mind, which being in neuroscience, you understand. Some people are brilliant or smart individuals like yourself but just arent fortunate to have the same metacognitive skills to know how to utilize it. Good job on you're success.
I'm 18F with an abusive father and no mother. You're my father from now ❤ i loved this videos and all that i ever learned from you. God sent you enlighten lost people like us
Sad that so many still don't get it after reading some of the comments. I have realized I've been playing the victim my whole life since I was raised by someone who played the victim. Loved this video!!
Dear Leo,with all respects,I believe that you are a Guru.I really appreciate what you are doing with all my heart.I am very fortunate to found you on youtube.
sometimes massive action is being kind to yourself. Stop your usual way of thinking at all times. Check how you're thinking, and change your thoughts. That's been so tough for me, I'm still working in that. Loved the video, love being aware of all the power I hold. Thanks!!!
I listened to this 4 years ago and changed my life. Now I regressed totally and need to go back to base 1. Which is this video, this information. I’m so hopeful again that I’m back at least on the track. If only on the very first peg, no, the “go/stop” sign before the first plank. Thank you.
It's funny actually, I found this video online, realized it was an hour long, watched five minutes of it, and decided I didn't have time to watch it on that particular day. Today, I felt kinda shitty, and I realized that my mindsets are very cyclical. So today, I watched this video, every single second. And I'm so glad I did. I have mental health struggles, and I think a lot of what I struggle with is organizing all of the thoughts in my head, and understanding my problems and faults in a concise and productive way. This video REALLY helped me with that, I can't believe how much of a difference an hour can make. Thank you very much for this video, Leo, I appreciate it :)
I have been watching your videos since I found you on TH-cam... I love your videos! I have the same outlook on life that you have. People who know me always keep telling me I am an incredibly strong person to be able to deal with the things I've gone through in life... My answer to these people is that I don't feel like I'm strong, I just work really hard at overcoming, otherwise I could convince myself to give up. Never give up!!! Life is what it is... Either make the best of it and make your own happiness or live it out miserably... Those really are the only two choices... No one but you can make that decision for you. Thank you for being so inspiring! One other thing... I'm sharing your videos because a lot of people think I'm the kind of person who doesn't need inspiration... Guess what!!! I'm constantly looking for inspiration! So, again, thank you so much for all your hard work you put in for all of us out here! No one could ever walk away from one of your videos without something learned!
Watching this again after 4 years, still very insightful regardless of where you are in your current development! 👍 hope you can revisit your older videos Leo at the level you are now.
THE BEST SELF HELP TALK EVER. I really admire how you tied the knot of control and self responsibility. Being a philosophically oriented person I need that kind of angle in order to take anyone seriously in regards to topics like these. Take responsibility for everything in life without distinguishing or arguing about which things because in the end in an epistemological way it is in your mind where the stage for these events takes place, and it's up to us to decide even how they take place, and ultimately if we ever get there to realize humbly our place to relinquish control---- my quick summary----masterful, seriously I stayed up listening to this talk it was that good. Have not heard someone connecting such a deeply spiritual idea with such a practical approach. Your talk on anger was awesome too, especially since you do not struggle with deep anger issues like many people, looking forward to learning from you!
I grew up with high intelligence, devotion, passion, opportunity, and drive. I was destined to succeed big time and was the creator. Then insert a megaton of shit into my life, and it finally got the best of me. I dropped my education, exercise, all friendships and traded them for anxiety, ptsd, and depression. Now the financial situation I live in is such that I will loose the roof over my head if I don't turn this boat around. It's like I woke up from a deep sleep several years long as a 26 year old nobody, and it hit me hard. I have watched self help videos before, but they didn't inspire me, sometimes only making me feel more hopeless. Your videos actually speak to me though. I'm not sure where to go with my life now to achieve my dreams, but I know that I must work on myself first. One line in particular was liberating, that the past doesn't exist but in our minds. Thank you so much.
Actualized.org I hope so. You're certainly right about the baby steps, because this feels like a gigantic undertaking. I'm going to choose to believe I can do it though, which is totally different than what I believed just yesterday. I will be following along, no doubt!
Saving Lenny Just "force" yourself to watch one of these videos a day. Pick whats specific to you(make a journal,start at day 1). Take notes, write down and ask yourself questions every time he implies something, and most important take some one along in your journey to give you encouragement whither they know it or not. Hang around positive people, join a group of people trying to over come obstacles of sorts wither it be physical,mental, emotional. You could even go to a homeless shelter or a old folks home and try to gain wisdom from the two (to be honest i've never done this before). Just take "Constant" baby steps, watch a channel called "FightMediocrity."He covers a lot of self help books in a few short animated minutes. When you watch Tv, watch something that's impactful. Listen to audiobooks when you cook, crap, clean, drive. On the internet, watch videos of people who do stuff that you wish you could be at. Last and important, Read. Start with the "The Power of Habit" hell i'll buy you a copy if you want, just ask for my email.
Hey Leo, I just found you looking for meditation videos and I think what you are doing is awesome. You are genuinely passionate about this and care about helping people. I think you've found your calling…I'm so glad you decided to share yourself with the world and touch people's lives…I have been on a path to enlightenment for some time now & look forward to watching more of your stuff…Thanks!!
Ive been watching only two of ur videos every single day morning noon and night. This video and Mastering Emotions (the one about the mental filter...) Amazing how this is helping me already. At first i started feeling hollow as if being a victim is all i had and now that im started to let that go, i began to feel hollow. I realized that i hadnt spent nearly as much time adding beautiful things into my life because i have been so stuck on replaying my victim story! But now im taking responsibility for everything in my life. My emotions, my thoughts and my actions and already i can feel a difference in how i experience my daily life! Thank you. Thank you so much. I will continue to watch these two videos until i have completely memorized them and apply them even more in my life and take responsibility for everything that happens in my life.
This is one of the most powerful videos on the subject of selfempowerment, that I've seen. This is what inspires me to make video's on a regular basis.
This video is so powerfull! I finally.. Finally have the feeling I can use all the energy I have in my body, I always felt something is keeping me back; and I can't grab that energy I naturally have in my body. I just can't discribe how strong this video was for me. Thank you Leo!
A great video! (as usual) Now that I know that you have a successful business and that you could do nothing else, I appreciate even more the fact that you make all the effort to help other people. It really shows that you are a self-actualized person. You are the role model I want to follow. Thanks a lot.
Leo, I have watched about 90% of all of your videos and I have to say, this is by far the greatest. I have learnt so much just from this one video! I knew I played the victim in my life for many years and now this video have clarified it for me. Thank you.
Leo, just this morning I was feeling so down and I really think I had hit rock bottom. I'd been watching your videos for a couple days and I was really able to comprehend them, but some of them FREAKED ME OUT. Especially the ones on consiousness, awareness, and how we lie to ourselves. Last night I had terrible, terrible dreams and I made an appointment with my therapist for tomorrow morning with a plan to ask to be put on medication. Then I watched your video on self acceptance and I got it. Up until then, the idea of personal development, for me, felt selfish and confusing and made me afraid it would only negatively affect my relationships and my music and how I view people. Even after watching it, I was still struggling pretty intensely, but I'm not even finished with this video and I can already tell you that I am on my way to turning my life around. I am 19 years old and I am so thankful to have found you when I did. I can't even describe how warped and twisted and dark my thinking has been the last few days and I really have been pointing fingers everywhere but on me. I want to be happy and I want to know my mind and I am willing to commit myself to personal development. I know this journey is going to be intense and I know I will struggle, but I'm ready for that. I drew the line and I stepped over it. The fear that remains with me is that I will lose people in my life right now that, even though they can be toxic, I still care for them and want them around. If you could give me some ideas of what videos may help me with unconditional love of others, it would be greatly appreciated. I cannot thank you enough for sharing this information and doing what you do. THANK YOU.
Hi Leo! I want to thank myself that I found this video and you for making it!! I bought the life purpose curse from your website and Im in the part of 100% responsibillity and I took this video as a complement of the video in the course and as a lecture in a class :) my native language is spanish but I can understand everything you say in terms of that part and in content. I hope you have a great day!
Hi Leo this is such a awaking for me. I am so glad that I watched this I was a victim I know its going to be hard but I will get there. I hear so much about being to old age is just a number you are never to old to learn something new. Look after yourself and stay safe
It really depends on the situation. None of us have ultimate power and therefore none of us have 100% control over our lives - that being said, in regards to logical absolutes, none of us have %0 control over our lives either. The very state of being alive is the ability to interact in our environment (regardless of the amount). Whether we are defined as a "victim" or not would depend on what state you're comparing that state to on the spectrum. Stop being the victim always means to make the absolute most out of the unchangeable situations you were given by making positive changes in the difficult but changeable situations you can control. If you want to "stop being a victim" start with the small but positive changes you can make in your life. Set a small goal and then reward yourself by accomplishing it. Break your previous record the next goal you make. Make it a game - the overwhelming and horrible aspects in the plight of your life can easily turn into a fun game you play where "the points you score" turn into real life improvements. The math will add up pretty quickly if you keep at it. Any of you enjoy video games? play Age of Mythology with your life.
At first, especially when you stated that getting in an accident is your responsibility, I almost clicked the video away irritated by that "BS". Well, thank god I didn't. Turned out, you had a 100% true and logical explanation that a victim like myself is too scared to admit, because collapsing in tears, thinking about how unfair life is and how tired I'm of this shit has unfortunately become my default getaway and thus it is MUCH easier than pulling myself together and figuring out an appropriate positive response. Thank you!
Same. I was annoyed too, but you are still responsible for fixing the problem after the fact - eg, you need to contact the police and the insurance company to deal with the house burglary. Sometimes also, if you look deep, sometimes you voluntarily “invited the vampire” into your life.
I just wanted to say, that this video has changed my life. I watched it yesterday evening and learned something about myself which was very prolific. Thank you from the bottom of my heart - not only am I a subscriber, but I'm also looking to becoming a student of yours. I've taken back control of my life and the rebuild and action starts today. Thank you !
This has got to be the most enlightening video I have ever seen and listened to. An absolute gem of advice. I am well on my way to being at peace now. Thank you, Leo.
Thank you so much for this video, Leo. I'm not usually one to leave a comment, but now I just have to. This must be one of the most powerful self-help messages I've heard, and I've been quite a self-help junkie for years. I already know this will change my life, even though I just finished watching :) I can't even begin to tell how happy I'm to have stumbled upon this video! Thank you thank you thank you. You are a wise man.
I swear I'm nowhere where this man is mentally and emotionally but he has has helped me so much. Sometimes I fail but I keep trying and I'm at a point in my life where I remember what he says and I calm down. I go back to my happy place. I'm responsible for how I feel. I have no control over others actions
Before listening to this, I had no clue I had a victim mentality towards my education - now it’s obvious that I had, and it’s so hard to realize how blinded I was before.. my only way forward is to cut all the bs, to take that massive action, and just f complete my studies. No more whining and laziness. It’s on my own hands. Thanks Leo.
I had seen this video 5-6 months a go I guess. I was a half a victim and half a fighter, then a good fighter. Now, after months, I can surely say I can feel a very strong sense of possibility of being a creator, so so so strong. I'm having a gradual growth towards creator, can see details. I wanna thank you from all my heart. However there're lots of other people like you as well who have helped lifting myself up. I'm thankful for having them around too. Thanks.
leo im crying thanks for everything you give for free you change my life ive been Depressed and stuck for so long i fucking hate it your vids and advice changes my life i cant belive how much i did not take responsibility in my life I hated myself my life and my relationships they became soo toxic that i Couldn't move in my development work I feel I was going to wors and that was my responsbilty and i did not have enough conscious to recognize that
Absolutely the best self help segment that maybe I have ever seen. I put this up there with Earl Nightingale's "The Strangest Secret." I listen to this at least twice/week, I am a door to door salesman for SolarCity and was experiencing lots of setbacks and didn't realize the problem was I WAS PLAYING THE VICTIM CARD. I still have a tendency to do this which is why I frequent this video. Thank you for your hard work.
Just now realized that rewriting and translating all of your observations made me feel like I'm really healing for the first time.. Compliments from Lithuania.
You are amazing! I totally get what you say. I used to be a victim , now I feel creative and actualized in my life. It took a lot of work, time, and I think also the grace of God was involved🙏😊💕
Leo, i was at the peace stage- i worked all the way up from being a victim. Lately i've had some health issues and bad luck and i felt myself spiraling backwards. Tonight i found this video and its really given me perspective again and i am so grateful!
There is one fault with this, it IS important to give yourself a break and take it easy, so important that i would say it should be 70:30 or 60:40 ratio of massive action and doing fuck all/escapism/intoxication/having fun etc. You cant be too hard on yourself or too serious, sometimes the best way to overcome setbacks and victim thinking is to look at it from a humurous angle. To be a winner in life, to me, is whatever youre doing, no matter how great you are at it and how far you have gone with it, is to be smiling and joking knowing that life is nothing too serious.
Actualized.org Its just another way, works for me as my body/mind gets stressed by pressures which brings back unwanted feelings of anxiety/panic by trying to do too much. I think other highly adrenalised people would relate.
Oli Allan To be clear, taking massive action doesn't have to mean stress. You can take massive action peacefully in baby-steps. This is why habits are so powerful. Jerky action is never massive action. Massive action can only happen over very long, consistently sustained periods of effort. Like running a marathon versus a sprint.
Actualized.org Yeh fair point, and theres no definition of a massive action, a baby step for someone could be a giant leap for another, we're all at different levels like you said. Agree with attaining positive habits.
Thank you for making al of this effort in every single video for us all over the world, and I love that you love it too :) or else you woudn't have done it :) So thank you so much, you spread positve vibes and help so many for every single video that is been watched in all aspects :) Thank you
If you do something wrong then shouldn't you feel guilty? If you do something bad then shouldn't you be punished? I don't understand how you think responsibility won't create feelings of guilt...
0Shane13 Taking responsibility for things that are not yours are very often the cause of guilt and shame. It's really important to recognise what is your responsibilty and what is not, you can then work to let go of what is not yours to carry the burden of. When you take on responsibility for your own stuff the load is lighter, its actually manageable and empowering. Removing blame from the equation will also help. Go easy on yourself.
My husband has been playing the victim for so long that it has made me distant from him. I try to talk to him but he is not willing to admit that he is destroying are relationship. I can't handle the victim mentality and he's also very selfish and angry all the time . Always making insinuations that I have a problem and finding fault in everything I do. I'm a Libra and like to feel in balance and organized and I don't like negative behaviors. I really need to walk away from all this negative blaming behaviors. He wants me to be a victim and be afraid but I refuse to entertain fear and I told him to stop because I don't have a spirit of fear like him. Thank you for your insight on vitim mentality. My glass is always half full...
I'm pretty sure this is by far the best video i've ever seen on youtube. if you really listen and do an honest and shameless self-assessment this video is priceless and can take you a long way if you actually apply this new mindset. i really appreciate it man
This video literally changed my life. Thank you very much. I watched this video more than 6 years ago, I'm sure I would be in jail or killed someone and suicided if I didn't watch this video.
A really helpful journaling excercise to do with this video is to write down all of the areas of your life that you're not taking responsibility and the belief (what you're telling yourself) that is causing you to not take responsibility. Then, come up with solutions.
It took me years of hurt pain and failures to understand all the things you just explained so Clearly! Well done very impressed by the Clarity of your video! Begining to realise I am on the right track!
So EVERYTHING that happens to a person is THEIR responsibility and THEIR fault. ??? So at what point do we hold other people accountable for what they have done to hurt or harm us / others?? Oh, wait a minute... that's also the victim's responsibility, too, right?? In short... this narrative is a back-handed form of "blaming the victim". Of course, It's not the perpetrator's fault... it's ALWAYS the victims fault.
Well, the next time someone punches you in the face for the hell of it... dont blame him. Afterall, its not his fault, its yours for not being smart enough to duck. Look on the bright side... at least your teeth will no longer be stuck in your mouth or in your life. ;)
VredesStall Cheeky, but ask yourself how blaming him benefits you, and also see how it allows you to weasel out of taking responsibility for co-creating the situation. People don't punch you "for the hell of it."
Dude, what the eff are you talking about?? Of course, people have a responsibility to conduct themselves accordingly at all times. I get that. But do you blame a woman for being raped because she dressed provocatively?? Do you think that will give him an excuse or get out of jail for free card??
I understand the levels and concepts. However, at a peaceful state one is most likely to live a monk-based life in America. I have tried to live a calm life as a postal worker and keep to myself but society always attacks. I will probably move to Denmark because I have come to the conclusion that the United States is a cancer. It is not habitable for good people... Or, the good people have to find new intellectual excuses to stay here. I do love your videos. I just find America not worth the time anymore. It's not giving up. It's giving up on America.
I actually had to stop watching this, because it was ridiculously absurd and, frankly, was starting to piss me off. I understand not holding on to a victim mentality, and I completely agree with that. However saying that it's your fault you got rear ended when you were just sitting at a red light is stupid. So if a woman gets raped - that's her fault too? I enjoy several of your other videos, but this one missed the mark so far it's embarrassing.
Tabitha04 he means how you react to the situation is up to you. If you're victim you blame everyone and everything and say pity yourself (poor me attitude) for the accident and expect the whole world's attention /solution but if you're not victim mentality you assess come up with a way forward solution and move on with life.
1) Responsibility and blame are not mutually exclusive. 2) You are responsible for how to react like he states in the video, most like the part you didn't watch. I would also add that you are responsible for whatever trials you encounter. No one else can surmount them for you, they are yours to overcome. Therefore you are responsible for 100% of your trials, regardless if you are to blame for them or not.
You have to check out the other video he made about taking responsibility. He explains that in detail. Responsibility is not what you think. It’s your ability to respond to that situation and how you respond to it.
You are very right about some of the behaviors and beliefs i notice in myself and others. I notice that when my voice tried to talk me out of something, I feel a sense of anger. I ask "why am I saying these things to myself?". When I reject the voice I surprise myself. I do far better than the voice believed I could. If my voice tells me I can't do anything without it, I will remember the times it was wrong. I feel the emotional labor when I do this, and it is powerful. Excellent video.
I watched this after having watched your "How To Deal With Difficult/Toxic People" video. I really needed to hear this as a follow up to cutting that toxic person out of my life. It frustrates me to realize how much power I gave that person over my life and to realize that *I* let that person keep walking over me, *I* therefore allowed myself to continue to be hurt and resentful towards that person for the hurt caused, and that *I* was letting that person continue to have power over me/be a victim/not growing because I was still holding on to it. My red flag was when I heard myself say "I'm not sure how much good it will do now (counseling), as the damage has already been done." What a victim thing to say. I was appalled at the defeatist attitude that I expressed. I want to grow and enjoy hobbies I used to do, and it requires setting aside the control the past and a toxic person has over me and realizing I can walk away and pursue things that are healthy for me and that it is OKAY.
+Actualized.org when you can live in peace with a wife and children thats when ou know you have passed the real test of multi layer actualization.this is the hebrew hassidic mystycal approach of rabbi nachman. being .completly grounded in reality(changing diapers) while at the same time being totally enlightend this would be the next step for you my friend
I just shared this video with my sister with whom I had a very contentious life. By listening to your videos I learned how not to trust my ego. Understanding what my ego was and what to do about it was absolutely the hardest thing for me. Once I grasped that everything else became much easier. Thank you. I’ve learned from many but none were as effective as you. Your passion is Contagious.
Responsibility
Response ability
You control your ability to respond.
YAS queen
シャナ先生 I‘m really sorry to hear that. Hope you‘re doing better now. That must be horrible..
@@TheBitterSarcasmOfMs.Anthropy It doesn't dude. Only in your head. It's totally up to you. Must be super hard to hear, but the truth. Good luck. I believe in you
Absolutely
6:45 - Who is Responsible for quality of your life?
9:23 - What it means to take Responsibility?(Control following 6 areas)
9:40 - Success(Easy)
10:18 - Failures(Difficult)
11:14 - Emotions
12:10 - Accidents
13:51 - Circumstances
14:50 - Relationships
16:00 - Development
19:00 - Model of Development(Victim,Fighter,Creator,Peace)
26:26 - Difference between Blaming and Responsibility
28:40 - Reactions
31:58 - Shift
33:54 - Why person stays Victim.
35:00 - About Leo's being Victim
40:59 - The Scary Part
45:27 - Problem And Solution
47:22 - Importance of Role model/Mentors
48:29 - No Excuses
49:35 - List of Phrases by Victims and Solutions
58:58 - Recap
Thank You Leo.
+Omkar Parab +1
thanks a lot man.
how you created this accurate timings of the video
Phase Nonapp I did not know thanks
thanks alot man
If you liked this video, I recommend you watch these related videos too:
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4) Dream Life - What It Takes To Create An Extraordinary Life
Thank you leo.... You are an immense support ❤
Hey Leo, I find it very impressive that you're able to release videos taken in one single take and still manage to make it very well structured. Amazing comtent as well. Keep doing more!
I just use editing software to cut out the glitches and insert my "fixes"; saves so much time over re-recording (several times) the entire video.
Hey Ultimate!@@UltimateBargains How do you do that? And what do you mean by 'Fixes'?
@@barraman. When I "fix" video or audio, I am recording a new clip and inserting the new clip. I use video editing software, like Camtasia from Techsmith.com
@@MgtowRubicon Nice, thank you ;)
@@barraman. strucure is done beforehand
Love it. I'm 58 and ready to have some peace and let go of the past, one sided relationships, and live the rest of my life intentionally with as much enjoyment as I can. Thank you for a great video. Taking notes and putting them in a folder called LEO.
Good video
Hi Leo. I'm rewatching this video after a year, and realizing how far I've come. Before using your channel, I came to the realization in a therapy session, after learning meditation, that my mind could control so much more than I thought. After ending therapy and continuing to improve myself through self-help I came across your channel. Your work allowed me to go from being a victim to a creator in about three months. I've been using your videos for over a year now and I can't express my gratitude enough. You have single handedly changed my life, drastically, as I'm sure you've done for many. Your mission is beautiful and I only hope others can benefit as much from your knowledge as I am. Thanks again.-Lauren
Sweet! :) Good to see folks getting results.
Same.
Same here Lauren. How are things now? I am three years behind you in self development using Leo's work and after only two years I have left toxic relationships and jobs and gone back to school, attended silent meditation retreats and becoming a Yogi. I am curious how you are doing four years after you wrote this. Still progressing?
@@Hobrecht lol.... yeah. She discovered that she is god and dissapeared into the cosmos.🤣
@@LisaKinoti Hi Lisa! That's amazing to hear :) I've been keeping up with self development. Mindfulness has been something that I've focused on and studied. All I can say is that I've learned there's a tool for dealing with every challenge, and that everyone can go about their journey in their own, gentle way.
My phone died in the middle of this video. I take responsibility for it. I should’ve played it while it was on the charger.
Some (most) phone designs can actually be damaged by being used and charged at the same time.
@@quimblyjones9767 Hell, noooo! I can't believe I've been doing that all the time LOL
LOL
Yes James... you should have charged your phone. 🙂
@Robert Apostu I was laughing at James but later my phone died while I was almost at the end of this Leo video. 😂 😂 😂
Leo you are an absolute genius. I have been playing the victim for so long. I blamed everything on my relationship with my father, my so called depression and so on. I have been constantly wondering why do my friends contact me and then quit talking, why do I do so much for others and no one does anything for me? I don't want to be that person. I don't want to constantly doubt my self worth and in turn play the victim. Your videos have inspired me to stop being a victim and start taking charge of my life. I want to have that upward hill motion and stop plateauing :)
Great!
Hi
Can you please tell me which videos did you watch?.. I'm in similar situation.
Do. Or do not. There is no try.
-Yoda
I feel like the luckiest woman in the world right now simply because I stumbled upon this life altering video. Your words and the way you said them Resonated something deep down in me. I cried and got goosebumps throughout it. May sound dramatic but it’s true. I recently moved from CA to NM, then to TX to help my son and daughter in law with their kids. 3 moves in 3 mos, this was after a difficult breakup. I broke my foot 3 weeks in to all of this. To sum it up, I’ve handled myself poorly a lot, lots of drama with my son and daughter-in-law. I’ve made a lot of mistakes while helping them with their kids. It’s at a critical point. (I am living with them) and my sister recently told me that I need to stop being the victim. I started researching what a victim really was and I am 100% a victim and it was a kick in the teeth when the definition of a victim described me to a tee. So I got on TH-cam and started my journey to self help, and there you were. So thank you Leo, I’m f’ing excited to work on me, and give critical effort on many different aspects of my life. In turn I WILL turn my intense relationships around with my son, and make the move to TX successful for us all. I WILL lose my excess weight, I WILL take Excel courses and get a great job, and lastly I will prepare myself in all ways to finding and keeping a loving healthy relationship. So thanks again for all that you do, don’t ever stop touching the lives of so many. I wish I could hug you. ♥️♥️♥️
*** UPDATE *** I did it, I found a wonderful job in the state of Washington and found an adorable home to rent close to my daughter! I was unhappy in Texas but felt I was stuck there and had no energy to change things. I was depressed, self confidence was shot, and had so many fears and anxieties I had severe insomnia from it, to the point it was making me ill. Watched this video over and over and I’m extremely proud of myself that I traveled over 2400 miles in 5 days with my 10 yr old Persian Simba. I love my new job and Washington is beautiful. My confidence is building back up and my health is improving. Thanks again Leo.
You go gurl :)
I listened for the whole hour - I needed to hear every word. I'm tired of being a victim, a life time negative thinker for 51 yrs and I do want to change. I am! Thank you for your work and I wish you much success.
Goooooood!
you are not a product of life. Life is a product of you. :)
I've been making myself miserable for months now over some old self esteem and anxiety issues and I have to tell you. In one video..this one here..you brought so much home for me! You've helped me to save the most important relationship I've ever been in--the one with myself!! I've not felt this at peace in so long, thank you Leo!!!!!
Glad to be of service :)
+Actualized.org leo I really like your videos it helps me for now when im ready ill try to teach my dad the bad part my dad is always holding on to the past the past doesn't help me when he talks about it
Actualized.org
This really changed my view on life. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for a couple of years, I pity myself everyday saying "What is wrong with me?", "Why did this happen to me?". Today I realise that I have the power to change my thoughts and feelings, to change my state of mind and to change my actions. I realise that there is nothing wrong with me, I just have not put in the effort and massive action towards the life I want to live. I realise today that his will not be easy, however, it will always be worth it in the end. Thank you!
How are things now? Love to hear from you. Thanks
@@leolombardi1534 How about you how are things?
my God you are right, you are so right about massive fucking action . I finally remembered who I am, I'm stuck because I lost my self esteem and confidence in my own abilities. I used to be a really hyper kid who was really very capable. That's who I want to be. I was caught in an emotional trauma as a child and lost my confidence. I was left I'm emotional dump/rut and self loathing. you hit the pin on the head. spot on.
Tommy Chappell ok
anything goes :P
you aren't alone. this guy is great
I feel exactly the same... I'm 27 still with my parents. Honestly nothing seriously wrong with but when you haven't finished school and still delivering pizza at this age. It fucking sucks. I put myself in such a rut/bad habit and never feel like I can ever leave. I still feel like a victim but I've been listening to Leo for a while but I can't seem to act upon what he's been talking about. I've lost all motivation in life and feel useless and empty. I used to be that kid who literally excelled past EVERYONE in my class. Then just like your childhood trauma. My parents always expected so much to the point where I hated doing anything and instantly loss motivation. Although I know my parents have loved me throughout all my life, they were never really 'there' because they would work so much. But nevertheless I hate pointing fingers at my parents because like Leo said, you can't point fingers at others but identify the issues in you and work them through. I got so much work to work on and I really need to work hard on myself. It's so painful as well when shit at your work place goes down and you're also part of it. I still have such a difficult time to even accept what I've done but still I know that all the things I've done are truly my own doing. It's not the fact that it's my fault, truly it is my fault and I accept that. I KNOW that but why can't I act. Why can't I stop whining and complaining about the stupid shit in my life. Why can't I fight and work through the pain. I feel so empty and desolate inside. empty.. I've watched so many of his videos but WHY CAN'T I ACT
Plenty of people in their 30s and 40s feel this way too...like they are constantly grasping at straws and can't get ahead in life.
Find your life purpose, create your dream career.
Check out my comprehensive video course.
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+Actualized.org Thank you for your videos. They have really helped me. I wonder what
your opinion is when it comes to dealing with and moving on from a close
ones death or a nother big loss. Its been many years and i still dont
feel like i have moved on and that somethings wrong. I am curious about
what you think about this topic. Have a good day
I am sorry to hear that and i hope you will be doing better. I am trying a new thing that might work for you If its about the same problem. I do a combination of being sad when I am sad. Not hiding emotions as much as i used to. Combined with "fake it until you make it". meaning, i sometimes pretend i am more confident than i am and i pretend that i feel like hanging out with friends, even when i dont feel like it, until the real feelings come. It takes time and its a lot of work but i think thats better than isolation. The thing that seems to work most for me is owning my sorrow. If I am sad for my dogs death 3 years ago I am going to be sad. I feel so much better not pressuring my self to move on faster because i imagine that my friends think "come on... Its been 3 years. You have to move on". I think I Havent mourn properly since when it happend and instead Ive been victimizing. Google Leos videos about victimizing its a great video. Wish you luck!
+Actualized.org Leo what about Bullying? People who are abusive towards us. Should we laugh at them? That's the only responsible reaction i can think of. lmao
+p pp I am definitely no professional, but it seems like your too worried about giving a response you feel is necessary for the action at hand. Someone is making a gesture at you, which must require a gesture back. The most notable way I find to respond in this situation is to not respond at all. A bad action doesn't require a good balancing action to be settled, and in some cases this will lead to more anger in the bully as they will feel even more incompetent than they already do to be a bully in the first place. Just realize that you have the ability to pick your battles, your bully does not. :)
I really need help. I'm 15 and live in the uk, next year I leave school and I still have no idea what career I want to have. I don't really have any talents and most things tend to bore me after a while, so I'm having trouble with this. Please could you make a video on career choices and making sure that you can pick the right one for us, it would mean ALOT.
It is possible! I took me 3 years to give up clas a drugs,to gain weight from 54 kg to 77kg,to stop smoking,to stop drinking,to become a good chef,to eat healty,to stop drinking coca cola,to fix my teaths(did them today) to respect myself. Is hard changing your life,but after you start wining consistant against yourself,you become friend with you and the amount of power and energy drived by the an infinite filed of motivation makes you feel almost like on drugs but is constant...and is healty! This is my lvl and how i see the world now. Leo thank you for sharing this information with us. And i know i have to work on my english lvl...:)
Awesome! I’m proud of you!:)
Im proud of you bro! But why we gotta win against ourselves always? Its like fighting with ourselves.
You know what? Sometimes I think I don't like you because you say the painful obvious so clearly and deeply. Thank you Leo. ;-)
A friend of mine had sent me this video because of some stuff going on in my life. This has really changed my perspective of myself and my life. Thank you so much for this video!
Your videos helped me a lot. I was a (depressed) victim. YUCK! I like when you said forget the past, forget the future and forget what you know about the world.
Mash Anderson #fucktheego
Yep, its easy and feels good to bitch and complain and leech pity from people. Its hard to to take massive action and do everything in your power to fix your own situation.
That's exactly right. Therein lies the whole problem.
YES!!!!!!!!!
You are in control of whoever you choose to spend your life with, so, while you shouldn't try to change people, you can change whoever you're with.
Considering how pity often comes with an air of superiority (going by Brene Brown's definition), I wonder how it would benefit those who play the victim.
Hey Leo
Just wanted to say that your videos have been a life line for me as of late. It started a couple of months when I was looking for some videos on positive thinking and methods of keeping yourself from drowning in negativity, especially self pity and guilt. Since then I am now on a journey to discover myself and to better myself, and you were one of the catalyst's of that. Thank you for the help you offer to those looking for it.
Good to know :)
+Actualized.org Nothing is good Leo ;)
I used to be victim, especially at work, where I have been for 19 years. But your videos are starting to release me. Thank you so much for making things right. Amazing.
I watched this video two years ago, but I came here to copy the link for one of my friends and I realized I have never expressed my gratitude.
Since I stopped calling myself a victim, I've got so far: I've lost 36 pounds, I've met a wonderful guy who is committed to make me feel beloved every single day and I became so much more open-minded and aware and I progress every single day. Even tho I am really proud of myself, I could never be grateful enough for finding your channel and this particular video, because it is life-changing. Thank you for your hard work!
What I like about you (apart from your hilarious thumbnails) is that you talk self development without getting all woo woo, your comments are tangible and people can go out and implement it and be sure of seeing results. Thumbs up.
What really resonates with me in one of the examples he used in this video is education. He said he used to be bad at academics in high school and turned it around by stop being a victim. Same thing happened to me. I was always very self conscious, and had a defeatest mindset about everything in life. I wasn't good at anything, especially academics. It was the worst in middle school. But after our family moved to America because I was doing so poorly in Korea that I had basically no bright prospects, I was basically failing every subject, except just math. I never associated myself with academics. I was super antisocial as well, I actually have basically no friend to hangout with if I go back to Korea. When I got to America, I made the decision to change my life around. I wanted to start fresh, and create a new me. I decided to stop being a victim. My academic results gradually increased. Now I am at Johns Hopkins majoring in neuroscience / premed with almost a perfect GPA and about to graduate a semester early. Though I have never worked this hard in my life and pushed myself so far, at the end of the day, I always came out happier. Now people around me consider me as the smarter one most of the times. It was a great feeling. I have much more confidence about having control in my life now, though I am not at the "creator" stage yet. but I am not saying that I have reach my full potential yet. Obviously I haven't and I still have a lot of room to improve and I know it. I am not necessarily a completely confident person, just much more than before. I still have my doubts and insecurities, but I hope to conquer it all. I hope to reach that soon with your help. Thanks Leo, you are really doing something impactful and amazing by putting these videos online for us to see. My sister is struggling however. While I skyrocketed, she kind of went into a lower conscious state as the years passed. I hope to help her out as well and allow her to see the truths you share. I hope she can experience the same kind of transition as I had, if not better.
I know this is a 5 years late response but you said you were bad at everything else in academics except math, that doesn't nesscarily mean you were bad at education as a whole, you just probably had a specific special interest in math. In fact, just being more adept at math can already make you smarter then a person who is a either bad at all subjects or just a Jack of all trades but a master of none(the average ideology a lot of schools promote), because math can virtually be applied to nearly every other field of study and you probably would have been a brilliant mathematician or some other math related field like an engineer or programmer. While it can be helpful, I find some of Leo's advice to be a bit too absolutist and simplistic without regards to other variables that influence a situation rather then just a victimhood mentality, such as the genes behind metacognition or theory of mind, which being in neuroscience, you understand. Some people are brilliant or smart individuals like yourself but just arent fortunate to have the same metacognitive skills to know how to utilize it. Good job on you're success.
You are healing my life. Thank You
I'm 18F with an abusive father and no mother. You're my father from now ❤ i loved this videos and all that i ever learned from you. God sent you enlighten lost people like us
I knew I was victimizing myself. Bt was stuck after after the realization..... Thnks for u posted it...
Can you do a video on stop over-thinking and taking things lightly.
Search up mindfulness
ANURAG GUPTA That's what i need too
+StrkR Nice advice. But how to become a complete psychopath?!
ANURAG GUPTA mindfulness meditation my friend
Sad that so many still don't get it after reading some of the comments. I have realized I've been playing the victim my whole life since I was raised by someone who played the victim. Loved this video!!
Dear Leo,with all respects,I believe that you are a Guru.I really appreciate what you are doing with all my heart.I am very fortunate to found you on youtube.
sometimes massive action is being kind to yourself. Stop your usual way of thinking at all times. Check how you're thinking, and change your thoughts. That's been so tough for me, I'm still working in that. Loved the video, love being aware of all the power I hold.
Thanks!!!
being kind to myself very hard for me as well
I listened to this 4 years ago and changed my life. Now I regressed totally and need to go back to base 1. Which is this video, this information. I’m so hopeful again that I’m back at least on the track. If only on the very first peg, no, the “go/stop” sign before the first plank. Thank you.
It's funny actually, I found this video online, realized it was an hour long, watched five minutes of it, and decided I didn't have time to watch it on that particular day. Today, I felt kinda shitty, and I realized that my mindsets are very cyclical. So today, I watched this video, every single second. And I'm so glad I did. I have mental health struggles, and I think a lot of what I struggle with is organizing all of the thoughts in my head, and understanding my problems and faults in a concise and productive way. This video REALLY helped me with that, I can't believe how much of a difference an hour can make. Thank you very much for this video, Leo, I appreciate it :)
Great! Keep watching more videos if they help you that much.
I resonate with this video so much, I feel like I got a deeper understanding of myself with this. Thank you so much.
Factory data reset my brain
Jeramy Bogue lol
What if a girl GOT RAPED? Is she responsible for that?!?
@@cme1447 I think you missed the point of the video.
I have been watching your videos since I found you on TH-cam... I love your videos! I have the same outlook on life that you have. People who know me always keep telling me I am an incredibly strong person to be able to deal with the things I've gone through in life... My answer to these people is that I don't feel like I'm strong, I just work really hard at overcoming, otherwise I could convince myself to give up. Never give up!!! Life is what it is... Either make the best of it and make your own happiness or live it out miserably... Those really are the only two choices... No one but you can make that decision for you. Thank you for being so inspiring! One other thing... I'm sharing your videos because a lot of people think I'm the kind of person who doesn't need inspiration... Guess what!!! I'm constantly looking for inspiration! So, again, thank you so much for all your hard work you put in for all of us out here! No one could ever walk away from one of your videos without something learned!
Watching this again after 4 years, still very insightful regardless of where you are in your current development! 👍 hope you can revisit your older videos Leo at the level you are now.
Same here.
THE BEST SELF HELP TALK EVER. I really admire how you tied the knot of control and self responsibility. Being a philosophically oriented person I need that kind of angle in order to take anyone seriously in regards to topics like these. Take responsibility for everything in life without distinguishing or arguing about which things because in the end in an epistemological way it is in your mind where the stage for these events takes place, and it's up to us to decide even how they take place, and ultimately if we ever get there to realize humbly our place to relinquish control---- my quick summary----masterful, seriously I stayed up listening to this talk it was that good. Have not heard someone connecting such a deeply spiritual idea with such a practical approach. Your talk on anger was awesome too, especially since you do not struggle with deep anger issues like many people, looking forward to learning from you!
Glad it clicked with you :)
I grew up with high intelligence, devotion, passion, opportunity, and drive. I was destined to succeed big time and was the creator. Then insert a megaton of shit into my life, and it finally got the best of me. I dropped my education, exercise, all friendships and traded them for anxiety, ptsd, and depression. Now the financial situation I live in is such that I will loose the roof over my head if I don't turn this boat around. It's like I woke up from a deep sleep several years long as a 26 year old nobody, and it hit me hard. I have watched self help videos before, but they didn't inspire me, sometimes only making me feel more hopeless. Your videos actually speak to me though. I'm not sure where to go with my life now to achieve my dreams, but I know that I must work on myself first. One line in particular was liberating, that the past doesn't exist but in our minds. Thank you so much.
Baby steps. Follow along each week and take babysteps. You can be back on track sooner than you think.
Actualized.org
I hope so. You're certainly right about the baby steps, because this feels like a gigantic undertaking. I'm going to choose to believe I can do it though, which is totally different than what I believed just yesterday. I will be following along, no doubt!
Saving Lenny are you still on track?
Saving Lenny so how are you now ? Lenny saved? am curious...
Saving Lenny Just "force" yourself to watch one of these videos a day. Pick whats specific to you(make a journal,start at day 1). Take notes, write down and ask yourself questions every time he implies something, and most important take some one along in your journey to give you encouragement whither they know it or not. Hang around positive people, join a group of people trying to over come obstacles of sorts wither it be physical,mental, emotional. You could even go to a homeless shelter or a old folks home and try to gain wisdom from the two (to be honest i've never done this before). Just take "Constant" baby steps, watch a channel called "FightMediocrity."He covers a lot of self help books in a few short animated minutes. When you watch Tv, watch something that's impactful. Listen to audiobooks when you cook, crap, clean, drive. On the internet, watch videos of people who do stuff that you wish you could be at. Last and important, Read. Start with the "The Power of Habit" hell i'll buy you a copy if you want, just ask for my email.
Hey Leo,
I just found you looking for meditation videos and I think what you are doing is awesome. You are genuinely passionate about this and care about helping people. I think you've found your calling…I'm so glad you decided to share yourself with the world and touch people's lives…I have been on a path to enlightenment for some time now & look forward to watching more of your stuff…Thanks!!
Ive been watching only two of ur videos every single day morning noon and night. This video and Mastering Emotions (the one about the mental filter...) Amazing how this is helping me already. At first i started feeling hollow as if being a victim is all i had and now that im started to let that go, i began to feel hollow. I realized that i hadnt spent nearly as much time adding beautiful things into my life because i have been so stuck on replaying my victim story! But now im taking responsibility for everything in my life. My emotions, my thoughts and my actions and already i can feel a difference in how i experience my daily life! Thank you. Thank you so much. I will continue to watch these two videos until i have completely memorized them and apply them even more in my life and take responsibility for everything that happens in my life.
This is one of the most powerful videos on the subject of selfempowerment, that I've seen. This is what inspires me to make video's on a regular basis.
This video is so powerfull! I finally.. Finally have the feeling I can use all the energy I have in my body, I always felt something is keeping me back; and I can't grab that energy I naturally have in my body. I just can't discribe how strong this video was for me.
Thank you Leo!
Sweet! :D
One of the only victims in life are those of children because they are almost entirely reliant upon the decisions of their parents
A great video! (as usual)
Now that I know that you have a successful business and that you could do nothing else, I appreciate even more the fact that you make all the effort to help other people. It really shows that you are a self-actualized person. You are the role model I want to follow. Thanks a lot.
Leo, I have watched about 90% of all of your videos and I have to say, this is by far the greatest. I have learnt so much just from this one video! I knew I played the victim in my life for many years and now this video have clarified it for me. Thank you.
Leo, just this morning I was feeling so down and I really think I had hit rock bottom. I'd been watching your videos for a couple days and I was really able to comprehend them, but some of them FREAKED ME OUT. Especially the ones on consiousness, awareness, and how we lie to ourselves. Last night I had terrible, terrible dreams and I made an appointment with my therapist for tomorrow morning with a plan to ask to be put on medication. Then I watched your video on self acceptance and I got it. Up until then, the idea of personal development, for me, felt selfish and confusing and made me afraid it would only negatively affect my relationships and my music and how I view people. Even after watching it, I was still struggling pretty intensely, but I'm not even finished with this video and I can already tell you that I am on my way to turning my life around. I am 19 years old and I am so thankful to have found you when I did. I can't even describe how warped and twisted and dark my thinking has been the last few days and I really have been pointing fingers everywhere but on me. I want to be happy and I want to know my mind and I am willing to commit myself to personal development. I know this journey is going to be intense and I know I will struggle, but I'm ready for that. I drew the line and I stepped over it. The fear that remains with me is that I will lose people in my life right now that, even though they can be toxic, I still care for them and want them around. If you could give me some ideas of what videos may help me with unconditional love of others, it would be greatly appreciated. I cannot thank you enough for sharing this information and doing what you do. THANK YOU.
Thank you for the paradigm shift in my life.
Hi Leo! I want to thank myself that I found this video and you for making it!! I bought the life purpose curse from your website and Im in the part of 100% responsibillity and I took this video as a complement of the video in the course and as a lecture in a class :) my native language is spanish but I can understand everything you say in terms of that part and in content. I hope you have a great day!
+estefania ortiz lopez Cool, enjoy the course.
Dude, you are absolutely freaking awesome. Thanks for taking the time to make these videos!!
I need to let go of my past. This video made me realize that It's not dragging me down, it's me not accepting it and moving on.
Hi Leo this is such a awaking for me. I am so glad that I watched this I was a victim I know its going to be hard but I will get there. I hear so much about being to old age is just a number you are never to old to learn something new. Look after yourself and stay safe
Things do not affect your thoughts, your thoughts affect things.
liar
It really depends on the situation. None of us have ultimate power and therefore none of us have 100% control over our lives - that being said, in regards to logical absolutes, none of us have %0 control over our lives either. The very state of being alive is the ability to interact in our environment (regardless of the amount). Whether we are defined as a "victim" or not would depend on what state you're comparing that state to on the spectrum. Stop being the victim always means to make the absolute most out of the unchangeable situations you were given by making positive changes in the difficult but changeable situations you can control.
If you want to "stop being a victim" start with the small but positive changes you can make in your life. Set a small goal and then reward yourself by accomplishing it. Break your previous record the next goal you make. Make it a game - the overwhelming and horrible aspects in the plight of your life can easily turn into a fun game you play where "the points you score" turn into real life improvements. The math will add up pretty quickly if you keep at it.
Any of you enjoy video games? play Age of Mythology with your life.
QMTOGR I like your comment
listen to what he's saying properly, Don't be a victim!!!
At first, especially when you stated that getting in an accident is your responsibility, I almost clicked the video away irritated by that "BS". Well, thank god I didn't. Turned out, you had a 100% true and logical explanation that a victim like myself is too scared to admit, because collapsing in tears, thinking about how unfair life is and how tired I'm of this shit has unfortunately become my default getaway and thus it is MUCH easier than pulling myself together and figuring out an appropriate positive response.
Thank you!
Good work. Keep at it.
Same. I was annoyed too, but you are still responsible for fixing the problem after the fact - eg, you need to contact the police and the insurance company to deal with the house burglary. Sometimes also, if you look deep, sometimes you voluntarily “invited the vampire” into your life.
I just wanted to say, that this video has changed my life. I watched it yesterday evening and learned something about myself which was very prolific. Thank you from the bottom of my heart - not only am I a subscriber, but I'm also looking to becoming a student of yours. I've taken back control of my life and the rebuild and action starts today. Thank you !
This has got to be the most enlightening video I have ever seen and listened to. An absolute gem of advice. I am well on my way to being at peace now. Thank you, Leo.
Thank you so much for this video, Leo. I'm not usually one to leave a comment, but now I just have to. This must be one of the most powerful self-help messages I've heard, and I've been quite a self-help junkie for years. I already know this will change my life, even though I just finished watching :) I can't even begin to tell how happy I'm to have stumbled upon this video! Thank you thank you thank you. You are a wise man.
Cool, make it count.
thank you leo, this video has been life-changing for me on this blessed day...thank you
I swear I'm nowhere where this man is mentally and emotionally but he has has helped me so much. Sometimes I fail but I keep trying and I'm at a point in my life where I remember what he says and I calm down. I go back to my happy place. I'm responsible for how I feel. I have no control over others actions
Before listening to this, I had no clue I had a victim mentality towards my education - now it’s obvious that I had, and it’s so hard to realize how blinded I was before.. my only way forward is to cut all the bs, to take that massive action, and just f complete my studies. No more whining and laziness. It’s on my own hands. Thanks Leo.
This is the best video I have seen on youtube.
You are changing my life every video. Thank you.
Fucking gold
I had seen this video 5-6 months a go I guess. I was a half a victim and half a fighter, then a good fighter. Now, after months, I can surely say I can feel a very strong sense of possibility of being a creator, so so so strong. I'm having a gradual growth towards creator, can see details. I wanna thank you from all my heart. However there're lots of other people like you as well who have helped lifting myself up. I'm thankful for having them around too. Thanks.
Thank you for helping me to end my victim mentality and take more responsibility for my life!
I take full creative responsibility for my life starting right now😊
Thank you so very much. Inspired. Alhamdhullilah. God bless.
I have been crying a victim for minus 4 short of 2 decades.
leo im crying thanks for everything you give for free you change my life ive been Depressed and stuck for so long i fucking hate it your vids and advice changes my life i cant belive how much i did not take responsibility in my life I hated myself my life and my relationships they became soo toxic that i Couldn't move in my development work I feel I was going to wors and that was my responsbilty and i did not have enough conscious to recognize that
Absolutely the best self help segment that maybe I have ever seen. I put this up there with Earl Nightingale's "The Strangest Secret." I listen to this at least twice/week, I am a door to door salesman for SolarCity and was experiencing lots of setbacks and didn't realize the problem was I WAS PLAYING THE VICTIM CARD. I still have a tendency to do this which is why I frequent this video. Thank you for your hard work.
This guy goes on and on and on never gets to the point and talks about videos that he does on other topics. He never lands .
+MrNolan710 because its very hard to describe in statements, theres new-once... also fist me daddy
+MrNolan710 Setting precedent is important in explaining something well. What you can't take some time and listen to logic?
thank u so much! this video ignited my passion for life again! i almost cried while watching it! :)
Thank you Leo, I need to take some f#%ing action.
This video kept me on the edge of my seat -- my attention focused on every word.
Just now realized that rewriting and translating all of your observations made me feel like I'm really healing for the first time.. Compliments from Lithuania.
Will you make a video about the importance to take action vs theory, how to take action effectively about what you learn etc. ?
I will DO it!
Great video, you really helped me much. Thank you. Greetings from Croatia :)
Maja Martinović jebiga kako ide?
@@barbaricvm0 Ne znam za nju kod mene katastrofa
@@yovanbidenovic4940 Budi strpljiv,sve je u tome da sam shvatiš kako rijesiti problem.Preporucam Jordana Petersona.
You are amazing! I totally get what you say. I used to be a victim , now I feel creative and actualized in my life. It took a lot of work, time, and I think also the grace of God was involved🙏😊💕
Leo, i was at the peace stage- i worked all the way up from being a victim. Lately i've had some health issues and bad luck and i felt myself spiraling backwards. Tonight i found this video and its really given me perspective again and i am so grateful!
There is one fault with this, it IS important to give yourself a break and take it easy, so important that i would say it should be 70:30 or 60:40 ratio of massive action and doing fuck all/escapism/intoxication/having fun etc. You cant be too hard on yourself or too serious, sometimes the best way to overcome setbacks and victim thinking is to look at it from a humurous angle. To be a winner in life, to me, is whatever youre doing, no matter how great you are at it and how far you have gone with it, is to be smiling and joking knowing that life is nothing too serious.
Yes, that can be a good approach, as long as it isn't used as procrastination.
Actualized.org Its just another way, works for me as my body/mind gets stressed by pressures which brings back unwanted feelings of anxiety/panic by trying to do too much. I think other highly adrenalised people would relate.
Oli Allan To be clear, taking massive action doesn't have to mean stress. You can take massive action peacefully in baby-steps. This is why habits are so powerful. Jerky action is never massive action. Massive action can only happen over very long, consistently sustained periods of effort. Like running a marathon versus a sprint.
Actualized.org Yeh fair point, and theres no definition of a massive action, a baby step for someone could be a giant leap for another, we're all at different levels like you said. Agree with attaining positive habits.
Thank you for making al of this effort in every single video for us all over the world, and I love that you love it too :) or else you woudn't have done it :) So thank you so much, you spread positve vibes and help so many for every single video that is been watched in all aspects :) Thank you
My pleasure :)
With responsibility comes blame and guilt...I don't think taking responsibility is the issue. I think having limiting beliefs is the issue.
Guilt and blame has nothing to do with properly taking responsibilty.
If something is your fault (you're responsible) then why wouldn't you feel guilt or shame?
Why should you? Feeling bad only makes the matter worse. Guilt and blame are egoic, low consciousness reactions.
If you do something wrong then shouldn't you feel guilty? If you do something bad then shouldn't you be punished? I don't understand how you think responsibility won't create feelings of guilt...
0Shane13 Taking responsibility for things that are not yours are very often the cause of guilt and shame. It's really important to recognise what is your responsibilty and what is not, you can then work to let go of what is not yours to carry the burden of. When you take on responsibility for your own stuff the load is lighter, its actually manageable and empowering. Removing blame from the equation will also help. Go easy on yourself.
My husband has been playing the victim for so long that it has made me distant from him. I try to talk to him but he is not willing to admit that he is destroying are relationship. I can't handle the victim mentality and he's also very selfish and angry all the time . Always making insinuations that I have a problem and finding fault in everything I do. I'm a Libra and like to feel in balance and organized and I don't like negative behaviors. I really need to walk away from all this negative blaming behaviors. He wants me to be a victim and be afraid but I refuse to entertain fear and I told him to stop because I don't have a spirit of fear like him. Thank you for your insight on vitim mentality. My glass is always half full...
I'm pretty sure this is by far the best video i've ever seen on youtube. if you really listen and do an honest and shameless self-assessment this video is priceless and can take you a long way if you actually apply this new mindset. i really appreciate it man
This video literally changed my life. Thank you very much. I watched this video more than 6 years ago, I'm sure I would be in jail or killed someone and suicided if I didn't watch this video.
You are my idol really. I really love your videos
Massive fucking action 👌🏻💯
A really helpful journaling excercise to do with this video is to write down all of the areas of your life that you're not taking responsibility and the belief (what you're telling yourself) that is causing you to not take responsibility. Then, come up with solutions.
It took me years of hurt pain and failures to understand all the things you just explained so Clearly! Well done very impressed by the Clarity of your video! Begining to realise I am on the right track!
So EVERYTHING that happens to a person is THEIR responsibility and THEIR fault. ???
So at what point do we hold other people accountable for what they have done
to hurt or harm us / others??
Oh, wait a minute... that's also the victim's responsibility, too, right??
In short... this narrative is a back-handed form of "blaming the victim".
Of course, It's not the perpetrator's fault... it's ALWAYS the victims fault.
Ask yourself why you need to fault anyone in the first place. That's just an ego game which keeps you stuck in life. See it for what it is.
Well, the next time someone punches you in the face for the hell of it... dont blame him. Afterall, its not his fault, its yours for not being smart enough to duck. Look on the bright side... at least your teeth will no longer be stuck in your mouth or in your life. ;)
VredesStall Cheeky, but ask yourself how blaming him benefits you, and also see how it allows you to weasel out of taking responsibility for co-creating the situation. People don't punch you "for the hell of it."
Dude, what the eff are you talking about?? Of course, people have a responsibility to conduct themselves accordingly at all times. I get that. But do you blame a woman for being raped because she dressed provocatively?? Do you think that will give him an excuse or get out of jail for free card??
VredesStall Youre responsible for your reaction to things that happen. That's the key that I think he's putting forward
I understand the levels and concepts. However, at a peaceful state one is most likely to live a monk-based life in America. I have tried to live a calm life as a postal worker and keep to myself but society always attacks. I will probably move to Denmark because I have come to the conclusion that the United States is a cancer. It is not habitable for good people... Or, the good people have to find new intellectual excuses to stay here. I do love your videos. I just find America not worth the time anymore. It's not giving up. It's giving up on America.
I'm in Denmark. If you could pull it off, go for it. Anywhere in Scandinavia, for that matter.
I actually had to stop watching this, because it was ridiculously absurd and, frankly, was starting to piss me off. I understand not holding on to a victim mentality, and I completely agree with that. However saying that it's your fault you got rear ended when you were just sitting at a red light is stupid. So if a woman gets raped - that's her fault too? I enjoy several of your other videos, but this one missed the mark so far it's embarrassing.
Tabitha04 damn you are soo stupid its insane :) leo explained what he meant about responsibility go back and watch video again victim
Tabitha04 he means how you react to the situation is up to you. If you're victim you blame everyone and everything and say pity yourself (poor me attitude) for the accident and expect the whole world's attention /solution but if you're not victim mentality you assess come up with a way forward solution and move on with life.
1) Responsibility and blame are not mutually exclusive. 2) You are responsible for how to react like he states in the video, most like the part you didn't watch. I would also add that you are responsible for whatever trials you encounter. No one else can surmount them for you, they are yours to overcome. Therefore you are responsible for 100% of your trials, regardless if you are to blame for them or not.
You have to check out the other video he made about taking responsibility. He explains that in detail. Responsibility is not what you think. It’s your ability to respond to that situation and how you respond to it.
That further proves your victim complex. Had you watched all the way through, he never said it was your fault
You are very right about some of the behaviors and beliefs i notice in myself and others. I notice that when my voice tried to talk me out of something, I feel a sense of anger. I ask "why am I saying these things to myself?". When I reject the voice I surprise myself. I do far better than the voice believed I could. If my voice tells me I can't do anything without it, I will remember the times it was wrong. I feel the emotional labor when I do this, and it is powerful. Excellent video.
I watched this after having watched your "How To Deal With Difficult/Toxic People" video. I really needed to hear this as a follow up to cutting that toxic person out of my life. It frustrates me to realize how much power I gave that person over my life and to realize that *I* let that person keep walking over me, *I* therefore allowed myself to continue to be hurt and resentful towards that person for the hurt caused, and that *I* was letting that person continue to have power over me/be a victim/not growing because I was still holding on to it.
My red flag was when I heard myself say "I'm not sure how much good it will do now (counseling), as the damage has already been done." What a victim thing to say. I was appalled at the defeatist attitude that I expressed. I want to grow and enjoy hobbies I used to do, and it requires setting aside the control the past and a toxic person has over me and realizing I can walk away and pursue things that are healthy for me and that it is OKAY.
Léo are you married?
No
Actualized.org you should marry a great girl ;)
+river water or maybe it's not necessary to get married
hugofat C'mon, a great guy like him should marry a great awesome girl :D or not !!!
+Actualized.org
when you can live in peace with a wife and children thats when ou know you have passed the real test of multi layer actualization.this is the hebrew hassidic mystycal approach of rabbi nachman. being .completly grounded in reality(changing diapers) while at the same time being totally enlightend
this would be the next step for you my friend
I just shared this video with my sister with whom I had a very contentious life. By listening to your videos I learned how not to trust my ego. Understanding what my ego was and what to do about it was absolutely the hardest thing for me. Once I grasped that everything else became much easier. Thank you. I’ve learned from many but none were as effective as you. Your passion is Contagious.