@@freelanceryuu unfortunately no, quantum computing has not reached the stability and processing power-to-cost ratio required for commercial applications, which means that quantum encabulator technology is still a bit ahead of what we can do, as the coordination of the nanojumblification of hyperdiamondic septicillia to provide the trinary feedback required for encabulation of that scale needs gargantuan CPU and GPU headroom, which in a machine the size of an apartment flat, only quantum computers are projected to provide.
@@joshuacalkins Our company was recently placed into receivership due to unmitigated loss of prantkens. If only upper management did not underestimate the importance of encabulation!
i like how it went from garbling only technical jargon in the original, to garbling even common words in this one. "the extraordinarily populist turbo encabulator". what a sequel.
I finally got a job with this company! They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
I applied there but YoYoDyne got back to me first for their normative reality physics program. But I'm currently being retubed for side fumbling caniption fits at this company on my next encabulation contract.
@@johnkelly928 what an incredible opportunity! One day I want to work on manufacturing the encabulator’s magneto-reluctants! Can’t wait to see what’s in store next
My girlfriend watched this and she was in tears while laughing. But the tears weren't because of her laughter. She was really confused and felt like she was having a stroke, then when the video ended there was a cyber security ad. It was enough to send her mad. 10/10 video.
"despite zero interest from industry, the SANS ICS security team has taken it upon themselves to develop an entirely new level of encabulation; unresponsive to the needs of the average consumer..." love it.
@@Naotaku That's the proposed necessity for 9th generation encabulation in the 2035 International Encabulation Standard Board's list of items. A team in Switzerland's been working on the theory, but it's still at least a few years away depending on how the Hinwil Institute of Encabulation handles the affair.
I had a roommate once who was going to school for mechanical engineering. He had a track record for being rather pretentious about various things. I showed him this video, with the preface “Basically it’s funny because no one knows what the hell the guy’s talking about” and while watching the video, my roommate’s like “No, I know what he’s talking about. It makes sense. It’s a cool product these guy’s are selling. I couldn’t explain it to you though. It’s too complex.” He didn’t know that an encabulator is literally a fictional thing.
What was so great about the original (and this version to a lesser extent) is that half of the technical word salad does actually mean something. For example: "the relative motion of conductors and fluxes" describes how an electric generator works. Conductive coils move through a magnetic field, and the magnetic flux that flows through the coil is what produces current. Similarly here, "DIN rackable" just means it's designed to fit onto a standard DIN rail (a common feature for industrial electronics). Overall, it's nonsense, but the little snippets of overly complex jargon that actually mean something are always fun to pick up on.
with all the new and exciting features added to the system it's a wonder it doesn't do a shit ton more side fumbling than the early prototypes. pushed hard enough though i'll bet it does some rear fumbling... on paper anyway
My Dad had a Rockwell Retro Encabulator. He kept it in the crawl space under the house. My whole family knew that no matter what happened; it was there.... just in case.
"owing entirely to the manipulation of airborne particulate matter and single-surface reflective devices" Brilliant. I'm going to totally use that to say something is pure "smoke and mirrors" sometime.
@@mikekraft9669 Thank you for making it! I worked at Honeywell IAC around the time that the "Retro Encabulator" came out, so it holds a special place in my heart. I work in cybersecurity now, so the trajectory of encabulation has been weirdly timely for me. 😂😂
I will never, NEVER, hear "Rockwell" without hearing his voice saying "Rockwell Automation's Retro Encabulator" and "the production of Milford Trunnions".
This was invaluable, not just for industry experts, but for the whole family. You know what they say: “The family that encabulates together, effluviates together!”
Years ago, I neglected to metabuff the nangling pins before insertion. It precipitated an unrecoverable non-encapsulation of the preencabulated outputs, resulting in a dingle-arm field breakdown, which as everyone knows, makes it impossible to initialize the cloudbenders. I fixed it by re-reticulating the splines while simultaneously applying a non-Floridian magnetopattern to the stress risers.
I learnt more in this presentation about the unique relation between the total spatial conjecture system and quasi-dynamic limbo loop operation than the 3 years master class i attended at the prestigious UAP Identification institute. I am forever grateful for the enlightenment.
I like the addition of casual malapropisms, as well as the seamless evolution from "Bell Labs"-flavored nonsense to "Silicon Valley"-flavored nonsense. I can't imagine how many takes it took to deliver some of these lines with such a masterfully straight face.
No wonder your process is suffering side fumbling waning in constrapulation of improper encabulations.. you're using water based sideo-sonial deplenerations in a non-hyrdo maliable cardinal-gram structure when a cybernetic dingle based AI matrix is the industry standard to prevent data structures moving through intermodial magneto reluctant fields of flux..
I worked at the company that made the original retroincabulator video. It existed only on a single VHS tape and was played at meetings and classes as an ice breaker. I don't think it was ever intended to go beyond company walls. I'm glad it did. It shows that the company used to have a sense of humor.
@@kevCarrico The Retroencabulator video with this announcer for Rockwell Automation was copywrited in 1997. The Turboencabulator was obviously made before then.
@@farfrohmpupen I'm not sure it was ever copyrighted. Director John Wright shot it at the Allen-Bradley studio in Milwaukee as a joke to put on the end of the December training release for distributors. How it ended up on eBaum's World is still a mystery to me.
@@mikekraft9669 You're probably right; I just noticed the 1997 at the end. I was at that meeting. I nagged the director for a copy the VHS tape and finally got one. Months later, one of my students asked the same of me and when he returned the tape, he gave me a CD with the digital file on it. I notieced sometime later that it was on TH-cam. A funny side story: while the tape was playing, some of the attendees were annoyed at the laughing and giggling. Some actually thought it was a real product and thought we should have a little more respect. That video has done me a great service over the years to wake up the students who just returned from a heavy lunch.
I never understood that TARS was an actual HyperEncabulator actor produced by SANS ICS, now it is clear due to the hydrodynamic genuflection, thanks SANS ICS for your research!!
The fact that this was almost entirely plays on words and phrases instead of just made-up words is absolutely fantastic. I dunno why, but hearing SBOM thrown in there made me happy.
You can tell who actually understands what is happening here. Some will try to reply as if they believe it’s simply a matter of hypersubstition of characters and jibberational non-sequiturs. Their Obtuse nonconformance of the established standard makes it obvious.
We had a challenge when I was an intern at an engineering firm to use language from the original retro encabulator video in our reports to our boss, who was relatively business oriented and non-technical, without giving context to see if he listened and understood anything we were trying to explain to him. I regret to say that I totally broke when I said the thing I was working on was suffering from "Magneto reluctance", which kind of gave the whole thing away. However it's a good test to try on your boss sometime if you think that he doesn't understand anything you do.
New Encabulator technology is great, but the Vinyl Encabulator always has a place in my heart because of it's warmth and horizontally-opposed wainshafts.
How this man can deliver his lines with a totally straight face takes pure talent! I'd have been busting out laughing before the end of the first paragraph.
Some of it seems laughably simple doesn't it! But we have to bear in mind that a lot of people don't know what an encabulator does, let alone a turbo or hyper encabulator!
I never knew the Transcendental Data Hopper Scope used Anhydrous Nangling pins! Truly ahead of its time. Frenetic Mastication changed my families life.
Buy a KLR motorcycle and join the team that has thermobobs, duhickies, and farkles galore. I shit you not, all true terminology to anyone owning one of these machines. Seriously, this is the truth.
Glad to see Mike still getting work from that script! (I worked on the Rockwell piece with him. The note about plagiarism - classic.) What a fantastic update!
You're awesome This update is the next generation's Fitness Gram Pacer Test, and I want to thank you for your part in it I should note, when I read your name the first time, I thought I saw Mike Wazowski I'm gonna dial back on the caffeine
As a McMillan man myself, I always wondered how the encabulator widget coupling enables every flange splicer, every hanging gated flop-hopper and wangle joint to integrate fully with splurge lugs and sprock-noggins while remaining fully compatible with the lipped and unlipped rear-facing winglebobs, and you’d still have enough nubbins left over for a splack-packet.
Bad idea. The manual may not require use of the nubbins but long term exposure of the wobble-phasers to the flop-hoppers can lead to early side-fumble failure and thus replacement of the entire unit. Never skimp on the nubbins.
I’m glad that I ordered the later version with full reverse nullification properties, 10th dimensional exploitation and spurving bearings throughout for higher performance of the dingle arms which ultimately improves calculations such as a parabolic arc through various states of matter at ftl speeds. Nubbins are a bit old school now btw.
Good to know Sans makes the reduction of side fumbling a high priority, especially when you consider the impact it has on postcoital capacitance and the non-barometric wainscoting associated with granmeter synchronization. Well done, Sans!
It is good to know. So many concerns about the side fumbling in previous encabulators. Sure, they thought they had addressed it with the retroencabulator, but we all know better.
“Thomas Edison once said that invention was 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. If that’s the case, Thomas Edison should’ve invented deodorant, but I regress” is another great joke in this along the same lines
I think my favorite thing about this is how the cybersecurity discussion sounds like random words but is largely composed of actual cybersecurity jargon 🤣 couldn’t tell you how coherent it actually is but I recognized a fair bit of it.
A lot of the original turbo encabulator was genuine engineering terminology just all jumbled up and nonsensically used. This is a genuinely brilliant way to make a tribute to that within a different field.
Not sure what you mean by joke, but I still have my grandpa's Turbo Encabulator from 1951. Aside from a little hyper-magnopic surgiance in the auxiliary side transnifters, it still works! 71 years of encabulating!
--Flashback begin [Narrator] The original machine had a base plate of pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with a panometric fan. --End flashback [Narrator] Yes, that was once me. Extolling the virtues of retro-encabulation. Now I may not be the dashing, young on-camera narrator I once was, but if history tells me anything it's that the battle of hastings was fought in 1066. But that's not the point. The point is that encabulation has a rich, sumptuous history with a delicate, flaky crust relatively unknown to emergent cybersecurity personnel. Allow me to elucidate; The discovery of encabulation was quite accidental, when engineers in the skunk works at Mutual Polydynamics coupled a transcendental hopper datoscope with a spiral decommutator via the application of anhydrous nangling pins, resulting in a device that allowed for netic mastication at alarming speeds. The device was kept secret for many years owing to the horrific accident that occurred shortly after its inception, how-some-ever the US Compartment of Offense and The Natural Guard soon realized its potential as a weapon of choice, leading to its next iteration, The "Hydro-Encabulator", which they nicknamed "Fatboy Slim." Understanding the grizzly bear fact of the devastation that would result from its deployment, the project was re-tubed and transmogrified for industrial supplications. This version, known as The "Pseudo-Encabulator" was the infernal, Faustian engine that allowed post-war America to realize its aspirations and become the domino player on the world stage. Everybody was encabulating. --Movie clip begin [Character 1] I don't understand you. [Character 2] Well I knew you wouldn't but if I'd told you before the answer meter on the other side permulates the counter-spell happiness and that's the entire secret there you have it. --Movie clip end [Narrator] During the tumultuous 60s the psycho funkadelic "Vinyl-Encabulator" emerged as the long-haired hippie people's answer to their parents aging technology, scarving a resonance groove in the hot wax of a new generation of encabulators. However, interest in encabulation waned precipitously until the late 80s when the public was ready for the next transubstantiation of encabulation, the extraordinarily populist "Turbo-Encabulator." --Flashback begin [Narrator] Now, basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conducters and fluxes it is produced by the modial interaction of magneto relucatance and capactive directance. --Flashback end [Narrator] Which brings us to where we are today, floundering in the wake of the obscenely similar "Retro-encabulator", featuring yours truly; Living proof that leveraging existing assets is not plagiarism. Now, despite encabulations unparalleled success in reducing sinusoidal depleneration through advanced ding-alarm technology, it has failed to meet the unanticipated needs of the cybersecurity industry to create zero trust operations in level zero monitoring environments to ameliorate zero-day process attacks. That is why, despite zero interest from industry, the SANS ICS Security team has taken it upon themselves to develop an entirely new level of encabulation unresponsive to the needs of the average consumer and undoubtedly without merit in terms on concomitant asynchronous communication with client-side connectivity. Ladies and gentlemen, I-SACs of all sectors beer included, and children of all ages may I present The "Hyper-Encabulator". The Hyper-Encabulator is nothing less than a key ruminant in the advancement of retrograde phenomenology by which we can achieve results that are plastic, spastic, and sinosynclastic without sacrificing both normative reality and AI-informed modalites. You'll note that the Hyper-encabulator utilizes indiscreet modules, making possible virtualized environments that include PLC-controlled, stand-up reheaters as well as retainium-based cloud benders. It also includes a dedicated OT security operations center access panel known as: "The SOC Drawer", The primary modules of the Hyper-Encabulator are stackable, dinrackable, and unhackable and please note the complete abscence of side fumbling owing to the maintenance of tolerances allowing a tight conniption fit. Please take little note of this module: "The Open-Source Digital Ghost Daemon", which allows transparent OT invisibility owing entirely to the manipulation of airborne particulate matter and single surface reflective devices, or for criminal infrastructure sectors where the dependability of sopramet wenosprox is essential. Our handsome ransomware hypervisor is perpetually alert to SQL injections of gates, tracking chips, and quantum IOT identification dots. Moreover, whenever a pen-test is elected to assure the integrity of a safety instrumented system, our purdue model modal module de-feathers and plucks clean every proverbial fox in the hen house and keeps would-be intruders wondering which metaphor got mixed first. As you can see, the Hyper-Encabulator has reached a high level of development whereas previous dissimilar devices operated under the concept of manumatic stressor reduction and macroeconomic supply chain s-bombs, The Hyper-Encabulator operates totally under the principle of colonic effluvium explusion and audible gaseous eruptations. Thomas Edison once said that invention was ten percent inspiration and ninety percent persperation, if that's the case, Thomas Edison should have invented deodorant, but I regress. In the near future, Hyper-encabulation will ultimately replace all traditional cybersecurity safeguarding processes with osculating seqmentation and entropic astrogation, making what was once thought to be impossible, probable. At SANS ICS Security, when we're not innovating, we're encabulating.
This manages to both make fun of the thing and be the thing at the same time. That's really impressive writing. Oh, and it seems much much longer than the 6 minutes it actually is.
> Oh, and it seems much much longer than the 6 minutes it actually is. That's just the fluoroeffective macro-temporal-transposer effect. It shunts time through the Dreyfus Shaft and photo-retrospectively transluminates the effervescent flow.
very cool that rockwell is once again putting effort into encabulation. I know GE's Turboencabulator was a real competitor in this space but this new Hyperencabulator seems like it's going to change the game for encabulation
they sure produce quality products. they havent made an ad since the 80s because everyone instantly jumped on the trend so they didnt sell anymore until now, where we all needed replacements.
I had the privilege of working on the inverse production model of one of these while contraemployed by a defense contractor. We made a lot of alluvial improvements that really helped to transmorphify it's already callipygian abilities. We improved the audible gaseous eruptations by installing a sialoquent mufflometer which resulted in 180% more colonic effluvium expulsion when measured at the pyrogastric obelus. We also found that quintangulating the retainium based cloud benders could boost dactylomegaly in all peristeronic processes when manuductively catillating.
A couple things: 1. I'm happy to know that the side fumbling issue has been completely resolved. I still ran into issues with the previous model around 300 encabulations per second. 2. You claim the primary modules of the hyperencabulator are stackable, dinracklable, and unhackable, but are they also unwhackable? 3. Im glad to see SANS continue to lead the industry in sinusoidal deplenaration with its state of the art dingle arm technology.
I’m a security professional, and the inflagration of the VMS (Vibratron motional system) within the SOC is a big benefit for bipedal phlanges. Awesome. Can’t wait to see the interspace between the mapping for camera call ups too
I'm a little miffed that this new model doesn't have the reiterative phase capitation features that have, traditionally, been bundled with the recombinant viscosity matrix. But, hey, what do I know? I'm just a lawnmower security mechanic that encabulates 60+ hours a week.
I used to work on the retro-encabulator back in the day. I actually was the main designer behind the waneshaft that prevented side-fumbling _and_ a lesser known issue, overderactance through the involuntary rewriting of the hexaflop CPU. There were many casualties that stemmed from overderactance but rockwell silenced all of the press about it to keep profits high and production numbers up.
Glad to see that care is still taken to prevent side fumbling in the modern digital models. Even with the reduced number of mechanical components, fumbling can still cause gradual wear to the spurving bearings and throw the panametric fan askilter, so maintaining a tight kaniption fit is essential.
@@UrsaMajorPrimeYeah, the idea of coupling the parametric fan directly to the Ander’s vibromatrix was really a work of genius. With no marzel vanes the margin of error to prevent it from going askilter in a slide fumble cascade is actually paratabulatable!
I really didn't think we needed an upgrade. I'm still using my retro encabulator and it works fine although not all side fumbling is not prevented. I guess it's finally time to upgrade!
@@InternationalGriffin The soon-to-be-released NanoEncabulator (not visible to the naked eye) may be more to your liking. It's there, but nobody knows it.
youall noticeed too. its a artifact. a human should of watched it before release. that's a common glitch. cause he didnt talk like that before , when he was young. odd .Nova should fix it
this literally answered all questions i had about encabulation - and they even included the piece about side-fumbling! Impressive, this product will take humanity into the next age
If that is a question you have to ask, you don't understand encabultation. Like space, encabulation is everywhere at once. You only have to harness its potential.
As a member of a cybersecurity team, we actually tried to implement the HyperEncabulator a few weeks back, but we just couldn't get it working. We had problems with penetration and even tried using SOAP to help ease it through the firewall, but it just got stuck in the sock, what a mess. I think it was due to the fact that you need to maintain a bit of side fumbling to allow for easier entry into the proper port. In any event, we're just going try latter. We need a break after blowing out the WAP.
I still use my retroencabulator to this day! I would say, “they don’t make ‘em like they used to”, but honestly I’m really looking forward to upgrading to the new hyperencabulator. The encabulation protocols in the sub-0 level offered by this new breakthrough tech is going to really shift the market.
I heard that you can marblate the movable retrograde spinatrons without intracussive spallups messing up your encabulation.. totally worth the upgrade if that's true..
@@rsrt6910 I thought so too at first, but now I really miss the gentle rending squeal of the old hydrocoptic marzlevanes. These new ones just make weird, sonorous graculations.
@@Panicagq2 If I was still just encabulating the occasional antifugable regradiations for friends and family I'd definitely keep my old retroencabulator. The sound of the pentametric fan really made you FEEL the encabulation. Unfortunately, I'm increating more and more transfusilation in my encabulations and I can't spend as much time clearing reclusivated asmotium from the spurving bearings anymore.
Hopefully, we will be able to produce spurving bearings as one off productions that can meld insynchronously through hyperflygation, as per the Hanz-Ganstrom effect demonstrated during the first transfular escapilations test. I'm really tired of trying to find sets of spurving bearings that were created with the same quanta as the oscilating hysker flange. These parts are becoming more and more antique, and I worry that I won't be able to teach my grandchildren about encabulation once we run out of spurving bearing sets manufactured in the same batch of quanta. I've tried using mismatched bearings from eastern europe in the past, but they fail to achieve the proper magnetic resonance. I tried using an old torque converter as a sort of quanta buffer to alleviate the transmoidal stress, but even when I transfer casings in a pure nitrogen environment, the EMGL-7 particles still manage to escape before I can harness their energy in the quanta cloud. I'm trying to sell some of my old VX gallium sublimation rigs to hopefully be able to buy one of these new HyperEncabulators, but the market just isn't there right now.... Thanks Biden.
@@Jarl_Thidrandi I probably shouldn’t mention this as it’s technically classified, but… just so you know, the USG has stockpiled enough spurving bearings to last until your grandchildren’s grandchildren, perhaps longer. They have warehouses full of em.
I was amazed that you were able to make anything as complicated as anything at all produced by Rockwell Software as simplified as the first video. Now, just when I thought nobody would take a vicious stab at distilling IT/OT securitizing normanclature, here you are again. Not all heroes wear capes!
I remember when my father bought an encabulator back in 1984. It was the model 86, the most common model that pretty much every household had at some point. My dad used it to invest in the stock market and iron his tie. I used it to do my homework and play tabletop games with my friends. My mom used it to make coffee, but as this was a home model it did have side fumbling, which led to the occasionally infrequent caffeinated spillage. It was the best money my father ever spent as it lasted us until 2008, at which point it was heavily outdated. Sure it wasn't the industrial version as used by incorporated corporations, but it served us well. I never knew they were on the mass market in the 50s, I always figured they reached the home market in the early 80s, or possibly very late 70s. Glad to see rockwell automations legacy continue on into the future.
You hang on to that with your life, the 82 to 87 models have the best transmoidal stress transfer stagings, and I've heard they don't require the more expensive spurving bearings manufactured in the same quanta as the oscilation hysker flanges. You can buy the singular production spurving bearings they made in eastern europe before the wall fell, and those are a fraction of the price since they do not require allignment of the magnetic resonance tube to capture the EMGL-7 particles. They would simply cure them in a pool of sigmoidal nuetron gel, which was then exposed to a nuetronic doping beam and the particles would meld with the outer 1/17th, rather than being "kelvin baked" into the very atomic structure at absolute 0, like the more expensive spurving bearings of the west. They might not last as long, but you do not need matching sets to achieve magnetic resonance.
I remember those early low-spec encabulator configurations which weren't equipped with side fumbling stabilizers. Lost a good colleague to a spatial coffee anomaly, fumbling stabilizers should have been stock equipment and not a high-spec option. Machine made good coffee though, so I can't really complain.
This is everything I could have hoped for in a sequel. Well done. Not sure how he held a straight face through all that. It was so seamless it sounded like one take.
As a young Julliard trained engineer in the sixties, calibrating one of these was my first job at Rockwell. It was the size of a room, amazing that we can all carry one now in our pockets.
Newer models do retain a variety of original features such as the 'Selective Quantitative Kinetic Detection Relay' or 'Squeaky Door' as it's referred to in the Encabulation community.
The constant change on subject matter kept me disoriented during the whole thing, my brain was struggling to pin point what this was about. This is masterfully written and the delivery is top notch.
I didn't think it was possible to improve on perfection but here we are; ICS leading the way towards the UltraEncabulator, once only dreamed about. What a time to be alive! ...and I can only imagine what the outtakes look like for videos about encabulation.
My boss and i were arguing whether or not encabulation was even used anymore. He didnt think so even though his uncle was a welder on the retrograde discandescence chambers they used at the time. I just won 50 bucks and found out theyre not only still a thing, im also really excited to see what hyper encabulation will do to increase the precision of an already essential technology.
I've been following encabulators for quite some time, I'm very pleased with the new iteration. Although I will miss the retro encabulator I believe the Hyper encabulator will meet all my future encabulation needs.
I was actually wondering how encabulators adopted to the digital age. Wouldn't have thought of CyberSec but now that I've seen it, it does make a lot of sense.
Thanks for that invention, it's quite a hassle to connect the old TurboEncabulator to the SQL datascope nangling pins, because of the ongoing postcodial capacitance issue with the SOC drawer. Also good to know that side fumbling is effectively decreased. - Well done SANS ICS!
This is music to my ears! I used to play one of those, in a rock band, back in the 90s, before all the big industry players, switched to Franistat based oscillators, with better frequency stability. Reminds me of a saying we had back then... "You can tune a fish, but you can't tune a HyperEncabulator", LOL
This is clearly shifting encabulation to the next level. As the market leader SANS is constantly unleashing unrivaled leading edge technology, even under harsh or adverse conditions. And it’s mil spec’d. I need one.
I was working on a similar process to mobilize this technology with portable veeblefetzers, but I was using a home-built model, a left-handed one with the belt in the back.
I repurposed my retro vinyl encabulator for just such an occasion. Unfortunately the dingle arm attachment was insufficient to mitigate the sinusoidal deplanaration.
Whoa there cowboy. If youre facing deplenurization of trunnion girdles you better check for sinusoidal side fumbling in the lunar weng shaft. And as always, lubricate your sliphole before and gripjiggy and it should want to stay planerized with the reluctance standoffs. Otherwise the piston return spring will interfere with the muffler bearing and send the spirving arm straight through the amulite casing. And I dont have to tell you how bad that can be for your dingle alignment. Damn near impossible to get it back under USDWM spec after that, at least in the summer. Kiss that yellow sticker good bye for at least 6 months until they salt the roads again and you can do a proper calibration. Unless of course you have the limited semiboloid vacuum distribution assisted framistats....But whos got THAT kind of money?!?!
My favorite feature of the retro encabulator was the elimination of side fumbling. I’ve been a happy camper ever since! I’m going to tell my manager about this new model though, I think they’ll love the new sock drawer.
It's nice to see that the developers heeded the advice of the Tempest fan club and included it in the Hyper version. I've been on the fence for a while, wanting, but not really needing emcabulation technology in my line of gorilla dust forensics, but that pesky Tempestlessness was always the deal breaker. Finally!
Cannot wait for the Quantum Encabulator.
🤫🤫🤫
If there is a god, that video will be narrated by Michio Kaku.
Does it have a release date?
@@freelanceryuu unfortunately no, quantum computing has not reached the stability and processing power-to-cost ratio required for commercial applications, which means that quantum encabulator technology is still a bit ahead of what we can do, as the coordination of the nanojumblification of hyperdiamondic septicillia to provide the trinary feedback required for encabulation of that scale needs gargantuan CPU and GPU headroom, which in a machine the size of an apartment flat, only quantum computers are projected to provide.
It does and it doesn’t
"unresponsive to the needs of the average consumer". The perfect business.
Very progressive, up with the times for sure.
"If history tells me anything, it's that the Battle of Hastings was fought in 1066" utterly encabluated me
This is probably the best non sequitur I've ever heard.
@@FearNoMan0311 This was on the level of a line from the movie Airplane.
I'm so encabluated I can't speak
"But that's not important right now."
That’s like a Leslie-Nielsen level pun!
“Stackable, dimrackable and unhackable” , my lord, so good
DIN-rackable I think
Yeah I am selling everything I own and investing in this great company tomorrow
"We can achive results that are plastic, spastic and sinosinclastic."
💀💀💀
@@ellenorbjornsdottir1166 yes it was din rackable making a play on Din Rails which is used for mounting industrial control components including PLC's.
This was the sequel that the world never expected but needed more than anything. 10/10
LOL!
so glad you like it!
Now more than ever! Because every second can mean lost prantkens!
@@joshuacalkins Our company was recently placed into receivership due to unmitigated loss of prantkens. If only upper management did not underestimate the importance of encabulation!
i like how it went from garbling only technical jargon in the original, to garbling even common words in this one. "the extraordinarily populist turbo encabulator". what a sequel.
"US Compartment of Offence and Natural Guard".
Fantastic
Some of the intentional mispronunciations were funny. Reminds me of that old gangster trope where they keep mispronouncing words.
I'd like to join The Natural Guard.
@@michaelbauers8800 ...but i regress...
At that line I just about choked, fantastic. Those are plausible departments in a whack-job government and I love it.
@@SayAhh They have strict physique requirements. That’s critical for any fighting force going “au naturel.” 😉
I finally got a job with this company!
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
I applied there but YoYoDyne got back to me first for their normative reality physics program. But I'm currently being retubed for side fumbling caniption fits at this company on my next encabulation contract.
That's fantastic
Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
@@johnkelly928 what an incredible opportunity! One day I want to work on manufacturing the encabulator’s magneto-reluctants! Can’t wait to see what’s in store next
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My girlfriend watched this and she was in tears while laughing. But the tears weren't because of her laughter. She was really confused and felt like she was having a stroke, then when the video ended there was a cyber security ad. It was enough to send her mad. 10/10 video.
you may be entitled to a 10% discount!
This video made me feel bad for thinking the original was real
Her demons were getting exorcised. 😂
"despite zero interest from industry, the SANS ICS security team has taken it upon themselves to develop an entirely new level of encabulation; unresponsive to the needs of the average consumer..." love it.
"Nobody gave a shit, We made it anyways, it's useful to absolutely no one."
This is the company Dilbert works for!
@@aidantuck9113”but you’ll be buying it anyway even though you never wanted it.”
Hey thats the company I work for!
The only difference between this and an actual pitch is this bit of honestly.
Exceptional. SANS is truly leading the industry towards zero trust encabulation.
Maybe even sub-zero trust.
megalovania starts playing
TARS and CASE also have a trust setting.
@@Naotaku That's the proposed necessity for 9th generation encabulation in the 2035 International Encabulation Standard Board's list of items. A team in Switzerland's been working on the theory, but it's still at least a few years away depending on how the Hinwil Institute of Encabulation handles the affair.
haha niiice
“Leveraging existing assets is not plagiarism.” Remember that folks!
That one really caught my ear since I need to reuse some homework for a term paper
that is the best quote and a great example of doublespeak in action.
Wikipedia.
I like how he cleverly inserted that static paradigm in order to keep his litigious counter interpreters at perpetual bay.
unoriginal copys
I had a roommate once who was going to school for mechanical engineering. He had a track record for being rather pretentious about various things.
I showed him this video, with the preface “Basically it’s funny because no one knows what the hell the guy’s talking about” and while watching the video, my roommate’s like “No, I know what he’s talking about. It makes sense. It’s a cool product these guy’s are selling. I couldn’t explain it to you though. It’s too complex.”
He didn’t know that an encabulator is literally a fictional thing.
Lol
But is it though? :P
Great play. Technical word salad makes some engineers get quite excited.
I'm pretty sure he was trolling you
What was so great about the original (and this version to a lesser extent) is that half of the technical word salad does actually mean something. For example: "the relative motion of conductors and fluxes" describes how an electric generator works. Conductive coils move through a magnetic field, and the magnetic flux that flows through the coil is what produces current. Similarly here, "DIN rackable" just means it's designed to fit onto a standard DIN rail (a common feature for industrial electronics). Overall, it's nonsense, but the little snippets of overly complex jargon that actually mean something are always fun to pick up on.
After all these years I’m glad to see they still have the side fumbling under control.
😂
I just used a rubber band or two.
Yep. That is important for backwards compatibily to interfacing systems that have low fumbling tolerance.
with all the new and exciting features added to the system it's a wonder it doesn't do a shit ton more side fumbling than the early prototypes. pushed hard enough though i'll bet it does some rear fumbling... on paper anyway
Hahahahah
You, Sir, are *living proof* that "leveraging existing assets" is not plagiarism!
th-cam.com/video/acZHs_3IaIo/w-d-xo.html
So true. And hilarious.
Remixing is art.
I feel like the narration is dialogue being generated by my brain during an Ambien-fueled fever dream.
I miss ambien. They won't let me have it anymore because I liked it too much 😂
My pharmacist woke up in a jail cell in his pajamas because of an Ambien tablet.
@@NegativeROGHow did they get a jail cell into your pharmacist's pajamas? 🙃
@@alexanderderevin725 OMGLOL, I should re-word that, huh?
@@NegativeROG No, pls. don't.
How this guy keeps a straight face while sounding off total gibberish for 6 and a half minutes is simply incredible.
mike kraft is a machine.
A well oiled one. @@kevCarrico
Next POTUS for sure.
My Dad had a Rockwell Retro Encabulator. He kept it in the crawl space under the house. My whole family knew that no matter what happened; it was there.... just in case.
your dad was a smart man,
Very sensible. You never know when something - or someone - might need encabulating.
You should probably get it checked; earlier models had asbestos.
Prepper before it became fashionable! perfect for when the walls come tumbling down.
We had one as well. It worked fine until one day it raped the cat so we had to shoot it - the encabulator that is. The cat's okay but in therapy
"owing entirely to the manipulation of airborne particulate matter and single-surface reflective devices"
Brilliant. I'm going to totally use that to say something is pure "smoke and mirrors" sometime.
Thank you for being the first to acknowledge that joke.
@@mikekraft9669 Thank you for making it! I worked at Honeywell IAC around the time that the "Retro Encabulator" came out, so it holds a special place in my heart.
I work in cybersecurity now, so the trajectory of encabulation has been weirdly timely for me. 😂😂
@@mikekraft9669 The shits and giggles joke was hilarious too.
@@RedwoodRhiadra 5:40 I wondered if anybody else caught it lol
Holy shit lmao
He's come back
The man
The myth
The legend
I will never, NEVER, hear "Rockwell" without hearing his voice saying "Rockwell Automation's Retro Encabulator" and "the production of Milford Trunnions".
@@mandi8345 For me it's definitely "side fumbling" and "dingle arm". The man is a national treasure.
I came here for retro encabulation. I stayed for the trans-modial duractance.
scott sterlings face?
th-cam.com/video/acZHs_3IaIo/w-d-xo.html
I'm glad to see TARS is doing fine and well after all he's been through.
I thought I was the only one who caught that....Bravo!
what if it’s CASE?
@@kevCarrico mmm interesting question… maybe its case too… or both…
Could you please low your sarcastics levels?
My first thought too haha
This was invaluable, not just for industry experts, but for the whole family. You know what they say: “The family that encabulates together, effluviates together!”
An infernal faustian engine for the whole family!
TL: effluviate = expel smelly gas or breath or odor.
Where do you guys even find these words?! 🤣
In other words, the clan that fits together shits together.
Mastication for the whole family!
That sounds kinda gross. Especially if the whole family is doing it! 🤢
Years ago, I neglected to metabuff the nangling pins before insertion. It precipitated an unrecoverable non-encapsulation of the preencabulated outputs, resulting in a dingle-arm field breakdown, which as everyone knows, makes it impossible to initialize the cloudbenders. I fixed it by re-reticulating the splines while simultaneously applying a non-Floridian magnetopattern to the stress risers.
A Sim-City man of culture here I see.
Mediocre.
My friend tried to fix a similar problem- but applied a Floridian magnetopattern to the stress risers. We miss him.
Those bloody reticulating splines.
_well_ within prescribed parameters, excellent encabulation my friend!
Pure gold. As an information security practitioner the comment regarding the SOC drawer had me in tears.
As an Architect, it did me too!
As a moron, I had a jovious laugh at all the funny words.
Same here, his pausing before saying it was killer
I learnt more in this presentation about the unique relation between the total spatial conjecture system and quasi-dynamic limbo loop operation than the 3 years master class i attended at the prestigious UAP Identification institute. I am forever grateful for the enlightenment.
that was not an easy scene to shoot:
th-cam.com/video/hG0Z9G55gQo/w-d-xo.html
Tight. Conniption. Fit. Give this man an Oscar.
we’re trying to give him an oscar, but he won’t sit still and accept one.
That perfectly describes my "X"!
I like the addition of casual malapropisms, as well as the seamless evolution from "Bell Labs"-flavored nonsense to "Silicon Valley"-flavored nonsense. I can't imagine how many takes it took to deliver some of these lines with such a masterfully straight face.
not more than one take per setup.
Would have made Archie Bunker proud!
I don't always encabulate, but when I do, I use a datascope with nangling pins. Stay hydro-encabulated my friends.
I mean I prefer the more traditional Fingle bolts but that's one of those things only hobbyists really care about.
No wonder your process is suffering side fumbling waning in constrapulation of improper encabulations.. you're using water based sideo-sonial deplenerations in a non-hyrdo maliable cardinal-gram structure when a cybernetic dingle based AI matrix is the industry standard to prevent data structures moving through intermodial magneto reluctant fields of flux..
Encabulation now, encabulation tomarra, encabulation forever
Do the nangling pins have any problem with side fumbling? Asking for a friend.
LOL
I worked at the company that made the original retroincabulator video. It existed only on a single VHS tape and was played at meetings and classes as an ice breaker. I don't think it was ever intended to go beyond company walls. I'm glad it did. It shows that the company used to have a sense of humor.
the *original* “original” goes back 80 years.
@@kevCarrico The Retroencabulator video with this announcer for Rockwell Automation was copywrited in 1997. The Turboencabulator was obviously made before then.
@@farfrohmpupen I'm not sure it was ever copyrighted. Director John Wright shot it at the Allen-Bradley studio in Milwaukee as a joke to put on the end of the December training release for distributors. How it ended up on eBaum's World is still a mystery to me.
@@mikekraft9669 You're probably right; I just noticed the 1997 at the end. I was at that meeting. I nagged the director for a copy the VHS tape and finally got one. Months later, one of my students asked the same of me and when he returned the tape, he gave me a CD with the digital file on it. I notieced sometime later that it was on TH-cam. A funny side story: while the tape was playing, some of the attendees were annoyed at the laughing and giggling. Some actually thought it was a real product and thought we should have a little more respect. That video has done me a great service over the years to wake up the students who just returned from a heavy lunch.
@@farfrohmpupen goes to show corporate sphere produces nothing but bullshit.
My great grandfather was killed in a horrific accident after the Encabulator side-fumbled and tore him in half. I'm glad they fixed it on this model.
I never understood that TARS was an actual HyperEncabulator actor produced by SANS ICS, now it is clear due to the hydrodynamic genuflection, thanks SANS ICS for your research!!
Yes, in hindsight it was obvious, I am ashamed to have taken so long to identify the Triple Alignment Roving Superencabulator beta product.
#KIPP and CASE enter the chat.
lolol perfect
Stackable DINN rackable and unhackable
Oh my god, I thought it looked like TARS!
The fact that this was almost entirely plays on words and phrases instead of just made-up words is absolutely fantastic. I dunno why, but hearing SBOM thrown in there made me happy.
This sounds amazingly a lot like the Cyberiad by Lem.
This is the densest packed sketch I've ever seen. More brilliant wordplay and jokes than Airplane.
@@BlueZirnitra You might enjoy watching “Xavier: Renegade Angel” then. A bit less family-friendly, but similar
You can tell who actually understands what is happening here. Some will try to reply as if they believe it’s simply a matter of hypersubstition of characters and jibberational non-sequiturs. Their Obtuse nonconformance of the established standard makes it obvious.
It's the fact that colonic effluvium expulsion is such a more elegant and efficient way to achieve the same goal.
We had a challenge when I was an intern at an engineering firm to use language from the original retro encabulator video in our reports to our boss, who was relatively business oriented and non-technical, without giving context to see if he listened and understood anything we were trying to explain to him. I regret to say that I totally broke when I said the thing I was working on was suffering from "Magneto reluctance", which kind of gave the whole thing away. However it's a good test to try on your boss sometime if you think that he doesn't understand anything you do.
crazy thing is, magneto reluctance is actually technically sensible, if not just stating a principle and a quality in the same line..
That is a high level Dilbert move.
And here I thought it had to do with a character in X-Men....
Most people have no idea what a mag is anyway.
That Fat Boy Slim joke was perfect
Fat Boy Slim is fucking in heaven!
New Encabulator technology is great, but the Vinyl Encabulator always has a place in my heart because of it's warmth and horizontally-opposed wainshafts.
You just don't get the same depth of sound from digital encabulation.
*waneshafts
*LUNAR waneshafts you mean 😂
How this man can deliver his lines with a totally straight face takes pure talent! I'd have been busting out laughing before the end of the first paragraph.
Some of it seems laughably simple doesn't it! But we have to bear in mind that a lot of people don't know what an encabulator does, let alone a turbo or hyper encabulator!
mike kraft is an on-camera machine.
It's in the job description.
Number one rule of being a corporate video talking head: Just. Read. The. Script. And let the marzle vanes do the rest ;)
@@philipjorden4516 Well, the Rockwell Automation Retro Encabulator is pivotal in the successful operation of Milford Trunnions.
It's good to know the security robots on Interstellar were such excellent Encabulator models.
maybe it’s the other way around?
hehehe pro
No those are just the hyperencabulator pro models
It is the only thing that helps me dormate at night.
COME ON, SANS
I never knew the Transcendental Data Hopper Scope used Anhydrous Nangling pins! Truly ahead of its time. Frenetic Mastication changed my families life.
I can scarcely believe the level of encabulation that we have achieved. What an age to live in.
And the scourge of side fumbling (which has cost humanity so dreadfully dearly) is finally a thing of the past.
Truly, these are interesting times. Encabulation has gotten us this far, and it will carry us onward evermore!
I love that "dingle arm" has become a real term in engineering. its up there with "doodads" and "googas" and even "widgets"
...googas? Like from that Justin Roiland sketch?
Or dongles.
Buy a KLR motorcycle and join the team that has thermobobs, duhickies, and farkles galore. I shit you not, all true terminology to anyone owning one of these machines.
Seriously, this is the truth.
Just don’t get a doohickey on your tallywacker. 😉
@@Sinjinator that's what happens when you get side fumbling from untrusted sources without a prophylactic handshake security layer
Glad to see Mike still getting work from that script! (I worked on the Rockwell piece with him. The note about plagiarism - classic.)
What a fantastic update!
Really? That was the most brilliant script I've ever heard played out. Lol fantastic!
That video is so wonderful. I share it out everywhere. And will be sharing this one too.
That rules and you rule
You're awesome
This update is the next generation's Fitness Gram Pacer Test, and I want to thank you for your part in it
I should note, when I read your name the first time, I thought I saw Mike Wazowski
I'm gonna dial back on the caffeine
That's awesome. I'd love to know the BTS of that process!
I just took delivery of my SANS ICS and I love it. It's by far the best Encabulator I've ever owned.
“When the public was weddy for the next wave”
Had to listen to that twice to make sure I wasn’t losing my mind. So damn good
“The US Compartemnt of Offense” and “Natural Guard” 🤣
'despite zero interest from the industry...'
I heard it as wetty.
The amazing TARS cameo as HyperEncabulator with Kubrick’s HAL-9000 displays were a very nice touch. Welcome back, sire.
th-cam.com/video/acZHs_3IaIo/w-d-xo.html
Also, the targeting computer display from the first Star Wars
@@brandonthesteele haha, nice, it’s been a while since I watched any of the series, good eye!
Also the round moire pattern from Mr. Spock’s science station
I also noticed the animation of the assembly the the skunkworks device looked a lot like a Tesla turbine.
The death star approaching UI and trench run targeting computer UI were nice touches on the HyperEncabulator.
The references to 2001 and the original series Star Trek on that same screen were just :chefs_kiss:
dont forget that the whole machine is literally one of the robots from interstellar
Playing Tempest on screen at 5:25 🤣
@@Technohazard good catch!
It's good to know the HyperEncabulator incorporates TEMPEST security.
Show this to Congress, 3/4 will vote for it.
As a McMillan man myself, I always wondered how the encabulator widget coupling enables every flange splicer, every hanging gated flop-hopper and wangle joint to integrate fully with splurge lugs and sprock-noggins while remaining fully compatible with the lipped and unlipped rear-facing winglebobs, and you’d still have enough nubbins left over for a splack-packet.
can’t have too many nubbins!
Bad idea. The manual may not require use of the nubbins but long term exposure of the wobble-phasers to the flop-hoppers can lead to early side-fumble failure and thus replacement of the entire unit. Never skimp on the nubbins.
NUBBENS
@@pancreasenthusiasteven Google is getting in on it.
I’m glad that I ordered the later version with full reverse nullification properties, 10th dimensional exploitation and spurving bearings throughout for higher performance of the dingle arms which ultimately improves calculations such as a parabolic arc through various states of matter at ftl speeds.
Nubbins are a bit old school now btw.
the motion controls are so natural, every time he wiggled or waggled to close a panel I thought "that's exactly what he should have done"
The hyper encabulator was a real prop in the shoot, including the displays.
@@OVER-bENGINEERED Yeah - the director has it on his YT channel.
As our founder once said: “Encabulation is 10% inspiration, and 90% flatulation.”
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm fifty three, and for the first time in my life, my eyes have been opened wide. I have SANS to thank for this.
Mike is a living legend in the Encabulator industry.
th-cam.com/video/acZHs_3IaIo/w-d-xo.html
Good to know Sans makes the reduction of side fumbling a high priority, especially when you consider the impact it has on postcoital capacitance and the non-barometric wainscoting associated with granmeter synchronization. Well done, Sans!
Exactly. The next iteration includes the barometric enfabulator drive.
And, the sock drawer!
Just don't feed it after midnight...
It is good to know. So many concerns about the side fumbling in previous encabulators. Sure, they thought they had addressed it with the retroencabulator, but we all know better.
"the battle of hastings happened in 1066, but that's not the point" - bloody hilarious!
Sounds like a line that Leslie Nielson would say.
@@MrMaxeemum Yesss 100%
“Thomas Edison once said that invention was 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. If that’s the case, Thomas Edison should’ve invented deodorant, but I regress” is another great joke in this along the same lines
I think my favorite thing about this is how the cybersecurity discussion sounds like random words but is largely composed of actual cybersecurity jargon 🤣 couldn’t tell you how coherent it actually is but I recognized a fair bit of it.
A lot of the original turbo encabulator was genuine engineering terminology just all jumbled up and nonsensically used. This is a genuinely brilliant way to make a tribute to that within a different field.
I cannot stress enough how awesome this is. A joke from the 40s still going strong!!! Lol
A joke? what do you mean?
We meet every 20 years with an upgraded model. Welcome to the club.
Not sure what you mean by joke, but I still have my grandpa's Turbo Encabulator from 1951. Aside from a little hyper-magnopic surgiance in the auxiliary side transnifters, it still works! 71 years of encabulating!
@@owenisgoing Old Encabulators never die they just get more features such as the beck and sprong spod rods for better gangle pins.
I doubt your story about your Grandpa’s Turbo Encabulator.
Tell me, how exactly did he deal with the side fumbling issues?
--Flashback begin
[Narrator]
The original machine had a base plate of pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with a panometric fan.
--End flashback
[Narrator]
Yes, that was once me.
Extolling the virtues of retro-encabulation.
Now I may not be the dashing, young on-camera narrator I once was, but if history tells me anything it's that the battle of hastings was fought in 1066.
But that's not the point.
The point is that encabulation has a rich, sumptuous history with a delicate, flaky crust relatively unknown to emergent cybersecurity personnel.
Allow me to elucidate;
The discovery of encabulation was quite accidental, when engineers in the skunk works at Mutual Polydynamics coupled a transcendental hopper datoscope with a spiral decommutator via the application of anhydrous nangling pins, resulting in a device that allowed for netic mastication at alarming speeds.
The device was kept secret for many years owing to the horrific accident that occurred shortly after its inception, how-some-ever the US Compartment of Offense and The Natural Guard soon realized its potential as a weapon of choice, leading to its next iteration, The "Hydro-Encabulator", which they nicknamed "Fatboy Slim."
Understanding the grizzly bear fact of the devastation that would result from its deployment, the project was re-tubed and transmogrified for industrial supplications.
This version, known as The "Pseudo-Encabulator" was the infernal, Faustian engine that allowed post-war America to realize its aspirations and become the domino player on the world stage.
Everybody was encabulating.
--Movie clip begin
[Character 1]
I don't understand you.
[Character 2]
Well I knew you wouldn't but if I'd told you before the answer meter on the other side permulates the counter-spell happiness and that's the entire secret there you have it.
--Movie clip end
[Narrator]
During the tumultuous 60s the psycho funkadelic "Vinyl-Encabulator" emerged as the long-haired hippie people's answer to their parents aging technology, scarving a resonance groove in the hot wax of a new generation of encabulators.
However, interest in encabulation waned precipitously until the late 80s when the public was ready for the next transubstantiation of encabulation, the extraordinarily populist "Turbo-Encabulator."
--Flashback begin
[Narrator]
Now, basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conducters and fluxes it is produced by the modial interaction of magneto relucatance and capactive directance.
--Flashback end
[Narrator]
Which brings us to where we are today, floundering in the wake of the obscenely similar "Retro-encabulator", featuring yours truly; Living proof that leveraging existing assets is not plagiarism.
Now, despite encabulations unparalleled success in reducing sinusoidal depleneration through advanced ding-alarm technology, it has failed to meet the unanticipated needs of the cybersecurity industry to create zero trust operations in level zero monitoring environments to ameliorate zero-day process attacks.
That is why, despite zero interest from industry, the SANS ICS Security team has taken it upon themselves to develop an entirely new level of encabulation unresponsive to the needs of the average consumer and undoubtedly without merit in terms on concomitant asynchronous communication with client-side connectivity.
Ladies and gentlemen, I-SACs of all sectors beer included, and children of all ages may I present The "Hyper-Encabulator".
The Hyper-Encabulator is nothing less than a key ruminant in the advancement of retrograde phenomenology by which we can achieve results that are plastic, spastic, and sinosynclastic without sacrificing both normative reality and AI-informed modalites.
You'll note that the Hyper-encabulator utilizes indiscreet modules, making possible virtualized environments that include PLC-controlled, stand-up reheaters as well as retainium-based cloud benders.
It also includes a dedicated OT security operations center access panel known as: "The SOC Drawer",
The primary modules of the Hyper-Encabulator are stackable, dinrackable, and unhackable and please note the complete abscence of side fumbling owing to the maintenance of tolerances allowing a tight conniption fit.
Please take little note of this module: "The Open-Source Digital Ghost Daemon", which allows transparent OT invisibility owing entirely to the manipulation of airborne particulate matter and single surface reflective devices, or for criminal infrastructure sectors where the dependability of sopramet wenosprox is essential.
Our handsome ransomware hypervisor is perpetually alert to SQL injections of gates, tracking chips, and quantum IOT identification dots.
Moreover, whenever a pen-test is elected to assure the integrity of a safety instrumented system, our purdue model modal module de-feathers and plucks clean every proverbial fox in the hen house and keeps would-be intruders wondering which metaphor got mixed first.
As you can see, the Hyper-Encabulator has reached a high level of development whereas previous dissimilar devices operated under the concept of manumatic stressor reduction and macroeconomic supply chain s-bombs, The Hyper-Encabulator operates totally under the principle of colonic effluvium explusion and audible gaseous eruptations.
Thomas Edison once said that invention was ten percent inspiration and ninety percent persperation, if that's the case, Thomas Edison should have invented deodorant, but I regress.
In the near future, Hyper-encabulation will ultimately replace all traditional cybersecurity safeguarding processes with osculating seqmentation and entropic astrogation, making what was once thought to be impossible, probable.
At SANS ICS Security, when we're not innovating, we're encabulating.
That should be printed on a teeshirt
I wish I could copy and paste this😭
Oh finally lyrics
Oh, well that clears it up. I was sure he said ' dingle-arms'
Thank you for your hard work, sir.
I for one am glad that this newest hyperencabulator incorporates built-in TEMPEST technology.
Technology so powerful you can play Tempest on it!
This man aged like a silver fox.
And his voice is just as smooth.
wreally maybe your wwrite..
Who is he?
This manages to both make fun of the thing and be the thing at the same time. That's really impressive writing. Oh, and it seems much much longer than the 6 minutes it actually is.
Oh:
"But that's not important now."
> Oh, and it seems much much longer than the 6 minutes it actually is.
That's just the fluoroeffective macro-temporal-transposer effect. It shunts time through the Dreyfus Shaft and photo-retrospectively transluminates the effervescent flow.
That's due to The Helvetic Scenario, due to the panoramic fan, due to the fumbling of the grammeters!
Encabulation technology has made some amazing advancements over the years. Side fumbling is finally a thing of the past, what a time to be alive!
hold on to your papers!!
The advent of the lunar wayneshaft spelt its end of days
It's entirely owing to the maintenance of tolerances allowing a tight conniption fit.
very cool that rockwell is once again putting effort into encabulation. I know GE's Turboencabulator was a real competitor in this space but this new Hyperencabulator seems like it's going to change the game for encabulation
they sure produce quality products. they havent made an ad since the 80s because everyone instantly jumped on the trend so they didnt sell anymore until now, where we all needed replacements.
I had the privilege of working on the inverse production model of one of these while contraemployed by a defense contractor. We made a lot of alluvial improvements that really helped to transmorphify it's already callipygian abilities. We improved the audible gaseous eruptations by installing a sialoquent mufflometer which resulted in 180% more colonic effluvium expulsion when measured at the pyrogastric obelus. We also found that quintangulating the retainium based cloud benders could boost dactylomegaly in all peristeronic processes when manuductively catillating.
"Stackabe, DIN Rack-able, Unhackable" is a truly kickass slogan for a high-security datacenter hardware supplier.
A couple things:
1. I'm happy to know that the side fumbling issue has been completely resolved. I still ran into issues with the previous model around 300 encabulations per second.
2. You claim the primary modules of the hyperencabulator are stackable, dinracklable, and unhackable, but are they also unwhackable?
3. Im glad to see SANS continue to lead the industry in sinusoidal deplenaration with its state of the art dingle arm technology.
You never want them unwhackable. You need to have at your ready your operational velocity driven physical enhancer.
Side fumbling actually exists. It is called " end play " in a mechanical system.
@@zolartan4442 What about that Waskley Wabbit?
I’m a security professional, and the inflagration of the VMS (Vibratron motional system) within the SOC is a big benefit for bipedal phlanges. Awesome. Can’t wait to see the interspace between the mapping for camera call ups too
Thank you for your service.
If you need spare vibrators for the Vibratron I know a supplier.
And indeed, Kosckiuskos theorem revolves through metastatic ketonic aegeum.
I'm a little miffed that this new model doesn't have the reiterative phase capitation features that have, traditionally, been bundled with the recombinant viscosity matrix. But, hey, what do I know? I'm just a lawnmower security mechanic that encabulates 60+ hours a week.
I used to work on the retro-encabulator back in the day. I actually was the main designer behind the waneshaft that prevented side-fumbling _and_ a lesser known issue, overderactance through the involuntary rewriting of the hexaflop CPU. There were many casualties that stemmed from overderactance but rockwell silenced all of the press about it to keep profits high and production numbers up.
Glad to see that care is still taken to prevent side fumbling in the modern digital models. Even with the reduced number of mechanical components, fumbling can still cause gradual wear to the spurving bearings and throw the panametric fan askilter, so maintaining a tight kaniption fit is essential.
Being able to move on from the marzel vanes really helped.
@@UrsaMajorPrimeYeah, the idea of coupling the parametric fan directly to the Ander’s vibromatrix was really a work of genius. With no marzel vanes the margin of error to prevent it from going askilter in a slide fumble cascade is actually paratabulatable!
Good to see we are still furthering the technology of Encabulators.
I really didn't think we needed an upgrade. I'm still using my retro encabulator and it works fine although not all side fumbling is not prevented. I guess it's finally time to upgrade!
@@InternationalGriffin The soon-to-be-released NanoEncabulator (not visible to the naked eye) may be more to your liking. It's there, but nobody knows it.
@@mikekraft9669 Yes, will look into preordering.
@@mikekraft9669 Will it include Elevated Platitudes and Caveat Emptiers?
2:20 "When the public was weady" you almost snuck that by me you tricky sonofagun
youall noticeed too. its a artifact. a human should of watched it before release. that's a common glitch. cause he didnt talk like that before , when he was young. odd .Nova should fix it
I remember watching the original roll out 30 years ago, the product has come a long way.
Same here. It’s good to see technology advancement in the encabulation sector.
this literally answered all questions i had about encabulation - and they even included the piece about side-fumbling! Impressive, this product will take humanity into the next age
I'm really enjoying the graphics on the HyperEncabulator. Makes me feel like we're going to be in the range of the rebel base soon.
Hi, I'm Troy Mcclure. You Might Remember Me From Such Educational Specials as Darling, I Encabulated our kids
😂
Another updated version of this?! There are simply no words. This man is a national treasure.
Oh, there’s lots of words. Lots and lots.
@@jimheimerl1637 indeed, this is true. 🤣
indeed
We keep innovating encabulation technology but we never ask ourselves how much encabulation is too much.
If that is a question you have to ask, you don't understand encabultation. Like space, encabulation is everywhere at once. You only have to harness its potential.
When they asked the mountain climber, why he did it, he said "Because it was there." I presume encabulation is similar.
indeed; we can encabulate, but should we?
didn't you listen? with side fumbling totally negated you have no reason not to
I don't think we should ever give up encabulating. Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Was so happy to see that they finally added a S.O.C drawer.
As a member of a cybersecurity team, we actually tried to implement the HyperEncabulator a few weeks back, but we just couldn't get it working. We had problems with penetration and even tried using SOAP to help ease it through the firewall, but it just got stuck in the sock, what a mess.
I think it was due to the fact that you need to maintain a bit of side fumbling to allow for easier entry into the proper port. In any event, we're just going try latter. We need a break after blowing out the WAP.
Somehow more informative than most tech marketing material.
I still use my retroencabulator to this day! I would say, “they don’t make ‘em like they used to”, but honestly I’m really looking forward to upgrading to the new hyperencabulator. The encabulation protocols in the sub-0 level offered by this new breakthrough tech is going to really shift the market.
I heard that you can marblate the movable retrograde spinatrons without intracussive spallups messing up your encabulation.. totally worth the upgrade if that's true..
@@rsrt6910 I thought so too at first, but now I really miss the gentle rending squeal of the old hydrocoptic marzlevanes. These new ones just make weird, sonorous graculations.
@@Panicagq2 If I was still just encabulating the occasional antifugable regradiations for friends and family I'd definitely keep my old retroencabulator. The sound of the pentametric fan really made you FEEL the encabulation.
Unfortunately, I'm increating more and more transfusilation in my encabulations and I can't spend as much time clearing reclusivated asmotium from the spurving bearings anymore.
Hopefully, we will be able to produce spurving bearings as one off productions that can meld insynchronously through hyperflygation, as per the Hanz-Ganstrom effect demonstrated during the first transfular escapilations test. I'm really tired of trying to find sets of spurving bearings that were created with the same quanta as the oscilating hysker flange. These parts are becoming more and more antique, and I worry that I won't be able to teach my grandchildren about encabulation once we run out of spurving bearing sets manufactured in the same batch of quanta. I've tried using mismatched bearings from eastern europe in the past, but they fail to achieve the proper magnetic resonance. I tried using an old torque converter as a sort of quanta buffer to alleviate the transmoidal stress, but even when I transfer casings in a pure nitrogen environment, the EMGL-7 particles still manage to escape before I can harness their energy in the quanta cloud. I'm trying to sell some of my old VX gallium sublimation rigs to hopefully be able to buy one of these new HyperEncabulators, but the market just isn't there right now.... Thanks Biden.
@@Jarl_Thidrandi I probably shouldn’t mention this as it’s technically classified, but… just so you know, the USG has stockpiled enough spurving bearings to last until your grandchildren’s grandchildren, perhaps longer. They have warehouses full of em.
This is literally, in the entirety of my perceivable visual life the most comedic, visual, and cybersecure thing I have ever reciprocated.
I was amazed that you were able to make anything as complicated as anything at all produced by Rockwell Software as simplified as the first video. Now, just when I thought nobody would take a vicious stab at distilling IT/OT securitizing normanclature, here you are again. Not all heroes wear capes!
I remember when my father bought an encabulator back in 1984. It was the model 86, the most common model that pretty much every household had at some point. My dad used it to invest in the stock market and iron his tie. I used it to do my homework and play tabletop games with my friends. My mom used it to make coffee, but as this was a home model it did have side fumbling, which led to the occasionally infrequent caffeinated spillage.
It was the best money my father ever spent as it lasted us until 2008, at which point it was heavily outdated. Sure it wasn't the industrial version as used by incorporated corporations, but it served us well.
I never knew they were on the mass market in the 50s, I always figured they reached the home market in the early 80s, or possibly very late 70s.
Glad to see rockwell automations legacy continue on into the future.
You hang on to that with your life, the 82 to 87 models have the best transmoidal stress transfer stagings, and I've heard they don't require the more expensive spurving bearings manufactured in the same quanta as the oscilation hysker flanges. You can buy the singular production spurving bearings they made in eastern europe before the wall fell, and those are a fraction of the price since they do not require allignment of the magnetic resonance tube to capture the EMGL-7 particles. They would simply cure them in a pool of sigmoidal nuetron gel, which was then exposed to a nuetronic doping beam and the particles would meld with the outer 1/17th, rather than being "kelvin baked" into the very atomic structure at absolute 0, like the more expensive spurving bearings of the west. They might not last as long, but you do not need matching sets to achieve magnetic resonance.
I remember those early low-spec encabulator configurations which weren't equipped with side fumbling stabilizers. Lost a good colleague to a spatial coffee anomaly, fumbling stabilizers should have been stock equipment and not a high-spec option. Machine made good coffee though, so I can't really complain.
The home models lacked the hydrocoptic marzlevanes that was added to prevent side fumbling? TIL
This is everything I could have hoped for in a sequel. Well done. Not sure how he held a straight face through all that. It was so seamless it sounded like one take.
As a young Julliard trained engineer in the sixties, calibrating one of these was my first job at Rockwell. It was the size of a room, amazing that we can all carry one now in our pockets.
Newer models do retain a variety of original features such as the 'Selective Quantitative Kinetic Detection Relay' or 'Squeaky Door' as it's referred to in the Encabulation community.
The constant change on subject matter kept me disoriented during the whole thing, my brain was struggling to pin point what this was about. This is masterfully written and the delivery is top notch.
I didn't think it was possible to improve on perfection but here we are; ICS leading the way towards the UltraEncabulator, once only dreamed about. What a time to be alive!
...and I can only imagine what the outtakes look like for videos about encabulation.
umm… what do you know about the uE, and when did you know it?
@@kevCarrico unfortunately that's top shelf secret squirrel knead-the-dough information
My boss and i were arguing whether or not encabulation was even used anymore. He didnt think so even though his uncle was a welder on the retrograde discandescence chambers they used at the time.
I just won 50 bucks and found out theyre not only still a thing, im also really excited to see what hyper encabulation will do to increase the precision of an already essential technology.
I've been following encabulators for quite some time, I'm very pleased with the new iteration. Although I will miss the retro encabulator I believe the Hyper encabulator will meet all my future encabulation needs.
Get ready for the chronoencabulator! It’s the only encabulator invented after it was put on the market.
The Hyper-Encabulator seems fine, but I think I'm going to wait for the Nano-Encabulator to meet my stringent encabulation requirements.
I have a twin turbo encabulator I retro fitted it and it's backwards compatible
@@mysmirandam.6618 LOL
2:20 "...the public was weddy!"
Indeed, we were!
"But I regress" is such a subtle gem.
Finally, an encabulator with a built-in X-Wing targeting display!
It also has what looks like a Death Star staggering display.
I was actually wondering how encabulators adopted to the digital age. Wouldn't have thought of CyberSec but now that I've seen it, it does make a lot of sense.
Thanks for that invention, it's quite a hassle to connect the old TurboEncabulator to the SQL datascope nangling pins, because of the ongoing postcodial capacitance issue with the SOC drawer. Also good to know that side fumbling is effectively decreased. - Well done SANS ICS!
This is music to my ears!
I used to play one of those, in a rock band, back in the 90s, before all the big industry players, switched to Franistat based oscillators, with better frequency stability.
Reminds me of a saying we had back then... "You can tune a fish, but you can't tune a HyperEncabulator", LOL
This is clearly shifting encabulation to the next level. As the market leader SANS is constantly unleashing unrivaled leading edge technology, even under harsh or adverse conditions. And it’s mil spec’d. I need one.
When calibrating framistats with deplenurized Milford trunions, I always used my portable encabulator. But this is quite an improvement. Bravo.
I was working on a similar process to mobilize this technology with portable veeblefetzers, but I was using a home-built model, a left-handed one with the belt in the back.
I wonder how well it handles plugging tangentsoidal s3 bucket holes to prevent yubikeychain jingling.
I was asking about a portable one.. The disergation over nautmeters is annoying! Send specs?
I repurposed my retro vinyl encabulator for just such an occasion. Unfortunately the dingle arm attachment was insufficient to mitigate the sinusoidal deplanaration.
Whoa there cowboy. If youre facing deplenurization of trunnion girdles you better check for sinusoidal side fumbling in the lunar weng shaft. And as always, lubricate your sliphole before and gripjiggy and it should want to stay planerized with the reluctance standoffs. Otherwise the piston return spring will interfere with the muffler bearing and send the spirving arm straight through the amulite casing. And I dont have to tell you how bad that can be for your dingle alignment. Damn near impossible to get it back under USDWM spec after that, at least in the summer. Kiss that yellow sticker good bye for at least 6 months until they salt the roads again and you can do a proper calibration. Unless of course you have the limited semiboloid vacuum distribution assisted framistats....But whos got THAT kind of money?!?!
My favorite feature of the retro encabulator was the elimination of side fumbling. I’ve been a happy camper ever since! I’m going to tell my manager about this new model though, I think they’ll love the new sock drawer.
I had no idea there had been such incredible advances in encabulation! Thanks for the update.
It's nice to see that the developers heeded the advice of the Tempest fan club and included it in the Hyper version. I've been on the fence for a while, wanting, but not really needing emcabulation technology in my line of gorilla dust forensics, but that pesky Tempestlessness was always the deal breaker.
Finally!
it was my favorite video game.
I genuinely do not understand how legit this channel is, why this video exists, what SANS ICS does, or what the shit I just watched. Love it.