@@matman000000 unfortunately Melanie's mother was so wracked with grief she also took her own life. So sad that more people would die because of someone so dull 😔
Not really, this is more "I should be doing good because somebody gave their life for me", survivors guilt is "why did I die? He was the hero, he should've lived instead of me". The former is the aftermath of the latter
@@yasininn76 I think both definitions fall under survivor's guilt, because they both dwell on the concept of believing you've done something wrong by surviving a tragic event when others did not.
This randomly showed up for me to watch.... 12 years later... Anyone else?? EDIT: THANKS FOR THE LIKES!! MOST I'VE EVER HAD!! WELCOME TO THE VIDEO EVERYONE 12 YEARS LATER 😂
Technically, a partial contribution to a single life-saving incident would count. So if you made that 911 call on behalf of a passed-out, non-responsive junkie or wino at the subway station, you’re still in the black.
@OscarDeltaSierra Or if you have one additional child over what you planned, we as a nation will call it even... BUT that child must be named Sam (may be boy or girl).
I love how this skit didn’t even bother taking a minute of more routine dialogue to get warmed up and set the stage. It just launched straight into brutally roasting this gal and never let up, only doubling down and laying it on thick! 😂
And the world would be +1 hero and -1 unimpressive teen, average student, and once a year grandparents caller. Tell your brother that we salute him, and to choose wisely!
In a way, this kind of happened to me. I am disabled now and I was forced to retire after I was injured rescuing a co-worker, many years back. He turned out to be a real prick and ghosted me. Makes me feel like I gave up everything for nothing.
@@Harry64278 it's actually worse... a good friend of mine ended up with a slipped disc in his back from the same event, so he was nearly crippled too. The guy we saved had minor cuts and bruises
Heck, I am sorry about that :(( I can’t imagine what you might feel, but I don’t think it was for nothing - you showed yourself to be a wonderful and selfless human being.
Melanie went on to get her degree in journalism, finally getting a job as a web journalist Columbus, Ohio. Had two kids with a coworker. Still is a Net Loss
My uncle was a firefighter who died in 911, and I found this video to be HILARIOUS! Lighten up people, it's just some good old fashion satire. I'm not even sure how you can interpret this as disrespectful towards firefighters, the whole point of this clip is to mock this girl more than anything. I don't think people would find it tasteless if it were someone else who died in the fire instead.
@@Jack-zs2yd Look at the dates. Telling someone to "stop talking" NINE YEARS after they commented makes no sense. They've probably long forgotten about this comment anyway.
@@kyuubinaruto17 What?! The comment he replied to was from 5 months ago. Would have only been 2 when you commented. Talk about taking your own advice.
*ridiculous* You mean hilarious, right? lol because that would mean there’s some entertaining comments we can now read and it’s brought to us by the stupid people who thought they’re being cute lol 😅
Yes, this pseudo-mathematical approach to ethics where positive things can magically cancel out negative things in some kind of moral calculus is absurd.
A firefighter didn't save her life so she could live with a guilt for the rest of her life. She wouldn't need to become god knows who or save another life. I know this video is a joke obviously.
I used to work security at a luxury high-rise complex inhabited by lots of wealthy and busy white-collar workers. We had a lot of incidents that tripped the fire alarms- usually burst sprinkler pipes in the winter, or residents venting the smoke from burning toast into the corridors by opening their apartment doors- and about 80% of residents would refuse to come downstairs during fire alarms because they had conference calls or whatever at work, or just got tired of taking the stairs down. After a few of these incidents, I finally lost it and sent a very pointed e-mail to the whole building, saying essentially (in slightly more polite and diplomatic words), “I do NOT want to see any of our local firefighters die rescuing your stupid, selfish ass from the tenth floor because you thought your conference call was more important than the lives of first responders, so you will ALWAYS take these alarms seriously and act accordingly”.
Shoulda sent an email to the shitty apartment owners that can’t provide simple ventilation or insulation for what’s supposed to be a luxury high rise. Having lived in apartments where the fire alarms go off 24/7 and for some reason never alerted the fire department I called 911 every single time it went off (it was always some stupid bullshit like bad ventilation). By the 20th call the complex was getting fined left and right and finally fixed their stupid system
@@scottieb6442 Hahahahaha 😂 genius. This wouldn't work if everyone did it though. It would probably put too much stress on the system and would prevent real fires from being put out but I don't know I've never heard of anyone else doing that; although I do believe that some places alert firefighters immediately when a drill goes off outside of an alarm, like colleges.
Sounds like the fire alarms being faulty is the bigger problem here. Of course 80% of the residents will stop taking the alarms seriously if they get falsely set off as frequently as they did. If I lived there, I too would consider my work conference to be more important than evacuating the building because someone burnt their toast.
I mean when I was in Highschool people pulled the fire alarm all the time thinking if it was somewhat funny the first time it would be funnier or because they smoked in the bathroom the 2nd 4th 22nd 34th etc after that we pretty much gave up going outside just stand around come back and find out nothing happened you're less likely to take it seriously
it's been nearly 13 years and we haven't heard of any heroic deeds by melanie. safe to say, and i'm sorry to be the one to break it, but it seems it really was a net loss.
Man why this one not appear on the oniono official channel, this is hilarious 😂 . Make me wonder how many videos don't appear on the official channel. This is also a jab to the current society who care only to the 'children' death not adult, even though the adult might have spouse and 'children' that they relied onto (and might much more harder to replace than the 'children').
Well, I don't know if it's the actual reason, but according to another comment it got taken down for seeming disrespectful to actual people that lost their lives in the line of duty.
At first i was thinking it was real. Then as it went on im thinking no real talk show would be that savage. Its like it plays off that american dad episode where francine falls into a well.
I was surprised to see the title and the channel name to be something else than Onion. I had to watch the video just to see if this really wasn't onion 😂
Reminds me of the game Embr (multiplayer firefighting game), in which the people you have to rescue can give you a review from 1-5 stars and flavor text after completing a level. The lower reviews are a hilarious contrast from the gravity of the situation.
You may want to expand your vocabulary, and include words like "satire". Then, of course, you may want to look for "onion news network" in google for a practical example...
"She later took her own life confirming the net loss" - The Onion
That's awful! The firefighter died totally for nothing!
@@suckernaut joke
But hey, at least no one else will have to die because of Melanie
@@matman000000 unfortunately Melanie's mother was so wracked with grief she also took her own life. So sad that more people would die because of someone so dull 😔
@@a.t3415 Goddammit Melanie, even in death you only cause suffering!
This is the perfect representation of survivor's guilt.
Not really, this is more "I should be doing good because somebody gave their life for me", survivors guilt is "why did I die? He was the hero, he should've lived instead of me". The former is the aftermath of the latter
@@yasininn76 this is literally the book definition of survivors guilt lol. bfr
@@yasininn76 I think both definitions fall under survivor's guilt, because they both dwell on the concept of believing you've done something wrong by surviving a tragic event when others did not.
Is this satire? I can’t tell if they are joking or not
@@keithchongyuctss5229 Yes, this is satire. The Onion is a satirical news broadcast, and some of their content is pretty hilarious.
It’s now her responsibility to step up and become a father to his children
word bro
And also a loving husband to his wife.
She should get a sex change and get testosterone shots and man up!!
And loving banger to his blonde babysitter.
@@AK-tf3fc are you okay dude ?
Even though the girl didn't have as many lines, her facial expressions were brilliant acting.
i felt soooo bad for her
@cend2362 lmao you're not too bright kid. It's staged and fake
@@cend2362😂
I edited this comment, so now what?
@@TheWalkingRed Thats obviously to make it funnier
This randomly showed up for me to watch.... 12 years later... Anyone else??
EDIT: THANKS FOR THE LIKES!! MOST I'VE EVER HAD!!
WELCOME TO THE VIDEO EVERYONE 12 YEARS LATER 😂
lmao same
yup
same
YEP
Sometimes it do be like that
"If you don't save at least one life at some point, it's a net loss!"
This is one of my favorite all-time Onion vids. So funny!
Technically, a partial contribution to a single life-saving incident would count. So if you made that 911 call on behalf of a passed-out, non-responsive junkie or wino at the subway station, you’re still in the black.
Yes. we'll let that slide! :)@@OscarDeltaSierra
@OscarDeltaSierra Or if you have one additional child over what you planned, we as a nation will call it even... BUT that child must be named Sam (may be boy or girl).
It's actually a net neutral
@@nise6699"if you DONT save atleast one other life its a net loss"
i was an embarrasing amount of seconds into this before realising it was as skit...
me too, I thought those guys were being so sh**ty towards her! lol
As soon as i saw it's onion, i knew...
How? It literally shows the Onion logo before the skit even begins lol
@@ninja_tony Never seen the onion logo, as never pay attention to intros!
I have absolutely NO idea why everyone keeps talking about onions so…It doesn’t make a difference to me…
I love how this skit didn’t even bother taking a minute of more routine dialogue to get warmed up and set the stage. It just launched straight into brutally roasting this gal and never let up, only doubling down and laying it on thick! 😂
You might wanna reword that 😭
@@anponmon 💀💀💀💀
@@anponmon crazy how only 10 months later someone clocked that
where is this skit from lol
@@anponmon😂
My brother's a Firefighter. No chance he'd have saved her.
Because he works for a different department.
ha lol
And the world would be +1 hero and -1 unimpressive teen, average student, and once a year grandparents caller. Tell your brother that we salute him, and to choose wisely!
That's a Waterfighter's responsibility anyway.
Had us in the first half
@@LucianDevinethis is a skit news reporter interview.. it’s satire
Now I must know if 27-year-old Melanie has amounted to anything yet.
Then look in the mirror
No
Now identifies as he/him and drinks paint by the pint
@@WotchTheWerldBern oof
@aaabbb-py5xd
that's not how checking up on other people's lives works
In a way, this kind of happened to me. I am disabled now and I was forced to retire after I was injured rescuing a co-worker, many years back. He turned out to be a real prick and ghosted me. Makes me feel like I gave up everything for nothing.
Dam if what you say is true, I’m sorry. Have no idea how that might feel
@@Harry64278 it's actually worse... a good friend of mine ended up with a slipped disc in his back from the same event, so he was nearly crippled too. The guy we saved had minor cuts and bruises
That’s fucked up
Well should have saved yourself lmao
Heck, I am sorry about that :(( I can’t imagine what you might feel, but I don’t think it was for nothing - you showed yourself to be a wonderful and selfless human being.
oh my god the acting is soooo good... the subtle facial expressions and stuff... just perfect
Please don’t use the name of God in vain!
@@kevinbrandon1856 God :u
@@kevinbrandon1856 OH MY GOD!
@@kevinbrandon1856god damn that’s crazy
@@kevinbrandon1856 isn't the name of god yahweh, and "god" is just the position he holds?
I wish they talked to politicians like this
Melanie went on to get her degree in journalism, finally getting a job as a web journalist Columbus, Ohio. Had two kids with a coworker.
Still is a Net Loss
Brought two new lives into world so a net positive. ggwp
@@youtubenightcrawler9571 If you go by quantity not quality.
@@BOBMAN1980 The more kids she has the more chances one of them will save a firefighter's life or becoming a firefighter
@@youtubenightcrawler9571 But also there's more chances that those two kids would cause the death of a other two firefighters in the future.
Journalists are the lowest iq @@BOBMAN1980
"And here in Factzone, we’re going to be charting Melanie’s every misstep."
The Best Part Lol
I love how the algorithm decided to bless us all with this 12 years later
I thought it was real at first. I couldn't believe what I was hearing when he asked if she should've died in the fire over the firefighter.
It’s fake?
Oh nvm I watched the rest and it obv fake
@@MuffinDaMoose post nut clarity
@@MuffinDaMooseit's satire from the onion
@@MuffinDaMoose this isn't fake. this is real satire.
I love the buzzing noise of the light in her silence
Am I the only one had had the TH-cam algorithm take me here 13 years later?
Nope.
@@MathAdam TH-cam: It's time everyone talk about this one.
Only 12
.
You got it 2 days sooner than I did
she later saved a bug thinking that was a life saved
A simple kinda girl she is... she'll never be like him tho. THATS A NET LOSS!!
But… but…
But it was a mosquito, who then passed a fatal case of malaria to Sam's widow. So Melanie is still down 2-1 in the series.
the amount of people who think this is real is crazy
Fr lmao after the first interview question I knew it was a skit
I thought at first this said "Unimpressed" teen, and that would be an entirely different skit!
"He died to save your life."
"Uhh. I suppose."
Me 2 lolol
Same
People will say this is fake, it cleary isnt.
Clearly. Some people wear socially blind glasses though
I'm curious what part of that made it clear it was real.
Ah yes, onion. The best source of real information
@@annieo9468 idk what fake news would air Fridays at 10pm on ifc...
Your just a conspiracy theorist! The onion will keep me safe from your lies
I can confirm. I was there.
He is valuable but then he isn't the Incredibly Sexy Firefighter so maybe go a bit softer on this unimpressive teen
lmao i was thinking the same thing but didnt wanna say it cuz hes dead. only shitty people do that ehhhheh
@@telmesomethinidkthis is a joke video. No one is actually dead from this story lol
@@smeli_ Everyone knows that explaining a joke kills it though.
Oh please, the firefighter was near his 40s, his life has no purpose anymore.
@@lolasdm6959 You're the type of person to return a pet after they're no longer a baby.
I can't even begin to imagine what is going inside the heads of the people who think this is genuine.
there's nothing to imagine because there's nothing going on in there
Well for starters, they would have to memorize their lines
I was trying to comprehend what I was reading on the title - and then video pretty quickly answered to my questions. Pretty funny :D
Same!
My uncle was a firefighter who died in 911, and I found this video to be HILARIOUS! Lighten up people, it's just some good old fashion satire. I'm not even sure how you can interpret this as disrespectful towards firefighters, the whole point of this clip is to mock this girl more than anything. I don't think people would find it tasteless if it were someone else who died in the fire instead.
birdybotshotgun Sorry about your dad
literally nobody is complaining about this, stop talking.
@@gotgunpowder They were, that's why the Onion took down the video from their channel. Stop talking.
@@Jack-zs2yd Look at the dates. Telling someone to "stop talking" NINE YEARS after they commented makes no sense. They've probably long forgotten about this comment anyway.
@@kyuubinaruto17 What?! The comment he replied to was from 5 months ago. Would have only been 2 when you commented. Talk about taking your own advice.
a 20 foot bronze statue in my front yard would be kinda sick ngl
fr
If I ever die in childbirth, this is how I want people to treat my baby
BASED
Damn...Hope you don't have a kid
I’m sure no kid has been blamed for their parents death
Don’t have kids.
You’re a burden on others go away
This is how people talk to me in dreams 💀
This is so well done!
Christ, this hits too close to home. I could relate to this girl.
Have you considered making something of yourself for once so that his sacrifice wasn't in vain?
my ADHD won't let me@@oneofthe12sionmains70
@@oneofthe12sionmains70 hahahhahaha
@@oneofthe12sionmains70yeah I aim to become the man who will give you a new half-sister.
Well, your username indicates you've had TWO lifetimes to justify his sacrifice! 😆😆😆👍
the amount of people who think this is real is kinda ridiculous, but expected.
i got scared for a second
*ridiculous*
You mean hilarious, right? lol because that would mean there’s some entertaining comments we can now read and it’s brought to us by the stupid people who thought they’re being cute lol 😅
Lol ! I thought this was serious for a second, which only made it funnier.
i thought this was real and i was completely shocked
Lmao
This was genuinely really fun to watch, hilarious skit 😂 I wish I came across this sooner
I remember when I was 7 I thought this was real
Actually an important philosophical question raised here
Utilitarianism
Yes, this pseudo-mathematical approach to ethics where positive things can magically cancel out negative things in some kind of moral calculus is absurd.
A firefighter didn't save her life so she could live with a guilt for the rest of her life. She wouldn't need to become god knows who or save another life. I know this video is a joke obviously.
What sophistry is this? What can be gleaned from this satirical Onion vid?
@@miloelite the quantification and valuation of lives and moral actions. Can we assign such measures to these objects?
I love that ONN speaks the truth that no one will
I've got to the point that I can only find classic onion videos that I haven't already seen via random reuploads by other people.
They delete so many, but still have the grabbler video on the official channel
'It's up to you to find out what God wants from you, or else you'd be letting down God himself'
wild
I used to work security at a luxury high-rise complex inhabited by lots of wealthy and busy white-collar workers. We had a lot of incidents that tripped the fire alarms- usually burst sprinkler pipes in the winter, or residents venting the smoke from burning toast into the corridors by opening their apartment doors- and about 80% of residents would refuse to come downstairs during fire alarms because they had conference calls or whatever at work, or just got tired of taking the stairs down.
After a few of these incidents, I finally lost it and sent a very pointed e-mail to the whole building, saying essentially (in slightly more polite and diplomatic words), “I do NOT want to see any of our local firefighters die rescuing your stupid, selfish ass from the tenth floor because you thought your conference call was more important than the lives of first responders, so you will ALWAYS take these alarms seriously and act accordingly”.
Shoulda sent an email to the shitty apartment owners that can’t provide simple ventilation or insulation for what’s supposed to be a luxury high rise.
Having lived in apartments where the fire alarms go off 24/7 and for some reason never alerted the fire department I called 911 every single time it went off (it was always some stupid bullshit like bad ventilation). By the 20th call the complex was getting fined left and right and finally fixed their stupid system
@@scottieb6442 Hahahahaha 😂 genius. This wouldn't work if everyone did it though. It would probably put too much stress on the system and would prevent real fires from being put out but I don't know I've never heard of anyone else doing that; although I do believe that some places alert firefighters immediately when a drill goes off outside of an alarm, like colleges.
Sounds like the fire alarms being faulty is the bigger problem here. Of course 80% of the residents will stop taking the alarms seriously if they get falsely set off as frequently as they did. If I lived there, I too would consider my work conference to be more important than evacuating the building because someone burnt their toast.
I mean when I was in Highschool people pulled the fire alarm all the time thinking if it was somewhat funny the first time it would be funnier or because they smoked in the bathroom the 2nd 4th 22nd 34th etc after that we pretty much gave up going outside just stand around come back and find out nothing happened you're less likely to take it seriously
That last line flew over my head the first time, really perfect cherry on top
Underrated as hell
My favorite part of any Onion sketch is going to the comments to see all the people dumb enough to think this is real
same
This is so Raw AND Spicy.. just like Momma makes them.
Thanks Onion News.
It's been 12 years since this video was released, I can confirm that she went on to become the first female president of Paraguay.
I didn’t realize this was comedy until a minute in😂😂😂 I was like “bro wtf they’ve got NO chill”
Lol from the thumbnail I thought this would be a Dr. Phil episode 💀
It's been 12 years. I really hope that Melanie has made up for the tragic death of Mr. Kelty.
This show needs to be brought back
We all here 12 years later now huh
it took me way too long to figure out this was satire… 😬
I actually thought this was real up until 0:38
Welcome to The Onion 😂😂😂
it's been nearly 13 years and we haven't heard of any heroic deeds by melanie. safe to say, and i'm sorry to be the one to break it, but it seems it really was a net loss.
Isn't she the prime minister of Italy?
Why are the people guilt shaming the woman is this just a skit
Fr
No, it's real. This is just what the world was like 12 years ago.
Actual representation of social media these days.
Man why this one not appear on the oniono official channel, this is hilarious 😂 . Make me wonder how many videos don't appear on the official channel.
This is also a jab to the current society who care only to the 'children' death not adult, even though the adult might have spouse and 'children' that they relied onto (and might much more harder to replace than the 'children').
Was wondering that too.
Well, I don't know if it's the actual reason, but according to another comment it got taken down for seeming disrespectful to actual people that lost their lives in the line of duty.
I miss this series.
randomly getting this recommended 12 years later is very interesting
The Onion's old stuff is amazing.
I love how a lot of the comments don't realize it's satire and got mad at this LOL
I was not expecting this in 2024 😂😂😂
Comedy is still alive and well
omg i've been reading and watching the onion for years and this one still got me. lol
At first i was thinking it was real. Then as it went on im thinking no real talk show would be that savage. Its like it plays off that american dad episode where francine falls into a well.
This is ultrasatire. I feel pity for those who do not get it. :)))
This is like watching the inner dialogue and nightmares of someone with survivors guilt. Both funny and meaningful 😂
Man what kind of questions... Be more careful
how have I missed this fuckin gold
Melanie was such a cute actor in this. She nailed the sad vibe :)
talking about nailing…
She’s 27 now supposedly but just know what you’re insinuating; that’s tied down right now to someone who’s 15 in this video.
@@M3x1colaage of consent is 14 in Germany
@@frag0638for other 14 year olds, anyone above 18 can't mingle with someone under 18.
Melanie will never be the same after this interview😢
Nothing I hate more than being asked a question, then about to answer it before being interrupted with another question.
American Dad S8E7 was about exactly this type of guilt thing.
Was looking for this comment
I knew it was the onion from the title 💀
I was surprised to see the title and the channel name to be something else than Onion. I had to watch the video just to see if this really wasn't onion 😂
How it feels when people ask what you wanna do with your life
When I first clicked on this I didn't see it was the onion lol and I was shocked for a minute.
Your point is taken, but alarms that are frequently tripped without cause will eventually begin to be ignored by people.
I think you responded to the wrong person
Many people getting fooled by The Onion again.
Sometimes helping people is not worth it
"online poll: does melanie seem worth saving to you?" DAMN BRO 💀💀
what is this and why did it showed up after 12 years? and why do i feel like it was a skit..!?
It wasn't!! It's all real!!!
Because it is. The Onion is a satirical news network.
Why don’t they make these news skits anymore ??
That's why you have to ask them before saving a life.
I originally read the title as "unimpressed teen"
Reminds me of the game Embr (multiplayer firefighting game), in which the people you have to rescue can give you a review from 1-5 stars and flavor text after completing a level. The lower reviews are a hilarious contrast from the gravity of the situation.
Why are all the comments from a few days ago when this video was released 12 years ago
The statue on her lawn 😆
We need an update Melanie it’s been 12 years
May God Give Him Rest In Heaven Amen 🙏✝️❤️
Bro I typed up "love letter" and this is what I found
"Guys look at me, this video just got reccomended after 12 years, look at me, look at me." Can you guys shut up this is like half of the comments
EXACTLY
just so anyone isn't confused about whether this is real or not, it's just a skit
Thank you
That's so obvious...
@@Cosmo_P0litan nothing wrong with not knowing something.
@@hrdgms27You're good man, just don't get how you couldn't tell.
@@Cosmo_P0litan yeah but look in the comments, half of them think this is real
Literally my inner talk
Ungrateful girl
😅
This isn’t real 😂
It's satire 😂😂😂
Missed the joke
You may want to expand your vocabulary, and include words like "satire". Then, of course, you may want to look for "onion news network" in google for a practical example...
first reply, 12 years after. how are you now?
@coronatedcobbler this comment was part of a thread, but many years ago TH-cam borked all existing threads so they now show up as standalone comments
@@SuperShado101 wdym bro
so replies -> comments?
@@shark4508 ?
Acting is so good. I literally thought this was real.
Wow. This is a wonderful remarke on news.
Utilitarians be like
Fr, I’m literally not worth the cost of the equipment that would be damaged during the firefighting attempt. Save the expensive equipment.
This is obviously a joke. It shouldn't be.
I thought this was real at first and I was appalled
Bro this was the plot to an American Dad episode 😭😭
I'm glad someone else said this.